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00:00Thank you for listening.
00:30Excuse me, you're telling me that the woman who loves to sing at any opportunity, who
00:55organises drag nights and finger nights and all that stuff, who loves being centre of
01:00attention. All of a sudden it's her birthday and she doesn't want no fuck. I want in the
01:05mood. What are you talking about? You're always in the mood. You are the mood. Well, it's not
01:14so jazz hands when you realise. When you realise what? My life's not exactly what I thought
01:22it'd be all right. At 49 the remix. So I didn't really want a fuck. Right. Is this because
01:29you've not got a fella? No. It's not just that. I love my life, but sometimes...
01:41A bit lonely. Bob on.
01:44Right. Well, listen. I know that your life might not be where you think it should be
01:53right now, but I'll let me tell you, you are fantastic. And I'm telling you now, you've
01:59made my life a hundred times better. May I have this dance? Come on, Carl. Hey, oh, never
02:11fear it. Your cake is here. Now, that cake looks very, very heavy. It's a very good job that
02:19you've got such lovely muscly arms. Oh, you've got lovely muscly arms, too, as well, that
02:26can help me. Oh, you were tired of saying the day. Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah. And there
02:31is Todd. Oh, you know, he's a bit of a light, the way that he's gone for a light there.
02:35What? He's out there, anything to drink. Well, that's my point, exactly.
02:40What, so we just wanted to go home? Oh. Left without saying his goodbyes? Oh, listen, don't
02:45worry about goodbyes. You say them all the time. Don't you worry, little Ed, about
02:48time. Oh, Sally's spectacular. Are you dancing? Because I am asking.
02:53What? Over, in.
02:58Why would he cheat on you? There's no one fitter than you, except me, and it's not me.
03:05So go on, then. Who is she? Carl's latest.
03:16It's James.
03:18James? James Bailey?
03:28I can't believe this.
03:30James, that sneaky little skank.
03:32Oh, Carl's the skank.
03:36You blew up your life for him.
03:38Oh, thanks for the reminder.
03:40What am I going to do, Tris?
03:43Well, you can stop being such a sap.
03:46And you would come to the right place for sympathy.
03:48No, I mean it, Abby. Remember who you are.
03:53Oh, you're right.
03:54What am I doing here?
03:55I should be chucking Carl's clothes out the window, or, I don't know, cutting up his best
03:59jacket.
04:00No, that's amateur.
04:02You're smarter than that.
04:03Oh, I'm not, though, am I?
04:05We were putting money aside for our new life in flaming Dusseldorf, and I'm putting groceries
04:15on credit cards while he's cupping off with anyone he likes.
04:20Right, so he's got a nice little nest egg, has he, for Germany?
04:23A few grand.
04:24Be a shame if that went missing.
04:25What, you reckon I should rob it?
04:30Pay your debts off, buy a fabulous pair of shoes, and walk all over him, fleece him!
04:38I knew there was a reason you and me were mates.
04:41Do not shed a single tear over him again, OK? Do you hear me?
04:45I'm right.
04:47Right, I've got to go, cos, erm, I've got some stuff to do.
04:55And did you not think to ask me first?
04:59I wasn't going to see my mum out in the street, was I?
05:01She's not going to be happy until I'm in the gutter.
05:03Oh, that's not true. You two just clash. Christmas didn't do any good, either.
05:07That was all her doing.
05:09Oh, I know, but...
05:10Babe, she hates my guts.
05:12She doesn't.
05:15Eva, take this upstairs, would you?
05:17Today, if it's not too much trouble.
05:20It is, actually. You'll have to do it yourself.
05:22Carefully don't break your neck on the way up.
05:24Well, I'm surprised that hasn't happened to you in those trashy heels.
05:27All right, enough.
05:29This is our home.
05:31Exactly.
05:32No, I mean all of ours.
05:33So can we please just get along?
05:37She hasn't even said sorry.
05:39Well, I am sorry.
05:40I'm sorry you feel so aggrieved.
05:42Babe, that is not an apology.
05:45That's the best you're going to get.
05:46Now, can we just move forward, please?
05:49I'll do a spot of cleaning.
05:51Stay to the place.
05:52Right, seriously.
05:53Beep, beep, beep, beep, go.
05:59So how is university for the very, very, very mature student?
06:04Oh, well, you know me.
06:07Potential barrister.
06:09Elderly, vagrant, pub, landlady.
06:11I treat everyone the same.
06:13It would be an awful pity if you got barred, wouldn't it?
06:16I thought you were studying law, not medicine.
06:21If you must know, this is all about my grandson's accident.
06:25Well, his recovery from the hit and run.
06:28Mystery of the sanctuary?
06:29I'd like you to know that this is my life.
06:32It's not some cheap TV thriller.
06:34Oh, the drama of you.
06:39He's still alive, isn't he?
06:41And on the mend?
06:42Well, it would be.
06:43If he went to his physio, if he weren't too scared, the stubborn ox.
06:47And he doesn't listen to a word you say.
06:49Maybe it's the way you say it.
06:52Maybe he's just a stubborn ox who needs to apologise.
06:55Sometimes you have to.
06:57With family.
07:05You see, if I'd cancelled the sparrow, I would have lost my hefty deposit, you know.
07:09Who is this bloke, any road?
07:11Andrew Scott.
07:12Well, he's an amazing actor that me and Todd adore.
07:16But I get that you didn't want to lose your deposit, so it's fine.
07:18Can you take someone else?
07:20Well, it was kind of more for Todd than me.
07:23But, erm, yeah, I'm sure I could find someone.
07:25Hey, I've just found this in Todd's jacket.
07:28Oh, hey, hey, summer.
07:30Alert the authorities, they found my boyfriend's porn in his jacket.
07:32No, I mean, they need it, won't they?
07:35I'm going to drop it on over to...
07:37Oh, Billy, he's sleeping off the air.
07:38He doesn't need to be playing candid crush.
07:40What, if he needs to contact us?
07:41No, he won't.
07:42Look, put it back and I'll reunite it with him when I get home.
07:46All right?
07:46All right, guys, guys, the cake is up.
07:50Oh, fuck home.
08:03Sorry.
08:03This hotel website's really basic.
08:20There's barely any reviews.
08:22Why are you still banging on about this?
08:24Because it doesn't add up.
08:25It's like a front or something.
08:27But when you spoke to somebody on the phone before,
08:30you spoke to an actual human and they said that Carla was staying there?
08:33Yeah, but when I try and book it, look,
08:36it doesn't let me go any further.
08:38Well, then, the website designer needs sacking.
08:41Yeah, but also when I look at maps,
08:44it's a building site.
08:47Oh, yeah, but, I mean, maps,
08:49they're never, like, fully up to date, are they?
08:51I mean, it's probably just a bit behind or something.
08:54Do you remember when we went to that boutique hotel in Portugal
08:57and it was only, like, half built?
08:59Yeah, I do.
08:59She was, like, ten, so it was really exciting.
09:02I was like, if I don't laugh, I'm going to cry.
09:04I can't imagine Carla seeing the funny side then.
09:06No.
09:07No, I think if it turns out to be a dud hotel
09:09and she's going to be chewing my ear off
09:11and complaining about it when she gets back.
09:14So you reckon I'm making something out of nothing?
09:16I'm sure she's by the pool,
09:18just topping up the town and eyeing up the talent.
09:21Oh.
09:24Don't make a sound.
09:26Oh, I'll knock you out proper this time.
09:28Please just let me go.
09:29Oh, God, you talk like I'm some kind of monster,
09:32but I came back to give you your kidney meds
09:33and look what you did to me.
09:36Oh.
09:37You didn't have to do that.
09:39It really hurts.
09:40You got me locked up in a coven and you're the victim.
09:45It is what it is.
09:47Like, yeah, it's not ideal,
09:49but I didn't want you to suffer,
09:50which is why I brought your meds.
09:52You can sing for these now.
09:54No, no, Becky.
09:55Please, I need them.
09:56No.
09:59You know Lisa's going to figure out who you really are.
10:06Lisa and me know each other inside out.
10:08And you can't mess with that,
10:10even though you tried.
10:13You're so damned.
10:14I don't care what you think,
10:16because pretty soon you'll be out of the picture
10:18and I'll get my happy ending with my family.
10:24If you were going to kill me,
10:26you'd have killed me by now.
10:29Look at you.
10:30You're shaking.
10:33You're not a killer.
10:35You're not good at any.
10:36No.
10:42But I don't have to, do I?
10:46Because without meds,
10:47your body's going to fail you pretty quickly.
10:50So all I have to do...
10:53Put on this gag.
10:57Get up.
11:08And walk out the door.
11:09I don't want it.
11:29Well, it's this or nothing, Betsy.
11:32Right, come on, get the plates out, will you?
11:33OK, Mrs Krabs.
11:35Excuse me.
11:37Hello.
11:38We are dishing up stir-fry again.
11:42Are you hungry?
11:43Yeah, starved babes.
11:45Where have you been all day?
11:47I, um...
11:47Don't you make every question sound like a police interrogation?
11:51That's your damn.
11:52I was just concerned.
11:53You know, you...
11:54You look like death.
11:59You all right?
12:00Oh, yeah.
12:01I'm just, you know...
12:03Oh!
12:04Mum!
12:05Oh, my God!
12:05Becky?
12:06Bex?
12:07Uh, er...
12:08Betsy, call the ambulance now.
12:09Yeah.
12:10Um...
12:11Becky?
12:12Becky, can you hear me?
12:14Hey, you sit down.
12:15I'll get the gun up.
12:16I should get attacked more often.
12:18Oh!
12:19Maybe I should invest in a little nurse's outfit, property, caring.
12:22Shh!
12:22Although I do like the sound of that.
12:24I'm just going to go for a week.
12:25OK.
12:26Hiya.
12:27Collection for Osborne.
12:28Yeah, I'll just grab it.
12:31A nurse's outfit?
12:34Er, it was a joke.
12:36What are you even doing here?
12:37Well, maybe I just fancied a onion barzy.
12:41So you followed us?
12:42Us?
12:43Look, I'm sorry, Will.
12:44I know you've got it to be missing out on a session, but...
12:47After what happened to Daniel, I need to be with him.
12:49Are you going on much part?
12:50I told you I wouldn't.
12:54All right?
12:56Yeah.
12:56Yeah, we're great.
12:57Er, Will's just disappointed that I've had to cancel our session tomorrow.
13:01Committed, aren't you?
13:02Completely.
13:03Yeah.
13:06Shall we go, then?
13:07Yeah!
13:08Yeah, come on, let's skedaddle.
13:11Bye, Will.
13:12Bye.
13:12I'll, erm...
13:14I'll message you about rescheduling.
13:18Ladies.
13:23Hey.
13:24Who's lazy now?
13:26Well, what do you want, a medal?
13:28Oh, come on.
13:29Don't pretend like you're not impressed.
13:32I knew you could do it, didn't I?
13:34The physio said he's never seen someone come so far in a session.
13:37Oh, you went to the physio in the end, did you?
13:40Er, yeah.
13:41Yeah, I did.
13:42Hmm.
13:42Was it helpful?
13:44Right, well, you can wipe that look off your face.
13:47Pity the physio didn't teach you to respect your elders.
13:50Well, it's a pity that my elders don't respect me as well.
13:53Oh!
13:54But, but, I probably shouldn't have spoke to you the way that I did.
13:59Well, I forgive you, all right?
14:02That's settled.
14:02What's for tea?
14:03Well, hang on.
14:05Have I been played here?
14:08Possibly.
14:09I got you to your session there, didn't I?
14:11Er, he went of his own accord.
14:13Oh, course he did.
14:14Course he did.
14:16Listen.
14:18Listen, you was right.
14:20I shall be trying harder.
14:22All right.
14:23Don't ruin it for yourself.
14:25Straight to the recycling.
14:40What is it?
14:41Er, a few friends of my mum's reached out, saying how sorry they were.
14:50And I didn't know what to say.
14:53And I know that they wanted some heartfelt thing, but...
14:58You didn't know how?
15:01That made me a bad person.
15:03No.
15:04No, grief is...
15:06It's complicated, isn't it?
15:08You deal how you deal.
15:09All the messages just made it real, you know?
15:12Like, that's it.
15:14Like, I'm never going to see her again.
15:16She's gone.
15:18It's done.
15:23I should be proud of you, you know?
15:26Yeah, right.
15:29What?
15:30Following your heart.
15:33Saving your pennies to start a new life with a woman you love.
15:37And a kid.
15:39And we're almost there, aren't we?
15:43Soon we'll be able to buy our tickets.
15:45And leave all our ghosts behind.
15:49Yeah.
15:51You don't sound too keen.
15:53You've not blown all the money, have you?
15:54Of course I haven't.
15:56And...
15:56I am keen.
15:57It's just...
15:59It's been a weird day, hasn't it?
16:01Yeah, it has.
16:02It does make you think, though.
16:08About the people you love.
16:12You'd do anything for him.
16:14Would you?
16:16What?
16:18Would you do anything for me?
16:20Of course I would.
16:23Abby, I don't know what I'd do without you.
16:24And you won't have to find out.
16:29Because you'd have to try very hard to get rid of me.
16:39Well, the doctor said it was concussion.
16:41And the wound on the back of your head.
16:43That doesn't happen without you noticing, does it?
16:45Well, what's with her tone?
16:46She's in a hospital bed.
16:47I need to know what's going on, Betsy.
16:49What's happened, Mum?
16:59I didn't want to tell you, but...
17:01I was...
17:03I was attacked.
17:06Oh, my God.
17:07It curses lot.
17:12Why wouldn't that be the first thing out of your mouth?
17:14It won't completely freak you out.
17:16It's me thereafter.
17:17You might have told me to do one.
17:18No, of course we wouldn't.
17:20Would we?
17:21No.
17:23Never.
17:26We can't just keep ignoring this.
17:29And you're right.
17:30They've obviously been keeping tabs on you
17:32and they clearly know where to find you.
17:33Yeah.
17:34Yeah, we can't just wait around until they do her in.
17:36We need to leave, hide out, like, right now.
17:39Right, you panicking isn't helpful.
17:41Yeah, but we've already lost her once.
17:43Don't you think I know that?
17:45I don't want to lose her again, either.
17:46Yeah, then do something.
17:47Betsy, it's all right.
17:49I am going to be all right.
17:52Lisa, I have to go.
17:54I need to go to Spain as soon as.
17:55We should ramp up the guest deals.
18:01People buy more when they think it won't last forever.
18:03Last forever?
18:04Nothing does.
18:05All right, Yoda.
18:06Why don't we try another cocktail night?
18:10Learn from our mistakes.
18:11You mean my mistakes?
18:13I didn't, actually.
18:14This is a learning curve for all of us.
18:17Oh, indeed it is.
18:19All right, what about a Luau?
18:21I could do pina coladas, Mai Tais.
18:23I could dust off my coconuts.
18:25Oh, I know.
18:26What about a Great Gatsby?
18:28Oh, I love the 1920s.
18:30And I make the best flapper.
18:32Just replace the F.
18:34You what?
18:35Oh, it was right there.
18:36I couldn't resist.
18:38Come on, babe.
18:39She's joking.
18:40Of course I am.
18:43Friends?
18:45Yeah.
18:46Right.
18:47Can you two ladies get on?
18:49After all, we're family.
18:55Maybe I've been a bit oversensitive.
18:59But I think Ben's right.
19:00We are family.
19:02And I think if we try hard, we could be so happy here.
19:06My son is soft and forgiving.
19:09Treats that I don't possess.
19:11You aborted my grandchild.
19:14You lied to everyone.
19:16You, lady, will never be my family.
19:21Ah, what can I get you there?
19:22It's hard.
19:39It's hard.
19:40It's hard.
19:41What have you been?
19:41What are you doing?
19:42Your hands are like ice.
19:46You're dripping wet.
19:49Yeah, I, um...
19:50I just popped out to get some, um, chips.
19:53I want to have some chips.
19:57Where are they, then?
19:58What?
19:59The chips.
20:00Oh, um...
20:01Todd, your lips are turning blue.
20:03How long have you been out here?
20:05I feel the cold, don't I?
20:06Look, Theo said you'd had too much to drink.
20:11I did.
20:12No, you'd had one pint at most.
20:15You weren't drunk.
20:16I was.
20:18But I saw how he seemed with you when you left.
20:24I, um, I'd been insensitive and, um...
20:27Yeah, he'd called me on it.
20:28That, that, that was all.
20:29So what, he'd lock you out the flat?
20:32No, of course not.
20:33Well, sir, then, can you explain to me why you're out here
20:35in the freezing cold, wet through, with no coat on,
20:38looking like you'd...
20:39one icy drink away from hypothermia?
20:42It'd save me the lies about the chips.
20:47All right, yeah, we did have a bit of a tiff
20:50at the party.
20:53And then I, I went for a walk just to clear my head.
20:56About what?
20:58My new business.
20:59All right, I'll, I'll, I'll go back home
21:03and everything'll be all right.
21:04I, I, he just, he gets a bit...
21:09A bit what?
21:15He has certain expectations of a relationship,
21:21that's all, and I'm, you know, I'm, like,
21:25selfish, inconsiderate.
21:28Kind, loving, loyal.
21:33Feels lucky to have you.
21:37What is?
21:38He to my flat.
21:40Take it.
21:41For next time.
21:47I've got your back.
21:48No, Todd.
21:49I'm going to be here.
22:01No.
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