- 2 days ago
Comedian and voice actor Frank Caliendo joins the show to deliver breaking NFL news as several different characters.
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00Delightful to see Frank Caliendo.
00:05That's A-list caliber celebrity in my, yeah.
00:09I'm just smiling just seeing his face.
00:11In my humble opinion.
00:13Frank Caliendo is on the Toyota of Hollywood hotline.
00:16He's one of the funniest comedians alive.
00:18I genuinely believe that.
00:19I said that earlier.
00:20He is all over radio and social media.
00:23His clips go viral all the time.
00:25But if you've never seen him live at a comedy club, you are missing out.
00:28And he is coming to the West coast of Florida at the end of the month.
00:33And it happens to be the perfect weekend because it's the weekend in between the conference
00:38championship games and the Superbowl.
00:41So there's no NFL that weekend.
00:43There's nothing going on that weekend.
00:45So you shoot over for a little weekend, get away in Naples, which is a beautiful area.
00:51And then you enjoy the West coast of Florida and you catch a Caliendo show.
00:55You can go to Frank Caliendo.com.
00:58He has four shows in Naples, two on Friday, January 30th, and two on Saturday, the 31st.
01:06And he's with us now.
01:08Hello, Frank.
01:09Hey guys.
01:10How are you?
01:12You sound a little, uh, you sound a little, uh, lethargic.
01:15You need a little pep in your step.
01:17I just wanted to do the opposite way of your intro.
01:18I just wanted to, I wanted to let you down.
01:20My buddy just texted me that he wanted to start, uh, our podcast back up because of the Tomlin
01:28firing or Tom, not firing, stepping away, stepping away.
01:32Um, and, uh, he does an emotional bill Cower.
01:36That's his impress.
01:37That's he does tons of impressions, John Holmberg, but like he does emotional bill Cower.
01:41That's what, when he accepted, when he finds out on CBS, that he's going to the hall of
01:45fame, but that's he's, it's the S's and that I was, so we're thinking emotional bill Cower,
01:51John Gruden, and the ghost of John Madden all joined forces to, to coach the Steelers.
01:57Can we get a preview maybe of, I'll tell you what, man, you can get more than a preview.
02:01We can do that right now.
02:02Could you imagine me with the steel curtain, man?
02:06I'll tell you what Gruden steel curtain, GSC, is that what that would be?
02:13GSC took me a second to put it together.
02:15Then I, then I was in my mind, making sure that the letters didn't do something bad.
02:21So, well, none of our listeners would have been able to figure it out.
02:25Neither would we tell you what, man.
02:27I'm not, I'm not good with, uh, with abbreviations, uh, salutations.
02:33What would that be called?
02:35Alliteration.
02:35That's two sounds of the beat.
02:37Anything like that, man.
02:39I'll tell you what it's, we didn't hit any of the correct terminology there, but I'll tell
02:44you what spider two wide banana.
02:50Will you break, can you break the Tomlin news for us as Adam Schefter?
02:54So then we can pretend that we actually had Adam Schefter break the Tomlin news with us.
02:59It appears at this time that Mike Tomlin went into a meeting with the Rooney family and the
03:06entire Pittsburgh organization.
03:09And it turned out that they didn't even have to ask him if he was coming back.
03:14He let them know that he was done.
03:17He'd loved his time there.
03:19He'd enjoyed it, but it was time to move on.
03:23He has no immediate idea what he's going to do in the football world, although that is
03:30a definite possibility.
03:31But right now, Mr. Tomlin is going to take time with his family and enjoy the Amazon deliveries.
03:40His wife has been getting.
03:42It's such a perfect chef.
03:45That's crazy.
03:46You know, you do Kuyper.
03:48You know, Crowder's had a run in with, I mean, ever since Crowder was drafted, what?
03:52Oh, five?
03:53Oh, five.
03:54So Kuyper told you.
03:56Guaranteed first round, Frank.
03:58I'm going 22nd at the latest to Green Bay.
04:01I did the math.
04:02I was making $8 million.
04:04I got a million dollar credit line.
04:06I spent up a bunch of money.
04:07I bought a Hummer, and then I went third round, and I spent more than my signing bonus because
04:14Mel Kuyper lied to me.
04:15Can you take into account that I don't actually make the draft picks?
04:19At the end of the day, the teams are the ones making the picks, and a lot of things happen
04:24during the draft.
04:25Other guys slip.
04:27Other guys move up, and that changes the order, and a lot of times, you're trying to figure
04:31out who's going to go where.
04:33A lot of times, these GMs are drinking the night before.
04:38They have no idea whether something's getting into the hookah party, doing something they
04:43shouldn't have been doing.
04:44I know the hookah's fine, but sometimes it gets laced with something.
04:47Somebody puts a little something inside.
04:49A hookah bar's fine, but at the end of the day, if you're getting laced with some sort
04:53of marijuana strain that's a little bit stronger than what you were intending, I think at the
04:59end of the day, you're going to make some lazy picks.
05:02Did it hurt me, Mel, that I got arrested three times in two years, and I was on paper?
05:07I'll tell you what, having a rap sheet doesn't help unless it depends on the fast twitch muscle.
05:14At the end of the day, what's your wingspan?
05:17What's your ability?
05:19Certain things, certain intangibles, and the measurements definitely can bring you back up.
05:27I think if you're a guy in a gas mask smoking weed before a game, that's a definite way
05:33to slide down.
05:34But in a couple of years, you're the kind of guy who could come back and get a second contract.
05:38But definitely somewhere along the way, if you're one arrest, two, three, it's like LeBron
05:44counting championships in the Miami area.
05:48I don't think, and definitely if you're at five, if you run a 4'1", 40, unbelievable hands,
05:56that's the kind of guy who can go maybe four or five arrests.
06:00I mean, if you're at five, four, six, four, seven, as a wide receiver, maybe a 5'1", as
06:09a lineman, and you're under six foot five, I don't think you're going to stay in the first
06:15round.
06:15You had too many arrests for your skill set.
06:18Had you been slightly better, you didn't hit it.
06:20There's a definite correlation.
06:23There's a definite correlation between arrest and skill set that determine the round of
06:28draft that you're going to be in.
06:30Hookah party.
06:31I like a hookah party.
06:33Can we put this to bed?
06:35Because I've been hearing Crowder talk about this for a decade, how angry he is at Mel Kuyper.
06:40Can you just apologize to him as Mel Kuyper so we can move past this stage in his life?
06:46Yeah, I got to say that at the end of the day, I look at everything that making, prognosticating
06:55is not really what I do.
06:56I do future analysis.
06:59Future analysis might be wrong.
07:02Prognostication, on the other hand, it's like Nostradamus doing a tremendous job at ancient
07:08times, letting you know what was coming, spoke vaguely, then wrote it down.
07:12Some of the stuff's lost in translation.
07:14We're not talking about the Bill Murray movie directed by the Coppola lady.
07:17What we're talking about is at the end of the day, this is as good of an apology you're
07:22ever going to get.
07:23There was no apology.
07:24It was a definition of prognosticating and guessing.
07:30But there was no apology.
07:31I would say that's a pretty good apology.
07:33I heard the word apology and I heard from me.
07:37I just, there was something negating it along the way.
07:40I hate to turn this into just a piano bar where we ask you just to do voices and silly
07:46things.
07:47But, you know, hold on.
07:48Speaking of piano bar, you ever see Billy Joel, tremendous job out there in New York.
07:52He's done a great job singing the song of the piano band.
07:55It's nine o'clock on a Saturday.
07:57Regular crowd shuffles in.
08:00He's making love to his tonic and gin.
08:04I feel like that is something Mel Kiper would say.
08:08It's not because you sing us a melody.
08:10I'm not really sure how it goes, but it's sad and sweet and I knew it complete.
08:13And when I wear a younger man's clothes, la-di-da-di-ba, la-di-da.
08:18Now, I can firmly say there is not another radio show on this huge day of breaking news with
08:24Mike Tomlin that has Mel Kiper reciting the lyrics to Piano Man.
08:29I'll tell you what, listen to this, Hawk.
08:32John at the bar is a friend of mine.
08:33He gives me my drinks for free.
08:37I wish Crowder knew the song.
08:41He's quick with the jokes to light up your smokes.
08:43Oh, but that hookah bar.
08:44It's fantastic.
08:46It really is.
08:46Not in my demographic, I guess.
08:48Can we have, I don't know, John Madden tell Tua Tonga-Vailoa that his services are no longer
08:57needed in Miami?
08:59Yeah, I mean, that's the kind of thing that you got a lot of guy down, you know, softly.
09:04You don't, if you, you know, that's a tough, that, and that's not what seems to be happening
09:08in Miami at this time.
09:10You know, the coach, I think, walks in and tells it, or the owner walks in and tells
09:15the coach, hey, I don't think we're going to need you anymore in the middle, you know,
09:20of a, of, of a player evaluation.
09:22And I think that, that's the kind of thing that, I mean, that's just the Miami Dolphins
09:27being the Miami Dolphins.
09:29Can you have Jim Rome tell Tua?
09:32One second, I would think, you would think, they say the Dolphins are great communicators
09:38in the sea, that they, they have ways to talk to each other because they're mammals.
09:42People think they're fish, but they're not.
09:44Dolphins are mammals like whales.
09:46They got a blowhole.
09:47I don't know if a Dolphin has a blowhole, but you know, the Dolphins have a blowhole,
09:53but that's the thing.
09:54They say Dolphins are great communicators, but in the football world, it doesn't seem like
09:59the communication is at the same level.
10:01Are Dolphins great communicators?
10:03I thought whales were.
10:04Dolphins are one of the best.
10:06I had no idea.
10:06Remember, did you ever see Ace Ventura?
10:08Yeah.
10:09Ace Ventura, he talks to the Dolphins.
10:11That's right.
10:11He makes that kind of noise there.
10:15Can we have Jim Rome tell Tua that he's no longer needed in Miami?
10:20Tua, you did a great job when you were upright, but there wasn't enough at that time.
10:26Dude would scramble and then get scrambled.
10:32That is not good.
10:35And that is not Tua Tungavailoa's fault.
10:39Dude was doing the best he could, wasn't getting the protection needed.
10:43The arm was not as strong as people thought.
10:46People thought he had a cannon.
10:48Turns out it was more of just a sawed-off rifle.
10:51How about Pacino?
10:56Can you have Pacino tell Tua to get out of the building?
10:59Yeah.
11:01You know that card you swipe?
11:05It's no good anymore.
11:07You can swipe it, but you're going to get a red light, not a green light.
11:12And you need the green light to get into the building.
11:21I'm going to need your playbook.
11:26If you're watching him on the YouTube stream, it's amazing.
11:30His facial.
11:33It's a whole, it's visual as well.
11:36That's why I say you have to see him in stand-up because he really takes on the persona.
11:41Is that at all similar?
11:42I don't know if you do Joe Biden, but it reminded me a little.
11:45Yeah.
11:45Is that?
11:46Yeah.
11:47Before you were the guy or the thing.
11:50I was a young man who grew up in Scrant, Pennsylvania.
11:53Made a great quarterback.
11:55Via Tungalova.
11:57Via Tungalova.
11:59Great, great young man.
12:01Played for Alabama.
12:03Died in Crimson.
12:03There were folks, there were national champions.
12:10Folks, Jalen Hurts.
12:13They played together, side by side.
12:16Teammates.
12:17Both in the NFL.
12:20Popsicles.
12:26Come on, come on, we've got it.
12:29Come on, come on.
12:33You know, I heard what was going on.
12:38I heard what was going on with the Miami Dolphins.
12:41And I said, I wouldn't handle it that way.
12:44I would handle it much more with compassion.
12:46I'm a compassion guy.
12:47And I said, you don't let the coach go in the middle of an interview.
12:52He's talking to players.
12:53And he said, we're going to, this is what you did well.
12:55And this is what you didn't do well.
12:56And then the owner comes in.
12:57He says, you're not going to talk to these guys anymore.
12:59We're not going to call the coach.
13:02And Tunga.
13:05Tunga.
13:07Tanya.
13:09Tanya Harding.
13:09No, not Tanya Harding.
13:12Tua.
13:13Tua.
13:14Tunga.
13:15Tunga.
13:15Let me get this right.
13:17Tua.
13:18Tunga Viola.
13:20Vala.
13:21Vala.
13:22Vala.
13:23Vala.
13:24That's what a great chef says.
13:28Great chef.
13:29The best chef.
13:29We're the best chefs here at the Waitrose.
13:33And he said, Vala.
13:34Tunga.
13:35Vala.
13:36But we said, as great as what you're doing is, as great as you are, you're not, you're
13:43not making, you're not the proper mix.
13:45You're the wrong chef in the kitchen.
13:46You're the wrong chef in the kitchen.
13:48I said.
13:48And he said, look at that.
13:50We're going to go in a different direction.
13:52We're going to go in a different direction.
13:53And that's what we're doing with Mike McDaniels.
13:57McDaniels?
13:57McDaniels?
13:58McDaniels?
13:59Is there an S?
14:00Is he plural or is he singular?
14:03And a lot of people ask, do you know about Mike McDaniels?
14:05Of course, he did a great job.
14:09He did a great job.
14:10He had a tremendous grasp of the language, like me.
14:15Turned a phrase.
14:16We turned tremendous.
14:17A lot of people are saying, probably the best.
14:21And when a great coach like John Harbaugh becomes available, a lot of people, a lot of
14:27people say, how can we get this guy?
14:29How can we get John Harbaugh?
14:30And everybody starts talking.
14:31When he wasn't available, when there was no John Harbaugh, people said, well, I don't
14:35know if we could find somebody better.
14:37Then John Harbaugh came along and it was like voting him back to be president again.
14:45Oh, my God.
14:47That is wild to watch.
14:50What's the hardest transition, Frank?
14:53From Morgan Freeman to Jim Rome?
14:55Like, there has to be a hard transition to do that like you do.
14:58If two voices are kind of close, then it can get messy, right?
15:02If it's easy to slip into the other one.
15:05If it's like a Morgan Freeman to Jim Rome, that's an easy switch because it's just in the middle there.
15:12You know, if you're trying to go from like John C. Reilly to Mark Ruffalo, that's a little
15:18harder because it's got it's a soft.
15:20Wait a second.
15:21That was John C. Reilly.
15:22I thought that was Barkley.
15:23That was John C. Reilly.
15:24John C. Reilly.
15:25Yeah, that's that's this right here.
15:27Did you touch my drum set?
15:30But I guess I guess that could be pretty close to Charles Barkley.
15:33That's pretty close.
15:34Right.
15:34Bare knuckle here.
15:35I mean, that guy, that guy, Hockman really tried to call me out right there, but he's
15:43got no idea.
15:44He really has no idea what it's talking about.
15:46We've had a long running debate on this show.
15:48I think Step Brothers is one of the least funny movies of all time.
15:52And it's not like you're the smartest guy in the world.
15:58But that line tickled them because they love that movie.
16:01Can a very funny person tell you the truth about Step Brothers?
16:04Well, I don't think Frank is going to be honest in this.
16:07No, I think I think Step Brothers is good.
16:09I mean, it's not one of my favorites, but it's I mean, it's got a lot of quotable, ridiculous
16:14lines and stuff.
16:16I mean, the stuff that they do to each other in that movie, that's the I mean, it's just
16:20antagonistic.
16:22So if you like that kind of stuff, which is what Crowder likes, antagonistic stuff.
16:27Yes.
16:28Yeah.
16:29Yeah.
16:30Diet.
16:30That was better than I could have imagined.
16:35Oh, Naples.
16:36I'm gonna go over.
16:37Well, Frank is going to be in Naples on the 30th and the 31st.
16:40I'm going out there to see him.
16:42But I'm telling you, it's honestly the perfect weekend because there's no football.
16:46I looked because I was like, do I really want to miss a football game?
16:49Then I looked and I was like, oh, there is no football game.
16:51I tried to get a stop in Lauderdale along the way.
16:53I don't know what happened.
16:54So I have to come back in the area at some point.
16:56It's not going to be right now.
16:57But Naples is the closest I'm going to be right now.
17:00This this club off the hook is supposedly actually off the hook.
17:05Well, it's Frank Caliendo dot com if you want to see wherever he is.
17:09I know a lot of people podcast us from all over the place.
17:11So he's got a what did it say on there?
17:13A tour that never really ends.
17:15Yeah, and you can actually just go to Frank on stage dot com.
17:19That way you don't even have to spell Caliendo because in like in southern Florida, I think
17:24people can get it because it's Italian and it's close to, you know, it's closer to Spanish
17:30and stuff like that.
17:31But if you're like in if you're in like when I go to Minnesota, they'd be like, is that
17:37Frank Calamari there?
17:40Yeah, I saw him on the menu.
17:42No, he looked good.
17:43What an appetizer.
17:45Why ski in Minnesota, man?
17:48That's my spot.
17:49Excellent.
17:50Any other.
17:51We're really out of time.
17:53I didn't get to Stephen A.
17:55Smith.
17:55I understand that your time is valuable, but that's what we're going to be today.
18:01I didn't get the same wind down.
18:04I understand.
18:05You know what I love about the Trump?
18:06I love that the Trump.
18:07It was like the low energy, just kind of chopping it up.
18:11Trump.
18:11It's very quiet.
18:12A lot of people do the over-the-top Trump, but I said, there's no need.
18:18Quite frankly, I'm very close to being a ventriloquist.
18:21I had a record when I was a little boy, when I was a young man, I had a record that was
18:29Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy, and they taught you how to do ventriloquism on a record.
18:34And I said, if you can teach, if you can teach me how to do ventriloquism with no visual,
18:41you're tremendous.
18:41All right, we got to go.
18:46Frank Caliendo, he's going to be in Naples, the 30th and the 31st.
18:49I am telling you, I've seen him before in a comedy club.
18:53And I imagine in Naples, like it can't be a giant venue, right?
18:59I mean, no, no, it's like a 300 seat club.
19:02So you really get to see the facial.
19:05What's the word I'm looking for?
19:07I didn't get the facial expressions because it really is spectacular, right?
19:12He becomes the person that he's impersonating.
19:15Let me ask you this, Hawk.
19:16Would you say it's tremendous or fantastic?
19:22What are my choices again?
19:23Multiple choice.
19:24Fantastic, tremendous, or all of the above.
19:27I would go all of the above.
19:30Frank on tour.
19:31Is that what it was?
19:32Frank on tour?
19:33Frank on stage.com.
19:34Frank on stage.com.
19:35I don't know.
19:36I don't know what Frank on tour will get you.
19:38I do.
19:39Because I have that too.
19:41And it's my only Frank page.
19:44The other side.
19:45Jimmy, that's perfect for you.
19:48Frank on stage.com.
19:51I will see you in Naples.
19:52Thank you for making time for us today.
19:54You really whack me.
19:55I am.
19:56Oh, he's out.
19:57Jimmy.
19:58We'll take a break.
19:59Four o'clock hour is next.
Be the first to comment