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00:00Special, starring Mark Pritch, Trent McClellan, Abba Amakwondo, Stacey McGonagall, Chris Wilson,
00:11with Mark McKinney, Adam Baldwin, Craig Toomey, Dan Dillabao, Isabella Campbell.
00:19Appearances by Pierre Polyev, Justin Trudeau, Xavier Trudeau, Sarah McLachlan,
00:26Choir, Choir, Choir, Fifth Naked, Elamin Abdel-Mahmoud, The Beaches, Brad Gushu, Brad Jacobs, Rachel Homin, Dominic LeBlanc, Stephen Guibault, Ali Hassan, Don Davies, Nahid Nenshi, and more.
00:41The 22-Minutes New Year's Eve Pre-Game Special starts now.
00:45Welcome to the 22-Minutes New Year's Eve Pre-Game Special.
00:56Tonight, we've invited the whole country over to hang out with us.
00:59And no talking about politics. We'll take care of that.
01:03So come in, take off your coat, and throw it on the bed with the other $40 million.
01:08Grab a beverage, get comfortable. We do not have enough chairs.
01:12Over the next hour, we'll be looking ahead to 2026 and deciding whether we should just fast-forward to 2027.
01:20But first, we'll say, see you in hell, 2025. Or, I mean, a fond farewell.
01:26So much happened this year. Let's relive it, shall we?
01:30Let's not.
01:30Oh, roll it!
01:31Okay.
01:332025, a year that started with a fond farewell and a less fond, who the hell let you back in here?
01:40Donald Trump returned to the White House.
01:43This time, he was going to show the world he always gets what he wants.
01:47He put every country on notice.
01:49It was time to play by his rules, including the dress code.
01:53No country was safe, especially not Canada.
01:56What I'd like to see Canada become our 51st state.
01:59We were shocked and confused, asking questions like,
02:03Huh? That artificial line that looks like it was done with a ruler, and what kind of ruler looks like this?
02:11But Canadians were ready to fight back.
02:13Donald, even though you're a very smart guy, this is a very dumb thing to do.
02:20And if anyone knows a dumb thing to do, it's Justin Trudeau.
02:24The whole country was united against Trump's threats, from our leaders to our celebrities.
02:28Even our wildlife got into the ring.
02:31Everyone was on board.
02:33Well, almost everyone.
02:35There was one Canadian who noticeably kept his elbows down.
02:38Pierre can't read the room.
02:40Polyev ignored the rise of patriotism and stayed on his message of,
02:44This place sucks.
02:45Everything in Canada is broken.
02:46Canada is broken.
02:47Everything is broken in Canada.
02:49His inability to pivot saw his conservatives lose a massive lead and ultimately the election.
02:55Pierre accepted defeat, graciously stepping down as leader.
02:58Just kidding.
02:59He ran in a by-election in the most conservative riding in the country to regain a seat in the house.
03:03While Polyev was going full rodeo clown, the new Prime Minister, Mark Carney, seen here running for his life, got down.
03:10Then he got down to work.
03:12He hopped on the charm offensive with the Donalds, and it worked.
03:15I like Carney a lot.
03:17I think he's a good, good person.
03:19Trump doesn't even say that about his wife or children.
03:21Meanwhile, Canadians kept their elbows up, buying Canadian, selling their U.S. properties, and cancelling their vacations south of the border,
03:30no matter how much America wanted us to visit.
03:34Things were going well.
03:36A trade deal seemed imminent until one man blew it all up.
03:40Doug Ford got creative, and Donald Trump lost it, putting any chance of a deal on hold.
03:45I'll never apologize to Donald Trump, ever.
03:48If they put me on a stretching rack, I wouldn't apologize.
03:52Thankfully, Canadians had some heroes to lift our spirits.
03:56The Jays went back to the World Series, uniting the country and giving us the perfect metaphor for 2025.
04:02As the year drew to a close, we witnessed the improbable.
04:06Conservatives turning into liberals.
04:07And liberals turning popular in Alberta.
04:10In the end, 2025 taught us that anything is possible.
04:15And that's not always a good thing.
04:19Welcome.
04:20So, we got some punch, chips.
04:23Oh, and you guys have a shrimp ring, too.
04:25Oh, yeah, get into it.
04:26I shouldn't.
04:27Maybe I'll have a couple, because they are so good.
04:30They are good.
04:31Yeah.
04:33It's big shrimping, baby.
04:37Yeah, yeah.
04:40Cocktail sauce.
04:45You know I tail them, bang them, dip them, slurp them, because that's how bad I need them.
04:49Take them out of the sea, put them into me, so no one else can eat them.
04:53They catch them, fresh them, freeze them.
04:55It's all about it's shrimp season.
04:56I had seconds, but I'm going for thirds.
04:59You ate 14 shrimp?
05:01It wasn't only me.
05:02Slow down.
05:03Okay, I promise.
05:04But I trust that I did bring a backup shrimp ring.
05:10Even eat the butts, flitted in my guts, then it's burp, burp, and I'm throwing them up now.
05:13Right.
05:17Right.
05:20Amanda, stop.
05:21You're making yourself sick.
05:22Just shut up and let me party, okay?
05:24This isn't how people party.
05:25Whatever.
05:26It's fine.
05:26It's all gone now.
05:27Uh, did someone here order eight shrimp rings?
05:31We talking big shrimp in on New Year's Eve.
05:35Check them out now.
05:36Big shrimp in, got toss up my sleeve.
05:38We doing big shrimp in, it's my M.Y.E. thing.
05:42Big shrimp in, got food poisoning.
05:49Oh, oh.
05:51Why don't you guys let me do that?
05:54Ah, you just all watch me eat so much shrimp.
06:00Prime Minister Kearney must have been a good boy this year because he got the gift he wanted,
06:04another seat in the House.
06:06Former Conservative MP Michael Ma crossed over to the Liberals and attended their holiday
06:10party literally the day after attending the Conservative Party.
06:13He double-dipped holiday parties.
06:15He would have gone to three, but the NDPs didn't have official party status.
06:19The Conservatives were quick to call out Ma's party fouls.
06:25Conservative MP Kurt Holman, who wrote,
06:28Hey, Kurt Holman, it's called Secret Santa.
06:45The Prime Minister made it clear that Conservative MPs are more than welcome at the Liberal Party.
06:49You are going to have a much better time spending Christmas with us than Christmas with the Cranks.
06:59We are all about Santa, not about the Grinch.
07:04And what happened then?
07:05Well, in Ottawa, we hear the Kearney minority grew two seats that year.
07:09The true meaning of Christmas is crossing the floor.
07:12Now for his majority, he just needs one more.
07:15Oh my God, this is Pierre's worst New Year's party yet.
07:23You think so? Remember 2021?
07:25We had to help him put his contacts in.
07:27This one's worse.
07:28Look around.
07:29We're at a loser party.
07:31Maybe we should go to the Liberal Party.
07:33Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
07:34Isn't this party something, team?
07:36No music, fully lit, hard chairs.
07:39I love it.
07:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:41Too bad some of the group left for the Liberal Party.
07:44Traitorous scum.
07:45Yeah, I hate traitorous scum.
07:47Plus, I heard the party sucks anyway.
07:48You know, open bar.
07:50Can you imagine enjoying a drink you didn't earn?
07:53Yeah.
07:54Plus, new year, new Pierre.
07:57I'm nice and I'm fun now.
08:00You guys want to play my favorite party game?
08:02Eye test.
08:03Maybe in a bit.
08:04Okay, you're missing out.
08:06Don Tremont just texted me and they are currently doing body shots off of Mark Carney's abs.
08:13And whoever leaves now gets to be Minister of Transportation.
08:16Oh, that's one of the easy ones.
08:17Hey, we are true blue conservatives.
08:19We're not going to have fun at the Liberal Party.
08:21It'll be too woke.
08:22No, they've changed, okay?
08:24Apparently, every drink comes with a plastic straw.
08:27Oh.
08:28I don't know this.
08:29P-E-Z-O-L-C-F-T-D.
08:34Nice.
08:34Yes.
08:35Nailed it.
08:36You know what?
08:37I spent all of 2025 being a loser.
08:39And I will not go into 2026 a loser.
08:41I'm switching parties.
08:42What?
08:42No.
08:43I knew it.
08:44Still nearsighted.
08:45You guys want to check?
08:46Oh, did she leave?
08:47That's fine.
08:48Good riddance.
08:49It's fine.
08:50We'll turn it up.
08:51We can have some fun.
08:52Tequila shots.
08:53Sure.
08:53Yeah, sure.
08:54I don't have tequila.
08:55I never bought it.
08:56Never had it.
08:57But we can lick salt.
08:59Put your hands out.
09:01All right, lick them.
09:01Come on.
09:02Here we go.
09:02Let's lick it up.
09:03Oh.
09:04Cheers.
09:05Eye contact.
09:05Eye contact.
09:07Whoa.
09:08Oh, wow.
09:09Yeah.
09:09Okay.
09:10Who needs a lime?
09:11Oh.
09:12You guys have got to switch parties.
09:15Okay?
09:15It's so much fun.
09:16The rule is you take a shot every time you say the name of a company Carney has financial interest
09:21in.
09:22Wasted.
09:27All right.
09:28You guys can go.
09:29Go on.
09:31New Pierre can also admit when he's lost.
09:34Yeah.
09:34Have fun.
09:35Maybe I can join?
09:37Oh.
09:38It might be like a little weird.
09:40Awkward.
09:40Yeah.
09:41Next year.
09:42Oh, next year.
09:42Yeah.
09:43Yeah, I like that.
09:44Next year.
09:44Cool.
09:45Bye.
09:45Bye.
09:46Yeah.
09:47All right.
09:48Counting down a woman's biological clock.
09:50Ten.
09:51Nine.
09:51Eight.
09:52The Oscars, the Junos, the Nobels.
09:58Imagine, if you will, an award more important than all of those combined times two.
10:03Now, stop imagining it's real.
10:0622 Minutes presents our first ever Best of the Year awards, the 22-ies.
10:12Here's Trent with our first award of the night.
10:15This fall, the Toronto Blue Jays united and electrified Canadians with their incredible
10:19postseason run.
10:20And a lot of people jumped on the bandwagon.
10:23Like Pierre Polyef showing he's not a hat guy.
10:27And Geddy Lee, who let the Jays get closer to his heart.
10:30And we think that's Eugene Levy.
10:33Tilt back that brim.
10:33Let's see those brows.
10:35But one fan truly embodied just how jacked, how juiced, how pumped we all were about the
10:41team this year.
10:42The 22-ie for biggest Jays fan goes to the incredibly ripped guy behind home plate, Dean
10:48Angelo.
10:50I just want to thank the 22-ies for being the biggest Jays fan in 2025.
10:56I know there's so many other dedicated Blue Jays fans out there.
11:00But I'm honored to just be the human representation of just how jacked up Canada was for the
11:05this past Jays season.
11:06I hope Adam Gray has a great New Year.
11:08Go Jays.
11:13Happy New Year.
11:142025.
11:16What a year.
11:16Am I right?
11:17LA wildfires.
11:18Russia, Ukraine, Gaza.
11:20In China, they call it the year of the snake.
11:23My kind of year, quite frankly.
11:25A lot of people are saying it was the best year ever.
11:28It was incredible.
11:29Wasn't it?
11:30Beautiful tariffs.
11:31A new White House ballroom.
11:33And the first American pope.
11:35We won pope.
11:36We got golden pope.
11:37Which we will now call pop.
11:39And we'll make the Vatican estate.
11:40Believe me, we really will.
11:43And the Epstein list came out.
11:44A bestseller.
11:45And I'm not in it.
11:46I have nothing to hide.
11:47Have a look.
11:49Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
11:50Clinton.
11:52Yes, 2025 was the best year ever.
11:55But, sir, they tell me it has to go away now.
11:57Because it's New Year's Eve.
11:59Well, they told me I lost the election.
12:01And that I had to go away.
12:02And look how that turned out.
12:042025 is not going anywhere.
12:07Just like I renamed the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America.
12:11I declare 2026 will stay 2025.
12:16Why change it?
12:17What's the difference between Father Time and Baby New Year?
12:20One can barely talk or walk and wears a diaper.
12:23And the other is Baby New Year.
12:25He's a disaster.
12:26And so I signed a new executive order.
12:29The It is still 2025 executive order.
12:34Signed by me or by myself some beautiful letters.
12:37It's not writing.
12:37They tell me.
12:38It's calligraphy is the correct word.
12:41Time is a hoax put upon us by Big Clock.
12:44And we won't fall for it anymore.
12:46It will now be 2025 for the next year and maybe the year after that.
12:51And perhaps forever, to be frank.
12:53Because then it will also always be my second term.
12:56And I will always be president.
12:58So it's 2025 no matter what anyone says.
13:01And ICE is coming for Baby New Year.
13:03So happy year.
13:05Just year.
13:06Happy year.
13:12International diplomacy was crucial in 2025.
13:15Our next award is for Canadian Diplomat of the Year.
13:19The runners-up were Alberta Premier Danielle Smith.
13:22Who went to Mar-a-Lago with the intention of becoming the first governor of Alberta.
13:27And raised the question, can you have a meeting of the minds with no minds present?
13:33Next, Mike Myers for infiltrating American media to unleash our most potent rallying cry.
13:40Still silent about the trade war?
13:42Garth.
13:42But the 22E for Canadian Diplomat of the Year has to go to our loudest, brashest one, Doug
13:50Ford, who reanimated the corpse of Ronald Reagan in an explosive ad that fully stopped Trump
13:57from negotiating with us.
13:59And of course, Ford launched the most iconic Canadian hat since Molson put a free one in
14:04a 2-4.
14:05Doug couldn't be here to accept the award, but we sent it to him along with a bottle of
14:11Crown Royal.
14:12Hopefully, he enjoyed it.
14:14So, this is what I think about Crown Royal.
14:17That's what they could do.
14:19And I think everyone else should do the same thing.
14:21Every New Year's Day, thousands of Canadians will jump into a freezing body of water.
14:35And no, they're not fleeing the authorities or in a suicide cult.
14:39These freaks do it for fun.
14:41Polar plunges are getting huge, which is why my boss asked me to do one for the show.
14:47I said yes, because I didn't read the email that closely.
14:52No, wait.
14:53No, no.
14:54No, no, no, no, no.
14:55Can I get a doctor's note to get out of a polar plunge?
14:59Uh, not without a valid medical reason, Dan.
15:01No, man.
15:02This is like, we can turn the cameras off, but I just need you to be cool with me.
15:07You're perfectly fit for doing a polar plunge.
15:11If I was going to do this, I would need help from some professional plungers.
15:15The toughest, roughest people in the Halifax metro area.
15:20Dan!
15:21Hello.
15:23Who are you?
15:24We're the Rainbow Haven Mermaids.
15:26We are about to jump into the Atlantic Ocean in the middle of winter.
15:31Uh, why?
15:33Why?
15:34It's good for your soul.
15:35It's good for your body.
15:36It just makes you feel so much better.
15:38This is the worst thing the show has ever made me do.
15:41That's enough talk.
15:43Let's get in the ocean.
15:44Oh, no.
15:46No, no, no, no.
15:48We can wait.
15:49We can wait.
15:49We can wait.
16:15If everything hurts, what wouldn't I give for a riptide to just drag me under right now?
16:22I don't usually recommend this, but I think if we all pee at the same time, we can get the temperature up a little bit.
16:29You just turned in red. Wait till you turn blue.
16:32Oh, yeah.
16:33Oh, that's reassuring.
16:35As the hypothermia caused my brain to shut down, I realized something.
16:38A new year is a time to say yes to things that scare you, whether it's new experiences,
16:42or new aquatic parasites, or new temperatures you didn't think were scientifically possible.
16:47Okay, we did it!
16:50So for everyone taking a plunge into the unknown, Happy New Year, and I'll see you in the emergency room.
16:55For 22 Minutes, I'm Dan Dillebeau.
17:01Our next award is for Worst Comeback of the Year.
17:04Honorable Mention goes to Trump 2.0.
17:06We thought no comeback would be so painful as the re-inauguration of old spotty hand prosciutto neck.
17:13But then we saw the Dodgers come back in the ninth inning of Game 7.
17:16We'd have a joke here, but too soon.
17:19This year saw one comeback that really shouldn't have happened.
17:22The winner for Worst Comeback of 2025 is...
17:26Measles! Get on up here, Measles!
17:28Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you! Thank you!
17:34Thank you. You've made an old disease very happy.
17:38See you at the after party. I'll be mingling.
17:45Right this way.
17:50We're saying goodbye to 2025, and though a lot of people are saying good riddance, it wasn't all bad.
17:55I'm asking Canadians what moments they most want to relive from 2025.
17:59Jeez, yeah, the elbows up thing was great.
18:02Elbows up?
18:03Yeah.
18:04Experiencing snow and experiencing autumn, spring, winter.
18:08Moving in with my partner. I think that was a really good highlight of the year.
18:11Congratulations!
18:13Also moving in with his partner.
18:16Game 7 of the World Series.
18:18Or Game 6.
18:19Maybe Game 5.
18:21I just came back from Japan.
18:23Oh!
18:24I wouldn't mind doing that again.
18:25I want to relive the moment that the life of a showgirl came out.
18:29Me and my friend went on a great kayaking trip on the ocean.
18:31Being with my friends, so sharing those memories with them.
18:34Honestly, same with me, reliving all the moments with my best friends.
18:382025 had the power of friendship.
18:41We asked some friends around the country what they thought of 2025.
18:44If I could relive any moment of 2025, it would be watching my mom try skeleton for the first time.
18:49Blue Jays run through September and October.
18:51I know it's not one moment, but it was pretty amazing watching those guys play.
18:55How about, yes, summertime, diving in the lake at night, and looking up at the stars.
19:01Yeah, I would have that again, please.
19:05When that phone call comes to say, you got a season three and we're going to shoot on the state.
19:12I wish I had one of those calls every day, actually.
19:14It would definitely be getting my first hole in one at golf.
19:18I even still got the ball.
19:20The last shot to win the 2025 Montana's Briar and extending rate to when I got to celebrate and hug my wife and kids.
19:27Some of my most cherished moments are when I get to bring my 10-year-old daughter Cassidy with me to work and show her how we're creating opportunities and empowering women and girls across the country.
19:37The one week of memes that we got from the Coldplay Kiss Cam.
19:41Absolutely iconic.
19:43At the Badlands Amphitheatre, in Drumheller, surrounded by the hoodoos, listening to the amazing voice of good Alberta girl, Jan Arden.
19:52Just the excitement of being able to represent Canada and get gold back to back years.
19:56Headlining Scotiabank Arena and just celebrating that night with all our friends and family.
20:01It was the best night ever.
20:02Hallelujah.
20:03Beholding my older son, Arlie, as he wept after the Jays lost game seven.
20:08And with that hug, I welcomed him into what it is to be a Toronto sportsman.
20:13Any moment other than election.
20:19Oh, our Spotify raps just got released.
20:22Who's your most listened to artist?
20:23Please don't be Coldplay.
20:24Please don't be Coldplay.
20:25Coldplay.
20:26I got Tabrida Carpenter.
20:28I'm basic.
20:29I knew it.
20:3040,000 minutes of music and all of it?
20:32Zav.
20:33Who's Zav?
20:34You don't know Zav?
20:36Like Xavier Trudeau?
20:38Like former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's son?
20:41To me, he's actually Xavier Trudeau's father, but yes.
20:44Have you listened to the new album?
20:45No.
20:46Just the old stuff then?
20:47None of the stuff.
20:48You guys have to get on board.
20:49Zav is next up.
20:50Zav is next up.
20:51Zav is not next up.
20:52What does he sound like?
20:53He's like The Weeknd if The Weeknd was Justin Trudeau's son.
20:55Listen.
20:56She said Zav you better bang me up.
20:57If you wish in time you better bang me up.
20:59Go Zav.
21:00Go get a Zav.
21:01Go get a Zav.
21:02Stop grinding to Zav.
21:03If you want like the true Zav listening experience.
21:06We don't.
21:07Then you have to see him live.
21:08I saw him live last month and it was lit tea.
21:10Everyone was there.
21:11Melanie Jolie, Francois Philippe Champagne, Mark Miller.
21:16Cabinet ministers were there.
21:17And Chrystia Freeland's nephew is producing his next album.
21:20Is this a tax write off thing or something?
21:22Oh my god.
21:23Okay, because I'm his number one fan, I get a personalized message from him.
21:27Hey girl, it's Zav.
21:28Thank you for being my number one fan.
21:30Can you come pick me up at the Bayshore shopping center?
21:33I'm coming Zav!
21:35I'm so sorry.
21:36Wow.
21:37I know.
21:38Stop humming Zav.
21:42It's not catchy though.
21:44Some holiday traditions haven't changed since you were a kid.
21:51Like a cold glass of eggnog.
21:54And some traditions are a little newer.
21:57Like a warm shot of Bailey's Irish cream.
22:00So this holiday season, add a little Bailey's to your eggnog.
22:06And make some new memories with the ones you love.
22:09Turn your Christmas day into an unforgettable Christmas night.
22:14Because what's eggnog without a splash of Bailey's?
22:18God, sorry.
22:19And if you're making one, why not make...
22:25Why not make two?
22:26I've actually had three.
22:28Yeah, I've had three.
22:29I've had three as well.
22:30Yeah.
22:31Do you think I might actually be lactose intolerant?
22:34Yeah, I think I might be lactose intolerant too.
22:36And we really just maxed out on milk and green, didn't we?
22:40Yeah.
22:41Why do we do this to ourselves?
22:43Sorry.
22:44Are we gonna be like this forever?
22:45I don't know.
22:46I don't know.
22:47Oh, God.
22:48I gotta go.
22:49Bailey's an eggnog.
22:52Hey, maybe one of you should sleep on the couch tonight.
22:552025 was a year of discovery for the country.
23:08We discovered we can vacation in Canada.
23:11Who needs Disney World when you can see
23:13the world's largest acts in Nacklewick, New Brunswick?
23:17We discovered what made in Canada really means.
23:20It means designed in Canada, produced in Vietnam,
23:24packaged in Malaysia, delivered by Amazon,
23:27and then eaten over the sink.
23:29But no one discovered more this year than Pierre Polyev.
23:33He discovered there's no such thing as a comfortable lead.
23:36He discovered a new writing.
23:39He even discovered 22 minutes.
23:41And just in time for the press gallery dinner,
23:43it seems he discovered a sense of humor.
23:46The Discovery Award for 2025 goes to Pierre Polyev.
23:50Congratulations.
23:51Thank you for this hour is 22 minutes for this beautiful award,
23:56and a special thanks to Timu Mi.
23:59I appreciate witty and sharp political comedy.
24:03And whatever it is that you do.
24:052025 was a big year of discovery for us all, wasn't it?
24:09I discovered my sense of humor.
24:11Your very own Chris Wilson discovered that he could survive for 90 minutes
24:14in a basement bank vault with me,
24:17which was a direct violation of the United Nations Convention against torture.
24:23You know, I thought of reciprocating this award by giving you one as well,
24:26but with grocery prices so madly out of control,
24:30I decided to donate to the local food bank in your honor instead.
24:34Tis, after all, the season for giving.
24:37And so I announce a gift for you for 2026.
24:41I will be giving you lots more material to work with.
24:43God knows you need it.
24:45So Happy New Year. Bonne année à tous.
24:48Si, unlike some people, I can speak a little French.
24:55Thank you so much for coming to the party, Eddie.
24:57A lot of people.
24:58Oh, yeah. You can just throw your jacket on the pile.
25:00Yeah.
25:01I guess I'll just toss it on the pile.
25:03Yeah.
25:04Oh, jeez Louise.
25:06Is there a person in there?
25:07Hey gang, down here.
25:08So short story long, I showed up to the party way too early.
25:12Maximum tanked.
25:14So I had to pass out on the old Tempur-Pedic
25:16and then everyone just assumed I was the pile of codes.
25:19You really are giving a pile of codes.
25:21Thank you. That's so nice, man.
25:23And now naturally everyone's just tossing their Patagonias on top of me.
25:26So, uh, looks like I'm ringing in the new year with the coats, baby.
25:31Oh, hey, girl.
25:32Oh, load it up, buttercup.
25:34Honestly, it feels like Shiatsu massage down here.
25:36Well, I'll help you get out of here.
25:37No, no. Don't move the coats.
25:39You serious?
25:40Yeah, you move the coats and then I gotta join the party.
25:43I gotta get all social, be more present.
25:45Yeah.
25:46This way, you know, I'm at the party, but I'm also in bed.
25:49So it's like the best of both worlds.
25:51You gotta punch through some L.O. beans and get my phone arm free
25:54and then I'm cooking with gas.
25:56Hey, Roz.
25:57Whoa, is that a parker?
25:58Are you parking a Ford F-150 on my sternum?
26:01It's just a little code humor for you guys.
26:04Oh, Houston, we got a phone arm.
26:07Well, um, if you're good, I might just go join the party.
26:11Oh, yeah.
26:12Come on, guys.
26:13We're about to share personal highlights from the year that was.
26:17It will be very moving.
26:23I'm gonna get in the coats.
26:24I might join the Japanese here.
26:25Come on, guys.
26:26Get on in.
26:27Get into the pile of coats.
26:28Sounds awesome.
26:29It's New Year's Eve and you need some tips.
26:36Welcome to Chris's New Year's Eve tips.
26:40Hi, and welcome to Chris's New Year's Eve tips.
26:43Today on the show, we're...
26:44Oh, I'm Chris, by the way.
26:46Today on the show, we're talking opening champagne.
26:50We've all seen it.
26:51It's New Year's Eve and someone opens up a bottle of champagne with a sword.
26:56And you think, I wish I could do that.
26:58How'd he do that?
26:59Well, I'm here to tell you, you can do that.
27:03It's so easy.
27:04And most importantly, it's super safe.
27:07To open a champagne bottle with a sword, simply take your champagne,
27:11tuck it firmly underneath your arm, just like so.
27:15Next, we're gonna grab our sword without looking.
27:17Hold it firmly with your hand and...
27:19Oh, my God!
27:21Oh, my God!
27:22Ah!
27:23Oh, that's so much blood!
27:24Oh, this sucks so much!
27:27Sorry about that.
27:28What you're gonna wanna do is grab the sword by the handle.
27:33Then you're gonna take the champagne and tuck it tightly under your arm.
27:37Like, oh!
27:38Oh, my God!
27:40Oh, shoot!
27:42Oh!
27:43Opening up a champagne bottle with a sword is stupid.
27:47And frankly, quite dangerous.
27:49So let's open up the champagne the normal way.
27:53Grab your champagne.
27:54Hold it firmly under your arm.
27:56Remove the foil.
27:58Remove the cage.
27:59And now you're gonna wanna pull slowly up on the cord.
28:03One good pull.
28:05One good.
28:06One good.
28:07One good.
28:08Oh!
28:09Oh!
28:10Oh!
28:11What?!
28:12Why?!
28:13Oh, shoot!
28:14Oh!
28:15Shoot!
28:16Okay, so I'm gonna be guiding this man through opening a bottle of champagne.
28:26What you're gonna do is grab the champagne and tuck it under your arm.
28:29Yep.
28:30You're gonna remove the foil.
28:32Now you're gonna wanna remove the cage.
28:34Yep.
28:35A little faster, though.
28:36Now you're going to slowly pull the cork out.
28:39Just twist.
28:40Okay, okay.
28:41Yep.
28:42Just a little faster, though.
28:43And then let me do it.
28:44Just let me do it.
28:45Ah!
28:46Ah!
28:47Ah!
28:48Ah!
28:49Ah!
28:50Ah!
28:51Ah!
28:52Ah!
28:53I just want to show people how to have a Happy New Year's.
28:58All right, this is my last bottle and we all know what's gonna happen now.
29:02So let me just demonstrate the steps and then we can all go home.
29:04Take off the foil.
29:07Remove the cage.
29:09Slowly twist.
29:11Pop.
29:12And...
29:15Okay.
29:16This one actually might be a little bit flat.
29:19That's what happened there.
29:20But that's how you do it.
29:21So, uh, Happy New Year.
29:24Nothing more to say.
29:25Uh, thanks for watching.
29:28So, yeah.
29:29I guess we'll just, uh, clean up.
29:30If you want to take this and the other bottles and put them in recycling.
29:33And then, um, yeah, I'll take the sword and...
29:35Oh!
29:36Oh!
29:37Oh!
29:38Oh!
29:45Great party, guys.
29:46I'm gonna head out.
29:49Just gonna grab these.
29:50Well, well, well, well.
29:51Looks like Kevin here is leaving the party.
29:52You wouldn't happen to be leaving with the beers that you brought to the party.
29:53Would you, Kevin?
29:54Oh, uh, I bought these.
29:55I just didn't finish them.
29:56Oh, we bought them.
29:57Heh.
29:58That's funny.
29:59Yeah.
30:00That's funny to me too.
30:01Because they're at the party now.
30:02Which means they belong to the party.
30:03What?
30:04Yeah, you see, that's the rules of a party.
30:06You bring it to the party, you leave it at the party.
30:08That's the rules.
30:09Think of it as a donation.
30:10But they're mine.
30:11Why can't I take them?
30:12Because it's cheap, Kevin!
30:13Larry!
30:14Larry!
30:15Stop yelling.
30:16You're scaring me.
30:17It's all right, babe.
30:18We're just having a conversation, aren't we?
30:20Yeah?
30:21Wait.
30:22Is Kevin taking his extra beers from the fridge?
30:24Oh, my God, Kevin, you're so freakin' cheap.
30:26You broke the party rules.
30:27And now you've gone and gone and gone.
30:29I'm gone and gone.
30:30I'm gone.
30:31I'm gone.
30:32I'm gone.
30:33I'm gone.
30:34I'm gone.
30:35I'm gone.
30:36I'm gone.
30:37I'm gone.
30:38I'm gone.
30:39I'm gone.
30:40I'm gone.
30:41I'm gone.
30:42I'm gone.
30:43I'm gone.
30:44I'm gone.
30:45I'm gone.
30:46I'm gone.
30:47You can upset my wife.
30:48I'm upset.
30:49It's a dirty thing to do.
30:51Why the big deal?
30:52It's just four beers.
30:53Did you not partake in the offerings, Kevin?
30:56He partook.
30:57I saw him partook.
30:58Then what you should do is par-leave the beer.
31:01A lot of people brought a lot of things.
31:04Except ice, and that's been a bit of an issue.
31:06You drank of the communal punch.
31:09You ate four shrimp from my ring.
31:13It's three, max.
31:14You counting my shrimp?
31:16You over-shrimped.
31:17So now I gotta know how you could go and do something like this to such gracious hosts
31:22as me and my wife.
31:24We're very gracious.
31:25It's a party foul, Kevin.
31:27Now talk.
31:28Okay, I'm cheap.
31:29Is that what you want me to say?
31:30I'm a cheap person.
31:31Thank you, Kevin.
31:33I admire a man who can admit when he's wrong.
31:38You're still gonna take them, aren't you?
31:39I mean, I bought them.
31:40Why are people like this?
31:41You're sick.
31:42Why are people like this?
31:43Just leave what you brought.
31:44Happy New Year.
31:45A new year starts tomorrow and no one knows what it's gonna bring.
31:52So I'm asking Canadians what their hopes and dreams are for 2026.
31:53Ooh.
31:54Maybe a new cat.
31:55Maybe another cat.
31:56Maybe a third cat.
31:57A third cat?
31:58Yeah.
31:59A third cat?
32:00Yeah.
32:01Scaying and exploring our country and yeah, yeah.
32:02Maybe you're gonna shred the gnar, hey?
32:03Yeah.
32:04Whatever that is.
32:05I don't know.
32:06I think if we could just talk to each other a little bit more and compromise.
32:09Be more positive.
32:10Yeah.
32:11For 2026.
32:12Yeah.
32:13Yeah.
32:14Yeah.
32:15Yeah.
32:16Yeah.
32:17Yeah.
32:18Yeah.
32:19Yeah.
32:20Yeah.
32:21Yeah.
32:22Yeah.
32:23Yeah.
32:24Yeah.
32:25Yeah.
32:26Yeah.
32:27Yeah.
32:28Yeah.
32:29Yeah.
32:30I would say solidarity.
32:31I really hope that we can really connect and just really find and dig deep as to what
32:35makes us the greatest country in the world.
32:38Bring on 2026.
32:39You heard Canadians.
32:41This year we're hoping for world peace, unity and a Canadian team to win a championship.
32:46We asked some notable Canadians around the country, what are your hopes for 2026?
32:502026 is an Olympic year and my wish is for Team Canada.
32:53Go Canada.
32:54Go.
32:55Bring home the gold.
32:56Experience the Toronto Temple live.
32:58We're Canada's team.
32:59Come to a game.
33:00I wish everyone happy holidays.
33:02Merry Christmas.
33:03Happy New Year.
33:04And perhaps no NYU between the federal government and Alberta.
33:07Take a moment to take a look around you and spend a bit more time with art that is made
33:11in this country.
33:12Canada is beautiful, stunning and Canadians are so diverse, so amazing.
33:17The opportunity to just explore our own country.
33:20And to see one another going up and down the aisles of the grocery stores looking for those
33:24made in Canada labels.
33:25To be open and compassionate and always try and seek out the good in each other.
33:30Continue to forge our own identity, not just in reaction to our neighbours, but as the incredible nation that we are.
33:39I'd like to see more elbows up.
33:45It's good for the lats and the delts.
33:48But most of all, love yourself today.
33:52Irish Canadians many proud moments watching Canadian Paralympians performing at their best in Milan 14, 2026.
34:00Cheers to Canada.
34:06And now it's time to present the biggest award of the night.
34:09The 22-y Lifetime Achievement Award for making our jobs easier.
34:14And there's only one person in the country this could go to.
34:17Justin Trudeau.
34:19I'm not rid of you yet.
34:22I can't quit you.
34:23Former Prime Minister, you've done so much for comedy in this country.
34:29No one has generated more headlines or, no offence, done stupider things than you.
34:35From your early work of having great hair and a free musketeer's goatee, planking and just wandering the country shirtless,
34:43to your later work of being the cringiest dad at a Taylor Swift concert and doing a full Canada's Got Talent at the Queen's funeral or wearing jeans on a yacht.
34:53You've generated so many punchlines and we cannot thank you enough.
34:58So we'd like to present you with this Lifetime Achievement Award.
35:02Move.
35:04Thank you for recognizing that every misstep, every headline, every pair of socks was all about supporting the CBC,
35:12supporting Canadian comedy and supporting your great show, Royal Canadian Air Force.
35:16That's in 22 minutes.
35:18I stopped watching when Rick left.
35:20This is an award that I'm pleased to have, that I'm honored to display.
35:27I seem to have misplaced it already.
35:29But I take it in honor of this, your final episode.
35:33Final?
35:35And now, a message from Prime Minister Mark Carney.
35:43Oh, hi, Canada.
35:48Apologies.
35:49You caught me in my pajamas.
35:55Happy New Year.
35:56And more importantly, happy end of Q4 to all.
36:002025 was a big year.
36:02Canadians did the smartest thing they have ever done.
36:05Elected me.
36:06In a world of little boys, you chose a big daddy.
36:11And you made a lot of sacrifices this year.
36:14Like American booze or your cute little manufacturing jobs.
36:18But I sacrificed too.
36:20Do you know how much a public servant makes?
36:23I'm living paycheck to 400K paycheck.
36:25400K!
36:26What even is that?
36:28It's barely worth sending offshore.
36:31Canada, look at you all.
36:34Cozy, by the fire.
36:35Full of fruitcake and, uh, Ferrero... Ferrero Roche...
36:41Chocolates.
36:42You're eating chocolates.
36:44How I wish I could be there to tell you in person,
36:48Christmas was a week ago.
36:50Put on a hard hat and get back to work.
36:52And hop on that Peloton while you're at it.
36:54We need you people in shape.
36:55Those minds aren't going to dig themselves.
36:57Now, it's also that time of year when we look for ways to improve ourselves.
37:02So let me briefly look inward for any character flaws.
37:06Scan completed.
37:08Undetected.
37:09But I have a resolution for you, Canada.
37:14A reso-ution, if you will.
37:16Love thy neighbor.
37:18Especially if they're trying to build a pipeline through your living room.
37:21Are you listening, BC?
37:23Oh, another virtue is forgiveness.
37:26And I forgive you for not giving me the majority I asked you so nicely for.
37:31But it's not too late.
37:32Call your Conservative MP, tell them to cross the floor and dive right in.
37:36The water's exactly the same.
37:38Because I am your humble, hockey-playing, good old boy, Prime Minister.
37:43And as soon as I get one more MP, my power will be absolute and unchecked.
37:48Fun!
37:50So, in conclusion, Happy New Year and Joyeux Bon Nouvelle Year, French.
37:56Oh, and finally, a message for Donald J. Trump.
38:02Listen here, Mr. President.
38:04Please come back to the table.
38:06We'll give you a made-up peace prize.
38:08Oh, or maybe the Grey Cup.
38:10And I promise I won't put my elbows on the table.
38:13I don't even have elbows.
38:14What are these noodles?
38:15What are they?
38:16What are they?
38:17Please.
38:18Please.
38:34What?
38:37Oh, ow!
38:39Good morning, and welcome to Ow! New Year's Day.
38:43It's the annual game show where our contestant has to start a brand new year
38:47feeling the worst she's ever felt.
38:50I'm feeling sick.
38:52This year's contestant is Rachel.
38:54She's a 33-year-old mother of two who drank 15 tequila shots before 11 PM last night.
39:01Let's begin.
39:02Now remember, Rachel, some of these tasks are gonna feel like the hardest thing you've ever done in your life
39:08Okay, can I just lie here for a second? Rachel, you have 30 seconds to touch the floor with your feet
39:14What? Find the floor and put your feet on it. Your 30 seconds starts now
39:21That's the ceiling. I thought I was walking. No, you're not. Feet on the floor, Rachel
39:27No, those are your hands. You can do it. And
39:32Excellent job. Incredible work, Rachel. Now focus up because it's time to drink the glass of water you put beside your bed
39:39I can't
39:40Dehydration is no joke, Rachel. Water tastes so bad when you're hungover
39:44shouldn't
39:46Shouldn't smell bad
39:48It shouldn't
39:53Bet that would have done a lot more good before 11 p.m. Last night
39:56You don't have to rub it in your final task to win the jackpot is open your phone
40:01And see who you texted last night
40:03What? Nah, I'm kidding
40:05It's not really the first hangover of the year without crippling shame
40:10Who did you text? And what did you say?
40:12Oh my god, I texted my boss that he's like a father figure to me. Ugh!
40:17Oh my god, I'm pathetic
40:19Ding ding! That's correct. You've won this year's edition of OW! New Year's Day
40:25What do I win?
40:26You get to watch the kids today. I'm way too hungover
40:30I'm way too hungover
40:32Ugh
40:37All right, Canada, raise your glasses if you have them
40:41We'd like to propose a toast
40:43In 2026, may the price of your groceries never inflate
40:47May your nation be sovereign, never a state
40:50May the doctor you need be always on call
40:53May your surgery not be performed in the hall
40:56May your work be fulfilling, your wages be high
40:59May your livelihood not be replaced by AI
41:02May our oceans not rise and our forests not burn
41:05May the rich pay their taxes on the money they earn
41:08May a cup overflow with love and joy in it
41:11And may your hour always have 22 minutes
41:15Cheers!
41:18Now please enjoy Adam Baldwin
41:20Now please enjoy Adam Baldwin
41:25Should old acquaintance be forgot
41:33And never brought to mind
41:39Should old acquaintance be forgot
41:46In the days of Auld Lang Syne
41:51For Auld Lang Syne, my dear
41:58For Auld Lang Syne
42:04We'll take a cup of kindness
42:07We'll take a cup of kindness
42:11Yes, oh Lord Lang Syne
42:17And surely you have brought your cup
42:23And surely I'll have mine
42:29We'll take a cup of kindness
42:34Yes, for Auld Lang Syne
42:39For Auld Lang Syne
42:42For Auld Lang Syne, my dear
42:47For Auld Lang Syne
42:50We'll take a cup of kindness
43:00Yes, for Auld Lang Syne
43:05We'll take a cup of kindness
43:11Yes, for Auld Lang Syne
43:15For Auld Lang Syne
43:20That's the way we saw the world in 2025
43:23Thanks for watching
43:24And happy new year
43:25Keep tuning in Tuesday nights at 8 on CBC TV
43:28Or stream us anytime on CBC Gem
43:30Goodnight
43:31Goodnight
43:32Goodnight
43:33Yeah, yeah, yeah
43:38Alex Gia
43:39Here's the high building
43:44Hello, we're going to go up
43:45Here we are
43:47Yeah, yeah
43:48Here we go
43:50Here we go
43:51Here we go
43:53What guest
43:54Here looks right
43:55Here we are
43:56Here we go
43:57Here we move
44:00You
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