- 6 days ago
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
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00:03:59Listen to me, you little bitch.
00:04:01If you want to keep getting that money every month from your mother,
00:04:04which is my money,
00:04:06you're gonna have to work out a little arrangement. Understood?
00:04:09I'm curious what my mother would think about that, you pathetic perv.
00:04:13Do you think your mother's gonna believe an anti-depressant, pill-popping junkie
00:04:18who sits around all day enjoying broken hearts
00:04:20and fucking her geriatric ex-com boyfriend?
00:04:23He's only 40 and he was in prison a long time ago.
00:04:25He is ancient.
00:04:26You're disgusting.
00:04:27You know, I think it's disgusting.
00:04:29I think fucking a card-carrying member of ARP falls into that category.
00:04:32He's not a member of ARP.
00:04:35What's ARP?
00:04:36I think your mother's gonna believe her distinguished,
00:04:38well-educated, multi-millionaire boyfriend.
00:04:42Your poor father is probably rolling around in his grave right now.
00:04:45Don't you fucking dare talk about my father!
00:04:48The man is dead three years. Get over it!
00:04:52Lindsay, what the hell's going on?
00:04:54Honey, I just asked her to put on some clothes and just wanted to know when she was coming home.
00:04:58He's lying, Mom. He's a fucking liar. He came in here-
00:05:00We need to talk to her doctor and see if you get upper dosage. These outputs have to stop.
00:05:04Wait, Mom! No, okay? He came in here staring at me all weird. He was talking about Dad again.
00:05:09Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay.
00:05:10When we get back from the Keys, let's take a ride to the doctor and see if he can give you something stronger than Prozac.
00:05:15It's him, Mom. It's not me.
00:05:19Sweetheart, I know it's been tough since your father's been gone and I'm not trying to replace him.
00:05:24Just get the fuck out! God!
00:05:27Okay.
00:05:28Go, Mom.
00:05:29Hello, ma'am.
00:05:53Sorry, we don't want any.
00:05:55I'm not here to sell anything but the gift of God.
00:05:58The gift of God?
00:06:00You are a sinner.
00:06:02Well, my asshole stepfather and mother sure think so.
00:06:05Well, look, I was a sinner and it wasn't until I met Simon that God came down and laid his hands upon me and well now, now I see the light.
00:06:18He is the truth, you know.
00:06:20Look, my family's Jewish.
00:06:22What the fuck does that have to do with anything?
00:06:25Simon!
00:06:26So was Jesus Christ.
00:06:28He was the king of Jews and he was also a sinner.
00:06:31How about we leave you with something to read?
00:06:34What, the Bible?
00:06:35No, ma'am.
00:06:37Just some scripture I think you'll enjoy.
00:06:39Speaking of enjoyment, have you ever seen Jesus Christ Superstar?
00:06:44It's the movie, not the play.
00:06:47Can't say it's on my Netflix watch list.
00:06:49No.
00:06:50Well, I mean, it is a musical about Jesus, Jesus.
00:06:53Sounds very entertaining, okay?
00:06:55I'm making a mental note right now, okay?
00:06:57Got it.
00:06:58Oh, great!
00:06:59Great!
00:07:00Well, what we'll do is check back with you and, well, I mean, maybe we can come over and watch it together sometime.
00:07:07Look, if I promise to read your stupid scripture and watch your Jesus Christ Popstar thing, will you please promise to leave me alone?
00:07:14Well, I'll promise to come and check in on you, that's for sure.
00:07:17No, no, that's okay.
00:07:18Goodbye, thank you.
00:07:19You might be lonely.
00:07:20I don't mind being your spiritual, like, bestie.
00:07:23Come on!
00:07:37I'm happy.
00:07:38Listen.
00:07:39Bye.
00:07:40Bye.
00:07:42Bye.
00:07:43Bye.
00:07:44Hey, thank you.
00:07:45Go home, B.
00:07:46I miss you buddy. Oh, you made me. I'm gonna buy you my one and only yeah, I'm a fine make you mine
00:08:16Oh
00:08:41You know
00:08:46Oh
00:09:16Oh
00:09:31Hey, baby, I just thought the party without
00:09:34You're amazing no you are damn you make me feel alive
00:09:55Can I ask you a question without you getting mad?
00:09:57Oh god, what is it now?
00:10:02If I'm so amazing, then why did you cheat on me?
00:10:05Oh my god, babe, that was months ago and I didn't cheat on you
00:10:09Really? Then what do you call sticking your face between a pair of gigantic tits then?
00:10:14A momentary lapse in judgment. Anyway, I was at a strip club. What does that even mean?
00:10:19Well, when in Rome, you know?
00:10:23Anyway, I was coerced
00:10:25Coerced
00:10:26You do know what that word means, right?
00:10:29Oh, I know what it means
00:10:30Okay, fine. Who was it then? Who coerced you?
00:10:35A guy named Jack
00:10:38Daniels
00:10:39God, you're such a fucking asshole
00:10:41I'm gonna take a shower
00:10:44All right, but hurry up. We got people coming over in an hour
00:10:48Shit
00:10:49Oh, don't tell me you forgot about the party
00:10:52I know I guess it was just the gin
00:10:56No, give me a break. Every time there's a problem you either hit the bottle or you're popping pills. What is it this time?
00:11:01Look, I don't want to talk about it, okay?
00:11:11You know communication goes a long way in a relationship. You may want to try it sometime
00:11:41Where are you looking at this?
00:11:48What?
00:11:50Were you looking through my sketch pad?
00:11:53Sorry, I didn't know it was off limits. It's not like it's a diary or something
00:11:57And it's with all the broken hearts and the fuck love crap. What do you have against love anyway?
00:12:04I thought we were in love. I did too
00:12:08But what?
00:12:11Love is an antiquated emotion
00:12:16Look around you
00:12:17One minute a couple's in love posting all over social media and the next they're bashing each other and breaking up
00:12:23In today's world saying I love you is like saying hello goodbye
00:12:27It doesn't mean anything
00:12:29Well, that's because social media sucks and it makes people feel numb
00:12:34Your generation you guys don't know how to deal with everyday emotion
00:12:38Personally, I could do without
00:12:39Oh, and love still means something to me by the way
00:12:46Really?
00:12:47Of course
00:12:48But you've been married twice before
00:12:50So?
00:12:52So didn't you ever tell one of them that you love them?
00:12:55Well, yeah, I did of course, but you know
00:12:58But what? You didn't mean it?
00:12:59You are the only girl that I love
00:13:11You don't understand how it seems to me though, right?
00:13:13You don't trust anybody that's the problem
00:13:17People earn trust and when they violate it, it takes time to get it back
00:13:23Lindsay
00:13:25You are the only girl that I love
00:13:32Okay
00:13:32So what does love mean to you?
00:13:38You're gonna ask me the meaning of love?
00:13:42No
00:13:43I'm asking you
00:13:45Your meaning of love
00:13:48I don't know
00:13:50It's this feeling you get, you know
00:13:52When you love somebody, you just know
00:13:55That's it?
00:13:57That's your answer?
00:13:58Well, yeah
00:14:00That fucking sucked
00:14:03What's wrong with you?
00:14:04You just proved my point that love's a joke
00:14:08Babe, listen
00:14:09I am not going to cheat on you
00:14:13I am 40 years old
00:14:14You're gonna lecture me on love?
00:14:16What was the last relationship you had before us?
00:14:18Six months?
00:14:20That doesn't mean that statistics are wrong
00:14:2250% of all marriages end in divorce
00:14:24Do you know why?
00:14:27Infidelity
00:14:29Okay
00:14:31So I'm preparing myself for the inevitable
00:14:34What a miserable outlook
00:14:37Babe, I am not going to cheat on you
00:14:42I'm just being realistic
00:14:43And there are lots of ways to cheat, okay?
00:14:45Not just physical
00:14:48So what does love mean to you?
00:14:54It's pretty simple
00:14:57Love comes down to two things
00:15:01Okay?
00:15:03Discipline and loyalty
00:15:07If you truly love someone
00:15:08You'll have the discipline to fight off
00:15:10any desires that come your way
00:15:13Having the loyalty to do that
00:15:15And stick with the one person that you're invested in
00:15:18That is what it's all about
00:15:25Babe
00:15:26I'll be honest
00:15:28Somebody with minimal relationship experience
00:15:31You do have a solid point
00:15:33The thing is
00:15:35When you're dealing with human emotion
00:15:37It's really not that cut and dry
00:15:42It is for me
00:15:48Listen
00:15:48I love you
00:15:52Can you grasp that concept?
00:15:58There's something I need to know
00:16:02Okay, shoot
00:16:02Would you die for me?
00:16:09Would you die for me?
00:16:12Yes
00:16:14Good
00:16:16Because I feel the same way
00:16:17But here's the real question
00:16:24What is it?
00:16:28Would you kill for me?
00:16:31Yeah, it would kill for you
00:16:32Well, we go camping
00:16:34A bear comes charging out of the woods
00:16:36You know I'm gonna put two bullets in that thing's head
00:16:37I got you, babe
00:16:38Hunter, no
00:16:41Would you kill another human being for me?
00:16:43Are you seriously asking me that question?
00:16:50I want us to kill someone at the party tonight
00:16:54So let me get this straight
00:16:55You want me to kill someone to prove my love to you
00:16:59Have you gone completely back shit crazy?
00:17:03This girl is fucking crazy man
00:17:06Fucking dealing with this bullshit all the time
00:17:08Man, she wants to fucking kill somebody
00:17:10My life's a fucking mess right now
00:17:16Fucking bullshit man
00:17:19Stupid fucking bullshit
00:17:21Every day, something new
00:17:28I can't kill anyone
00:17:33All right, you know what
00:17:35I'm gonna close my eyes
00:17:38spin around
00:17:38If I finally hit a fucking bullseye
00:17:41After doing that
00:17:43I'm in
00:17:44If not
00:17:45I am out
00:17:46I'm gonna close my eyes
00:18:02Oh, you gotta be kidding me
00:18:03I never get a bullseye
00:18:05Now I get a bullseye?
00:18:06That's fucking bullshit man
00:18:08Hey
00:18:14Wow, well you finally got a bullseye
00:18:18Yeah, finally got a bullseye
00:18:20I'm tired of the good times
00:18:23And life dragging me down
00:18:25I need to pick me up
00:18:27Yeah, to get me up
00:18:28Get me back on the ground
00:18:30Oh, I miss the nights
00:18:31I do it
00:18:32Don't sit out on the town
00:18:34With my high school friends
00:18:35Dad, this is Lindsey
00:18:37And her boyfriend Hunter
00:18:39It's their party
00:18:40Figured I should introduce you guys
00:18:41Especially because you and Hunter are about the same age
00:18:43Well, all right, all right, all right
00:18:47Nice to meet you
00:18:50It's a pleasure
00:18:51You look so familiar
00:18:55Did you go to the Publix on Ancient Boulevard?
00:18:57No, my assistant does all my shopping for me
00:19:04Whole foods
00:19:05Plant-based, most of it
00:19:07Gotta keep this body looking fresh
00:19:10Wow, assistant
00:19:11Must be nice
00:19:13Oh, I need my world
00:19:14It's all about appearances
00:19:17You're a very interesting man
00:19:19Well, all right, all right, all right
00:19:22One more wild turkey before I hit the road in my Lincoln
00:19:24And peace out of here
00:19:27Dad, you have a Volkswagen?
00:19:31Anyway, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, young lady
00:19:36Thank you kindly for your hospitality
00:19:40God, he is so smooth
00:19:42Smooth, he clearly has psychological problems
00:19:45It's the MS
00:19:47Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know
00:19:48My uncle's got MS
00:19:50No way, your uncle thinks he's Matthew McConaughey?
00:19:53Matthew McConaughey, the hell are you talking about?
00:19:54My uncle's got multiple sclerosis
00:19:57Oh, my dad has the other MS
00:20:00There's another MS?
00:20:02McConaughey syndrome
00:20:04It's when someone thinks they're Matthew McConaughey
00:20:06It's very popular in Texas
00:20:09Well, certain parts
00:20:11Jeremy, go away
00:20:12But
00:20:13Go
00:20:13Surrounded by nutjobs
00:20:23Yess
00:20:36They're so loving it
00:20:37Oh, tell me
00:20:40Yeah
00:20:41So
00:20:48So
00:20:49Oh my god, look at those things.
00:21:01You're an asshole.
00:21:03Where the hell are you going?
00:21:19What the fuck?
00:21:27Is that what you want?
00:21:29You want her?
00:21:32Well, you can have her in her big fucking tits.
00:21:36Because Lindsay doesn't need anyone.
00:21:39Not you, not you, and not you.
00:21:49No one.
00:22:00Sorry, are you okay?
00:22:04I'm better than okay.
00:22:06I'm Lindsay.
00:22:19Babe, I was just going to tell you.
00:22:37If you ever disrespect me like that again,
00:22:42I will take a knife and I will cut my little testicles off.
00:22:58Why would you say that?
00:23:01Because I'll do it.
00:23:04No, I mean, why would you say little?
00:23:09Okay, okay.
00:23:11You guys, quiet, quiet.
00:23:13I have a toast.
00:23:15Here's to testing negative.
00:23:17Staying positive.
00:23:21Burying my face in this big, beautiful, bodacious ta-ta's room.
00:23:28Whoa!
00:23:32I declare today National Ta-Ta Day.
00:23:36Salute!
00:23:37She is so desperate.
00:23:42What makes you say that?
00:23:59Look at her.
00:24:02God, I've never seen anyone who has to be in a relationship so badly.
00:24:14You know, she just broke up with her boyfriend yesterday.
00:24:17Maybe she gets lonely.
00:24:18A lot of people like to be in a relationship.
00:24:21I just feel bad for her.
00:24:23Trevor's a douche.
00:24:25The kid just likes to have fun.
00:24:26No, he's a douche.
00:24:31Yeah, he is.
00:24:32All right, the Jew crew made it.
00:24:42I thought you Yentas weren't coming.
00:24:44We're the fucking strippers and the blow.
00:24:46What?
00:24:47Would you guys lie about that too?
00:24:50Well, is there at least some fucking spinach dip?
00:24:52What's wrong with him?
00:24:54You know how hard it is to get that bastard out of his office?
00:24:57We had to tell him the Beastie Boys are playing.
00:24:59The Beastie Boys?
00:25:00Hold on, so we told him he has some poker strippers.
00:25:03And he liked that better.
00:25:05He's such a degenerate.
00:25:07Well, how's life in the criminal defense world?
00:25:09You win some, you lose some.
00:25:11We want to be criminal prosecutors.
00:25:13Prosecutors?
00:25:13What the hell for?
00:25:15Just prosecutors who are 98% of the cases.
00:25:18Yeah, but they don't make their cash.
00:25:19You guys don't.
00:25:19Yeah, but we lost the last 32 cases we had.
00:25:22Not easy to get good clients.
00:25:25Damn.
00:25:26Well, go get yourself a drink.
00:25:27I'm sure everything's going to work out, bro.
00:25:29You know where everything's at.
00:25:37This is fucking good.
00:25:39Fucking good, bro.
00:25:42Holy shit.
00:25:43This is fucking different.
00:25:44This is fucking unbelievable.
00:25:46Fuck.
00:25:49Fuck yeah.
00:25:53What the fuck are they doing?
00:25:56Get your own fucking dick.
00:25:58Fucking motherfucker.
00:26:03This is fucking good.
00:26:10Fucking amazing.
00:26:13What?
00:26:15I love you.
00:26:16Shit.
00:26:16I love you.
00:26:18I love you.
00:26:18I love you.
00:26:19I love you.
00:26:20I love you.
00:26:21I love you.
00:26:22I love you.
00:26:22I love you.
00:26:22I love you.
00:26:22I love you.
00:26:22I love you.
00:26:23I love you.
00:26:23I love you.
00:26:24I love you.
00:26:24I love you.
00:26:24I love you.
00:26:24I love you.
00:26:24I love you.
00:26:25I love you.
00:26:25I love you.
00:26:25I love you.
00:26:26I love you.
00:26:26I love you.
00:26:26I love you.
00:26:26I love you.
00:26:27I love you.
00:26:27I love you.
00:26:27I love you.
00:26:28I love you.
00:26:28I love you.
00:26:29I love you.
00:26:30I love you.
00:26:30I love you.
00:26:31I love you.
00:26:31I love you.
00:26:32I love you.
00:26:33I love you.
00:26:46They call me Manny.
00:27:00That is the craziest shit I have ever seen.
00:27:07Manny used to be the quarterback in high school.
00:27:09He'd fall asleep right before throwing with a touchdown.
00:27:12People would go nuts.
00:27:13When was the last time you'd seen him?
00:27:16Years.
00:27:17We don't always get along.
00:27:21Look at that.
00:27:22The kids still got it.
00:27:25So how are you guys brothers again?
00:27:28Half brothers, but I got the good half.
00:27:30Same dad, different mom.
00:27:31And you're the same age?
00:27:33Actually, I'm a year older.
00:27:36Why do you look so shocked?
00:27:37I just...
00:27:38Just what?
00:27:39He just looks so much younger.
00:27:42Because I exfoliate sometimes twice a day.
00:27:44Have you tried your capture?
00:27:46It's so expensive but so worth it.
00:27:48Definitely.
00:27:49What?
00:27:50I don't see anything.
00:27:51Exactly.
00:27:52No wrinkles.
00:27:53My mom gave me that smooth Cuban skin.
00:27:57Maybe you shouldn't kill him.
00:28:12You know, a Bigfoot.
00:28:14Bigfoot my ass.
00:28:16Love you, bro. Hey, I'm gonna get back to the babies, okay? Talk in a bit.
00:28:21God, I love him. We are definitely not killing him.
00:28:25Maybe we shouldn't kill anybody.
00:28:29Well, I think we should kill Macy or your fat friend who made all the dip.
00:28:33You know, no. It should be Macy. Can you imagine going through a life that looks so empty?
00:28:38We can always get more dip.
00:28:40But how about, instead of killing her, we get a ticket to the next Tony Robbins seminar?
00:28:46Who's Tony Robbins?
00:28:48Who's Tony Robbins? Only the most influential, motivational speaker there is. That's all.
00:28:54So he's like Harry Potter.
00:28:57How is Harry Potter like Tony Robbins?
00:29:00How about you pursuing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2? The one where Harry destroys Voldemort?
00:29:05You might have missed that one.
00:29:08Okay, well, you said this Tony guy is really motivating, right?
00:29:12Well, I get motivated and inspired every time I see Harry destroy Voldemort.
00:29:16It's amazing.
00:29:17Yeah.
00:29:18About the same thing.
00:29:20I just want to know what it feels like.
00:29:23To kill Voldemort?
00:29:24Well, yeah, that too.
00:29:25But mostly, how it feels to kill someone together.
00:29:29And it's a crazy orgasm.
00:29:32You heard?
00:29:33Who have you been talking to?
00:29:35You know what I mean.
00:29:36You wanna go outside?
00:29:38Nah, I think I'm just gonna chill here and have a drink.
00:29:41Okay.
00:29:42See you soon.
00:29:59Hello, handsome.
00:30:01What are you doing?
00:30:03I just wanted to say hi.
00:30:08Oh my god.
00:30:09This is a really good party.
00:30:13Yes, it is.
00:30:20Where is Lindsay?
00:30:22She went outside.
00:30:23But she's like the Terminator.
00:30:25She'll be back.
00:30:26Are you guys okay?
00:30:28Uh-huh.
00:30:29I don't know.
00:30:30She seems really preoccupied today.
00:30:41Did she ever find out about us?
00:30:44There was no us.
00:30:46It was one night.
00:30:48Ah, sire.
00:30:50You're lying.
00:30:53If she ever did find out, she would do something.
00:30:56Oh, come on.
00:30:58Oh my god.
00:30:59Come on.
00:31:00It's so sweet.
00:31:03You really shouldn't be sitting here.
00:31:07Why?
00:31:09We are just friends.
00:31:11Because you know how jealous Lindsay gets.
00:31:19Well, if you want to party later, I have some really cool blow in my purse.
00:31:26Okay.
00:31:41Annie.
00:31:44Annie.
00:31:46Annie.
00:31:47Get over here, man.
00:31:48No.
00:31:49Get over here, man.
00:31:50Get over here.
00:31:51Let's go here.
00:31:54Bro, I have a huge fucking problem.
00:31:57And I need help.
00:31:59What is it?
00:32:01Lindsay is fucking nuts.
00:32:03Yeah, most hot girls are.
00:32:04No.
00:32:05I mean, bad shit crazy off her rocker type of nuts.
00:32:09Yeah, no shit.
00:32:11No.
00:32:12You don't understand.
00:32:14She wants me and her to kill someone together.
00:32:20Hey, what are you talking about?
00:32:22What are you talking about?
00:32:24Exactly what I just said.
00:32:26She wants me and her to kill someone together to prove our love to one another.
00:32:32Is that completely fucking insane?
00:32:35Hold on, hold on.
00:32:36Let me see if I understand this.
00:32:38Your girlfriend wants you and her to kill someone together so that you can prove your love to each other?
00:32:44Yes, that is exactly what I'm telling you.
00:32:48Wow, that's a lot to digest.
00:32:53I mean, it's one of the most romantic things I've ever heard.
00:32:57I know, right?
00:32:58Wait, what?
00:33:00I mean, yeah, it's crazy, but there's a certain Shakespearean element to it.
00:33:05Did you not just hear what I said?
00:33:09He wants us to kill someone.
00:33:11As in murder, homicide, life in prison.
00:33:17Yeah, yeah, I heard you.
00:33:18Obviously, I'm not saying you shouldn't do it.
00:33:21I'm just saying you gotta admit it's one of the most romantic things I've ever heard.
00:33:25That's all I'm saying.
00:33:27Yeah, romantic, right.
00:33:29But what the fuck should I do?
00:33:30Just break up with her.
00:33:32Break up?
00:33:3315 minutes ago, the crazy bitch threatened to cut my nuts off because I was staring at Macy's tits.
00:33:38You saw Macy's tits?
00:33:39Did you touch them?
00:33:40Are they fake?
00:33:41Are they real?
00:33:42Oh my God, I love Macy's tits.
00:33:43Shut the fuck up.
00:33:45I have a serious problem here.
00:33:48I did touch Macy's tits.
00:33:50But they did look pretty spectacular.
00:33:52Yeah, I bet they did.
00:33:54They look so nice.
00:33:55Oh my God.
00:33:56They look right at my face.
00:33:57I just want to water both of them.
00:34:01Do it for me, bro.
00:34:02Do it for me.
00:34:03Go find her.
00:34:06Don't worry about your girl.
00:34:08She's crazy.
00:34:09She's not gonna really go up here.
00:34:12Don't fall asleep.
00:34:14Yeah, I never do.
00:34:20Holy shit, babe.
00:34:21You scared the shit out of me.
00:34:23Where were you?
00:34:24I was right over there watching you.
00:34:25Wow.
00:34:26You're like a chameleon.
00:34:27You just blend right in.
00:34:29How long were you standing there for?
00:34:34So what were you talking about?
00:34:36Nothing.
00:34:37Really?
00:34:38Because I could have sworn I heard Macy's name.
00:34:40Macy?
00:34:41No, I don't think so.
00:34:47Why are you so nervous, baby?
00:34:48Come here.
00:34:49Not nervous.
00:34:50Just...
00:34:51Just tired.
00:34:52Yeah?
00:34:54Mm-hmm.
00:34:55You having fun?
00:34:57I thought it.
00:34:58That's great.
00:34:59I was thinking maybe we should watch Harry Potter Part 2, the one with Voldemort.
00:35:04You like that movie, right?
00:35:05We could watch it after tonight.
00:35:07You hate Harry Potter.
00:35:08I tried to get you to watch it like 5,000 times and you said no.
00:35:10No, it's not that.
00:35:12I want to broaden my horizons a little bit more.
00:35:14Look, I think we're just gonna be a little bit busy with their stuff.
00:35:17You know?
00:35:19Are you asleep?
00:35:24Huh?
00:35:25No.
00:35:26Why?
00:35:27Is this weird thing with your brother and I in the family or something?
00:35:30No.
00:35:31Why?
00:35:32I fell asleep?
00:35:34I don't know.
00:35:35You just...
00:35:38No, it can't be.
00:35:40Anyway...
00:35:41What is wrong with you right now?
00:35:43Why are you acting so weird?
00:35:44I'm thirsty.
00:35:45I think I need a drink.
00:35:47That's what I do.
00:35:48Maybe two.
00:35:49Maybe a shot.
00:35:50Could you get me a shot?
00:35:51That would be really helpful.
00:35:55Please?
00:35:57Fine.
00:36:03Hi.
00:36:04Can we get a Cosmo, please?
00:36:05A Cosmo?
00:36:07For your date?
00:36:08No.
00:36:09No.
00:36:10For me.
00:36:11Seriously?
00:36:12Yeah.
00:36:13What's wrong with the Cosmo?
00:36:15And for you?
00:36:16Cuno Mas, wild turkey.
00:36:17Cuno Mas, wild turkey.
00:36:18Gotcha.
00:36:23There's a lot of fine Bettys here tonight.
00:36:27What's a Betty?
00:36:29You know, honey's, dimes, babes.
00:36:32Yeah, they sure are.
00:36:34Hey, wait a second.
00:36:37I know you, man.
00:36:39You're the guy from that Spanish dance show.
00:36:42The one that would nod off all the time.
00:36:46Yeah, that was me.
00:36:47It was canceled a few seasons ago.
00:36:49Oh, man.
00:36:50What was the name of it again?
00:36:51In English, it translates to dance like you mean it.
00:36:54Right, right, right.
00:36:56Man, I used to jack off to that show every Friday night.
00:36:59Mostly for the Latin babes and then little shorts.
00:37:04See, I got a question for you.
00:37:06All the guy dancers on that show, they were gay, right?
00:37:10What?
00:37:11No, no.
00:37:12I was on that show.
00:37:13I know.
00:37:14That's why I'm asking.
00:37:17What was your name again?
00:37:20The name's Harold.
00:37:21But my friends call me Matthew.
00:37:24That's an interesting jump.
00:37:25How do you go from Harold to Matthew?
00:37:27Well, howdy doody.
00:37:29How do you go from the earth to the moon?
00:37:32You just do.
00:37:35You know, the only thing I didn't like about that show
00:37:38was the actual dancing.
00:37:40What was wrong with the dancing?
00:37:41You know, it was a little woozy.
00:37:43It was a little wazzy.
00:37:46It just sucked.
00:37:49You think you can do better, Harold?
00:37:52Well, there's a difference in thinking you're a champion
00:37:55and knowing you are.
00:37:57What does that have to do with anything?
00:38:00I don't know, man.
00:38:01My life is a series of commas, not periods.
00:38:06Are you quoting Matthew McConaughey?
00:38:10Do you want to boogie me, ho?
00:38:13Because my dance floor is inside.
00:38:15You ain't gotta ask me twice.
00:38:17And as long as you don't jerk off to me.
00:38:19I can't promise you anything.
00:38:20I can't promise you anything.
00:38:37Pretty boy can move.
00:38:38Come on, come on.
00:38:39Just make that 2-0.
00:38:40Here we go.
00:38:41Here we go.
00:38:42Just make that 2-0.
00:38:43Yeah.
00:38:44Come on.
00:38:45Let me see that 2-0.
00:38:46Get up and roll.
00:38:47And make that 2-0.
00:38:48To the left.
00:38:49To the left.
00:38:50To the left.
00:38:51To the right.
00:38:52To the right.
00:38:53To the front.
00:38:54To the front.
00:38:55To the front.
00:38:56To the right.
00:38:57To the right.
00:38:58Now slide.
00:38:59Just slide, baby.
00:39:00Just slide, baby.
00:39:01Slide.
00:39:02Just slide, baby.
00:39:03Slide.
00:39:04Just slide, baby.
00:39:05Slide.
00:39:06Come on, come on.
00:39:07To the left.
00:39:08To the left.
00:39:09To the right.
00:39:10To the right.
00:39:11To the front.
00:39:12To the right.
00:39:13To the right.
00:39:14Now dip, baby, come on, let's dip, baby, dip, baby
00:39:18Dip, just dip, baby, dip, just dip, baby
00:39:22Cock-a-dammie, greedy, yo, let me see the juicy roll
00:39:25I don't know what you been told
00:39:27It ain't the butterfly, it's the juicy roll
00:39:29A brand new dance song
00:39:31Grab a point up and get on the dance floor
00:39:33And work them hips a little bit
00:39:35Then do that dip a little bit
00:39:36Oh yeah, you got it
00:39:38No real fans and no western bodies
00:39:40Ain't you over there with the long hair
00:39:42Keep rolling that derby up
00:39:44Cause it ain't hard
00:39:45Dip, brand new dance from 1994
00:39:47Seek the night and the place to be
00:39:49A-O-Ski, what we came to see
00:39:51Cock-a-dammie, greedy, yo, let me see the juicy roll
00:39:54Here we go, come on, come on, come on, let me see the juicy roll
00:40:00Okay, I have some names I really think we should consider
00:40:08Babe, I've been doing a lot of thinking
00:40:13And I want you to hear me out
00:40:15Don't you think it'll be smarter
00:40:18If we waited and planned this thing out better
00:40:20The last thing we want to do is get caught
00:40:23We'll never see each other again
00:40:25Why would we get caught?
00:40:28I don't know
00:40:29Bloody glove left at Rockingham
00:40:32Cops have a way of finding shit
00:40:34Who's Rockingham?
00:40:36Before your time
00:40:37Well I read that about 51% of all murders never get solved
00:40:43Do we really want to flip that coin?
00:40:47Let's just wait, plan this thing out better
00:40:50I knew you didn't love me
00:40:55My god, babe, I do love you regardless of how hard you make it
00:41:00What the hell is that supposed to mean?
00:41:02I'm going to get a drink
00:41:04What's going on here?
00:41:18Hey, don't get mad, alright
00:41:20But Matthew and I have been discussing what's been going on
00:41:23What are you talking about?
00:41:26You know, this whole thing with your girl
00:41:27And her wanting to, you know
00:41:28Are you out of your mind, you tallest crazy fucker?
00:41:34Newsflash
00:41:51I ain't crazy
00:41:53Just selectively coherent
00:41:55You hear this?
00:41:59This is the guy you share my personal business with
00:42:02The Matthew McConaughey guy
00:42:03Thanks for looking out, bro
00:42:05Hey, Matthew has some great ideas
00:42:07Tell him
00:42:08I don't think he can handle the truth
00:42:11Just fucking tell him, Matthew
00:42:12Well, from what Manny tells me
00:42:18Your girlfriend suffers from borderline personality disorder
00:42:22You familiar?
00:42:23Not really, but I think I'm starting to figure it out
00:42:27Well, it's not to be taken lightly
00:42:30People with this condition
00:42:32They have a hard time dealing with everyday life
00:42:35They have self-image issues
00:42:37Difficulty dealing with emotions
00:42:39They have a problem with relationships
00:42:42Is this ringing any bells for you?
00:42:44What the hell do you know with this?
00:42:48That's not important
00:42:49What is important is that your girlfriend is stopped
00:42:52People with this condition when in the manic phase
00:42:56They will do anything it takes to follow through
00:43:00So how do I stop her?
00:43:05Matthew thinks
00:43:07Matthew thinks that we should kill her
00:43:12Are you out of your fucking mind?
00:43:13It's not cool for me
00:43:14I know, right?
00:43:16But are you willing to spend the rest of your life in prison for her?
00:43:18Or worse, killing an innocent person
00:43:20Just because she's insecure?
00:43:22Well, when you put it that way
00:43:24There's no other way to put it
00:43:25That bitch gotta die
00:43:28I can't kill Lindsay
00:43:30You don't have to
00:43:31I'll do it
00:43:33Just make her think that you're going along with the plan
00:43:37When it comes down to decide who to kill
00:43:39You tell her you want to kill me
00:43:41Why you?
00:43:43Because
00:43:43I'm Matthew fucking McConaughey
00:43:49He hit me
00:43:56He hit me
00:43:58He hit me
00:44:00Mom?
00:44:01Yeah
00:44:01He hit me
00:44:03And he's going to kill me
00:44:05Literally outside
00:44:06Mom, what the hell happened to your face?
00:44:08He hit me
00:44:08Have you been drinking?
00:44:10So what?
00:44:10That piece of shit
00:44:11Barry?
00:44:17Where are you?
00:44:18I'm going to crack your fucking joke
00:44:19Erin, get in the fucking car now
00:44:21No
00:44:22Erin, get the fuck over here
00:44:24No
00:44:24Go away, Barry
00:44:25Shut up
00:44:26Shut up
00:44:26You fucking whore
00:44:28Barry, we are done
00:44:29You will never lay your hands on me again
00:44:31Oh yeah?
00:44:31You want to play?
00:44:32Come on
00:44:32Let's go
00:44:34Ow
00:44:36Howdy howdy
00:44:38That fucking hurts
00:44:40These were $2,000 shoes
00:44:48If I see you and your slippers again
00:44:50I'll shove them straight up your fucking ass
00:44:52Now get the fuck out of here
00:44:53You okay, dad?
00:44:57Yeah, it's just a stinger
00:44:58Look, I'm not even bleeding
00:44:59It's nothing that a wild turkey can't fix
00:45:03You know I had them until you yelled
00:45:05What are you talking about?
00:45:07I yelled after you grabbed them
00:45:08Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
00:45:10As I recall it
00:45:11You yelled just as I sprung like a tiger
00:45:13Going after its morning meal
00:45:15Don't eat the tiger?
00:45:18It's still a tiger
00:45:19Babe, take your mother inside
00:45:23Get it cleaned up
00:45:24She can do it herself
00:45:25Mom, there's an ice pack in the freezer
00:45:27What's wrong with you?
00:45:29Last time I saw my mother
00:45:30She wanted me to get stronger next
00:45:32She chose Barry over me a long time ago
00:45:35Babe, it's your mother
00:45:36Seriously?
00:45:40I don't care
00:45:41She'd rather me be doped up
00:45:43Than have to deal with me
00:45:44Oh, let's go
00:45:51Yeah, but
00:45:53So, you gonna tell me what happened?
00:45:55I don't even know
00:45:56One minute we were on our way to Key West
00:45:59The next minute we were standing in the middle of the parking lot
00:46:01Screaming at each other
00:46:02Next thing I know
00:46:04He hits me
00:46:05Yo, he's a piece of shit
00:46:08I've been trying to tell you that since you met him
00:46:11You never listened to me
00:46:13You never cared
00:46:14That's not true
00:46:15I'm not gonna talk about this right now
00:46:23Mrs. Joseph
00:46:24You okay?
00:46:25Yeah
00:46:26Lindsay, do you need anything?
00:46:28Alright, well if you ladies need something, let me know, okay?
00:46:32Hey David Koresh
00:46:45You and your disciples
00:46:46Scram
00:46:47Alright?
00:46:48Go light yourself on fire someplace else
00:46:50Get the fuck out of here
00:46:52Don't give me attitude
00:46:55Get the fuck out of here
00:46:56Look, I'm not saying the guy doesn't deserve it
00:47:07I mean he stabbed Matthew for Christ's sake
00:47:09And everyone saw that he did it
00:47:11I'm just saying if he disappears
00:47:12It's not gonna take the cops long to figure out who did it
00:47:15You gotta tell me that, bro
00:47:16I'm still trying to get Lindsay to understand
00:47:19For some reason she thinks that cops
00:47:21Have a hard time solving murders
00:47:22Look, she don't have to understand
00:47:25Just stick to the game plan, will you?
00:47:28Can't we just get through the day without killing anybody?
00:47:31Well, you tell us
00:47:32It's a fucked up situation, man
00:47:35Either I kill someone with my girlfriend
00:47:38Or I kill my girlfriend
00:47:40There's gotta be an option when nobody dies
00:47:43Hunter, let me ask you a serious question
00:47:45Do you think for some sick reason
00:47:48Lindsay won't try to kill you one day?
00:47:50In your heart of hearts, can you tell me that?
00:47:52Because if you can, I say we drop the whole thing
00:47:54Pass me that shot
00:47:57There you go
00:47:58I can't say that
00:48:01Then Operation Cataclysm is in full effect
00:48:05What the fuck is Operation Cataclysm?
00:48:08It's a code name for our game plan
00:48:09Where did you come up with that?
00:48:12Well, originally I called it Operation Chaos
00:48:14But then I thought Operation Cataclysm
00:48:16Just kind of sounded cooler
00:48:17I can change it back
00:48:19Cataclysm sounds okay
00:48:23Are you sure?
00:48:24I haven't filed the trademark yet
00:48:25Seriously
00:48:27I can change it back to Chaos
00:48:29Not really
00:48:29Matthew
00:48:29I like Cataclysm
00:48:32Alright
00:48:33So here's the game plan
00:48:35Hunter, you're here
00:48:39Manny, you're here
00:48:41Wait, why am I by the thumb?
00:48:43Can't you like dry down your chest
00:48:44So that way you can use both hands?
00:48:45I don't need both hands
00:48:48Personally, I think you should draw it out on the floor so we can all see
00:48:51You can't see that?
00:48:53When you stick it in my face I can
00:48:55But I'd much rather look at the floor than the dirty creases in your palm
00:48:58Or the chest
00:48:59I mean, anything's better than your palms
00:49:01I mean, my brother's right
00:49:02You should wash your hands, bro
00:49:04Jesus Christ
00:49:05The chest, the floor
00:49:06Who gives a fuck?
00:49:06Let's just stick with the plan
00:49:08Can we at least agree on that?
00:49:11Damn
00:49:11You ain't gotta yell, bro
00:49:13Fuck
00:49:16Let's smoke some of this and calm down
00:49:18Hey, are you okay?
00:49:29None of you fucking people care
00:49:32Nobody does
00:49:33To all my friends
00:49:47You think he's okay?
00:49:53I don't know
00:49:55I don't know
00:49:57Ah, fuck Misa
00:49:59Oh my god
00:50:21The guy that was eating all the food inside
00:50:23was trying to drown himself in the jacuzzi.
00:50:31Isn't anyone going to save me?
00:50:34Anyone?
00:50:36What's wrong with you people?
00:50:39I'm drowning.
00:50:40I'm a human being.
00:50:42Hello?
00:50:51Man, I don't know what's going on in your life,
00:50:54but I know what it's like to be an outcast in society.
00:50:59Look at me.
00:51:00I've been clinically diagnosed with MS, McConaughey Syndrome.
00:51:04I'm the founder of the Serial Whackers Club of America.
00:51:10So I see you.
00:51:13The only advice I can give you, brother,
00:51:16is you just got to keep on living.
00:51:18L-I-D-I-N.
00:51:21Bring it in here.
00:51:23You're going to be all right, all right, all right.
00:51:29Just get it all out.
00:51:30Go ahead, go ahead.
00:51:31Get it all out.
00:51:51You get us a bottle of champagne
00:52:06and we can take this party to the room.
00:52:08All right.
00:52:09Okay.
00:52:09Okay.
00:52:09See, that's what real dancing looks like, Clayboy.
00:52:25You should take some notes.
00:52:27Let me guess.
00:52:28You're going to jack off to her, too?
00:52:30Yeah, most likely.
00:52:31I'm going to do your first time.
00:52:40You double fist ever?
00:52:42Well, got you one.
00:52:46What is it?
00:52:47Well, a cucumber.
00:52:48It's so bitter.
00:52:51Yeah, I'm going to be a good one for this one.
00:52:54Where's your mother?
00:52:55I know.
00:53:04That's really bitter.
00:53:06Sorry.
00:53:08Sorry.
00:53:09Want to join the party?
00:53:18That drink was strong.
00:53:25My lips are tingly.
00:53:29It wasn't the alcohol.
00:53:33What do you mean?
00:53:36Why am I slurring my words?
00:53:40That's because I slipped a little something special into your drink.
00:53:44Special?
00:53:45Special, I know how you love ecstasy.
00:53:50You put ecstasy in my drink?
00:53:55Well, it's kind of like ecstasy.
00:53:59Cadillac?
00:54:00What do you mean?
00:54:02It's a bit of a concoction I invented.
00:54:05It's part ecstasy, part Prozac, and part Pentothal.
00:54:11Where the fuck?
00:54:12It's a petcysaut, it's a sweet serum that you see in the mood.
00:54:20Exactly.
00:54:22Why?
00:54:24What is it that makes me?
00:54:26Because, I want to know why you and your fucking brother have been talking to that weird Matthew McConaughey guy.
00:54:34Okay, what did you talk about?
00:54:38Isn't this...
00:54:42Hunter, I need to know that I can trust you.
00:54:48Because without trust, we have nothing.
00:54:52So I'm gonna ask you again.
00:54:55What did you talk about?
00:54:59Trust?
00:55:02This just strikes me.
00:55:18Are you ready?
00:55:21For the world famous baloney pony, baby?
00:55:26Ready to hop on the pony?
00:55:31See if you can last the full eight seconds.
00:55:35Your hair smells incredible, baby.
00:55:39It's like a warm summer douche.
00:55:42You know, I thought your skin would be a lot smoother.
00:55:50Really?
00:55:51Are you kidding me?
00:55:52You little missed me.
00:55:53Get over here, you fucking bummer.
00:55:54Get back here.
00:55:55Get back here, you little missed me.
00:55:57Get off me, baby.
00:55:58Get off me, baby.
00:55:59Get off me, baby.
00:56:00Hey, no fucking for you, baby.
00:56:01Oh, please.
00:56:02Mom, what the fuck?
00:56:03Hey.
00:56:04What did she do to you?
00:56:13She took something to me by his beard.
00:56:16She said it was like ecstasy.
00:56:18Like ecstasy?
00:56:19What does that mean?
00:56:21Yo, Prozac.
00:56:24She gave you fucking Prozac.
00:56:26Yeah.
00:56:27Truth serum.
00:56:29Truth serum?
00:56:30What the fuck?
00:56:32No, man, man.
00:56:34She's coming back to me.
00:56:36She makes you all together capable of me.
00:56:40Jesus Christ.
00:56:42Did you tell her anything?
00:56:44I can't feel my face.
00:56:47Why did I fucking tell her?
00:56:49Huh?
00:56:50We can't understand you.
00:56:52You're a mustache.
00:56:55Oh, God.
00:56:56The hair is so pretty.
00:56:59And how do you keep it showing me?
00:57:03Get a hold of yourself, man.
00:57:06You're losing it.
00:57:08Monocococcin' folks that don't even exist.
00:57:13Oh, God.
00:57:15Matthew, give me a glass of water, would you?
00:57:17Man, this is no time to think of yourself.
00:57:19It's for him, you idiot.
00:57:21No, you idiot.
00:57:26No, you idiot.
00:57:28Oh, shit.
00:57:30What?
00:57:31Yeah, are you awake?
00:57:32Are you soaked?
00:57:34Yes, but are you awake now?
00:57:36I'm soaked.
00:57:39Drugs.
00:57:40Drugs.
00:57:41So we're going to need some help.
00:57:43I'm going to call a couple of my friends from my support group.
00:57:46They're ex-cons, but they're good guys.
00:57:48I'm going to call them right now.
00:57:49I don't know.
00:57:50I don't know.
00:57:51I don't know.
00:57:52I don't know.
00:57:53I don't know.
00:57:54I feel like I'm going to throw up.
00:58:04All right, all right, all right.
00:58:06Welcome, guys.
00:58:08So, Hunter, Manny, I'd like you to meet Matthew Dallas and Matthew Wolfe.
00:58:13These guys are from my MS support group.
00:58:15What McConaughey are you?
00:58:20Oh, well, I'm what's known as the universal McConaughey.
00:58:25It's very rare.
00:58:27Although my roots are planted and dazed and confused,
00:58:30I can become just about any McConaughey the universe tells me to be.
00:58:35Dazed and confused.
00:58:37That's exactly how I feel.
00:58:39So how can we help you guys?
00:58:41Well, we're about to launch Operation Cataclysm.
00:58:45Hold on right there.
00:58:48Who named it Operation Cataclysm?
00:58:51That was a collective effort, but I guess I'm the one who named it.
00:58:56It's not bad, but I think you could come up with something way more McConaughey-ish.
00:59:04Is that so?
00:59:06Something cooler.
00:59:09Like what?
00:59:18What about Operation Chaos?
00:59:24God damn it!
00:59:25We should've went with Operation Chaos.
00:59:27Should've went with my instincts.
00:59:29Doesn't matter what we call it.
00:59:32We could call it whatever the fuck we want, Matthew.
00:59:35I kind of like Cataclysm.
00:59:37It sounds tough.
00:59:38Not tougher than Chaos.
00:59:40Whoa!
00:59:41Hold on, Wolf.
00:59:42Just imagine you were being convicted of murdering someone.
00:59:47Let's just say this girl here.
00:59:49Would you want to be known as the Chaos Killer or the Cataclysm Killer?
00:59:56Woo!
00:59:57Every time I say Cataclysm, I sound like Mike Tyson.
01:00:01You do have a point.
01:00:02Sounds kind of lispy when it rolls off the tongue.
01:00:07Cataclysm.
01:00:08Cataclysm.
01:00:09Cataclysm.
01:00:10Cataclysm.
01:00:11Clifam.
01:00:12Clifam.
01:00:13Clifam.
01:00:14Shut the fuck up.
01:00:16Are you all completely Looney Tunes?
01:00:20Yo, Hunter.
01:00:21I'd be careful with the name calling.
01:00:23Why?
01:00:24Are the Matthews gonna kick my ass?
01:00:27I never told you why they went to prison.
01:00:30Let me guess.
01:00:32Identity theft.
01:00:34No.
01:00:35Somebody picked on them.
01:00:37Called them names.
01:00:39Really?
01:00:40What happened to the guy?
01:00:42Nobody knows.
01:00:44You know the old saying, nobody, no crime.
01:00:47Oh, shit.
01:00:49Well, so Operation Chaos it is.
01:00:51Dallas, did you bring the peace?
01:00:53Never leave home without it.
01:00:56Shit just got real.
01:00:59This is a real sobering experience.
01:01:04Hey, Manny.
01:01:06Manny.
01:01:07Manny.
01:01:08Manny.
01:01:09Who?
01:01:10Manny, you go chase everybody off.
01:01:12Yeah.
01:01:13When you see Lindsay, just follow along with her plan.
01:01:22Tell her you want to speak privately or some shit.
01:01:24We'll take care of the rest.
01:01:26You just get her back here.
01:01:28Okay.
01:01:29But one thing.
01:01:31I have to be the one to do this.
01:01:34I have to kill her myself.
01:01:37Cannot let a stranger do this.
01:01:39Hey, if you want the blood on your hands, that's fine with us.
01:01:43They're on my hands regardless.
01:01:45Are you gonna be able to handle this?
01:01:47I have no choice.
01:01:48Lindsay's my girl.
01:01:49I can't let anybody else lose.
01:01:50Alright.
01:01:51Everyone's gone.
01:01:52Where's Lindsay?
01:01:53She's in the kitchen.
01:01:54What about her mother?
01:01:55I think she's back too.
01:01:56So Lindsay is in the kitchen.
01:01:57You just let us know when you're done.
01:01:58The Matthews will take care at disposal and clean up.
01:02:17Hey babe, I was wondering where you were.
01:02:21I was just shooting the ship with the guys.
01:02:22Why are you staring at me without a gun?
01:02:27Why are you staring at me like that?
01:02:32We've been through a lot, me and you.
01:02:36We definitely have.
01:02:39But lately, it's just been difficult with this whole murder plot thing.
01:02:45Listen, I wanted to talk to you about that.
01:02:49I'm sorry, baby.
01:02:51The time for talking is over.
01:02:56What the fuck are you doing?
01:03:00Hunter, this is not funny.
01:03:03Hunter, please don't do this, please.
01:03:07I'm sorry, baby.
01:03:09I loved you.
01:03:11Hunter!
01:03:26Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:03:30Fuck.
01:03:32Did you idiots really think I was gonna kill my girlfriend?
01:03:35Manny, you of all people should know better.
01:03:38You double-crossing piece of shit.
01:03:41We were just trying to help you, man.
01:03:43The only people in this room that need help are you crazy fucking sick twisted McConaughey fuckers.
01:03:50You see, babe?
01:03:52We didn't have to make a choice.
01:03:55These idiots made the choice for us.
01:03:57They sure did, baby.
01:03:59How are you gonna shoot us all with one gun, genius?
01:04:02I was actually thinking about that back in the bedroom.
01:04:05Thankfully, you idiots left us another gun.
01:04:07What are you talking about?
01:04:11Oh.
01:04:13Django, better call Saul.
01:04:15Get the fuck out of here.
01:04:17Sorry we couldn't help.
01:04:19Have a nice day, guys.
01:04:21Alright, I'll see you guys on Tuesday.
01:04:24To be completely honest with you, I started the day not knowing who was gonna die.
01:04:30As a matter of fact, I didn't want to kill anybody.
01:04:33But you morons made it impossible.
01:04:34What do you think, babe?
01:04:37Now, Manny brought me into this thing.
01:04:39If that helps you decide.
01:04:43What the fuck, Matthew?
01:04:45That's true.
01:04:46I was minding my own damn business until you told me about this stupid fucking murder plot thing.
01:04:51I knew you were bad news.
01:04:52I could tell about the way you danced.
01:04:54I could feel it.
01:04:56You rat bastard.
01:04:58Kill the Latin Lover or Matthew McConaughey.
01:05:01It really is a tough choice.
01:05:02If I had to pick, I'd say we'd kill him.
01:05:07I got an idea.
01:05:09Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
01:05:13Catch a tiger by its tongue.
01:05:16If he hollers, let him go.
01:05:19Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
01:05:23I think I left out a line somewhere.
01:05:27Here, I'll make it easy.
01:05:28Let's kill your brother.
01:05:30Yes, I like this idea.
01:05:33Beat it, moron.
01:05:35Alright, you don't have to tell me twice.
01:05:38Adios, muchacho.
01:05:39I hate you, Benedict Arnold.
01:05:44I guess this is the one time you don't get the girl, brah.
01:05:50Hey, I'm talking over here.
01:05:52My entire life I've hated that whole Rico Suave act.
01:05:56You know, I never even thought you were Cuban.
01:06:00I always suspected you were from Tijuana.
01:06:03And all those bullshit nicknames you had when we were kids growing up.
01:06:08The Latin Lover.
01:06:10The Cuban Missile Crisis.
01:06:12The Shawshank Redemption.
01:06:14I don't even think you saw the movie.
01:06:15It's Shawshank Invention.
01:06:18Okay, completely different.
01:06:19Yeah, whatever.
01:06:20Doesn't matter anymore.
01:06:22What matters now is you make peace with Jesus.
01:06:27We should just shoot him like this.
01:06:29He won't even know what happened.
01:06:32You do have pretty teeth though, I'll give you that.
01:06:35You're not shooting anywhere today.
01:06:38Sorry you feel that way, bro.
01:06:40Sorry to break it to you, but we only put one bullet in that gun.
01:06:45Lindsey and I knew you didn't have what it takes.
01:06:48You're too predictable.
01:06:51Um, what is he talking about?
01:06:54And why do you have that gunpoint that I have?
01:06:55Could you move it over, please?
01:06:57Put the fucking gun down, Hunter.
01:07:06Oh!
01:07:08What the fuck is going on?
01:07:11Babe, I'm sorry, but I told you.
01:07:12It's all about trust.
01:07:16I tried to explain the meaning of loyalty to you, but you just never got it.
01:07:21I saw Macy on your lap.
01:07:23Mm-hmm.
01:07:25See the way you look at other girls?
01:07:28Ugh.
01:07:29You were never mine.
01:07:30Macy sat on my lap.
01:07:31I just fucking said that, you idiot.
01:07:33Babe, you got this completely wrong. I love you.
01:07:36Yeah, I'm always completely wrong.
01:07:37And you have a funny way of showing your love.
01:07:38Ho-ho!
01:07:39Damn!
01:07:41Oh, yup, he's dead. It's you and Mina. Whoa!
01:07:44I've been doing some thinking.
01:07:45And the whole fucking Playboy bullshit.
01:07:48I don't really like it.
01:07:49Don't listen to my debt, brother.
01:07:50It has nothing to do with what he said. It's just a whole thing. It doesn't really do it for me.
01:08:02You said you wanted me. I was the one. You wanted to move in together.
01:08:05I'm sorry, but you failed the test.
01:08:06Test? What fucking test?
01:08:07If you would screw your own brother over for a girl, how could I ever trust you? How could you ever be loyal to me?
01:08:12It's all about loyalty.
01:08:13You really are a crazy bitch.
01:08:15I may be crazy, but at least I'm not dead.
01:08:18Oh shit!
01:08:19I'm sorry.
01:08:20I'm sorry, but you failed the test.
01:08:21Test? What fucking test?
01:08:22If you would screw your own brother over for a girl, how could I ever trust you? How could you ever be loyal to me?
01:08:32It's all about loyalty.
01:08:34You really are a crazy bitch.
01:08:37I may be crazy, but at least I'm not dead.
01:08:48Let's get that.
01:09:18Let's go.
01:09:48I want us to kill someone.
01:10:18She's dancing in the field and the sun is in her eyes.
01:10:32Thousands are one in her eyes.
01:10:40So she stumbles through the fields.
01:10:50She can't see, though she tries.
01:10:58Should have worn her pennant.
01:11:02Now she stumbles.
01:11:04Now she cries.
01:11:09Oh.
01:11:13Oh.
01:11:17Oh.
01:11:19Oh.
01:11:24Oh.
01:11:25Oh.
01:11:29You
01:11:59You
01:12:29You
01:12:59You
01:13:29You
01:13:59You
01:14:29You
01:14:59You
01:15:29You
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