00:00I think boundaries are one of the greatest demonstrations of self-love that we can actually have.
00:06So, Bree, can you talk a little bit about what kinds of boundaries you've set to really, you know, protect your peace and protect your energy?
00:15Absolutely. I think that boundaries are something.
00:18Okay, so I just got in therapy. Like, I'm on my eighth session.
00:21And it was a journey, y'all, so I appreciate the applause.
00:26But we, in our, maybe two sessions ago, she asked me what boundaries looked like when I was dealing with a family situation.
00:38And I realized that I didn't know what they looked like.
00:42But I think that instead of me placing boundaries on other people, I started placing them on myself.
00:49So only allowing myself to think about things for a certain amount of time or talk about things for a certain amount of time.
00:54Because I'm not really at the place right now where I can place boundaries on other people because I'm trying to figure out what they even look like for me and accepting that that's okay right now.
01:03But I'm in a place where I'm like, what do my boundaries look like?
01:08It doesn't have to be this hard thing, but I just want to make it more about me and less about other people.
01:15And I think that starting there will kind of help me have grace as I set boundaries to other people.
01:23Because boundaries are hard.
01:25Like, I think about, okay, this is a very small boundary, right?
01:28But I have a problem going to bed at night.
01:31Like, I never want the day to end.
01:33So, because I want to have fun all day, right?
01:35And so, it will be times where I'm just up until 2 o'clock in the morning watching love is blind.
01:42But I have to set that boundary with myself where it's like, girl, you need to go to bed by 11.30 because you have to get up at 7.
01:49What are you doing up?
01:50And I think we think about boundaries as these hard things with other people.
01:54But if I can't even set the boundary with myself that I'm not going to go to bed late and watch love is blind, how can I expect everyone else to be able to accept it?
02:02It's a hard thing and that's okay.
02:04I want to have grace with myself.
02:06Can I add?
02:07Yeah.
02:08So, I think boundaries have been demonized for so long.
02:12So, we automatically kind of look at boundaries as, oh, I'm shutting people out.
02:16I'm making it this bad kind of thing.
02:20And I've learned that my boundaries look more like governing decisions.
02:24So, it's not really that it's a boundary to keep people out.
02:27It's a governing decision that I have that, you know, you do not speak to me this way.
02:31When you speak to me a certain way, I excuse myself, right?
02:35It's, like, very simple.
02:36Like, I have a governing decision.
02:38Because I'm a mom, I don't want to work after 6 p.m. or something.
02:43So, someone will be like, oh, well, we have this great thing and we'll pay this much and all.
02:48But my governing decision is already set, right?
02:51Like, what matters to me is already set.
02:53Not that I can't be flexible.
02:55Because if I want to be flexible, I will be.
02:58But it doesn't make me think and look at everyone as an individual thing.
03:02This is just how Patrice governs her life.
03:05So, if you're going to be a part of her life, this is kind of what it is at this point.
03:10It's something about turning 40.
03:12Boy, we get, whoo!
03:13A lot of stuff changes.
03:15A lot of stuff changes.
03:16But, yeah, so more governing decisions.
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