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00:00:00There's always a joker in the pack
00:00:12There's always a lonely clown
00:00:15There is a jester, just a fool
00:00:20As foolish as he can be
00:00:23There's always a joker, that's the rule
00:00:27But fate deals a hand and I see
00:00:32The joker is me
00:00:36The joker is me
00:00:40The joker
00:00:45Is me
00:00:53The joker is me
00:00:57The joker is me
00:01:00The joker
00:01:02Now I can sit
00:01:04I will do
00:01:07And now I've said
00:01:09On my face
00:01:10I will look at Ki
00:01:16It's nice, it's different, it's unusual.
00:01:32Now the home made famous by the hit TV show Kath & Kit today open the doors to the public
00:01:38for the first and last time.
00:01:40Many arriving hours beforehand to get a glimpse.
00:01:43Die hard fans came from as far as Tasmania.
00:02:13That's the first thing I say in the jokes.
00:02:14I mean, there's the costumes and the characterisation and all of that and the silliness but the writing
00:02:19and the jokes are so tight and there's so many and packed.
00:02:23Oh, listen to this girl.
00:02:24I've just been reading all about this pyramid selling.
00:02:26Apparently, you're getting up to 30 grand a month.
00:02:28Oh, wow.
00:02:29Who's gonna want my pyramids, Mum?
00:02:30Every time I go back to a rewatch, it's so dense.
00:02:32You pick up something new every time and it's just really smart.
00:02:35The characters are often doing stuff that seemingly is very dumb.
00:02:38Did you put my trumpet legs in the dryer?
00:02:40Look, you've shrunk them.
00:02:41No, I hung dry them.
00:02:43Look at you.
00:02:44You've absolutely ballooned of late, Kim.
00:02:46Die is ballooned.
00:02:47So much funnier than ballooned.
00:02:49Even it is.
00:02:50You've ballooned of late, Kim.
00:02:51I told you that baby bulge is a bugger to budge.
00:02:53Well, it's not my fault.
00:02:54I eat like a bird.
00:02:56Ha.
00:02:57Big bird.
00:02:58They celebrate what it means to come from just a normal, basic suburban Australian house,
00:03:03which is never something that is glimmerised.
00:03:05Any other show on the news, Australians like to down on ourselves,
00:03:09but kind of kid likes to celebrate what it means to be just an ordinary suburbanian.
00:03:14Here's one.
00:03:15Oh, my God.
00:03:16This is the same room we were in last week.
00:03:18No, it's not.
00:03:19It is.
00:03:20We were on the upper floor.
00:03:21Oh, cool.
00:03:22Good driving, Mum.
00:03:23No, that's your fucking face, Kim.
00:03:25And I think if you want to be an Australian citizen,
00:03:27Captain Kim should almost be like an instructional video.
00:03:30I'd have best friend watching Kim.
00:03:32You'll get it by the end of it.
00:03:33You'll get what we are all about.
00:03:34What is wrong with guys in this place?
00:03:36Fucking mugs.
00:03:37I cannot believe how he married is.
00:03:38You know him so early on.
00:03:39Get!
00:03:40Holy fuck!
00:03:41Hell!
00:03:42Look out!
00:03:43I've got it!
00:03:44I've got it!
00:03:45I've got it!
00:03:46No, I haven't!
00:03:47I've got it!
00:03:48No, I haven't!
00:03:49I was on a holiday in Greece recently.
00:03:51I was on a boat beside a beautiful island.
00:03:53And I had a very mixed group of people on the boat.
00:03:56From all over the world, really.
00:03:57And we played ethical videos all night.
00:03:59So do you think the tank will fit round the side, Kel?
00:04:01Well, easy.
00:04:02I'll just pop it under the clothesline.
00:04:03I think we're late to them because...
00:04:05That's us.
00:04:06What's wrong?
00:04:07What's the matter, Kimmy?
00:04:08I just got wind.
00:04:09Oh!
00:04:10Me too!
00:04:11No!
00:04:12I just got wind that Mona is having a party for Winey Briney on the same day at the same
00:04:17time as Ebony's!
00:04:18No, look!
00:04:19What's her on?
00:04:20It's revolting!
00:04:21No, Kim, it's beautiful!
00:04:22Not from where I'm sitting!
00:04:23It's so iconic because I think it's just like looking rush.
00:04:24Oh, I feel sick.
00:04:25Oh, I could be offended by that Kimmy because I'm feeling too damn good about myself.
00:04:38It's just an Aussie so self-deprecating that it's fun to laugh at yourselves.
00:04:42That's why.
00:04:43How's work, Brit?
00:04:44Oh, yeah.
00:04:45Good cat, yeah.
00:04:46Yeah, sales.
00:04:47Yeah, great.
00:04:48Look, I gotta go.
00:04:49I gotta go back to work.
00:04:50It's brilliant.
00:04:51And it still stands up.
00:04:5220 years later, it is absolutely as wonderful and as sharp as it ever was.
00:04:56Where do these onions stop?
00:04:57Uh, in the pantry cupboard, right in the corner.
00:04:59You gotta bend right over to get in there, Kel.
00:05:01Right over.
00:05:02Everybody says, oh, poor children, but she's doing okay.
00:05:06She gets a few batches in the show.
00:05:08I've actually seen an octopus make out, but I imagine it's kind of like if you had something
00:05:11on your whole face that you were trying to get off.
00:05:14Oh, hello.
00:05:16Hello, Kim.
00:05:17What's the problem with two fit middle-aged people?
00:05:20Get on.
00:05:21Well, I think we both have a lot of love to give.
00:05:24And make.
00:05:28Kel.
00:05:29You look gorgeous.
00:05:31Come here, Foxy.
00:05:34I'll have to say, I don't think I've ever seen you long so damned attractive.
00:05:38Oh, you're great.
00:05:39Uncle Spunk.
00:05:40Oh, Kel.
00:05:41Oh, Kel.
00:05:42Oh, Kel.
00:05:43Oh.
00:05:44Oh.
00:05:45Oh.
00:05:46Oh.
00:05:47Hello.
00:05:48Revolting.
00:05:49Oh.
00:05:50Oh.
00:05:51Oh.
00:05:52Oh.
00:05:53Oh.
00:05:54Oh.
00:05:55Oh.
00:05:56Oh.
00:05:57Oh.
00:05:58Oh.
00:05:59Oh.
00:06:00Oh.
00:06:01Oh.
00:06:02Oh.
00:06:03Oh.
00:06:04Oh.
00:06:05Oh.
00:06:06Oh.
00:06:07Oh.
00:06:08Oh, good.
00:06:09That works.
00:06:10Oh.
00:06:11Oh, well.
00:06:12Boring.
00:06:13Oh.
00:06:14I love you, oh.
00:06:16Oh.
00:06:17Oh, Gary.
00:06:22Oh, Gary!
00:06:38Oh, Gary, that's unusual, what are you doing?
00:06:45T-shirt spunk, I'll give you a love poem.
00:06:47Oh, Gary!
00:06:51Piss off, Brett!
00:06:55They're larger than life, and they're ridiculous, but also entirely irrelatable.
00:06:59Everybody's met a Catholic, Kim, or a Kell, or a Brett.
00:07:02Now, I've got one word to say to you, Kim.
00:07:04Dud Root.
00:07:06Why?
00:07:07What does she mean by that Brett?
00:07:08I don't know.
00:07:09He's a dud root.
00:07:10I can't help myself.
00:07:12Brett!
00:07:17As for Brett, you know, it doesn't surprise me.
00:07:19He's a real pants man.
00:07:21And Kylie and Danny Bolton were just mossed to the flame.
00:07:24You know, they were trapped in his fly.
00:07:26Can I help you?
00:07:27No, thank you.
00:07:28You're unbelievable.
00:07:29You left a bit out about being in bed with them completely naked.
00:07:33It doesn't mean anything happened.
00:07:35Oh, as if, Brett.
00:07:36I'm not as stupid as I look.
00:07:38Even though it's so far-fetched, we connect to it.
00:07:40We've got that auntie that's a little bit like a cat-fried.
00:07:43Take his word for it, Kim Mint.
00:07:45Don't lie about these sort of things.
00:07:47And then a little bit of the pushover boyfriend like Brett.
00:07:49What am I doing wrong?
00:07:50He's gonna smell a blister about you at the moment.
00:07:52But he's my dad, Brett, so keep your greasy mitts off.
00:07:57Oh, piss off, Brett.
00:07:59Gimme.
00:08:00It's for you.
00:08:05You're as cold as ice.
00:08:07Uh, who goes for a r-b-litchy?
00:08:10I can't go out looking like this.
00:08:12You're winning sacrifice, son of!
00:08:16Thank God Brett got his hands on my bumble-lina.
00:08:19Ow!
00:08:20Coochie!
00:08:21Get down!
00:08:22No!
00:08:23Naughty goo-
00:08:24No!
00:08:25You're gonna make a top mum, Kim.
00:08:27I know.
00:08:28You love your Brettie, don't you, Coochie?
00:08:30You love your Brettie?
00:08:31You love your Brett, Coochie?
00:08:32You love your Brett?
00:08:33You love your Kim?
00:08:34You love your Kim, Coochie?
00:08:35Stupid dog, we're getting rid of her once we have a baby.
00:08:39You know that, don't you Brett?
00:08:40You know that, don't you, you're just ready to rip.
00:08:42You know that.
00:08:43You're just watching the other people.
00:08:45I'm sorry.
00:08:47Don't make me laugh.
00:08:48You're just waiting for a little bit.
00:08:49No!
00:08:50I'm sorry!
00:08:51Don't make me laugh.
00:08:52Sorry!
00:08:53That's good!
00:08:54Everyone's moving up!
00:08:55I'm so scared!
00:08:56Don't touch, stop!
00:08:58Sorry!
00:08:59Sorry!
00:09:00Here we go!
00:09:01Don't laugh, thanks!
00:09:02Oh, please!
00:09:03Oh my god, here we go.
00:09:05Here we go!
00:09:06Oh, I love this bitch.
00:09:10I'm sorry.
00:09:12I didn't.
00:09:13Was it me?
00:09:15Welcome back to the TV Loving Awards.
00:09:18And now, please welcome Crow and True.
00:09:27Hi, everyone.
00:09:29Hi, Crow.
00:09:31How are yours?
00:09:32Oh, I'm brash.
00:09:33Right.
00:09:34Excuse the duds.
00:09:35Yes, we've been out the back from the goodie bags.
00:09:37That's right.
00:09:37For all the celebs tonight.
00:09:39Yes, just putting lots of beautiful things from our shop, you know.
00:09:42We had heaps of Tree Neville on leftover.
00:09:45You know, ho-ho-ba leftover from October.
00:09:48That's right.
00:09:49Then I was just out the back showing One Direction, my Dutch oven.
00:09:52They loved it.
00:09:54Too far, too far.
00:09:56It's been a great time.
00:09:57Divide.
00:09:58Hi, Manu.
00:10:00How are you?
00:10:02I tell you what, Prue, I'm going to do Manu tonight.
00:10:05Oh.
00:10:07Stop it, Prue.
00:10:08You're grateful, you're grateful.
00:10:10I'm going to do his tiramisu.
00:10:14Too far.
00:10:14I don't know what I've got, I don't know what I've got in a bottle of water.
00:10:37I've got a bottle of water.
00:10:38I've got a bottle of water.
00:10:39I've got a bottle of water.
00:10:40No, it's over.
00:10:41All over a bottle.
00:10:42See it's like a bum, but it's like a witch as well.
00:10:45I love it's really nice.
00:10:47She's got good ties for him.
00:10:49I've seen people standing up with nothing to do.
00:10:51Nothing all over nothing.
00:10:52All over nothing.
00:10:53I've got a bottle of water.
00:10:54It's a pigeon.
00:10:55Bird.
00:10:56Oh no, no, no, no, no.
00:10:59It looks warm.
00:11:00That's nice.
00:11:01It's nice.
00:11:02Who are you renovated box?
00:11:03What?
00:11:04Your beach box.
00:11:06I've got Michael Stewart to do it.
00:11:08Oh, you can't do mine.
00:11:09Tell me it's too big.
00:11:10And action.
00:11:11Harry, where's your rash here?
00:11:13Darling, it's 11.30.
00:11:14I don't have 10 minutes.
00:11:16I'd like a boyfriend.
00:11:18I'd like a baby.
00:11:19Shut up, Sharon.
00:11:20Look.
00:11:21Is Sharon annoying you?
00:11:23I'm really sorry.
00:11:24You always say nothing.
00:11:26You've got so many kids.
00:11:27What did I say?
00:11:28You know I haven't had to do it for three hours.
00:11:31You're not supposed to do it.
00:11:32Sharon, get back here.
00:11:34Make it a goat of yourself.
00:11:35And I'd like to be your first best friend.
00:11:37The best friend.
00:11:38The best friend.
00:11:39Ho, ho, ho.
00:11:40Thank you, Sanna.
00:11:45What a show.
00:11:46Jelly Winters in the business.
00:11:48Thank you, Sanna.
00:11:49Come back here.
00:11:50Humber Humber.
00:11:51Humber Humber.
00:11:52Humber Humber.
00:11:53Jelly Winters.
00:11:54My stay starting.
00:12:15Come back here.
00:12:16Humber Humber, Humber Humber!
00:12:19Jelly Winters.
00:12:20My stay starting.
00:12:22You are Shelly Whitton.
00:12:23I don't know.
00:12:24I hate an incident of the fucking bronco.
00:12:28That's what's left of the bruising area.
00:12:29Very, very nasty.
00:12:31The rest is just some sort of strong dermatitis.
00:12:34You know what that is?
00:12:35I'm not going to the doctor to ask.
00:12:37Oh, God!
00:12:38Oh, no!
00:12:39What the hell?
00:12:41Pretty, pretty, pretty.
00:12:43Pretty notes are too big.
00:12:45Okay.
00:12:46This is what I'll look.
00:12:48In the future.
00:12:49And there are beautiful notes.
00:12:51Oh, that's mine.
00:12:52You can't sing and eat at the same time.
00:12:54Oh, you want a bit?
00:12:55No!
00:12:56Look at me!
00:12:58Oh, what a-
00:12:59Ow!
00:13:00That's it!
00:13:01Oh, what's up here?
00:13:03Oh, it's bloody raining!
00:13:04Let's go for it!
00:13:05Sharon, you big, great, skonk!
00:13:08What?
00:13:09Help me here, please!
00:13:12No!
00:13:13I'm done!
00:13:19I can't think you're lost.
00:13:21I can't think you're lost.
00:13:22I can't think you're lost.
00:13:23I can't think I can't think.
00:13:26Chopped my hands to the temple.
00:13:38One sound of 360 most Hadoukenfa is stage 310-
00:13:44I can't follow the move, I move my head to the tempo.
00:14:14Hello Margaret.
00:14:27Kath and Kim, Gough and Margaret.
00:14:30Funny night.
00:14:32And is my daughter Kim?
00:14:33Oi.
00:14:34We are mainly chuffed to being invited tonight.
00:14:37Um, wow, you know, in front of so many colleagues, journals and other extinguished guests.
00:14:42The girls have been married for 65 years.
00:14:45Simply, ladies and gents, give it up, the ultimate crazy wife.
00:14:51The first thing I think of when I think of the shit is the squeaky starting door.
00:14:54It just really takes me straight there.
00:14:58Hi Kim.
00:14:59Hi.
00:15:00Where have you been?
00:15:01Mark's all night.
00:15:03Oh yeah, what'd you do?
00:15:08Kim.
00:15:09Hi.
00:15:10Where have you been?
00:15:12Oh dear.
00:15:15Sorry, but my chef's under.
00:15:17Of course.
00:15:18That would do it.
00:15:18That would do it.
00:15:20She's a professional, otherwise.
00:15:22Action.
00:15:27Silphong's melting.
00:15:37Didn't get far with that one.
00:15:38What's happened, love?
00:15:53What's happened, love?
00:16:01What's happened, love?
00:16:02What's happened, love?
00:16:08You've got one line.
00:16:10I know I've only got two lines all day.
00:16:12There's such substance with Kath and Kim, they, they sort of broach various of serious relevant
00:16:18topics with such wonderful humour.
00:16:20I'll hold it till tomorrow.
00:16:21Brian, you're too good to me, really.
00:16:23Can you hold the cage for me?
00:16:26Now, I didn't say that.
00:16:27Don't twist.
00:16:28Don't twist.
00:16:29There are other ways to make up a difference.
00:16:30What do you mean, Brian?
00:16:31Oh, come on, Kathie.
00:16:33What about that kiss we're talking about?
00:16:35When you look at Kath and Kim, it's commie emerges from a woman's point of view.
00:16:39It's almost a femme's point of view because it says women's experiences are valid and important
00:16:42and be the stuff of commie.
00:16:43No kiss, no coach.
00:16:45No kiss, no coach.
00:16:47No kiss, no coach.
00:16:48No kiss, no coach.
00:16:49I think back then people were less likely to think that there was a market for women's
00:16:53stories.
00:16:54Fortunately, that's changed a fair bit in the time in between.
00:16:56Hello, Sandy.
00:16:57Pleased to meet you.
00:16:58G'day, Spooky Trugs.
00:17:00Alexander Freckle at your service.
00:17:02Kel, you sly dog, you didn't tell me she was such a looker.
00:17:05Thank you, Sandy.
00:17:06I do go to trouble.
00:17:07You look like trouble to my host, eh?
00:17:09Kath, are you ignoring me?
00:17:11Oh, no, Sandy.
00:17:12Can I get you something?
00:17:17Don't, Sandy.
00:17:18Jenna Riley and Jack Turner and Magnus and Nancy really were trailblazing Australian women
00:17:23in commie.
00:17:24There had been a number of really m'women who had played important roles in television
00:17:27comedy in Australia but not necessarily the stars of their own s**t.
00:17:30We might get you into a sports bra for this, I think, love.
00:17:33Yeah, this, uh, package is top of the range.
00:17:36It's $17,000.
00:17:37And you bring her in with you.
00:17:39Yeah.
00:17:40Aren't you great?
00:17:41Yeah, I think I will take that one.
00:17:43But, Gaby, the baby, it's due any day now.
00:17:46I'm already overdue.
00:17:47Baby, the baby.
00:17:48That baby is going to be the Bain Marie for life.
00:17:51So, what are your thoughts on the flat screen?
00:17:53You're amazing.
00:17:54Um, I think I'll take the more expensive one.
00:17:57Do you come with it?
00:17:58No.
00:17:59I don't want to wear make-up.
00:18:00It's not make-up.
00:18:01It's power base, lip gloss for guys.
00:18:04All the power brokers wear it.
00:18:05It looks stu-
00:18:06Does Donald Trump look stupid?
00:18:08Oh, that's Tina's present.
00:18:10She's got a great sense of humour.
00:18:12It's gas for the birth.
00:18:13We'll give it a go.
00:18:14Yeah, give it a go.
00:18:15Yeah, give it a go.
00:18:16It's fun.
00:18:21It's definitely doesn't need your...
00:18:22Yeah, no, no!
00:18:23Oh!
00:18:24God!
00:18:25I wanted some breakers!
00:18:26Oh!
00:18:27Kimmy, Kimmy!
00:18:28Look at me!
00:18:29Look at me!
00:18:30Look at me!
00:18:31Look at me!
00:18:32I'm gonna get a go!
00:18:33I'm gonna get a go!
00:18:34I'm gonna get a go!
00:18:35I'm gonna get a go!
00:18:36I'm gonna get a go!
00:18:37I'm gonna get a go!
00:18:38I'm gonna get a go!
00:18:39Kimmy, it's beautiful.
00:18:40You know, it's what God made us for Kimmy.
00:18:41It's beautiful.
00:18:42It's natural.
00:18:43It's alright Kimmy.
00:18:45Share it a little.
00:18:46Share it a little.
00:18:47Okay?
00:18:48It's hideous!
00:18:49It's unnatural!
00:18:50Go to Boston!
00:18:52AHHHHH!
00:18:54AHHHHH!
00:18:56Food is a really important element of Kath and Kim.
00:19:00I just love it and I love Kel's, you know, purveyor of fine meats.
00:19:03I love why they just get off on a sausage and everything.
00:19:05Kel is putting all his gourmet drink skills to the test by trying to win the perfect sausage combination in honour of our canubials.
00:19:11Right out of the kitchen, please, girls.
00:19:13You're gonna need all this space.
00:19:14It's braised offal and fennel.
00:19:16What?
00:19:17Foul, Kim.
00:19:18I am not foul!
00:19:21Foul?
00:19:24Idea for sausage.
00:19:26There's enough.
00:19:28Oh!
00:19:29Oh!
00:19:30Oh!
00:19:31Look!
00:19:32This sauce is foul!
00:19:33Exactly, Kim.
00:19:34Chicken, bok chaw, and pine nuts.
00:19:36Kel doll!
00:19:37Where do you want me to put these tangs?
00:19:45Another flickly piccoli.
00:19:46Come on, quick!
00:19:47Oh, that feels nice.
00:19:48What do you got here?
00:19:49Sorry, Kath.
00:19:50It's my piccolo.
00:19:51Oh!
00:19:52My most good moment is...
00:19:54Wedges.
00:20:10I said one!
00:20:11Put that back!
00:20:12I said one!
00:20:13Sharon!
00:20:14You bloody oaf!
00:20:15That was my last low GI squabble!
00:20:17Celine cuisine.
00:20:18It's based on Celine's exact diet.
00:20:20Anyway, doll, I can't talk now.
00:20:21I'm trying to finish the anti-candida diet for tomorrow night's book club.
00:20:24The ozone diet.
00:20:25It's the only way.
00:20:26Kel and I are on the doctor bot's no-carbohydrate diet.
00:20:29Now, what's a percentile?
00:20:31Well, it's air, evidently.
00:20:32Kimmy, you just eat air for two weeks.
00:20:34Kel, blue cheese?
00:20:35Yep, 99% fat-free.
00:20:37It's new.
00:20:38Oh, Kel, that means we're gonna have double healthy.
00:20:40I'm gonna have a taste now.
00:20:42Ooh.
00:20:43Oh, it looks rich.
00:20:44It's okay.
00:20:45I've used f***ing fat.
00:20:46And I can do my hundred-a-polland dressing.
00:20:48It's no jewels.
00:20:49Alright.
00:20:50Look at all my cheeses.
00:20:51I've got your baby cheeses.
00:20:52You're bigger.
00:20:53Coon.
00:20:54They're beautiful cheese singles.
00:20:55They're super diet liquid for you.
00:20:56Come on, babe.
00:20:57Twisty fingers.
00:20:58And so, listen up.
00:21:00That really is nice taste.
00:21:01Is that sicko?
00:21:02That's sicko.
00:21:03Phil Granger, Maggie, beer, Kylie Kwong and...
00:21:06Shannon!
00:21:07Katie, Katie, me next.
00:21:08A bottle of the truffle oil, please.
00:21:10And Katie, how's my verdure selling?
00:21:12Thrive, Maggie.
00:21:13That's fantastic.
00:21:14Yes.
00:21:15What, I have a club sandwich, some fries, a glass of rice-ling.
00:21:19And what in-house movies do you have?
00:21:20I feel like something healthy.
00:21:22What about some fruit, Kim?
00:21:23Good idea.
00:21:24Can you get me a cherry ripe?
00:21:25Sure.
00:21:26Jumbo size.
00:21:27There's sure one day I'd like to be a franchisee, Kim.
00:21:30Yeah, we look more like a chimp.
00:21:32You look more like a chimpanzee today.
00:21:42I've got your jats, your rits, your clicks.
00:21:45What about your Savoies, Mrs. D?
00:21:47They just confuse people.
00:21:48Sharon, here you go, Doc.
00:21:49Oh, shit.
00:21:51Kath, you're a chicken f***.
00:21:53Finish the pastitses, make the cabbage rolls.
00:21:56And it's an emu volabot with a green ant coolie.
00:21:59I mean, alright.
00:22:01I'm on the wrong side of 25, so shoot me.
00:22:03I'm starving.
00:22:05Pittybix.
00:22:06Dippitybix.
00:22:07Dippitybix.
00:22:08Dippitybix.
00:22:09Crack over the T-Maria.
00:22:10T-Maria.
00:22:11T-Maria.
00:22:12The T-Maria.
00:22:13Diet.
00:22:14Open T-Maria.
00:22:15I'll get the Footy Franks show.
00:22:16Footy Franks.
00:22:17Footy Franks.
00:22:18Footy Franks.
00:22:19Footy Franks.
00:22:20Fat free footy Franks.
00:22:21Little boy's yummy.
00:22:22Little boy?
00:22:23Have a bl-
00:22:24G'day, Brett.
00:22:26Back again.
00:22:27See anything that blows your skirt up?
00:22:30I love this one.
00:22:32Is that near Madison Avenue?
00:22:34Yeah, right next door.
00:22:35As soon as the overpass goes in, Brett, I can get you a fantastic deal on that.
00:22:38F*** in.
00:22:39Nah, I'll just finish my cheese.
00:22:41You might squ-
00:22:42Get your scroll, Brett.
00:22:43Come in.
00:22:44I can't.
00:22:45I've got to get back to work.
00:22:46Don't worry about work, Brett.
00:22:47Come in.
00:22:48Nah, my wife's waiting for me.
00:22:49Don't worry about your wife, Brett.
00:22:50Don't worry about me.
00:22:51I haven't got any money.
00:22:52Don't worry about money, Brett.
00:22:53Come in.
00:22:54Okay, feel the burn right down to this jab jab.
00:22:57Away you go.
00:22:58One, two, three, four.
00:22:59Woo!
00:23:00Woo!
00:23:01Woo!
00:23:02Woo!
00:23:03Woo!
00:23:04Woo!
00:23:05Woo!
00:23:07Woo!
00:23:08Woo!
00:23:09Woo!
00:23:10Woo!
00:23:11Woo!
00:23:12Woo!
00:23:13Woo!
00:23:14Woo!
00:23:15Woo!
00:23:16Woo!
00:23:17Woo!
00:23:18Woo!
00:23:19Woo!
00:23:20Woo!
00:23:21Woo!
00:23:22Woo!
00:23:23Woo!
00:23:40Woo!
00:23:41Woo!
00:23:43Hyperbolic, are you fighting?
00:23:45Oh...
00:23:46Sorry!
00:23:48Sorry!
00:23:51Uh, Kel.
00:23:52Kel.
00:23:53Kel.
00:23:59It was Kel's out here.
00:24:01When we see Kel, through the majority of the series,
00:24:03he's got a placid sponge.
00:24:05He takes it all in.
00:24:06Kel, can you take my belly in, please?
00:24:08I'm just gonna go and put the bins out.
00:24:09Gotta get all those bottles.
00:24:10I'll give you a hand with the bins first.
00:24:12At the heart of the entire series,
00:24:14is actually love.
00:24:15Because he would not let anybody
00:24:18do or say anything against the woman he loves.
00:24:25There comes to a point in your career
00:24:26where you're in a hit comedy show
00:24:28where you can punch out the leading crooner of the day.
00:24:37Kel Knight's a superhero.
00:24:38He's in hat's honor.
00:24:39You're not a freckle.
00:24:40You're a moth.
00:24:42No!
00:24:43Kel!
00:24:44Oh no, stop it!
00:24:45Stop it!
00:24:46Get out of there, Kel.
00:24:47Get out of there, Kel.
00:24:48Just give me the sausage maker.
00:24:49Do you give in?
00:24:50Do you give in?
00:24:51Do you give in?
00:24:54Get off me, Gary.
00:24:55Great.
00:24:56Get off her pool, you please.
00:24:57Kel!
00:24:58That holds me over a barrel.
00:24:59No, Kel!
00:25:01He's a bit of a knight in shining armor.
00:25:03Get off me!
00:25:04No!
00:25:05Shut up!
00:25:06Kel!
00:25:07He's like in sh-
00:25:08Plebber.
00:25:10You find the divorce papers!
00:25:11Look!
00:25:13Gary saw them!
00:25:15Oh sorry, Gary!
00:25:16I'll call you a cab!
00:25:17Sorry!
00:25:18I've seen Eric Banner get into fist cuffs with Kel at the train station.
00:25:21One of my f*** scenes of all time.
00:25:23Don't walk away from me, you little turd!
00:25:25What?
00:25:28Kel, stop it!
00:25:29No!
00:25:30Kel!
00:25:31Stop it!
00:25:32Kel!
00:25:33He's the Incredible Hulk!
00:25:34Oh my god!
00:25:35Are you finished, Mike?
00:25:36Kel!
00:25:37Stop it!
00:25:38Eric, watch out!
00:25:39Oh, Kel!
00:25:40Stop it!
00:25:41He's going green!
00:25:43To be honest, I thought I was prepared.
00:25:44I thought I'd be able to handle Kel today.
00:25:46I did get scared because he's fast.
00:25:48I'd put him in the same category as a...
00:25:50as a...
00:25:51or anyone really.
00:25:52He's fast, he's accurate, he's very strong,
00:25:53trying to keep his arms at bay.
00:25:55I'm quite sick from that.
00:25:56He's a guy that's...
00:25:57He's a bloke.
00:25:59You know, I handle me every day.
00:26:00So I handle Kel every night.
00:26:01So when it comes to moving buddies around,
00:26:03I know what I'm doing.
00:26:04And I think I gave, you know,
00:26:05kind of a bit of a fright.
00:26:12Tonight on Hard Quiz,
00:26:14Catherine, cafe owner.
00:26:16Expert subject, Cat and Kim.
00:26:19Cat and Kim premiered on the ABC in 2002.
00:26:23The year after senior executives at which network
00:26:26lost faith in the project?
00:26:28Funnily enough, I thought the ABC also
00:26:31very nearly pulled the plug on it in pre-production.
00:26:34So I'm going to say that maybe before that
00:26:37it was Channel 7.
00:26:39Incorrect.
00:26:41It was the ABC.
00:26:44What?
00:26:45That was mean.
00:26:46In 2001, just before filming started,
00:26:49the ABC tried to cancel the show.
00:26:51So in the end, it was made by the drama department
00:26:54because the comedy cardigans at the ABC weren't into it.
00:26:58Last question in your set, Catherine.
00:27:01The season one finale ends with the marriage of
00:27:04Cat Day to Kel Knight despite Kim building a statue
00:27:07of Eddie Cheezers.
00:27:08Miss hearing Cat's request for a statue of whom?
00:27:10Who's Steelers, Rachel?
00:27:12Baby Jesus.
00:27:13No.
00:27:14Correct.
00:27:15Double points to you.
00:27:16Got yourself in the game there.
00:27:18Are you Cat or Kim?
00:27:19I'm anybody, depending on the situation.
00:27:24I can also be Pooh and Trude.
00:27:26Okay.
00:27:27The episode.
00:27:28Well, who else could see television's highest rating
00:27:32comedy ever?
00:27:33The star.
00:27:34Kath and Kim!
00:27:35The star.
00:27:36The star.
00:27:37The star.
00:27:38The star.
00:27:39The star.
00:27:40The star.
00:27:41The star.
00:27:42The star.
00:27:43The star.
00:27:44The star.
00:27:45The star.
00:27:46The star.
00:27:47The star.
00:27:48The star.
00:27:49The star.
00:27:50The star.
00:27:51The star.
00:27:52The star.
00:27:53The star.
00:27:54The star.
00:27:55The star.
00:27:56The star.
00:27:57The star.
00:27:58The star.
00:27:59The star.
00:28:00The star.
00:28:01Oh, look, hello, Pouples.
00:28:05Oh, look, I want to thank you all for inviting us here tonight.
00:28:10My name's Kath Day-Knight and this is daughter Kim.
00:28:13Oi.
00:28:14What's the matter?
00:28:16What's the matter, Kim?
00:28:17I've just seen Bud Tingwell is wearing exactly the same outfit as me.
00:28:21Oh, don't be so stupid as if.
00:28:25Bud wouldn't be seen dead in pale blue.
00:28:28And he always likes to drop waste for these big events.
00:28:31I know what I saw, Mum.
00:28:32I'm not as stupid as I look.
00:28:35Oh, actually, look at the time.
00:28:36Oh, my God, I've got to go and move the barine.
00:28:39In a one hour over near the Pollywood side because I couldn't, you know.
00:28:42You could pay.
00:28:43It wouldn't kill you.
00:28:44No, I wouldn't pay, not out of principle, but I'd better go.
00:28:46Lucky I'm wearing my flatties.
00:28:47So, listen, if we get lost tonight, M-A-W, OK?
00:28:50Yeah, all right.
00:28:51Now, come on, look at me.
00:28:52Look at me.
00:28:53Look at me.
00:28:53Look at me.
00:28:57Now, look at the audience.
00:28:59Now, look at the autocue.
00:29:01Now, what's up next?
00:29:02Because I didn't bring my glasses.
00:29:05Oh, Kim.
00:29:08What, Mum?
00:29:09You look beautiful.
00:29:10You look just like Mariah Carey.
00:29:14I can't believe it.
00:29:15How many cars you lost?
00:29:16What did you do?
00:29:17Oh, willpower, Mum.
00:29:18She will power.
00:29:19Good girl, Kim.
00:29:20Good girl.
00:29:20Thanks, Mum.
00:29:21Oh, Sharon, that was my last back free fruit.
00:29:23She was going to be my tea.
00:29:25Well, I didn't make him.
00:29:26I'm starving.
00:29:27You know I'm the indoor cricket.
00:29:28You know that makes me ravish you.
00:29:30Well, you know I have to lose 10 kilos before the wedding.
00:29:32You know I've got to wear spaghetti straps.
00:29:34Hello?
00:29:35You just don't think I'm the chair, Ray?
00:29:36I do think.
00:29:37I think.
00:29:38I think.
00:29:39But, Mum, it's my whole problem.
00:29:43My name is Marion.
00:29:44I'm looking forward to know you.
00:29:46You're desperate to get to know me single.
00:29:50Plays the organ.
00:29:52One cat.
00:29:52Oh, Marion, you're boob.
00:29:54Yes.
00:29:55Oh, I think you've done half already.
00:29:57I think we need a couple making love.
00:30:02Two dead sticks.
00:30:03Isn't it your job to check everything?
00:30:05Yes, yes, it is.
00:30:06Why didn't you, you know?
00:30:08Yes, I see a very angry cow.
00:30:10Good.
00:30:10Damn right.
00:30:11Let it out.
00:30:12Come on.
00:30:12Other words, cat.
00:30:13I'm unprofessional for a start.
00:30:15Yes, good cat.
00:30:17Shonk.
00:30:17Quack.
00:30:18Yes.
00:30:18Yes.
00:30:19Amor, show me your frustrate.
00:30:22Fool.
00:30:23Accentric.
00:30:24Um, but they're dressings.
00:30:26Yes.
00:30:26Hey.
00:30:26No, you're just getting used to it.
00:30:28Oh, I'm sorry, Marion.
00:30:29What do you see here?
00:30:31A man and a woman locked in a passionate embrace.
00:30:34A wet ex and a squeegee.
00:30:37Oh.
00:30:38And how was that?
00:30:39Yeah.
00:30:40That was amazing, Marion.
00:30:41Some really surprising.
00:30:42Her skin, her hair, lumps and bumps.
00:30:44It was like discovering a new person.
00:30:46You did get a little bit lost there for a moment.
00:30:49Oh, sorry, Marion.
00:30:50No, no, no.
00:30:51That's fine.
00:30:52I'm used to it.
00:30:54Your kimono seems to have come loose.
00:30:58It's all part of the therapy.
00:30:59Mine.
00:31:00Not yours.
00:31:01Oh, really?
00:31:02But it's given me a brilliant idea.
00:31:04Let's have a powwow.
00:31:06Anyone for Jarrah?
00:31:07Anyone for a mug of Jarrah?
00:31:08Anyone for Jarrah?
00:31:09No, a cup of Jarrah.
00:31:11I have no official accreditation marriage celebrant.
00:31:14But how?
00:31:15Why would I stand, Marion?
00:31:17Well, I was thrown out of the course from the orthodox methods.
00:31:21See, I have no official accreditation marriage celebrant.
00:31:38If your relationship is in the doldrum, I can help.
00:31:43Help me now.
00:31:44ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:31:49Welcome to 1010!
00:33:51Well.
00:33:55Oh, I've still got a thumping headache.
00:33:58I'm never drinking again.
00:34:00More Baileys, Kim?
00:34:01Yes, thanks.
00:34:04This is nice, isn't it?
00:34:06I'm never drinking again.
00:34:14More Baileys, Kim?
00:34:15Yes, thanks.
00:34:17Okay.
00:34:18Yeah, we were just pissed.
00:34:33Oh, I've got a thumping headache.
00:34:38I'm never drinking again.
00:34:40More Baileys, Kim?
00:34:41Oh, sorry.
00:34:42Can I start again?
00:34:44Shit.
00:34:46Here we go.
00:34:48And…
00:34:49Stop it.
00:34:50Here we go.
00:34:51And…
00:34:52Action.
00:34:53Sorry.
00:34:54Sorry.
00:34:55Sorry.
00:34:56Okay.
00:34:57I can't.
00:35:02It's terrible.
00:35:03Alright.
00:35:04Here.
00:35:05I'm going now.
00:35:06I have to take my sip of my drink.
00:35:07Action.
00:35:10I've still got a thumping headache.
00:35:12I'll give her drinking again.
00:35:14More Baileys, Kim?
00:35:15Yes, thanks.
00:35:17That was a plane.
00:35:19Yes.
00:35:20That'll be Kel.
00:35:23Cut!
00:35:25Yeah.
00:35:26No, no.
00:35:27Yeah.
00:35:31Okay, I'll take a nap.
00:35:35Okay, I'll take a nap.
00:35:36Oh, no.
00:35:38Okay, I'll take a nap.
00:35:39You're getting off.
00:35:40Okay.
00:35:41Yeah.
00:35:42Fine.
00:35:43Come on.
00:35:44Okay, I'll take a nap.
00:35:45Of course.
00:35:46I'll take a nap.
00:35:47Let's have a nap.
00:35:48Let's have a nap.
00:35:49Yeah.
00:36:50I did a wobbly sausage out there.
00:36:58I don't know what you know to say.
00:37:04Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary.
00:37:06Pull your weasel.
00:37:07One of the few times I've ever been recognised in my life ever since was Gary Poole.
00:37:10I was in Soho, London and a man-cup tour.
00:37:12Excuse me, Gary Poole from Gary Poole's Poole's.
00:37:14And I said yes.
00:37:15Get a pussycat.
00:37:16I don't think you've got the wrong room.
00:37:19I don't think so.
00:37:20Here's your fags, Kath.
00:37:23Gary?
00:37:24Oh, Gary, don't have another pulp or cholesterol.
00:37:26Give it a bone, Kath.
00:37:28Give it a bone.
00:37:29Is it better, Gary?
00:37:30Shhh.
00:37:31Where is your fags?
00:37:32Come on, Kath.
00:37:34It's not Bushwick.
00:37:35Come on, Kath.
00:37:36It's not Bushwick.
00:37:37My clothes aren't just going to pack themselves, you know?
00:37:40It's Gary Poole's daughter, Kim.
00:37:42Here she is, Gary.
00:37:43Poole.
00:37:44Fat little grunter.
00:37:45That's just baby fat, Gary.
00:37:46She'll lose that.
00:37:47Plain as a narrowroot biscuit.
00:37:49Anywho, I'm off to honking.
00:37:54What now?
00:37:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:37:55I'm surprised to learn he had a daughter, Kim.
00:37:58Who?
00:37:59Kim, Gary, your daughter.
00:38:01Dad?
00:38:02Dad, it's Kim.
00:38:03Your little princess.
00:38:05Still as plain as a narrowroot biscuit.
00:38:08Well, like a Western's wagon will, actually.
00:38:11Whose birthday is tomorrow?
00:38:12She's 25.
00:38:1325?
00:38:14Yes.
00:38:14She's had a hard life.
00:38:15I can't believe we'll play Gary Poole's son wrong.
00:38:23It was one of the great moments.
00:38:25I did it myself.
00:38:26Stuntmen still ring me up.
00:38:27Asked me who did it.
00:38:28I said I did.
00:38:29Oh, g'day, spunky.
00:38:31What's your name?
00:38:32I'm Sharon.
00:38:33Sharon Strzycki.
00:38:34Oh, that's a pretty name for a pretty girl.
00:38:37Oh, she's going all red.
00:38:39Made it go red.
00:38:41You're a bit shy.
00:38:42I like that.
00:38:43Do you reckon you'll get a ride today?
00:38:44Oh, I hope so, Sharon.
00:38:46And maybe later on, I'll get on a horse.
00:38:48Get it?
00:38:48Get it?
00:38:49Oh, yeah.
00:38:51My name's Damien.
00:38:52But it's the hoise.
00:38:53That's what I'm doing for, the hoise.
00:38:55Why are you?
00:38:56Do you see the hoise?
00:38:57Oh, Sharon.
00:38:59Oh, it should have been me.
00:39:01Oh, no.
00:39:03Hi, my name's Daryl.
00:39:04Oh, there's Daryl.
00:39:05Daryl, come with you.
00:39:06Hey.
00:39:07How are you?
00:39:08Hello, girls.
00:39:09How are you doing?
00:39:09Prue, you look stunning.
00:39:10I've never seen you with Libby on before.
00:39:12G'day, Daryl.
00:39:13What can I do you for?
00:39:13Yes, I'm up for some pro bonos.
00:39:15Sure we can work something out?
00:39:17Oh, hello, mister.
00:39:18Everything's set for tomorrow?
00:39:20The wedding's off.
00:39:21Again?
00:39:23What?
00:39:24Didn't the Japanese last like you in the powder blue?
00:39:26I thought you looked stunning in it myself.
00:39:28What would I know?
00:39:28I've never seen this 20 years.
00:39:30Oh, no.
00:39:31Oh, no.
00:39:31Oh, no.
00:39:31Oh, no.
00:39:32Oh, no.
00:39:32Oh, no.
00:39:33Oh, no.
00:39:33Oh, no.
00:39:34Oh, no.
00:39:34Oh, no.
00:39:35Oh, no.
00:39:35Oh, no.
00:39:35Oh, no.
00:39:36Oh, no.
00:39:36Oh, no.
00:39:36Oh, no.
00:39:37Oh, no.
00:39:37Oh, no.
00:39:38You're beautiful.
00:39:39Congratulations.
00:39:39No, I haven't finished yet.
00:39:40No.
00:39:40Thanks, Lynn.
00:39:41Are you interested in coming along to one of our regular little gatherings?
00:39:43It's a sort of an alternative retailers association.
00:39:46Just us boys.
00:39:48It's called Fruits and Suits.
00:39:49It's a hoot.
00:39:50That one's 699.
00:39:51There's been coming, that scene, hasn't it?
00:39:53Is it?
00:39:53It's kind of come to a head between the two.
00:39:54Do you have any idea what's been going on between us?
00:39:57A bit close.
00:39:57Yeah?
00:39:58Crushing into your personal space?
00:39:59That's the idea.
00:40:01Oh.
00:40:01I've never seen one of those before.
00:40:03Hmm.
00:40:03I've done anything.
00:40:05Mr. Fuckall, you're in luck.
00:40:07the powder blue is available i'm in love with sandy freckle and i'm getting you coming
00:40:16g'day g'day g'day sandy freckle we're getting married next week kill your lilo
00:40:23your lilo's being blown away by the way but kelvin there's something i've been meaning
00:40:27to tell you i want to have sandy's baby sorry kill mate but this one's for real
00:40:33jack and if i could do that time i would but you know kill hindsight's a wonderful word
00:40:41that's all tonight cheers
00:40:55i'm in a way hayley auditions now kim look at scott he's got a one to pay you leave
00:41:00hey no scott just go please
00:41:06it's a thought i'll show you with another bit that's me
00:41:08yeah well you give off paranormal things to guys
00:41:11yeah well i'm here for you go
00:41:13well come here you great hunker
00:41:19good acting really bad acting
00:41:23kim kim kim kim kim kim kim kim kim kim kim kim kim not a wife i'm a hornag
00:41:29if you don't like kim it's because you can't handle a
00:41:32god the crime is humanity to keep this locked up i look like kate moss in this
00:41:37god you've got a bit of kate moss sticking out there kim
00:41:40posh i'm not posh
00:41:42so kim she's definitely a hornbag he is every day sexy
00:41:46where's the toilet paper i'm not using that bidet it's incredible to have a character that is
00:41:51swimming to everyone i'll get stuff i'll get stuff i'll get stuff the period
00:41:56you can get stuff the period oh it's stuff he's all there sharon wake up
00:42:00oh
00:42:07oh i'm boring mate people are dead i'm okay you're okay no i'm okay you're a dickhead don't
00:42:17light light off scarring oil hey mum your breath sticks have you cleaned your tooth thank you kim
00:42:23isn't that exciting am i gonna be a sharon hello hello hello
00:42:28i don't think so anyway to me she's entitled but you love her because i don't know she just tells
00:42:35like this she's completely her person and just thinks she's great you know that i'm married
00:42:40blow it out you're a
00:42:44the way she rates herself as a human i would try the confidence of kim you look a bit of a fashion
00:42:48victim thank you sharon i troll i blitzed the interview so you're not stupid kim who said i was
00:42:55oh no if you ask again you won't get a yaoi oh you're gonna make a top mom kim
00:43:03wait definitely not about you shh if we stop whinging it's mommy's turn now you know i've always seen
00:43:08myself as a door bitch for your information mum i do have a date a sticky day you actually lose more
00:43:14just eating the cabbage what if you need it you rot
00:43:22wasn't me what's happening hey kimmy where are your buccaneers what on your head
00:43:30hey kim this is my daughter brie if you're a pirate where are your buccaneers on my head brie
00:43:40i was doing a gig in afghanistan for troops and uh i was being at kandahai airport where i was being
00:43:47taken i think to tarant out the sas our special praise group of the hardest men in australia and i
00:43:52was sitting in a hangar with these men waiting and the flight was delayed so they said why we
00:43:56got something and i swear this is true they pulled out an old copy of kathleen kim they put it on
00:44:01and the first image that came up was me walking out in a computer it was an awkward moment for me
00:44:08surrounded by the toughest men australia i still this day don't know if they did that deliberately
00:44:12but in that breakfast scene and you don't see in that clip that me and glenn had a half hour
00:44:16conversation about how white my kimono should be opened and eventually settled on about two and a
00:44:22half inches from the navel down but the little detail people may not listen gaze into you think it's
00:44:26this is the swing of a kimono you can do upcast kimono it's not a pretty sight
00:44:42the best vibe today just baby
00:44:49it's a hard bit now
00:45:02as i know hi how are you boring
00:45:05yes i'm robin robinson i work with brandon yes young brandon actually oh here's robin here comes
00:45:11robin i'm a bit scared hello robin i need to be scripted totally scripted
00:45:14are you and me would you bring pastitsies for the happy nightly bleeds or just something cold
00:45:27i want you to improv
00:45:27i want you to improv
00:45:45the downstairs department are you with me
00:45:47What I'm most interested in about is my keys.
00:46:17Yeah!
00:46:25F-F-F-F-F!
00:46:29You gonna call a cut?
00:46:31Coojo, Coo-Jay, Coo-Jay, Coo-Jay, Coo-Jay's into love.
00:46:34Yes, she's a bitch too!
00:46:37Oh! Eppony's such a beautiful little girl!
00:46:40Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
00:46:43Hey, it's not that bad, right?
00:46:45We are trying, okay?
00:46:47I know we've shot it before, we had to do it again.
00:46:49But we're giving it a go.
00:46:51Yeah, well we don't like your work that much either, quite frankly.
00:46:54I'm not interested in my mother's love life, which I find repulsive in the extreme.
00:46:58Dog wants to...
00:47:00My giddy up!
00:47:02There it is, Kudo.
00:47:03Pretty girl.
00:47:04Pretty girl.
00:47:06You know, Satan's hell, dog.
00:47:09Dog out.
00:47:13I know you are, Kudo.
00:47:15I've moved on after you.
00:47:16Kudo pissing on the bush out the front.
00:47:19On cue.
00:47:21And killing the bush.
00:47:23On television, actually.
00:47:25We could actually get a duck to do that on cue.
00:47:30Breathe.
00:47:32And let it go.
00:47:34And any little niggles you might have about the baby or anything.
00:47:38Any worries.
00:47:39Don't be shy.
00:47:40You can talk here.
00:47:41Let it go.
00:47:46Hi.
00:47:47I'm Sharon.
00:47:48Sharon Strzecki.
00:47:50I've broken my fibula five times.
00:47:52I have hives.
00:47:53And a cold sore.
00:47:55I was recently retrenched to the Commonwealth Games here.
00:47:58And desperately...
00:48:00LIFE.
00:48:01LIFE.
00:48:02Let it go.
00:48:06Let it go.
00:48:07Sharon.
00:48:08Sharon.
00:48:09Sharon.
00:48:10Sharon.
00:48:11Oh, hi, Sharon.
00:48:12Oh, Sharon.
00:48:13I have my second bridesma.
00:48:14Oh, yeah, not too bad.
00:48:15Bit of afraid.
00:48:16Poor Sharon.
00:48:17She's always got, like, an eye patch on.
00:48:19Or, like, some kind of weird patch patch.
00:48:24Hi, Mrs. D.
00:48:25Sharon, don't you look lovely in your festinator.
00:48:27What are you next for?
00:48:28Oh, I've been shopping, Kim.
00:48:29How is your eye, love?
00:48:30Yeah, that's better.
00:48:31First ring's stopped.
00:48:32What's happened to your wrist, Sharon?
00:48:33Is that your carpal tunnel flaring up again?
00:48:34Oh, no, Mrs. D.
00:48:35It's my CSI from too much computer.
00:48:36Oh, is that your hives flaring up again, Sharon?
00:48:37Oh, no, Mrs. D.
00:48:38It's not my hives.
00:48:39They are not hives!
00:48:40They are wealth, Kim!
00:48:41From my carbuncle!
00:48:42Do you know my good eye's been bad ever since I copped a f**k ball in the face of baseball
00:48:45all that time?
00:48:46I walked across hot coals.
00:48:47Oh, is that what we're looking, love?
00:48:48Yes.
00:48:49Fortunately, the bottom of my tracky-dacks caught f**k.
00:48:50It's only a third-degree burn, so...
00:48:51Oh, well, that's nice, isn't it, Sharon?
00:48:52Oh, well, that's nice, isn't it, Sharon?
00:48:53Well, that's nice.
00:48:54Oh, well, that's nice, isn't it, Sharon?
00:48:55Oh, well, that's nice.
00:48:56Oh, well, that's nice.
00:48:57Oh, well, that's nice.
00:48:58Oh, well, that's nice.
00:48:59Oh, well, that's nice.
00:49:00Oh, well, that's nice.
00:49:01Maybe a skinny latte and skinny cheesecake with double skinny cream.
00:49:14I am gunning for godmother.
00:49:20Oh, Kim, am I a bit burnt?
00:49:22I don't know.
00:49:23Oh, no.
00:49:32Hey!
00:49:33High price!
00:49:47Oh, that's a good bit.
00:49:48Oh, that is.
00:49:49They all look amazing.
00:49:51Amazing. This is the other thing with this show. Oh my gosh. Take a bow. Wardrobe. I don't know how many options you close down.
00:49:57Kino's balls and gum nut babies and stuff. But it's a treat. It's a visual treat.
00:50:02It's like dressing up dolls but it's taking a way too far.
00:50:11AFI award winning costume designer Kitty Stucky.
00:50:17Excuse me, how long is Santa going to be? Because it's their series due back at half past the 22nd.
00:50:20I can't give a four man. He's on his allocated break. I'm sorry I'm going there unless I'm sure I'll be.
00:50:25Santa must be doing number two sets.
00:50:27Epony Ray.
00:50:28Epony, Epony.
00:50:29Lepony.
00:50:29Stop whinging Epony, it's mummy's turn.
00:50:33Look at mum.
00:50:33As it should be, Epony is now the fuckers of my life.
00:50:36And no surprises, she's a gifted child.
00:50:38I met Ray.
00:50:39Because I'm a fit.
00:50:41Um, for when I was playing Epony.
00:50:43V1?
00:50:43Hmm.
00:50:44Although my role was fine-sized in Epony, the way it's changed as Leah is Michael's involved in.
00:50:49Now, Kimmy, look at me please. Look at me.
00:50:51Now, Sharon, look at me.
00:50:53Now, Epony, right, look at me.
00:50:55Epony, look at me, please, Epony.
00:50:58Uh, I'll do a scat version of the United Australia Fair.
00:51:31Could I just say that one more time?
00:51:44Oh, I'm sorry.
00:51:49Aw!
00:51:50Aw!
00:51:51Aw!
00:51:52Aw!
00:51:53Awake.
00:51:54Awake.
00:51:55Awake.
00:51:56Awake.
00:51:57Awake.
00:51:58Can you take that back there?
00:51:59It's gone there all the time.
00:52:04And action.
00:52:07What are you doing with stuns, Kat?
00:52:14Just do him.
00:52:17Oh, I need to go to the toilet.
00:52:22I need to go to the toilet.
00:52:25What are you all tizzed up for?
00:52:28Are you going up?
00:52:29I'm going to the boat show with Kel.
00:52:31The boat show?
00:52:32I thought you were going to sex boat.
00:52:33No, that's next week.
00:52:34We're going to spend a couple of days.
00:52:37And if Patty is watching this morning, she'll be hearing this for the first time.
00:52:46I mean, I've been happily married for almost 30 years now.
00:52:49But one of these girls really turns me on.
00:52:53I just hope I can control myself.
00:52:55Ladies and gentlemen,
00:52:56Kath.
00:52:57Kath.
00:52:58Kath.
00:52:59Kath.
00:53:00Kath.
00:53:01The essence of Kath tonight is tizzy.
00:53:02So what do you think, Kim?
00:53:03Catch where clutch all the personalised.
00:53:08Cerner's in a creamys gear me uz
00:53:21to keep my trim? Does it make me a cream to keep myself trim?
00:53:27This big reading thinks is also an essence.
00:53:35Yes, that's it.
00:53:39Sorry.
00:53:48Now the one would say to you, Kim,
00:53:49go back to Brick Tootsweet. I need you Tootsweet.
00:53:51Hey, come on Tootsweet.
00:53:52Or upstairs we get a boomerang pillow.
00:53:54Put my bedroom please. Tootsweet.
00:53:56Come on. Come on Tootsweet, how'd you go?
00:53:58Tootsweet.
00:53:59Or we get this name sorted out, Tootsweet as a day.
00:54:01Come on.
00:54:02Kath is my favourite.
00:54:03The way she becomes an ex and everything that she tries to do.
00:54:06But you know, doing a TAFE course in portraiture has been a boon.
00:54:09Look at this, Kim. See?
00:54:10What is it?
00:54:11It's a self-portrait entitled Girl with a parrot earring.
00:54:14See?
00:54:15Well Kel, I didn't do that small business course at TAFE
00:54:18because I was bored at home and had nothing to do.
00:54:20Donkey Root?
00:54:21Donkey Root?
00:54:22Donkey Root?
00:54:23Donkey Root?
00:54:24Hubby 8?
00:54:25I think everybody loves a cat because she cuts through. There's no yes.
00:54:28I don't think you can handle the f**k while your marriage is on the rocks.
00:54:30Get nails off.
00:54:32Oh, stupid gal.
00:54:34What have you got too?
00:54:35Oh, Octopussy's bow.
00:54:36I tell Sharon this marriage cape has really got me on the hop.
00:54:39I read somewhere, Gary, that the more I smoke, the smaller the baby will be
00:54:43and I'll get my figure back.
00:54:44Tizzy also suggests me loves the night on the razz.
00:54:47You know?
00:54:48She's still a party time girl with a lot of responsibilities.
00:54:50Oh, I think that bubbly taste is better coming up than it did going down.
00:54:54Oh, you get a bit of carrot stuck in your fascinator.
00:54:56Oh.
00:54:57Oh.
00:54:58That's a pretty brooch.
00:55:04Did you get that from Eulala?
00:55:05Rachel?
00:55:06You just sputtered that one.
00:55:08Oh.
00:55:09Oh, well, it sort of goes with your hat, doesn't it?
00:55:11Sort of teams with the theme.
00:55:13That's very nice.
00:55:14Bye-bye.
00:55:16Can you look at me, please?
00:55:19Now, epiny right with me.
00:55:21Epiny.
00:55:22Look at me.
00:55:23Look at me.
00:55:24Look at me.
00:55:25Look at me.
00:55:26I can't.
00:55:27Use other eye.
00:55:28Now, I've got word to say to you, Kim.
00:55:29Morty thickness, reflux, unbearable agony, stitches, and after all that shocking incontinence.
00:55:45Oh.
00:55:46Can I have one of those?
00:55:47You certainly can't.
00:55:48Would you like one too, Kim?
00:55:49Actually, I just took a few bickies from the green room.
00:55:52Yeah, that's okay.
00:55:53I obviously do a few crunches at home.
00:55:55Yeah, I do.
00:55:56Quite a few.
00:55:57On the ass wing.
00:55:58Oh, absolutely.
00:55:59With Patty.
00:56:00Yes.
00:56:01Two or two.
00:56:02Do you have that on your show?
00:56:03Oh, yes, we do.
00:56:04That's right.
00:56:05I bought it through Dan.
00:56:06Oh, gosh.
00:56:07Yeah.
00:56:08That's that one.
00:56:09There you go.
00:56:10Your mum yourself, you'd be able to judge this.
00:56:11Well, what is she like as a mum?
00:56:12As a mum.
00:56:13She's lazy.
00:56:14She's a lazy girl.
00:56:15I'm so stuffed.
00:56:16I don't recognise all of this.
00:56:17Mum taking her to Little Maistress.
00:56:18I'm kicking press in the middle of the night to get up to her.
00:56:21But he's used to that because he used to have to get up and feed me every four hours.
00:56:24Yeah.
00:56:25But it's okay because I'm sleeping through now.
00:56:28Yeah.
00:56:29Oh, yeah.
00:56:30Oh, look.
00:56:31Lot of trouble with the name because I wanted Tiffany.
00:56:33T-Y-P-H-P-H-A-A-T-R-E-E-E.
00:56:35You wanted mefemwe and I didn't want we and my baby's name, you know?
00:56:40Yeah, that was a pretty name, mefemwe.
00:56:43Been staying over some nights and the walls are paper thin and the noise of the snoring.
00:56:47I mean, she's like Shrek.
00:56:48It's like having Shrek next door.
00:56:50Yes, that's good.
00:56:51Yes, well, it's better than the noose the other one.
00:56:53I'm jealous of you, Mum.
00:56:54I'm jealous of you, Mum.
00:56:55I'm jealous of you, Mum.
00:56:56What's so darn wrong with that, Kim?
00:56:57Come on, Bert.
00:56:58Come on, Bert.
00:56:59Doesn't want to vote.
00:57:00I'm sure Bert likes to vote.
00:57:01Please.
00:57:02I want to ask a question to each of you.
00:57:04How has the fame that has come from television affected your mum?
00:57:08Oh, well, you know, she's always been up herself, I'd have to say.
00:57:11So, probably not too much, you know?
00:57:14She goes to the supermarket and lords everybody, you know, trying to get the Dippity Bix.
00:57:18Sure, I like the recognition when I go shopping, when I go into Dottie, I go into Wichery and
00:57:23people recognise me.
00:57:24You should not be going into Dottie or Wichery.
00:57:26I should be.
00:57:27I fit into those clothes, Kim.
00:57:29You have to get them specially ordered in.
00:57:30Excuse me.
00:57:31I'm twenty-
00:57:32I am twenty-four and five-quarters.
00:57:34See what I want to put up with you.
00:57:35What about fame?
00:57:36Has that affected Kim as you see it?
00:57:37Kim.
00:57:38No, Kim's always been a princess.
00:57:39She's always thought that everybody was staring at her.
00:57:40She's quite deluded, actually.
00:57:41Really?
00:57:42Have you forgotten the little p***?
00:57:44Yes.
00:57:45Yes.
00:57:46Look at me, please.
00:57:47Look at me.
00:57:48Look at me.
00:57:49Look at me.
00:57:50Look at me.
00:57:51Look at me.
00:57:52Now I've got one word to sit to you, Kim.
00:57:56Finito.
00:57:57Marriage is over.
00:57:58O-V-A-H.
00:57:59Over.
00:58:00Bye-bye.
00:58:01Bye-bye.
00:58:02Bye-bye.
00:58:03Bye-bye.
00:58:04Bye-bye.
00:58:05Bye-bye.
00:58:06Bye-bye.
00:58:07Bye-bye.
00:58:08Bye-bye.
00:58:09Check your latest buggy.
00:58:10See you later.
00:58:11Bye.
00:58:12See you later.
00:58:13Bye.
00:58:14Bye.
00:58:15Bye.
00:58:16It's over.
00:58:17Finished.
00:58:18Bye-bye.
00:58:19What are you doing?
00:58:20Are you doing all the right things?
00:58:21Yes, Kim.
00:58:22Are you and Brett going for it like hammer and tong?
00:58:24Sorry.
00:58:25Who are hammer and tongs?
00:58:27No, Kim.
00:58:28It's beautiful.
00:58:29Not from where I'm sitting.
00:58:33Where do you want these answers off?
00:58:35In the pantry on the bottom.
00:58:37Yeah, right in the corner.
00:58:38You'll have to bend right over to get in there.
00:58:40Right over.
00:58:41Right over.
00:58:42Right over.
00:58:43A little bit of silent auction news.
00:58:46Unfortunately, table four.
00:58:49It used to be made on item six.
00:58:51It does say 96.
00:58:52I don't know how that happened.
00:58:54And our apologies.
00:58:55Item nine.
00:58:57You do not have to get caught.
00:58:59You do not have to get caught.
00:59:00You do not have to get caught.
00:59:01You do not have to get caught.
00:59:02You do not have to get caught.
00:59:03You do not have to get caught.
00:59:04You do not have to get caught.
00:59:05You do not have to get caught.
00:59:06You do not have to get caught.
00:59:07You do not have to get caught.
00:59:08You do not have to get caught.
00:59:09You do not have to get caught.
00:59:10You do not have to get caught.
00:59:11You do not have to get caught.
00:59:12You do not have to get caught.
00:59:13You do not have to get caught.
00:59:14You do not have to get caught.
00:59:15You do not have to get caught.
00:59:16You do not have to get caught.
00:59:17You do not have to get caught.
00:59:18You do not have to get caught.
00:59:19You do not have to get caught.
00:59:20You do not have to get caught.
00:59:21I have signed the divorce
00:59:31I think I found the answer to my problems, Kim
00:59:41Who you should find the timing's way out?
00:59:44The test of me
00:59:45He wanted to get a
00:59:56Now I've been 29
01:00:07Look at me, look at me, Kim, look at me
01:00:17I've got one way to say it
01:00:19Look at me, look at me
01:00:22I think you're out of the way
01:00:24She said work
01:00:28See, Nick Nolte
01:00:30I think you're out of the way
01:00:37Nicole Nolte
01:00:39He's in his crazy
01:00:46Somebody stop us
01:00:50Stop this
01:00:51It's not
01:00:53No, it's different
01:00:54It's unusual
01:00:55José
01:00:56It's unusual
01:00:57People
01:00:58It's unusual
01:00:59To be noticed
01:01:00She goes
01:01:02I think you about that
01:01:04You lose
01:01:05Evil
01:01:13But
01:01:16You
01:01:18Is
01:01:19So
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