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Taskmaster - Season 20 Episode 100 - Special My Ultimate Episode - James Acaster
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00:00Once upon a time
00:29The season that is new today
00:32Was old
00:33And closed
00:34And packed away
00:35Advent had erupted into Christmas
00:39Darkness retreated
00:41In the face of light
00:42And the wheel of the year
00:44Kept turning
00:46But once again we gather
00:49As the sky grows cold
00:52The leaves have tumbled
00:54The fresh snow falls
00:56Pages turn
00:59As new doors open
01:01Time and time
01:03And time again
01:04Merry Christmas bread
01:06Merry Christmas
01:07Medical supplies packed and labelled
01:13And ready for hand delivery
01:14To the brunch house
01:16A biscuit's clinic?
01:18You think you should write on it in Chinese?
01:20Hong Kong is a British colony
01:22I'm quite sure everyone is competent
01:24In our mother tongue
01:25I detect a want of enthusiasm
01:28In your visit
01:29When adventure beckons
01:32You should embrace the couple
01:34This trip is a wonderful opportunity
01:37For Violet to see her son
01:39And the sisters at the clinic
01:41Will be so grateful for these supplies
01:43I'll just be glad of a chance
01:45To run an errand
01:45If I'm honest with you
01:46Sister Julian
01:47There's talk of
01:49Cocktail parties
01:51We were all a bear-nose rainders
01:55Had a bear shiny nose
01:58And if you ever saw it
02:02You would even say it blows
02:05All of the other rainders
02:09Used to laugh and call him names
02:12Kevin, I've told you before
02:15Stay inside the lines
02:18The lines represent the edges of the lorry
02:23You too, Teddy
02:26We don't want you falling off the float
02:28And getting run over
02:29Do you think they're going to need bigger rolls
02:32For their mouths, Mrs Turner?
02:34I'm worried that they're going to be deprived of oxygen
02:36Oh, please, please
02:39Don't anyone stop singing on my account
02:42We love the red-nose rainders
02:44Hello, Diane
02:44You're good and in history
02:47Oh, now, Pack, what do we say
02:55When a very important lady
02:57Like Mrs Buckle, our mayor
02:59Is kind enough to come and visit us?
03:02Good evening, Mrs Buckle
03:05Thank you, Pack
03:06Now, off you pop and work on your knots
03:09It's all set out on the tables
03:11One piece of cord
03:13Between two
03:14I've bought a dozen pairs of brown tights for the reindeer
03:19I managed to get them on a special order
03:22But you'll not get lads of this age to wear tights, Mrs Buckle
03:26Well, you'll have to tell them that it's in a good course
03:28I mean, the whole Christmas carnival is in a good course
03:32Um, elastic
03:34Black felt squares
03:37Um, sleigh bells
03:39And WD-40
03:42What's that for?
03:43To oil the sled runners?
03:45Fred needs to do the paper shop bell before we leave
03:48Mrs Buckle, go
03:50Go to Hong Kong
03:52And do not give the Christmas carnival a second thought
03:56Oh, Mrs Buckle
04:08I'm sorry
04:09Oh
04:10I'm sorry, Mrs Turner
04:11I'm not quite sure which way is up this evening
04:14I wondered if you could take a tiny parcel to Hong Kong for me
04:18It's a letter and some photographs for May's mother
04:22We haven't heard from her for over a year
04:25But the sisters say they still see her from time to time with her little boy
04:30Of course, I'll take it
04:31It must all be, well, such a worry
04:34I used to fret about my Derek when he was in the Navy
04:38But now he's in the Hong Kong police
04:40They have to wear guns, Mrs Turner
04:44It makes me nervous
04:46You'll be back by Christmas with wonderful memories
04:50And we've got Reggie coming home
04:52I'm already hoping that it will be snowing for him
04:55Whoever guesses
04:59The mystery ingredient in this year's chutney
05:02Gets to eat the first mince pie and make a wish
05:04I'm getting definite top notes
05:07Of tamarind
05:08Have you been on another cooking course?
05:11No, Matthew took her to Antigua for their wedding anniversary
05:14It's mango
05:16Yes!
05:20It's good to hear you're moving back to London, lass
05:23Matthew has to stay in New York until autumn
05:25And Jonti's starting pre-prep at Easter
05:28I needed to get him home and settled
05:31Sister Julianne, I will be free for midwifery duty
05:35Should you be short-staffed
05:36We very seldom are at present
05:39Things have been remarkably quiet
05:41I have offered her a receptionist role
05:43At my new osteopathy practice on Harley Street
05:45But no dice, apparently
05:47You're only there four hours a week
05:48Nevertheless, his couch sees a constant parade of celebrities
05:52By all accounts
05:53Celebrities!
05:55Coming to you with their crooked necks
05:56I hope you're going to them names
05:58Professional discretion is my watchword
06:01Have a mince pie
06:02Fred!
06:11Have you seen the time?
06:13We're gonna miss the plane!
06:14The party was running late
06:15And I didn't want to disappoint the kiddies
06:17Get in the cab
06:18You can change out who's got costume on the way
06:21Deadly temes
06:23Door
06:25Baby
06:29There are cars
06:33You can change out who's got costume on the way
06:36There are cars
06:40Consistent
06:40Put your bus
06:42There's cars
06:45Please, let me knock my hanky and put it on my head, Vi.
07:03No, we'll get you a nice, smart Panama hat
07:07as soon as we've left these parcels with the sisters.
07:09We're looking for a sign that says Hibiscus Street.
07:16Derek says it should be written in Chinese as well as English.
07:32There it is.
07:39The burning has collapsed. Stay back, please.
07:52The burning has collapsed. Please stay back.
07:56Kiddow.
07:56There must be fatalities.
08:17I'm sorry to intercept you, sister,
08:26but Mrs. Buckel has just telephoned from Hong Kong.
08:31It's about the branch house.
08:35How on earth can an entire building just collapse?
08:38I've never heard of anything so colonial.
08:40There were rumours that the ground in that area was unstable.
08:43But whatever the cause, it's the consequences that are truly shocking.
08:49Sister Alice and Sister David were both killed.
08:51Oh, no.
08:52Along with the doctor who worked with them.
08:54Some of the children in the nursery did not survive.
08:57Meanwhile, the maternity ward has been destroyed.
09:01The sisters are homeless.
09:02And the people who depend upon them are scattered across Kowloon.
09:06Once they have overcome this,
09:08they will need somewhere to live and carry on their work.
09:11Now, they need a doctor.
09:13They need nurses.
09:15And they need midwives.
09:16In short, Sister.
09:18They need us.
09:23I keep thinking we should be making Christmas trees for the carnival,
09:26not palm trees.
09:28The theme of the float is a Caribbean Christmas.
09:31There's going to be a still band playing carols
09:34and a gospel choir.
09:36Lord...
09:37Are these the palm trees?
09:43Mm-hmm.
09:44I'm starting to think we should be making jacarandas.
09:47So,
09:48what's this letter you want to talk to me about?
09:54If ten days on the ground in Hong Kong
09:56means that we can get them through this crisis,
09:58I am more than happy to put a locum in the surgery.
10:02And, Sister Veronica,
10:03you must go.
10:04You were three years at that branch house.
10:06You're the only one with even a glancing knowledge
10:08of the way things work out there.
10:10I will go wherever I'm told.
10:12I will do whatever I'm told.
10:14Very well.
10:15Dr. Turner will go,
10:16as will Nurse Crane,
10:18Sister Veronica,
10:19and myself.
10:20So, this man,
10:23this Mr. Fisher,
10:25who writes with an educated hand
10:27from an address in Belgravia,
10:29wants to rent this flat
10:31with immediate effect.
10:33For a period of time
10:33that he is unable to specify
10:35for an amount
10:37that we are free to name.
10:39You'll call me ruthless if you want to.
10:41But, Pastor Robinson,
10:43what I make of it
10:45is money for the church.
10:47Running a church
10:48is always going to cost somebody something.
10:49I'll find somewhere else
10:51to lay my head for who you got to.
10:53The truth is,
10:54I'm more worried about me
10:55missing you over there
10:56than I am about me
10:57being missed over here.
10:59You were vital to everything
11:01when we were in South Africa.
11:02And I came home with Teddy on the way.
11:06Look, Timothy is quite old enough
11:08to hold the fort
11:09if you came to Hong Kong.
11:12He's home on study leave for a month.
11:14Patrick, I'm needed here.
11:19That's the last box,
11:21Miss Higgins.
11:25Dr. Elise Watkiss
11:27is our first choice
11:28for locum cover.
11:30She's young,
11:30but has excellent GP experience.
11:32I will attend
11:33to the necessary paperwork.
11:35Timothy,
11:36you might call the pharmacy
11:37regarding the export forms
11:38whilst I see to this.
11:40Yes, Miss Higgins.
11:41The posters have turned out
11:42an absolute treat.
11:44I found a photo
11:45that must have been taken years ago
11:47and you'll never guess what.
11:48You can see it clear as day
11:50now it's blown up life-size.
11:52Look at that.
11:54Mum, look.
11:55Oh, it's me
11:56as a baby.
11:59Before we even knew her,
12:01I would recognise her
12:03anywhere.
12:04Come on, ladies.
12:06Dig as deep as you can.
12:07Merry Christmas.
12:09Thank you very much.
12:10Every penny counts.
12:12Don't be shy.
12:21Some of these clothes
12:22are ours, Mum.
12:23Yes.
12:23I went up into the loft
12:25and there were bags
12:25full of woolies
12:26that went back years.
12:29This was mine.
12:30I remember this.
12:32You had it
12:33when you first arrived
12:34from China.
12:37Would you rather
12:38we didn't send it off?
12:40The radio reporter says
12:42ready when you are.
12:46Ten-year-old May Turner
12:47has a special reason
12:48for helping with the appeal today.
12:49Can you tell the listeners
12:50what it is, May?
12:52I was born there.
12:55A photograph of May
12:56aged 12 months
12:58and held safely
12:59in the arms
13:00of a Nunatus nun
13:01features on posters
13:02for the rescue mission.
13:03As the Nunatus sisters
13:04are popular,
13:05headies to help.
13:07Do you have a message
13:07for people listening, May?
13:08Please give all you can
13:15because
13:19some of the children
13:24there have nothing.
13:25Sister Hilda will be joining
13:32the Nunatus party
13:33at Heathrow.
13:34At least that's only one
13:35plane we have to meet, Fred.
13:38Derek,
13:39you're eating
13:40the lime marmalade.
13:42I'm not going to lie to you.
13:43I've laid awake
13:44at night
13:44dreaming of this stuff.
13:46Thanks for bringing it.
13:47And the mustard.
13:48Proper taste of home.
13:49It's even got
13:50English written on the tin.
13:52Fred and I were wondering
13:53about popping over
13:54to Kowloon
13:55to see if there's anything
13:57we can take
13:57the poor sisters.
13:58Mum,
13:59Kowloon isn't the East End.
14:01Nobody pops over there.
14:03Not to that bit of it, anyway.
14:05Hibiscus Street
14:05is about as dodgy
14:06as it gets.
14:07Drugs,
14:08prostitution,
14:09smuggling.
14:09It makes you wonder
14:10why the sisters
14:11are so keen
14:12to stay there.
14:13It's the same
14:13as popular,
14:14isn't it?
14:15Bad things happen.
14:16Good people
14:16saw you out.
14:17Best people in the world
14:18couldn't sort Triad out.
14:19What is Triad,
14:21Derek?
14:22Organised crime.
14:23It's invisible
14:24and it's everywhere.
14:26Oh.
14:28I got used to Tim
14:29not being here
14:30because he's
14:30at medical school.
14:32What I can't get used to
14:34is him not being here
14:34because he's in the pub.
14:38Mum and Dad.
14:39You should be in bed,
14:43Tillie Mint.
14:44We've been talking.
14:45It's very late.
14:47We've all been talking
14:48and we all want you
14:49to go to Hong Kong, Mum.
14:52Do you?
14:53Yes.
14:54And I want you
14:55to take this.
15:06And that was confirmation
15:07that you can refer
15:09any health visitor business
15:10over to Miss Haynes
15:11at the Stepney Clinic.
15:13If I say so myself,
15:14the plan is impregnable.
15:16You, meanwhile,
15:16are the only one
15:17I trust with my Rolodex.
15:19I will guard it
15:20with my life.
15:21And Nurse Aylwood
15:22considers herself
15:23on call at any time
15:24should you require
15:26her support
15:26with any administration.
15:28I'm also available
15:28for midwifery duty.
15:30You only have to
15:30pick up the phone.
15:32It's most unlikely
15:33that it will come to that.
15:34This is a mercy mission.
15:41It's also a mercy dash
15:42and we'll be home soon.
15:44By the time we all
15:45gather here again,
15:48we will have left
15:49our friends in Hong Kong
15:50in a place of hope
15:53and of comfort
15:55and of joy.
15:56thank you,
15:58all of you,
16:00for helping us
16:01to help them.
16:21I am reminded of
16:23spit fires streaming overhead.
16:26Disguise and fights
16:29half known
16:30but undetermined.
16:34They'll all be home
16:35by Christmas.
16:37That was our motto
16:39in a different war.
16:50I still don't like
16:52the idea of you
16:52living in a bed seat
16:54like you'd just
16:55come off the boat.
16:56It's a better bed
16:57sit than I had
16:58in those days.
16:59It's got fitted carpets
17:00and hot water.
17:01Oh, you are I take it,
17:04a pastor C.A. Robinson,
17:05Ah, you, I take it, are Pastor C.A. Robinson, of the Shining Tabernacle Church of God?
17:33And you must be Mr. Fisher. Please, come in.
17:41We got rid of the electric meter to stop the lights going out when people were testifying.
17:46And this is the bedroom.
17:49We put up thick curtains so the trains won't bother you in the night.
18:03Well, the trains won't bother me at any time of day.
18:07Any time of day.
18:37I thought you'd be saying lords in your room, Sister Monica Joan.
18:53In Hong Kong, they will be saying the afternoon office.
18:58And the sun does not vary, no matter from which corner of the globe we offer up our praise.
19:05I shall raise my voice with yours.
19:10And theirs.
19:12And even from the north, who have made heaven and earth.
19:20He will not suffer thy thought to be human.
19:25And he has keepeth thee and not sleep.
19:30Praise the Lord.
19:38Praise the Lord.
19:42Praise the Lord.
19:50Praise the Lord.
20:05Praise the Lord.
20:07The thing is, Doctor Turner, you just have to keep your nerve.
20:12I haven't lost my nerve, Fred.
20:15I have lost sight of the van containing all of the medical supplies and the donations.
20:20I told the driver at the airport I said they were to follow immediately behind us.
20:25I wonder what you were saying.
20:27You sounded commendably forceful.
20:29We just have to hope you said what you thought you said.
20:32If we have any problems whatsoever, my Derek has told me which police station to go to and to use his name.
20:42That's one of our sisters.
20:58Sister Eve!
21:03I greet you in Lord Jesus Christ's name.
21:07We greet you likewise.
21:12There is much to be considered.
21:22Seven day.
21:23I have them upstairs.
21:26Sick nun.
21:27Sick children.
21:28And we could not be more grateful.
21:32See that term Cantonese?
21:35I know.
21:36Not important.
21:38Trouble.
21:38I know also you have trouble.
21:42Come.
21:42Help.
21:54We can't all be living here.
22:00Onward.
22:01I can hear the child crying.
22:09I believe Sister Simon will need to go to hospital and have her wrist reset under anaesthetic.
22:28And I suspect Sister Prudence has a broken collarbone.
22:33We're going to have to stand them all down and send them for hospital treatment.
22:36When did the diarrhea start?
22:41Before the cough or after?
22:43Doctor, I know what ails me.
22:46I have tuberculosis.
22:48Are you sure?
22:50Would you simply fear it?
22:52Miliary tuberculosis.
22:54The worst kind.
22:56Tuberculosis is so very contagious.
22:58It has spread from my lungs throughout my body.
23:01I have little time left to live.
23:04When were you diagnosed?
23:06The day the clinic collapsed.
23:09I was told by our doctor, Dr. Lee.
23:13I took myself out for a walk whilst she arranged for me to go to a sanatorium.
23:19And when I returned, there was no clinic and no doctor.
23:29No bed in a sanatorium.
23:32And no choice but to carry on handling the children.
23:41Oh, oh.
23:43Your kind, nurse.
23:51Just doing my job, love.
23:55At least the main treatment for pre-eclampsia is bed rest.
23:59Both these ladies have had that.
24:01Rudimentary though the beds may be.
24:04Once we've unpacked,
24:05I'll ask them to oblige me with some samples and get the dipsticks out.
24:09This is infected.
24:14I don't think it's been properly cleaned.
24:16Is it any wonder we're them all huddled up here without even the barest essentials?
24:21Not to mention ignoring their own injuries.
24:24If you ask me,
24:25the sisters work miracles enough
24:27just keeping everyone alive.
24:32And now it's our turn.
24:34This place reminds me of a cash and carry.
24:37There must be a gross of tin bamboo shoots in this box
24:41and enough soy sauce to float about with it.
24:45Do you reckon Mrs Marr would mind if we move stuff about?
24:48We'll have to ask her, Fred.
24:50I know she's a Christian convert
24:53and she has been very accommodating,
24:55but these are her premises.
24:57I need the labelled crates and medical supplies, Fred.
25:01We have to run urgent TB tests on everyone.
25:03Over here, Doc.
25:04Excellent.
25:06Excellent.
25:06No.
25:07No.
25:07No, no, no, no.
25:14These have been forced open.
25:19It's all gone.
25:23Is that the new Vista Sanatorium?
25:26M'goy,
25:26I have a very sick lady who requires urgent admission.
25:31You have been charity itself, Mrs Marr.
25:36I'll hold it.
25:37You took the sisters in
25:38and gave them food and shelter.
25:40Only to your rescue.
25:42You are rescue.
25:43Now you're all gone.
25:44But we have nowhere else to go.
25:46But we have nowhere else to go.
25:47We will find a new clinic.
25:50We will find a new convent.
25:51But we cannot do that today.
25:54It's not safe.
25:56Why is it not safe?
25:57Why is it not safe?
26:02You stay.
26:04Stay now.
26:05But go soon.
26:07And use back door, not front.
26:08Linnata's house.
26:17Ridworth speaking.
26:18Can I bring my wife to the maternity home, please?
26:21Of course, sir.
26:22What name is it?
26:24She says what name?
26:27Diane Mary Edgar!
26:29Diane Mary Edgar!
26:31I made myself a cup of coffee, Miss Higgins.
26:37Do you want?
26:38Uh, thank you.
26:39I generally keep myself in check until 11 is.
26:44Your white coat should be hanging on the back of the door of the consulting room.
26:47Would you like me to fetch it?
26:48It's fine.
26:49I don't need it yet.
26:51We've got bad coughs coming in at half past nine,
26:53in ten past ten, and at eleven,
26:55all in the over-50 age group.
26:57Have these patients been referred to the East London Chest Clinic?
26:59I'm sure they have,
27:01if Dr Turner considers that appropriate.
27:03Excellent.
27:05I'll have a quick rummage through their notes, just to make sure.
27:08The files are through here, aren't they?
27:09They are indeed.
27:10No fluids in the filing room, if you'd be so kind.
27:25Perfect work.
27:27We certainly know what you're doing.
27:29Oh, I feel terrible about bringing those reindeer heads.
27:32I'd have never got them finished otherwise.
27:35Good morning.
27:36May I help you?
27:37My name's Queenie Forsythe.
27:38My daughter's in child bed.
27:40We arrived last night.
27:41That's six massive pushes I've done now.
27:47It's not budging, nurse.
27:50Let's get you back on the bed,
27:52and then I can examine you.
27:54We'll soon have a better idea of your progress.
27:56I'm telling you now, there hasn't been any.
27:59This one's not playing the same game as my others.
28:01Midwine's calling.
28:15Oh, my!
28:17Midwife's calling.
28:21Good gracious, it's like the first day of the sales in here.
28:24Can we open one of those windows and let it a bit of air?
28:27How long have you been feeling that you need to push, child?
28:30I don't know. Every time they yell at me to push, I try.
28:35Five hours. Five hours, she's been at it.
28:39Okay, honey. Until we know what's what, you must not push. Do you hear me?
28:44You must not push.
28:46I am not a bossy woman, but I am being bossy now.
28:53How much did your other babies weigh, Diane?
28:55Seven pound six and eight pound nine.
28:57Darren was like giving birth to a sofa.
28:59This one feels like a ruddy three-piece suite and a coffee table.
29:03I think baby might be on the bonnie side,
29:06but I don't think he's read the book that tells him how to line up nicely for delivery.
29:11Doctor, could you pop across and speak to Dr. Watkiss?
29:16It's R-O-T.
29:22A right occipitotransverse.
29:24I'm quite a big baby.
29:26But my dad, Dr. Turner, always attends in the event of any transverse position.
29:31Well, I'd better come through then.
29:35That poor girl started pushing long, long before she was ready.
29:38Has she damaged her cervix?
29:39It's not torn, but it's so swollen I can actually see it at the entrance to her vagina.
29:44No, baby's going to get through that unless we bring that swelling down.
29:50We need ice.
29:51Ice?
29:52I think I saw a refrigerator.
29:55If we don't make this work, she'll need a cesarean section.
29:59Diane, don't cry.
30:02There are all sorts of things we can do to get things moving.
30:05Would Dr. Turner try the Von Toos, do you think?
30:08No.
30:10He always uses forceps in a transverse position.
30:12In which case, we'll continue with trial of labour.
30:21We'll transfer you to St. Cuthbert's if we get no joy.
30:33Timothy, this won't do.
30:36Nanata's house.
30:37If you pursue midwives, they are all abroad.
30:40Or otherwise at large.
30:43Is there nobody there at all?
30:45Nurse Clifford has a multi-parous woman in obstructed labour.
30:49And the locum doesn't know how to use forceps.
30:51Supply the details.
30:53And I will provide the advice.
30:56You're going to be grateful to me in the long run, but I'm not going to lie to you and say this ice pack is the nicest thing you ever had slip underneath your covers.
31:05Are you allowed to have things like that?
31:11I don't get the chance, very often.
31:16It's freezing!
31:19Serves you right for being disrespectful.
31:20Diane, we need you head down and with your bottom in the air.
31:30This position will stretch your pelvic ligaments and give the baby enough room to adjust its head position.
31:36I hope you have that on good authority.
31:39The best authority you can possibly imagine.
31:44Let her have a little nap.
31:46Is there anything else wrong with her?
31:49I don't think so.
31:50But Queenie, women need skilled help when they're giving birth.
31:53Especially when it's their first.
31:55I took her to the doctor when she first knew that she'd fallen.
31:59You were up in the far north then.
32:01You should forget where you've been.
32:03I haven't decided where you're going.
32:06And besides, I went to the hospital with me last one.
32:10I wouldn't venture that again.
32:12I'll examine her.
32:14Let's hope it's worked.
32:15I just want to lie down.
32:20Baby has shifted position, Diane.
32:23All we need to do now is make things with gravity.
32:28I'm going to have to push.
32:30That's all right, Diane.
32:32You give it everything you've got.
32:34This is the bit where I'm glad I did the animal.
32:36I fear verbal instructions alone would not suffice.
32:46Verbal instruction has done more than you could possibly imagine.
32:49Baby's head is beginning to crown.
32:54The swelling has gone down, Marie.
32:56But I need you to do exactly as I say.
32:58Listen to Nurse Hyland.
33:00On the next one, I want your chin on your chest.
33:01And a slow, quiet, steady push.
33:05Slow.
33:07Slow.
33:09Quiet.
33:10Steady.
33:18We've got the head.
33:20Come on.
33:22You can do it.
33:24Keep it coming.
33:26Keep it coming.
33:27Is he a boy or a girl?
33:34I'm afraid I can't tell.
33:35I've got something in my eye.
33:40Can you see Sister Monica Joan?
33:43I can see every aspect of the miracle.
33:46You have a daughter.
33:47This stinging will end soon, Marie.
33:58Just breathe.
34:00Just breathe.
34:02And we have a head.
34:04Stand down, honey.
34:08We also have my cornea.
34:12The midwife says we need an ambulance.
34:14We need an ambulance.
34:15Oh, boy.
34:17Awww.
34:19Awww.
34:21Awww.
34:22Awww.
34:24Awww.
34:26Awww.
34:27Awww.
34:29Awww.
34:31Awww.
34:33Awww.
34:34Awww.
34:36Awww.
34:38Awww.
34:39You've a little boy, Marie
34:47I don't want him
34:49All will be well, Marie
34:51I promise you, all will be well
35:04He must be baptised
35:06Now
35:07There'll be a chaplain at the hospital, Queenie
35:09This is his home
35:10And he is not leaving his mother's arms
35:12Until he is baptised
35:13Well
35:18Dr Watkus' curriculum vitae
35:21Stated very clearly
35:23She is fully trained in obstetrics
35:25She has now revealed
35:27That in almost five years of GP practice
35:29She has only delivered two babies
35:31Neither with any complications
35:32That's the way it is these days
35:34We're all trained in obs and gynae
35:37But the expectation is that almost every baby will be born in hospital
35:40Dr Watkus wanted to continue trial of labour
35:43But we couldn't countermand her because she's more senior
35:46And next time we may not have Sister Monica Joan to call on
35:50Any wisdom I have was hard won
35:52In the days when there might have been no doctor to send for
35:56We were wise out of necessity
35:58And you are skilled in your own right
36:03Nevertheless
36:05I will not permit this to happen again
36:08I am sending for Nurse Elwood
36:10Lord Jesus Christ
36:16Who took little children in your arms and blessed them
36:19Hold this infant, Luke Michael
36:22In your matchless love
36:24Today and always
36:25Fill his mother and father with your peace
36:29And cherish him
36:30According to thy will
36:32Amen
36:34Amen
36:35Amen
36:35Amen
36:36I keep thinking
36:46May's mother was a nanny for a British service family
36:50Is it worth asking if the army have any record of her?
36:54She would have just been cheap casual labour
36:58After she lost her job she must have been desperate
37:03And where would desperation take you in a city of this size?
37:10We have to find out
37:12Esther Tan gave us the greatest gift we've ever had
37:16And we can't abandon her
37:19No, we can't
37:22Sister Hilda
37:30Are you lying awake for the same reason that I'm lying awake?
37:35I don't know
37:36Well
37:38I'm lying awake
37:39Because we've flown halfway around the world on a rescue mission
37:42And if we get thrown out of this place by Mrs. Marr
37:45We're going to be in as much need of rescue as anyone else
37:48Injured
37:51And the six sisters are leaving in the morning
37:54Sister Edith to the sanatorium
37:57And the other sisters to the Roman Catholic Hospital
37:59We have orphans to care for
38:02And expectant mothers
38:04Any one of whom could have caught TB
38:05And out in the street
38:08There are prostitutes and addicts who will look to ask for help
38:11I know there are
38:12But we will pray
38:14And we will wait to see what love can do
38:17Mother
38:31For baby
38:32Well, come on
38:34For baby
38:37ORGAN PLAYS
39:07I'm sorry, Miss Higgins. I've been through all of these cases,
39:25and there are at least half a dozen who should be at St Cuthbert's and not here.
39:28Oh, Mr Parry himself expressed satisfaction with our care.
39:32Good afternoon, ladies. Dr Watkiss, I presume?
39:36Nurse Aylward?
39:36Sister Aylward, as it happens, I've accepted a promotion during the absence of Dr Turner,
39:42under whom I've worked for 16 years ever since I qualified.
39:47So we have three mothers over 40, two gestational diabetes, and Maureen Santaro, I know already.
39:54She had her first set of twins with us. Second set isn't unheard of.
39:58I've never handled a multiple pregnancy, sister.
40:00Well, there's always a fast time. Dr Watkiss and I will call ourselves Cubicle 1, send them all to us, and we'll see how we do.
40:06Hello?
40:18Queenie!
40:19Have you brought Marie?
40:21She's still above in the hospital with the baby.
40:23He's after taking the antibiotics.
40:26She's doing grand.
40:26It's me that needs to see you.
40:32Are you expecting, Queenie, under this coat and having me ninth?
40:38You don't shout about it when you get to my age.
40:42But I heard what you and the other nurse was saying.
40:47I need skilled help.
40:49If you want it, we'll make sure you get it.
40:52I do want it.
40:53My last was a stillborn, even though I had it in hospital.
40:59I'm so sorry that happened to you, Queenie.
41:03But we're going to walk beside you now.
41:09I'll start by filling in your co-op card.
41:19Ooh!
41:20A tin of carnation milk, if you please.
41:26Ah, and, um, a quarter of humbugs, if you'll be so kind.
41:32Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
41:34Perhaps just two ounces.
41:35I do not consume them in any conspicuous place.
41:38You don't want them all turning sticky at the bottom of the bag?
41:41No.
41:50Oh, I thought I heard that.
41:53It catches.
41:56Isn't it?
41:56I think Mr. Buckle was supposed to oil it before he went away.
42:03He must have forgotten.
42:05But then I...
42:06I thought I'd imagined it.
42:09It catches.
42:16It's all very well and good complaining that all the people who can deliver babies have gone to Hong Kong.
42:22I'm more concerned that all the people who can sew have gone to Hong Kong.
42:25You're always waving your magic wand and producing costumes, Geoffrey.
42:29And no one's going to see the details.
42:31It's pro-carnival.
42:33Everything's going to be moving past at speed.
42:35Well, moving past.
42:37I'm an ideas man.
42:39And a contacts man.
42:40I'm not a needle and thread man.
42:41And it was not my idea to dress up the midwives of Ninata's house as angels complete with ostrich feather wings.
42:48I thought we could do it with just a bit of cotton and sticking.
42:50Like grizzling in our Christmas trees.
42:52They're palm trees.
42:54I heard rumors the sewing machine was out.
42:56Angela just tried on a spoon costume and ripped it.
43:01You look like you could do it with a snowball, honey.
43:03Do you want some maraschino cherry in it?
43:05I'll have to.
43:07What sort of wounds have they taught you to suture at medical school?
43:10Oh, well, highlights include closure of incision after two appendectomies.
43:15And I did a rugby player scalp once.
43:17Needle, thread.
43:19If you want a cocktail, you're going to have to earn it.
43:21This is not the way I intended my service to end.
43:37It's a patient in a sanatorium.
43:41You have given all you can, Sister Edith.
43:45That is enough and more.
43:48It was the children I lived for and loved the best.
43:52I remember your daughter well.
43:56May?
43:57Oh, she's ten years old now.
44:00And so many children passed through the orphanage.
44:04Hmm.
44:04I took medicine to her mother, Esther.
44:12Three months ago, she was living out on Tau Street, number 122.
44:17The number's daubed on, on the door.
44:21Sister Edith, do you think she might still be there?
44:24She was there once, and not too long ago.
44:28Beyond that, I cannot say.
44:30The sooner we are able to move into the premises,
44:52the better it will be for the people in our care.
44:54I can even overlook the pigeon infestation
44:58for a small reduction in the rent.
45:00The outpayment will be 2,000 Hong Kong dollars.
45:04The sisters have the funds for that,
45:07and there will be ongoing support
45:09from a number of private philanthropists,
45:12plus the Rotary Club of Hong Kong.
45:17Very well.
45:18We shall prepare the documentation.
45:23I'm going.
45:25Let's hope the army can help with our medical supplies.
45:27The collapse of that clinic barely made the news here.
45:31And, of course, we're delighted to assist
45:33now that we know there's a res commission on.
45:35The sisters need all the help they can get, sir.
45:37Well, it's not disinterest
45:38because buildings fall down all the time.
45:40It's avoidance.
45:42Because it's going to happen more and more.
45:44Everybody knows that, and there's nothing we can do.
45:46Because of the overcrowding.
45:48Because they just keep building upwards
45:49on insecure foundations.
45:51One misplaced mudslide could obliterate Kowloon.
45:55At least we can improve on the human side of things.
45:59Morning, Major.
46:00Morning, Corporal.
46:01I'm coming with my best party manners
46:03and a begging bowl.
46:18Really, it's extraordinarily kind of you
46:20to accompany us, Mrs. Buckle.
46:25I thought it may be necessary
46:27to tell untrue, sister.
46:30And I thought, if that was the case,
46:32then better me than you.
46:34Mrs. Buckle, have you told untruths?
46:37No.
46:39I may have slightly pre-empted one or two realities,
46:43although I'm sure the Rotary Club
46:44will be only too pleased to opt their support
46:47once I make contact and explain the situation.
46:52I don't even ask about the private philanthropists.
46:56Well, one of them is me.
46:57And I'm sure there will be others.
47:16It's not just the TB kits and penicillin
47:19I'm grateful to the Major for.
47:21It's use of the Army labs for processing the tests.
47:24Oh, it's all well and good
47:27the sisters have in faith in God.
47:30But I reckon the military beat him every time.
47:33The military is certainly better organised.
47:36Well, I suppose they have to be the same as the police,
47:37especially with all this triad malarkey.
47:41Just like the Kray Twins, and then some.
47:44I've stitched wounds inflicted by the Kray Twins.
47:47But they never bothered us.
47:50More than an artist's house.
47:52In fact, the sisters were revered.
47:55I don't reckon the triad revered the sisters here.
47:58If they did, they would help them.
48:00I think you're right.
48:02You know, violence lyric says
48:05there's somebody triad in every street
48:08that people have to answer to or pay.
48:10I'm Mrs. Maher's living in fear of someone.
48:24I'm searching for a young lady called Esther Tang.
48:28She used to live at this address
48:30and has a young boy about the same age as this little one.
48:34I wonder if you or your wife
48:43might know where she moved to?
48:46She has gone.
48:47She will not return.
48:54Miss, Miss.
48:56Esther left one week ago.
48:58Did she say where she was going?
49:00She was sick and she was afraid.
49:03Don't look for her, please.
49:05Can I ask your name?
49:08Grace, don't look.
49:24Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
49:30Let your heart be loved.
49:32From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.
49:38Merry Christmas, merry, merry Christmas.
49:42Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
49:46Make the yuletide gay.
49:50From now on, our troubles will be miles away.
49:55All your troubles will turn into bubbles.
49:58Once again, as in olden days, happy golden days of yore.
50:06Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more.
50:14Joyce, Trixie's supposed to be doing our makeup, but there's no sign of her.
50:25She's not the only one who knows what to do with a bit of eye shadow.
50:29And if she doesn't turn up on time, our float is leaving without her.
50:32Isn't it going to look a bit feeble with just the three of us?
50:35We are midwives, not the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
50:40Pack, pack, pack.
50:41You are all to visit the toilets now and come straight back here as soon as you have washed your hands.
50:49Now, Harry, who has arrived from university just in time to help us tonight,
50:56is now going to hand out cough candy to help us all with our singing.
51:00Come on!
51:01Come on!
51:04Come on, I'm on, sir.
51:05Me?
51:06I'm it, I'm it!
51:07Promise me you'll always have me home for Christmas.
51:10Please don't ask.
51:11We're going to be late, Geoffrey.
51:14If you were content with boarding a carnival float,
51:17wearing improperly attached angel wings,
51:20well, I can assure you I wasn't.
51:22Oh, for pity's sake.
51:24Pitching this pram through snow is like dicing with insanity.
51:29What's that?
51:30It's a walking stick.
51:33It's actually rather elegant.
51:35I think it's got a solid silver top.
51:38Oh, no, no, sis, I know this.
51:41This belongs to one of my Harley Street patients,
51:43Maurice Templemore.
51:44He was an enormous film star when the Torkist first came out.
51:47What's it doing here in Poplar?
51:49Also, if there's one thing I do know,
51:51if you find a walking stick lying on the ground,
51:54you're likely to find its owner nearby and lying in a similar position.
51:58Sir?
51:58No.
52:00Maurice Templemore cannot be in Poplar.
52:02I doubt he even knows where Poplar is.
52:04He must have been burgled.
52:05Sir?
52:07Sir?
52:08Oh, my.
52:09Here.
52:11I'm terribly sorry.
52:15I seem to have rather overstretched myself.
52:20Mr. Templemore.
52:22Please don't call me that.
52:24Not you.
52:37Thank you, Mr. Templemore.
53:00Merry Christmas.
53:11Merry Christmas.
53:24What are you doing in this insalubrious part of town?
53:27You're in the same insalubrious part of town.
53:30Now, you're not well.
53:32I know that because you said so when I was sorting out your fibrositis.
53:37A blood disorder, you told me.
53:39What kind of blood disorder?
53:42The malignant one.
53:44But I didn't tell him that.
53:52I was born in this flat when the paper shop was a greengrocer.
53:57My father came all the way from Russia straight off the boats.
54:02All he knew was beets and turnips, and so he made a life from that.
54:08And you made a life out of different things entirely?
54:10Yes.
54:11Little Manny Fisher became Maurice Templemore.
54:16New York, Hollywood, and then home.
54:20London's West End instead of the East End, and a life of comfortable obscurity.
54:28But everyone had gone.
54:34Everyone had gone.
54:35Your family had gone.
54:36Here, here.
54:40All manner of humanity that I once loved had gone, so I'd come home to die.
54:56Mr. Templemore, you live in Belgravia.
54:59Not anymore, and I'm no longer Mr. Templemore, there I truly was.
55:11He needs medical care, sis.
55:14And I'll arrange that in the morning, but at this precise moment in time, we have a carnival
55:18to catch.
55:19Woo.
55:20I used to make the moment.
55:21Oh, no.
55:22No.
55:23A baby left to be found.
55:24Oh, oh.
55:25Oh.
55:26Oh.
55:27Oh.
55:28Oh, no.
55:29No.
55:30A baby left to be found.
55:33Oh.
55:34Oh.
55:35Oh.
55:36Oh.
55:37Oh.
55:38Oh.
55:39This happened all the time at the herbiscus clinic.
55:42A girl.
55:45I've not put her at more than two days old, and the cord looks to have been chewed through.
55:52Oh.
55:53Oh, no.
55:54Oh, my baby.
55:55Oh.
55:56Oh.
55:57Oh.
55:58Oh.
55:59Oh.
56:00Oh.
56:01Oh.
56:02Oh.
56:03Oh.
56:04Oh.
56:05Oh.
56:06Oh.
56:07Oh.
56:08Oh.
56:09Oh.
56:10Oh.
56:11Oh.
56:12Oh.
56:13Oh.
56:14Oh.
56:15Oh.
56:16Oh.
56:34Oh.
56:39What do you mean we can't have the house on Half Lotus Street?
56:41And we have paid the deposit.
56:43It is not suitable.
56:45It's extremely suitable.
56:47And we can move there immediately with the children and our adult patients.
56:51The man who owns the building say no, give me the keys.
57:00If we are to return them, it can only be in exchange for the money we have paid.
57:11Give me the keys.
57:15The keys.
57:21Esther is a very, very important person to our family.
57:25It's as though they have both vanished.
57:27Throw at his heartbeat.
57:29Only doctors deliver by forceps.
57:31Everyone's bringing a bottle.
57:34Run by a crook who calls himself the Cormorant.
57:37A gangster of the worst kind.
57:39Esther Fred and the doctor are in trouble.
57:45Call the Midwife continues tomorrow evening at 8.30 on BBC One.
57:48Press red now for Humphrey's ultimate surprise in the Beyond Paradise Christmas special on iPlayer.
57:54And stay with me on BBC One for a Saunders and Lumley reunion in the Amanda Land Christmas special next.
58:01The End
58:10The End
58:11The End
58:12The End
58:13The End
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