- 12 minutes ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Music
00:04Music
00:08Music
00:12Music
00:16Music
00:20Music
00:22Music
00:32Music
00:36Excuse me
00:50You're telling me that the woman who loves to sing at any opportunity, who organises drag nights and bingo nights and all that stuff, who loves being centre of attention, all of a sudden it's her birthday and she doesn't want no fuck.
01:04I want in the mood.
01:06What you talking about? You're always in the mood. You are the mood.
01:13Well it's not so jazz hands when you realise.
01:16When you realise what?
01:18My life's not exactly what I thought it'd be, alright.
01:24At 49 in the remix, so I didn't really want a fuck.
01:27Right. Is this because you've not got a fella?
01:30No.
01:32It's not just that.
01:36I love my life, but sometimes...
01:40Bit lonely.
01:42Bob on.
01:44Bob on.
01:46Right.
01:48Well, listen.
01:50I know that your life might not be where you think it should be right now, but I'll let me tell you, you are fantastic.
01:56You know?
01:57And I'm telling you now, you've made my life a hundred times better.
02:02I know you've made my life a hundred times better.
02:04I'll let you know.
02:06I'm telling you.
02:08Come on, Carl.
02:10Hey-oh, never fear it, your cake is here!
02:16Now, that cake looks very, very heavy.
02:18It's a very good job that you've got such lovely muscly arms.
02:21Oh, you've got lovely muscly arms, too, as well, that can help play.
02:27You and Todd have saved the day.
02:29Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.
02:31And there is Todd.
02:32Oh, you know, he's a bit of a light, the way she's gone for a light, uh...
02:35What? She had to have anything to drink.
02:38Well, that's my point, exactly.
02:40What, so he just wanted to go home?
02:42Oh!
02:42Left without saying his goodbyes?
02:44Oh, listen, don't worry about goodbyes.
02:46You say them all the time.
02:47Don't you worry, little Ed, about Todd.
02:48Oh, Sally Spectacular!
02:50Are you dancing?
02:51No!
02:51Cos I am asking.
02:53Move!
02:56Over in!
02:58Why would he cheat on you?
03:00There's no-one fitter than you, except me, and it's not me.
03:05So, go on, then.
03:07Who is she?
03:09Carl's latest.
03:16It's James.
03:21James?
03:22James Bailey?
03:27I can't believe this.
03:29James, that sneaky little skank.
03:32Oh, Carl's the skank.
03:36You blew up your life for him.
03:38Oh, thanks for the reminder.
03:41Oh, what am I going to do, Tris?
03:43Well, you can stop being such a sap.
03:46And you'll come to the right place for sympathy.
03:48No, I mean it, Abby.
03:50Remember who you are.
03:51Oh, you're right.
03:54What am I doing here?
03:55I should be chucking Carl's clothes out the window,
03:58or, I don't know, cutting up his best jacket.
04:00No, that's amateur.
04:02You're smarter than that.
04:03I'm not, though, am I?
04:05We were putting money aside for our new life in flaming Dusseldorf,
04:13and I'm putting groceries on credit cards
04:16while he's copping off with anyone he likes.
04:17Right, so he's got a nice little nest egg, has he, for Germany?
04:23A few grand.
04:24Be a shame if that went missing.
04:27What, you reckon I should rob it?
04:30Pay your debts off,
04:32buy a fabulous pair of shoes,
04:33and walk all over him, fleecing!
04:38I knew there was a reason you and me were mates.
04:41Do not shed a single tear over him again, OK?
04:44Do you hear me?
04:45I'm right.
04:45Right, I've got to go,
04:48cos, erm, I've got some stuff to do.
04:57Did you not think to ask me first?
04:59I wasn't going to see my mum out in the street, was I?
05:01She's not going to be happy until I'm in the gutter.
05:03Oh, that's not true.
05:04You two just clash.
05:06Christmas didn't do any good, either.
05:07That was all her doing.
05:09Oh, I know, but...
05:10Babe, she hates my guts.
05:12Oh, she doesn't.
05:15Eva, take us upstairs, would you?
05:17Today, if it's not too much trouble.
05:20It is, actually.
05:21You'll have to do it yourself.
05:22Carefully don't break your neck on the way up.
05:24Well, I'm surprised that hasn't happened to you
05:26in those trashy heels.
05:27All right, enough.
05:29This is our home.
05:31Exactly.
05:32No, I mean all of ours.
05:33So can we please just get along?
05:37She hasn't even said sorry.
05:38Well, I am sorry.
05:40I'm sorry you feel so aggrieved.
05:42Babe, that is not an apology.
05:45That's the best you're going to get.
05:46Now, can we just move forward, please?
05:49I'll do a spot of cleaning.
05:51Stay to the place.
05:52Right, seriously.
05:53Babe, babe, babe, babe.
05:54Go on.
05:59So how is university for the very, very, very mature student?
06:04Oh, well, you know me.
06:06Potential barrister.
06:09Elderly, vagrant, pub, landlady.
06:11I treat everyone the same.
06:13It'd be an awful pity if you got barred, wouldn't it?
06:17I thought you were studying law, not medicine.
06:21If you must know, this is all about my grandson's accident.
06:25Well, his recovery from the hit and run.
06:28Mystery of the Century?
06:29I'd like you to know that this is my life.
06:32It's not some cheap TV thriller.
06:34Oh, the drama of you.
06:37That.
06:39He's still alive, isn't he?
06:41And on the mend.
06:42Well, he would be.
06:43If he went to his physio, if he weren't too scared, the stubborn ox.
06:47And he doesn't listen to a word you say.
06:49Maybe it's the way you say it.
06:52Maybe he's just a stubborn ox who needs to apologize.
06:55Sometimes you have to.
06:57With family.
06:58Okay.
06:59Okay.
06:59Okay.
06:59Okay.
06:59Okay.
06:59Okay.
06:59Okay.
07:01Okay.
07:01Okay.
07:03Okay.
07:04You see, if I'd cancelled the sparrow, I would have lost my hefty deposit, you know.
07:09Who is this bloke, any roadie?
07:11Andrew Scott.
07:12Well, he's an amazing actor that me and Todd adore.
07:15But I get that you didn't want to lose your deposit, so it's fine.
07:19Can you take someone else?
07:20Well, it was kind of more for Todd than me.
07:23But, yeah, I'm sure I could find someone.
07:25Hey, I just found this in Todd's jacket.
07:28Oh, hey, hey, someone.
07:30I'll let the authorities, they found my boyfriend's bone in his jacket.
07:32No, I mean, they need it.
07:34Won't he?
07:35I'm going to drop it on over to you.
07:36Oh, Billy, he's sleeping off the ale.
07:38He doesn't need to be playing candid crush.
07:40What if he needs to contact us?
07:41No, he won't.
07:42Look, put it back and I'll reunite it with him when I get home.
07:46All right?
07:47All right, guys, guys, the kick is up.
07:50Sorry.
08:17This hotel website's really basic.
08:20There's barely any reviews.
08:22Why are you still banging on about this?
08:24Because it doesn't add up.
08:25It's like a front or something.
08:27But when you spoke to somebody on the phone before,
08:30you spoke to an actual human and they said that Carla was staying there.
08:33Yeah, but when I try and book it, look,
08:36it doesn't let me go any further.
08:38Well, then, the website designer needs sacking.
08:41Yeah, but also when I look at maps,
08:44it's a building site.
08:47Well, yeah, but, I mean, maps,
08:49they're never, like, fully up to date, are they?
08:51I mean, it's probably just a bit behind or something.
08:54Do you remember when we went to that boutique hotel in Portugal
08:57and it was only, like, half built?
08:59Yeah, I do.
08:59She was, like, ten.
09:01So it was really exciting.
09:02I was like, if I don't laugh, I'm going to cry.
09:04I can't imagine Carla seeing the funny side, then.
09:06No.
09:07No, I think if it turns out to be a dud hotel,
09:09then she's going to be chewing my ear off and complaining about it when she gets back.
09:12So you reckon I'm making something out of nothing?
09:17I'm sure she's by the pool, just topping up the ten and eyeing up the talent.
09:21Oh.
09:24Don't make a sound.
09:26Oh, I'll knock you out proper this time.
09:28Please just let me go.
09:29Oh, God, you talk like I'm some kind of monster,
09:32but I came back to give you your kidney meds and look what you did to me.
09:36Oh.
09:36Oh, you didn't have to do that.
09:39It really hurts.
09:42You got me locked up in a coffin and you're the victim.
09:45It is what it is.
09:47Like, yeah, it's not ideal,
09:49but I didn't want you to suffer, which is why I brought your meds.
09:52You can sing for these now.
09:54No, no, Becky.
09:55Please, I need them.
09:56No.
09:59You know Lisa's going to figure out who you really are.
10:01Lisa and me know each other inside out.
10:08And you can't mess with that.
10:11Even though you tried.
10:13You're so damned.
10:14I don't care what you think.
10:16Because pretty soon, you'll be out of the picture
10:18and I'll get my happy ending with my family.
10:24If you were going to kill me, you'd have killed me by now.
10:29Look at you.
10:30You're shaking.
10:31You're not a killer.
10:35You've not got it, ain't you?
10:37No.
10:42But I don't have to, do I?
10:46Because without meds, your body's going to fail you pretty quickly.
10:50So all I have to do...
10:52put on this gag.
10:59No, no, no.
11:00Get up.
11:08And walk out the door.
11:09I don't want it.
11:28Well, it's this or nothing, Betsy.
11:31Right, come on, get the plates out, will you?
11:33OK, Mrs. Krabs.
11:35Excuse me.
11:37Hello.
11:38We are dishing up stir-fry again.
11:42Are you hungry?
11:43Yeah, starved, babes.
11:45Where have you been all day?
11:47I, um...
11:47Why don't you make every question sound like a police interrogation?
11:50Betsy, I don't.
11:51I was just concerned.
11:53You know, you...
11:54You look like death.
11:59You all right?
12:00Oh, yeah.
12:01I'm just, you know...
12:03Oh!
12:04Oh, Mum!
12:05Oh, my God!
12:05Becky?
12:06Bex?
12:07Uh, er...
12:08Betsy, call the ambulance now.
12:09Yeah.
12:10Um...
12:11Becky?
12:12Becky, can you hear me?
12:14Hey, you sit down.
12:15I'll get the gun up.
12:16I should get attacked more often.
12:18Oh, maybe I should invest in a little nurse's outfit, property, carey...
12:22Although, I do like the sound of that.
12:24I'm just going to go for a week.
12:25OK.
12:26Hiya.
12:27Collection for Osborne.
12:28Yeah, I'll just grab it.
12:31And this is outfit.
12:34Er, it was a joke.
12:36What are you even doing here?
12:37Well, maybe I just fancied a onion barzy.
12:41So you followed us.
12:42Us?
12:43Look, I'm sorry, Will.
12:45I know you've got to be missing out on a session, but...
12:47After what happened to Daniel, I need to be with him.
12:49Are you going on much barzy?
12:50I told you I wouldn't.
12:52All right?
12:56Yeah.
12:56Yeah, we're great.
12:57Er, Will's just disappointed that I've had to cancel our session tomorrow.
13:01Committed, aren't you?
13:02Completely.
13:03Yeah.
13:06Shall we go, then?
13:07Yeah.
13:08Yeah, come on, let's skedaddle.
13:11Bye, Will.
13:12Bye.
13:13I'll, erm...
13:14I'll message you about rescheduling.
13:18Layers.
13:18Hey, who's lazy now?
13:26Well, what do you want, a medal?
13:28Oh, come on.
13:29Don't pretend like you're not impressed.
13:31No.
13:32I knew you could do it, didn't I?
13:34The physio said he's never seen someone come so far in a session.
13:37Oh, you went to the physio in the end, did you?
13:40Er, yeah.
13:41Yeah, I did.
13:42Hmm.
13:42Was it helpful?
13:44Right, well, you can wipe that look off your face.
13:47Pity the physio didn't teach you to respect your elders.
13:50Well, it's a pity that my elders don't respect me as well.
13:53But, but, I probably shouldn't have spoke to you the way that I did.
14:00Well, I forgive you, all right?
14:02That's settled.
14:02What's for tea?
14:03Well, hang on.
14:06Have I been played here?
14:08Possibly.
14:09I got you to your session there, didn't I?
14:11Er, he went of his own accord.
14:13Oh, course he did.
14:14Course he did.
14:16Listen.
14:18Listen, you was right.
14:20I shall be trying harder.
14:21All right, don't ruin it for yourself.
14:35Straight to the recycling.
14:40What is it?
14:42Er, a few friends and my mum's reached out,
14:48saying how sorry they were.
14:49And I didn't know what to say.
14:53And I know that they wanted some heartfelt thing, but...
14:58You didn't know how?
15:01That made me a bad person.
15:03No.
15:03No, grief, it's...
15:06It's complicated, isn't it?
15:08You deal how you deal.
15:10All the messages just made it real, you know?
15:12Like, that's it.
15:14Like, I'm never going to see her again.
15:16She's gone.
15:18It's done.
15:23She'll be proud of you, you know?
15:25Yeah, right.
15:29Well, following your heart.
15:33Saving your pennies to start a new life with a woman you love.
15:37And a kid.
15:40And we're almost there, aren't we?
15:42Soon we'll be able to buy our tickets.
15:45And leave all our ghosts behind.
15:47Yeah.
15:51Now, you don't sound too keen.
15:53You've not blown all the money, have you?
15:54Of course I haven't.
15:56And I am keen.
15:57It's just...
15:59It's been a weird day, hasn't it?
16:01Yeah, it has.
16:05It does make you think, though.
16:08About the people you love.
16:09You'd do anything for him.
16:14Would you?
16:16What?
16:18Would you do anything for me?
16:20Of course I would.
16:23Abby, I don't know what I'd do without you.
16:25And you won't have to find out?
16:29Because you'd have to try very hard to get rid of me.
16:39Well, the doctor said it was concussion.
16:41And the wound on the back of your head.
16:43That doesn't happen without you noticing, does it?
16:45What's with her tone?
16:46She's in a hospital bed.
16:47You need to know what's going on, Betsy.
16:55What's happened, Mum?
16:59I didn't want to tell you, but...
17:01I was...
17:02I was attacked.
17:06Oh, my God.
17:08Curtis's lot.
17:09Why wouldn't that be the first thing out of your mouth?
17:14It won't completely freak you out.
17:16It's me thereafter.
17:17You might have told me to do one.
17:18No, of course we wouldn't.
17:20Would we?
17:21No.
17:23Never.
17:26We can't just keep ignoring this.
17:29And you're right.
17:30They've obviously been keeping tabs on you
17:32and they clearly know where to find you.
17:33Yeah.
17:34We can't just wait around until they do where we're in.
17:36We need to leave, hide out, like, right now.
17:39Right, you panicking isn't helpful.
17:41Yeah, but we've already lost her once.
17:43Don't you think I know that?
17:45I don't want to lose her again, either.
17:46Yeah, then do something.
17:47Betsy, it's all right.
17:49I am going to be all right.
17:52Lisa, I have to go.
17:54I need to go to Spain as soon as.
17:59We should ramp up the guest deals.
18:01People buy more when they think it won't last forever.
18:03Last forever.
18:04Nothing does.
18:05All right, Yoda.
18:08Why don't we try another cocktail night?
18:10Learn from our mistakes.
18:11You mean my mistakes?
18:13I didn't, actually.
18:14This is a learning curve for all of us.
18:17Oh, indeed it is.
18:19All right, what about a Luau?
18:21I could do pina coladas, Mai Tais.
18:23I could dust off me coconuts.
18:25Oh, I know.
18:26What about a Great Gatsby?
18:28Oh, I love the 1920s, and I make the best flapper.
18:32Just replace the F?
18:34You what?
18:35Oh, it was right there.
18:36I couldn't resist.
18:38Come on, babe.
18:39She's joking.
18:41Of course I am.
18:43Friends?
18:45Yeah.
18:46Right.
18:47Can you two ladies get on?
18:49After all, we're family.
18:55Maybe I've been a bit oversensitive.
18:58But I think Ben's right.
19:00We are family.
19:02And I think if we try hard, we could be so happy here.
19:06My son is soft and forgiving.
19:09Traits that I don't possess.
19:11You aborted my grandchild.
19:14You lied to everyone.
19:16You, lady, will never be my family.
19:21Ah, what can I get you there?
19:22It's hard.
19:39It's hard.
19:40It's hard.
19:41I don't know if you've been.
19:41What are you doing?
19:43Your hands are like ice.
19:46You're dripping wet.
19:49Yeah, I, um...
19:50I just popped out to get some, um, chips.
19:53I want to...
19:54have some chips.
19:57Where are they, then?
19:58What?
19:59The chips.
20:00Oh, um...
20:01Todd, your lips are turning blue.
20:03How long have you been out here?
20:05I feel the cold, don't I?
20:07Look, Theo said you'd...
20:09you'd had too much to drink.
20:10I did.
20:12No, you'd had one pint at most.
20:15You weren't drunk.
20:16I was.
20:18I saw how he seemed with you when you left.
20:24I, um...
20:25I'd been insensitive and, um...
20:27He called me on it.
20:28That was all.
20:29So what, he locked you out of the flat?
20:32No, of course not.
20:33Well, so then, can you explain to me why you're out here
20:35in the freezing cold, wet through, with no coat on,
20:38looking like you're one icy drink away from hypothermia
20:41and save me the lies about the chips?
20:46All right, yeah, we did have a bit of a tiff
20:50at the party.
20:52And then I...
20:53I went for a walk just to clear my head.
20:56About what?
20:58None of your business.
21:01All right, I'll...
21:02I'll go back home and everything will be all right.
21:05I...
21:06We just...
21:07He gets a bit...
21:10A bit what?
21:15He has certain...
21:18expectations of a relationship, that's all.
21:22And I'm...
21:24You know, I'm, like, a...
21:26selfish, inconsiderate...
21:28Kind.
21:30Loving.
21:30Loyal.
21:33Feels lucky to have you.
21:34Yeah.
21:34What is he to my flap?
21:40Take it...
21:42for next time.
21:47I've got here, Brad.
21:48No, Todd.
21:49I...
21:50I'm...
21:53I...
22:03I...
22:04I...
22:08I...
22:12I...
Be the first to comment