Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 8 minutes ago

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Music
00:04Music
00:08Music
00:12Music
00:18Music
00:20Music
00:22Music
00:32Music
00:36Excuse me
00:50You're telling me that the woman who loves to sing at any opportunity, who organises drag nights and bingo nights and all that stuff, who loves being centre of attention, all of a sudden it's her birthday and she doesn't want no fuck.
01:04I want in the mood.
01:06What you talking about? You're always in the mood. You are the mood.
01:13Well it's not so jazz hands when you realise.
01:16When you realise what?
01:18My life's not exactly what I thought it'd be, alright.
01:24At 49 in the remix, so I didn't really want a fuck.
01:28Right. Is this because you've not got a fella?
01:30No.
01:32It's not just that.
01:36I love my life, but sometimes...
01:40Bit lonely.
01:42Bob on.
01:44Bob on.
01:46Right.
01:48Well, listen.
01:50I know that your life might not be where you think it should be right now, but I'll let me tell you, you are fantastic.
01:56And I'm telling you now, you've made my life a hundred times better.
02:04May I have this dance?
02:10Come on, Karl.
02:12Get your cake, Izzy!
02:16Now, that cake looks very, very heavy.
02:18It's a very good job that you've got such lovely muscly arms.
02:21Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!
02:23Oh, you've got very muscly arms, too, as well, that can help play.
02:27Oh, you and Todd have saved the day.
02:29Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.
02:31And there is Todd.
02:32Oh, you know, he's a bit of a light, the way he's gone for a light...
02:35What? He's out there, anything to drink.
02:38Well, that's my point, exactly.
02:40What, so he just wanted to go home?
02:42Oh!
02:43Left without saying his goodbyes.
02:44Oh, listen, don't worry about goodbyes.
02:46You say them all the time.
02:47Don't you worry, little Ed, about Todd.
02:49Oh, Sally Spectacular!
02:50Are you dancing?
02:51No!
02:52Cos I am asking!
02:54Move!
02:56Over in!
02:58Why would he cheat on you?
03:00There's no-one fitter than you, except me, and it's not me.
03:06So go on, then.
03:08Who is she?
03:09Carl's latest.
03:16It's James.
03:21James?
03:22James Bailey?
03:28I can't believe this.
03:30James, that sneaky little skank!
03:32Carl's the skank.
03:33You blew up your life for him.
03:38Oh, thanks for the reminder.
03:40What am I going to do, Tris?
03:42Well, you can stop being such a sap.
03:45And you had come to the right place for sympathy.
03:48No, I mean it, Abby.
03:50Remember who you are.
03:53Oh, you're right.
03:54What am I doing here?
03:55I should be chucking Carl's clothes out the window, or, I don't know, cutting up his best jacket.
04:00No, that's amateur.
04:01You're smarter than that.
04:03I'm not, though, am I?
04:05We were putting money aside for our new life in flaming Dusseldorf, and I'm putting groceries on credit cards while he's copping off with anyone he likes.
04:17Right, so he's got a nice little nest egg, has he, for Germany?
04:23A few grand.
04:24Be a shame if that went missing.
04:28What, you reckon I should rob it?
04:31Pay your debts off, buy a fabulous pair of shoes, and walk all over him, fleece him!
04:38I knew there was a reason you and me were mates.
04:41Do not shed a single tear over him again, okay? Do you hear me?
04:45Damn right.
04:47Right, I've got to go, cos, erm, I've got some stuff to do.
04:57Did you not think to ask me first?
04:59I wasn't gonna see my mum out in the street, was I?
05:02She's not gonna be happy until I'm in the gutter.
05:04Oh, that's not true. You two just clash. Christmas didn't do any good, either.
05:07That was all her doing.
05:09Oh, I know, but...
05:11Babe, she hates my guts.
05:13She doesn't.
05:15Eva, take us upstairs, would you?
05:18Today, if it's not too much trouble.
05:20It is, actually. You'll have to do it yourself.
05:22Carefully don't break your neck on the way up.
05:24Well, I'm surprised that hasn't happened to you in those trashy heels.
05:28Alright, enough.
05:30This is our home.
05:31Exactly.
05:32No, I mean all of ours, so can we please just get along?
05:37She hasn't even said sorry.
05:39Well, I am sorry. I'm sorry you feel so aggrieved.
05:43Babe, that is not an apology.
05:45That's the best you're gonna get.
05:47Now, can we just move forward, please?
05:49I'll do a spot of cleaning.
05:51Stay to the place.
05:52Right, seriously.
05:54Babe, babe, babe, go on.
05:55So, how is university for the very, very, very mature student?
06:05Oh, well, you know me.
06:07Potential barrister.
06:09Elderly, vagrant, pub, landlady.
06:11I treat everyone the same.
06:13It'd be an awful pity if you got barred, wouldn't it?
06:17I thought you were studying law, not medicine.
06:21If you must know, this is all about my grandson's accident.
06:25Well, his recovery from the hit and run.
06:28Mystery of the sanctuary?
06:30I'd like you to know that this is my life.
06:32It's not some cheap TV thriller.
06:35Oh, the drama of you.
06:37Look at that.
06:40He's still alive, isn't he?
06:41And on the mend?
06:42Well, he would be.
06:44If he went to his physio, if he weren't too scared, the stubborn ox.
06:48And he doesn't listen to a word you say.
06:50Maybe it's the way you say it.
06:52Maybe he's just a stubborn ox who needs to apologize.
06:56Sometimes you have to.
06:58With family.
06:59You see, if I'd cancelled the sparrow, I would have lost my hefty deposit, you know.
07:09Who is this bloke, any roadie?
07:12Andrew Scott.
07:13Well, he's an amazing actor that me and Todd adore.
07:16But I get that you didn't want to lose your deposit, so it's fine.
07:19Can you take someone else?
07:21Well, it was kind of more for Todd than me.
07:23But, erm, yeah, I'm sure I could find someone.
07:25Hey, I've just found this in Todd's jacket.
07:29Oh, hey, hey, summer.
07:30I let the authorities, they found my boyfriend's bone in his jacket.
07:33No, I mean, they need it.
07:35Won't they? I'm gonna drop it on over to him.
07:37Oh, Billy, he's sleeping off the air.
07:38He don't need to be playing candid crush.
07:40What if he needs to contact us?
07:42No, he won't.
07:43Look, put it back and I'll reunite it with him when I get home.
07:46Alright.
07:48Guys, guys, the cake is up.
07:51Oh!
07:52Back home!
08:03Sorry!
08:04This hotel website's really basic.
08:21There's barely any reviews.
08:23Why are you still banging on about this?
08:25Because it doesn't add up.
08:26It's like a front or something.
08:28But when you spoke to somebody on the phone before,
08:30you spoke to an actual human and they said that Carla was staying there.
08:33Yeah, but when I try and book it, look,
08:36it doesn't let me go any further.
08:39Well, then, the website designer needs sacking.
08:42Yeah, but also when I look at maps,
08:44it's a building site.
08:47Oh, yeah, but I mean, maps, they're never, like, fully up to date, are they?
08:52I mean, it's probably just a bit behind or something.
08:54Do you remember when we went to that boutique hotel in Portugal
08:57and it was only, like, half built?
08:59Yeah, I do.
09:00She was, like, ten.
09:01So it was really exciting.
09:02I was like, if I don't laugh, I'm gonna cry.
09:04I can't imagine Carla seeing the funny side then.
09:06No.
09:07No, I think if it turns out to be a dud hotel,
09:09then she's gonna chew my ear off and complaining about it when she gets back.
09:12So you reckon I'm making something out of nothing?
09:16I'm sure she's by the pool, just topping up the ten
09:19and eyeing up the talent.
09:21Oh.
09:24Don't make a sound.
09:26Oh, I'll knock you out proper this time.
09:28Please just let me go.
09:30Oh, God, you talk like I'm some kind of monster,
09:32but I came back to give you your kidney meds
09:33and look what you did to me.
09:36Oh.
09:38You didn't have to do that.
09:39It really hurts.
09:40You got me locked up in a coven and you're the victim.
09:45It is what it is.
09:47Like, yeah, it's not ideal, but I didn't want you to suffer,
09:50which is why I brought your meds.
09:52You can sing for these now.
09:54No, no, Becky.
09:56Please, I need them.
09:57No.
09:59You know Lisa's gonna figure out who you really are.
10:06Lisa and me know each other inside out.
10:08And you can't mess with that.
10:11Even though you tried.
10:13You're so damned.
10:15I don't care what you think.
10:16Cause pretty soon, you'll be out of the picture
10:18and I'll get my happy ending with my family.
10:21If you were gonna kill me, you'd have killed me by now.
10:28Look at you.
10:30You're shaking.
10:33You're not a killer.
10:35You've not got it, ain't you?
10:36No.
10:42But I don't have to, do I?
10:46Cause without meds, your body's gonna fail you pretty quickly.
10:49It's all I have to do.
10:56Put on this gag.
11:04Get up.
11:05And walk out the door.
11:08And walk out the door.
11:10I don't want it.
11:11I don't want it.
11:12Well, it's this or nothing, Betsy.
11:13Right, come on.
11:14Get the plates out, will you?
11:15OK, Mrs Crobs.
11:16Excuse me.
11:17Hello.
11:18We are dishing up stir-fry again.
11:20Are you hungry?
11:21Yeah, starved babes.
11:23I don't want it.
11:24I don't want it.
11:26Well, it's this or nothing, Betsy.
11:28Right, come on.
11:29Get the plates out, will you?
11:30OK, Mrs Crobs.
11:32Excuse me.
11:34Hello.
11:36We are dishing up stir-fry again.
11:38Are you hungry?
11:39Yeah, starved babes.
11:41I'm hungry.
11:42Are you hungry?
11:43Yeah, starved babes.
11:45Where have you been all day?
11:47I, um...
11:48Don't you make every question sound like a police interrogation?
11:51Betsy, I don't.
11:52I was just concerned.
11:54You know, you...
11:58You look like death.
11:59You all right?
12:01Oh, yeah.
12:02I'm just, you know...
12:04Oh, Mum!
12:05Oh, my God!
12:06Becky?
12:07Bex?
12:08Uh...
12:09Betsy, call the ambulance now.
12:10Yeah.
12:11Becky?
12:12What is it?
12:13Becky, can you hear me?
12:14Hey, you sit down.
12:15I'll get the glove.
12:17I should get attacked more often.
12:18Oh!
12:19Maybe I should invest in a little nurse's outfit, property, caring...
12:22Shh!
12:23Although I do like the sound of that.
12:25I'm just gonna go for a week.
12:26OK.
12:27Hiya.
12:28Collection for Osborne.
12:29Yeah, I'll just grab it.
12:32A nurse's outfit?
12:34Er, it was a joke.
12:36What are you even doing here?
12:37Well, maybe I just fancied a onion barzy.
12:41So you followed us.
12:42Us?
12:44Look, I'm sorry, Will.
12:45I know you've got to be missing out on a session, but...
12:48After what happened to Daniel, I need to be with him.
12:50Are you going on much better?
12:51I told you I wouldn't.
12:55All right?
12:56Yeah.
12:57Yeah, we're great.
12:58Er, Will's just disappointed that I've had to cancel our session tomorrow.
13:01Committed, aren't you?
13:02Completely.
13:03Yeah.
13:07Shall we go, then?
13:08Yeah, yeah.
13:09Come on, let's skedaddle.
13:12Bye, Will.
13:13Bye.
13:14I'll, erm...
13:15I'll message you about rescheduling.
13:18Layers!
13:24Hey, who's lazy now?
13:27Well, what do you want, a medal?
13:28Oh, come on.
13:29Don't pretend like you're not impressed.
13:32I knew you could do it, didn't I?
13:35The physio said he's never seen someone come so far in a session.
13:38Oh, you went to the physio in the end, did you?
13:41Er, yeah. Yeah, I did.
13:42Hmm.
13:43Was it helpful?
13:44Right, well, you can wipe that look off your face.
13:47Pity the physio didn't teach you to respect your elders.
13:51Well, it's a pity that my elders don't respect me as well.
13:54But, but, I probably shouldn't have spoke to you the way that I did.
14:00Well, I forgive you, all right?
14:02That's settled, what's for tea?
14:04Well, hang on.
14:06Have I been played here?
14:08Possibly.
14:09I got you to your session there, didn't I?
14:12Er, he went of his own accord.
14:14Oh, course he did.
14:15Course he did.
14:17Listen.
14:18Listen, you was right.
14:19I shall be trying harder.
14:22All right, don't ruin it for yourself.
14:35Straight to the recycling.
14:40What is it?
14:42Er...
14:45A few friends of my mum's reached out,
14:48saying how sorry they were.
14:51And I didn't know what to say.
14:54And I know that they wanted some heartfelt thing, but...
14:58You didn't know how?
15:00Did that make me a bad person?
15:03No.
15:05No, grief, it's...
15:07It's complicated, isn't it?
15:08Your deal are your deal.
15:10All the messages just made it real, you know?
15:12Like, that's it.
15:14Like, I'm never gonna see her again.
15:16And she's gone.
15:18It's done.
15:23She'll be proud of you, you know?
15:26Yeah, right.
15:28What?
15:30Following your heart?
15:32Saving your pennies to start a new life with a woman you love?
15:37And a kid.
15:40And we're almost there, aren't we?
15:42Soon we'll be able to buy our tickets.
15:45And leave all our ghosts behind.
15:48Yeah.
15:51And you don't sound too keen.
15:53You've not blown all the money, have you?
15:55Of course I haven't, and...
15:57I am keen, it's just...
15:59It's been a weird day, hasn't it?
16:00It's been a weird day, hasn't it?
16:01Yeah, it has.
16:05It does make you think, though.
16:08About the people you love.
16:12You'd do anything for him.
16:14Would you?
16:16What?
16:18Would you do anything for me?
16:21Of course I would.
16:23Abby, I don't know what I'd do without you.
16:26And you won't have to find out.
16:29Because you'd have to try very hard to get rid of me.
16:40Well, the doctor said it was concussion.
16:42And the wound on the back of your head.
16:44That doesn't happen without you noticing, does it?
16:46What's with her tone? She's in a hospital bed.
16:48Need to know what's going on, Betsy.
16:55What's happened, Mum?
17:00I didn't want to tell you, but...
17:02I was...
17:04I was attacked.
17:06Oh, my God.
17:08Curtis's lot.
17:12Why wouldn't that be the first thing out of your mouth?
17:14I wouldn't completely freak you out.
17:17It's me thereafter. You might have told me to do one.
17:19No, of course we wouldn't.
17:20Would we?
17:22No.
17:24Never.
17:26We can't just keep ignoring this.
17:29And you're right.
17:31They've obviously been keeping tabs on you
17:32and they clearly know where to find you.
17:34Yeah.
17:35We can't just wait around until they do her in.
17:37We need to leave, hide out, like, right now.
17:40Right, you panicking isn't helpful.
17:41Yeah, but we've already lost her once.
17:43Don't you think I know that?
17:45I don't want to lose her again, either.
17:46Yeah, then do something.
17:48Betsy, it's all right.
17:50I am going to be all right.
17:52Elisa, I have to go.
17:54I need to go to Spain, as soon as.
17:59We should ramp up the guest deals.
18:01People buy more when they think it won't last forever.
18:04Last forever? Nothing does.
18:06Right, Yoda.
18:08Why don't we try another cocktail night?
18:10Learn from our mistakes.
18:12You mean my mistakes?
18:13I didn't, actually.
18:15This is a learning curve for all of us.
18:17Oh, indeed it is.
18:19All right, what about a Luau?
18:21I could do pina coladas, Mai Tais,
18:23I could dust off my coconuts.
18:26Oh, I know, what about a Great Gatsby?
18:29Oh, I love the 1920s, and I make the best flapper.
18:32Just replace the F?
18:34You what?
18:35Oh, it was right there, I couldn't resist.
18:38Come on, babe.
18:40She's joking.
18:42Of course I am.
18:44Friends?
18:46Yeah.
18:48Can you two ladies get on?
18:50After all, we're family.
18:56Maybe I've been a bit oversensitive.
18:58But I think Ben's right.
19:01We are family.
19:03And I think if we try hard, we could be so happy here.
19:07My son is soft and forgiving.
19:10Traits that I don't possess.
19:12You aborted my grandchild.
19:15You lied to everyone.
19:17You, lady, will never be my family.
19:20Ah, what can I get you there?
19:22I'll get you there.
19:39Todd?
19:41Todd, where have you been?
19:42What are you doing?
19:44Your hands are like ice.
19:47You're dripping wet.
19:49Yeah, I just popped out to get some chips.
19:54I want to have some chips.
19:57Where are they then?
19:59What?
20:00The chips.
20:02Todd, your lips are turning blue.
20:04How long have you been out here?
20:06I feel the cold, don't I?
20:08I think you all said you'd had too much to drink.
20:11I did.
20:13No, you'd had one pint at most.
20:15You weren't drunk.
20:16I was.
20:18What?
20:19I saw how he seemed with you when you left.
20:24I've been insensitive and he'd caught me on it.
20:28That was all.
20:30So what, he'd locked you out the flat?
20:32No, of course not.
20:34Well, so then, can you explain to me why you're out here in the freezing cold, wet through with no coat on,
20:38looking like you're one icy drink away from hypothermia.
20:42It saved me the lies about the chips.
20:47All right, yeah, we did have a bit of a tiff at the party.
20:51And then I went for a walk just to clear my head.
20:56About what?
20:58My new business.
21:01All right, I'll go back home and everything will be all right.
21:05I...
21:07He just...
21:08He gets a bit...
21:10A bit what?
21:11He has...
21:16Certain...
21:18Expectations of...
21:20A relationship.
21:21That's all.
21:22And I'm...
21:24You know, I'm like a...
21:26Selfish.
21:28Inconsiderate.
21:29Kind.
21:30Loving.
21:31Loyal.
21:33Feels lucky to have you.
21:34What it is.
21:38He to my flat.
21:40Take it.
21:42For next time.
21:47I've got your back.
21:49No, Todd.
22:04Take it.
Be the first to comment
Add your comment

Recommended