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00:00Thank you, thank you, thank you everybody for being here.
00:04Apologies that we're competing with music, but the conversation that we want to have
00:08today, Dr. Ayanna and I, is really important to us, and we want to start the conversation
00:13by just a disclaimer, right?
00:16When we talk about mental health, depression, suicide ideation, suicidal attempts, it can
00:22be emotional for some of us, so we understand that this may be an emotional, sometimes triggering
00:26conversation, but it is important that we have it today.
00:29So, thank you all for being here.
00:32I know that we have a lot of mental health professionals in the room, so we're happy.
00:37The idea today is how do we build a resourceful community, right?
00:41There's a lot going on in the world.
00:43Can you hear me?
00:49It shouldn't be, because we were just up here before.
00:53Better?
00:54No?
00:57Is this better?
00:58Okay.
00:59So, the conversation that we have to have today is an important one.
01:03The more informed that we are, the more resourceful our communities will be.
01:07As we know, it's like we don't have that many resources as it is, so it's really up to us
01:12to develop a resourceful community.
01:14So, we'll start with a little bit of introduction.
01:16Dr. Ayanna, do you want to go first?
01:18Yeah, absolutely.
01:19So, if you were here for the last talk, I am Dr. Ayanna Abrams.
01:22I am a licensed clinical psychologist in Georgia, and my practice focuses on black women's
01:27mental health.
01:28So, I work with individual black women.
01:30I work with couples.
01:31I work with groups.
01:32And I work with companies, right, who need to take better care of black women, right?
01:35Because these are all the kinds of different, you know, settings and relationships that we
01:39are in that causes us a lot of stress, causes a lot of turmoil.
01:42And sometimes, some of the thoughts that we turn to do relate to harming ourselves, right?
01:47So, that's why we want to have this conversation.
01:49And I also want to make sure that we note up here that talking about suicide does not increase
01:54your risk for suicide, right?
01:56What we have learned over time is to be really, really fearful of the conversation because
02:00we're really worried about, like, putting ideas in different people's heads.
02:04But talking about it actually reduces the stigma around suicide.
02:08Talking about it builds community amongst black women to recognize that there are some
02:12vulnerabilities that are going on.
02:14And talking about it gets you closer to the resources that you might need to quite literally
02:18save your life or save the life of someone that you know.
02:24Can you hear me now?
02:29Can you hear me?
02:30Okay.
02:31My name is Beatrice.
02:32Born and raised in New York City.
02:34My background is in mental health.
02:36I have a master's in mental health.
02:37The reason why I became interested in a career in mental health is because at a very young
02:50age, I started noticing all the disparities that were happening around us.
02:55There was a lot of violence within my home, a lot of domestic violence.
02:58My mom attempted suicide.
02:59Thankfully, she's still alive.
03:01One of the strongest people that I know.
03:02And that's what sparked my interest in psychology.
03:06And so my whole career has been geared towards developing initiatives, prevention and intervention
03:12programming to help us all have a more successful outcome and to develop a resourceful foundation
03:19for us.
03:19And so I've been doing suicide prevention work for the past 15 years.
03:24Currently, I'm the executive director of an organization called Haven, which is an organization
03:30for black and brown indigenous women.
03:32We're all about abolition and liberation.
03:35But how do we really deal with abolition and liberation if we don't liberate our own minds?
03:40Right.
03:40How do we build a more strong foundation that we can all lean on?
03:46And so that's my work, the work that I've been doing.
03:49And so today we're here to really talk about what are some of the risk factors, the things
03:53that put us in danger of becoming depressed or even suicidal.
03:59And we have to think of it in levels, right?
04:01It starts off with sadness.
04:03Sadness can continually increase.
04:05That can turn into depression.
04:07That can turn into suicidal ideation.
04:10And then that can turn into attempts.
04:12Possibly, right?
04:13What do you think?
04:14Yeah, absolutely.
04:15When we think about warning signs for suicide and kind of suicide risk, nobody ever just
04:21gets to there as their first right option in their lives.
04:24Oftentimes, people will consider and kind of have thoughts around harming themselves because
04:29they feel really helpless.
04:30So there's something that's going on which is like, this is the only thing I can think
04:33about to stop this pain from happening, which is why we do have to have more conversations
04:37about this.
04:38And like I said, we tend to get very scared about it.
04:40But somebody naming that they are thinking these thoughts typically wants help.
04:44They want someone else to know because they don't want to feel so isolated in those thoughts.
04:48So I work with a lot of clients who might have suicidal thoughts who are really scared
04:52of having these thoughts.
04:53They're really worried about having these thoughts.
04:55And they're worried about being judged, right?
04:57So we got to talk about stigma, right?
04:59We have to talk about stigma not only related to thoughts of harming yourself, but also stigma
05:04related to mental health and mental illness and mental distress.
05:07That if we can't have conversations about feeling anxious about something, if we can't have
05:12conversations about stress at work and stress in our romantic relationships and stress in
05:16parenting, right?
05:18Stress in corporate spaces, stress in our friendships, right?
05:20With other women, then typically we're going to feel more isolated.
05:23And that isolation is a real risk factor, right?
05:26For suicidal thoughts because oftentimes people are looking around saying, I don't have a better
05:31choice.
05:32I can't picture a better life than this.
05:34And it's the only thing that I can think of to stop this pain that I'm in.
05:38And oftentimes what people will think is that's the only thing that I can think of to stop
05:41burdening other people.
05:43We assume that we're making life worse for other people.
05:46So if we have a good set of friends, a good solid kind of family setting, some corporate
05:50settings to say, hey, we want you here.
05:52We believe in you.
05:53We love you.
05:54That can really, really decrease the risk.
05:56But if we're not talking about our mental health issues, if we're not talking about these
05:59stresses because we got to be strong, we got to put that cape on.
06:03We got to make sure that nobody ever sees us vulnerable.
06:06That actually puts us at much higher risk.
06:08And black women are at higher and higher risk every single year, not only for suicidal
06:12ideations, but for suicidal attempts and for suicide completions.
06:17And I love everything that Dr. Ayana is saying because for me, for example, culturally growing
06:23up, feeling overwhelmed was seen as a sign of weakness, right?
06:28We're constantly being told, be resilient.
06:30And that's really not how, that's not realistic, right?
06:33And so normalizing and validating that it is normal for many of us to feel overwhelmed
06:40is where it's at, right?
06:41And so when we talk about the healthcare system, and again, I work with youth that were at risk
06:46and now women of all ages, we have to start having these direct conversations with our
06:51youth.
06:52You'd be surprised.
06:53There's eight-year-olds that are starting to feel depressed.
06:55There's nine-year-olds, and I'm from New York, that have actually, unfortunately, completed
07:00suicide.
07:01And so we have to start having these conversations very directly, very upfrontly, very early on
07:07in life, right?
07:08And so part of that, what we're saying here is when we talk about the warning size and the
07:13risk factors, these are things that we need to be informed of, and when we talk about
07:17an informed community, it's informing ourselves of not only, like, what are the signs, what
07:23are the symptoms, but who can I go to?
07:25If I don't know how to manage this, who can I turn to?
07:27And so this is why it is important for us to start developing these networks.
07:31Coming here is a perfect place where you can find, like, a wealth of information that
07:35you can take back home and share with others, right?
07:37Unfortunately, we've been talking about the overturning of Roe versus Wade for a few weeks
07:42now, and that's going to likely increase the prevalence of suicidal ideation for many,
07:49right?
07:50And so, again, we have to start thinking of how can I be a member of a community that
07:56can give?
07:57And for many of us, what do we have the power of giving is different, right?
08:00There's times that we're so depleted ourselves that we don't have means to give, but sometimes
08:05just gearing someone in the right direction to get help is part of the solution.
08:09Yeah.
08:10I want to take a quick poll.
08:11Who in this room, raise your hand, if you have somebody you can turn to when you don't
08:17feel well?
08:21Take it seriously.
08:22Like, I want, like, and I want you to look around the room.
08:24There's about half of y'all who don't have your hands up, right?
08:28That is what we're talking about when we talk about community, when we talk about when something,
08:32when, I can't cuss, but when things get real, who can I turn to and talk to these things
08:39about?
08:39We have our, you know, play, play friends.
08:41We got our social friends.
08:43We got our people we can talk about work stresses.
08:45We got our people we can complain about our relationships to, right?
08:48But when we are unwell, when we are not feeling like ourselves, when we notice that it's been
08:52more than two weeks and I feel disconnected from myself, when we have a pervasive headache,
08:58right, because of the stresses of the world, when we are fearful, right, of being in a
09:02world that looks like, looks the way it does today, particularly in, in, in this here
09:05America, who do you talk to about that?
09:08And those are things you, those are conversations you're not going to have at the day parties.
09:12Those are conversations that might not come up in the group chat, but when you have one
09:16to three solid people you can talk to, it will significantly decrease your risk.
09:21I want to see those hands again.
09:22Who has at least one person who, if you were feeling depressed, you could say, hey, I ain't
09:27got it.
09:28Like, I'm, I'm struggling over here, right?
09:30And if you have one, but I wanted you to think about who your people are, because those are
09:34the people that quite literally can help you save your life, right?
09:37That's why I make it a point when I'm working with clients, I want to know the people's names.
09:41I want to know all your homies names, right?
09:43Those are the people who we're going to talk about when you are not feeling well, can you
09:47call them?
09:47Can you text them?
09:49Can they get a meal to you, right?
09:52Can they pull up on you when you are not feeling well?
09:54I want to know the pull-up friends, not these play-play friends.
09:57Essence Fest is good.
09:58We cool.
09:59We cool, right?
10:00But this is not for play-play.
10:01So we got to make sure we have people in our lives.
10:03And that could be friends, family members, co-workers, cousins.
10:06You got to make sure you have at least one person, right, to be able to talk about these
10:10things with.
10:13You want my mic?
10:15I think you can hear me, right?
10:16You can hear me now?
10:17Okay.
10:17Okay.
10:18So you're going to be hearing the word community a lot.
10:21Excuse me.
10:21And that means different things for different people.
10:23So when we talk about, for example, when we know of someone or ourselves that we're
10:28suffering emotionally and we need help, we think of going to a therapist, right?
10:34That's one.
10:35But when we think of women of color who are therapists, Dr. Ayana is one in the few.
10:40Statistically, I think about 5%.
10:42I read that we only have about 5% people of color who are therapists.
10:47So Dr. Ayana is kind of like a gem for us, right?
10:51But what that means is that we have to find other resources, supportive methods to therapy,
10:57right?
10:58And so that's when we need community organizations, community programs like Haven that I'm here
11:03representing, outlets for expression for our youth.
11:07And so when we think of the healthcare system, that's really not our complete savior.
11:12This is why we keep saying community is really important and the resources within that community.
11:17What are the programs that are within your community?
11:20Now, because of the pandemic, unfortunately, things have escalated for some folks.
11:25But we have the opportunity to do things virtually.
11:28So getting information of what are some of the programs that you can connect to that are offering
11:31telehealth, virtual programs, those are important for you to have just as a resource
11:37for people that may be at risk.
11:39And to talk a little bit more about community, right?
11:42So oftentimes when we think about suicide prevention, we're thinking strictly like mental
11:46health.
11:47We're thinking strictly conversations about suicide and how to help somebody not harm
11:51themselves.
11:52But also when I think about suicide prevention in a more kind of community or kind of system
11:56lens, I'm talking about fair housing, right?
12:00I'm talking about neighborhoods that feel safe, right?
12:02I'm talking about spaces that feel safe for women to be in.
12:05I'm talking about not having racist workplaces, right?
12:08I'm talking about not having abuse in your romantic relationships, in relationships with
12:12children, in elder relationships, right?
12:15I'm talking about not having childhood abuse.
12:17These are all aspects of suicide prevention.
12:19So I want us to also kind of expand our scope and what we think about when we think about
12:23suicide, that the ways in which we live in the world also factor into how our bodies
12:28hold stress and kind of what resources we have.
12:31So really thinking about it in a much more kind of global way.
12:33What are the experiences and kind of the day-to-day experiences that you're having that contribute
12:37to stress, right?
12:39Because stress is a huge factor, right?
12:40In black women considering suicide for themselves and in children considering suicide, right?
12:46So thinking about what are these different systems that we are in, right, that don't protect
12:50me?
12:51What are these systems that we are in that don't leave me feeling safe, cared for, loved?
12:55And that's a basic level.
12:56At a basic level as a human, we deserve respect.
12:58But I'm talking about love embracing me, not tolerating me, right?
13:03But how do you shower me, right, with love and kind of honor and that kind of respect?
13:07That's what suicide prevention looks like.
13:09So also thinking about what kind of relationships am I in, right?
13:13How protected and loved and respected do I feel in these relationships?
13:16That is also suicide prevention.
13:18There's a lot of times, a lot of times when we think of, um, we, a lot of throughout this
13:28whole like three days, we're going to be talking a lot about community, but we're talking also
13:32a lot about resources.
13:33And we're also talking earlier, you were talking about toxic relationships.
13:37For some of us, the things that put us at risk are not just romantic relationships.
13:41Sometimes it's our relationships with parentals, right?
13:45With our, our, um, our moms, our dads, if they weren't there, sometimes the abuse comes
13:50from them.
13:51And so when we think of what are the things that are putting us at risk for these issues,
13:56we have to think that sometimes it comes from within our homes.
13:59And sometimes we've been taught that we can't just cut relationships or cut ties with our parents
14:05because they're our parents.
14:06And we know that that doesn't work, right?
14:08We know that a toxic relationship is a toxic relationship.
14:11And when we have to cut those ties, if it means that it'll keep us safe, we must do that.
14:16And we must encourage others to do that as well.
14:18So those are some of the things that we need to think of, like what are our risk factors?
14:22But a question that I have for you, right?
14:24We know that risk factors are the things that put us in danger of becoming depressed or possibly
14:28suicidal.
14:29What are the things that keep us protected?
14:31So I would love to hear from you all.
14:33Can you identify what are some protective factors that you have lined up in case you're feeling
14:38vulnerable or at risk?
14:41Anybody have any examples?
14:44We spoke about people you can lean on.
14:47What else can you lean on?
14:49What are things that you do or people who you're with that help you manage the stress?
14:54Self-care.
14:55Okay.
14:56What does that mean?
14:57So self-care is a big old buzzword.
14:59Okay.
15:04Prioritizing yourself.
15:09Yes.
15:10Self first.
15:11Others get the overflow.
15:16Therapy.
15:17Journaling.
15:19Exercise.
15:20Physical movement.
15:22Nutrition.
15:22keep going financial decisions right absolutely
15:30yeah yep that self-care right and which is it which is in its own way particularly for black
15:42women is community care recognizing i need to prioritize myself the world has specifically
15:47told us that we are the mules of the world that we come last that's what we dealt with for
15:52centuries right so it makes sense that we don't know how to put ourselves how to kind of flip it
15:56and put ourselves first but really kind of honoring that and believing that which will take practice
16:00you're not gonna start prioritizing yourself tomorrow right it's gonna be hard for you and
16:05other people are gonna have a response to it right we live in a world where people say how dare you
16:09black woman take care of yourself how dare you close your email how dare you turn your phone off
16:15give me give me the dnd right how dare you not be available at seven in the morning right we're gonna
16:21be in a world that will continue to push that you want to be able to know and honor and believe
16:25wait a minute i deserve rest just like everyone else does right right it's very important what
16:30you're saying right here the young lady in the front is saying basically we need many different
16:34layers of protective factors um and one statistic that we forgot to mention at the beginning is that
16:41and it's important to look at numbers right because it gives them is an indicator as to what's
16:46happening suicide prevalence and attempt is highest amongst young black girls right and i'll say that
16:53again suicide prevalence is highest amongst young black girls right and so at a very early age they're
17:02becoming um inundated with stressors right that are too heavy for them to bear and so for us as the
17:10adults but whether we're parents or whether we're aunties grannies caretakers um and i don't want to
17:18put this burden on you all that it is your responsibility but the more aware that we are of
17:23how we can get the help that they need to support the more of a healing community that we will develop
17:29and that's really what's important right now i agree i agree i love that that um that note about we have
17:35to listen to each other including our children not even our children right including our children we
17:42have to respect that they are separate people from us and they get to have separate experiences and
17:46processes because a lot of even the the adult women who i am talking to who i work with in my clinical
17:51practice are talking about symptoms from 10 years ago and nobody would listen right listening as an
17:57active skill is very very important being able to validate someone's experiences even if you don't
18:03understand it even if you don't like it even if it makes you feel a little bit defensive so oftentimes
18:08i have women who come in and say i've talked about the issues that i have and people get really
18:13defensive and they say well i didn't mean to do that i tried my best i was a good parent right all
18:19these things that's all being true doesn't invalidate that but your child is saying i still needed
18:25something different i still needed something more than that and it's on us to be able to listen to
18:30young black girls in our lives because what's happening in the education system is that they're
18:34not being listened to they're being violated violently right physically violently and emotionally
18:39the home has to be a safe space a haven right for our young girls because young girls right who begin
18:45having these symptoms turn into young women turn into parents turn into older women who have now had a
18:52history of issues for 30 years right it's much harder when you get older to navigate some of these
18:57things we want to find community at every different age group right and to add to some statistics right
19:04not only are we noticing that there are more um you know kind of these warning signs and suicidal
19:08suicidal ideation attempts and completions amongst young girls we oftentimes think about you know
19:13suicidality is like a white person's thing like only they do i've had clients who come in and they're
19:19very very shocked and surprised like that's for white people we don't do that and we got to tell the truth
19:24we do this we are hurting and we are in a crisis right the numbers have now surpassed white young
19:31girls and white women in terms of suicidal ideation and attempts black women are on the top of the list
19:37now right and again that kind of goes into these community factors right one thing that i was coming
19:42across that i also noticed in my practice that we didn't talk about before so i'm going to add something
19:45in is that there is another risk factor for black women that relates to being in white spaces
19:52so when we think about black women who are in corporate spaces these work spaces that aren't
19:56taking care of them a lot of these spaces require women to have male attributes right they require
20:02you to be strong not have any emotions get to the board meeting do this work late be assertive shake
20:08hands real aggressively and kind of do all these meetings in a certain way but what happens right
20:13is that black women are more and more in these spaces with white men and what do white men have
20:18that black women don't have power and privilege right black white white men and white women have
20:26a lot of community resources right that we do not have one by numbers one by finances one by safety
20:32one by not experiencing racism so now what's happening is that there are more and more black people
20:37in spaces that were created for white people and we're expected to act like them but we do not
20:43have the backdrops that they do right and what do we also do we try to hang with them so we go to the
20:48happy hours we go to all these kind of different things right when that might not be the space for
20:53us right but we don't have our own space so we have to really be mindful like why these numbers are
20:59shifting right that as black women are also navigating kind of increased income and increased
21:03finances what are the spaces that we are in we are more and more around white people so we have to
21:08really be really be mindful right that if i'm going to be around more white people i need to connect with
21:13my black people i need to make sure because they're the ones who are going to take care of me
21:16right because white people have the resources and they will leave you without resources right
21:20and that's a whole other conversation but i wanted to make sure i wanted to make sure of that note
21:24that as we move into more spaces where we can we can well we're more exposed to white people
21:30we're at risk i'ma just say it i can't hold it i can't hold it we only have about three minutes
21:35left so we want to just wrap it up by reassuring and kind of like going over the conversation
21:40today right because it was a short one what are the risk factors is important for you to identify
21:44that's going to look different for everybody what are the protective factors how do you build a
21:49resourceful community and then lastly when you think of therapy therapy looks different for
21:54everybody oh yeah right find your route therapy is also your non-traditional approaches to therapy
22:01that are super helpful than just that you know traditional talk therapy women of color as therapists
22:07another another um that cultural connectedness is super important so those are things that you have
22:12to keep in mind the numbers are going higher things are getting worse these systems of oppression are
22:17getting deeper and deeper so we're starting to feel that weight even more yeah these are things that
22:22we have to be on the lookout for our neighbors our people and just check in on each other even if we
22:28are all feeling super heavy yeah are there you are your sister's keeper you really are
22:32you
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