- 5 weeks ago
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TVTranscript
00:00:00So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:10All right, it's about that time.
00:00:12So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:21Yeah, him.
00:00:23Hi!
00:00:24Just pay him on.
00:00:25Six, five, four, three, two, one.
00:00:31Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:00:55You have a cute scar.
00:00:57It's just my birthmark.
00:01:00If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:04I don't want you to stop.
00:01:05I don't want you to stop.
00:01:11I don't want you to stop.
00:01:13I don't want you to stop.
00:01:15I don't want you to stop.
00:01:17I don't want you to stop.
00:01:19I don't want you to stop.
00:01:19I don't want you to stop.
00:01:20I don't want you to stop.
00:01:22I don't want you to stop.
00:01:23I don't want you to stop.
00:01:24I don't want you to stop.
00:01:26I don't want you to stop.
00:01:27I don't want you to stop.
00:01:28I don't want you to stop.
00:01:29I don't want you to stop.
00:01:30I don't want you to stop.
00:01:31I don't want you to stop.
00:01:32I don't want you to stop.
00:01:33I don't want you to stop.
00:01:34I was so drunk last night. I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:44I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:52Happy New Year.
00:01:53Sam, it's me. Hey, find me the girl from last night. I don't care how. Just do it.
00:02:00I will find you.
00:02:04Maximus, can't you get married already? Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend?
00:02:12I need grandkids. I need you to...
00:02:14Message received, Mom. I need to go now. I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:27Seven years. Why can't I ever find you? And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:34Still thinking about that girl? Boss, it's been years.
00:02:47I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:49Your vest, sir. But first, we found your fake Christmas wife. She's waiting in the coffee shop. Blonde hair, red top. And, sir, make sure you use an alias. We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:02Good. Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:08Hi. One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:11And one hot chocolate.
00:03:13I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy. Now Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:21Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend. And it's just for Christmas.
00:03:26But, Mommy, why do we have to rent in Daddy? Where's my real one?
00:03:30Uh...
00:03:35I'll tell you when you're older. Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:40Daddy!
00:03:50Oh!
00:03:57Daddy!
00:03:58Oh! I'm sorry. I'm not your dad.
00:04:02No, I know you're my daddy just as handsome as I've had.
00:04:05Oh.
00:04:06Mommy, hurry! Your Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:17I asked the agency for an average-looking guy. He's gorgeous.
00:04:27Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:29Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:31She's waiting in the coffee shop. Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:33You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:37So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:39See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:42Hi, my name's Cybert. What's your name?
00:04:44Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:47Max, Aurelius.
00:04:49Eva.
00:04:51I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:54I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:56I guess Mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:00So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:08Well, yeah.
00:05:10It's $500 a day.
00:05:12Is that enough?
00:05:13That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:15Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:16That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:19You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:21Look, my requirements are simple.
00:05:23Okay, play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:26and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:28And then my family will get off my back, so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:35So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:38Fine. But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:41Okay. Deal.
00:05:47Ready to go get married?
00:06:02Wow. Clean up nice.
00:06:05This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:07Pictures!
00:06:08Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:11Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:38Okay.
00:06:41Okay.
00:06:42Well, I think we got it.
00:06:44I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:47To prove to my parents that I'm actually married and have a happy family.
00:06:51Yeah. Of course.
00:06:52Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:03From my family to you.
00:07:14Bad news, boss.
00:07:15The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife failed last minute.
00:07:19Wait, she bailed?
00:07:21Then who is...
00:07:24Who is she?
00:07:26Whatever.
00:07:27It doesn't matter.
00:07:29I've got what I need.
00:07:32Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:34I already found someone.
00:07:36Okay.
00:07:41Well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:43Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:45Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:53I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It will make it more believable.
00:07:59Fine.
00:08:00Yeah, fine.
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02You can come.
00:08:10Let's go.
00:08:11Which mall are we going to?
00:08:13Let's go to that one.
00:08:15Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:21What the actual fuck?
00:08:23Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:32Get me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:38She does kind of look like him.
00:08:43So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:08:48Here, let me get this.
00:08:51I'm gonna love you, Max.
00:08:54Oh, so?
00:08:55I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss.
00:09:02Once or twice.
00:09:04In front of them.
00:09:06Okay.
00:09:07Should we use our tongues, or?
00:09:09No, no, definitely not.
00:09:11And absolutely no.
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:14Yes.
00:09:15Strictly business.
00:09:17Anything physical outside of that does not have any.
00:09:19What?
00:09:21Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:23I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:29Let's go.
00:09:33Here.
00:09:34What are you doing?
00:09:35I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:36Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:09:47Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5250% off pies?
00:09:54Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:55Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:09:56Did I hear this right?
00:09:57They're the best kind.
00:09:59Hurry up and go.
00:10:00Go.
00:10:01What are you standing here for?
00:10:03Hello there.
00:10:04Hi.
00:10:05You ready?
00:10:06Yes, yeah.
00:10:07Just these things.
00:10:08Okay, great.
00:10:09We have a holiday special today.
00:10:10Spend $500, get 10% off, and you are just short $15 if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:16Oh, great.
00:10:17Yeah.
00:10:18What do you have that's just $15?
00:10:19Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:21I just got here.
00:10:23Relax.
00:10:24Yeah, yeah.
00:10:27Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:29Okay, thank you.
00:10:32Hurry up and pay.
00:10:36I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:38You can wait your turn.
00:10:44Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:51Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:52Not the pies.
00:10:53Not the pies.
00:10:54We can just set those on top.
00:11:00Hi, guys.
00:11:02Gonna hand you all these pies.
00:11:08Of course.
00:11:09Thank you so much.
00:11:10Of course.
00:11:11I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:13She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:15Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:16Just to give it away.
00:11:19Merry Christmas.
00:11:20Hi.
00:11:21Merry Christmas.
00:11:26What?
00:11:27You do that often?
00:11:29As often as I can.
00:11:35We should go.
00:11:36We gotta pick up paper.
00:11:40Watch out.
00:11:50You done feeling me up?
00:11:51Shut up.
00:11:52Oh, sorry.
00:11:53I was just in character, wifey.
00:11:54Yeah.
00:11:55Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:11:56And don't be late.
00:11:57Harrison Group?
00:11:58Harrison Group?
00:11:59Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:00Harrison Group?
00:12:01Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:02No.
00:12:03No.
00:12:04No.
00:12:05No.
00:12:06No.
00:12:07No.
00:12:08No.
00:12:09No.
00:12:10No.
00:12:11No.
00:12:12No.
00:12:13No.
00:12:14No.
00:12:15No.
00:12:16No.
00:12:17No.
00:12:18No.
00:12:19No.
00:12:20No.
00:12:21No.
00:12:23No.
00:12:29No.
00:12:30No.
00:12:31No.
00:12:32No.
00:12:33I need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:38Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:41I think that's respectable.
00:12:43Can we pick another company?
00:12:45No.
00:12:46Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:48And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:49My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:51So, it's perfect.
00:12:57Oh, and, uh, wear something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:13:00Don't worry.
00:13:01Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:02I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:06Too much.
00:13:27Let's go, Sam.
00:13:29It's time to check out the new HQ set.
00:13:31Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:36It's my daughter's.
00:13:38Daughter's.
00:13:40Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:43Hey, there they are!
00:13:58Yay!
00:13:59Nice to meet you!
00:14:01Oh, dad.
00:14:02Oh, I'm so glad you made it.
00:14:04Oh, I missed you.
00:14:06So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:10He's coming.
00:14:12Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:13Good, good, good.
00:14:14So, I heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:19When's he arriving?
00:14:20Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:25Poor thing.
00:14:26Not surprising.
00:14:27Not surprising.
00:14:28I mean, she's 30.
00:14:29Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:31No, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:38This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:42Auntie Pamela, Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:47We're only worried about you.
00:14:49All these years without a husband.
00:14:51Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:53Ugh.
00:14:54You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:57And look what happened.
00:14:58She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:02I'm not alone.
00:15:03Mm-hmm.
00:15:04And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:08He's a manager.
00:15:11Manager of what?
00:15:14Trash.
00:15:15Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:19Mm-hmm.
00:15:20You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:23Actually, he's right here.
00:15:28Oh, wow.
00:15:30Wow.
00:15:31He is really good looking.
00:15:34Ah, must be AI.
00:15:36Mm-hmm.
00:15:37Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:40Fake.
00:15:41That's enough.
00:15:42She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:44Show some respect.
00:15:45Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William?
00:15:50And you turned him down?
00:15:52Well, guess what?
00:15:54William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:56Makes 500 grand a year.
00:15:59That's half a million.
00:16:01Half a million.
00:16:03Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:06And speak of the devil.
00:16:09Willie, you made it.
00:16:13There you are.
00:16:26Oh, look at you now.
00:16:28Living the dream.
00:16:29Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:30Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal
00:16:36waste manager.
00:16:37So married, huh?
00:16:38Yeah.
00:16:39Is it serious?
00:16:40That's what marriage is.
00:16:42It's pretty serious.
00:16:44Wow.
00:16:45You must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:48Makes sense, though.
00:16:49You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:53Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:55A bullet dodged, Willie.
00:16:58Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:01That's right.
00:17:03Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:07Women love a man in red.
00:17:09Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:12When I sit on my lap.
00:17:14Don't touch me.
00:17:15Oh, so entitled.
00:17:18Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:22And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:26I mean, look at that car.
00:17:28Could your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:31Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:35Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:40I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:47My mom would never marry.
00:17:48She already has a husband.
00:17:49He's gonna kick your butt.
00:17:55Is that so?
00:17:56Well then, where is he?
00:17:59Because I don't see him.
00:18:00Does anyone see him?
00:18:04No.
00:18:05Just like I thought.
00:18:07Telling lies just like mommy.
00:18:09Mommy.
00:18:10That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:12And let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:18Hey.
00:18:19Mommy.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:21Are you okay?
00:18:22I see your hands.
00:18:23Oh my God.
00:18:24We're gonna take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:26Come on, honey.
00:18:27Let's go.
00:18:28What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:30How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:33Let me go.
00:18:36Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:41Let me go!
00:18:42Let me go!
00:18:57Touch my wife again and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:00Max, you came.
00:19:01Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:02Where's Piper?
00:19:03William Hitter.
00:19:04Mom, Dad, I'd take her inside.
00:19:05Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:06Well, well, well.
00:19:07If it isn't the Waste Manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:09That's right.
00:19:10Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:11Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:12It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:13I'm Max.
00:19:14Eva told us all about you.
00:19:15From New York.
00:19:16Polite.
00:19:17Handsome.
00:19:18Just like she said.
00:19:19Oh.
00:19:20Oh.
00:19:21Oh.
00:19:22Oh.
00:19:23Oh.
00:19:24Oh.
00:19:25Oh.
00:19:26Oh.
00:19:27Oh.
00:19:28Oh.
00:19:29Oh.
00:19:30Oh.
00:19:31Oh.
00:19:32Oh.
00:19:33Oh.
00:19:34Oh.
00:19:35Oh.
00:19:36Oh.
00:19:37Oh.
00:19:38Just like she said.
00:19:40Wow.
00:19:41He was an AI.
00:19:42See?
00:19:43He's real.
00:19:44And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:47You son of a bitch!
00:19:49You were just ruined my suit.
00:19:51Watch the way you would drive that pristine automobile.
00:19:55That car?
00:19:56Oh my god.
00:19:57That's worth more than a house.
00:19:59That car?
00:20:00It was all over the news when the C.E.O. of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:07Are you?
00:20:12Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:15And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:17I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:20You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:21You stole it!
00:20:23That car belongs to the CEO of my company!
00:20:25Jesus!
00:20:26How did he get away with it?
00:20:27That's what I want to know.
00:20:29Enough!
00:20:30Please!
00:20:32I trust my daughter.
00:20:35She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:38Max, be honest with me.
00:20:40Where did that car come from?
00:20:42How much did you want for it?
00:20:44I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:48So, you need a breath, man.
00:20:53All right, that's it! I'm calling the cops!
00:20:55Oh, way ahead of you.
00:20:57Wait.
00:20:58What?
00:20:59Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:02Oh, well.
00:21:04Too late.
00:21:07Mr. Harrison?
00:21:11Just play along.
00:21:14Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:21:15Now get the fuck out of here
00:21:16before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:21:19Yes, sir!
00:21:20I'm so sorry, sir!
00:21:22I...
00:21:22I...
00:21:23Please, take somebody serious about it!
00:21:24But, please...
00:21:25Oh, that William, what a jerk, huh?
00:21:39He fooled me.
00:21:40What can I say?
00:21:41Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:21:45Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:21:47Oh, come on, Eva.
00:21:48You know, we were just looking out for you.
00:21:50Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:21:53You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:21:55Soon.
00:21:56Do you think that, uh, you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:21:59A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:22:04We are family, aren't we?
00:22:06Family takes care of each other.
00:22:08If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:22:13Abigail, come on, talk to her for us.
00:22:17Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:22:20Yeah.
00:22:21I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:22:23My daughter is just far too busy.
00:22:26Your best life, my new son-in-law.
00:22:29Come on, guys, let's go in.
00:22:31Welcome to the family.
00:22:35Welcome.
00:22:36Come on in.
00:22:37Come on in.
00:22:38This is your fault, Pam.
00:22:43You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:22:46My fault.
00:22:47You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:22:51Oh!
00:23:00Hey, how do you have that car?
00:23:02And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:23:04And how do you...
00:23:05I told you.
00:23:06I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:23:08I have a friend in high places.
00:23:10A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:23:15Yes.
00:23:16It's the season of giving.
00:23:18He knows people.
00:23:19Has connections.
00:23:21He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:23:23You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:23:24And you best not forget it.
00:23:25And you best not forget it, capisce?
00:23:26Oh, my God.
00:23:27Just don't blow your cover.
00:23:31Dad!
00:23:31Mom!
00:23:32Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:23:35Oh, honey.
00:23:36We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking.
00:23:42Um, I think they get it, huh?
00:23:47Uh, how's Piper?
00:23:48Oh, she's fine.
00:23:49One of you guys just get settled in and, uh, we will go check on her.
00:23:53And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:23:58Great.
00:23:58Hey, see you in a bit.
00:23:59Joey?
00:24:00What are you doing?
00:24:03Okay.
00:24:05Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:24:11Relax.
00:24:12It was just a hug.
00:24:14Ugh.
00:24:16We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:24:19You'll be okay.
00:24:20It's just one week.
00:24:21Kill me now.
00:24:22Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:24:28What are you doing?
00:24:31That's weird.
00:24:33They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago and...
00:24:35Ugh, I don't know.
00:24:36Something just feels off.
00:24:37Come on, that's ridiculous.
00:24:40I mean, what do you want to go down?
00:24:42Make out a promise to prove it?
00:24:44I don't like this.
00:24:46Later.
00:24:49Let's go.
00:24:54Here we go.
00:24:56Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:24:58Everything looks amazing, and happy holidays.
00:25:01To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:25:04Oh.
00:25:05Welcome.
00:25:06Cheers.
00:25:07Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:25:08Looks great.
00:25:09Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:25:11I had no idea what you liked,
00:25:13so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:25:16But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:25:20Ooh.
00:25:21Oh, no.
00:25:21Mom's testing him.
00:25:22She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:25:24You mean to tell me you two are married
00:25:26and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:25:31Ow.
00:25:32Eva, sweetie.
00:25:34Kicking my foot.
00:25:35Oh, sorry, mom.
00:25:36I...
00:25:36Oh, jeez.
00:25:38Oh, what's she doing?
00:25:39It's okay.
00:25:41Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:25:42I would like to hear Max say it.
00:25:4412 pumpkin pies.
00:25:59Did I hear this right?
00:25:59They're the best kind.
00:26:02Well, of course.
00:26:03It's pumpkin pie.
00:26:05See?
00:26:07Are you happy now?
00:26:08That's good, but something still feels off.
00:26:11Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:26:13We had a whirlwind romance
00:26:16and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:26:19But our marriage is real.
00:26:21I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:26:25Ah, now those are quality.
00:26:29Okay, well, then answer this.
00:26:32Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:26:35Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:26:39I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:26:41Well, um, it's...
00:26:44Silly face.
00:26:45Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:26:48Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:26:51Silly face.
00:26:53I am not paying extra for this.
00:26:55Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:26:57Those are lousers.
00:26:59That's nice.
00:27:01Are you going to afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:27:04Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith,
00:27:05there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:27:07And I'm not just talking about William.
00:27:10I'll drink to that.
00:27:11I agree with you there.
00:27:13So, come on, guys.
00:27:14Let's see.
00:27:15Come on.
00:27:15And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:27:31I have another room set up for Piper.
00:27:34Nice and festive for you.
00:27:36No complications, right?
00:27:38Sorry, honey.
00:27:39Mom, you know what?
00:27:40I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:27:42Oh, honey, newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:27:46Oh, I just remembered.
00:27:48The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:27:50Something about water conservation.
00:27:52That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:27:5415 minutes?
00:27:57Honey, it's no big deal.
00:27:58Just shower together.
00:28:00Shower together?
00:28:04Just shower together.
00:28:06Okay, you guys, have a good night, okay?
00:28:12You hurt her.
00:28:34Whoa!
00:28:35Why are you stripping?
00:28:38Well, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:28:40Come on, we're wasting time.
00:28:42You have 15 minutes.
00:28:43Nice try.
00:28:43I am not showering with you.
00:28:46All right, sleep yourself.
00:28:47All room for me in there.
00:28:49Not if I meet you there first.
00:29:06Come on, Max.
00:29:08Get out of the way.
00:29:10We agreed, nothing physical.
00:29:12You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:29:14Relax.
00:29:15I won't touch you.
00:29:17Unless you say you want me to.
00:29:21But that'll cost extra.
00:29:22Yeah.
00:29:23And your dreams.
00:29:34Free to join me.
00:29:35You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have any shower water left.
00:29:58You wish.
00:29:59Why aren't you getting in?
00:30:00You pray you'll fall for me?
00:30:03It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:30:06Oh, yeah?
00:30:07Proof.
00:30:08Holy shit.
00:30:21Oh, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:30:28I'll say.
00:30:29What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:30:33Still think you can resist?
00:30:36Baby.
00:30:38I don't think I want you.
00:30:39Max, I shouldn't help.
00:30:48Or maybe we should.
00:30:50God, he's such a good kisser.
00:30:53Why does this feel so familiar?
00:30:56Max, we cannot do this.
00:31:14What?
00:31:15I didn't mean to cross anything.
00:31:17It's not you, Max.
00:31:18It's us.
00:31:19It's this.
00:31:19This is all an act.
00:31:20Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:31:23You're right.
00:31:24I'm sorry.
00:31:27I just need to be sorry.
00:31:29Just...
00:31:33That birthmark.
00:31:43What is that?
00:31:46It's him.
00:31:47The man from New Year's.
00:31:48Is he Piper's father?
00:31:50Why are you acting?
00:31:57Oh, my God.
00:31:58Max is Piper's father.
00:32:01Are you okay?
00:32:02Yeah.
00:32:03I just, um...
00:32:05I just got lightheaded.
00:32:06I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:32:09Alone.
00:32:11Of course.
00:32:11We have a daughter together.
00:32:16Oh, my God.
00:32:18What do I do?
00:32:25I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
00:32:26You can take the bed.
00:32:29Thanks.
00:32:31Hey.
00:32:33Are you sure you're okay?
00:32:34Look, fake marriage aside, I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:32:39So, if there's something you need, I can help.
00:32:42I want to help.
00:32:43He's Piper's father.
00:32:45He has a right to know.
00:32:47Um, Max, how would you feel if you found out you had a kid?
00:32:54A child?
00:32:59No, no, no.
00:33:00That's impossible.
00:33:01I'm very careful.
00:33:04Mostly.
00:33:07I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:33:09Family, to me, is a big commitment.
00:33:11And I don't want any loose ends.
00:33:14You know?
00:33:15Right.
00:33:17He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:33:19I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:33:22Why do you ask?
00:33:23No reason.
00:33:25Just, just curious.
00:33:27No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:33:30What?
00:33:32No.
00:33:33Well, then, can I ask you a question?
00:33:36Shoot.
00:33:42Where did you get these?
00:33:44And how did you know my exact size?
00:33:46I did not get those.
00:33:48I don't know where those came from.
00:33:49Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:33:56Give me the...
00:33:56Give me the...
00:33:57Give me the...
00:33:58Give me the...
00:33:58Whoa!
00:33:59Eva, the truth is...
00:34:12Is that I...
00:34:14Go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:34:17Just a second.
00:34:19Come in!
00:34:22Hey, hon.
00:34:23Oh!
00:34:24Sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck her in.
00:34:30Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:34:31We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:34:33I can see that.
00:34:35Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:34:37I mean, if you don't...
00:34:38If you don't mind.
00:34:40Well, atta boy.
00:34:41You know what?
00:34:42Just put a shirt on.
00:34:43I'm gonna go get her.
00:34:44Piper!
00:34:45Here comes Grandpa!
00:34:49He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down
00:34:55of a thistle.
00:34:56But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all
00:35:03a good night.
00:35:07If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:35:12Good night, Piper.
00:35:16Is her dad still around?
00:35:19Yeah, but he doesn't know it, because you are her dad.
00:35:23Uh, no.
00:35:23Well, that man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:35:32Do you really think so?
00:35:34From the bottom of my heart.
00:35:37Maybe I should tell him.
00:35:39He deserves to know.
00:35:46Max.
00:35:51You are Piper's father.
00:35:53I'll tell you when the time is right.
00:36:00Where's Piper?
00:36:26She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:36:45God, he's such a good kisser.
00:36:47Just gonna kiss and run?
00:36:58Not on my watch.
00:37:03Yeah, this.
00:37:05I remember this.
00:37:06Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:37:20How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:37:23Good morning, Ms. Smith.
00:37:24It was, uh, it was great.
00:37:26Wonderful.
00:37:27Well, it's about to get even better.
00:37:28Oh, no.
00:37:32What is that?
00:37:33Sardines and saltines.
00:37:35It's a Smith family classic.
00:37:37It was my gram-gram's favorite during wartime.
00:37:40Don't be shy.
00:37:40Go ahead and grab a handful.
00:37:43Max, you don't have to.
00:37:45No, no.
00:37:45It's okay.
00:37:46It's a Smith family staple.
00:37:48Oh, there we go.
00:37:58Yeah.
00:37:59Yeah.
00:38:08Good?
00:38:09Mm.
00:38:10Good?
00:38:11Scrunched.
00:38:13Well, you two better get dressed.
00:38:15You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:38:18Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:38:21That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:38:25What's the deal with them?
00:38:26Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:38:29Says Piper's a fatherless brat and I'm...
00:38:32Hey, don't worry.
00:38:35I'll protect you and Piper.
00:38:39Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:38:43Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up, then.
00:38:48Wait, that earring.
00:38:59Wait.
00:39:00That earring.
00:39:02You like it?
00:39:03I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:39:06Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:39:08I don't really remember the details, but luckily, I was able to find a new pair.
00:39:15Right.
00:39:16And it's just a common earring.
00:39:17Anyone can have it.
00:39:19Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:39:21She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:39:25So Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:39:29But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:39:31What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:39:36An aging single mom.
00:39:38Slim pickings.
00:39:39I heard he's in waste management.
00:39:42That explains it.
00:39:43She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:39:47Oh, please, Miranda.
00:39:48Ava is your niece.
00:39:50Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:39:52Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:39:55Her track record speaks for itself.
00:39:57Exactly.
00:39:58Not like my Sierra.
00:40:00Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:40:05Oh, they're here.
00:40:07Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:40:14Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:40:16Merry Christmas.
00:40:18You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:40:19I am.
00:40:21I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:40:23Pleasure to meet you.
00:40:24Welcome.
00:40:24You're Ava's husband.
00:40:26But you're gorgeous.
00:40:30But what as handsome as you.
00:40:33Look at you two.
00:40:34You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:40:36Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:40:37Merry Christmas.
00:40:39This is for Max and I.
00:40:40Oh, my goodness.
00:40:42Thank you, Ava.
00:40:42Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:40:45Oops.
00:40:46Oh, my bad.
00:40:47Ooh, a homemade gift.
00:40:50How thrifty.
00:40:52Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:40:54Mommy's right.
00:40:55You mean all hats.
00:40:57You little.
00:40:59You will not lay a hand on my daughter.
00:41:02Or you will lose yours.
00:41:04Oh.
00:41:04I think you broke my wrist.
00:41:07Look what you just did to my mother.
00:41:09My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:41:12He could ruin your life.
00:41:14Honey, are you okay?
00:41:28I'm fine.
00:41:29I'm just wet, huh?
00:41:30Yeah.
00:41:30It's okay.
00:41:31It's okay.
00:41:31It's okay.
00:41:32It's fine.
00:41:32What are you?
00:41:36Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:41:39Did you just slap me?
00:41:41Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:41:43You're a fucking psycho.
00:41:45You know what, Sierra?
00:41:45I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:41:51Her family.
00:41:53She needs me.
00:41:58You okay, honey?
00:41:59Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:42:02Do something.
00:42:03You don't know who you're messing with.
00:42:05I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:42:07Oh, wow.
00:42:08I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:42:14Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:42:16Let's call him.
00:42:18I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:42:21Please.
00:42:21Who do you think you are?
00:42:24Enough!
00:42:26There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:42:29Fine, Dad.
00:42:31Let it go, Nathan.
00:42:33They're just jealous.
00:42:34For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:42:38I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:42:42I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:42:45Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:42:46All right, that's enough.
00:42:48Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:43:04Is this a joke?
00:43:13Can you please pass me some food?
00:43:15Hold it.
00:43:16Who said you could eat anything else?
00:43:18My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:43:24My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:43:27King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:43:33Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:43:36And you don't get a single bite.
00:43:39It's just petty.
00:43:40Maybe so.
00:43:41But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:43:45Fine.
00:43:46Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:43:49Come on, let's go.
00:43:50No, no.
00:43:51Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:43:54Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:43:57I know, dear.
00:43:58I just want to have our family together.
00:44:00Fine.
00:44:01We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:44:04Better a stray than a bitch.
00:44:06What was that?
00:44:10I just want to have our family together.
00:44:13Fine.
00:44:14We'll stay.
00:44:16Can I have a little napole?
00:44:18It's okay, sweetie.
00:44:19We'll get something right after.
00:44:21Like drive-thru?
00:44:22I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:44:25That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:44:30No strays.
00:44:31Ow.
00:44:32See, see, are you okay?
00:44:34Yes, please.
00:44:35You hit my child.
00:44:37You're fucking crazy.
00:44:38Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:44:45Don't worry, baby.
00:44:46I'll handle it.
00:44:50Don't worry, baby.
00:44:51I'll handle it.
00:44:52Piper.
00:44:57Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:45:03Okay, sweetheart.
00:45:04Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:45:06As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:45:09Actually, I do.
00:45:12He's such a liar.
00:45:13This ought to be hilarious.
00:45:15Oh, it will be.
00:45:18Sam.
00:45:20Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:45:23I'm already on my way.
00:45:25Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:45:31I'm already on my way.
00:45:34You hear this guy?
00:45:36He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:45:38From Antarctica.
00:45:39Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:45:43His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:45:46Max, what are you doing?
00:45:48Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:45:49Santa's already on his way.
00:45:51Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:45:58A helicopter?
00:46:08There's no way.
00:46:15How did you pull this off?
00:46:16Sam is like family.
00:46:18I thought I'd introduce you to.
00:46:19Thanks, boss.
00:46:21Boss?
00:46:22Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:46:25Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:46:27Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:46:31I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:46:34You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:46:37Mm-hmm.
00:46:40Come on.
00:46:42You can stop kidding around.
00:46:45If you were the CEO, why would you be here
00:46:47pretending to be my husband?
00:46:48No, I actually am the CEO.
00:46:50Come on.
00:46:51You can stop the charade, okay?
00:46:53This is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:46:55Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:46:59Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:47:02How is this possible?
00:47:14This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:47:20Who are you?
00:47:22I told you.
00:47:23I'm Eva's husband.
00:47:25That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:47:27Wait.
00:47:28No.
00:47:28Hold on.
00:47:29You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:47:35You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:47:37Hmm.
00:47:38Some of the small ones.
00:47:40I mean, you know that.
00:47:42You work for me.
00:47:43Oh, God.
00:47:44I insulted my own boss.
00:47:46I'm finished.
00:47:47Oh, God.
00:47:53I insulted my own boss.
00:47:55I'm finished.
00:47:57Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:47:59Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:48:01Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:48:03For tonight, your feast ends.
00:48:06And with that, your career.
00:48:08You're fired.
00:48:10Fired?
00:48:11Sam.
00:48:11You're fired?
00:48:16Oh, God.
00:48:17I can't be fired.
00:48:19What?
00:48:21Mr. Harrison, please.
00:48:22You can have as much crab as you want.
00:48:24Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:48:26I'll do anything.
00:48:27Guys, take out the trash.
00:48:30What?
00:48:33And you.
00:48:36Oh, me?
00:48:38Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:48:40That was a Christmas joke, a family tradition.
00:48:43Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:48:46Sam.
00:48:50Will you do me the honors?
00:48:53Gladly.
00:48:58Merry Christmas, Aunt Maria.
00:49:02Father, do something.
00:49:04Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:49:06I'm leaving.
00:49:07Merry Christmas, Aunt Maria.
00:49:08Mmm, pumpkin's my favorite.
00:49:14Come on, sweetie.
00:49:17Daddy had this crab running just for you.
00:49:20Eat as much as you want.
00:49:21Thanks, Daddy.
00:49:25I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:49:27I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:49:30Honestly?
00:49:31This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:49:34Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:49:36Just like this.
00:49:36Does he really mean that?
00:49:39Or is he just playing the part?
00:49:41I can't tell.
00:49:43And that terrifies me.
00:49:49Merry Christmas, Miss Harrison.
00:49:50I brought you a gift.
00:49:51Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:49:54Oh.
00:49:55Oh, this is wonderful.
00:50:02Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:50:05Tell me everything.
00:50:07Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:50:13Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:50:15A high school dropout?
00:50:18In the Harrison family?
00:50:21Not a chance.
00:50:25She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:50:29Maximus seems to like her.
00:50:30Silence.
00:50:30Get me the address where she works.
00:50:33It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:50:35That's nice.
00:50:36We own that one.
00:50:38Good work.
00:50:39But take off that stupid hat.
00:50:41Thanks.
00:50:41So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:50:58Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:51:00And how about you?
00:51:05Me?
00:51:06Yeah.
00:51:08Are you happy with your new husband?
00:51:11Eva.
00:51:25That birthmark.
00:51:26Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:51:33Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:51:35So much we're not telling each other.
00:51:36Uh.
00:51:38No feelings, no complications.
00:51:40That's what we agreed upon.
00:51:41Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:51:44Max.
00:51:45Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:51:48It's cold.
00:51:50Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:51:54Max.
00:51:54I need to tell you something.
00:51:59Something important.
00:52:01What's gotten into her?
00:52:03Is she hiding something?
00:52:05Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:52:07I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:52:13Piper is...
00:52:15Piper is...
00:52:17Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:52:20Sweetie.
00:52:21Oh, my gosh.
00:52:22It's all swollen.
00:52:23Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:52:26Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:52:27Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:52:28Come on, Piper.
00:52:34Oh, okay, let me see.
00:52:39I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:52:43But that's not true.
00:52:45You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:52:49Uh...
00:52:49Daddy!
00:52:50No!
00:52:52Well...
00:52:56Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:53:03Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:53:07Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:53:09Really?
00:53:09Please stay, Daddy.
00:53:14You think it was Sky?
00:53:17Hmm.
00:53:18I wouldn't worry about it.
00:53:22Scars make you look like a badass.
00:53:23I have one, too.
00:53:25Dad.
00:53:27I got that when I was about your age.
00:53:29Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:53:32Really?
00:53:33No way.
00:53:34No.
00:53:35It was actually a cactus.
00:53:36But it's still cool.
00:53:39I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:53:45Piper, how long have you had that?
00:53:47My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:53:55And how old are you?
00:53:56Six.
00:53:58Six?
00:53:58That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:54:01Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:54:03Ivor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:54:05What do I even say?
00:54:09And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:54:11Sorry, honey.
00:54:12This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:54:16Um, yeah.
00:54:20Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:54:22Eva.
00:54:23Okay, look.
00:54:31Piper is...
00:54:33Go on.
00:54:43That must be an emergency.
00:54:45Excuse me.
00:54:48Sorry.
00:54:48I'll take this.
00:54:55Mommy, are you okay?
00:54:57Yeah.
00:54:59Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:55:02I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:55:04Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:55:09I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:55:13She's a high school dropout.
00:55:15Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:55:17And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:55:20I'm Eva's husband.
00:55:21Max.
00:55:22That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:55:27I'm sorry, Max.
00:55:32You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:55:33Your mother would take her away.
00:55:35After Christmas, it's over.
00:55:39Eva?
00:55:41Maximus?
00:55:42Are you even listening to me?
00:55:44No, Mom, Mom, listen.
00:55:45I'm sorry, okay?
00:55:46Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:55:49I'm not leaving her.
00:55:51Eva?
00:55:52Oh, wow.
00:56:11That's so cool.
00:56:12Did you know?
00:56:14Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:56:17Oh, thank you so much.
00:56:19Thanks, God.
00:56:20I'm glad you're here.
00:56:22You got it.
00:56:24Oh.
00:56:24Wow.
00:56:25Damn, these are nice.
00:56:27Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:56:35Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:56:37It's in the other room by the train set.
00:56:39I'll go with you.
00:56:40Remember the song that we sang?
00:56:41Ready?
00:56:42Ready?
00:56:42Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:56:45What do we got, guys?
00:56:45Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve.
00:56:52You never told me.
00:56:56Have we met before?
00:57:01Have we met before?
00:57:04She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:57:09I don't know what you're getting at.
00:57:12Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:57:15I don't know what you're talking about.
00:57:25Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:57:26They're very common.
00:57:27I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:57:30No matter how I feel about him.
00:57:34Maybe.
00:57:35Are you okay?
00:57:38Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:57:44No.
00:57:45I'm fine.
00:57:47Um.
00:57:48Oh, I almost forgot.
00:57:52I got you this.
00:57:54You got me a gift, too?
00:57:56Tis the season.
00:57:57Open it.
00:57:58Open it.
00:57:58Open it.
00:57:58Gloves.
00:58:13Did you make these?
00:58:15Yeah.
00:58:16I know this is a fake marriage, but it's Christmas.
00:58:20You've already done so much for me.
00:58:21I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:58:25How do they feel?
00:58:27Warm, right?
00:58:28Yeah.
00:58:30Warm.
00:58:32Soft.
00:58:35Perfect.
00:58:40Thank you, Eva.
00:58:42I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
00:58:46Really?
00:58:47Yeah, my mom.
00:58:49She partied all the time.
00:58:50And I got gifts.
00:58:52Plenty of them, but...
00:58:54I don't think she ever bought one herself.
00:58:56Nothing personal.
00:59:00Well, you deserve it.
00:59:02You're a good guy.
00:59:04And someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
00:59:11And what if that day's today.
00:59:16What if I already found someone special?
00:59:21Right here.
00:59:21I don't know.
00:59:34I don't know.
00:59:35I don't know.
00:59:37I don't know.
00:59:38Max, we can't.
00:59:49If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
00:59:56Come on.
00:59:58I don't want you to stop.
00:59:59No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:00:22I want you.
01:00:29Oh, God, you are trying to be fucking insane.
01:00:39Piper!
01:00:48Piper?
01:00:50She can't see me.
01:00:59Piper!
01:01:09Eva?
01:01:13Grandma, I'm up here!
01:01:15That was way too close.
01:01:30Yeah.
01:01:31We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:01:36Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:01:38Can I still unwrap my present?
01:01:45You still haven't given me mine.
01:01:52Let me give it to you.
01:01:53Let me give it to you.
01:01:57Come on.
01:02:21Uh-huh.
01:02:22Why are you calling me this morning?
01:02:36Hello?
01:02:37Hello, Eva Smith.
01:02:38I'm Max's mother.
01:02:40Name your price.
01:02:41What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:02:44What?
01:02:45We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:02:49Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:02:53My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:02:57Piper is my daughter.
01:02:58And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:03:01So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own.
01:03:03But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:03:09There's my beautiful wife.
01:03:15You okay?
01:03:19Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:03:22So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:03:26What are you talking about?
01:03:28It's over.
01:03:29It's not that hard to understand.
01:03:35Eva, wait!
01:03:39So last night meant nothing to you?
01:03:42Well, Max.
01:03:47It's not real.
01:03:48None of it was real.
01:03:50So, it's just a goodbye.
01:03:54Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:03:57Look.
01:03:59Last night,
01:04:02I let my guard down.
01:04:03But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:04:06And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:04:08Just tell me what you need.
01:04:11I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband.
01:04:14A good father.
01:04:16Just say the word.
01:04:22You don't get it.
01:04:24You don't get it.
01:04:25I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:04:40I won't give up on us.
01:04:56Are we here?
01:04:58Yes.
01:05:00As much as I don't want us to be,
01:05:02we're back.
01:05:06Piper.
01:05:07Sweetie, wake up.
01:05:08We're home.
01:05:13How can she just walk away?
01:05:14Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:05:24It's part of the agreement too.
01:05:26Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:05:29You promised.
01:05:31Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:05:33Can you do this for me please?
01:05:37Alright, fine.
01:05:38When?
01:05:40Two days.
01:05:42I'll come pick you up.
01:05:43No need.
01:05:45Just send me the address and I'll meet you there.
01:05:51I know you and mommy thought,
01:05:54but she still really likes you.
01:05:57So don't give up, okay daddy?
01:05:59Thank you sweetie.
01:06:01If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:06:03I always fight for the ones I love.
01:06:13and I'll meet you then.
01:06:15I'll see you later.
01:06:17I'm sorry.
01:06:18So don't bring it back.
01:06:20Let's all do that.
01:06:21And I'll see you later.
01:06:23I'm sorry.
01:06:25Right.
01:06:26Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:06:28Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:06:31Boss?
01:06:32Boss?
01:06:36Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:06:40I need to go win back my family.
01:06:42Family?
01:06:43Boss, you OK?
01:06:45Never better.
01:06:48Go get her, Max.
01:06:52Give it your best smile.
01:06:54Ah, there he is, Maximus, darling.
01:06:59I have some prospects for you.
01:07:01Nice high society girls from the city.
01:07:07Oh.
01:07:09I told you, I already found the woman I love.
01:07:18Maximus, stop this.
01:07:20That evil woman is scamming you, son.
01:07:24Tell me what kind of woman you want,
01:07:26and I'll find you another.
01:07:28You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:07:31No, I'm not.
01:07:34Oh?
01:07:35I work in waste management, and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:07:39I'm Eva's husband, and I'm a father.
01:07:43What?
01:07:44Oh, that's her, the woman who got my son head over heels.
01:08:00Hi.
01:08:00Welcome in.
01:08:01Can I help you find something?
01:08:02I wanted to try those.
01:08:04Awesome.
01:08:04I'll get them for you right away.
01:08:06Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:08:10No, no, no.
01:08:11I know what I want.
01:08:12Size 7.
01:08:13Oh, baby can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:08:16Come on.
01:08:17She wants the white shoes.
01:08:18Ignore her.
01:08:19She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:08:20Here, let me help you.
01:08:21Come on.
01:08:22She.
01:08:23She.
01:08:24Oh.
01:08:25She.
01:08:26Oh.
01:08:27Oh.
01:08:28Oh.
01:08:29Oh.
01:08:30Oh.
01:08:31Oh.
01:08:32Oh.
01:08:33Oh.
01:08:34Oh.
01:08:35Oh.
01:08:36Oh.
01:08:37Oh.
01:08:38Oh.
01:08:39Oh.
01:08:40Oh.
01:08:41Oh.
01:08:42Oh.
01:08:43Oh.
01:08:44Oh.
01:08:45Oh.
01:08:46Oh.
01:08:47How do I feel?
01:08:49Oh.
01:08:50So she...
01:08:51she seems kind.
01:08:53I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:08:55She's just doing her job.
01:08:59How do they feel?
01:09:00Well, I love the style, but it's too small.
01:09:04I think I need to size up.
01:09:06Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:09:10Right away.
01:09:11I'll be right back.
01:09:12I...
01:09:13She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:09:15Was I wrong about her?
01:09:32Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:09:35Well, who gives a shit? She can't walk.
01:09:41That's just pure evil.
01:09:46Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:09:49She's in a wheelchair. Who cares? It's the last pair.
01:09:53I get paid commission.
01:10:00I am not doing that, Vanessa.
01:10:03See? This is your whole problem.
01:10:07This is why you'll always be broke.
01:10:11I don't care if she can walk or not. I'm not selling her junk.
01:10:17She has to deal with people like this?
01:10:20People who insult her all day?
01:10:22I'm your manager.
01:10:28Sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired.
01:10:32Did I stutter?
01:10:43You don't have to fire me.
01:10:44Don't hire me.
01:10:47I quit.
01:10:53I don't work here anymore.
01:10:55Listen.
01:10:57Don't buy the shoes.
01:10:59They're broken.
01:11:00They're hard and money elsewhere, okay?
01:11:01You're a good person after all.
01:11:05Looks like I misjudged you.
01:11:08I'm sorry?
01:11:10Why are you still here, Eva?
01:11:13Get out!
01:11:14You're not disabled?
01:11:15Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:11:25Absolutely shameful.
01:11:27Who are you?
01:11:29I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group.
01:11:33And the owner of this store.
01:11:35You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:11:38Mother of the CEO?
01:11:39I am.
01:11:41And you, my dear, are fired.
01:11:44What did I do?
01:11:48You are a good person.
01:11:51From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:11:57Are you serious?
01:12:00That's right.
01:12:02Don't be nervous, child.
01:12:05You are professional, responsible,
01:12:07far better than that two-bit manager.
01:12:13You.
01:12:15Out.
01:12:16I'll leave.
01:12:20I'm leaving.
01:12:23I...
01:12:25I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:12:27No.
01:12:28Don't worry.
01:12:30You're getting a promotion.
01:12:32You deserve it, my dear.
01:12:35I...
01:12:36First assignment.
01:12:38I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:12:44Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:12:47Okay.
01:12:48Yeah.
01:12:50Once we're home, I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:12:53I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:13:03She's the mother of a CEO.
01:13:05Of course she lives like this.
01:13:06Mrs. Harrison? I'm here with your delivery.
01:13:20Max?
01:13:21Eva?
01:13:23What are you doing here?
01:13:24I, uh...
01:13:25There you are, Eva!
01:13:28Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:13:31My new daughter-in-law.
01:13:33What are you talking...
01:13:35That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:13:37Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:13:38Stop!
01:13:40And you!
01:13:41You lied to me at the store!
01:13:43You were both just testing me?
01:13:45Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:13:46I'm sorry, Eva.
01:13:48I thought you might be using my son just after his money.
01:13:50But I was wrong.
01:13:52Eva, please.
01:13:53I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:13:56Not every working class girl is after your money.
01:13:59How could you think that of me?
01:14:00It's not like that, dear.
01:14:01Eva, what are you doing here?
01:14:03just after his money.
01:14:05But I was wrong.
01:14:07Eva, please.
01:14:07I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:14:10Not every working-class girl is after your money.
01:14:13How could you think that of me?
01:14:15It's not like that, dear.
01:14:17Eva, what are you talking about?
01:14:19Mom, what did you do?
01:14:21I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:14:24We're not together.
01:14:26And I can't love something that was never real.
01:14:28I made a horrible mistake.
01:14:36What are you waiting for, son?
01:14:37Go after her.
01:14:42Eva.
01:14:43Let me go.
01:14:44I swear, it's not what you think.
01:14:46We come from two completely different worlds.
01:14:48Stop pretending like you care.
01:14:49I'm not pretending.
01:14:51I can't fake what we have.
01:14:53In everything I've done for you, and Piper,
01:14:55this is real.
01:14:58Touch my wife again,
01:15:02and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:15:05Max, you came.
01:15:07God, you were driving me fucking insane.
01:15:11I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband,
01:15:14a good father.
01:15:16Just say the word.
01:15:19See?
01:15:22Stop fighting.
01:15:25We belong together.
01:15:26You're wrong.
01:15:29Wrong about what?
01:15:31That you care?
01:15:33Or we belong together?
01:15:35Look, I already told you.
01:15:36We're from two completely different worlds.
01:15:39Now, I held up my end of the deal,
01:15:40and I met your mother, like we discussed.
01:15:43I don't want to fake divorce from my fake husband.
01:15:49Eva.
01:15:52Eva!
01:15:53I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:15:57Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:16:06Ow!
01:16:08Are you okay, Mommy?
01:16:10Yeah, sweetie.
01:16:11I'm fine.
01:16:11Come here.
01:16:13No, you're not fine.
01:16:23You're sad.
01:16:24Oh.
01:16:26I'm okay, sweetie.
01:16:29I miss Daddy, too.
01:16:34I want Max to be my real Daddy.
01:16:36Don't you want to be with him?
01:16:42I'm a bug.
01:16:44You're right.
01:16:46What am I doing?
01:16:47Running like a coward?
01:16:50I've always taught you to be brave.
01:16:53Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:16:56I believe in you.
01:16:57What are you going to do, Mommy?
01:16:59I know exactly what to say to him.
01:17:05Maximus deserves to know.
01:17:07Piper is his daughter.
01:17:15Enough sulking.
01:17:17Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:17:20Don't you think I want to?
01:17:23She doesn't want me.
01:17:24I didn't raise you to give up.
01:17:26Your daughter is still out there.
01:17:28You can't abandon her.
01:17:30Mom, you don't get it.
01:17:31I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:17:34And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:17:38What are you talking about?
01:17:40I already ran a DNA test.
01:17:43Piper is your daughter.
01:17:46What?
01:17:47See for yourself.
01:17:50I was right.
01:17:55Seven years ago.
01:17:57New Year's, that woman was Eva.
01:18:09Eva?
01:18:12Hey.
01:18:14Daddy!
01:18:16Daddy!
01:18:17Piper!
01:18:19Oh.
01:18:20I've missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:18:28You came back.
01:18:31I, uh...
01:18:32Don't forget to re-break, Mommy.
01:18:37I, uh...
01:18:43I was scared.
01:18:46But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:18:49Because what we have is real, and it's worth fighting for.
01:18:53Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:18:56I have something to tell you, too.
01:18:58Piper is your daughter.
01:19:00Piper is your daughter.
01:19:03You knew.
01:19:04My sweet granddaughter.
01:19:06Mama!
01:19:07Oh.
01:19:07Oh.
01:19:10Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago.
01:19:13But you've known this whole time?
01:19:14I was scared.
01:19:16Okay?
01:19:16I didn't know if you were gonna take her from me.
01:19:18I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:19:22How could you not know how I felt?
01:19:23I love you, Eva.
01:19:38I love you, too.
01:19:39I promise.
01:19:42For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:19:46As long as we're together, it doesn't matter where we are.
01:19:59Will you marry me, Eva?
01:20:02For real this time?
01:20:03Yeah, yes.
01:20:05Yes, of course I'll marry you.
01:20:09Yes, of course I'll marry you.
01:20:12Hi.
01:20:19Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas,
01:20:21and the Christmas after that, and forever.
01:20:26I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:20:33Who's that?
01:20:35Eva!
01:20:36Take me back!
01:20:41I'm sorry!
01:20:42I'm struck you, I'm tired!
01:20:46Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:20:49Again.
01:20:52No?
01:20:53Not funny?
01:20:53What?
01:21:17I'm sorry.
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