- 5 months ago
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00:00I can't hear y'all. Make some noise this morning, Essence Fest.
00:04Was that panel amazing or what?
00:08I mean, to be honest, there's no better way to start this thing off
00:11by, you know, than talking about our well-being, right?
00:17Okay, so, I have something great for you guys coming up next.
00:23Now, if you're just making your way to the Essence stage
00:26or tuning in at home, we are just getting warmed up.
00:30So, grab yourself a comfy seat because this next panel
00:33is all about two things that I'm having a real, real hard time obtaining.
00:41Love and relationships.
00:44Make some noise if you're single in here.
00:47Okay, make some noise if you're in love.
00:50All right, okay.
00:52So, if you're picking up what I just put down, y'all,
00:56things are about to get real, go ahead and snap some photos,
00:59write down some gems.
01:00Without further ado, please give a warm welcome
01:04to Essence Entertainment editor, Revae Ruff,
01:08darling of Love is Blind, season one,
01:11Lauren Speed Hamilton,
01:13and half of the dynamic duo that we all fell in love with
01:17on Married at First Sight, Miss Brianna Miles.
01:20Hey, Essence fam.
01:42Hey, y'all.
01:43Hi.
01:43Good morning.
01:44Good morning.
01:45I'm so honored to be here today to dive into this next conversation
01:48about black love and black relationships.
01:51I'm your moderator, Revae Ruff,
01:53and today I'm in conversation with two lovely ladies
01:55who have inspired so many women with their love stories
01:58and their adventurous way about finding the one for them.
02:01We have Rihanna Miles and Lauren Speed Hamilton.
02:05Woo!
02:06Just to dive right in.
02:08Ladies, can you talk to us about what led you to make the decision
02:11to look for love and romance in the way that you did?
02:14Was it a no-brainer or were you, like, in the rope?
02:17Or, Lauren, let's start with you.
02:20Well, girl, let me roll out the scroll.
02:23No, my dating life was really going nowhere.
02:26I was at a frustrated point, and all my dates were just empty.
02:30They were super surface.
02:32So when the opportunity to go on Love is Blind came to me,
02:37because that's an important key, y'all, came to me.
02:39I didn't have to go chasing it.
02:40You know, that's what God will do sometimes.
02:42It will bring the blessing to you when you least expect it.
02:45Amen.
02:46And I never thought I was going to do reality TV.
02:48At first I thought it was such a crazy concept,
02:51but then the more I prayed about it, I was like, you know what?
02:54My dates have been super surface.
02:55This is a good way to connect with someone that I can't see,
02:58not based off just physical,
03:00and really make a human connection with someone.
03:03So that really was like, okay, this could really be for me.
03:06And thank God I did it, because five years later,
03:09me and my husband came together, blessed.
03:14And Brianna, what about you?
03:15How did you pursue this choice?
03:17So for me, I had just moved to Atlanta in December 2019,
03:22and the world shut down because of COVID in March 2020.
03:27And so I had been going on dates, and like she said,
03:30they were very surface level.
03:32It was really nothing to them.
03:34And I was actually going out on dates quite a bit.
03:36It was, I was like, okay, I'm very picky.
03:40Very picky.
03:40So when the opportunity, you know, presented itself,
03:43I was like, okay, maybe this would, you know, be good for me.
03:47I had all my stuff together.
03:50I had finished college.
03:51I was in my career.
03:53I was like, okay, now all I'm missing is my man, you know?
03:56And so, yeah, the opportunity presented itself,
03:59and I said, okay, let's do it.
04:01Did not think I would ever be chosen to do this.
04:05But I said, let's go along with the process.
04:07And here we are, almost three years later with a baby.
04:12Worked out well.
04:13I can only do it.
04:14Right.
04:15Now, some people assume when you go on these reality shows
04:18that everything is staged, scripted, fake.
04:20They tell you what to do, what to say.
04:22Was any of that true for either of you on your shows,
04:25or do you feel like how you were depicted on TV
04:27is kind of true to form to how you actually are?
04:31Brianna?
04:32For me, I will say that it was mainly all true.
04:37None of it was scripted, actually.
04:39But I don't feel like my personality really shined on the show.
04:45I think that I was kind of boring,
04:47and I kind of just, you know, went along with what my husband said.
04:51But they didn't really show everything.
04:54And, like, all of our fun moments.
04:55Like, I really wish that everyone could have seen that.
04:58Because, y'all, we had a time.
05:01We had a time.
05:02And we're a very fun couple.
05:04So I don't think I was really, you know, depicted correctly.
05:08But it's okay.
05:10It's okay.
05:10I was still very positive.
05:13I will say that.
05:15What about you?
05:15I think, for me, it was important for me to just go in and be myself.
05:21So luckily for me, I was happy with the edit.
05:25But that doesn't go to say that, in reality,
05:29there are moments where the producers do push,
05:32and they do try to get you to do something.
05:34You, being a person on the show, have to stand up and be like,
05:37no, that's not really me.
05:38That's not my personality.
05:39I'm not going to say that.
05:40And so that's important as well.
05:43But kind of to echo what Brianna said,
05:46I do feel I wish that they showed more of me and Cam's fun times and personalities.
05:51Our storyline really evolved around race, which I get it.
05:55We are an interracial couple.
05:57But like Brianna said, we had so many fun times just joking around with each other,
06:01having a good time.
06:03But, you know, it's TV, so they chose to, you know,
06:07focus on the thing that will really push the narrative,
06:10which is the interracial couple.
06:12Makes sense.
06:13Now, Lauren, specifically, you took a really crazy risk going on Love is Blind
06:17because you can't see who you're falling in love with.
06:19It could have been an ogre, for all you know.
06:22It could have been Shrek, girl, but if you had a good personality, I don't know.
06:25Well, how did you feel that first moment when you saw your eventual,
06:28well, I shouldn't say eventual, when you saw your husband?
06:31And if you saw him on the street without falling in love with him,
06:34do you think you would have given him the time of day seeing him versus not seeing him?
06:39Yes, absolutely.
06:40I think that my husband, Cam, is so handsome.
06:44And when I saw him, like I said on the show, to me, he looked like Prince Charming.
06:49And I wasn't even just physically.
06:50At that point, we had been talking so much and made that connection.
06:53It was just really what he embodied.
06:56You know, he cared about family.
06:59We shared the same values.
07:00He was respectful.
07:01So, even if he wasn't as attractive as maybe I would have liked, which he was,
07:07I was very happy.
07:08Let me just state that.
07:10I still would have kind of given it a go.
07:12I would have tried just because I knew that we had that connection.
07:15But lucky for me, he was fine.
07:18And if I saw him on the street, yes, I would talk to him.
07:21Now, Brianna, you did Marry to First Sight season 12, and you're now happily married with a beautiful baby girl on the show for it.
07:30Given the opportunity, would you do it all over again?
07:33Would I do it all over again?
07:35Jeez.
07:36If I had the same partner and the same outcome, yes.
07:42But, of course, you don't know that unless you take a shot.
07:46So, I think I would do it all over again.
07:49I would just have to remain true to myself and remain open.
07:53I think that's the key with Married at First Sight.
07:55You have to go into it very open.
07:58You can't just be shut down.
07:59Yes, I was picky, but at the same time, I was a very open person.
08:03You may not get exactly who you said you wanted on paper, but you don't know what's good for you, to be quite honest.
08:11Obviously, some stuff didn't work.
08:12You were dating for so long, and you put all these things down on paper.
08:16But, you know, someone else matches you, and it actually works out if you put the work in.
08:21That's a great approach to take with it.
08:23Now, Lauren, we saw your love for Cameron evolve over the first conversation.
08:27And one thing you grappled with as a black woman was the fact that he is indeed white.
08:31In this racially tarred society we live in, how was the response initially?
08:35Like, were people overwhelmingly supportive, or did you get a lot of haters?
08:39You know, a lot of times we'll have something to say with black women dating outside and whatnot.
08:43And how do you deal with any of that commentary?
08:46Yeah, you know, well, before the show came out, me and Cameron were married for a whole year and a half.
08:51So, nobody even knew who we were.
08:52We were just a couple walking the streets.
08:54And surprisingly, people would stare at us, but I wasn't sure if it's, do y'all just think we attractive, or y'all just don't like what you're looking at?
09:02At times, of course, we live in Georgia, so the climate there can be either black or white, literally.
09:07But we never, lucky for us, but even if we did, it wouldn't be a problem.
09:13No one really gave us a hard time.
09:15For us, it's been a lot of support.
09:18I mean, people shower us with love, and every time we're out on the street, they come up to us and say,
09:22you inspire us, you give us hope, we love seeing your story.
09:26And that's what we focus on.
09:27We try not to focus on the naysayers or the haters, because at the end of the day,
09:31it's about he and I and our happiness and spreading that joy to other people.
09:35You better say that.
09:37Now, do either of you feel pressure as black women to not embody certain stereotypes on television?
09:44Did you feel like you could be your full and complete selves and be vulnerable in that space,
09:48or were you kind of trying to pull back so you don't look a certain way?
09:52I was 100% myself.
09:55I am a strong, independent, black woman.
09:59I am an engineer.
10:01I was doing my thing.
10:02And, like, my personality shines.
10:05Like, I mean, I'm a very bubbly person.
10:07I wasn't trying to pull back at all.
10:09I love my culture.
10:10I love my background.
10:12I love my family.
10:13You know, I mean, we're beautiful people.
10:16I love that for us.
10:18So, no, I wasn't pulling back at all.
10:20I was like, I'm here, and y'all better love me.
10:24No, that's right.
10:26For me, it was the same thing.
10:27You know, previously watching reality TV, there had been so many times where I didn't feel like I saw a woman who really represented me as a black woman that was quirky and herself.
10:39Like, I didn't want to go on there.
10:40I didn't want to be catty.
10:41I didn't want to make up a character to get more TV time, especially going on a dating show.
10:46I need somebody to love me for me, not a character that I'm putting on to get more screen time.
10:50So, I went on there as myself.
10:53I prayed about it.
10:54I said, you know, if anything is going to come from this, whether it's a husband, camera time, whatever it may be, I need it to be because I am who I am and proud in that.
11:04But, girl, that was me all the way.
11:05Y'all didn't see me with my bonnet on?
11:07I was not playing, honey.
11:10I said, y'all going to get all of me, fool me, how I am, every day, all day.
11:14So, and I'm happy because of that because so many women come up to me and they're like, thank God that you are yourself.
11:20Representation matters.
11:22And there are so many different types of black women and I really hope that reality TV starts to shed more light on the spectrum of black women.
11:30We're not just one dimensional.
11:33So, I love that I can represent something for people who relate, you know.
11:38Absolutely.
11:39Now, ladies, you've both proven that black women can find real love on reality TV.
11:43There's been debate about that and it stands the test of time.
11:46Do you have any words of encouragement to the women in the room who are looking to find their own love in their life?
11:51Or maybe considering doing something like you did, taking that type of risk?
11:59Words of encouragement, I would say do not hold back.
12:04Don't, always be yourself.
12:06Don't dumb yourself down or think that you can't be yourself because you won't be accepted by people.
12:12Like I am, if you are strong and independent, be strong and independent.
12:15But know that if you do have a partner, if you are looking for a partner, you can kind of, you know, just lean on that person.
12:22Don't dumb yourself down, but lean on that person to be the person that you are and to shine through your relationship.
12:28That's, you know, some words of encouragement that I could say.
12:32Yeah, I mean, she took the words right out of my mouth.
12:35It's so important to be yourself.
12:37And also, just know what you want.
12:40I know we all have our list.
12:41I need it to be A, B, C, D, and D, but at the same time, be a little open-minded because the blessing that you want may not come wrapped in what you think that it's supposed to look like.
12:52Period.
12:52So just keep an open mind, keep an open heart.
12:55You know, I'm not saying settle because people are like, I ain't settling for nothing, I ain't doing it.
13:00But you know what?
13:01You never know what God may present you and the timing.
13:05So just be ready.
13:06You'll know, you know.
13:07So just be yourself and it's going to come to you.
13:10All right, awesome.
13:12Brianna and Lauren, thank you so much for your time today.
13:15For sharing your experiences, your wisdom, and being so transparent.
13:19And Essence fam, we truly hope you enjoyed this conversation just as much as we did.
13:24Thank y'all.
13:25Thank you, guys.
13:26Thank you so much.
13:26Give a big hand clap for Brianna and Lauren.
13:29Thank you, thank you.
13:32It's an honor to be here.
13:34We're honored to have you.
13:35Thanks.
13:36Showed up.
13:38Shout out.
13:40What'd he do?
13:42Yeah.
13:44Now, pimpin'.
13:46Oh, boy.
13:47Oh!
13:47You
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