- 5 weeks ago
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TVTranscript
00:00:00So I'm fighting the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:12Uh, uh.
00:00:19Yeah, him.
00:00:22Hi!
00:00:23Just play along.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Happy New Year!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:02I don't want you to stop.
00:01:04Did I?
00:01:07I don't want you to stop.
00:01:12I don't want you to stop.
00:01:12I don't want you to stop.
00:01:14No matter what happen, I really want you to stop.
00:01:19I don't want you to stop.
00:01:23I was so drunk last night.
00:01:38I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:52Sam, it's me.
00:01:53Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:56I don't care how.
00:01:57Just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:04Maximus, can you get married already?
00:02:08Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:11I need grandkids.
00:02:13I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:15I need to go now.
00:02:16I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:17Seven years.
00:02:28Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:30And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:31Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:46I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:48Your vest, sir.
00:02:50But first, we found her fake Christmas wife.
00:02:52She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:54Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:56And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:58We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:03Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:07Hi.
00:03:08One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:13I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16Now Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:22Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:24It's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:28Where's my real one?
00:03:29Uh, I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:38Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:48Danny!
00:03:49No!
00:03:50What?
00:03:57Danny!
00:03:58No!
00:03:58I'm sorry.
00:04:00I'm not your dad.
00:04:02No, I know you're my daddy.
00:04:03Just as handsome as I've had.
00:04:05Oh.
00:04:06Mommy, hurry!
00:04:07Your fake Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:17I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:20He's gorgeous.
00:04:21Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:29She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:32Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:34You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:36So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:39See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:42Hi, my name's Hyper.
00:04:43What's your name?
00:04:44Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:46Max, Aurelius.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:50I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:54I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:57I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:04:58So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:08Well, yeah.
00:05:10It's $500 a day.
00:05:11Is that enough?
00:05:13That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:14Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:16That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:18You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:20Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:23Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:25and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:28And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:30so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:34So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:37Fine.
00:05:38But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:43Okay.
00:05:44Deal.
00:05:44Deal.
00:05:47Ready to go get married?
00:05:50Wow.
00:06:03Clean up nice.
00:06:05This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:07Pictures.
00:06:16Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:20I think we got it.
00:06:43Ooh.
00:06:44I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:46To prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:49and have a happy family.
00:06:51Yeah.
00:06:51Of course.
00:07:02Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:04From my family to you.
00:07:05Bad news, boss.
00:07:15The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife
00:07:18failed last minute.
00:07:19Wait, she bailed?
00:07:21Then who is...
00:07:23Who is she?
00:07:27Whatever.
00:07:28It doesn't matter.
00:07:29I've got what I need.
00:07:33Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:35I already found someone.
00:07:41Okay.
00:07:42Well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:44Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:46Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:52I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It'll make it more believable.
00:08:00Fine.
00:08:01Yeah, fine.
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02You can come.
00:08:10Let's go.
00:08:11Which mall are we going to?
00:08:13Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:15Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:16What the actual fuck?
00:08:27Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:33Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:39She does kind of look like him.
00:08:44So when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:46we will say they're from you.
00:08:49Here, let me get this.
00:08:52I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:54Oh, so I was, uh, thinking that since we're married,
00:09:00we should probably kiss once or twice in front of them.
00:09:06Okay.
00:09:07Should we use our tongues or...?
00:09:09No, no, definitely not.
00:09:11And absolutely no...
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:14It's strictly business.
00:09:17Anything physical outside of that does not have any.
00:09:21What?
00:09:22Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:25I just don't want Piper to have messy complications
00:09:27getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:31Let's go.
00:09:31Here.
00:09:38What are you doing?
00:09:40I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:44Well, I'm not your woman,
00:09:45and this isn't a real relationship,
00:09:47and I don't want your money.
00:09:49Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5450% off pies?
00:09:55Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5712 pumpkin pies.
00:09:58I hear this right?
00:09:59They're the best kind.
00:10:00Hurry up and go.
00:10:01Go.
00:10:01What are you standing here for?
00:10:04Hello there.
00:10:05Hi.
00:10:06You ready?
00:10:06Yes.
00:10:07Yeah.
00:10:07Just these things.
00:10:08Okay, great.
00:10:09We have a holiday special today.
00:10:11Spend $500, get 10% off,
00:10:14and you are just short $15
00:10:15if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:17Oh, great.
00:10:18Yeah.
00:10:18What do you have that's just $15?
00:10:20Well, you get a move on.
00:10:23I just got here.
00:10:24Relax.
00:10:26Yeah, yeah.
00:10:29Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:31Okay, thank you.
00:10:33Hurry up and pay.
00:10:34I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:39You can wait your turn.
00:10:45Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:54Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:54Not the pies, not the pies.
00:10:56We can just set those on top.
00:11:02Hi, guys.
00:11:03And I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:10Of quarters.
00:11:11Thank you so much.
00:11:13Of course.
00:11:13I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:16She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:17Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:19Just to give it away.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29Do you do that often?
00:11:31As often as I can.
00:11:33We should go.
00:11:38We got to pick up paper.
00:11:42Watch out.
00:11:43You done feeling me up?
00:12:05Shut up.
00:12:06Oh, sorry.
00:12:06I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:08Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:10And don't be late.
00:12:16Okay.
00:12:17Harrison Group?
00:12:17Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:31Sort of.
00:12:33Not that I'm judging.
00:12:35I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:40Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:43I think that's respectable.
00:12:46Can we pick another company?
00:12:48No.
00:12:49Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:50And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:51My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:53So, perfect.
00:12:59Oh, and wear something nice for Christmas dinner.
00:13:02Don't worry.
00:13:03Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:05I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:08Too much.
00:13:09Let's go, Sam.
00:13:31It's time to check out the new HQ set.
00:13:33Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:37It's my daughter's.
00:13:40Daughter's?
00:13:42Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:14:00Hey, there they are!
00:14:01Hey!
00:14:02Nice to meet you!
00:14:04Oh, Dad.
00:14:06Aren't you made it?
00:14:07Oh, I missed you.
00:14:09So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:13He's coming.
00:14:14Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:16Good, good, good.
00:14:18So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:22When's he arriving?
00:14:24Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:28Poor thing.
00:14:29Not surprising.
00:14:30I mean, she's 30.
00:14:31Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:35Oh, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:39This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:45Auntie Pamela?
00:14:45Oh, Debbie.
00:14:46Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:50We're only worried about you.
00:14:52All these years without a husband.
00:14:54Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:55You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:15:00And look what happened.
00:15:01She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:05I'm not alone.
00:15:06Mm-hmm.
00:15:07And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:12He's a manager.
00:15:14Manager?
00:15:16Of what?
00:15:17Trash.
00:15:17Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:23You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:26Actually, he's right here.
00:15:31Oh, wow.
00:15:34Wow.
00:15:35He is really good looking.
00:15:38Oh, must be AI.
00:15:40Mm-hmm.
00:15:40Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:44Fake.
00:15:44That's enough.
00:15:45She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:47Show some respect.
00:15:49Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William,
00:15:54and you turned him down?
00:15:56Well, guess what?
00:15:57William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:16:00Makes 500 grand a year.
00:16:03That's half a million.
00:16:05Half a million.
00:16:07Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:10And speak of the devil.
00:16:15Willie, you've made it.
00:16:27There you are.
00:16:29Oh, look at you now.
00:16:32Living the dream.
00:16:33Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:35Well, you could be driving around in a car like that
00:16:38had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:16:41So I'm married, huh?
00:16:43Is it serious?
00:16:45That's what marriage is.
00:16:47It's pretty serious.
00:16:49Wow.
00:16:50You must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:52Makes sense, though.
00:16:54You not being a hot, young thing anymore.
00:16:57Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:59Yeah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:02Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:05That's right.
00:17:07Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:11Women love a man in red.
00:17:13Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:16Want to sit on my lap?
00:17:18Don't touch me.
00:17:19Oh, so entitled.
00:17:22Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:26And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:29I mean, look at that car.
00:17:32Did your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:35Think of the life I can give you and Piper
00:17:37with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:39Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:43I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:51My mom would never marry.
00:17:53She already has a husband.
00:17:54He's going to kick your butt.
00:17:55Is that so?
00:18:01Well, then, where is he?
00:18:03Because I don't see him.
00:18:05Does anyone see him?
00:18:08Now, just like I thought,
00:18:11telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:14That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:17And let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:23Mommy.
00:18:24Hi.
00:18:24Are you okay?
00:18:25I see your hands.
00:18:26Oh, my God.
00:18:28I'm going to take her in and get her packed stuff, okay?
00:18:30Come on, honey.
00:18:31Let's go.
00:18:33What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:35How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:39Let me go.
00:18:41Now, why would I go and do a thing like that
00:18:43when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:46Let me go.
00:18:47Let me go.
00:18:47Let me go.
00:18:55Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:05Max, you came.
00:19:09What are you, sweetie?
00:19:14Where's Piper?
00:19:15William hit her?
00:19:16William hit her?
00:19:16William hit her?
00:19:17Mom, Dad would take her inside.
00:19:19Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:22Well, well, well.
00:19:23If it isn't the Waste Manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:27That's right.
00:19:28Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:33Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:35It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:37I'm Max.
00:19:38Eva told us all about you.
00:19:39From New York.
00:19:41Polite.
00:19:41Handsome.
00:19:42Just like she said.
00:19:44Wow.
00:19:46He was an AI.
00:19:47See?
00:19:48He's real.
00:19:49And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:53Son of a bitch.
00:19:54You just ruined my suit.
00:19:55And watch the way that you drive that...
00:19:57That pristine automobile.
00:20:00That car.
00:20:01Oh, my God.
00:20:02That's worth more than a house.
00:20:05That car.
00:20:06It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:10Wait.
00:20:12Are you?
00:20:17Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:20And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:22I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:25You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:26You stole it.
00:20:28That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:30Jesus.
00:20:31How did you get away with it?
00:20:32That's what I want to know.
00:20:34Enough.
00:20:35Please.
00:20:37I trust my daughter.
00:20:40She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:43Max, be honest with me.
00:20:44Where did that car come from?
00:20:47I'm going to do one for it.
00:20:49I'll pay you more money than you'd make it three lifetimes.
00:20:53So, you need a breath, man.
00:20:58All right, that's it.
00:20:59I'm calling the cops.
00:21:00Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:02Wait.
00:21:03What?
00:21:04Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:07Oh, well.
00:21:09Too late.
00:21:10Listen, hon.
00:21:16I believe you.
00:21:18But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:22Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:24It's my car.
00:21:25Okay?
00:21:25It's not stolen.
00:21:26Yeah?
00:21:27If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:30Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:32Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:34Okay, I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:36But then you have to get lost.
00:21:38And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:41Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:43Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:46Loser!
00:21:46Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:51Jesus.
00:21:52Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:54It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:58Here.
00:21:59Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:04Mr. Harrison?
00:22:13Mr. Harrison?
00:22:16Mr. Harrison?
00:22:18Just play alone.
00:22:21Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:22Now get the fuck out of here
00:22:24before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:26Yes, sir!
00:22:27I'm so sorry, sir.
00:22:30Please, accept my serious apologies.
00:22:31Please.
00:22:34Oh, that William?
00:22:44What a jerk, huh?
00:22:46You fooled me.
00:22:47What can I say?
00:22:48Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:52Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:54Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:55We were just looking out for you.
00:22:58Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:23:00You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:23:02Soon?
00:23:02Do you think that, uh, you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:23:06A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:23:11We are family, aren't we?
00:23:13Family takes care of each other.
00:23:15If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:21Abigail, come on, talk to her for us.
00:23:24Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:27Yeah.
00:23:28I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:31My daughter is just far too busy for your best life with my new son-in-law.
00:23:36Come on, guys.
00:23:37Let's go in.
00:23:38Welcome to the family.
00:23:43Welcome.
00:23:43Come on in.
00:23:44Come on in.
00:23:48This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:50You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:54My fault?
00:23:55You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:58Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:10And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:12And how do you...
00:24:13I told you.
00:24:14I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:16I have a friend in high places.
00:24:18A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:23Yes.
00:24:24It's the season of giving.
00:24:25He knows people.
00:24:27Has connections.
00:24:28He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:31You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:32Yeah, and you best not forget it.
00:24:34Capisce?
00:24:35Oh, my God.
00:24:35Just don't blow your cover.
00:24:38Dad!
00:24:39Mom!
00:24:40Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:43Oh, honey.
00:24:44We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:24:51I think they get it.
00:24:55How's Piper?
00:24:55Oh, she's fine.
00:24:57One of you guys just get settled in and we will go check on her.
00:25:01And if your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:05Great.
00:25:06See you in a bit.
00:25:07Joey?
00:25:08What are you doing?
00:25:11Okay.
00:25:12Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:25:19Relax.
00:25:20It was just a hug.
00:25:22Ugh.
00:25:24We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:27You'll be okay.
00:25:28It's just one week.
00:25:29Kill me now.
00:25:30Well, they would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:37What are you doing?
00:25:39That's weird.
00:25:41They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:43I don't know.
00:25:44Something just falls off.
00:25:45Come on.
00:25:46That's ridiculous.
00:25:48I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:25:49Make out progress to prove it?
00:25:52What?
00:25:52Let's...
00:25:53Later.
00:25:57Let's go.
00:26:01Here we go.
00:26:04Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:06Everything looks amazing and happy holidays.
00:26:09To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:12Oh.
00:26:13Welcome.
00:26:14Cheers.
00:26:15Thank you, Ms. Smith.
00:26:16Looks great.
00:26:17Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:19I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:24But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:28Oh, no.
00:26:29Mom's testing him.
00:26:30She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:32You mean to tell me you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:39Ow.
00:26:40Eva, sweetie.
00:26:42Kicking my foot.
00:26:43Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:45Oh, jeez.
00:26:47It's okay.
00:26:48I...
00:26:49Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:26:50I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:58Um...
00:26:59Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:27:07Did I hear this right?
00:27:07They're the best kind.
00:27:10Well, of course.
00:27:11It's...
00:27:11It's...
00:27:12It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:13See?
00:27:14Are you happy now?
00:27:16That's good, but something still fills off.
00:27:18Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:22We had a whirlwind romance and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other, but our marriage is real.
00:27:29I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:33Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:36Okay.
00:27:36Okay.
00:27:37Well, then answer this.
00:27:40Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:43Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:45I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:49Well, um, it's...
00:27:52Silly face.
00:27:53Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:56Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:59Silly face.
00:28:00I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:03Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:05It's blousers.
00:28:07It's nice.
00:28:09You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:12Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:15And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:17I'll drink to that.
00:28:19I agree with you there.
00:28:21So, come on, guys.
00:28:22Let's see.
00:28:23And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:39I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:42Nice and festive for you.
00:28:44No complications.
00:28:46Sorry, honey.
00:28:47Mom, you know what?
00:28:48I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:50Oh, honey.
00:28:51Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:53Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:56The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:58Something about water conservation.
00:29:00That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:0215 minutes?
00:29:05Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:06Just shower together.
00:29:08Shower together?
00:29:12Just shower together.
00:29:14Okay, you guys.
00:29:15Have a good night, okay?
00:29:20You heard her.
00:29:23Oh, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:29:48Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:50You have 15 minutes.
00:29:51Nice try.
00:29:51I am not showering with you.
00:29:53All right, suit yourself.
00:29:55All room for me in there.
00:29:56Not if I meet you there first.
00:29:58Come on, Max.
00:30:16Get out of the way.
00:30:18We agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:20You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:22Relax.
00:30:23I won't touch you.
00:30:25Unless you say you want me to.
00:30:26But that'll cost extra.
00:30:34In your dreams.
00:30:42Free to join me.
00:30:43You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower while you're left.
00:31:06You wish.
00:31:07Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:09Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:11It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:14Oh, yeah?
00:31:15True.
00:31:16Holy shit.
00:31:29This is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:36I'll say.
00:31:38What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:41Still think you can lose it?
00:31:44Baby.
00:31:45I don't think I want you.
00:31:52Max, I shut it up.
00:31:53Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:21What?
00:32:23I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:25It's not you, Max.
00:32:26It's us.
00:32:27It's this.
00:32:27This is all an act.
00:32:28Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:31You're right.
00:32:34I'm sorry.
00:32:35I just don't need to be sorry.
00:32:37Just...
00:32:37That birthmark.
00:32:51What is that?
00:32:54It's him.
00:32:55The man from New Year's.
00:32:56Is he Piper's father?
00:32:58Why are you acting?
00:33:04Oh, my God.
00:33:06Max is Piper's father.
00:33:09Are you okay?
00:33:10Yeah.
00:33:11I just...
00:33:12I just got lightheaded.
00:33:14I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:16Alone.
00:33:18Of course.
00:33:19We have a daughter together.
00:33:24Oh, my God.
00:33:25What do I do?
00:33:32I'm going to sleep on the floor.
00:33:34You can take the bed.
00:33:36Thanks.
00:33:39Hey.
00:33:40Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:42Look, fake marriage aside, I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:46So if there's something you need, I can help.
00:33:49I want to help.
00:33:51He's Piper's father.
00:33:53He has a right to know.
00:33:55Um, Max, how would you feel if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:04A child?
00:34:06No, no, no.
00:34:07That's impossible.
00:34:08I'm very careful.
00:34:11Mostly.
00:34:14I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:16Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:34:23Right.
00:34:24He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:27I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:29Why do you ask?
00:34:31No reason.
00:34:32Just curious.
00:34:34No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:38What?
00:34:39No.
00:34:40Well, then, can I ask you a question?
00:34:44Shoot.
00:34:49Where did you get these?
00:34:51And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:53I did not get those.
00:34:55I don't know where those came from.
00:34:57Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:35:00Give me that pass.
00:35:03Give me the...
00:35:04Give me the...
00:35:05Give me the...
00:35:06Woo!
00:35:06Woo!
00:35:06Evan, the truth is...
00:35:20Is that I...
00:35:22Go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:25Just a second.
00:35:26Come in!
00:35:27Hey, hon.
00:35:29Hey, hon.
00:35:30Oh!
00:35:31Sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck her in.
00:35:36Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:35:38We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:40I can see that.
00:35:42Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:44I mean, if you don't...
00:35:45If you don't mind.
00:35:46Look, atta boy.
00:35:48You know what?
00:35:48Just put a shirt on.
00:35:50I'm going to go get her.
00:35:51Piper!
00:35:52Here comes Grandpa!
00:35:56He sprang to his sleigh.
00:35:58To his team gave a whistle.
00:36:00And away they all flew.
00:36:01Like the down of a thistle.
00:36:03But I heard him exclaim.
00:36:05As he drove out of sight.
00:36:07Merry Christmas to all.
00:36:09And to all.
00:36:11A good night.
00:36:14If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:36:18Good night, Piper.
00:36:19Is her dad still around?
00:36:25Yeah, but he doesn't know it.
00:36:28Because you're her dad.
00:36:30Uh, no.
00:36:31That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:36:39Do you really think so?
00:36:41From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:44Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:45He deserves to know.
00:36:49Max.
00:36:57You're Piper's father.
00:37:05I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:07Where's Piper?
00:37:28She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:37:36God, he's such a good kisser.
00:37:53Just gonna kiss and run?
00:38:04Not on my watch.
00:38:09Yeah.
00:38:10This.
00:38:11I remember this.
00:38:13Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:25How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:28Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:30It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:31Wonderful.
00:38:32Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:34Oh, no.
00:38:37What is that?
00:38:39Sardines and saltines.
00:38:40It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:42It was my gram-grams favorite during wartime.
00:38:45Don't be shy.
00:38:46Go ahead and grab a handful.
00:38:49Max, you don't have to.
00:38:50No, no.
00:38:51It's okay.
00:38:51It's a Smith family staple.
00:38:54Oh, there we go.
00:39:04Here we go.
00:39:04Yeah.
00:39:13Good?
00:39:14Mm.
00:39:15Good?
00:39:16It's grumpy.
00:39:18Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:20You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:24Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:26That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:30What's the deal with them?
00:39:32Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:34Says Piper's a fatherless brat, and I'm...
00:39:38Hey, don't worry.
00:39:40I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:44Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:39:48Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up, then.
00:39:54Wait, that earring.
00:40:05Wait, that earring.
00:40:07You like it?
00:40:09I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:11Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:13I don't really remember the details, but luckily, I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:20Right.
00:40:21Yeah, it's just a common earring.
00:40:23Anyone can have it.
00:40:24Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:26She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:30So, Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:35But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:37What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:41An aging single mom.
00:40:44Slim pickings.
00:40:45I heard he's in waste management.
00:40:47That explains it.
00:40:49She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:40:52Oh, please, Miranda.
00:40:53Look, Ava is your niece.
00:40:55Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:40:57Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:41:00Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:03Exactly.
00:41:04Not like my Sierra married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:10Oh, they're here.
00:41:13Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:19Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:20Merry Christmas.
00:41:22You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:24I am.
00:41:25I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:41:27Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:28Welcome.
00:41:29You're Ava's husband.
00:41:31But you're gorgeous.
00:41:35But what is handsome as you?
00:41:38Look at you two.
00:41:39You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:41Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:42Merry Christmas.
00:41:44This is from Max and I.
00:41:45Oh, my goodness.
00:41:46Thank you, Ava.
00:41:47Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:41:50Oops.
00:41:51Oh, my bad.
00:41:52Ooh, a homemade gift.
00:41:55How thrifty.
00:41:56Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:41:59Mommy's right, you mean, old hat.
00:42:01You little man.
00:42:04You will not lay a hand on my daughter, or you will lose yours.
00:42:08Oh, I think you broke my wrist.
00:42:12Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:14My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:17He could ruin your life.
00:42:31Mommy, are you okay?
00:42:32I'm fine.
00:42:33I'm just wet, huh?
00:42:34Yeah.
00:42:35It's okay.
00:42:35It's okay.
00:42:38What are you...
00:42:39Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:44Did you just slap me?
00:42:46Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:42:48You're a fucking psycho.
00:42:49You know what, Sierra?
00:42:50I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:42:55Her family.
00:42:57She needs me.
00:42:58You okay, honey?
00:43:04Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:43:06Do something.
00:43:08You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:09I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:12Oh, wow.
00:43:13I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:18Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:21Let's call him.
00:43:22I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:25Please.
00:43:26Who do you think you are?
00:43:28Enough!
00:43:31There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:34Fine, Dad.
00:43:35Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:37They're just jealous.
00:43:38For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:43I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:43:47I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:43:50Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:43:51All right, that's enough.
00:43:53Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:44:08Is this a joke?
00:44:18Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:20Hold it.
00:44:20Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:23My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:25My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:32King crab, fresh crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:38Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:42And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:44It's just petty.
00:44:45Maybe so.
00:44:47But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:44:51Fine.
00:44:51Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:44:54Come on, let's go.
00:44:55No, no.
00:44:56Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:45:00Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:45:03I know, dear.
00:45:04I just want to have our family together.
00:45:06Fine.
00:45:07We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:10Better a stray than a bitch.
00:45:11What was that?
00:45:16I just want to have our family together.
00:45:19Fine.
00:45:20We'll stay.
00:45:21Can I have a little nipple?
00:45:24It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:24We'll get something right after.
00:45:27Like drive-thru?
00:45:29I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:31That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:36No strays.
00:45:37Ow.
00:45:38Sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:40Yeah, it's fine.
00:45:41You hit my child.
00:45:42You're fucking crazy!
00:45:43Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:45:51Don't worry, baby.
00:45:52I'll handle it.
00:45:56Don't worry, baby.
00:45:57I'll handle it.
00:45:58We'll do it.
00:45:59We'll do it.
00:45:59We'll do it.
00:46:00We'll do it.
00:46:01Piper.
00:46:02Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:46:06okay sweetheart give me two minutes and one phone call as if you have a chef on speed dial
00:46:15actually i do he's such a liar this ought to be hilarious oh it will be
00:46:22sam yeah send the troops and bring that king crab from antarctica i'm already on my way
00:46:31bring that king crab from antarctica i'm already on my way
00:46:39you hear this guy he wants the best king crab in the world from antarctica now i get why you
00:46:48married him eva his silly delusions are just adorable max what are you doing don't worry
00:46:54about it sweetheart santa's already on his way actually five four three two one
00:47:04a helicopter
00:47:08there's no way
00:47:16how did you pull this off sam is like family i thought i'd introduce you to thanks boss
00:47:26boss eva's always been genuine with me maybe it's time she knew who i really am eva i think it's
00:47:34time you actually know the truth i'm maximus harrison you're the ceo of harrison group
00:47:43come on you can stop kidding around if you were the ceo why would you be here pretending to be my
00:47:54husband no i actually am the ceo come on you can stop the charade okay this is just another favor
00:48:00from that big big friend isn't it eva i'm not pretending mr harrison the antarctica king crab as you
00:48:08how is this possible this loser brings antarctica king crab and has his own personal chef who are you
00:48:29i told you i'm eva's husband that chef called him mr harrison wait no hold on you're the actual ceo of
00:48:39the harrison group you're worth more than some whole countries some of the small ones i mean you know
00:48:48that you work for me oh god i insulted my own boss i'm finished
00:48:59oh god i insulted my own boss i'm finished didn't think max would commit this hard pretending to be ceo
00:49:07is a hell of a move worth every penny i'm paying him for tonight your fee stands and with that
00:49:14your career you're fired fired sam
00:49:18fired oh god i can't be fired what mr harrison please you can have as much crab as you want
00:49:31please mr harrison i'll do anything guys take out the trash
00:49:36and you oh me mr harrison come on that was a christmas joke
00:49:48family tradition yeah well there's a new family tradition sam
00:49:53will you do me the honors
00:49:59glassy
00:50:01merry christmas
00:50:06father do something
00:50:11well you kind of deserve that
00:50:13come on sweetie daddy have this crap line just for you
00:50:28eat as much as you want
00:50:30thanks daddy
00:50:31i am so sorry i ruined your christmas i just couldn't take them treating you like that
00:50:38honestly
00:50:39this is the best christmas i've ever had
00:50:42well if you want we can have many more
00:50:44just like this
00:50:45does he really mean that
00:50:48or is he just playing the part
00:50:49i can't tell
00:50:51and that terrifies me
00:50:54merry christmas miss harrison
00:50:59i brought you a gift
00:51:00here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl
00:51:03oh this is wonderful
00:51:11sam i have a granddaughter
00:51:14tell me everything
00:51:16miss eva smith single mother small town gal
00:51:19didn't finish high school currently works in retail
00:51:21oh maximus i thought i raised you better
00:51:25a high school dropout
00:51:27in the harrison family
00:51:29not a chance
00:51:32she is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:51:38maximus seems to like her
00:51:39silence
00:51:40get me the address where she works
00:51:42it's happy heels on broadway
00:51:44that's nice
00:51:45we own that one
00:51:47good work
00:51:48but take off that stupid hat
00:51:50thanks
00:52:01so your dad insisted
00:52:02that i try this wine
00:52:04that he's been saving for 20 years
00:52:05sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law
00:52:09and how about you
00:52:11me
00:52:15yeah
00:52:16are you happy with your new husband
00:52:19eva
00:52:23that birthmark
00:52:36family to me is a big commitment
00:52:38and i don't want any loose ends
00:52:41you know
00:52:42maximus there's so much we don't know
00:52:44so much we're not telling each other
00:52:46uh
00:52:47no feelings
00:52:49no complications
00:52:50that's what we agreed upon
00:52:51yeah i didn't sign a contract
00:52:53max
00:52:54yeah i guess you're right
00:52:56well it's cold
00:52:59maybe i'll go grab some more firewood
00:53:02max
00:53:04i need to tell you something
00:53:07something important
00:53:11what's gotten into her
00:53:12is she hiding something
00:53:14just the part where you tell me there's no santa
00:53:17i haven't been completely honest with you
00:53:20piper
00:53:23piper is
00:53:23piper is
00:53:28mommy daddy
00:53:29my hand hurts
00:53:30oh
00:53:31sweetie
00:53:31oh my gosh
00:53:32it's on swoon
00:53:34must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier
00:53:36listen you stay here with daddy
00:53:37mommy's gonna go get a first date kit okay
00:53:39come on piper
00:53:43okay let me see
00:53:47i promise
00:53:51i won't let anyone
00:53:52hurt you or mommy again
00:53:54but that's not true
00:53:55you're leaving after christmas aren't you
00:53:58uh
00:54:00daddy
00:54:01no
00:54:01well
00:54:03don't you dare disrespect my husband
00:54:11well maybe i don't have to leave
00:54:15well maybe i don't have to leave
00:54:19really please stay daddy
00:54:21you think you will scar
00:54:26hmm
00:54:28i wouldn't worry about it
00:54:32scars make you look like a badass
00:54:34i have one too
00:54:36dad
00:54:38i got that when i was about your age
00:54:40some punk came at me with a switchblade
00:54:42really
00:54:43no way
00:54:44no
00:54:45it was actually a cactus
00:54:47but it's still cool
00:54:48i have something like that on the back of my neck
00:54:52piper
00:54:56how long have you had that
00:54:58my mom said i had that when i was born
00:55:00i was born
00:55:01and how old are you
00:55:06six
00:55:07six
00:55:08six
00:55:09that one night stand was about seven years ago
00:55:11okay i found the first date kit
00:55:13eva are you sure we haven't met before
00:55:15eva are you sure we haven't met before
00:55:19what do i even say
00:55:20and how do i explain it to piper
00:55:22sorry honey this man's your dad and he didn't know you existed until now
00:55:26um
00:55:27yeah
00:55:28can i see your hand sweetie
00:55:32eva
00:55:33eva
00:55:34eva
00:55:35eva
00:55:36eva
00:55:37eva
00:55:38eva
00:55:39eva
00:55:40eva
00:55:41eva
00:55:42eva
00:55:43eva
00:55:44eva
00:55:45eva
00:55:46eva
00:55:47eva
00:55:48eva
00:55:49eva
00:55:50eva
00:55:51eva
00:55:52eva
00:55:53eva
00:55:54eva
00:55:55eva
00:55:56eva
00:55:57eva
00:55:58eva
00:55:59eva
00:56:00eva
00:56:01eva
00:56:02eva
00:56:03eva
00:56:04eva
00:56:05eva
00:56:06eva
00:56:07eva
00:56:08eva
00:56:09eva
00:56:10eva
00:56:11eva
00:56:12eva
00:56:13eva
00:56:14eva
00:56:15eva
00:56:16eva
00:56:17eva
00:56:19Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:21I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:25She's a high school dropout, doesn't even have a decent job,
00:56:29and she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:32I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:33Max, that man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:42I'm sorry, Max. You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:45Your mother would take her away. After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:51Eva?
00:56:52Maximus? Are you even listening to me?
00:56:55No, Mom, Mom, listen, I'm sorry, okay?
00:56:58Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:57:00I'm not leaving her.
00:57:03Eva?
00:57:10Thank you!
00:57:11This is for you, Grandma.
00:57:12Oh, wow!
00:57:13That's so cool.
00:57:14Did you make it?
00:57:15Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:16Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:17Thanks, guys.
00:57:18I'm glad you're here.
00:57:19Got it!
00:57:20Ooh!
00:57:21Wow!
00:57:22Damn, these are nice!
00:57:24Grandpa, language.
00:57:25Little ears.
00:57:27Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:29It's in the other room by the train set.
00:57:31I'll go with you.
00:57:32Remember the song that we sang?
00:57:33Oh, my God.
00:57:34That's so cool.
00:57:35That's so cool.
00:57:36Did you make it?
00:57:37Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:38Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:39Thanks, guys.
00:57:40I'm glad you're here.
00:57:41Got it!
00:57:42Ooh!
00:57:43Wow!
00:57:44Damn, these are nice!
00:57:45Grandpa, language.
00:57:47Little ears.
00:57:48Do you want to go see your present?
00:57:49It's in the other room by the train set.
00:57:51Here, I'll go with you.
00:57:52Remember the song that we sang?
00:57:53Oh!
00:57:54Ready?
00:57:55Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:57:57What we got, guys?
00:57:58Millie.
00:57:59Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve!
00:58:04You never told me.
00:58:08Have we met before?
00:58:13Have we met before?
00:58:16She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:21I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:24Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:35I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:36Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:37They're very common.
00:58:38I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:42No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:46Maybe.
00:58:50Are you okay?
00:58:53Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:58:56No.
00:58:57I'm fine.
00:58:59Um...
00:59:01Oh, I almost forgot.
00:59:05I got you this.
00:59:06You got me a gift, too?
00:59:08Tis the season.
00:59:09Open it.
00:59:15I'm not going to meet you.
00:59:16And I just had to thank you.
00:59:17I gotta take you.
00:59:18Do you have any help?
00:59:20Just take the heat of the week.
00:59:21I'm going to get them to bed too.
00:59:22And you're gonna get my hands up.
00:59:23I love it.
00:59:24I love you.
00:59:25I want to go to bed.
00:59:26I love you.
00:59:27I love to go.
00:59:28I love you.
00:59:29I love you.
00:59:30I love you.
00:59:31I love you.
00:59:32gloves did you make these yeah I know this is a fake marriage but that's
00:59:41Christmas you've already done so much for me I just want to do a little
00:59:45something for you how did I feel warm right yeah warm soft
00:59:57perfect thank you even I've never gotten anything this meaningful before really
01:00:09yeah my mom she partied all the time and I got gifts plenty of them but I don't
01:00:18think she ever bought one herself nothing personal you deserve it you're a good
01:00:26guy and someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases
01:00:34what if that days today what if I already found someone special right here
01:00:56Max we can't if you want me to stop you better tell me right now
01:01:16come on I don't want you to stop
01:01:22no matter how many years pass I still can't resist him
01:01:31God you were trying to be fucking insane
01:01:58Piper
01:02:02Piper
01:02:11she can't see
01:02:14Eva
01:02:32grandma I'm up here
01:02:38that was way too close yeah we would have gotten on the naughty list
01:02:55sometimes it's fun to be naughty
01:03:00can I still unwrap my present you still haven't given me mine
01:03:09let me give it to you
01:03:15it's funny
01:03:16I just want to take your father
01:03:18even if you know what if you'd like to be naughty
01:03:21yeah
01:03:22yeah
01:03:23yeah
01:03:24yeah
01:03:29yeah
01:03:29yeah
01:03:33yeah
01:03:34yeah
01:03:38yeah
01:03:38yeah
01:03:38yeah
01:03:39yeah
01:03:40yeah
01:03:41yeah
01:03:42yeah
01:03:45Why are you calling me to serve me?
01:03:59Hello?
01:04:00Hello, Eva Smith. I'm Max's mother. Name your price.
01:04:04What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:04:07W-what?
01:04:09We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:04:12Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:04:16My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:04:20Piper is my daughter.
01:04:21And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:04:24So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own.
01:04:26But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:31Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:37You okay?
01:04:42Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:45So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:49What are you talking about?
01:04:51It's over.
01:04:52It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:58Eva, wait!
01:05:02So last night meant nothing to you?
01:05:05Oh, Max, it's not real. None of it was real.
01:05:13So, this is just a goodbye?
01:05:17Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:05:20Look.
01:05:22Last night, I let my guard down.
01:05:26But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:29And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:32Just tell me what you need.
01:05:34I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband,
01:05:37a good father.
01:05:39Just say the word.
01:05:46You don't get it.
01:05:48You don't get it.
01:05:49I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:06:03I won't give up on us.
01:06:20Are we here?
01:06:22Yes.
01:06:24As much as I don't want us to be,
01:06:26we're back.
01:06:30Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:06:32We're home.
01:06:37How can she just walk away?
01:06:38Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:06:48It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:50Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:53You promised.
01:06:55Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:57Can you do this for me, please?
01:07:00All right, fine.
01:07:02When?
01:07:04Two days.
01:07:05I'll come pick you up.
01:07:06No need.
01:07:08Just send me the address and I'll be there.
01:07:15I know you and Mommy thought,
01:07:18but she still really likes you.
01:07:20So don't give up, okay, Daddy?
01:07:23Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:24If there's one thing you should know about your Daddy,
01:07:27I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:36You're coming.
01:07:37They're coming.
01:07:38You're coming.
01:07:39All right.
01:07:40I'm ready.
01:07:41You're coming.
01:07:42You'll get me.
01:07:43You're coming.
01:07:44You're coming.
01:07:45You're coming.
01:07:46That's not giving you time to me.
01:07:47Eva's meeting my mother today
01:07:50Time to finally tell her the truth
01:07:52Boss
01:07:53Boss
01:07:55Lady and gentlemen
01:07:59I am so sorry
01:08:01I need to go back with my family
01:08:03Family?
01:08:05Boss, you okay?
01:08:07Never better
01:08:08Go get her, Max
01:08:11Give it your best smile
01:08:15Ah, there he is
01:08:18Maximus, darling
01:08:20I have some prospects for you
01:08:22Nice high society girls
01:08:24From the city
01:08:26Oh
01:08:29I told you
01:08:32I already found the woman I love
01:08:33Maximus, stop this
01:08:41That evil woman is scamming you, son
01:08:45Tell me what kind of woman you want
01:08:48And I'll find you another
01:08:49You are heir to the Harrison dynasty
01:08:52No, I'm not
01:08:54Oh
01:08:56I work in waste management
01:08:58And I'm a secret crime boss
01:09:00I'm Eva's husband
01:09:01And I'm a father
01:09:03What?
01:09:19That's her
01:09:21The woman who got my son
01:09:23Head over heels
01:09:24Hi, welcome in
01:09:27Can I help you find something?
01:09:28I want to try those
01:09:31Awesome, I'll get them for you right away
01:09:35Are you
01:09:37Sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:43No, no, no
01:09:44I know what I want
01:09:45Size 7
01:09:46Oh, baby can't even walk
01:09:50But she wants $3,000 heels
01:09:52Come on
01:09:53She wants the white shoes
01:09:54Ignore her
01:10:00She's just grumpy over the holidays
01:10:02Here, let me help you
01:10:03Come on
01:10:04She
01:10:08Seems kind
01:10:10I shouldn't be that impressed
01:10:17She's just doing her job
01:10:19How do they feel?
01:10:22Well, I love the style
01:10:23But it's too small
01:10:25I think I need a size up
01:10:27Maybe my feet are still growing
01:10:29Right away
01:10:33I'll be right back
01:10:34She's not only kind
01:10:36She's patient
01:10:37Was I wrong about her?
01:10:39Are you
01:10:55Glooming the heel back on?
01:10:58Well, who gives a shit?
01:11:00She can't walk
01:11:01That's just
01:11:04Pure evil
01:11:06Oh, come on
01:11:10St. Eva
01:11:10She's in a wheelchair
01:11:13Who cares?
01:11:14It's the last pair
01:11:15I get paid commission
01:11:17I'm not doing that, Vanessa
01:11:24See?
01:11:27This is your whole problem
01:11:29This is why you'll always be broke
01:11:32I don't care if she can walk or not
01:11:36I'm not selling her junk
01:11:38She has to deal with people like this
01:11:41People who insult her all day
01:11:44I'm your manager
01:11:47Sell the old bitty the shoes
01:11:52Or you're fired
01:11:54Did I stutter?
01:12:01You don't have to fire me
01:12:06I quit
01:12:09I don't work here anymore
01:12:16Listen
01:12:18Don't buy the shoes
01:12:20They're broken
01:12:21Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:12:23You're a good person after all
01:12:25Looks like I misjudged you
01:12:28I'm sorry
01:12:30Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:35Get out
01:12:35You're not disabled?
01:12:43Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:47Absolutely shameful
01:12:49Who are you?
01:12:50I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group
01:12:54And the owner of this store
01:12:56You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:12:59Mother of the CEO?
01:13:01I am
01:13:02And you, my dear, are fired
01:13:05What did I do?
01:13:10You are a good person
01:13:12From now on, this store is yours to run
01:13:16Are you serious?
01:13:22That's right
01:13:23Don't be nervous, child
01:13:26You are professional
01:13:28Responsible
01:13:29Far better than that two-bit manager
01:13:32You
01:13:36Out
01:13:37I'll leave
01:13:39I'm leaving
01:13:42I
01:13:45I
01:13:45I
01:13:46I
01:13:46I
01:13:46I feel like I'm dreaming
01:13:48No
01:13:49Don't worry
01:13:50You're getting a promotion
01:13:52You deserve it, my dear
01:13:55Thank you
01:13:57First assignment
01:13:59I want that row
01:14:01And that row
01:14:02And the entire display case
01:14:05Pack it all up and bring it to my house
01:14:08Okay
01:14:10Yeah
01:14:10Once we're home
01:14:13I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law
01:14:15I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter
01:14:18She's the mother of the CEO
01:14:26Of course she lives like this
01:14:29Mrs. Harrison?
01:14:39I'm here with your delivery
01:14:41Max?
01:14:45Eva
01:14:46What are you doing here?
01:14:50I, uh
01:14:50There you are, Eva
01:14:52Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly
01:14:56My new daughter-in-law
01:14:59What are you talking...
01:15:01That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group
01:15:07Well I tried to tell you but
01:15:10Stop
01:15:11And you
01:15:13You lied to me at the store
01:15:15You were both just testing me
01:15:18Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:15:21I'm sorry, Eva
01:15:22I thought you might be using my son
01:15:24Just after his money
01:15:25But I was wrong
01:15:27Eva, please
01:15:28I don't deserve to be treated like this
01:15:30Not every working class girl is after your money
01:15:33How could you think that of me?
01:15:35It's not like that, dear
01:15:37Eva, what are you talking about?
01:15:40Mom, what did you do?
01:15:42I was just trying to get the two of you back together
01:15:45We're not together
01:15:46And I can't love something that was never real
01:15:49I made a horrible mistake
01:15:56What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:58Go after her
01:15:59Eva
01:16:04Let me go
01:16:05I swear it's not what you think
01:16:07Look, we come from two completely different worlds
01:16:09Stop pretending like you care
01:16:10I'm not pretending
01:16:11Okay, I can't fake what we have
01:16:13And everything I've done for you
01:16:15And Piper
01:16:16This is real
01:16:17Touch my wife again
01:16:23And I will snap every finger that you've got
01:16:25Max, you came
01:16:27God, you weren't driving me fucking insane
01:16:30I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:16:34A good father
01:16:35Just say the word
01:16:37See?
01:16:42Stop fighting
01:16:43We belong together
01:16:46You're wrong
01:16:49Wrong about what?
01:16:51That you care?
01:16:53Or we belong together?
01:16:55Look, I already told you
01:16:56We're from two completely different worlds
01:16:58Now, I held up my end of the deal
01:17:00And I met your mother
01:17:01Like we discussed
01:17:02I want a fake divorce from my fake cousin
01:17:05Eva
01:17:08Eva
01:17:12I'm sorry, Maximus
01:17:15Walking away is the only choice I have
01:17:25Ow!
01:17:26Are you okay, Mommy?
01:17:28Yeah, sweetie
01:17:29I'm fine
01:17:29Come here
01:17:31No, you're not fine
01:17:40You're sad
01:17:41I'm okay, sweetie
01:17:45I miss Daddy, too
01:17:49I want Max to be my real daddy
01:17:54Don't you want to be with him?
01:18:00Love bug
01:18:01You're right
01:18:03What am I doing?
01:18:04Running like a coward?
01:18:07I've always taught you to be brave
01:18:09Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too
01:18:12I believe in you
01:18:15What are you gonna do, Mommy?
01:18:16I know exactly what to say to him
01:18:19Maximus deserves to know
01:18:24Piper is his daughter
01:18:26Enough sulking
01:18:33Go get your wife and my grandbaby back
01:18:37Don't you think I want to?
01:18:40She doesn't want me
01:18:41I didn't raise you to give up
01:18:43Your daughter is still out there
01:18:45You can't abandon her
01:18:46Mom, you don't get it
01:18:48I made a deal with Eva to play my wife
01:18:51And Piper, she was an added bonus
01:18:55What are you talking about?
01:18:57I already ran a DNA test
01:18:59Piper is your daughter
01:19:02What?
01:19:04See for yourself
01:19:05I was right
01:19:12Seven years ago
01:19:13New years
01:19:15That woman was Eva
01:19:16Eva?
01:19:29Hey
01:19:29Daddy
01:19:31Daddy
01:19:34Piper
01:19:35I missed you so much, sweetheart
01:19:39You came back
01:19:46I, uh
01:19:50Don't forget to be brave, Mommy
01:19:54I, uh
01:20:00I was scared
01:20:03But I don't want to be scared anymore
01:20:05Because what we have is real
01:20:07And it's worth fighting for
01:20:09Sweetheart, I have
01:20:11Something to tell you
01:20:13I have something to tell you, too
01:20:16Piper is your daughter
01:20:19You knew
01:20:21My sweet granddaughter
01:20:23Mama
01:20:24Oh
01:20:25I just found out for sure a few minutes ago
01:20:30But you've known this whole time?
01:20:32I was scared
01:20:33Okay, I didn't know
01:20:34If you were going to take her from me
01:20:35I didn't know how you were feeling
01:20:37How could you not know how I felt?
01:20:52I love you, Eva
01:20:53I love you, too
01:20:56I promise
01:20:58For the rest of my life
01:21:00I'm going to make it up to you
01:21:01As long as we're together
01:21:04It doesn't matter where we are
01:21:06Will you marry me, Eva?
01:21:18For real this time?
01:21:20Yes
01:21:20Yes, of course
01:21:22I'll marry you
01:21:23Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas
01:21:38And the Christmas after that
01:21:39And forever
01:21:40I wouldn't have it any other way
01:21:45Who's that?
01:21:52Eva!
01:21:55Take me back!
01:21:58I'm sorry
01:21:59I'm struck you, tired!
01:22:03Looks like I have to take out the trash
01:22:05Again
01:22:06No?
01:22:10Not funny?
01:22:10Not funny?
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