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Taskmaster Season 20 Episode 102 New Year Treat 2026
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00:00MUSIC
00:27Hello!
00:29Hello, I am Greg Javis, and welcome everybody to the Taskmaster New Year's treat, and I suppose the grand final.
00:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:40Last episode, they rolled the dice, they grappled with bears and completed an inspiring marathon.
00:46But crucially, all of them have ruined the credibility in their chosen field of work.
00:52They're almost certainly going to have to sell their houses and take their families to live in the woods.
00:57Why would they carry on for a second episode? Mummy, there's nothing left to eat!
01:02But look at the eyebrow trophy child! Look what Mummy won! My victory is your meal! That's why!
01:13So, for the second and final time, please welcome the phenomenal...
01:17Big Sur!
01:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:20Jill Schultz!
01:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:23Sam Ryder!
01:25Susie Den!
01:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:28And Rose Aileen Ellen!
01:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:32And next to me, a man who says he likes his women like he likes his coffee.
01:37Not able to drive, vote or answer back.
01:40LAUGHTER
01:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:46Hello, everyone. Hello. Hello, women.
01:49I'm so excited, Greg, so excited about the show.
01:51So excited we're going to spend Saturday together, finally.
01:53I didn't know we were, but I'm very, very happy.
01:56But what are we going to do for the day?
01:58Well, you can choose, Greg, you can choose this or that.
02:00We're going to do this or that.
02:01First of all, how will we spend the day? This or that?
02:03That.
02:04Oh, we're going to go shopping.
02:05We're going to go shopping instead of the aquarium.
02:06We could have gone to the aquarium.
02:07OK.
02:08Are we going to drink? What are we going to drink?
02:09This or that?
02:10This.
02:11This.
02:12Oh, cocktails.
02:13Ooh.
02:14Ooh.
02:15OK.
02:16What are we going to do in the evening after the drinks?
02:18This or that?
02:19That.
02:20That.
02:21Oh, we're going to the theatre.
02:22What will we see?
02:23It's exciting.
02:24Then where will we go?
02:25There we go.
02:26This or that?
02:27LAUGHTER
02:28That.
02:29That.
02:30Oh, we're going back to yours, Greg.
02:32LAUGHTER
02:33Fair play.
02:34It's getting more interesting.
02:35Could have gone back to mine.
02:36And where shall we sleep?
02:38LAUGHTER
02:40LAUGHTER
02:42Oh.
02:43That?
02:44That.
02:45It's...
02:46Bunk beds.
02:47Always bunk beds.
02:48Always bunk beds.
02:49It's got to be bunk beds.
02:50APPLAUSE
02:51Yeah?
02:52It's all right.
02:53OK, it's time for the prize task.
02:56What are we going to learn about them today, Alex?
02:58Well, Greg, I think we're going to learn a lot,
03:00because they've each brought in the most exotic thing
03:03from their actual home.
03:05Yes.
03:06Ooh.
03:07I know.
03:08Earlier on, I asked Greg,
03:09hey, do you want to know the most exotic thing from my home?
03:11And he said no.
03:12LAUGHTER
03:13So let's see what these guys have brought in.
03:14Five points for the most exotic thing.
03:16Five exotic things for the episode winner.
03:18And also, it's all great fun, isn't it?
03:20Oh, it's loads of fun.
03:21Shall I start with Sam Rider?
03:22Oh, shit.
03:23Whoo!
03:24I bought, um, a jumpsuit that I wore, uh, to sing at Eurovision.
03:30Here it is.
03:31Ooh!
03:32Ooh!
03:33Where was the final?
03:34It was in an exotic country?
03:35Turin.
03:36In a business park.
03:37Oh, yeah.
03:38Ooh!
03:39The mysteries of the business park.
03:42It is from his actual home, but it's also been in a museum,
03:45because it's made...
03:46Well, it's like your bed.
03:47It's black denim with 15,000 beads, pearls and glass crystals.
03:50Wow!
03:51What a coincidence!
03:52Sam, it's a strong opener.
03:54Maybe.
03:55The last episode won't define you.
03:57OK.
03:58Rose?
03:59Well, it's my, um...
04:00It's the actual thing, it's my magnet collection.
04:02Yes, she's got a magnet collection.
04:04I don't think things are looking good for Rose.
04:07Look, look, have a look.
04:09They've got quite a lot.
04:10But I thought maybe you might like one of them,
04:13which I think is the most, not of all,
04:15which is, um, the lady from Spain.
04:17The lady from Spain.
04:19Oh, ho, ho, ho!
04:21You don't think that I can be won over
04:23by a large-breasted magnet, do you?
04:26LAUGHTER
04:27No, it...
04:28Yeah, I'm sorry.
04:29I'm really sorry.
04:30I'll let you down.
04:31LAUGHTER
04:32Anyway, I...
04:34No, I probably don't know.
04:35Maybe two point.
04:36That maybe.
04:37LAUGHTER
04:39It's so fun.
04:40I got one point.
04:41We don't know that.
04:42All the people who are left are more than capable
04:44of bringing something worse in.
04:45You know that.
04:46Now, Big Zoo, let me answer a question before I ask it.
04:49The answer is yes.
04:51Can you beat the fridge magnets?
04:53LAUGHTER
04:54No, I didn't see the exotic part.
04:56You didn't see the exotic part,
04:58so you just think the task is to bring in something from your home?
05:02Yeah!
05:03I have bought my, um, incredibly massive television.
05:07LAUGHTER
05:08LAUGHTER
05:09LAUGHTER
05:10LAUGHTER
05:11LAUGHTER
05:12LAUGHTER
05:13LAUGHTER
05:14LAUGHTER
05:15It's a big telly.
05:17It's a big telly, there we go.
05:18It's not a joke.
05:19LAUGHTER
05:20LAUGHTER
05:2185-inch.
05:2285-inch telly roll.
05:23Yeah, yeah.
05:24You told me you were getting a new one, so...
05:26Whoa, whoa, whoa!
05:27LAUGHTER
05:28LAUGHTER
05:29To get rid of it!
05:30We've got our production crew to get rid of your old telly.
05:33No!
05:34That's what...
05:35No!
05:36No!
05:37Do any of you have an 85-inch in your house?
05:38That is a very personal question.
05:40LAUGHTER
05:41LAUGHTER
05:42I would have bet my life those magnets were coming last.
05:46I would have bet my life on it.
05:48LAUGHTER
05:49Jill?
05:50Erm, I did compete in a jungle PV programme,
05:52so I've actually brought in my hat from the jungle.
05:55WHISTLE BLOWS
05:56It is signed by Boy George, Matt Hancock, so...
06:00Oh!
06:01LAUGHTER
06:02Oh, wow!
06:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:04Why don't you go through that?
06:05Huh?
06:06I mean, it was already exotic, but...
06:08Matt Hancock...
06:09Yeah.
06:10..by the former health secretary...
06:12LAUGHTER
06:13LAUGHTER
06:14..the Conservative Party.
06:16LAUGHTER
06:17Oh, it's pretty exotic, though, come on.
06:19One of my magic from a jungle.
06:21Oh!
06:22Yeah.
06:23I watched I'm a Celeb on that telly.
06:25LAUGHTER
06:26LAUGHTER
06:28Susie, the heat's on.
06:29I haven't watched The Jungle from this,
06:31but I have brought in a loo seat,
06:34which is quite exotic.
06:37It's covered in gold leaf.
06:38Also, this is Susie Dent's actual toilet seat.
06:40Yes?
06:41Have a look at this, Craig.
06:42Oh!
06:43Wow!
06:44She's a beauty.
06:46LAUGHTER
06:47Where did you buy her?
06:48I had it made.
06:49Yes!
06:50Oh, why did you ask her that question?
06:52LAUGHTER
06:53One of my favourite words is bumf.
06:54You know, the bumf.
06:55And that is bumfodder, short for bumfodder,
06:58which is loo paper.
06:59Bumfodder?
07:00Yeah, bumfodder.
07:01It's the idea that you're feeding the bum.
07:03Well, I guess so.
07:04LAUGHTER
07:05I think it's a lovely, exotic...
07:08..who hole?
07:10LAUGHTER
07:11Here we go.
07:12Ready?
07:13Scoring.
07:14Yes.
07:15Big Zoo, one point.
07:16Yes.
07:17Obviously, the magnets, two points.
07:18I did say I can do that, two points.
07:20You did say that!
07:21Yes!
07:22LAUGHTER
07:23I'm going to give Susie's toilet seat
07:25as much as I would like to sit on it.
07:28LAUGHTER
07:29I'm going to give it three points.
07:30Three points.
07:31Oh, right.
07:32I'll give Sam's four points.
07:33And the winner...
07:34She bought it from the jungle.
07:35APPLAUSE
07:36So, five points is your score.
07:37APPLAUSE
07:38Let's move on.
07:39It's task time.
07:40What's first to take?
07:41Well, I'm afraid this one might divide people,
07:43but in a really good way.
07:45Oh!
07:46Hmm.
07:47MUSIC PLAYS
07:48Hello.
07:49Hi, Rose.
07:50HE LAUGHS
07:51He looks like he's in one direction.
07:52LAUGHTER
07:53I feel like the Venus de Milo in this show.
07:55Oh!
07:56Oh!
07:57Oh, I thought that was actually through the table.
07:58Was that the whole plan?
07:59Clever, isn't it?
08:00Oh, it's half.
08:01Oh!
08:02It's half.
08:03Oh!
08:04It's half.
08:05Oh!
08:06It's like a poem.
08:07What do I do?
08:08I'm just going to ask.
08:09Well, it's the same system.
08:10You've got to read out the task, do the task.
08:11OK.
08:12OK.
08:13What do you think?
08:14Oh, it's not the same.
08:15I'm going to be playing with the table.
08:16Oh, it's not the same.
08:17It's not the same.
08:18Oh.
08:19It's not the same.
08:20I'm going to be playing with the table.
08:21Oh, I thought that was actually through the table.
08:23Was that the whole plan?
08:24Clever, isn't it?
08:25Oh, it's half.
08:26Oh.
08:27It's like a poem.
08:28If in a really exciting way, if split wins, if...
08:29..if an hour now.
08:32What do I do?
08:33I'm just going to ask.
08:34Well, it's the same system.
08:36Do the task
08:42You didn't hide that very well well explain the thing then
08:48There's so many compartments here am I supposed to look for this now yes in this room
08:55Well, what kind of what this is like a mad escape room my woman come on bro, right?
09:06I
09:08Want to do that straight away, Bob
09:11In half in a really exciting way most it's dating
09:16Half bit when you have half of half an hour, which is 15 minutes your time starts now
09:28Have you split things in half before um I?
09:32Can't no I don't think so you've never split anything in half
09:36Yeah, some reason I thought that my parents are still together. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know that would've been a good one
09:42Well, I could spend maybe so getting against each other now
09:47I'll write it down as an option
09:52Well Sam this is a fair no one has ever been happy to ruin their parents relationship
09:59You are sailing towards five points
10:01Who are we gonna see first okay? Well, what do you get if you take half of Jill and half of Sam?
10:08Cheers, um, I suppose
10:14Honest to God
10:16The amount of times I get bollocks for saying bad things so that's on the autocue
10:21So
10:26Here's jism
10:28I've gone big, okay, I'm gonna split myself in two
10:35Wow, okay, okay, I'm ready ready. Yep
10:38Oh shit
10:59Shit
11:01I split myself in half, literally.
11:16That's very impressive.
11:18Oh, I think that's a stretch.
11:22Still got it, haven't I?
11:31BUZZER
11:40Hey, Mum.
11:41Yeah, just quick, cos I'm on Taskmaster.
11:43Er, I think Dad is having an affair.
11:48He has unfaithful.
11:49All right.
11:56Well, the first thing that struck me,
11:57the production values on both of them
11:59were just Siegfried and Roy.
12:01It was Las Vegas, wasn't it?
12:02Oh!
12:03Absolutely incredible.
12:04It really was, yeah.
12:05And you were actually speaking to your mum.
12:07Had you pre-warned her?
12:08No.
12:09So I had to call her after.
12:12That is spicy.
12:13That's lovely.
12:14I'm a bit confused by yours, Jill,
12:16because clearly there was a false leg involved.
12:18Erm, no, it wasn't real.
12:19But I was creative.
12:21I split myself in two.
12:22When you Google which celebs can do the splits,
12:25you get, cos there are some unlikely people,
12:27you get, you know,
12:29Sam Radcliffe,
12:30Madonna,
12:31Ryan Gosling,
12:32David Suchet,
12:33Miley Cyrus.
12:34But also,
12:35Sam Ryder's name comes up.
12:36Miley Cyrus?
12:37No.
12:38I promise it comes up.
12:39Why am I not surprised Daniel Radcliffe's on the list?
12:41I imagine that's how he watches telly.
12:43OK,
12:44we're halfway through the first half of the show,
12:46during a task about cutting things in half.
12:48And what does that mean?
12:49Ooh!
12:50Greggy go poo-poo and Alex wipe his bop-bots.
12:53Correct!
12:54And I've just eaten three punnets of dates.
12:56Good luck!
12:57Goodbye!
12:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
13:05Hello.
13:06Welcome back to this exceptional New Year's treat.
13:10Yes, the Christmas decorations have been put away
13:12and the shops have already got Easter eggs on their shelves.
13:15It's frigging ridiculous!
13:17They're trying to cut things in half in the most exciting way.
13:20Two more attempts now,
13:21it's Big Zoo and Dent Sue.
13:25Have you gathered what I'm doing?
13:27No.
13:29Come on.
13:30You're going to split something in half?
13:31I'm going to be using the power of my voice.
13:33Yeah.
13:36You're not going to react more?
13:37Wow!
13:38Hi, bro.
13:39Do you remember that for a while,
13:42I don't know if this is still the case,
13:43we're on a one-man mission
13:44to introduce a new sense of honk
13:46into the dictionary?
13:48So I've got something for you.
13:53Oh, this is awful to watch.
13:55It is horrible, I'm so sorry.
13:57OK, so your mission
13:59to introduce a special word into the dictionary
14:02and in here...
14:03Honk in noun meaning money,
14:08I can officially tell you
14:10that I am going to put this up for inclusion
14:13in the Oxford English Dictionary.
14:15It may be the nerdiest task response
14:18that you've ever had,
14:19but I thought you would enjoy it.
14:22He's definitely split in half.
14:23Definitely split in half.
14:24Yeah.
14:25Do you forget?
14:26Ah!
14:28Ah!
14:31Ah!
14:32Ah!
14:35Ah!
14:37Ah!
14:38Ah!
14:39Ah!
14:40Ah!
14:47Ah!
14:53Ah!
14:55Whoa!
14:58Pineapple in the pineapple in the pineapple.
15:01Wicked. Yeah, man.
15:03I thought you'd be a bit more excited.
15:09Well, first things first, I thought that.
15:11The performance, obviously an illusion.
15:13I don't know how you got that pineapple to split.
15:15Captivating. If I'd have been there,
15:17there'd have been tears in my eyes. Thank you.
15:19Superb. Now...
15:21LAUGHTER
15:23I know what you're doing, it's very clever.
15:25You were doing a Donald Trump, you were playing to your base.
15:27Yes. The nerd army.
15:28People come to this show for two reasons.
15:30For nerdery and for eye candy.
15:32And you were right.
15:33You were right to play to the nerds.
15:36Yeah. I panicked a little bit.
15:38And I just thought I knew how much this meant to him,
15:40or so I thought.
15:41Yeah, just to explain, a while ago I tried to get a word in the dictionary
15:44and I wrote a book about it.
15:45Yes. Ah! The word was honk.
15:46I tried to get the word honk as a slang word for money in the dictionary
15:49and Susie knew about this attempt and this was her...
15:52Oh, well, this all makes sense.
15:54Because whenever he starts talking about his books, I tune out.
15:57You tune out.
15:58LAUGHTER
15:59Anyway, there's one big reason why you need to consider me, Greg,
16:03because it's my birthday today.
16:04So...
16:05Oh, what?!
16:06Is it, Susie?
16:07It's an happy birthday!
16:08It is.
16:09I didn't know!
16:10No-one's ever played the birthday card before.
16:12Because...
16:13I didn't realise how ruthless everyone else could be.
16:16Yeah.
16:17We'll probably leave this person on the end.
16:18Yeah.
16:19What, are you going to win because of your birthday?!
16:21That's not fair!
16:22LAUGHTER
16:23It's good, Susie's talking herself up.
16:25I'll think about it.
16:26Who's next?
16:27Finally, it is hello to Rose Ailing Ellis
16:29and goodbye to little Alex Horne.
16:31Hello.
16:32Hi, Rose.
16:33I need you to change your name.
16:35So you've got to change your name from Alex...
16:37Keep saying that.
16:38...to your new name is Hannah.
16:41It actually cost about £50 to change your name in the UK.
16:44You're paying £50?
16:45No, you're paying £50.
16:47I'm paying £50.
16:48Yeah.
16:49It says,
16:50I unquestionably surrender, abandon and relinquish the use of my former name of Alex Horne,
16:54and affirm, adopt and assume to take and use from this date hereof the name of Hannah,
16:57in the presence of Rose Ailing Ellis.
16:59That's you, isn't it?
17:00That I'm your witness.
17:02Pay up.
17:04Thank you very much.
17:06And here's your present.
17:07I got you a nice new sticker.
17:09I think it's so cool that when you split Hannah in half, it still have the same letter on both there.
17:17Um, Hannah, yeah.
17:19Yeah, isn't that cool, bro?
17:20That's really cool, yeah.
17:21Um, but in order to split you, I'm going to have to store you in half.
17:29Sorry?
17:30Yeah, I'm going to have to store you in half.
17:32Get my uniform off.
17:34So, if you put your arm up.
17:38Put my arm up?
17:39Yeah.
17:40I suppose so, yeah.
17:41Are you actually doing it?
17:42Right.
17:49You're doing great, sweetheart.
17:50Ooh!
17:51Are we done?
17:52There.
17:53I think I'm done.
17:54Right, then.
17:55Can I go?
17:56Yeah, yeah.
17:57Basically, you're splitting her name.
18:00Oh!
18:01Your legs are going.
18:02Oh, no.
18:03Legs!
18:04Nah!
18:05His name is Nah!
18:06Nah!
18:07Nah!
18:08Nah!
18:09Nah, come back!
18:10Your legs are going.
18:11How do you do that?
18:12That's not my plan.
18:13That was not my plan.
18:14It's good.
18:15I'll tell you why it's good.
18:16It's got both elements, hasn't it?
18:17It's got a bit of showbiz splitting, and it's got some nerdy splitting of the name as well.
18:33With the whole Nah thing, I was bored senseless.
18:36LAUGHTER
18:38If we go to the bottom, I don't know, even though I like the idea of getting words into the dictionary,
18:43I don't know how exciting it was watching you cut that ducky.
18:48LAUGHTER
18:49Were it not her birthday, that would be getting one point.
18:54Wow.
18:55Let's come back to it.
18:57LAUGHTER
18:58The least exciting performance was Jill's.
19:02Oh!
19:03It was a great idea, but I just thought, in performative terms, you've only got to look at the person who's up one from you, Zoo.
19:10Incredible performance.
19:11He split a pineapple, but I'm putting Sam above him, because Sam split something boring,
19:17and then he tried to destroy his parents' marriage.
19:20LAUGHTER
19:21Which makes it more exciting.
19:22And I'm going to give Rose five points.
19:24But it's Susie Dent's birthday.
19:25It's Susie Dent's birthday.
19:26LAUGHTER
19:27Are we going to play cards?
19:29We're playing cards.
19:30Yeah.
19:31What I love about this is I've already put Rose in first place.
19:38LAUGHTER
19:39And she's still playing the death card.
19:40No!
19:41LAUGHTER
19:42Does Susie's birthday make her duck more exciting than Jill's splits?
19:49I've always wondered...
19:50The answer is yes.
19:51It does.
19:52What?
19:53So Jill moves to last place.
19:55Aww.
19:56Because it's Susie Dent's birthday.
19:57Happy birthday.
19:58Just to summarise, because it's Susie Dent's birthday, Jill is being punished and losing a point.
20:03LAUGHTER
20:04And Susie Dent is getting an extra point.
20:05Yep!
20:06APPLAUSE
20:07Rose, where's the third point?
20:08APPLAUSE
20:09OK, shall we see a scoreboard, Alex, please?
20:14Yes.
20:15Well, first of all, I'll tell you how this episode is going.
20:17People like me at home will love the fact that it's four, five, six, seven, eight,
20:20with Sam on the top.
20:21He's got eight points.
20:22Well done, Sam.
20:23APPLAUSE
20:24Yeah.
20:25CHEERING
20:26I can tell you how the total of these two episodes is going.
20:29Please don't let Jill be one point off winning.
20:31LAUGHTER
20:32You've got bad news, I'm afraid, Greg.
20:35LAUGHTER
20:36That's a good season.
20:38Rose has 22 points and one point behind...
20:41LAUGHTER
20:43..is Jill is on...
20:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:46Jill's on 21, and Sam's on 21 as well.
20:49OK, I'm going to make this right, Jill.
20:51APPLAUSE
20:52OK.
20:53On we stride.
20:54What's next, Alex?
20:55Well, the first task was all about halves,
20:57and the next one is all about doubles,
20:59but we didn't realise that till just now,
21:00and that's because a lot of this show is good luck
21:02rather than good planning.
21:03LAUGHTER
21:16Ooh, we're back in the lab.
21:18Hi, Jill.
21:20OK.
21:21OK.
21:22All right.
21:23Ah.
21:24Pallets, paint, balls, paintbrushes.
21:29May I?
21:30Mm-hm.
21:31I thought they would be stress balls.
21:35Hold...
21:36..a number of yellow balls in your hand.
21:40You have one minute.
21:41Your time starts now.
21:43Like, hold a number of yellow balls in your hand.
21:46Hold as many as you can in your hand.
21:49How about that?
21:50That's interesting.
21:51I'm going with eight.
21:52OK.
21:53I'm going to go four.
21:54Four?
21:55Seven, eight, nine.
21:5618.
21:57You've gone 18?
21:58Yeah.
21:59There.
22:02Can you help me, please?
22:04What, do you want me to...?
22:05Can you stop dropping balls, please?
22:08LAUGHTER
22:09OK.
22:1012 balls.
22:12There is part two.
22:13OK.
22:14Do you want me to open it for you?
22:17Yeah.
22:18Paint two identical and flattering self-portraits.
22:22You have as many minutes as there are yellow balls in your hands,
22:26or until you drop a yellow ball.
22:29Or until you drop a yellow ball.
22:31We haven't started yet.
22:33There's nothing.
22:34I've got it.
22:35Also, you must paint on one canvas for no more than five seconds
22:40before painting on the other.
22:41OK, so it's a little switcheroo.
22:43Best pair of identical flattering self-portrait wins.
22:46Your time starts now.
22:47Thank you very much.
22:48Why did I decide this?
22:50APPLAUSE
22:57This is not my epic element.
22:58We've only known them for a short time, but they've come in
23:00and they've all got different approaches to seeing the task
23:03and assessing it.
23:04Sam comes in and he generally lists everything he can see.
23:07Big Sue walks in and laughs like a supervillain.
23:09And Susie, not to make you self-conscious,
23:11always responds in the same way.
23:13Whenever she sees every task, like she's just heard the pilot say,
23:17I'm afraid we've lost the second engine.
23:19LAUGHTER
23:22Are you ready for a montage of them all, Greg?
23:24My God, yes.
23:25Let's see them all, arting in the lab.
23:29Happy with your nine minutes?
23:30Yeah.
23:33Three, four, five.
23:36So the balls aren't hampering you too much?
23:38No.
23:39Good choice.
23:40You look like you know what you're doing.
23:42I went to art college.
23:43Oh, wow.
23:50Over you go.
23:52I mean, this is just going to be as basic as you get.
23:55Oh.
23:58I may have dropped a ball.
23:59Do I carry on?
24:00No, you dropped the ball.
24:01That's the end of the task.
24:03OK.
24:04Well, that was plain and simple.
24:07Stop!
24:09No, no, no.
24:14Three minutes.
24:16Shouldn't have done that.
24:17Oh, I shouldn't have done that.
24:18Look, she's got nice, strong arms.
24:20They're my arms, by the way.
24:21Before you make any jokes.
24:23I'm not being funny.
24:24I've seen some of the bullshit in the museums.
24:27And this is up there, I reckon.
24:28In the art museum?
24:29Yeah.
24:30Gonna give myself a little tan.
24:31Let's see if I can colour in all the places.
24:35It's going well.
24:41I'm not too dissatisfied with that.
24:43You have got 11 minutes left, but you don't have to use it all.
24:45Off the top of the drop.
24:51Oh, dear, Cece.
24:54Why did I think that I had to hold balls in each hand?
24:57I don't know.
24:58It's a question I've asked myself for a thousand times.
25:02You're watching the waiter after the break to pass judgment.
25:04However, I want to show you one thing that happened,
25:06which we didn't include in the montage because it was so serious.
25:09Have a look at this.
25:10Why did I decide this?
25:15I've stopped the clock.
25:20Yeah, so...
25:22This is what Big Zoo did before dropping the yellow ball.
25:30I wish it was my birthday!
25:32Oh, well.
25:33It's time to stop for some more adverts now.
25:37The January sales are on.
25:38Alex, have you got your eye on anything?
25:40Yeah, well, I thought I might have a look for...
25:42Get your teeth fixed!
25:44Oh!
25:45Oh!
25:46We'll be off the break.
25:54Hello!
25:56Welcome back to the third part of this New Year's treat final.
26:00Alex, I would love to see their self-portrait paintings, please.
26:03Yes, I think it's time.
26:04And remember the best pair of identical, flattering portraits that wins.
26:09First, here is Rose's poses.
26:13Have a look at this.
26:15Oh!
26:16They're good.
26:17Imagine if she hadn't dropped a ball.
26:19It was horrible to walk away knowing I could do it better!
26:23Sorry, I was almost certain you were going to play the deaf card again.
26:25No.
26:28I'm deaf.
26:30Oh, God.
26:32She doesn't have any eyes as well.
26:34Oh, look, she has...
26:36I know you!
26:38And I can't smell!
26:39No sense of smell!
26:42OK, let's have a look at another ball dropper.
26:46It's Susie's Muses.
26:47All right.
26:53I like it!
26:54Mine is chiseled.
26:55Mine's got a humble chin.
26:57So flattering!
26:58But they're not, you know, they're not too dissimilar.
27:00No.
27:01To be fair, Susie was going through problems in here.
27:05I want to see another one, please.
27:07Right, well, here are Jill Scott's blots.
27:11Oh!
27:12Thank you!
27:13They're awesome.
27:14Thank you!
27:16It is good!
27:17And they are pretty identical.
27:19Yeah.
27:20And look how rich he is!
27:22Yeah!
27:23Apparently one of their noses is.
27:24Yeah.
27:25LAUGHTER
27:27I do have hair fever.
27:30We're going to have a look at Sam's Mano and Mano now.
27:33Identical.
27:34Oh, that's good!
27:36That's good as well!
27:37Really good.
27:38I look like a baked bean in the middle.
27:40LAUGHTER
27:41I'm laughing at how we're seeing these are good.
27:44They're actually really shit.
27:46LAUGHTER
27:48I don't know.
27:49Yeah, maybe it's my low expectations, Jill.
27:53Well, we have already seen Zoo's attempt, but would you like to see what he did after?
27:57Yeah, but I have to say he dropped the ball, so we're taking the black canvases.
28:00Unfortunately, we have to, because of the rules.
28:02But what if this one is really, really good, Craig?
28:04OK.
28:05Give me a chance.
28:07LAUGHTER
28:10Why is he...
28:12LAUGHTER
28:13I'm mixed race.
28:14I'm mixed race.
28:15I'm mixed race.
28:16You didn't have like...
28:17You can't just keep saying I'm mixed race.
28:18I'm mixed race.
28:19Just like this.
28:20Yeah.
28:21Why did you paint your nose green?
28:23LAUGHTER
28:24I would argue that, regardless of dropping the ball,
28:27Zoo's is the worst anyway.
28:29LAUGHTER
28:31I can't argue with that.
28:33OK, well, here are all ten portraits.
28:35Unfortunately, Big Sue has to come last for more than one reason.
28:40And the next worst is obviously...
28:44LAUGHTER
28:45On her birthday.
28:46Right.
28:47Two for Zoo.
28:48I'm going to give Sam three points.
28:49Yeah.
28:50I have four points.
28:51And you know why?
28:52I think they're about the same level.
28:53Yeah.
28:54But I just really like muscles, so I'm giving you an...
28:56LAUGHTER
28:57I'm giving you an extra point, Jim.
28:58LAUGHTER
28:59LAUGHTER
29:00But I think the best piece of art, and the most flattering,
29:03I genuinely think it's Rosie's.
29:05APPLAUSE
29:10All right.
29:11I'm afraid it's already time for the last of their pre-recorded tasks.
29:15Will you be sad to see them go, Alex?
29:17I'm going to say no.
29:18LAUGHTER
29:19Because we're playing the opposites game.
29:21Oh!
29:22Ooh!
29:23What?
29:24MUSIC
29:25MUSIC
29:26MUSIC
29:31MUSIC
29:35All right.
29:36Meat and grape.
29:37I hope not mine.
29:38What on earth is going on here?
29:41It's a scroll.
29:42Hmm.
29:43Oh, I thought it was a rolling pin.
29:44OK.
29:45Ah, OK.
29:46It's like national treasure, where you have to...
29:49National trust?
29:51LAUGHTER
29:52I just spat grape all...
29:55LAUGHTER
29:56That's an actual insane amount of grape.
29:59Complete the most instructions in the order they are presented.
30:04You have five minutes.
30:06Your time starts when you open the instructions scroll.
30:11Yeah.
30:12We've started.
30:13We've started?
30:14All about speed.
30:15Yeah, your time's starting now.
30:16Oh, no!
30:17APPLAUSE
30:18I think this is one of those classical, we just need to crack on and have a look at it.
30:23OK.
30:24Let's see how Rose, Sam and Susie got on first.
30:27Shut your eyes and open your mouth.
30:28One.
30:29Talk an eye voice for five seconds and keep going like this.
30:33Oh, no!
30:34My name is Rose.
30:35Wish brother alphabet backward.
30:37Z.
30:38Y.
30:39X.
30:40Put a cold thing on the big plate.
30:45That cold ice lolly.
30:46Yeah, lovely.
30:47My hand is actually really cold.
30:50I mean, the grape I ate was pretty cold.
30:52It was chilled.
30:53So that was all part of the plan.
30:55Tell a lie about your shower head.
30:57I was the most popular person in the entire school.
31:00I was never bullied.
31:01I...
31:02were living in Jamaica.
31:04Turn the wetsuit inside out.
31:06Where's that?
31:07That is inside out.
31:10Spin twice anti-clockwise.
31:12Throw a sock at Alex.
31:15Oh, right in the face.
31:17Not down the tower.
31:18I fucking hate jigsaws.
31:22Done.
31:27It's not a big jigsaw.
31:30It's not a big jigsaw, but it's quite a confusing jigsaw.
31:33Who does these for fun?
31:35I can move on to the next one.
31:37Well, you might have to.
31:38Oh, OK, fine.
31:39Put a ball in a bottle.
31:46Done.
31:47OK, 45 seconds.
31:49This is.
31:50You need the balloon now, didn't you?
31:51Inflate the balloon.
31:52Shake your head.
31:54Blow it out.
31:56Clean the bowl.
31:57Oh, bloody hell, I'm not licking that.
31:59I'm doing it.
32:03No, clean.
32:04Send a text a bit on my phone with me.
32:07Mum, Dad's not cheating on you.
32:09Love you.
32:10Try and not.
32:12And not.
32:14If you ever...
32:16Bastard.
32:18Um, hook up.
32:19Duck.
32:20Duck.
32:21Duck.
32:22Duck.
32:23And sit.
32:25OK.
32:26Sit.
32:28Take this away.
32:30Yeah.
32:31Would you mind reading that one as well?
32:33OK.
32:34Part two.
32:37Do the opposite of those instructions in the opposite order.
32:40You have five minutes.
32:41Nice interaction.
32:42Complete.
32:43Backward.
32:44Win.
32:45You have five minutes.
32:46All of things.
32:47How do I know what I've done?
32:48Well, you've got to remember them.
32:49Really?
32:50Probably.
32:51APPLAUSE
32:53That was so annoying.
32:57I just love it when people could miss.
32:59I've ripped it down.
33:00Sam says, I fucking hate jigsaws.
33:03That's what I was thinking.
33:04They're your kryptonite.
33:05I could not get your eye to fit on your cheek.
33:08So, the whole point of this task is the second half.
33:11Do the opposite of those instructions in the opposite order.
33:13The first half was not relevant, really.
33:15This is what's important.
33:16It's time for part two.
33:19Stand up.
33:20Stand.
33:21How do you do the opposite of ducking?
33:25Jump.
33:26Good.
33:27Um, look up, but look down.
33:28Good.
33:29Tied it not in here.
33:32Delete for everyone.
33:34Do the dirty bowl.
33:35Ha, ha, ha!
33:36I didn't clean it.
33:37Ha, ha, ha!
33:38I didn't clean it!
33:39Ha, ha, ha!
33:40I didn't clean it!
33:41Ha, ha, ha!
33:42I didn't clean it!
33:43Ha, ha, ha!
33:44I've really...
33:45I haven't got time for this.
33:46But I've done the dice.
33:47That's a swear cube.
33:48Opposite of a ducking.
33:49I'll take it.
33:50I'll take it.
33:51Fucking sick.
33:52Blow the balloon up.
33:53Well, that wasn't the order, was it?
33:54Do the chitcho.
33:55It's quite easy to do the opposite of these because I didn't do those in the first place.
33:58And then build the tower.
33:59Oh, I remembered.
34:00Is it part of here?
34:01Is it just me?
34:02My stock?
34:03Can I have my stock back there?
34:04You want me to throw your stock at you?
34:05No, I get it from you.
34:06Was it then building the tower up?
34:07Sure.
34:08And then I tell you the truth about my childhood.
34:09I was bullying in school.
34:10I grew up in a tent.
34:11A hot hand.
34:12Not touching the place.
34:13Not touching the place.
34:14I didn't do those in the first place.
34:15I didn't do those in the first place.
34:16And then build the tower.
34:17Oh, I remembered.
34:18Is it part of here?
34:19Is it just me?
34:20My stock?
34:21Can I have my stock back there?
34:22You want me to throw your stock at you?
34:23No, I get it from you.
34:24Was it then building the tower up?
34:25Sure.
34:26And then I tell you the truth about my childhood.
34:29I was bullying in school.
34:31I grew up in a tent.
34:34Hot hand.
34:35Not touching the place.
34:36Well, your hand's hotter than now.
34:37Yeah, really hot.
34:38Because it is hotter now, as I just said.
34:39OK.
34:40Next was A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, and B.
34:44Yet.
34:45Two more.
34:46Speak in a low voice.
34:47How do you do the opposite?
34:48Speak in a low voice for five, four, three, two, one.
34:51Ten seconds.
34:52Hello, my name is Rose.
34:57Have it anyway.
34:59And then the one, don't blink my eye.
35:04Cough.
35:05Whistle.
35:06You did it.
35:07You shut your mouth.
35:08Oh, did I?
35:09How do you think you did?
35:10Really badly.
35:11Really badly.
35:12Yeah.
35:13Got to keep your wits about you on this game, ain't ya?
35:15You always do, yeah.
35:16Yeah.
35:21I mean, really, my big observation is I can't believe how well they did it.
35:24I mean, Susie didn't do well.
35:25She was right.
35:26Yeah.
35:27I didn't.
35:28But you did do nine out of the 20, which is not terrible.
35:31It is the angriest we've seen Susie so far.
35:33I even wrote it down, she went,
35:35Yes, because it's hot in here, as I just said.
35:40Sam did 13 of the things in the right order, opposite way round,
35:45and rose 15, which was far more than we expected.
35:49As long as you're accepting that putting a cube in a bottle
35:52is the opposite of putting a ball in a bottle.
35:54The only reason I'm allowing it is because I so enjoyed this.
35:57Ha-ha-ha!
35:58I didn't clean it!
36:00I'm so happy!
36:03Just one part left of our New Year's treat.
36:06Someone will win Susie Dent's golden toilet seat,
36:09and someone will win my golden eyebrows.
36:12It all ties together for Christmas.
36:14I gave Alex a golden shower.
36:17A little stingy.
36:19It was stingy.
36:20I don't drink enough water.
36:22See you soon for the grand finale!
36:25APPLAUSE
36:34Hello!
36:35Welcome back to the final part of the show,
36:38where our New Year treat is coming to an end,
36:41just as the New Year is beginning.
36:43I know, and it's going to be a big year for me.
36:44I'm going to do 20 press-ups every other day.
36:46I'm going to phone my parents on the days in between the press-up days,
36:49and maybe I'll join some sort of hobby club.
36:52And finally, in the opposite cast,
36:54it's Scott, Jill and Zoo Big.
36:57Hello, my name is Jill!
37:01My name is Betsy!
37:03It's fucking cold, what's cold?
37:06That's cold.
37:07OK.
37:08I was really good at swimming.
37:09Why did I put my hand in the sticky stuff?
37:12Why is it so difficult?
37:15Two minutes left.
37:16You can just play your games.
37:17This is what you do.
37:18Right, it's just going to Lloyd's bank.
37:22Hey.
37:23You texted the bank?
37:24Why did you text the bank?
37:25I don't know.
37:26Right, I'm tired of not.
37:27Look up.
37:28Go up.
37:29Sit.
37:32Five seconds left, Zoo.
37:33I'm coming!
37:34Good.
37:35You got me living like a housewife.
37:37You're abusive, man.
37:40I even dried it.
37:42That's your time up.
37:43No!
37:44Are you ready for part two?
37:45Part two?
37:46Yes, please.
37:47Second scroll for you, sir.
37:49I didn't even tell you about a double scroll.
37:51Do the opposite of those instructions in the opposite order.
37:54Is it here?
37:55Oh.
37:58I was going to say, like...
37:59Oh, what is that?
38:01You've got to keep your wits about you on this game, ain't you?
38:03You always do, yeah.
38:04Yeah.
38:07Sit down.
38:08Look down.
38:09All right, do the opposite.
38:11Right.
38:12Sit.
38:13Duck.
38:14Look up.
38:15Do the opposite.
38:16Do the opposite.
38:17Do the opposite.
38:18Do the opposite.
38:19Send a text.
38:20Don't send a text.
38:21Receive a text.
38:22Can you text me?
38:23Sure.
38:24Send a text.
38:25Go into the bank again.
38:26How do you start here again?
38:27It's already clean.
38:28Why am I cleaning it twice?
38:30That's a good question, Jill.
38:31Yeah.
38:32Three and a half minutes, Jill.
38:33Oh, good.
38:34Isn't it mad how your brain works?
38:36Mm.
38:37Complete the jigsaw.
38:38Complete the jigsaw.
38:39Complete the jigsaw.
38:40Complete the jigsaw.
38:41Complete the jigsaw.
38:42It's already complete.
38:43That's weird.
38:44That's a tower, is it?
38:45That's a tower.
38:46Okay, okay.
38:47Come on, Jill.
38:48Tell a lie about your childhood.
38:49I learnt to ride a bike at six.
38:50Tell a lie about your childhood.
38:51I learnt to ride a bike at six.
38:52Tell a lie about your childhood.
38:53I learnt to ride a bike at six.
38:54Tell a lie about your childhood.
38:55Tell a lie about your childhood.
38:56I learnt to ride a bike at six.
38:57Tell a truth.
38:58Oh, I'm really enjoying instant noodles.
39:01Yo, my name is Big Siu, and I am your father, or your uncle, depends.
39:05Shut your eyes and open your mouth.
39:06Oh, my God.
39:07Show your eyes and open your mouth.
39:08Oh, my God.
39:09Show your eyes and open your mouth.
39:10Oh, my God.
39:11I think I've got an emergency call from the bank.
39:12Can I just take this?
39:13Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:14I think they think I'm in trouble.
39:15Okay.
39:16I haven't been in the bank, so I've been in the emergency, isn't it?
39:17Yeah.
39:18I mean, he says something, Jill.
39:19When I watch something as catastrophic as that, the only thing I've written is that the
39:32who the hell texts their bank?
39:35I don't feel so bad about the whole birthday point, though.
39:38Oh, no, I need that back now.
39:39Please.
39:40No, you've got it back for that shit-painter.
39:42The zoo absolutely knocked it out of the park, didn't he?
39:45So, he did all but one on the second time round, so...
39:47Wow, that's right.
39:48Yeah, guys.
39:49How are you?
39:50How are you?
39:51I'm waiting.
39:52Jill gets one point.
39:53I'm waiting.
39:54I'm waiting.
39:55I'm waiting.
39:56I'm waiting.
39:57I'm waiting.
39:58I'm waiting.
39:59I'm waiting.
40:00I'm waiting.
40:01Jill gets one point.
40:022 to 2.
40:033 for Sam.
40:044 for Rose.
40:05But finally, Big Zoo gets 5 points.
40:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:08I'm waiting.
40:09You know how much it means to me.
40:11All right, everyone.
40:13Just one more thing to do.
40:15So, please, make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!
40:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:24Hello, you lovely boy.
40:26Well, hello, you lovely man.
40:27Who will be reading the task?
40:29Well, there's a lot of words, so there's only one person who knows words,
40:32and that's Susie Dent, to read out all these words.
40:34OK.
40:35Take it away, Susie Dent.
40:37Win the shoe games.
40:39Wow.
40:40She just knows every word.
40:41Bring the shoe down.
40:43There's going to be four shoe games.
40:44We're going to lose a player each time.
40:46Round one.
40:47Hold a size 11 left shoe above your head.
40:52You may only pick out one shoe at a time,
40:55and you must replace the shoe before picking another.
40:58Last player is eliminated.
41:00Let's play shoe games.
41:02WHISTLE BLOWS
41:03And off they go.
41:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:05You must replace it.
41:06Please put the shoe back in, Jill.
41:07Put the shoe back in, Jill.
41:08Thank you, my lord.
41:09You've got to put the shoe back in.
41:10What?
41:11Oh.
41:12Oh, my word.
41:13Jill is really struggling with the sack.
41:14I'm sorry.
41:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:16Oh, we've lost Rose Ailey Gillis.
41:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:19Are you ready for the second one?
41:34Yes.
41:35Remove the shoelace from your shoe and hold it above your head.
41:37Last player is eliminated.
41:38WHISTLE BLOWS
41:39Oh!
41:40I'm glad I'm out of this.
41:41More haste, less speed, surely.
41:43Oh, Zu, if you lose this.
41:45Oh, Zu.
41:47We have Jill.
41:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:50We have...
41:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:54Oh, this is the worst shoe ever.
41:58I love games.
42:00He loves the shoe games.
42:02We've lost Sam Raider.
42:03I can't live it.
42:05Are you ready for more high-octane?
42:07I cannot put into words how ready I am.
42:09It's shoe games round three.
42:12Let's dance.
42:13For this one, you must stay on the spot at all times.
42:15Please don't do anything till I blow the whistle.
42:18Throw a sock onto your shoe.
42:21No part of the sock can be touching the ground.
42:24It could be in it,
42:25but if any part of the sock is touching the ground,
42:27it won't count.
42:28It'll be the final after this.
42:29Last player is eliminated.
42:31Sock and a shoe.
42:32Oh, my word.
42:33Oh!
42:34Oh.
42:35Oh.
42:36Just touching the floor.
42:37Bamba clap.
42:38Oh.
42:39Oh, come on.
42:40I can't say Bamba clap.
42:41No, you're on your spot.
42:42They don't know where...
42:43Oh!
42:44Oh!
42:45No, no, no.
42:46You lot are cheating.
42:47That is good.
42:48You lot are cheating.
42:49You lot are cheating.
42:50You lot are cheating.
42:51Jill's safe.
42:52You lot are cheating.
42:53Oh!
42:54No!
42:55Come on, come on.
42:56Come on, come on.
42:57Come on.
42:58Come on, sir.
42:59Come on, sir.
43:00Come on, sir.
43:01Yes.
43:02Oh, that's all.
43:03Well done.
43:04Keep going.
43:05No.
43:06Oh, God.
43:07The game hasn't sustained excitement.
43:11Wrong.
43:12Wrong.
43:13Wrong.
43:14Wrong now.
43:15Socks.
43:16No!
43:17It's only...
43:18It's not touching the floor.
43:19It's touching shoe and another sock.
43:21We've lost Susie Den.
43:22We've lost Susie Den.
43:23We've lost Susie Den.
43:25We've finally made it.
43:28It's the final of shoe games.
43:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:33So this time, flick your shoe into the bucket.
43:40And by flick, we mean the shoe has to be on your foot.
43:43You must flick it.
43:44Well, that's not a fish!
43:45No!
43:46What are you doing?
43:47No!
43:48No!
43:49No, wait there.
43:50Playing football, I'll put a size 11 shoe on my foot
43:52and flick it into a bucket.
43:53Oh, come on, ball.
43:54Same thing.
43:55This one's more like golf.
43:56You will flick, and then you will flick.
43:58First to flick, it's Big Zoo.
44:00Good luck, whatever.
44:01I'm thinking the wind's going a bit that way.
44:05And line it there.
44:06Nah, come on, I'm left-footed, Bob.
44:08Up, up!
44:09Oh!
44:10Lucky enough!
44:11Fuck!
44:16Oh!
44:18Big Zoo, you may approach your shoe.
44:20You must flick it from that position.
44:23I mean, you can pick it up and put it on your foot,
44:25but you do have to flick it from there, no closer to the bucket.
44:27So I can put it on my foot, yeah?
44:28Yeah.
44:29Where it fell.
44:30It was there.
44:31Yes.
44:32Oh, you just took a step forward.
44:34Back an inch, please.
44:36WHISTLE BLOWS
44:37Yeah.
44:38Oh!
44:39Right.
44:44Oh!
44:45No, Big Zoo, Big Zoo!
44:46Back to your spot.
44:47On the spot, please.
44:48Just a flick.
44:49Just a flick.
44:50Just a flick.
44:51Just a flick.
44:52Just a flick.
44:53Just a flick.
44:54Just a flick.
44:55This is a lift-off.
44:56We have a winner!
44:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:01Right.
45:02We will add those to your final scores.
45:04Come down and join me!
45:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:07Wow, Jill, that was amazing.
45:12And it means you have, excitingly, joined Sam on 16 points.
45:17APPLAUSE
45:18Which means...
45:19Yeah.
45:20It's exciting.
45:21It means they've come joint second.
45:23LAUGHTER
45:25One behind today's winner, with 17 points, it is...
45:28...Rose Aileen Ellis!
45:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:32Rose wins the episode.
45:34Please head up to hire your exotic prizes!
45:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:42My love!
45:46Let's find out who has won the first ever double treat.
45:51OK, then, Greg.
45:52Well, in fifth place, she has done very well, despite what she thinks
45:56and despite what the position says.
45:58LAUGHTER
45:59With 25 points, it's Susie Den!
46:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:04Happy birthday, last place!
46:06But she's only one point behind someone who thought he was going to win
46:11throughout, it's Big Zoo!
46:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:15In first place, he's got the energy of a big dog,
46:18it's Sam Ryder with 29 points!
46:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:24There's only one point in it.
46:26There's 31 points.
46:27LAUGHTER
46:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:30I've put that right.
46:31One of our nation's greatest sports people, it's Jill Stobbs!
46:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:38OK, the winner got a total of 32 points across two episodes, Greg.
46:42The winner of the first ever double New Year's treat...
46:46...It's Ralph!
46:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:54Congratulations!
46:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:15MUSIC
47:18AND APPLAUSE
47:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:24You
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