- 2 months ago
Nerd Parenting 101 with Tabitha Brown
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Hey there Rocketeers! It is Charlie Rocket here. Hello, hello, hello and welcome to our panel,
00:13Nerd Parenting 101 for Afropunk! Quarantine edition. All right. So that is why we are
00:25sitting here in somebody's house. I don't know whose it is. You don't know where we are, is it Matt?
00:34But that is why we are not right in front of you telling you all this great information on how to
00:41parent your nerds. This panel is going to consist of all things nerd parenting. That means growing
00:50up as a nerd. That means parenting your own little baby nerds and anything under the sun.
00:57We just want kids to be able to grow up feeling comfortable being themselves and being original
01:06and individuals. I like that. Yeah, that's all true. Yes, I am joined here by my boyfriend,
01:12best friend and partner in crime. Oh, you blessed me. The Rise of Jay Jones.
01:19And the way I like to start every panel, but of course, is with introductions. So take it away.
01:28So they call me The Rise of Jay Jones, JJ, Jay Jones of Flair. It doesn't matter. Whatever you call me,
01:34just call me. But yeah, so I've been a nerd my whole life, you know. Second that I saw Dragon Ball Z,
01:40Sailor Moon. You know how we all started, Tension Universe, all that good stuff. I was hooked.
01:45So yeah, I do that. I also do a lot of things that aren't nerd stuff like I play guitar. I play
01:52basketball. I love music of all kinds. So yeah, I'm very multifaceted. But yeah, today we are going to
01:59get into that nerd part of me. So I'm very happy about that because I don't really get to talk about
02:04that that much. And again, I am Charlie Rocket. You may know me as Charlie Rocket Cosplay or Charlie
02:12Rocket on social media. She's hot. But for the most part, most of you know me for cosplay. I have
02:22over 200 cosplays at this point. Can you say that again? I don't think they heard you in the back.
02:27Over 200 cosplays? Just say you're like that. I'm like that. She's like that. I am like that.
02:36It's mostly because it's an addiction. But I've been cosplaying for right around seven years at this
02:43point. I reside in North Carolina, but I am from the lovely Montgomery County, Maryland.
02:55But yeah, I've been working on cosplay for about seven years. I started it as a hobby to kind of
03:03de-stress. I needed it to be an outlet and it just picked up from there. I just couldn't stop.
03:09But on top of that, I am a mom of two boys. The oldest is about to be 10 in December and the
03:18youngest just turned four over the summer. Aw, they grow so quick, don't they? I know, I know.
03:25So two boys, boy mom all the way. And let's see, I have a ton, ton of interest, but that is how you all
03:34know me. I've been a nerd my entire life. I've also been interested in costuming my entire life.
03:41Um, because I kind of got that from my mom. But anywho, that is me, Charlie Rockett.
03:48Um, so to kick this whole shindig off, we kind of talked a little bit about, uh, our parenting
03:56background. I talked about being a mom. Um, but we wanted to talk first about what it is like
04:03growing up a nerd or a blurred, more real to our specific stories. There's layers.
04:10What is it like growing up as a blurred? So I guess I'll kick this off. Um, well,
04:19I moved a couple of times when I was younger, but mainly in Connecticut is where I blossomed into
04:24the nerd that I sit before you guys. Um, so I was in New Haven, Connecticut. Y'all already know,
04:31New Haven. Love it. Uh, when I was a kid, uh, it was really hard to be a nerd first and foremost,
04:38because anything being different, or they on you, like they are, they are on your case. So the fact
04:45that I was a nerd, I was black, and I was somewhere where nerdy stuff wasn't even readily available.
04:50So then I had to go seek it out. That was a whole nother situation, but ended up going good because,
04:57you know, you, you, you find a way. If you really like something, you find a way. And luckily for me,
05:02that way was the flea market. So every Saturday we had this flea market that I would go to,
05:08and they would have, I'm going to say movies that you probably couldn't get anywhere else that had
05:15subtitles. You know, they were a little, they were a little janky, but I mean, it was anime. And I mean,
05:20I used to go and get the Dragon Ball Z movies, uh, just everything. And, um, I would watch them.
05:27They would have no English on them. Some of them like that. That's how strong the love for the culture
05:32was. Like, let me tell you, they're talking in complete Japanese. I didn't understand a word.
05:37I'm hooked. I'm just sitting here. I know some of these words, but also on the other side of that,
05:44I love everything, Marvel, DC, just all of that. I mean, I remember the first time I watched movies
05:51like Superman and I just saw somebody flying and laser eyes and freezing breath. I was like,
05:58yes, yes, yes. And then I saw somebody in a Batmobile with all these different tools. And I'm like,
06:04give me more. And then they're like, oh, he got bit by a spider. I'm like, is he okay? No,
06:08he's got powers now. So as you can see, I'm very passionate about it. I, that's my nerd experience.
06:16And then you get a little bit older, high school age about, so I'm getting a little more freedom.
06:20So now, and I'm also caring a little bit less about what other people think. So you start coming
06:24into your own and a beautiful thing called the internet came along. So now I don't even gotta
06:30hit my feet to do it. I can just a couple of sites. I'm looking at anime. I'm buying, um, all kind of comics.
06:37I'm buying all the video games and toys. I modded my PlayStation 2. Shout out to a site called PlayAsia,
06:44man. Oh my goodness. I know a lot of y'all know about that. So get into it, get into it.
06:51Because a lot of these games weren't even coming out in America. Like if you get too far into the
06:56culture, you start trying to like, you'll end up getting way ahead of what's coming out over here.
07:00And you can't wait for the games over here. So now you're buying it, you're modding your stuff just to
07:05not understand. I gotta look up the directions to figure out how to start the game. That's how
07:10the love goes. So yeah, I started doing that. And then you know, you get a little bit older and then
07:15you find out it's not just you. It's not just you and your city. So being a nerd, it was kind of hard
07:20because I felt isolated. There weren't a lot around, there weren't a lot of people around me that
07:24understood what I was about. And when they don't understand you, they isolate you. And what's crazy
07:30about that is now, it's like there's this whole new wave of everybody finding themselves. And
07:35also seeming like they're finding their inner child. And a lot of those people who are isolating
07:39are now coming back into the fold. And you know, it's good to see. But that's pretty much my nerd
07:46upbringing through and through. I love it. If it's animated, if it's got superheroes, if it's got a game,
07:53if it's got a fandom, I'm at least checking it out. Like I'm open-minded. I love being a nerd. So I'm gonna slide it
07:58over to Charlie Rocket because I want to hear about this origin story. Well, my origin story is actually
08:08pretty awesome because I actually was raised by nerds myself. Oh my gosh. She's the unicorn. Both of my
08:21parents are kind of I would consider nerds. Both of them are super huge fans of Star Trek, Star Wars.
08:32They used to watch so much Speed Racer. So they were into anime that they didn't even know was anime at the
08:39time. And they love sci-fi. My mom really loves comic books. Her older brother introduced her to comic
08:48books and she has been on them. They have both seen every Marvel movie, every Batman movie. Like
08:57they're into all of it. So growing up being a nerd wasn't really a thing within my household. To the
09:04point where like my middle sister is probably the least interested, not probably, she definitely
09:10is the least interested in anything nerdy. Um, and she's kind of like, it's almost like the monsters.
09:19Like how Marilyn was the normal one, but she was like the outsider in the family. Right. When it comes to
09:28our fandoms, she's like the Marilyn of our family. She
09:33is not as interested as we are. Um, so it wasn't too strange within my household. Uh, but outside of my
09:43household, of course, people are not used to seeing a person of color who is interested in nerd culture
09:52or geeky things. Um, even beyond just my fandoms, I had a lot of things that classified me as a nerd.
10:02I loved math. I loved, uh, grammar. I said loved past tense, but I love these things currently.
10:10Um, I was all about school and rules and things like that. So, um, I was definitely classified as a
10:19nerd. I did not fit in very well with really any social groups, uh, starting in middle school, but
10:28definitely in high school. So that was a little bit difficult, but I did have my, my closest of
10:35friends who we would buy our manga and we would look at these big illustrated books with Sailor Moon
10:44and all these beautiful illustrations. And I go, oh, I wish I was Sailor Moon. Um, but on top of that,
10:53just like, oh, Pokemon came out in middle school and that was my all-time favorite thing and is now
11:00probably my biggest fandom to this day. And, uh, yeah. So growing up, it was okay in my house.
11:09It was not necessarily okay outside of my house. And I do always, I always tell this story, um,
11:16about when I went to college. I went to North Carolina Central University, Eagles, um,
11:22which is an HBCU. So I was at this HBCU and I was looking for the blurbs. I was looking for the
11:33black people who liked the nerdy things. And what you learned, at least at that time,
11:41is that the blur community was super undercover. It, um, basically was a secret society.
11:53I remember being in college and thinking, wow, is there nobody who likes this stuff like I like it.
11:59And so I would wear, you know, my graphic tees around campus and things like that. Um, but that's
12:06how you find them. You wear the graphic tees and you walk around and they find you. Um, I remember
12:14being in class and that's how I met one of my close friends, um, David. I was wearing, uh,
12:22he was wearing a Naruto shirt and I walked into class and I said, Hey, nice Naruto shirt. And then he was
12:28like, huh? You know, Naruto. And so that's how I met him. And then I remember also wearing a Death Note
12:37shirt and going to class and somebody coming up behind me and saying, Hey, I like your Death Note
12:44shirt. And I thought like, Oh, okay. Thanks. And then he says, come to this room at this time on this day.
12:53And I, I'm thinking, all right, that's a little strange. And looking back now,
13:01probably shouldn't have gone, but I did go. Let me tell you how brave you were. Let me tell y'all
13:06how brave she was. I did actually go. Some gambles pay off. And I knocked on the door. You know,
13:14it's basically like a knocks three times, like secret code kind of thing. I did knock and I did go. And
13:22when they opened the door, it was a ton of people all piled up into one dorm room watching Spirited
13:29Away with like their little like Easy Max and their pop tarts and their, their college foods, you know?
13:39Um, but for real, for real, people think I'm joking, but the blur community really was just a hidden
13:46thing. And it really is difficult for black people, um, to do anything outside, outside of the norm,
13:57um, or outside of the norm for us. And, um, just finding those like-minded people was difficult.
14:05Um, but anywho, uh, so, so growing up blurty was, was a little bit rough, but how is it to raise
14:19young nerds or little blurts? I know that I have one point of view, but let's take, uh, somebody else's
14:28point of view. Let's go to you. No, no. Okay. You know what? I'm doing y'all. I guess I got to do it.
14:37All right. So it's very interesting because they come up to you with stuff that they think
14:44they just put you up on game. So they'd be like, Hey, have you heard of this little thing called
14:48Pokemon? Let me tell. I'm like, what? Boy, first gen red version Charmander started. What you talking
14:56about? So it's very interesting when they run up on you, like they just discovered fire. Meanwhile,
15:02I'm like, I got the flamethrower. So that that's always pretty fun, but no, it's very good to see
15:09the things that you love through somebody else's eyes a second time, because like, it's just amazing
15:15to see them captivated by something like, yeah, I remember that or like the first time I saw that.
15:20And, uh, right now they're really big on some of the things that I grew up on, like the staples,
15:24like they really love Pokemon. They really, they're getting into Dragon Ball Z. It's an amazing
15:29feeling to be in a different room and just hear someone go, you're just like, yes, I'm doing something
15:35right. Like something, something's working, but also, you know, now they're doing all kinds of reboots and
15:43things I would have never checked out because I'm too old for and I would have missed the wave.
15:47But lo and behold, guess who's riding that wave? They're bringing it right back to you. So
15:52my Sonic is their Sonic. My Mario is not their Mario, but it's great and it's all right. And
15:57also I get to give them something that unlike her, I didn't grow up with blurred parents. Like
16:01my parents were just like, do you, like they were supportive and they're like, do you, be happy,
16:05be who you are. We don't know what this is, but like, it's very fun to be on the other side of that,
16:09to not only know what it is, but to be able to embrace it and like do it with them and then guide
16:14them. So they really love things like Spider-Man now. And it's just, it's very interesting because
16:22you, you never think growing up that it's going to be so mainstream and so popular that you don't
16:27even have to try to get them into it. They almost naturally fall in line these days and it's,
16:33it's beautiful. And I love it. You know, it's, it's a mixed bag though, because you got to remember
16:44that they're going to grow their own way. They're not going to be just a copy of you. So you're not
16:48about to just catch yourself, like liking everything they like. So you do have to do that thing where
16:55you're like, Oh yeah, I support that. Oh, I'm not going to watch it if you're not watching it,
16:59but like if you're into it, I'll sit here with you and do it. But, um, it's really fulfilling
17:07and it's really good to just watch them grow in their own interest and find their own blurty ways
17:12in the world. Cause you know, everybody's got their own sauce. Everybody got their own seasoning,
17:16but you know, it's just kind of fun to stir the pot and just like shut it up a little bit,
17:21but that's just my point of view. But I'm going to give it to the real,
17:24the real better and the real in the feel blurred pair with it. Oh man. Well, um, to kind of touch off
17:32what you were saying, it's interesting because this generation, it's almost like nerd culture is
17:39mainstream now. Yeah. Um, so it's definitely way easier. It's almost like everybody's expected to like
17:46the things that we were kind of shunned for liking. So it's, it's like you get it. I'm going to say
17:54better sweets. Um, I'm happy that we're getting the nerd culture. I'm happy we're getting more things
18:01because it's mainstream, but at the same time, I mean, we had to fight for that. Hey, you know how that goes.
18:07We had to walk so that they could run or like TikTok anime 90 dance, like, you know,
18:16It's true. But things like TikTok and memes and all this other stuff, it's like nerd culture is
18:26everywhere now. And these kids are just super celebrating it. All the kids who, uh, in our
18:33generation wouldn't have like these things at all and probably would have made fun of us for it.
18:40Now it's all just fair game. As a matter of fact, here's a pause break. For all those people, we won.
18:47It's over. We won. We won. Because it's not even us. Your kids are going to be them. Like it's not even
18:53your kids are on TikTok. That's true. Your kids got headbands on with the leaflet. Now you're coming to me
18:58asking the Pokemon question. For real, yeah. You don't have no badges to that. Right. But, um,
19:07but actually raising them, like you said, I mean, it's awesome because that's just something that off
19:12the bat we can relate about. Um, that's something we can talk about together and a ton of the stuff
19:19they like, like you said, are the same things I grew up with and some of my favorite fandoms and
19:26introducing them to some of the things that we grew up with and that we hold close and for them
19:33to feel the same way about those things is incredible and is awesome. Um, it's definitely
19:39hard also because when they don't like the same thing, it is quite difficult. Um, but I would say
19:47raising them is awesome and I feel like I'm raising my kids to feel comfortable being themselves.
19:56Um, when you're embracing all these interests that they have, then you're allowing them the freedom
20:03to become who they need to become instead of, you know, holding them back. I feel like we had to push
20:10through so many barriers just to become who we are supposed to become. Just to be. Right. Just to be
20:18those things because we were told this is wrong for a black person or for a girl or whatever. Um,
20:25playing video games, things like that. These are things I can relate to my sons about. Um, just because
20:32those are things that I loved and because I didn't let society tell me that girls can't do these things
20:39or that black people can't do these things. That's right. Um, and so raising them to be blurts and to
20:48embrace that is, um, you, you had said this at one point, it's raising the next generation of nerds.
20:56That's what we're doing. And, um, we're taking over. I love it. It's great. It's beautiful. I'm here for it.
21:03And with the winning team, it's okay. Look, and we don't care if you miss the weight. There's room on the back of the bus.
21:09Right. There's room. Come on. There's something you'll find. Come on. Embrace us. Just join.
21:16We talked about it a little bit, but what do you think are some of the biggest benefits to raising your kids
21:24blurty? Okay. Some of the best benefits, um, if you get them on the right track,
21:32you pretty much don't have to watch things you don't want to. Like I said, there's, there's a few
21:37moments where you're going to have to just, you know, take one for the team and you know,
21:41Oh, Paw Patrol. That's what we doing today. Cool. I'm not checking out Paw Patrol by myself, but I'm here
21:48for it. But then the days when they wake you up and they're like, you know what, I'm really trying to
21:54get into this Spider-Man or I really want to see the Avengers or I really want to just watch this anime.
22:01Can we start this? And you're just like, I've been waiting for somebody to ask me this my whole
22:06life. So that's a benefit. But even on the other side of it, they don't look at you crazy for doing
22:13the things that they think is normal because you're setting them up for that. If they walk into your
22:19room and they see like cartoons on the TV or they see like a Marvel movie or like something DC related,
22:25it's not weird to them. They'll join and sit with you. And it's not a thing. Um, as far as like us
22:33being cosplayers, we dress up. They're like, okay, cool. And then they're like, we want to do it too.
22:38So that means later on, you know, we get to take them to their cons and like all this kind of stuff.
22:43It's just, yeah, it really is nice when what you're interested in aligns with what they want.
22:50And it's not anything that we force on them because they have interests outside of blurred stuff.
22:55And we're like, oh yeah. And we, of course, we try to let that flourish too.
22:58But it's just something really sweet about sharing like-minded things with your children.
23:03And, um, being a blurred is beautiful because it's not just movies. It's games. And it's not just
23:10games. It's comic books. And it's not just comic books. It's toys. Can you imagine? Like,
23:16so like I said, big Dragon Ball Z fan. I had this Goku figure, right? Super Saiyan God,
23:22but it was the blue. And, um, the little one, he found it and he loves it. He'll sleep with it. He'll
23:28take it apart, put it back together and whatever. And there's nothing better in my heart than him
23:34fake Kamehameha with this toy over and over. Kind of like, yes, do that thing. And like,
23:39because I had one of those toys weren't even available when I was a kid. So that's another
23:43good thing about this next generation of blurred. Because it's becoming so mainstream,
23:47guess who they're catering to right here. So I get to relive everything I missed the first time around.
23:54So I mean, it just, it's a gift that keeps on giving. Yeah. And I'm sure there's more that
24:00you could think of than I could. Yeah. I mean, everything you said, of course, I agree with. But,
24:07um, also, uh, one thing that, uh, raising my kids blurry has helped me with, I will say my oldest son,
24:17um, when I had him, I decided I was not going to do the conventional thing and have him watching
24:25Nick Jr. all day or something like that. Um, I did watch a lot of Nick Jr. There's a lot of Yo Gabba Gabba
24:33going on and things like that. But I didn't feel like I could do more Dora and Blue's Clues
24:40just constantly all day. And definitely, definitely not Kai. Oh, you couldn't say map? No, I was not
24:47going to say map, backpack. I wasn't going to say rescue pack for those Diego fans out there.
24:55Clearly I watched a little bit. But what I did start him on was Superhero Squad. And so
25:04basically, Superhero Squad is like the rated G or like PG version of like every Marvel story just
25:15all piled into one. Like if you liked Avengers, this is like beyond Avengers. This is like beyond
25:21Endgame, that kind of thing. Um, but for little wee babies. And Stan Lee plays the mayor. Like he,
25:29Stan Lee is even on there. So you can like listen and shut up here. And just like, it's an amazing
25:38show. It introduced me to like Miss Marvel before all these movies came out, before all these other
25:46cartoons. I don't know if y'all watch Earth's Mightiest Heroes. But before all that, before
25:52Thanos showed up in theaters, he was on Superhero Squad. And your kid could learn about the Infinity Gauntlet.
25:58It could learn about the Infinity Stones and the sword and Silver Surfer and like all kinds of people.
26:06Uh, so I started him on that and it was a lifesaver because I felt like I was learning even though it was
26:13at like a baby level. I felt like I was learning about so many characters I never knew about even
26:22though I read comics. You know like I was like oh okay. It's one of those shows where you're sitting
26:27there I too am the baby. Right, I am the child. So I'm like intense like staring at the screen and my
26:35two-year-old at the time or one-year-old or whatever is just ah slowly being fed all the information. A sponge.
26:44A sponge. Yeah, like by the time he was too, he was saying I Thanos with this Infinity Gauntlet
26:51will take over the world and I was, could never be prouder. Um, but another huge benefit I wanted to
26:59talk about. My oldest son actually is autistic. He is considered high functioning which um basically
27:07means he has Asperger's which um means that he has difficulty in social settings for the most part
27:15and when he was really younger he didn't talk as much as he does now. He talks all the time.
27:22You cannot stop him. He will not be quiet. He has all the questions and everything to say about
27:29everything. All the confidence in the world too is beautiful. But when he was uh when he was about
27:36two probably I would say he did not communicate as well and basically the way I explain it to most
27:44people is he used to communicate the way Bumblebee communicates on Transformers. You know Bumblebee,
27:52his like communication whatever got messed up in transit to earth on the movies I guess. And so
28:01he was using the car radio that was inside the car to communicate with people. So that's basically
28:07what my son was doing. He was using fragments that he heard in TV shows um in music uh in books that we
28:17read and he was using that to communicate with us. One example of that is that you know he used to watch
28:23Dora the Explorer every now and then and Dora one day said my favorite color is pink like my shirt.
28:31And so then from then on whenever somebody would ask him what his favorite color was he would say um like
28:39at the time I think his favorite color might have been red or orange and he would say my favorite color is
28:44orange like my shirt and his shirt might have been white like this. His shirt might have been any kind
28:50of color but he's trying to communicate to you my favorite color is orange. I'm quoting Dora because
28:57this is how I communicate. So he was telling you the correct answers but he was using fragments of what
29:04he had heard in the past in order to communicate that to others. Um and so I think that introducing
29:13him to nerd culture and to all these things comic books and all these things that I also love
29:20also gave us kind of a bridge in that communication area because all of the things he was able to
29:28reference and all of the things he used to communicate with me I knew what they were. I already knew what
29:36they were because I already loved all those things and with nerd culture covering such a huge variety
29:44of things um he had so many things to pull from and his vocabulary grew and his you know uh thought
29:53process grew everything grew and he had so many things that he could use to communicate with me and
30:01eventually he wasn't doing that as much um now that he's older he hardly ever does that specifically
30:10he does repeat a lot of things he does memorize a lot of what he sees um but because we share
30:19the same kind of fandoms and the same interests I immediately know already what he's trying to tell
30:29me and I already know what things he just wants to care about and love because those are the same
30:38things I care about and I love. So I think those are some of the biggest benefits that I personally
30:45have seen in um kind of introducing these things to your kids but uh have you noticed any negatives?
30:53Are there any bad sides to this? Oh I mean just like in life there's balance with anything so you
30:59know if it's got as high as high it's gotta have some lows um and those lows are some of the things that
31:06you liked they're going to love and what I mean by that is they're going to run it into the ground
31:16so like for instance I feel like I love Sonic I still do love Sonic I liked Mario
31:24they love Sonic so it's no problem like Sonic day one they love Mario so now it's like
31:33every morning let's go let's go backwards long
31:36like it's like oh no no it's fun I totally do it but they're like no it's not fun it's life and I was
31:44like I was once too like you so I have to get it so you have to be prepared for um for that and also
31:52another thing is when you're really upset accepting of um nerd culture and nerd lifestyle they don't quite
31:59understand the struggle that comes with that so the sense of ease to them of oh I can just get
32:07this Kirby game and that Kirby game in there and you have to tell them no you have to choose one
32:11and they're like but it's already available and you want me to have it right and it's not even like you
32:16don't want them to have it but they have to learn that you just this instant gratification thing and
32:21it's kind of hard because some of the stuff they want you want so now you have to pull back and
32:28really step into the parent part of that blurred parent and realize that just because all of this
32:35is good and because you enjoy it you don't want to enjoy it with them to the detriment of them so if
32:40there's something really good on but they have to do homework even if you want to see it and you know
32:45that they would enjoy it make that a reward like hey let's finish this thing and then we'll watch
32:50whatever but you know so but sometimes it's really hard because they'll they'll trick you they'll
32:55Jedi mind trick you the way hey I just happened to see that this thing came on and this thing came
32:59on today like no way and then like for the low low price and then you're like aha this is a sales pitch
33:08so you know I mean there's a good and then I mean sometimes uh just with children in general
33:14most children regular like just plain old children have a hard time with reality versus fiction so now
33:23if you're raising somebody that's even heavier on the fiction side and they're like oh like
33:29they think people respond or they like you know like or crazy things or like oh something could be
33:37burning maybe like oh it's just a glitch we can feel like no that's a fire that's not a glitch
33:44so so I mean it does you do have to sort of ground them but the beautiful thing about us being blurred
33:49ourself is you can help them fly and give them a helping hand without like taking away the things that
33:57they love and that they enjoy but you know sometimes it's hard to ride that line because let's all face
34:03it we're all just grown kids ourselves so you know yeah it gets challenging and then the times
34:10when you do have to just put your foot down and say no and the inner child inside of you dies like
34:17because you're like because as an adult now as a kid you know it was hard trying to explain to my
34:24parents that online games can't be paused so if I'm playing something like back in the day like
34:30Gears of War or Call of Duty or just like any video games that are online racing games and they're
34:35like just take out the trash you gotta pop and I'm like I can't it's online I find myself now needing
34:41these children to do certain things and lines that come out of my mouth that I just swore I would never
34:46say just slip out with the easiest of ease yeah like they'll walk up the stairs without looking up like
34:53they'll be playing the Nintendo switch or something and just walking up the stairs and I'm like look where
34:57you're going can't you put that thing down for two seconds hold on I need to go in the other room
35:02and then you secretly cry for like two seconds you're like tighten up tighten up or when they're
35:07playing video games and it's late or like they're watching an episode of something and it's on a
35:11cliffhanger but they have school in the morning and you know they're not gonna wake up and there's
35:15gonna be a whole battle and cranky so I have to say no I also too don't want to know how this amazing
35:23thing concludes so yeah sometimes it's hard because when you do share common ground just
35:30like with kids they'll test your boundaries and test your patience and just test you and
35:36sometimes you want to fail but you can't because you're still a parent at the end of the day
35:41so like I said you take the good but the bad isn't really that bad it's more so take them off and
35:47there you have a child
35:52right yeah but but yeah honestly it's more so even the bad is more so about
35:59figuring out what you're comfortable with allowing what boundaries you're willing to set
36:03and making sure that you're you are still setting them up for life and I think that's pretty much as
36:09much as I got yeah yeah how about you is there any negatives that you know the one that comes to
36:16mind like first and foremost is the fact that you cannot have your own things oh when everybody likes the
36:26same things everybody wants them so now you don't have your own things you brought up um your goku action
36:36figure earlier earlier and how fast the little one trevor how fast he was able to take it and also
36:48take it apart was insane you almost have to have like the most patience you've ever had in life
36:57just expect all of your items to be broken yeah you you almost attach zenness to it yeah because like
37:04when i buy things that are like that now even when i bought that i literally said when i bought it
37:09specific i said man i'm gonna enjoy it but like i'm not putting any stock in it because i already know
37:14what's up and you're like no i don't remember and he's like couldn't be so yeah like they just
37:20they will take your stuff and it's not your stuff it's our stuff like it doesn't matter you can tell them
37:26anything and they'll make all the promises in the world too like when you buy something for them you'll be
37:30like okay now look we're buying this one for you guys you guys can do whatever you want of course
37:36like oh sure sure they look up at you with the big the big doe eyes sure jj anything this is hard we
37:43won't even look at yours and like the spongebob announcer three hours later we need them both we need
37:50everything and so don't don't expect to make as much progress in your video games because yeah yeah but but
37:57at the same time it's it's it's okay you just you know you get you get used to those kind of things
38:05and uh yeah take it away when i when i think about uh not having my own items
38:14because we share these fandoms you just won't have your things like um when i first got the nintendo switch
38:23i bought the nintendo switch and i bought bayonetta as soon as it came out and i was like wow this is
38:32great it has bayonetta one and two you can download it's all of it and i was super hyped because i've
38:40never played bayonetta but i do play bayonetta in super smash brothers so i was super hyped to actually
38:49play her because she's the most extra person in the world and i don't know but they still give her
38:55glasses so i felt like that was cool like the girl with glasses is normally like on like she's all that
39:04or something like you gotta take the glasses off to be pretty but i feel like bayonetta is the complete
39:09opposite she's ba um with glasses on and the most strange hair costume and she's doing kicks and
39:20being extra i don't know all the poses it's basically jojo you normally don't get glasses and a glock
39:25right exactly exactly and a glock to be on your shoes that's what i'm saying magical so i wanted to play
39:34anyways got the switch and i might have played for 20 minutes and i've never played since let me tell you
39:47i literally never again she's not joking um it's been years uh
39:55this is because my kids were like wow look at this can i play with it so then it was now their switch
40:03their nintendo switch um i i was able to you know you fight for the things that you love you know so
40:10there were some games i was able to actually play and whatnot you know i played spider-man for ps4
40:19i played a lot a lot of overwatch but guess who's playing overwatch now my children not me i don't
40:27know the last time i played overwatch they play overwatch while we watch over them we watch over
40:33then play overwatch okay that's what's going on here um nothing belongs to you um some of my most
40:42treasured pop vinyls first of all i don't open them i leave them in the box because i have a problem
40:50and then they come and they rip the box and trying to get to it oh man trying to get to it i bought a
40:57very special one like early on in our relationship yeah and she was like oh i'm gonna try to i love
41:03it it was a i love you 3000 yeah tony stark oh my god yeah because man it meant a lot it was so funny
41:11is i think you got it home for like they just ripped you ripped through it i feel like i got a text and you
41:19were just like why do the children take away all the things yeah um i have like a she hulk like a business
41:26she hulk like she's got on her power suit she's ready to go do lawyer things she's got on some
41:32glasses got a briefcase guess what her glasses are now they're broken straight off her face and broken
41:38in half on my desk oh yeah you had a spider-man bobble head pop uh the head doesn't bobble but it sure does
41:44twist none of the bobble heads bobble anymore and they're all backwards they're all looking back they're
41:51looking back there wondering what happened actually you're right that's another thing because the kids
41:57will take your toys and be like hey isn't it funny that goku's head is on his knee now and you're like
42:02i guess if you think so personally i like his head on his shoulder it's actually making me want to cry
42:09all right but no you know show no weakness yeah and as a collector you know beep beep uh it's rough out
42:18here it's rough i don't know if you guys watched the lego movie but i guess that was the whole premise
42:25you know at the end the kid's talking to his dad his dad's really upset because he messed up his whole
42:31lego thing the whole basement's full of legos because this man done built all these lego buildings and had
42:38everything perfect and his son was like well man i can't even play with that you're in trouble for
42:43playing with it and he was like i guess it is toys can you imagine blurred parenting i guess they are
42:51toys right eventually you have to realize it is toys so your kids are gonna want to play with them yeah
43:00i mean of course it's okay to set rules and restrictions and boundaries and things like that
43:05things they can't touch yeah of course yeah but i mean i would have died as a kid staring at my dad
43:14had a model of the mach 5 and if i wasn't able to touch that thing i think i might have died all i know
43:20is that i feel that i feel that in a real way if i happen to come into the room and for some reason my
43:25dad or my mom which like i said with my parents i'm gonna look y'all dead in the face this never would
43:30happen if i walked in let's just say they were playing i don't know star wars jedi fallen order if you
43:35think i wasn't getting in on that action anywhere i could i'd walk in like who are you who are you
43:44so i i'm completely understanding of that so you know you have to you have to have what all parents
43:50pretty much need which is compassion because they're kids there's a reason why on the boxes
43:55they say six and up you never think you're going to be the up you always think you're going to be
43:58the six but guess what we're sharing that space like what is it that's good that's for real like
44:05when they say like ain't no you got to understand you're not on the eight you are the up but guess
44:09who's both sharing like we're all in this together don't do it it's true all in it okay i'm gonna do it
44:17we're gonna get sued we're gonna get sued all right no we had three seconds i think before i know we just
44:22made it just made it um the other negative that i wanted to say you touched on this for a second it's
44:31when you start feeling old you start you're like i am a parent oh man yeah it's when you start feeling
44:38old um video games
44:42in my household have become too much i don't want to become the parent who says you're playing too
44:54many video games and blame video games for everything that's happening negatively to my child
45:03i feel that i kind of want to i'm not blaming video games i'm blaming youtube that's true it is mostly
45:10youtube until a year and a half ago i had no idea what a youtube poop was um they're always like
45:16any fandom someone's animating it doing crazy things kirby has a knife for some reason yeah
45:23peppa pig is like a scary like yeah it's like a scared on peppa so like but but yeah so there's
45:31certain moments where i'm there like i never thought i'd be actually monitoring the content of another adult
45:37you know because as an adult you start to be like i'm gonna mind my business and then when you realize
45:42that their business is your business and you gotta be like i don't think you should be watching that
45:46the kid inside of you like i don't think you should be watching that do you hear yourself right
45:52or on top of that like my kids just play video games all the time um and then you start wondering oh
46:01what kind of content are you really like i said they play a lot of overwatch and overwatch looks like
46:06a dreamworks movie like it just looks like disney and pixar came together and made overwatch
46:15and it's full of like disney princesses and like winston is like a cool it looks like wrecking ralph
46:24like it looks lovely but then when you really think about it my child is using a machine gun to just
46:32murder people in this video game so there's balance you know there's balance to things i let them play it
46:41but for how long and to what degree i also know what i'm quoting some of these video games they say
46:50wild thing they do or you know there's so many inside jokes and things like that memes and whatnot that
46:57come from video games that come from marvel movies or whatever else and they just take them to a
47:06different direction where my 10 year old cannot go right now you know everybody's playing among us right
47:14now right that's what it's called yeah see i feel old saying that's what it's called right um and knowing
47:21that my kids know the things before me it makes me feel old and it makes me feel uh lame but among us
47:32is a fun game i've heard and my kids are obsessed but they're also obsessed with all these among us videos
47:43and the murder mystery of it all they're just like let's play among us as real people like that's a new tag game
47:53we're pretty much playing who done it yeah but then also they scared the crap out of me because they come
47:59out with like a fake knife and they're trying to murder people so yeah no you're right because um even with
48:06minecraft i the minecraft wave is like just where i started to like step away from because i didn't
48:16quite understand it i get it now because kids but uh even playing with blocks and stuff with uh the
48:22little one the other day where he's like oh you want to do minecraft we can craft we can make stuff
48:27i'm like cool this is fun we're fake crap or whatever he's like oh here come the creepers and the zombies
48:31i'm like okay cool i had no issues with that he was like okay now get a weapon i was like oh all right
48:36he's like now we kill the zombies he's like you kill them all until there's none left and then you had
48:40that moment where you're like oh man like you're you're four like what have i done but then right
48:49after he's like let's watch tough puppy and i'm like all right cool so it is it's it's it's a weird line
48:56because growing up is hard because i like it it is because also like if it wasn't on tv and it wasn't in a
49:06book back in the day you're done but like with the advent of the internet and the things that they
49:12can do these kids are watching something on their switch in the room at night that like i have no
49:17idea about like we have to go and check and like make sure and luckily for us we have two very good
49:22kids but like so far because uh once they freak themselves out they'll come running us like oh oh my
49:29god that's all this crazy thing and you're like yep that's the internet you gotta stop clicking like
49:35it doesn't take much to get to the wrong spot these days but yeah other than that like it's it's it's
49:40even the bad is not that bad yeah yeah i would definitely say the good outweighs the bad yeah
49:46yeah fine model um and so since we talked a lot about relating to your child as a blur what if your child
49:55was not a nerd oh well for me that's easy because i'm a very multi-faceted individual
50:02like i'll hop on the court i'm gonna give you buckets i'm gonna give you 30 and then go read manga
50:08so like i might read it at the court so like it's fine like whatever the kids are into like i'm
50:14supporting that like if they if they came up to me was like hey i want to take a dance i'm like cool
50:19let's figure out what that looks like and i'm gonna support you if you want to do archery if you decide i
50:24want to join the bowling team i'm here for you i am not that great of a bowler but like i mean can
50:30we not get better together it's all about the fact that you care about the kids you want to spend time
50:34with them and that you want them to feel like they never weren't supported yeah i definitely agree
50:42with that um nerd culture is great but what's even better is uh having your kid feel like they can be
50:50themselves and they can be themselves around you and that's what becoming who you're supposed to be
50:56is all about it's about finding what you are about and not about following what somebody else is about
51:05and i really wanted to this panel is definitely about nerd parenting specifically but i also just
51:12want to always make a note that it's important to really embrace who your child is regardless of what
51:17that means um and just loving them and trying to get into it with them so that you know all so that
51:27you can relate the same way we relate to the nerd uh the love of nerd culture you can relate with them
51:36to any of their interests also if your child is a blurred and you're not i also suggest giving it a try
51:41like you never know you might find out something about yourself and give yourself a chance to explore
51:46interest maybe that you didn't get to as a kid maybe you were one of those kids who at some point
51:50had an interest but it wasn't cool so you didn't go with the way and i mean you know just it goes
51:55both ways you might have a blurred child and you might not be a blurred whatsoever but now like i mean
52:01give it a shot and blurred isn't a bad word like i promise you it's not last but not least i just wanted
52:08to go ahead and list some of our show book recommendations uh for all the parents out
52:14there looking for some blurry content do you have anything you wanted to throw out there okay well
52:21if you're trying to get your kids into comics and things like that i would say marvel first over dc dc's
52:27a little bit grittier and a little bit more dark yeah it's a little bit whatever but marvel there's you
52:32know there's stories that like you can ease them into and trust me when you go into the store you'll
52:38be able to kind of tell like like things like a superman or a spider-man or like they're they're
52:45they're staples for a reason and like she said um the different kind of shows you can show them um
52:50yeah superhero squad is amazing comic book wise also uh in regards to comic books go to your local
52:57comic book store and just ask they have kids sections now where they have comics for younger
53:04kids they have books for younger kids graphic novels that kind of thing look into it they have
53:10a ton of stuff these days but also yeah superhero squad's amazing that's a great show for everybody
53:17to watch and kind of uh mesh on so things another thing that like kids if they're a little bit older
53:24but they're like coming towards like teen stuff like things like ben 10 they'll gravitate towards
53:29things like that pokemon i was about to say pokemon is a big one pokemon digimon you really can't go
53:36wrong with any of those sort of things beyblade and anime wise let me tell you about a genre like
53:43not all of them are violent not all of them are actiony they have these things called slice of life
53:48animes where it's just kids going to school doing kid goofy things and you know that might be a way to
53:53get them into it and then they have sports animes like uh what is it haiku like yeah like it's a
53:59volleyball one um netflix is a great resource if you go to the kids section at netflix it filters out
54:07a majority of the bad stuff yeah there's things like steven universe which has a big that's really
54:12big yeah and it teaches them because a lot of the things now have messages so not only will you get
54:17them interested in things they care about but they'll teach you about how to deal with your feelings
54:20your emotions with complex things in ways that we couldn't even think about and then also if they
54:26are big into like superheroes and stuff spider-man into the spider-verse is a must to watch yes they
54:32will love it i hope you'll love it because they're going to wear it out especially your kids of color
54:39yes representation is important oh it really is before i forget though also black panther like
54:45it's it will there's violence in black panther and things like that watch it with them but just watch
54:53it with them and just so that they can see the representation representation is really important
54:59and rest in peace to chadwick boseman yeah you know we lost the legend and uh you know one time for the
55:07king himself so i mean yeah that's just the place to get you started but literally you can go like she said on
55:13netflix kids sections or your comic book stores and ask them like they'll give you suggestions of
55:18things that they know of and you just do your own research and you know you can say yeah do your research
55:23yes yes that's a great point well thank you guys so much for tuning into our panel nerd parenting 101
55:32you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here with us
55:35this has been a whole blasty blast i am so thankful to be a part of of afropunk thank you so much
55:45like that's amazing like two amazing events together together working together
55:51let our powers combine captain win let's go but um real quick we just sort of want to let you guys know
55:59where you guys can find us you can find me at charlie rocket cosplay on any social media platform
56:05you got anything to plug oh ig the rise of j jones also afropunk if you guys are into shredding
56:11guitar metal all that kind of stuff i'm your guy i will set the fretboard on fire i'm also a hooper
56:17slash photographer slash whatever i'm interested in in the moment i get busy with mine he does it's true so
56:26yeah thank you guys so much once again thank you so much you know all love and you know what
56:32congratulations on raising the next generation of blurs
56:37good luck guys we're out
56:56good luck guys
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