- 21 hours ago
Rented a Billionaire Husband for Christmas
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00So I'm fighting the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:12Uh, uh...
00:00:15Yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi!
00:00:22Just play along.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Hey!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58Do you want me to stop?
00:00:59Tell me now.
00:01:00I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:08I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:51Sam, it's me.
00:01:53Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:55I don't care how, just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:03Maximus, can't you get married already?
00:02:07Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend?
00:02:10I need grandkids.
00:02:12I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:14I need to go now.
00:02:15I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:17Seven years.
00:02:27Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:29And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:39Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:46I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:48Your vest, sir.
00:02:50But first, we found your fake Christmas wife.
00:02:52She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:53Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:55And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:58We can't have her know either Harrison Group CEO
00:03:00or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:02Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:07Hi.
00:03:08One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:13I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16Now Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:21Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:23It's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:27Where's my real one?
00:03:29Uh...
00:03:36I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:38Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:48Danny!
00:03:49Yo!
00:03:56Danny!
00:03:57No!
00:03:58I'm sorry.
00:04:00I'm not your dad.
00:04:01No, I know you're my daddy just as handsome as I've had.
00:04:04Oh.
00:04:05Mommy, hurry!
00:04:06Your fit Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:16I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:19He's gorgeous.
00:04:20Why does it feel so familiar?
00:04:33You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:35So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:37You're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:38See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:41Hi, my name's Piper. What's your name?
00:04:44Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:46Max, Aurelius.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:49I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:53I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:56I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:00So, per hour agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour.
00:05:05$1,000 an hour?
00:05:07Well, yeah.
00:05:09It's $500 a day.
00:05:11Is that enough?
00:05:12That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:14Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:16That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:18You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:20Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:22Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:25and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:27And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:29so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:32So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:37Fine.
00:05:38But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:43Deal.
00:05:44Deal.
00:05:47Ready to go get married?
00:05:48Wow.
00:06:03Clean up nice.
00:06:04This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:06Pictures.
00:06:07Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:18Oh, I think we got it.
00:06:42Oh, I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:46To prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:49and have a happy family.
00:06:50Yeah.
00:06:51Of course.
00:07:01Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:03From my family to you.
00:07:05Bad news, boss.
00:07:15The agency said that the girl that they recruited
00:07:16to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:19Wait, she bailed?
00:07:20Then who is...
00:07:21Who is she?
00:07:26Whatever.
00:07:27It doesn't matter.
00:07:29I've got what I need.
00:07:30Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:34I already found someone.
00:07:40Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:44Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:45Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:50in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:52I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It'll make it more believable.
00:07:59Fine.
00:08:00Yeah, fine.
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02You can come.
00:08:10Let's go.
00:08:11Which mall are we going to?
00:08:13Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:14Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:19Oh!
00:08:21What the actual fuck?
00:08:26Sam,
00:08:27is Maximus pulling another one
00:08:30of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:32Get me a DNA test
00:08:34for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:38She does kind of look like him.
00:08:40So when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:45we will say they're from you.
00:08:48Here, let me get this.
00:08:51I'm gonna love you, Max.
00:08:54Oh, so,
00:08:55I was, uh,
00:08:56thinking
00:08:57that
00:08:58since we're married,
00:09:00we should probably
00:09:01kiss
00:09:02once or twice
00:09:03in front of them.
00:09:05Okay.
00:09:07Should we use
00:09:08our tongues or?
00:09:09No, no,
00:09:09definitely not.
00:09:10And absolutely no.
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:14This is strictly business.
00:09:16Hmm.
00:09:17Anything physical
00:09:18outside of that
00:09:18does not have any.
00:09:20What?
00:09:21Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:24I just don't want
00:09:25Piper
00:09:25to have messy complications
00:09:27getting in the way
00:09:28of her having
00:09:28a good Christmas.
00:09:30Let's go.
00:09:37Here.
00:09:38What are you doing?
00:09:39I'd never let my woman
00:09:40pick up the tab.
00:09:43Well,
00:09:44I'm not your woman
00:09:45and this isn't
00:09:46a real relationship
00:09:47and I don't want
00:09:48your money.
00:09:50Attention shoppers,
00:09:51all bakery items
00:09:52are now 50% off.
00:09:5350% off pies?
00:09:55Quick,
00:09:55go grab a dozen
00:09:56pumpkin pies.
00:09:5612 pumpkin pies.
00:09:57I hear this right?
00:09:58They're the best kind.
00:10:00Hurry up and go.
00:10:00Go.
00:10:01What are you standing
00:10:01here for?
00:10:04Hello there.
00:10:05Hi.
00:10:05You ready?
00:10:06Yes.
00:10:06Yeah,
00:10:06just these things.
00:10:07Okay,
00:10:08great.
00:10:09We have a holiday
00:10:10special today.
00:10:11Spend 500,
00:10:12get 10% off
00:10:13and you are just short
00:10:1415 bucks
00:10:15if you want to
00:10:15take advantage
00:10:16of the deal.
00:10:17Oh,
00:10:17great.
00:10:18Yeah.
00:10:18What do you have
00:10:19that's just 15 bucks?
00:10:20Will you get
00:10:21a move on?
00:10:22I just got here.
00:10:24Relax.
00:10:25Yeah,
00:10:26yeah.
00:10:28Here,
00:10:29this will do the trick.
00:10:30Okay,
00:10:31thank you.
00:10:33Hurry up
00:10:34and pay.
00:10:37I will pay
00:10:38when I'm ready.
00:10:39You can wait
00:10:39your turn.
00:10:45Damn,
00:10:45my fake wife
00:10:46has some fire in her.
00:10:50Oh,
00:10:53wait,
00:10:53wait,
00:10:54not the pies.
00:10:54Not the pies.
00:10:55You can just
00:10:56set those on top.
00:11:01Hi,
00:11:02guys.
00:11:03I'm going to hand
00:11:04you all these pies.
00:11:09Of course.
00:11:11Thank you so much.
00:11:12Of course.
00:11:12I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:15She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:16Don't worry,
00:11:17I have enough
00:11:17for everybody.
00:11:18Just to give it away.
00:11:21Merry Christmas.
00:11:22Bye.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29You do that often?
00:11:31As often as I can.
00:11:36We should go.
00:11:37We got to pick up paper.
00:11:38Okay.
00:11:39Sit.
00:11:42Watch out.
00:12:01You done feeling me up?
00:12:04Shut up.
00:12:05I'm sorry.
00:12:06I was just in character,
00:12:07wifey.
00:12:07We'll stay out of character
00:12:09until Christmas.
00:12:15And don't be late.
00:12:27Harrison Group?
00:12:29Do you do construction
00:12:30for them or something?
00:12:32Sort of.
00:12:33Not that I'm judging.
00:12:34I just need to get
00:12:36my story straight
00:12:36or my mom will eat
00:12:37both of us alive.
00:12:39Why don't we say
00:12:40that you do mid-level
00:12:41management for Harrison Group?
00:12:42I think that's respectable.
00:12:45Can we pick another company?
00:12:47No.
00:12:48Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:50And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:51My cousin's husband
00:12:52works for them too.
00:12:53So,
00:12:53it's perfect.
00:12:54Oh,
00:12:59and, uh,
00:13:00wear something nice
00:13:01for Christmas dinner.
00:13:02Don't worry.
00:13:03Okay,
00:13:03I clean up nicely.
00:13:04I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:08Too much.
00:13:08Let's go, Sam.
00:13:30It's time to check out
00:13:31the new HQ set.
00:13:32Hold on,
00:13:33you're covered in water
00:13:34and you have a hair
00:13:35on your shoulder
00:13:35and it's not yours.
00:13:38It's my daughter's.
00:13:40Daughter's?
00:13:41Give me a DNA test
00:13:43for that little girl
00:13:44that he's with.
00:13:44Hey, there they are!
00:14:01Hey!
00:14:02Nice to meet you!
00:14:03Aw.
00:14:04Dad.
00:14:05So glad you made it.
00:14:06Aw.
00:14:07I missed you.
00:14:08So,
00:14:09where's this mysterious
00:14:10husband we heard all about?
00:14:12He's coming.
00:14:13Please don't tell me
00:14:14Maximus bailed.
00:14:15Good, good, good.
00:14:18So,
00:14:19heard you got
00:14:20a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:21When's he arriving?
00:14:23Oh,
00:14:24it's probably
00:14:24just some story
00:14:25she cooked up
00:14:26to stop people talking.
00:14:28Poor thing.
00:14:28Not surprising.
00:14:30I mean,
00:14:30she's 30.
00:14:31Once a woman
00:14:32hits that age,
00:14:33you become undateable.
00:14:35Plus,
00:14:35a kid looks so bad
00:14:37on dating apps.
00:14:40This is exactly
00:14:42why I refuse
00:14:42to come home single
00:14:43this Christmas.
00:14:44Auntie Pamela?
00:14:45Debbie,
00:14:46my dating life,
00:14:47quite frankly,
00:14:48is none of your concern.
00:14:49We're only worried
00:14:50about you.
00:14:51All these years
00:14:52without a husband.
00:14:54Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:55Ugh.
00:14:56You know,
00:14:57you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:59And look what happened.
00:15:00She got knocked up
00:15:01out of wedlock
00:15:02raising a kid
00:15:03all alone.
00:15:04I'm not alone.
00:15:05Mm-hmm.
00:15:06And what does
00:15:07this mysterious
00:15:08husband do?
00:15:12He's a manager.
00:15:13Manager?
00:15:15Of what?
00:15:16Trash?
00:15:17Probably a cover
00:15:19for criminal activity.
00:15:21Mm-hmm.
00:15:22You don't have to
00:15:23lie to us, Eva.
00:15:25Actually,
00:15:26he's right here.
00:15:28Oh, wow.
00:15:33Wow.
00:15:34He is really
00:15:35good looking.
00:15:37Ah,
00:15:38must be AI.
00:15:39Mm-hmm.
00:15:40Congratulations,
00:15:41Eva,
00:15:41on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:43Fake!
00:15:43That's enough.
00:15:44She's our daughter
00:15:45and your niece.
00:15:47Show some respect.
00:15:48Remember last year
00:15:49when I introduced you
00:15:51to my husband's
00:15:52nephew,
00:15:53William,
00:15:53and you turned him down?
00:15:55Well, guess what?
00:15:57William works
00:15:57for the Harrison Group
00:15:59now.
00:15:59Makes 500 grand
00:16:01a year.
00:16:02That's half a million.
00:16:04Half a million.
00:16:06Girls are lining up
00:16:07for him
00:16:08all the way
00:16:08to New York.
00:16:10And speak
00:16:11of the devil.
00:16:14Willie,
00:16:15you made it.
00:16:21There you are.
00:16:29Oh,
00:16:29look at you now.
00:16:31Living the dream.
00:16:33Oh,
00:16:33just think,
00:16:34Eva.
00:16:35Well,
00:16:35you could be
00:16:36driving around
00:16:36in a car like that
00:16:37had you not married
00:16:38that criminal
00:16:39waste manager.
00:16:41So married,
00:16:41huh?
00:16:42Is it
00:16:43serious?
00:16:45That's what marriage is.
00:16:46It's pretty serious.
00:16:48Wow.
00:16:49You must have
00:16:50rushed the time
00:16:51better than not,
00:16:51huh?
00:16:52Makes sense,
00:16:53though.
00:16:53You not being
00:16:54a hot young thing
00:16:55anymore.
00:16:56Dragging that kid
00:16:57around with no daddy.
00:16:59Yeah,
00:16:59a bullet dodged,
00:17:01Willie.
00:17:01Meanwhile,
00:17:02you're climbing
00:17:03the Harrison Group
00:17:04ladder.
00:17:05That's right.
00:17:07Just bought
00:17:07this brand new suit
00:17:08with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:11Women love
00:17:11a man in red.
00:17:13Sexy,
00:17:14like Santa Claus.
00:17:16Want to sit
00:17:16on my lap?
00:17:18Don't touch me.
00:17:19Oh,
00:17:19so entitled.
00:17:21Williams,
00:17:22a successful man
00:17:23of taste,
00:17:24not waste.
00:17:25And yet,
00:17:26for some reason,
00:17:27he's willing
00:17:27to overlook
00:17:28your baggage.
00:17:29I mean,
00:17:30look at that car.
00:17:31Could your husband
00:17:32afford anything
00:17:33even close to that?
00:17:35Think of the life
00:17:35I can give you
00:17:36and Piper
00:17:36with all my
00:17:37Harrison Group money.
00:17:38Ditch your nobody
00:17:39husband
00:17:40and marry me
00:17:42instead.
00:17:43I wouldn't marry you
00:17:44if you were
00:17:44the last man
00:17:45on first.
00:17:50My mom
00:17:51would never marry.
00:17:52She already
00:17:53has a husband.
00:17:53He's gonna kick
00:17:54your butt.
00:17:59Is that so?
00:18:00Well,
00:18:00then,
00:18:01where is he?
00:18:02Because I don't
00:18:04see him.
00:18:04Does anyone
00:18:05see him?
00:18:06Now,
00:18:09just like I thought,
00:18:11telling lies
00:18:12just like mommy.
00:18:13That puts you
00:18:14on the naughty list.
00:18:16And let me show you
00:18:17what happens
00:18:18to naughty children.
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:22Mommy.
00:18:23Hi.
00:18:24Are you okay?
00:18:25See your hands.
00:18:26Oh, my God.
00:18:27I'm gonna take her in
00:18:28and get her packed up,
00:18:29okay?
00:18:29Come on,
00:18:30let's go.
00:18:31What the hell's
00:18:33the matter with you?
00:18:35How dare you
00:18:35put your filthy hands
00:18:36on my daughter?
00:18:39Let me go.
00:18:40Now,
00:18:40why would I go
00:18:41and do a thing
00:18:42like that
00:18:43when I'm having
00:18:44such a good time?
00:18:45Let me go.
00:18:46Touch my wife again
00:19:02and I will snap
00:19:02every finger
00:19:03that you've got.
00:19:08Max,
00:19:08you came.
00:19:10Don't worry,
00:19:10sweetie.
00:19:13Where's Piper?
00:19:15William Hitter.
00:19:16Mom and Dad
00:19:17have to take her inside.
00:19:18Well,
00:19:19it looks like
00:19:19we have a real
00:19:20Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:21Well,
00:19:22well,
00:19:22well.
00:19:23If it isn't
00:19:23the Waste Manager
00:19:24I've been hearing
00:19:25so much about.
00:19:26That's right.
00:19:28Now,
00:19:29I'm about to
00:19:29take out the trash.
00:19:32Oh,
00:19:33Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:35It's an honor
00:19:35to meet you.
00:19:36I'm Max.
00:19:37Eva told us
00:19:38all about you
00:19:39from New York,
00:19:40polite,
00:19:40handsome,
00:19:41just like she said.
00:19:44Wow.
00:19:45He was an AI.
00:19:47See?
00:19:48He's real.
00:19:49And he's more of a man here
00:19:50than William would ever
00:19:51dream to be.
00:19:52Son of a bitch!
00:19:53You just ruined my suit!
00:19:55And watch the way
00:19:55that you drive that
00:19:56pristine automobile.
00:19:59That car?
00:20:00Oh,
00:20:01my God,
00:20:02that's worth more
00:20:02than a house!
00:20:04That car?
00:20:05It was all over the news
00:20:06when the CEO
00:20:07of the Harrison Group
00:20:08bought it.
00:20:10Wait,
00:20:11are you?
00:20:12Like I said,
00:20:17I'm just
00:20:18Eva's husband.
00:20:19And that's all
00:20:20he needs to know.
00:20:21I'm not here
00:20:22to put on a show
00:20:23for anyone.
00:20:24You really are a criminal,
00:20:25aren't you?
00:20:26You stole it!
00:20:27That car belongs
00:20:28to the CEO
00:20:28of my company!
00:20:29Jesus!
00:20:30How did he get away
00:20:31with it?
00:20:32That's what I want
00:20:33to know!
00:20:34Enough!
00:20:34Please!
00:20:37I trust my daughter.
00:20:39She would never
00:20:40marry a criminal.
00:20:42Max,
00:20:43be honest with me.
00:20:44Where did that car
00:20:45come from?
00:20:47How much do you want
00:20:48for it?
00:20:49I'll pay you
00:20:49more money
00:20:50than you'd make
00:20:51in three lifetimes.
00:20:52So,
00:20:54you need a breath, man.
00:20:57All right,
00:20:58that's it!
00:20:58I'm calling the cops!
00:20:59Oh,
00:21:00way ahead of you.
00:21:01Wait.
00:21:02What?
00:21:03Are you feeling
00:21:04nervous, Eva?
00:21:06Oh, well,
00:21:07too late.
00:21:15Listen, hon,
00:21:16I believe you,
00:21:18but how could Max
00:21:19afford a car like that?
00:21:22Mr. Smith,
00:21:23don't worry,
00:21:23it's my car,
00:21:24okay?
00:21:24It's not stolen.
00:21:26Yeah?
00:21:27If it's yours,
00:21:27then prove it.
00:21:29Cops will be here
00:21:30in 15 minutes.
00:21:32Enjoy Christmas
00:21:33behind bars.
00:21:34Okay,
00:21:34I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:36But then you have
00:21:37to get lost.
00:21:38And never show your face
00:21:39around my wife
00:21:40or child again.
00:21:41Oh,
00:21:41so you're a tough guy,
00:21:43huh?
00:21:43Well,
00:21:43I hope they serve
00:21:44eggnog in prison.
00:21:45Loser!
00:21:46Say one more word
00:21:47and I'll give him
00:21:47a real reason
00:21:48to take me in.
00:21:51Jesus,
00:21:52maybe he is
00:21:52a crime boss.
00:21:54It's kind of sexy,
00:21:55though.
00:21:58Here,
00:21:59title and proof
00:22:00of ownership.
00:22:08Mr.
00:22:08Harrison?
00:22:12Mr. Harrison?
00:22:16Mr. Harrison?
00:22:18Just play alone.
00:22:20Merry Christmas,
00:22:21Willie.
00:22:22Now get the fuck
00:22:23out of here
00:22:23before I kick your ass
00:22:24all the way up
00:22:25to the North Pole.
00:22:26Yes, sir.
00:22:27I'm so sorry, sir.
00:22:29Please,
00:22:30let me tell my
00:22:30serious apologies.
00:22:31Please.
00:22:41That William,
00:22:44what a jerk,
00:22:45huh?
00:22:46You fooled me.
00:22:47What can I say?
00:22:48Let's not let this
00:22:49little misunderstanding
00:22:50ruin the holidays.
00:22:52Oh,
00:22:52now you don't want
00:22:53to ruin Christmas?
00:22:54Oh,
00:22:54come on,
00:22:54Eva.
00:22:54We were just
00:22:56looking out for you.
00:22:57Please forgive us,
00:22:58Mr. Harrison.
00:22:59You know my youngest
00:23:00son is graduating
00:23:01soon.
00:23:02Do you think
00:23:03that you could
00:23:05help him get
00:23:05his foot in the door?
00:23:06A job at the
00:23:07Harrison Group,
00:23:08even in the mailroom,
00:23:09would open doors.
00:23:11We are family,
00:23:12aren't we?
00:23:13Family takes care
00:23:14of each other.
00:23:16If you guys want
00:23:17a job at the
00:23:17Harrison Group,
00:23:18you can put in
00:23:19an application
00:23:19like everyone else.
00:23:20Abigail,
00:23:21come on,
00:23:22talk to her for us.
00:23:23Didn't you just say
00:23:25that my daughter
00:23:26was undateable?
00:23:27Yeah.
00:23:28I think you need
00:23:29to take care
00:23:29of your own issues
00:23:30first.
00:23:30My daughter
00:23:31is just far
00:23:32too busy
00:23:33for your best life
00:23:34for my new
00:23:35son-in-law.
00:23:37Come on,
00:23:37guys,
00:23:37let's go in.
00:23:38Welcome to the family.
00:23:42Welcome.
00:23:43Come on in.
00:23:44Come on in.
00:23:44This is your fault,
00:23:49Pam.
00:23:50You can't tell
00:23:51the difference
00:23:51between AI
00:23:52and reality.
00:23:53My fault.
00:23:55You were the one
00:23:55who was pushing her
00:23:56onto that worm,
00:23:57William.
00:23:58Oh!
00:24:08Hey,
00:24:08how do you have that car?
00:24:10And how do you know
00:24:10the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:12And how do you...
00:24:12I told you,
00:24:13I work for Harrison Group,
00:24:15remember?
00:24:16I have a friend
00:24:16in high places.
00:24:18A friend who just
00:24:19hands you keys
00:24:20to million-dollar,
00:24:21one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:22Yes.
00:24:23It's the season of giving.
00:24:25He knows people,
00:24:27has connections.
00:24:28He's a big deal
00:24:29kind of guy.
00:24:30You're a crime boss,
00:24:31aren't you?
00:24:32Yeah,
00:24:32and you best not forget it,
00:24:33capisce?
00:24:34Oh my God,
00:24:35just don't blow your cover.
00:24:38Dad!
00:24:39Mom!
00:24:40Thank you so much
00:24:41for letting Max and I
00:24:42stay in your home.
00:24:43Oh, honey.
00:24:44We're just so happy
00:24:45that you found
00:24:46such a handsome,
00:24:47strong,
00:24:49good-looking.
00:24:50I think they get it,
00:24:52huh?
00:24:54How's Piper?
00:24:55Oh, she's fine.
00:24:56One of you guys
00:24:57just gets settled in
00:24:58and we will go check on her.
00:25:00And if your mom
00:25:01takes a cold shower,
00:25:03we'll come back
00:25:03and finish decorating
00:25:04the tree.
00:25:05Great.
00:25:06See you in a bit.
00:25:07Shall we?
00:25:08What are you doing?
00:25:11Okay.
00:25:13Hey, was that not
00:25:14a breach of contract?
00:25:19Relax.
00:25:19It was just a hug.
00:25:22Ugh.
00:25:24We just got here
00:25:25and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:26You'll be okay.
00:25:28It's just one week.
00:25:29Kill me now.
00:25:30Well, I would,
00:25:31but I need to get paid.
00:25:33What are you doing?
00:25:39That's weird.
00:25:41They were so lovey-dovey
00:25:42just a second ago.
00:25:43I don't know.
00:25:44Something just fills off.
00:25:46That's ridiculous.
00:25:48I mean,
00:25:48what do you want me to do?
00:25:49Make him a promise
00:25:50to prove him?
00:25:52I don't like this.
00:25:54Later.
00:25:57Let's go.
00:25:57Here we go.
00:26:04Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:06Everything looks amazing
00:26:07and happy holidays.
00:26:09To the newest member
00:26:10of our family,
00:26:11Max.
00:26:12Oh.
00:26:13Welcome.
00:26:14Cheers.
00:26:15Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:16Looks great.
00:26:17Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:19I had no idea what you liked,
00:26:21so I just whipped up
00:26:22a little bit of everything.
00:26:24But we all know
00:26:25what Eva's favorite
00:26:26Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:28Mmm.
00:26:29Oh, no.
00:26:29Mom's testing him.
00:26:30She's trying to see
00:26:31if he's legit.
00:26:32You mean to tell me
00:26:33you two are married
00:26:34and you don't even know
00:26:34my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:39Ow.
00:26:40Eva, sweetie.
00:26:42Kicking my foot.
00:26:43Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:45Oh, jeez.
00:26:47It's okay.
00:26:49Look, mom,
00:26:49of course he knows it's...
00:26:50I would like to hear
00:26:51Max say it.
00:27:05Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:27:06Did I hear this right?
00:27:08They're the best kind.
00:27:10Well, of course.
00:27:11It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:13See?
00:27:15Are you happy now?
00:27:16That's good,
00:27:17but something still feels off.
00:27:19Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:22We had a whirlwind romance
00:27:24and we eloped
00:27:25before we got to know
00:27:26everything about each other,
00:27:27but our marriage is real.
00:27:29I guess your mom's
00:27:30just watching too many
00:27:31of those real short shows.
00:27:33Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:37Okay, well,
00:27:38then answer this.
00:27:39Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:44Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:48I knew it was a good idea
00:27:49to pick this up.
00:27:51Well, um, it's...
00:27:53Silly face.
00:27:54Dropped it outside
00:27:55on the sidewalk.
00:27:56Luckily,
00:27:57I was there
00:27:57to pick it up for her.
00:27:59Silly face.
00:28:00I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:04Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:06Those are blasters.
00:28:07That's nice.
00:28:09You can afford this
00:28:10on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:12Well, believe it or not,
00:28:13Miss Smith,
00:28:14there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:16And I'm not just talking
00:28:17about William.
00:28:18I'll drink to that.
00:28:20I agree with you there.
00:28:21So come on, guys.
00:28:23Let's eat.
00:28:23Come on.
00:28:24And this is where
00:28:37y'all will be staying.
00:28:39I have another room
00:28:40set up for Piper.
00:28:42Nice and festive for you.
00:28:44No complications, right?
00:28:46Sorry, honey.
00:28:47Uh, mom,
00:28:48you know what?
00:28:48I should stay
00:28:49with Piper tonight.
00:28:50Oh, honey.
00:28:51Newlyweds
00:28:52shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:55Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:57The city's turning
00:28:57the water off at 10.
00:28:59Something about
00:28:59water conservation.
00:29:01That means you have
00:29:0115 minutes to shower.
00:29:0315 minutes?
00:29:05Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:06Just shower together.
00:29:09Shower together?
00:29:13Just shower together.
00:29:14Okay, you guys.
00:29:15Have a good night, okay?
00:29:18Oh, you heard her.
00:29:42Oh, whoa!
00:29:44Why are you stripping?
00:29:46Well, I can't take a shower
00:29:47and my clothes on.
00:29:49Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:50You have 15 minutes.
00:29:51Nice try.
00:29:52I am not showering with you.
00:29:54All right, suit yourself.
00:29:55More room for me in there.
00:29:57Not if I meet you there first.
00:29:58Come on, Max.
00:30:16Get out of the way.
00:30:18We agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:20You're the one with
00:30:21the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:22Relax.
00:30:23I won't touch you
00:30:24unless you say
00:30:26you want me to.
00:30:29But that'll cost extra.
00:30:40In your dreams.
00:30:42Free to join me.
00:30:43You know, if you keep staring at my ass,
00:31:05you're not going to have me shower
00:31:06while you're left.
00:31:07You wish.
00:31:08Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:10Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:11It's you who has to worry
00:31:13about resisting me.
00:31:15Oh, yeah?
00:31:16True.
00:31:28Holy shit.
00:31:32This is going to be harder
00:31:36than I thought.
00:31:36I'll say.
00:31:38What happened to all that
00:31:39cool guy confidence?
00:31:42Still think you can lose this?
00:31:45Baby.
00:31:46I don't think I want you.
00:31:53Max, I shut it up.
00:31:57Or maybe we should.
00:31:59God, he's such a good kisser.
00:32:01Why does this feel so
00:32:03familiar?
00:32:10Oh, we're so sexy.
00:32:21Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:23What?
00:32:24I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:26It's not you, Max.
00:32:27It's us.
00:32:28It's this.
00:32:28This is all an act.
00:32:29Let's not make it more
00:32:30complicated than it is.
00:32:32You're right.
00:32:35I'm sorry.
00:32:36I just don't need to be sorry.
00:32:38Just...
00:32:46That birthmark.
00:32:52What is that?
00:32:53It's him.
00:32:56The man from New Year's.
00:32:57Is he...
00:32:58Piper's father?
00:33:02Why are you acting?
00:33:06Oh, my God.
00:33:07Max is Piper's father.
00:33:10Are you okay?
00:33:11Yeah.
00:33:12I just, um...
00:33:14I just got lightheaded.
00:33:15I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:17Alone.
00:33:20Of course.
00:33:20We have a daughter together.
00:33:25Oh, my God.
00:33:27What do I do?
00:33:34I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
00:33:36You can take the bed.
00:33:38Thanks.
00:33:40Hey.
00:33:42Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:44Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:45I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:47So, if there's something you need,
00:33:49I can help.
00:33:51I want to help.
00:33:53He's Piper's father.
00:33:54He has a right to know.
00:33:56Um, Max?
00:33:59How would you feel
00:34:01if you found out
00:34:02you had a kid?
00:34:03A child?
00:34:08No, no, no.
00:34:09That's impossible.
00:34:10I'm very careful.
00:34:13Mostly.
00:34:15I just mean I'm not the type of guy
00:34:17to sleep around.
00:34:18Family, to me,
00:34:19is a big commitment.
00:34:20And I don't want any loose ends.
00:34:23You know?
00:34:24Right.
00:34:26He wouldn't want a kid
00:34:27tying him down.
00:34:28I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:31Why do you ask?
00:34:33No reason.
00:34:34Just...
00:34:35Just curious.
00:34:36No, I...
00:34:36I feel like you're
00:34:37going somewhere with this.
00:34:39What?
00:34:41No.
00:34:42Well, then,
00:34:43can I ask you a question?
00:34:45Shoot.
00:34:51Where did you get these?
00:34:52And how did you know
00:34:53my exact size?
00:34:55I did not get those.
00:34:57I don't know
00:34:57where those came from.
00:34:58Are you sure
00:34:59you're just not trying
00:35:00to break the contract?
00:35:05Stop coming.
00:35:06Come.
00:35:06Come.
00:35:07Woo!
00:35:07Woo!
00:35:18Elon,
00:35:19the truth is
00:35:21is that I...
00:35:23Go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:27Just a second.
00:35:27Come in.
00:35:30Hey, hon.
00:35:42Oh!
00:35:43Sorry for interrupting,
00:35:44but Piper is asking
00:35:46for a bedtime story
00:35:47before I tuck her in.
00:35:48Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:35:50We're kind of in the middle
00:35:51of something.
00:35:52I can see that.
00:35:53Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:56I mean, if you don't...
00:35:57If you don't mind.
00:35:58Well, atta boy.
00:36:00You know what?
00:36:00Just put a shirt on.
00:36:02I'm gonna go get her.
00:36:03Piper!
00:36:04Here comes Grandpa!
00:36:05He sprang to his sleigh
00:36:09to his team
00:36:10gave a whistle
00:36:11and away they all flew
00:36:13like the down of a thistle
00:36:14but I heard him exclaim
00:36:16as he drove out of sight
00:36:18Merry Christmas to all
00:36:20and to all
00:36:22a good night.
00:36:26If Piper knew
00:36:27he was her real dad
00:36:28she'd be over the moon.
00:36:30Good night, Piper.
00:36:35Is her dad still around?
00:36:37Yeah, but he doesn't know it
00:36:39because you're her dad.
00:36:42Uh, no.
00:36:43That man has no idea
00:36:45what a treasure
00:36:46he's missing out on.
00:36:51Do you really think so?
00:36:53From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:56Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:57He deserves to know.
00:36:59Max.
00:37:09You're
00:37:09Piper's father.
00:37:18I'll tell you
00:37:18when the time's right.
00:37:19I'll tell you
00:37:19when the time's right.
00:37:29Where's Piper?
00:37:46She must have snuck off
00:37:47while we were asleep.
00:37:48God, he's such a good kisser.
00:38:06Just gonna kiss and run?
00:38:17Not on my watch.
00:38:22Yeah, this.
00:38:23I remember this.
00:38:35Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:38How was your stay
00:38:39at Chateau Smith?
00:38:41Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:42It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:44Wonderful.
00:38:45Well, it's about to get
00:38:46even better.
00:38:49Oh, no.
00:38:50What is that?
00:38:51Sardines and saltines.
00:38:53It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:55It was my
00:38:55Graham Graham's favorite
00:38:56during wartime.
00:38:58Don't be shy.
00:38:58Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:39:01Max, you don't have to.
00:39:03No, no.
00:39:03It's okay.
00:39:04It's a...
00:39:05Smith family staple.
00:39:06Oh, there we go.
00:39:16Yeah.
00:39:17Yeah.
00:39:26Good?
00:39:27Mmm.
00:39:28Good?
00:39:29Scrunchy.
00:39:31Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:33You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:36Could I, um...
00:39:38Could I have some water, please?
00:39:39That means there's no escaping
00:39:40Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:43What's the deal with them?
00:39:44Every year, Aunt Miranda
00:39:46bullies Piper and I.
00:39:47Says Piper's a fatherless brat
00:39:49and I'm...
00:39:50Hey, don't worry.
00:39:53I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:57Better have Sam on standby tonight.
00:39:59Just in case.
00:40:01Well, looks like it's time
00:40:03to get dressed up then.
00:40:06Wait, that earring.
00:40:18Wait, that earring.
00:40:20You like it?
00:40:22I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:24Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:27I don't really remember the details,
00:40:29but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:32Right.
00:40:34Yeah, it's just a common earring.
00:40:36Anyone could have it.
00:40:37Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:39She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:41So Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:48But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:50What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:54An aging single mom.
00:40:57Slim pickings.
00:40:58I heard he's in waste management.
00:41:00That explains it.
00:41:02She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:41:04Oh, please, Miranda.
00:41:06Look, Ava is your niece.
00:41:08Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:41:10Everyone knows Ava had a kid
00:41:12with a random one-night stand.
00:41:14Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:16Exactly.
00:41:16Not like my Sierra.
00:41:18Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:23Oh, they're here.
00:41:26Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:27Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:34Merry Christmas.
00:41:36You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:38I am.
00:41:39I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:41:41Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:42Welcome.
00:41:42You're Ava's husband.
00:41:44But you're gorgeous.
00:41:48But not as handsome as you.
00:41:51Look at you two.
00:41:52You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:54Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:56Merry Christmas.
00:41:57This is for Max and I.
00:41:59Oh, my goodness.
00:42:00Thank you, Eva.
00:42:01Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:42:03Oops.
00:42:04Oh, my bad.
00:42:05Oh, a homemade gift.
00:42:08How thrifty.
00:42:10Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:42:12Mommy's right.
00:42:13You mean, I'll hack.
00:42:15You little.
00:42:17You will not lay a hand on my daughter,
00:42:20or you will lose yours.
00:42:22Oh, I think you broke my wrist.
00:42:25Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:27My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:30He could ruin your life.
00:42:44Mommy, are you okay?
00:42:46I'm fine.
00:42:47I'm just wet, huh?
00:42:48Yeah.
00:42:48It's okay.
00:42:49It's okay.
00:42:52What are you?
00:42:54Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:57Did you just slap me?
00:42:59Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:43:01You're a fucking psycho.
00:43:03You know what, Sierra?
00:43:03I can take your little insults,
00:43:05but leave my family out of this.
00:43:09Her family.
00:43:11She needs me.
00:43:11You okay, honey?
00:43:18Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:43:20Do something.
00:43:21You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:23I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:26Oh, wow.
00:43:26I'm sure the CEO would love to hear
00:43:29that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:32Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:35Let's call him.
00:43:36I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:39Please.
00:43:40Who do you think you are?
00:43:42Enough!
00:43:44There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:48Fine, Dad.
00:43:49Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:51They're just jealous.
00:43:54For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:56I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:44:00I think you owe me a thank you
00:44:02for slapping some sense into you.
00:44:04Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:44:05All right, that's enough.
00:44:06Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:44:10We'll have you.
00:44:10Okay.
00:44:10We'll have you.
00:44:11Bye, now.
00:44:11Bye, now.
00:44:12Bye, now.
00:44:12Bye.
00:44:13Bye, now.
00:44:29Is this a joke?
00:44:32Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:33Hold it.
00:44:34Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:36My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:43My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:46King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:51Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:55And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:57It's just petty.
00:44:58Maybe so.
00:44:59But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:45:03Fine.
00:45:05Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:45:07Come on, let's go.
00:45:08No, no.
00:45:09Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:45:13Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:45:15I know, dear.
00:45:17I just want to have our family together.
00:45:19Fine.
00:45:20We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:22Better a stray than a bitch.
00:45:24What was that?
00:45:25I just want to have our family together.
00:45:31Fine.
00:45:32We'll stay.
00:45:33Can I have a little napole?
00:45:36It's OK, sweetie.
00:45:37We'll get something right after.
00:45:39Like drive-through?
00:45:41I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:44That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:49No strays.
00:45:50Ow.
00:45:50Sweetie, sweetie, are you OK?
00:45:52Yes, I'm fine.
00:45:53You hit my child.
00:45:55You're fucking crazy.
00:45:56Well, if you teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:46:04Don't worry, baby.
00:46:05I'll handle it.
00:46:09Don't worry, baby.
00:46:10I'll handle it.
00:46:14Piper.
00:46:15Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food
00:46:18you've ever had in your life?
00:46:22OK, sweetheart.
00:46:23Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:46:25As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:46:28Actually, I do.
00:46:30He's such a liar.
00:46:32This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:33Oh, it will be.
00:46:37Sam.
00:46:39Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:42I'm already on my way.
00:46:44Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:45I'm already on my way.
00:46:46You hear this guy?
00:46:47He wants the best king crab in the world from Antarctica.
00:46:49Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:46:50His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:46:51Max, what are you doing?
00:46:52Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:46:53Santa's already on his way.
00:46:54Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:46:59A helicopter?
00:47:00Oh, God.
00:47:01There's no way you can.
00:47:03I don't think it's him.
00:47:04I don't know.
00:47:05Oh, God.
00:47:06Oh, God.
00:47:07Oh, God.
00:47:08I get why you married him, Eva.
00:47:09his way. Actually, five, four, three, two, one. A helicopter? There's no way.
00:47:33How did you pull this off? Sam is like family. I thought I'd introduce you to.
00:47:37Thanks, boss. Boss? Eva's always been genuine with me. Maybe it's time she knew who I really
00:47:44am. Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth. I'm Maximus Harrison. You're the
00:47:53CEO of Harrison Group? Come on. You can stop kidding around. If you were the CEO, why would
00:48:04you be here pretending to be my husband? No, I actually am the CEO. Come on. You can
00:48:09stop the charade. Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it? Eva,
00:48:14I'm not pretending. Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:48:21How is this possible? This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef? Who
00:48:39are you? I told you, I'm Eva's husband. That chef called him Mr. Harrison. Wait, no, hold on.
00:48:48What? You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group? You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:56Hmm. Some of the small ones. I mean, you know that. You work for me.
00:49:01Oh, God. I insulted my own boss. I'm finished.
00:49:10Oh, God. I insulted my own boss. I'm finished.
00:49:15Didn't think Max would commit this hard. Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move. Worth every penny
00:49:20I'm paying him.
00:49:21For tonight, your feast ends. And with that, your career. You're fired.
00:49:28Fired?
00:49:29Sam?
00:49:34Fired? Oh, God. I can't be fired.
00:49:38What? Mr. Harrison, please. You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:43Please, Mr. Harrison, I'll do anything.
00:49:46Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:48And you.
00:49:54Oh, me?
00:49:56Mr. Harrison, come on. That was a Christmas joke. A family tradition.
00:50:01Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:50:04Sam?
00:50:09Will you do me the honors?
00:50:10Gladly.
00:50:16Merry Christmas, Aunt Lina.
00:50:20Father, do something.
00:50:23Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:25I'm leaving.
00:50:27Mmm, pumpkin, my favorite.
00:50:28Ha, ha, ha.
00:50:29Come on, sweetie. Daddy had the scrapped line just for you. Eat as much as you want.
00:50:39Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:44I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas. I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:48Honestly, this is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:52Well, if you want, we can have many more. Just like this.
00:50:56Does he really mean that? Or is he just playing the part? I can't tell. And that terrifies me.
00:51:07Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison. I brought you a gift. Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:51:12Oh.
00:51:18Oh, this is wonderful. Sam, I have a granddaughter. Tell me everything.
00:51:25Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:51:31Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:35A high school dropout? In the Harrison family? Not a chance.
00:51:43She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:47Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:48Silence!
00:51:49Get me the address where she works.
00:51:51It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:53That's nice.
00:51:55We own that one.
00:51:56Good work.
00:51:58But take off that stupid hat.
00:52:08Thanks.
00:52:09So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:52:16Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:19And how about you?
00:52:23Me?
00:52:24Yeah.
00:52:27Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:32Eva.
00:52:32That birthmark.
00:52:44Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:52:51Maximus, there's so much we don't know. So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:54Uh, no feelings, no complications. That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:59Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:53:02Max.
00:53:03Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:53:06It's cold.
00:53:08Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:53:12Max.
00:53:12I need to tell you something.
00:53:17It's something important.
00:53:19What's gotten into her?
00:53:21Is she hiding something?
00:53:23Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:26I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:31Piper is...
00:53:33Piper is...
00:53:36Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:39Sweetie.
00:53:40Oh, my gosh.
00:53:41It's unswollen.
00:53:41It must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:44Listen, you stay here with Daddy. Mommy's gonna go get a first date kit, okay?
00:53:50Come on, Piper.
00:53:54Okay, let me see.
00:53:58I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:54:02But that's not true. You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:54:07Uh...
00:54:08Daddy!
00:54:09No!
00:54:09Well...
00:54:10Well...
00:54:11Don't you dare disrespect my husband!
00:54:22Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:26Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:28Really?
00:54:28Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:30Daddy.
00:54:30You think it will scar?
00:54:37I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:41Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:43I have one, too.
00:54:45Dad.
00:54:45I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:48Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:51Really?
00:54:52No way.
00:54:53No.
00:54:54It was actually a cactus.
00:54:56But it's still cool.
00:54:58I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:55:01Piper, how long have you had that?
00:55:06My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:55:14And how old are you?
00:55:15Six.
00:55:17Six?
00:55:17That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:20Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:21Ivar, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:27What do I even say?
00:55:29And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:31Sorry, honey.
00:55:32This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:36Um, yeah.
00:55:40Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:42Ivar.
00:55:47Okay, look.
00:55:48Piper is...
00:55:54Go on.
00:56:03Must be an emergency.
00:56:06Excuse me.
00:56:08Sorry, I'm going to take this.
00:56:15Mommy, are you okay?
00:56:17Yeah.
00:56:18Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:22I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:27Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:30I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:34She's a high school dropout.
00:56:35Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:38And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:40I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:41Max.
00:56:42That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:48I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:52You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:54Your mother would take her away.
00:56:55After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:57Eva?
00:56:58I'm sorry.
00:56:58I'm sorry.
00:56:59Okay?
00:56:59Eva?
00:57:00Eva?
00:57:00Maximus?
00:57:01Are you even listening to me?
00:57:04No, mom, mom.
00:57:05Listen, I'm sorry.
00:57:06Okay?
00:57:07Eva's my wife.
00:57:08And I've made up my mind.
00:57:09I'm not leaving her.
00:57:10Eva?
00:57:12Oh, wow.
00:57:18That's so cool.
00:57:33What's your name?
00:57:34Uh, Derek, this is from, uh, Eva and I.
00:57:38Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:40Thanks, guys.
00:57:41Glad you're here.
00:57:44We got it!
00:57:45Oh!
00:57:45Oh!
00:57:46Damn, these are nice!
00:57:47Thanks!
00:57:48Grandpa, language.
00:57:50Little ears.
00:57:51Little ears.
00:57:51Little ears.
00:57:53Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:58It's in the other room by the train set.
00:58:00Here, I'll go with you.
00:58:01Remember?
00:58:02The song that we sang.
00:58:03Ready?
00:58:04Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:58:06What do we got, guys?
00:58:07Billy.
00:58:08Walking home from our house.
00:58:09Christmas Eve.
00:58:13You never told me.
00:58:17Have we met before?
00:58:23Have we met before?
00:58:25She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:29I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:34Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:45I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:46Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:47They're very common.
00:58:48I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child, no matter how I feel about him.
00:58:56Maybe.
00:58:59Are you okay?
00:59:02Were the clogs a bad idea?
00:59:05No.
00:59:06I'm fine.
00:59:08Um...
00:59:10Oh, I almost forgot.
00:59:14I got you this.
00:59:15You got me a gift, too?
00:59:17Tis the season.
00:59:18Open it.
00:59:33Gloves.
00:59:35Did you make these?
00:59:37Yeah.
00:59:38I know this is a fake marriage, but that's Christmas.
00:59:42You've already done so much for me.
00:59:43I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:47How did I feel?
00:59:49Warm, right?
00:59:51Yeah.
00:59:52Warm.
00:59:54Soft.
00:59:57Perfect.
00:59:58Thank you, Eva.
01:00:02Thank you, Eva.
01:00:04I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
01:00:08Really?
01:00:10Yeah, my mom.
01:00:11She partied all the time, and I got gifts.
01:00:15Plenty of them, but...
01:00:17I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:00:20Nothing personal.
01:00:22Well, you deserve it.
01:00:23You deserve it.
01:00:25You're a good guy.
01:00:27And...
01:00:28Someday you'll...
01:00:29Find...
01:00:30Someone special.
01:00:31To...
01:00:32Spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:34What if that day's today?
01:00:39What if I already found someone special?
01:00:43Right here.
01:00:53Max, we can't...
01:00:56If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:01:15Come on.
01:01:17I don't want you to stop.
01:01:19Come on.
01:01:21I don't want you to stop.
01:01:28No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:44It's true.
01:01:45I don't want you.
01:01:46I don't want you.
01:01:55Oh, God, you are trying to be fucking insane.
01:02:02Piper!
01:02:11Piper?
01:02:13She can't see us.
01:02:33Eva?
01:02:37Grandma, I'm up here.
01:02:42That was way too close.
01:02:52Yeah.
01:02:54We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:59Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:03:04Can I still unwrap my present?
01:03:06Eh, you still haven't given me mine.
01:03:16Let me give it to you.
01:03:49Who is calling me to serve me?
01:03:59Hello?
01:04:00Hello, Eva Smith.
01:04:02I'm Max's mother.
01:04:04Name your price.
01:04:05What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:04:08What?
01:04:09We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:04:13Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:04:16My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:04:21Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:04:25So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:32Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:38You okay?
01:04:39Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:46So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:50What are you talking about?
01:04:52It's over.
01:04:53It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:59Eva, wait!
01:04:59So last night meant nothing to you?
01:05:10Max, it's not real.
01:05:12None of it was real.
01:05:14So, it's just a goodbye?
01:05:18Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:05:20Look, last night, I let my guard down.
01:05:27But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:30And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:32Just tell me what you need.
01:05:35I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:05:39Just say the word.
01:05:40Okay.
01:05:40You don't get it.
01:05:48You don't get it.
01:05:56I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:06:03I won't give up on us.
01:06:10Are we here?
01:06:22Yes.
01:06:23As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:30Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:06:32We're home.
01:06:36How can she just walk away?
01:06:40Don't forget, you have to meet my mom.
01:06:48It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:50Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:53You promised.
01:06:55Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:57Can you do this for me, please?
01:07:00Alright, fine.
01:07:02When?
01:07:04Two days.
01:07:05I'll come pick you up.
01:07:06No need.
01:07:08Just send me the address and I'll meet you there.
01:07:10I know you and Mommy thought, but she still really likes you.
01:07:20So don't give up, okay, Daddy?
01:07:23Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:24If there's one thing you should know about your daddy, I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:29If you find me, I'm interested in the side of these shrubs.
01:07:45Just do it ten times.
01:07:48Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:51Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:53Boss?
01:07:55Boss?
01:07:55Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:08:02I need to go win back my family.
01:08:05Family?
01:08:06Boss, you okay?
01:08:07Never better.
01:08:10Go get her, Max.
01:08:11Give it your best smile.
01:08:16Ah, there he is.
01:08:19Maximus, darling.
01:08:21I have some prospects for you.
01:08:23Nice high society girls from the city.
01:08:29Oh.
01:08:29I told you.
01:08:33I already found the woman I love.
01:08:37Well...
01:08:37Maximus, stop this.
01:08:43That evil woman is scamming you, son.
01:08:46Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another.
01:08:50You are heir to the Harrison Dynasty.
01:08:53No, I'm not.
01:08:56Oh?
01:08:57I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:09:01I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father.
01:09:06What?
01:09:06Oh, that's her.
01:09:21The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:09:26Hi.
01:09:27Welcome in.
01:09:28Can I help you find something?
01:09:29I want to try those.
01:09:34Awesome.
01:09:34I'll get them for you right away.
01:09:35Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:43No, no, no.
01:09:44I know what I want.
01:09:46Size 7.
01:09:48Oh, baby can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:52Come on.
01:09:53She wants the white shoes.
01:10:00Ignore her.
01:10:01She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:10:02Here, let me help you.
01:10:04Come on.
01:10:05She seems kind.
01:10:16I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:10:18She's just doing her job.
01:10:21How do they feel?
01:10:23Well, I love the style, but it's too small.
01:10:26I think I need a size up.
01:10:28Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:33Right away.
01:10:34I'll be right back.
01:10:36She's not only kind.
01:10:37She's patient.
01:10:38Was I wrong about her?
01:10:40Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:57Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:58Well, who gives a shit?
01:11:00She can't walk.
01:11:01That's just pure evil.
01:11:07Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:11:12She's in a wheelchair.
01:11:14Who cares?
01:11:14It's the last pair.
01:11:15I get paid commission.
01:11:22I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:25See?
01:11:27This is your whole problem.
01:11:30This is why you'll always be broke.
01:11:34I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:11:37I'm not selling her junk.
01:11:40She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:42People who insult her all day?
01:11:45I'm your manager.
01:11:51Sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired.
01:12:00Did I stutter?
01:12:05You don't have to fire me.
01:12:09I quit.
01:12:15I don't work here anymore.
01:12:18Listen.
01:12:19Don't buy the shoes.
01:12:21They're broken.
01:12:22Spend your hard-earned money elsewhere, okay?
01:12:24You're a good person after all.
01:12:28Looks like I misjudged you.
01:12:30I'm sorry?
01:12:33Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:35Get out!
01:12:42You're not disabled?
01:12:43Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:48Absolutely shameful.
01:12:50Who are you?
01:12:51I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group.
01:12:55And the owner of the store.
01:12:58You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:13:00Mother of the CEO?
01:13:02I am.
01:13:03And you, my dear, are fired.
01:13:07What did I do?
01:13:08You are a good person.
01:13:13From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:13:19Are you serious?
01:13:23That's right.
01:13:25Don't be nervous, child.
01:13:27You are professional, responsible, far better than that two-bit manager.
01:13:33You, out.
01:13:39I'll leave.
01:13:42I'm leaving.
01:13:45I, I, I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:49No, don't worry.
01:13:52You're getting a promotion.
01:13:53You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:59First assignment.
01:14:00I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:14:07Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:14:10Okay.
01:14:11Yeah.
01:14:11Once we're home, I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:14:17I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:14:26She's the mother of a CEO.
01:14:28Of course she lives like this.
01:14:39Mrs. Harrison?
01:14:41I'm here with your delivery.
01:14:45Max?
01:14:46Eva.
01:14:48What are you doing here?
01:14:51I, uh...
01:14:52There you are, Eva.
01:14:55Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:14:58My new daughter-in-law.
01:15:01What are you talking...
01:15:05That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:15:07Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:15:11Stop.
01:15:13And you?
01:15:14You lied to me at the store.
01:15:17You were both just testing me?
01:15:19Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:15:21I'm sorry, Eva.
01:15:23I thought you might be using my son just after his money.
01:15:26But I was wrong.
01:15:28Eva, please.
01:15:29I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:15:31Not every working class girl is after your money.
01:15:35How could you think that of me?
01:15:36It's not like that, dear.
01:15:39Eva, what are you talking about?
01:15:41Mom, what did you do?
01:15:43I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:15:46We're not together.
01:15:48And I can't love something that was never real.
01:15:54I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:57What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:59Go after her.
01:16:03Eva.
01:16:04Let me go.
01:16:05I swear, it's not what you think.
01:16:07We come from two completely different worlds.
01:16:09Stop pretending like you care.
01:16:10I'm not pretending.
01:16:11Okay, I can't fake what we have.
01:16:14And everything I've done for you, and Piper, this is real.
01:16:21Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:16:26Max, you came.
01:16:27God, you weren't driving me fucking insane.
01:16:32I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:16:36Just say the word.
01:16:40See?
01:16:41Stop fighting.
01:16:45We belong together.
01:16:48You're wrong.
01:16:49Wrong about what?
01:16:51That you care?
01:16:53Or we belong together?
01:16:55Look, I already told you.
01:16:56We're from two completely different worlds.
01:16:59Now, I held up my end of the deal, and I met your mother, like we discussed.
01:17:03Now, I want a fake divorce from my fake cousin.
01:17:05I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:17:16Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:17:18Ow.
01:17:19Ow.
01:17:26Are you okay, Mommy?
01:17:28Yes, sweetie.
01:17:29I'm fine.
01:17:30Come here.
01:17:39No, you're not fine.
01:17:40You're sad.
01:17:41I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:47I miss Daddy, too.
01:17:51I want Max to be my real Daddy.
01:17:56Don't you want to be with him?
01:18:00Love bug.
01:18:01You're right.
01:18:03What am I doing, running like a coward?
01:18:07I've always taught you to be brave.
01:18:09Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:18:13I believe in you. What are you going to do, Mommy?
01:18:17I know exactly what to say to him.
01:18:22Maximus deserves to know, Piper is his daughter.
01:18:32Enough sulking. Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:18:36Don't you think I want to?
01:18:39She doesn't want me.
01:18:41I didn't raise you to give up.
01:18:43Your daughter is still out there.
01:18:44You can't abandon her.
01:18:46Mom, you don't get it.
01:18:48I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:18:51And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:18:55What are you talking about?
01:18:57I already ran a DNA test.
01:19:00Piper is your daughter.
01:19:02What?
01:19:03See for yourself.
01:19:04I was right.
01:19:12Seven years ago.
01:19:14New Year's, that woman was Eva.
01:19:26Eva!
01:19:27Eva!
01:19:28Hey.
01:19:30Daddy!
01:19:32Daddy!
01:19:33Piper!
01:19:34Piper!
01:19:35Oh.
01:19:37I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:19:44You came back.
01:19:48I, uh...
01:19:50Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:19:53I, uh, I was scared.
01:20:02But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:20:05Because what we have is real and it's worth fighting for.
01:20:09Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:20:13I have something to tell you, too.
01:20:14Piper is your daughter.
01:20:18Piper is your daughter.
01:20:19You knew.
01:20:20My sweet granddaughter.
01:20:22Mama!
01:20:23Oh.
01:20:26Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago.
01:20:29But you've known this whole time?
01:20:31I was scared.
01:20:32Okay, I didn't know if you were going to take her from me.
01:20:34I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:20:36How could you not know how I felt?
01:20:51I love you, Eva.
01:20:54I love you, too.
01:20:56I promise.
01:20:58For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:21:00As long as we're together, it doesn't matter where we are.
01:21:15Will you marry me, Eva?
01:21:17For real this time?
01:21:19Yes.
01:21:21Yes, of course, I'll marry you.
01:21:26Yes.
01:21:30Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas, and the Christmas after that, and forever.
01:21:42I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:21:49Who's that?
01:21:51Eva!
01:21:54Take me back!
01:21:57I'm sorry, I'm sure I'm tired.
01:22:00Ah!
01:22:02Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:22:05Again.
01:22:08No?
01:22:09Not funny?
01:22:10Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
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