- 3 months ago
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00:00:00So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:10All right, it's about that time.
00:00:12So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:21Yeah, him.
00:00:23Hi!
00:00:24Just play him on.
00:00:25Six, five, four, three, two, one.
00:00:31Yeah!
00:00:55You have a cute scar.
00:00:57It's just my birthmark.
00:01:00If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:04I don't want you to stop.
00:01:05I don't want you to stop.
00:01:08I don't want you to stop.
00:01:10I don't want you to stop.
00:01:11I don't want you to stop.
00:01:13I don't want you to stop.
00:01:15I don't want you to stop.
00:01:16I don't want you to stop.
00:01:17I don't want you to stop.
00:01:18I don't want you to stop.
00:01:19I don't want you to stop.
00:01:20I don't want you to stop.
00:01:21I don't want you to stop.
00:01:22I don't want you to stop.
00:01:23I don't want you to stop.
00:01:24I don't want you to stop.
00:01:25I don't want you to stop.
00:01:26I don't want you to stop.
00:01:27I don't want you to stop.
00:01:28I don't want you to stop.
00:01:29I don't want you to stop.
00:01:30I don't want you to stop.
00:01:31I don't want you to stop.
00:01:32I was so drunk last night. I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:44I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:52Happy New Year.
00:01:53Sam, it's me. Hey, find me the girl from last night. I don't care how. Just do it.
00:02:00I will find you.
00:02:02Maximus, can't you get married already? Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend?
00:02:12I need grandkids. I need you to...
00:02:14Message received, Mom. I need to go now. I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:27Seven years. Why can't I ever find you? And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:32Still thinking about that girl? Boss, it's been years.
00:02:44I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:49Your vest, sir. But first, we found your fake Christmas wife. She's waiting in the coffee shop. Blonde hair, red top. And, sir, make sure you use an alias. We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:03Yes. Good. Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:08Hi. One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:12And one hot chocolate.
00:03:13I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy. Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:23Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend. It's just for Christmas.
00:03:26But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy? Where's my real one?
00:03:30I'll tell you when you're older. Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:41Daddy!
00:03:48Daddy!
00:03:49No!
00:03:50Daddy!
00:03:51No!
00:03:52Daddy!
00:03:53No!
00:03:54I'm sorry.
00:03:56I'm not your dad.
00:03:58No, I know you're my daddy just as handsome as I thought.
00:04:01Oh.
00:04:02Mommy, hurry! Your fake Christmas husband has arrived.
00:04:05I asked the agency for an average-looking guy. He's gorgeous.
00:04:28Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:29Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:31She's waiting in the coffee shop. Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:34You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:37So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:39See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right? Hi, my name's Cybert. What's your name?
00:04:45Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:47Max, Aurelius.
00:04:49Eva.
00:04:50I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:55I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:57I guess Mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:00So, per our agreement...
00:05:03The rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:08Well, yeah.
00:05:10It's $500 a day.
00:05:12Is that enough?
00:05:13That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:15Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:17That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:19You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:21Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:23Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown, and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:28And then my family will get off my back, so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:35So she's getting pressure from the folks, too.
00:05:38Fine.
00:05:39But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:44Deal.
00:05:48Ready to go get married?
00:06:02Wow.
00:06:03Clean up nice.
00:06:04This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:06Pictures!
00:06:08Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love!
00:06:38Okay.
00:06:39Well, I think we got it.
00:06:43Ooh.
00:06:44I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:47To prove to my parents that I'm actually married and have a happy family.
00:06:51Yeah.
00:06:52Of course.
00:07:02Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:04From my family to you.
00:07:08Bad news, boss.
00:07:11The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:19Wait, she bailed?
00:07:21Then who is...
00:07:25Who is she?
00:07:27Whatever.
00:07:28It doesn't matter.
00:07:29I've got what I need.
00:07:33Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:34I already found someone.
00:07:38Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:43Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:46Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:52I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It'll make it more believable.
00:08:00Fine.
00:08:01Fine.
00:08:02Okay.
00:08:03You can come.
00:08:11Let's go.
00:08:12Which mall are we going to?
00:08:13Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:15No, let's go to the bank.
00:08:16Oh!
00:08:21What the actual fuck?
00:08:27Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:32Get me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:35She does kind of look like him.
00:08:43So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:08:48Jeez.
00:08:49Here, let me get this.
00:08:51I'm gonna love you, Max.
00:08:52Oh, so?
00:08:55I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss.
00:09:03Once or twice.
00:09:04In front of them.
00:09:06Okay.
00:09:07Should we use our tongues, or?
00:09:09No, no, definitely not.
00:09:11And absolutely no.
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:15Strictly business.
00:09:17Anything physical outside of that does not have any.
00:09:20What?
00:09:21Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:24I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:30Let's go.
00:09:37Here.
00:09:39What are you doing?
00:09:40I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:43Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:09:49Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5350% off pies?
00:09:54Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5612 pumpkin pies.
00:09:57I hear this right?
00:09:58They're the best kind.
00:09:59Hurry up and go.
00:10:00Go.
00:10:01What are you standing here for?
00:10:03Hello there.
00:10:04Hi.
00:10:05You ready?
00:10:06Yes, yeah.
00:10:07Just these things.
00:10:08Okay, great.
00:10:09We have a holiday special today.
00:10:10Spend $500, get 10% off, and you are just short $15 if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:16Oh, great.
00:10:17Yeah.
00:10:18What do you have that's just $15?
00:10:19Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:21I just got here, relax.
00:10:24Yeah, yeah.
00:10:28Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:29Okay, thank you.
00:10:32Hurry up and pay.
00:10:36I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:38You can wait your turn.
00:10:44Damn.
00:10:45My fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:52Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:53Not the pies.
00:10:54Not the pies.
00:10:55You can just set those on top.
00:11:01Hi, guys.
00:11:03I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:08Of course.
00:11:10Thank you so much.
00:11:11Of course.
00:11:12I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:14She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:15Don't worry.
00:11:16I have enough for everybody.
00:11:17Just to give it away.
00:11:18Yeah.
00:11:20Merry Christmas.
00:11:21Bye.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:27What?
00:11:28You do that often?
00:11:30As often as I can.
00:11:35We should go.
00:11:36We gotta pick up paper.
00:11:41Watch out.
00:11:43You done feeling me up?
00:11:44Shut up.
00:11:45Oh, sorry.
00:11:46I was just in character, wifey.
00:11:47Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:11:50And don't be late.
00:11:51I'm sorry.
00:11:57I'm sorry.
00:11:58I was just in character, wifey.
00:11:59Yeah, well stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:01me up? Shut up. Oh, sorry. I was just in character, wifey. Yeah, well, stay out of character until
00:12:08Christmas. And don't be late. Harrison Group? Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:29Sort of. Not that I'm judging. I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us
00:12:36alive. Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group? I think that's
00:12:42respectable. Can we pick another company? No. Harrison Group is perfect. And they'll find it
00:12:49impressive. My cousin's husband works for them too. So, it's perfect. Oh, and wear something nice.
00:12:59For Christmas dinner? Don't worry. Okay, I clean up nicely. I wouldn't embarrass you. Too much.
00:13:07Let's go, Sam. It's time to check out the new HQ site. Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:35It's my daughter's. It's my daughter's. Daughter's? Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:43So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about? He's coming.
00:13:56Please don't tell me Maximus bailed. Good, good, good. So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie. When's he arriving?
00:14:04Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking. Poor thing.
00:14:12Not surprising. I mean, she's 30. Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:18Plus, a kid looks so bad on dating apps. This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:24Auntie Pamela, Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern. We're only worried about you.
00:14:30All these years without a husband. Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:36You know, you always spoiled her rotten. And look what happened. She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:14:42I'm not alone. Mm-hm. And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:01He's a manager. Manager?
00:15:06husband do he's a manager manager of what trash probably a cover for criminal
00:15:18activity you don't have to lie to us Eva actually he's right here oh wow wow he
00:15:32is really good-looking ah must be AI congratulations Eva on your Photoshop skills fake that's enough
00:15:42she's our daughter and your niece show some respect remember last year when I introduced
00:15:48you to my husband's nephew William and you turned him down well guess what William works for the
00:15:55Harrison group now makes 500 grand a year half a million girls are lining up for him all the way
00:16:06to New York and speak of the devil there you are oh look at you now living the dream oh just think Eva
00:16:32well you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste
00:16:37manager so married huh is it serious that's what marriage is it's pretty serious wow you must have
00:16:47rushed the time they're not huh makes sense though you not being a hot young thing anymore dragging
00:16:54that kid around with no daddy yeah a bullet dodged Willie meanwhile you're climbing the Harrison group
00:17:01bladder mm-hmm that's right just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus women love a man
00:17:09in red sexy like Santa Claus when I sit on my lap don't touch me oh so entitled Williams a successful
00:17:20man of taste not waste and yet for some reason he's willing to overlook your baggage I mean look at that car
00:17:28did your husband afford anything even close to that think of the life I can give you and Piper with
00:17:34all my Harrison group money ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead I wouldn't marry you if you
00:17:41were the last man on earth my mom would never marry she already has a husband he's gonna kick your butt
00:17:51is that so well then where is he because I don't see him does anyone see him no just like I thought
00:18:06telling lies just like mommy that puts you on the naughty list and let me show you what happens to naughty children
00:18:16are you okay see your hands oh my god I want to take her in and get her packed stuff okay come on let's go
00:18:27what the hell's the matter with you how dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter
00:18:33let me go now why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time let me go
00:18:43touch my wife again and I will snap every finger that you've got
00:19:00Max you came don't worry sweetie
00:19:06where's Piper William Hitter
00:19:12mom and dad have to take her inside well it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of
00:19:17well well well if it isn't the waste manager I've been hearing so much about that's right
00:19:23now I'm about to take out the trash
00:19:26oh Mr. and Mrs. Smith it's an honor to meet you I'm Max
00:19:33Eva told us all about you from New York polite handsome just like she said
00:19:39wow he was an AI see he's real and he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be
00:19:48son of a bitch you just ruined my suit and watch the way that you drive that
00:19:52that pristine automobile
00:19:54that car oh my god that's worth more than a house
00:19:59that car it was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison group bought it
00:20:04wait are you
00:20:08like I said I'm just Eva's husband
00:20:14and that's all he needs to know
00:20:16I'm not here to put on a show for anyone
00:20:19you really are a criminal aren't you you stole it that car belongs to the CEO of my company
00:20:25Jesus how did he get away with it that's what I want to know
00:20:29enough please
00:20:31I trust my daughter
00:20:33she would never marry a criminal
00:20:36Max be honest with me
00:20:39where did that car come from
00:20:41how much do you want for it
00:20:44I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes
00:20:47so
00:20:48you need a breath mint
00:20:50all right that's it I'm calling the cops
00:20:55oh way ahead of you
00:20:57wait
00:20:57what
00:20:58are you feeling nervous Eva
00:21:01oh well
00:21:03too late
00:21:05Mr. Harrison
00:21:10just play along
00:21:12Merry Christmas Willie
00:21:15now get the fuck out of here
00:21:16before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole
00:21:19yes sir
00:21:20I'm so sorry sir
00:21:21please accept my serious apologies
00:21:24oh that William
00:21:37what a jerk huh
00:21:39he fooled me
00:21:40what can I say
00:21:41let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays
00:21:45oh now you don't want to ruin Christmas
00:21:47oh come on Eva
00:21:48we were just looking out for you
00:21:50please forgive us Mr. Harrison
00:21:52you know my youngest son is graduating
00:21:54soon
00:21:55do you think that uh
00:21:57you could help him get his foot in the door
00:21:59a job at the Harrison group
00:22:01even in the mail room would open doors
00:22:04we are family aren't we
00:22:06family takes care of each other
00:22:08if you guys want a job at the Harrison group
00:22:11you can put in an application like everyone else
00:22:13Abigail come on
00:22:15talk to her for us
00:22:16didn't you just say that my daughter was
00:22:19undateable
00:22:20yeah
00:22:20I think you need to take care of your own issues first
00:22:23my daughter is just far too busy
00:22:26for your best life
00:22:27for my new son-in-law
00:22:28come on guys let's go in
00:22:31welcome to the family
00:22:32welcome
00:22:36come on in
00:22:36come on in
00:22:37this is your fault Pam
00:22:42you can't tell the difference between AI and reality
00:22:46my fault
00:22:47you were the one who was pushing her onto that worm
00:22:50William
00:22:50oh
00:22:51hey
00:23:01how do you have that car
00:23:02and how do you know the CEO of Harrison group
00:23:04and how do you
00:23:05I told you
00:23:06I work for Harrison group remember
00:23:07I have a friend in high places
00:23:10a friend who just hands you keys to a million dollar one of a kind luxury cars
00:23:15yes
00:23:15it's the season of giving
00:23:17he knows people
00:23:19has connections
00:23:20he's a big deal
00:23:21kind of guy
00:23:22you're a crime boss aren't you
00:23:24and you best not forget it capiche
00:23:27oh my god just don't blow your cover
00:23:28dad
00:23:31mom
00:23:32thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home
00:23:35oh honey
00:23:36we're just so happy that you found such a handsome
00:23:40strong
00:23:41good looking
00:23:42I think they get it
00:23:44how's Piper
00:23:47oh she's fine
00:23:49one of you guys just get settled in
00:23:51and we will go check on her
00:23:52and if your mom takes a cold shower
00:23:55we'll come back and finish decorating the tree
00:23:57great
00:23:58see you in a bit
00:23:59Joey
00:24:00what are you doing
00:24:01okay
00:24:04hey was that not a breach of contract
00:24:09relax
00:24:11it was just a hug
00:24:12we just got here and I'm already exhausted
00:24:18you'll be okay
00:24:19it's just one week
00:24:21kill me now
00:24:22well I would but
00:24:23I need to get paid
00:24:24what are you doing
00:24:30that's weird
00:24:32they were so lovey-dovey just a second ago
00:24:35then
00:24:35I don't know something just fills off
00:24:37that's ridiculous
00:24:39I mean what do you want to go down
00:24:41they have a promise to prove it
00:24:43later
00:24:46let's go
00:24:50here we go
00:24:55Piper is all tucked in
00:24:58honey everything looks amazing
00:24:59and happy holidays
00:25:00to the newest member of our family
00:25:02Max
00:25:03oh
00:25:04welcome
00:25:06cheers
00:25:07thank you miss Smith
00:25:08looks great
00:25:09oh just call me mom honey
00:25:11I had no idea what you liked
00:25:13so I just whipped up a little bit of everything
00:25:15but we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is right
00:25:19oh no mom's testing him
00:25:22she's trying to see if he's legit
00:25:24you mean to tell me you two are married
00:25:26and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food
00:25:28ow
00:25:31Eva sweetie
00:25:33kicking my foot
00:25:35oh sorry mom
00:25:36oh jeez
00:25:38it's okay
00:25:40look mom of course he knows
00:25:42it's
00:25:42I would like to hear Max say it
00:25:4412 pumpkin pies
00:25:58I hear this right
00:25:59they're the best kind
00:26:01well of course
00:26:03it's pumpkin pie
00:26:05see
00:26:06are you happy now
00:26:07that's good
00:26:09but something still falls off
00:26:10mom
00:26:11don't make it weird
00:26:12okay
00:26:13we had a whirlwind romance
00:26:16and we eloped
00:26:17before we got to know everything about each other
00:26:19but our marriage is real
00:26:20I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows
00:26:25now those are quality
00:26:28okay well then answer this
00:26:31where's your wedding ring Eva
00:26:33where's your wedding ring Eva
00:26:37I knew it was a good idea to pick this up
00:26:41well
00:26:43um
00:26:43it's
00:26:44silly face dropped it outside on the sidewalk
00:26:48luckily I was there to pick it up for
00:26:50silly face
00:26:52I am not paying extra for this
00:26:55consider it a Christmas gift
00:26:57that's lousers
00:26:58that's nice
00:27:00you can afford this on a waste manager's salary
00:27:03well believe it or not miss smith
00:27:05there is a lot of garbage out there
00:27:07and I'm not just talking about William
00:27:09I'll drink to that
00:27:11I agree with you there
00:27:12so come on guys let's eat
00:27:15and this is where y'all will be staying
00:27:30I have another room set up for Piper
00:27:33nice and festive for you
00:27:35no complications right
00:27:37sorry honey
00:27:38uh mom you know what
00:27:40I should stay with Piper tonight
00:27:42oh honey
00:27:42newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart
00:27:44oh I just remembered
00:27:48the city's turning the water off at 10
00:27:50something about water conservation
00:27:52that means you have 15 minutes to shower
00:27:5415 minutes
00:27:55honey it's no big deal
00:27:58just shower together
00:27:59shower together
00:28:01just shower together
00:28:06okay you guys have a good night
00:28:08okay
00:28:08you heard her
00:28:13why are you stripping
00:28:37well I can't take a shower
00:28:39with my clothes on
00:28:40come on we're wasting time
00:28:42you have 15 minutes
00:28:42nice try
00:28:43I am not showering with you
00:28:45alright sleep yourself
00:28:47all room for getting in there
00:28:48not if I reach you there first
00:28:50come on Max
00:29:07get out of the way
00:29:09we agreed nothing physical
00:29:11you're the one with the dirty thoughts wifey
00:29:14relax
00:29:14I won't touch you
00:29:16unless you say you want me to
00:29:18but that'll cost extra
00:29:22and your dreams
00:29:32free to join me
00:29:48you know if you keep staring at my ass
00:29:56you're not going to have any shower water left
00:29:58you wish
00:29:59why aren't you getting in
00:30:00pray you'll fall for me
00:30:02it's you who has to worry about resisting me
00:30:06oh yeah
00:30:06true
00:30:08holy shit
00:30:21this is
00:30:25this is going to be harder than I thought
00:30:28I'll say
00:30:29what happened to all that cool guy confidence
00:30:32still think you can resist
00:30:34baby
00:30:36I don't think I want you
00:30:39Max I shouldn't
00:30:45or maybe we should
00:30:49god he's such a good kisser
00:30:52why does this feel so
00:30:54familiar
00:30:56Max we cannot do this
00:31:14what I didn't mean to cross
00:31:17it's not you Max
00:31:18it's us
00:31:18it's this
00:31:19this is all an act
00:31:20let's not make it more complicated than it is
00:31:23you're right
00:31:24I'm sorry
00:31:27I just need to be sorry
00:31:29just
00:31:29that birthmark
00:31:38what is that
00:31:44it's him
00:31:47the man from new years
00:31:48is he
00:31:49Piper's father
00:31:50why are you acting
00:31:55oh my god
00:31:58Max is Piper's father
00:32:00are you okay
00:32:02yeah
00:32:02I just
00:32:04I just got lightheaded
00:32:06I think I just need a few more minutes
00:32:08alone
00:32:09of course
00:32:11we have a daughter together
00:32:16oh my god
00:32:17what do I do
00:32:19I'm gonna sleep on the floor
00:32:26you can take the bed
00:32:28thanks
00:32:29hey
00:32:32are you sure you're okay
00:32:34look fake marriage aside
00:32:36I'm your husband for the next few days
00:32:38so if there's something you need
00:32:40I can help
00:32:41I want to help
00:32:43he's Piper's father
00:32:45he has a right to know
00:32:46um
00:32:48Max
00:32:49how would you feel
00:32:52if you found out
00:32:53you had a kid
00:32:54a child
00:32:58no no no
00:33:00that's
00:33:00that's impossible
00:33:01I'm
00:33:01very
00:33:02careful
00:33:03mostly
00:33:05I just mean
00:33:07I'm not the type of guy
00:33:08to sleep around
00:33:09family to me
00:33:10is a big commitment
00:33:11and I don't want any loose ends
00:33:14you know
00:33:15right
00:33:16he wouldn't want a kid
00:33:18tying him down
00:33:19I shouldn't tell him about Piper
00:33:21why do you ask
00:33:23no reason
00:33:25just
00:33:25just curious
00:33:26no I feel like you're
00:33:28going somewhere with this
00:33:30what
00:33:31no
00:33:33well then
00:33:34can I ask you a question
00:33:35shoot
00:33:37where did you get these
00:33:43and how did you know my exact size
00:33:46I did not get those
00:33:48I don't know where those came from
00:33:49are you sure
00:33:50you're just not trying to
00:33:52break the contract
00:33:53give me that
00:33:56give me
00:33:56give me
00:33:57give me
00:33:58give me
00:33:58give me
00:33:58give me
00:33:58woo
00:33:59Eva
00:34:10the truth is
00:34:12is that I
00:34:13go go go
00:34:17just a second
00:34:19come in
00:34:20hey hon
00:34:22oh
00:34:23sorry for interrupting
00:34:25but Piper is asking
00:34:27for a bedtime story
00:34:29before I tuck around
00:34:30think you could take this one dad
00:34:31we're kind of in the middle
00:34:32of something
00:34:33I can see that
00:34:34well why don't I read it to her
00:34:37I mean if you don't
00:34:38if you don't mind
00:34:39well
00:34:40atta boy
00:34:41you know what
00:34:42just put a shirt on
00:34:43I'm gonna go get her
00:34:44Piper
00:34:45here comes grandpa
00:34:46he sprang to his sleigh
00:34:51to his team gave a whistle
00:34:52and away they all flew
00:34:54like the down of a thistle
00:34:56but I heard him exclaim
00:34:58as he drove out of sight
00:34:59merry christmas to all
00:35:02and to all
00:35:03a good night
00:35:05if Piper knew he was her real dad
00:35:09she'd be over the moon
00:35:11goodnight Piper
00:35:12is her dad still around
00:35:18yeah but he doesn't know it
00:35:21because you're her dad
00:35:23uh no
00:35:23that man has no idea
00:35:26what a treasure
00:35:27he's missing out on
00:35:30do you really think so
00:35:34from the bottom of my heart
00:35:36maybe I should tell him
00:35:38he deserves to know
00:35:39Max
00:35:47you're Piper's father
00:35:52I'll tell you when the time's right
00:36:00where's Piper?
00:36:26she must have snuck off
00:36:28while we were asleep
00:36:29god he's such a good kisser
00:36:47just gonna kiss and run
00:36:57not on my watch
00:36:59yeah this
00:37:04good morning you two love bugs
00:37:19how was your stay
00:37:21at Chateau Smith
00:37:22good morning Miss Smith
00:37:24it was uh
00:37:25it was great
00:37:25wonderful
00:37:26well it's about to get even better
00:37:28oh no
00:37:32what is that
00:37:33sardines and saltines
00:37:34it's a Smith family classic
00:37:36it was my gram gram's favorite
00:37:38during wartime
00:37:39don't be shy
00:37:40go ahead and grab a handful
00:37:41Max you don't have to
00:37:44no no
00:37:45it's okay
00:37:46it's a
00:37:46Smith family staple
00:37:48come on
00:37:59good
00:38:08good
00:38:09good
00:38:09scrumptious
00:38:12well you two better get dressed
00:38:15you gotta go see Aunt Miranda
00:38:16could I um
00:38:19could I have some water please
00:38:21that means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda
00:38:23in her brood this year
00:38:24what's the deal with them
00:38:26every year Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I
00:38:29says Piper's a fatherless brat
00:38:31and I'm
00:38:32hey don't worry
00:38:34I'll protect you and Piper
00:38:37better have Sam on standby tonight
00:38:41just in case
00:38:42well
00:38:43looks like it's time to get dressed up then
00:38:46wait that earring
00:38:58wait
00:39:00that earring
00:39:01you like it
00:39:02I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago
00:39:06did you lose it
00:39:07seven years ago
00:39:08I don't really remember the details
00:39:10but
00:39:11luckily
00:39:12I was
00:39:12able to find a new pair
00:39:14right
00:39:15that's just a common earring
00:39:17anyone can have it
00:39:18maybe I'm reading too much into it
00:39:20she can't be the woman from seven years ago
00:39:22so Ava and Piper
00:39:27still aren't here
00:39:28but Derek said that Ava got married
00:39:31what kind of man could she possibly have landed
00:39:35an aging single mom
00:39:38slim pickings
00:39:39I heard
00:39:40he's in waste management
00:39:42that explains it
00:39:43she's probably too embarrassed to show up
00:39:46oh please Miranda
00:39:48Ava is your niece
00:39:50oh come on grandpa
00:39:51everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one night stand
00:39:55her track record speaks for itself
00:39:57exactly
00:39:58not like my Sierra
00:39:59married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group
00:40:03oh
00:40:05they're here
00:40:07Merry Christmas everybody
00:40:08Merry Christmas everybody
00:40:15Merry Christmas
00:40:16you must be Grandpa Harold
00:40:19I am
00:40:20I'm Ava's husband
00:40:22Max
00:40:22pleasure to meet you
00:40:23welcome
00:40:24you're Ava's husband
00:40:25but
00:40:27you're gorgeous
00:40:29but
00:40:31not as handsome as you
00:40:32look at you two
00:40:34you look like you just stepped out of a movie
00:40:36Merry Christmas Grandpa
00:40:37this is for Max and I
00:40:40oh my goodness
00:40:41thank you Ava
00:40:42let me grab that for you daddy
00:40:44oops
00:40:46oh my bad
00:40:47ooh
00:40:48a homemade gift
00:40:49how thrifty
00:40:51not all gifts are about the price tag
00:40:54mommy's right
00:40:55you mean a little hack
00:40:56you little
00:40:58you will not lay a hand on my daughter
00:41:02or you will lose yours
00:41:03oh
00:41:04I think you broke my wrist
00:41:07look what you just did to my mother
00:41:09my husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor
00:41:12he could ruin your life
00:41:14mommy are you okay
00:41:28I'm fine
00:41:28I'm just wet huh
00:41:30yeah
00:41:30it's okay
00:41:31it's okay
00:41:32what are you
00:41:35don't you dare disrespect my husband
00:41:39did you just slap me
00:41:41next time it'll be a closed fist
00:41:43you're a fucking psycho
00:41:45you know what Sierra
00:41:45I can take your little insults
00:41:47but leave my family out of this
00:41:49her family
00:41:52she needs me
00:41:53you okay honey
00:41:59do I look okay to you
00:42:01dumbass
00:42:01do something
00:42:02you don't know who you're messing with
00:42:04I've got the full weight
00:42:06of the Harrison Group behind me
00:42:07oh wow
00:42:08I'm sure the CEO
00:42:09would love to hear
00:42:10that you're using
00:42:11his company's name
00:42:12to bully people
00:42:13like you'd have any idea
00:42:15how a CEO thinks
00:42:16let's call him
00:42:17I'm sure he'd be more than happy
00:42:19to be on my side
00:42:20please
00:42:21who do you think you are
00:42:22enough
00:42:24there will be no arguing
00:42:27during Christmas
00:42:28fine dad
00:42:30let it go Nathan
00:42:32they're just jealous
00:42:34for grandpa's sake
00:42:37I'll let you off easy
00:42:38I think you
00:42:39owe Nathan
00:42:40a thank you
00:42:41I think you
00:42:43owe me a thank you
00:42:44for slapping some sense into you
00:42:45do you want me to get the other cheek
00:42:46alright that's enough
00:42:48everyone come inside
00:42:49and sit down
00:42:51is this a joke
00:43:12can you please pass me some food
00:43:15hold it
00:43:16who said you could eat anything else
00:43:17my husband and I
00:43:19paid for this feast
00:43:21my husband and I
00:43:25paid for this feast
00:43:27king crab
00:43:29fresh from Alaska
00:43:30and grass fed wagyu
00:43:32three times the price
00:43:34fifty times the flavor
00:43:36and you don't get a single bite
00:43:38it's just petty
00:43:39maybe so
00:43:41but gourmet food
00:43:42isn't meant
00:43:43for bottom feeders
00:43:45fine
00:43:46then we won't stay
00:43:48and eat with you
00:43:48come on let's go
00:43:49no no
00:43:50don't you dare
00:43:52leave our family dinner
00:43:54grandpa I'm sorry
00:43:55but they're treating us like
00:43:57I know dear
00:43:58I just want to have
00:43:59our family together
00:44:00fine
00:44:01we'll let the strays
00:44:02sit and eat with us
00:44:04better a stray than a bitch
00:44:06what was that?
00:44:06I just want to have
00:44:11our family together
00:44:12fine
00:44:13we'll stay
00:44:15can I have a little nibble?
00:44:18it's okay sweetie
00:44:19we'll get something
00:44:20right after
00:44:21like drive-thru
00:44:22I hope you enjoy
00:44:24food poisoning
00:44:25that will be a
00:44:26particularly memorable
00:44:28Christmas present
00:44:29no strays
00:44:31ow
00:44:32sweetie are you okay?
00:44:34yes please
00:44:35you hit my child
00:44:36you're fucking crazy
00:44:38well if you'd teach her
00:44:39some manners
00:44:40maybe I wouldn't have to
00:44:42don't worry baby
00:44:46I'll handle it
00:44:47don't worry baby
00:44:51I'll handle it
00:44:52Piper
00:44:56sweetie
00:44:57are you ready to try
00:44:58the best food
00:44:59you've ever had
00:45:00in your life?
00:45:00okay sweetheart
00:45:04give me two minutes
00:45:05and one phone call
00:45:06as if you
00:45:07have a chef
00:45:08on speed dial
00:45:09actually I do
00:45:10he's such a liar
00:45:13this ought to be hilarious
00:45:14oh
00:45:15it will be
00:45:16Sam
00:45:19yeah
00:45:20send the troops
00:45:21and bring that king crab
00:45:23from Antarctica
00:45:23I'm already on my way
00:45:25bring that king crab
00:45:30from Antarctica
00:45:31I'm already on my way
00:45:32you hear this guy?
00:45:36he wants the best king crab
00:45:37in the world
00:45:38from Antarctica
00:45:39now I get why
00:45:41you married him Eva
00:45:42his silly delusions
00:45:44are just
00:45:44adorable
00:45:45Max
00:45:46what are you doing?
00:45:48don't worry about it sweetheart
00:45:49Santa's already on his way
00:45:50actually
00:45:51five
00:45:53four
00:45:54three
00:45:55two
00:45:57one
00:45:58a helicopter?
00:46:08there's no way
00:46:10how did you pull this off?
00:46:16Sam is like family
00:46:17I thought I'd introduce you to
00:46:19thanks boss
00:46:20boss?
00:46:22Eva's always been genuine with me
00:46:24maybe it's time she knew
00:46:26who I really am
00:46:27Eva I think it's time you
00:46:28actually know the truth
00:46:30I'm
00:46:31Maximus Harrison
00:46:32you're
00:46:34the CEO
00:46:35of Harrison Group?
00:46:37mhm
00:46:38come on
00:46:41you can stop kidding around
00:46:44if you were the CEO
00:46:46why would you be here
00:46:47pretending to be my husband?
00:46:49no I actually am
00:46:50the CEO
00:46:50come on
00:46:51you can stop the charade
00:46:52okay this is just another favor
00:46:54from that bigwig friend isn't it?
00:46:55Eva
00:46:56I'm not pretending
00:46:57Mr. Harrison
00:47:00the Antarctic king crab
00:47:01as you requested
00:47:02how is this possible this loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:47:20who are you?
00:47:22I told you
00:47:22I'm Eva's husband
00:47:24that chef called him Mr. Harrison
00:47:27wait
00:47:27no
00:47:28hold on
00:47:29hold on
00:47:29you're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:47:35you're worth more than some whole countries
00:47:37hmm
00:47:38some of the small ones
00:47:39I mean you know that
00:47:41you work for me
00:47:43oh god
00:47:44I insulted my own boss
00:47:46I'm finished
00:47:47oh god
00:47:53I insulted my own boss
00:47:55I'm finished
00:47:56didn't think Max would commit this hard
00:47:59pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move
00:48:01worth every penny I'm paying him
00:48:03for tonight
00:48:04your feast ends
00:48:05and with that
00:48:07your career
00:48:08you're fired
00:48:09fired?
00:48:10Sam
00:48:11you're fired?
00:48:16oh god
00:48:17I can't be fired
00:48:18what?
00:48:21Mr. Harrison please
00:48:22you can have as much crab as you want
00:48:24please
00:48:25Mr. Harrison
00:48:26I'll do anything
00:48:27guys
00:48:28take out the trash
00:48:29and you
00:48:35oh me?
00:48:38Mr. Harrison
00:48:39come on
00:48:40that was a Christmas joke
00:48:41a family tradition
00:48:43yeah well
00:48:44there's a new family tradition
00:48:45Sam
00:48:46will you do me the honors?
00:48:53gladly
00:48:54Merry Christmas
00:48:59Aunt Maria
00:48:59Father
00:49:02do something
00:49:04well you kind of deserve that
00:49:06I'm leaving
00:49:07pumpkin
00:49:09pumpkin
00:49:09my favorite
00:49:10come on sweetie
00:49:17daddy had this crab
00:49:18running just for you
00:49:19eat as much as you want
00:49:21thanks daddy
00:49:22I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas
00:49:27I just couldn't take them treating you like that
00:49:29honestly
00:49:30this is the best Christmas I've ever had
00:49:33well if you want we can have many more
00:49:35just like this
00:49:36does he really mean that
00:49:39or is he just playing the part
00:49:40I can't tell
00:49:42and that terrifies me
00:49:44Merry Christmas
00:49:49Merry Christmas Mrs. Harrison
00:49:50I brought you a gift
00:49:51here's the paternity test
00:49:52between the boss
00:49:53and that little girl
00:49:54oh
00:49:55this is wonderful
00:50:02Sam I have a granddaughter
00:50:04tell me everything
00:50:07Miss Eva Smith
00:50:08single mother
00:50:08small town gal
00:50:10didn't finish high school
00:50:11currently works in retail
00:50:12oh Maximus I thought I raised you better
00:50:15a high school dropout
00:50:18in the Harrison family
00:50:20not a chance
00:50:22she is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:50:29Maximus seems to like her
00:50:30silence
00:50:30get me the address where she works
00:50:33it's Happy Heels on Broadway
00:50:34that's nice
00:50:36we own that one
00:50:38good work
00:50:39but take off that stupid hat
00:50:41thanks
00:50:51so your dad insisted
00:50:53that I try this wine
00:50:54that he's been saving
00:50:55for 20 years
00:50:56sounds like he's happy
00:50:59with his new son-in-law
00:51:00and how about you
00:51:01me?
00:51:06yeah
00:51:06are you happy
00:51:09happy with your new husband?
00:51:13Eva
00:51:14that birthmark
00:51:26family to me is
00:51:27a big commitment
00:51:28and
00:51:29I don't want any loose ends
00:51:31you know
00:51:32Maximus
00:51:33there's so much
00:51:34we don't know
00:51:34so much
00:51:35we're not telling each other
00:51:36no feelings
00:51:39no complications
00:51:40that's what we agreed upon
00:51:41yeah I didn't sign a contract
00:51:43Max
00:51:45yeah I guess you're right
00:51:46it's cold
00:51:49maybe I'll go grab
00:51:51some more firewood
00:51:52Max
00:51:54I need to tell you something
00:51:57something important
00:52:01what's gotten into her
00:52:02is she hiding something?
00:52:05is this the part
00:52:06where you tell me
00:52:06there's no Santa?
00:52:08I haven't been
00:52:09completely honest with you
00:52:10Piper is
00:52:13Piper is
00:52:17mommy
00:52:18daddy
00:52:18my hand hurts
00:52:20sweetie
00:52:21oh my gosh
00:52:22it's all swollen
00:52:23must have been
00:52:24when that witch
00:52:24smacked her with the fork
00:52:25earlier
00:52:25listen you stay here
00:52:26with daddy
00:52:27mommy's gonna go
00:52:27get a first date kit
00:52:28okay?
00:52:31come on Piper
00:52:32okay let me see
00:52:36I promise
00:52:40I won't let anyone
00:52:42hurt you or mommy
00:52:43again
00:52:43but that's not true
00:52:45you're leaving
00:52:45after Christmas
00:52:46aren't you?
00:52:49uh
00:52:49daddy
00:52:50no
00:52:51well
00:52:52don't you dare
00:52:59disrespect my husband
00:53:01well maybe I don't
00:53:04have to leave
00:53:05well maybe I don't
00:53:08have to leave
00:53:08really?
00:53:09please stay daddy
00:53:10you think it was Scar?
00:53:17hmm
00:53:18I wouldn't worry about it
00:53:21scars make you look
00:53:22like a badass
00:53:23I have one too
00:53:24dad
00:53:26I got that when I was
00:53:28about your age
00:53:29some punk came at me
00:53:30with a switchblade
00:53:32really?
00:53:33no way
00:53:34no
00:53:34it was actually a cactus
00:53:36but it's still cool
00:53:37I have something like that
00:53:41on the back of my neck
00:53:42Piper
00:53:45Piper
00:53:45how long have you had that?
00:53:47my mom said I had that
00:53:48when I was born
00:53:49and how old are you?
00:53:56six
00:53:57six?
00:53:58that one night stand
00:53:59was about seven years ago
00:54:01okay I found the first aid kit
00:54:02Ivor are you sure
00:54:04we haven't met before?
00:54:07what do I even say?
00:54:09and how do I explain it
00:54:10to Piper?
00:54:11sorry honey
00:54:12this man's your dad
00:54:13and he didn't know
00:54:14you existed
00:54:14until now
00:54:15can I see your hand sweetie?
00:54:22Eva
00:54:23okay look
00:54:28Piper is
00:54:32go on
00:54:37that must be an emergency
00:54:45excuse me
00:54:47sorry
00:54:48I'll take this
00:54:49mommy are you okay?
00:54:57yeah
00:54:58mommy's just realizing
00:55:00she's a coward
00:55:01I don't even have the guts
00:55:03to tell the truth
00:55:04why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:55:09I'm telling you Max
00:55:11that woman is manipulating you
00:55:13she's a high school dropout
00:55:15doesn't even have a decent job
00:55:17and she's unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:55:19I'm Eva's husband
00:55:21Max
00:55:21that man has no idea
00:55:24what a treasure
00:55:25he's missing out on
00:55:27I'm sorry Max
00:55:31you can't know Piper's your daughter
00:55:33your mother would take her away
00:55:34after Christmas
00:55:36it's over
00:55:37Eva?
00:55:41Maximus?
00:55:41are you even listening to me?
00:55:44no mom mom
00:55:45listen
00:55:45I'm sorry
00:55:46okay
00:55:46Eva's my wife
00:55:47and I've made up my mind
00:55:48I'm not leaving her
00:55:50Eva?
00:55:58thank you
00:55:58thank you
00:55:59this is for you grandma
00:56:04oh wow
00:56:10that's so cool
00:56:12did you make it?
00:56:13uh Derek
00:56:14this is from
00:56:15Eva and I
00:56:16oh
00:56:17thank you so much
00:56:18just
00:56:19thanks guys
00:56:20glad you're here
00:56:21got it
00:56:24oh
00:56:24wow
00:56:25damn
00:56:26these are nice
00:56:26grandpa
00:56:27language
00:56:29little ears
00:56:30Piper
00:56:35do you want to go see your present?
00:56:37it's in the other room
00:56:38by the train set
00:56:39here I'll go with you
00:56:40remember the song that we sang
00:56:41ready ready
00:56:42grandma got run over
00:56:44by a reindeer
00:56:44what we got guys
00:56:45walking home from our house
00:56:47Christmas Eve
00:56:48you never told me
00:56:53have we met before?
00:57:01have we met before?
00:57:04she's unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:57:06I don't know what you're getting at
00:57:11Eva
00:57:13I have the same birthmark
00:57:14as Piper
00:57:15I don't know what you're talking about
00:57:25lots of people have birthmarks
00:57:26they're very common
00:57:26I feel so awful
00:57:28but I can't lose my child
00:57:30no matter how I feel about him
00:57:32maybe
00:57:35are you okay?
00:57:41are the clogs a bad idea?
00:57:42no
00:57:44I'm fine
00:57:45um
00:57:47oh
00:57:49I almost forgot
00:57:50I got you this
00:57:53you got me a gift too?
00:57:56tis the season
00:57:56open it
00:57:58gloves
00:58:11did you make these?
00:58:15yeah
00:58:15I know this is a fake marriage
00:58:17but
00:58:18that's Christmas
00:58:19you've already done so much for me
00:58:21I just wanted to do a little something for you
00:58:23how do they feel?
00:58:27warm right?
00:58:29yeah
00:58:29warm
00:58:31soft
00:58:33perfect
00:58:36thank you Eva
00:58:40I've never gotten anything this meaningful before
00:58:44really?
00:58:46yeah my mom
00:58:48she partied all the time
00:58:50and
00:58:51I got gifts
00:58:52plenty of them
00:58:53but
00:58:53I don't think she ever bought one herself
00:58:56nothing
00:58:58personal
00:58:59well
00:59:00well you deserve it
00:59:01you're a good guy
00:59:03and
00:59:05someday you'll
00:59:06find
00:59:07someone special
00:59:08to
00:59:09spend all your Christmases with
00:59:11what if that day's today
00:59:13what if I already found someone special
00:59:19right here
00:59:21what if you want me to stop?
00:59:36Max, we can't.
00:59:49If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
00:59:56Come on.
00:59:58I don't want you to stop.
00:59:59No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:00:22I want you.
01:00:29Oh, God, you are trying to be fucking insane.
01:00:39Piper!
01:00:48Piper?
01:00:50She can't see you.
01:00:59Piper!
01:01:09Eva?
01:01:13Grandma, I'm up here!
01:01:15That was way too close.
01:01:30Yeah.
01:01:31We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:01:36Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:01:38Can I still unwrap my present?
01:01:45You still haven't given me mine.
01:01:52Let me give it to you.
01:02:08We've been talking.
01:02:09I'm up here.
01:02:10I got on the naughty list.
01:02:12I'm up here.
01:02:12I'm up here.
01:02:13I'm up here.
01:02:13I'm up here.
01:02:26I've got a good idea.
01:02:28I'm up here.
01:02:29I'm up here.
01:02:30What are you calling me to us anyway?
01:02:32Hello?
01:02:32Hello, Eva.
01:02:34Hello?
01:02:36Hello, Eva Smith.
01:02:38I'm Max's mother.
01:02:40Name your price.
01:02:42What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:02:44What?
01:02:46We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:02:48Take the money,
01:02:50leave my granddaughter with us,
01:02:52and go.
01:02:54My son will find a better wife and a better mother
01:02:56for his child.
01:02:58Piper is my daughter.
01:03:00And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:03:02So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own.
01:03:04But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:03:09Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:03:15You okay?
01:03:19Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:03:23So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:03:27What are you talking about?
01:03:29It's over.
01:03:30It's not that hard to understand.
01:03:32What?
01:03:35Eva, wait!
01:03:40So last night meant nothing to you?
01:03:47Well, Max, it's not real.
01:03:49None of it was real.
01:03:51So, it's just a goodbye.
01:03:55Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:03:58Look.
01:04:00Last night,
01:04:02I let my guard down.
01:04:04But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:04:07And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:04:10Just tell me what you need.
01:04:12I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband,
01:04:15a good father.
01:04:17Just say the word.
01:04:18You don't get it.
01:04:23You don't get it.
01:04:25You don't get it.
01:04:33I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:04:35You don't get it.
01:04:40I won't give up on us.
01:04:57Are we here?
01:04:59Yes.
01:05:01As much as I don't want us to be,
01:05:03we're back.
01:05:07Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:05:08We're home.
01:05:10How can she just walk away?
01:05:23Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:05:25It's part of the agreement, too.
01:05:27Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:05:30You promised.
01:05:32Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:05:34Can you do this for me, please?
01:05:36All right, fine.
01:05:39When?
01:05:41Two days.
01:05:42I'll come pick you up.
01:05:44No need.
01:05:45Just send me the address, Mommy, either.
01:05:52I know you and Mommy thought,
01:05:55but she still really likes you,
01:05:57so don't give up, okay, Daddy?
01:06:00Thank you, sweetie.
01:06:01If there's one thing you should know about your Daddy,
01:06:03I always fight for the ones I love.
01:06:26Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:06:28Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:06:29Boss?
01:06:32Boss?
01:06:36Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:06:39I need to go win back my family.
01:06:41Family?
01:06:43Boss, you okay?
01:06:45Never better.
01:06:47Go get her, Max.
01:06:52Give it your best smile.
01:06:53Ah, there he is.
01:06:57Maximus, darling.
01:06:59I have some prospects for you.
01:07:01Nice high society girls from the city.
01:07:06Oh.
01:07:09I told you.
01:07:10I already found the woman I love.
01:07:11Well, I...
01:07:18Maximus, stop this.
01:07:20That Eva woman is scamming you, son.
01:07:24Tell me what kind of woman you want,
01:07:26and I'll find you another.
01:07:28You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:07:31No, I'm not.
01:07:33Oh?
01:07:34I work in waste management,
01:07:36and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:07:39I'm Eva's husband,
01:07:40and I'm a father.
01:07:43What?
01:07:44Yes.
01:07:58That's her.
01:08:00The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:08:04Hi, welcome in.
01:08:06Can I help you find something?
01:08:08I wanted to try those.
01:08:12Awesome, I'll get them for you right away.
01:08:15Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:08:20No, no, no.
01:08:22I know what I want.
01:08:24Size seven.
01:08:26Oh, baby can't even walk,
01:08:28but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:08:30Come on, she wants the white shoes.
01:08:38Ignore her.
01:08:39She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:08:41Here, let me help you.
01:08:42Come on.
01:08:45She...
01:08:48seems kind.
01:08:54I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:08:56She's just doing her job.
01:08:58How do they feel?
01:09:00Well, I love the style,
01:09:02but it's too small.
01:09:04I think I need a size up.
01:09:05Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:09:08Right away.
01:09:12I'll be right back.
01:09:14She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:09:16Was I wrong about her?
01:09:17Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:09:33Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:09:36Well, who gives a shit?
01:09:38She can't walk.
01:09:39That's just pure evil.
01:09:40Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:09:50She's in a wheelchair.
01:09:52Who cares?
01:09:53It's the last pair.
01:09:54I get paid commission.
01:09:57I am not doing that, Vanessa.
01:10:04See?
01:10:06This is your whole problem.
01:10:09This is why you'll always be broke.
01:10:12I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:10:16I'm not selling her junk.
01:10:18She has to deal with people like this?
01:10:21People who insult her all day?
01:10:23I'm your manager.
01:10:29Sell the old bitty the shoes,
01:10:32or you're fired.
01:10:38Did I stutter?
01:10:43You don't have to fire me.
01:10:48I quit.
01:10:53I don't work here anymore.
01:10:56Listen.
01:10:57Don't buy the shoes.
01:10:59They're broken.
01:11:00Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:11:02You're a good person, after all.
01:11:06Looks like I misjudged you.
01:11:08I'm sorry?
01:11:11Why are you still here, Eva?
01:11:14Get out!
01:11:20You're not disabled?
01:11:21Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:11:26Absolutely shameful.
01:11:28Who are you?
01:11:30I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group,
01:11:34and the owner of this store.
01:11:36You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:11:38Mother of the CEO?
01:11:40I am.
01:11:42And you, my dear, are fired.
01:11:45What did I do?
01:11:46Yeah.
01:11:49You are a good person.
01:11:52From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:11:58Are you serious?
01:12:00That's right.
01:12:03Don't be nervous, child.
01:12:05You are professional.
01:12:07Responsible.
01:12:09Far better than that two-bit manager.
01:12:14You.
01:12:16Out.
01:12:18I'll leave.
01:12:20I'm leaving.
01:12:24I...
01:12:26I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:12:28No.
01:12:29Don't worry.
01:12:31You're getting a promotion.
01:12:33You deserve it, my dear.
01:12:37First assignment.
01:12:39I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:12:45Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:12:48Okay.
01:12:50Once we're home, I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:12:55I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:12:57And daughter.
01:13:04She's the mother of a CEO.
01:13:06Of course she lives like this.
01:13:18Mrs. Harrison?
01:13:19I'm here with your delivery.
01:13:23Max?
01:13:25Eva?
01:13:27What are you doing here?
01:13:29I, uh...
01:13:31There you are, Eva!
01:13:33Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:13:36My new daughter-in-law.
01:13:39What are you talking...
01:13:43That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:13:48Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:13:50Stop!
01:13:52And you!
01:13:53You lied to me at the store!
01:13:54You were both just testing me?
01:13:57Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:14:00I'm sorry, Eva.
01:14:01I thought you might be using my son just after his money.
01:14:05But I was wrong.
01:14:07Eva, please.
01:14:08I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:14:10Not every working-class girl is after your money.
01:14:13How could you think that of me?
01:14:14It's not like that, dear.
01:14:16Eva, what are you talking about?
01:14:19Mom!
01:14:20What did you do?
01:14:22I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:14:24We're not together.
01:14:26And I can't love something that was never real.
01:14:28I made a horrible mistake.
01:14:29What are you waiting for, son?
01:14:30Go after her.
01:14:31Eva.
01:14:32Let me go!
01:14:33I swear, it's not what you think!
01:14:34Look, we come from two completely different worlds.
01:14:35Stop pretending like you care!
01:14:36I'm not pretending!
01:14:37Okay?
01:14:38I can't fake what we have.
01:14:39In everything I've done for you, and Piper, this is real.
01:14:41Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:14:46Alright, you came.
01:14:47God, you weren't driving me fucking insane.
01:14:50pretending okay i can't fake what we have and everything i've done for you and piper this is
01:14:56real touch my wife again and i will snap every finger that you've got max you came god you were
01:15:07driving me insane i'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband a good father just say the word
01:15:20see stop fighting we belong together you're wrong wrong about what that you care or we belong
01:15:34together look i already told you we're from two completely different worlds now i held up my end
01:15:40of the deal and i met your mother like we discussed i want to fake divorce from my fake husband
01:15:45i'm sorry maximus walking away is the only choice i have
01:16:06ow are you okay mommy yeah sweetie i'm fine
01:16:15no you're not fine you're sad
01:16:26i'm okay sweetie
01:16:30i miss daddy too
01:16:34i want max to be my real daddy
01:16:39don't you want to be with him
01:16:40love bug you're right what am i doing running like a coward
01:16:50i always taught you to be brave now it's time for mommy to be brave too
01:16:56i believe in you what are you gonna do mommy i know exactly what to say to him
01:17:02don't you want you to know
01:17:04i know i'm not standing there
01:17:04i'm not aены
01:17:05i can't help you live in the world
01:17:06i'll see you in the world
01:17:07i want you to be moving in the world
01:17:08i want to be with my france
01:17:10who will be with your child
01:17:11love you
01:17:11not enough sulking
01:17:14go get your wife and my grandbaby back
01:17:16look at my grandbaby
01:17:18show up
01:17:19go get your wife and my grandbaby back
01:17:20don't you think i want to
01:17:22she doesn't want me
01:17:24i didn't raise you to give up
01:17:25put your daughter is still out there
01:17:27you can't abandon her
01:17:29Mom, you don't get it.
01:17:31I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:17:34And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:17:38What are you talking about?
01:17:40I already ran a DNA test.
01:17:43Piper is your daughter.
01:17:45What?
01:17:46See for yourself.
01:17:54I was right.
01:17:55Seven years ago.
01:17:57New Years, that woman was Eva.
01:18:10Eva!
01:18:12Hey.
01:18:14Daddy!
01:18:16Daddy!
01:18:17Piper!
01:18:21I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:18:28You came back.
01:18:32I, uh...
01:18:35Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:18:43I, uh...
01:18:45I was scared.
01:18:46But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:18:49Because what we have is real and it's worth fighting for.
01:18:53Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:18:57I have something to tell you, too.
01:19:01Piper is your daughter.
01:19:03You knew.
01:19:05My sweet granddaughter.
01:19:07Mama!
01:19:11Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago.
01:19:13But you've known this whole time?
01:19:15I was scared.
01:19:16Okay, I didn't know if you were gonna take her from me.
01:19:18I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:19:22How could you not know how I felt?
01:19:23I love you, Eva.
01:19:36I love you, too.
01:19:38I promise.
01:19:40For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:19:44As long as we're together, it doesn't matter where we are.
01:19:48It doesn't matter where we are.
01:19:59Will you marry me, Eva?
01:20:01For real this time?
01:20:03Y-yes.
01:20:05Yes, of course, I'll marry you.
01:20:11Yes!
01:20:12Hi.
01:20:19Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas.
01:20:22And the Christmas after that.
01:20:23And forever.
01:20:27I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:20:34Who's that?
01:20:36Eva!
01:20:39Take me back!
01:20:40I'm sorry!
01:20:42I'm sorry!
01:20:43I'm sorry!
01:20:44I'm sorry!
01:20:45I'm sorry!
01:20:47I'm sorry!
01:20:48I'm sorry!
01:20:49I'm sorry!
01:20:50I'm sorry!
01:20:51I'm sorry!
01:20:52You're tired!
01:20:53I'm sorry!
01:20:54I'm sorry!
01:20:55You're tired!
01:20:57Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:21:00Again.
01:21:02No?
01:21:03Not funny?
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