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00:00Goin' to King's Head Island, cause we won a fancy award.
00:19Hey, hey!
00:20Goin' to King's Head Island, cause we won a fancy award.
00:24That's right!
00:24Goin' to where the rich people are gonna see
00:28if they're really better than us, and they might be, but we still won an award.
00:33Yeah!
00:34You guys are fun on fairies.
00:36Yeah, people are loving this energy, even though they're avoiding eye contact.
00:40And that one guy's shaking his head.
00:42Hi.
00:42I still can't believe it, King's Head Lifestyles magazine
00:45naming us best dive on the mainland?
00:47Isn't dive a bad thing?
00:48Yeah, but they mean it affectionately.
00:50Like if I say, Dad, you big old stinky dive, I love ya!
00:54Sort of. I mean, it's pretty prestigious, and it's great exposure for the restaurant.
00:59But, Dad, I don't get it. Didn't you say these awards were stupid?
01:02When did I say that?
01:03These awards are stupid. Who even judges this? The Supreme Food Court? Stupid!
01:08These stupid things are all about who you know.
01:11Yeah, and you're a cool rebel with no friends!
01:13Exactly, Gene!
01:14It's funny, I don't feel those things at all now that we've won.
01:18Plus, it means we get to go to this winner's reception and a fancy sculpture garden event space,
01:23and we're gonna serve our sliders and get even more exposure.
01:27Dad's gonna expose himself all over that sculpture garden.
01:30Ha! Gene, you rascal.
01:32Check out Jolly Bob. He's so cute.
01:34Yeah, like a happy, hairy, slobbery puppy.
01:37Thank you. And we're gonna get a trophy.
01:39There's a trophy, too?
01:40Yup. I didn't really know how much I needed a trophy, but maybe it's all I wanted in life?
01:45It's sort of a weird orb kind of thing. Weird, but cool.
01:50Speaking of weird orbs, Mom, what's going on under your shirt there?
01:54Ugh, this bra. It was the only clean one I had left, but it digs into my back.
01:58Been there, sister. Boobs, huh?
02:00Boobs!
02:01Hey, man.
02:02I'm gonna tough it out for the reception. That's what we do, right?
02:05Us boob people?
02:06May I never, ever be cursed with those things.
02:10That's how I felt, Louise, but then I got him, and it's not so bad.
02:13Hi. Care for a slider?
02:16Swing!
02:17Sorry. Not sure why I said swing when I gave it to you.
02:21Uh, bye. Have fun out there.
02:23I think this might be a good time to ask about the fudge.
02:25Agreed.
02:26Let's fudge and do this.
02:27Um, mother, father, remember the fudge shop we passed coming over here?
02:31Tell it to the fudge?
02:32Yeah.
02:33Well, we were thinking maybe after this is all over, we could...
02:36Go to the fudge shop? Sure.
02:38Really? That was easy.
02:39Yeah, we should ask for more stuff.
02:40We want hair extensions. Lots of them. All over.
02:43Whoa. Hey, Bob, look who it is.
02:46Oh, my God. Is that Vincent? Might be a jewel thief, Vincent?
02:49Everyone, protect your family jewels.
02:51Kids, shush.
02:52Hey, Vincent.
02:52Bob.
02:53Linda.
02:54Kids.
02:54Hey!
02:55I saw you made the best bites list this year.
02:58Well deserved.
02:59I know. I mean, um, thank you.
03:01So what brings you here, Vincent?
03:03Um, taking it in.
03:04Looking for inspiration for my restaurant.
03:06And eating a lot. Mostly eating a lot.
03:08My man.
03:10Is that all that's on the agenda today, hmm?
03:13Uh, yeah.
03:14Just saying.
03:15Any cool things here that somehow end up not here after this is all over? Wink, wink.
03:20Not sure what you mean.
03:22Besides, there's nothing on the property worth more than a couple grand,
03:24as anyone who's looked at the pictures on their website would know.
03:28Yeah, a couple grand's not worth it.
03:32You all right?
03:33Uh, yeah, just stretching.
03:35This is a restaurant stretch.
03:36You'll learn it.
03:37Eh, restaurant.
03:39Okay.
03:39May I?
03:40Uh, of course.
03:42Mmm.
03:43I have missed your meat, Bob.
03:45I have missed your meat.
03:47That's nice, Vincent.
03:48Aw.
03:49All right.
03:49Mmm.
03:50I'm gonna eat my way around the lawn.
03:51Sure you are.
03:53I mean, I am.
03:54Whatever you say.
03:55Look at that guy.
03:56Wandering around, eating fun stuff.
03:58Must be nice.
03:59But we have to work, because we're children, and that's what children do.
04:03You know what?
04:04Go ahead, kids.
04:04Your mom and I can cover the table.
04:06Right, Len?
04:07Yeah, sure.
04:08Wow.
04:08We need to give this guy awards more often.
04:11We can brainstorm some.
04:12World's loudest urinator.
04:14I'll keep thinking.
04:15Nope, that works.
04:15Huh.
04:16Miss Cake and Identity.
04:18This is a cake shop?
04:19Uh-huh.
04:20So what's with the food that's not cake?
04:23It's all cake.
04:23Doesn't look like cake, but it is cake.
04:26That's fun, I think.
04:27As long as it tastes like cake.
04:30It sort of does.
04:31It's like if icing were chewy and not as good as icing.
04:34That's the fondant.
04:35It's like a clay you can eat.
04:37All clay is clay you can eat, pal.
04:40Ugh.
04:41I've had it with this thing.
04:42That's it.
04:43I'm doing it.
04:43I'm gonna do it, Bob.
04:44Um, do what?
04:45I'm taking off my bra.
04:47Oh, I...
04:48Okay.
04:48Come on, cover me.
04:49Cover me.
04:50Wait, how do I, uh...
04:51I know this is a fancy place, and I should
04:53secure the girls, but I can't wear it like this.
04:56And it's done.
04:58Much better.
04:59How does it look?
04:59Is it obvious?
05:00The shirt's pretty thick.
05:01Maybe it'll be okay, right?
05:03Come on, Bob.
05:04Look at my boobs.
05:05Bob Belcher?
05:06Ah!
05:06Um, is this the best dive on the mainland?
05:08Yes, it is.
05:09Best D on the M.
05:11Probably shouldn't have said that.
05:12I'm Sabrina.
05:12I'm here to escort you to the winner's circle for your photo.
05:15Oh, okay, great.
05:16Follow me, please.
05:17Coming, coming.
05:19Smooth walking.
05:20No parts of jiggling.
05:22What's that?
05:23Nothing.
05:23So, you work for the magazine?
05:25What do you do?
05:25I'm Margo's assistant.
05:27Margo?
05:28Paolo!
05:28Ha!
05:29Sorry.
05:29Margo Bushmiller?
05:30She's the magazine's publisher.
05:32Sabrina!
05:32Did you fix the trophy table?
05:34It's wobbly.
05:35I'll fix it.
05:36Sorry about the ground outside and how it's not flat.
05:38That's my bad.
05:39Get it together, Sabrina!
05:41Yup!
05:42Anyway, here you go.
05:44Wow, cool.
05:44Whoa.
05:45Oh, God, sorry.
05:46It's heavy.
05:47Ooh, can I hold this?
05:48Okay, Lynn, just be super careful.
05:50Okay, I will.
05:51Whoa!
05:52I'm sure lots of people drop it like we just did.
05:55Not.
05:56No.
05:57Oh.
05:58They're doing great.
05:59Well, they dropped all of us and we turned out all right, except for Tina.
06:02What?
06:02Okay, do we have a firm grip on it?
06:03Yes.
06:04Yes.
06:04And look at Darren.
06:06Ma'am, could you turn towards us?
06:09Uh, yeah.
06:09Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:11Lynn, what are you doing?
06:12Shush, shush, shush, boobs.
06:12Okay, that's...
06:13I...
06:14What?
06:15Just do it.
06:16Okay, yay.
06:17Congratulations, you did it.
06:18That's it?
06:18That's it.
06:19Uh, okay, uh, thanks.
06:21Uh, uh, I need the trophy back.
06:23Oh, don't I get to keep it?
06:25Yours will arrive in the mail in eight to ten weeks after you pay the $200 manufacturing
06:29and engraving fee.
06:30All the info is on the website.
06:32The $200?
06:33I just, I thought it was an award.
06:36It is.
06:36It's an incredible honor for you to be awarded this award, but awards are expensive.
06:40Right, but I won it?
06:42Yeah, you won the opportunity to pay for it.
06:45Sabrina, there's too much grass over here.
06:48My fault.
06:48Coming, Margo.
06:51Well, looks like Mom finally let the dogs off the leash.
06:54What?
06:54Shush.
06:55Uh.
06:56You okay, big fella?
06:57They want us to pay $200 for the trophy.
07:00Do they know our family is not good at paying for things?
07:03Yeah, money doesn't come naturally to us.
07:05I'm not gonna do it.
07:06I'm not gonna pay for an award.
07:07We closed the restaurant to do this.
07:09We have to pay for all this food that we're giving away.
07:11I, I, I'm not doing it.
07:13I, I just want to finish the job and go home.
07:15And in between those two things, we get some fudge for our fudge holes?
07:20I don't know.
07:21We'll see.
07:21We'll see as in, heck yeah?
07:23Guys, enough about the fudge right now.
07:25Go.
07:25I love you, but scram.
07:27Poor dad.
07:27Maybe we could help him raise the money somehow?
07:29I have been meaning to sell my life rights to Oprah.
07:32Hmm.
07:33Or we just take the trophy.
07:36What?
07:36Well, dad won it.
07:37It's his.
07:38But stealing's wrong.
07:39Here we go.
07:40And what if we get caught?
07:41I, I mean, look, the trophy's right out in the open.
07:44And there are rich people everywhere.
07:45And I'm pretty sure they have special powers.
07:46Like unearned confidence.
07:48Plus the trophy is like their display trophy.
07:50The magazine people are gonna notice if it's not displayed.
07:53Tina, Tina, Tina, we're not gonna get caught.
07:55Cause we're gonna have help from a professional.
07:57Who?
07:57Vincent?
07:59Mr. Sticky Fingers himself.
08:01Especially after that corn.
08:03Geez, is he mad at it?
08:05What did that corn ever do to him?
08:10So, we go over to the jewel thief.
08:12Alleged jewel thief.
08:13Wait for him to swallow his mini quiche.
08:16Alleged mini quiche.
08:18Say, hey, we're stealing a thing.
08:19Want in?
08:20Then we all hop the bus to Heistville.
08:22Can I pull the cord when it's our stop?
08:24I enjoy that.
08:25But what if we get caught and we go to rich people island jail?
08:27Actually, that sounds pretty nice.
08:29But what if it isn't?
08:30Tina, this is about justice.
08:32Justice, dad, and fudge.
08:35Put it all together, you get sweet daddy fudgedess.
08:38I just got chills.
08:39I'm in.
08:39Okay, fine.
08:40I like justice and fudge.
08:42And dad, he's cool.
08:43He's a total dilf.
08:44A dad I'd like to buy me fudge.
08:47Vincent!
08:48Hello.
08:48Please, don't stop eating.
08:50Just listen.
08:51Okay.
08:51We're in the market for someone with your, um, expertise.
08:55Hmm.
08:56What expertise would you be referring to?
08:58You know what I'm talking about.
08:59I'm talking about your special skills.
09:02Skills?
09:03Are you talking about Catan?
09:04I'm pretty good at Catan.
09:06Okay, nobody's good at Catan.
09:07No, no, no, they're skilling well.
09:08No, it's the roll of the dice.
09:09No, there's strategy there.
09:10No, you can strategize and then the dice is just landing on eight all the time or whatnot.
09:14Delineation of wheat, resources.
09:17Just whatever you want to tell yourself.
09:18Here's the thing.
09:19As a restaurant owner, you will probably be quite disturbed to learn that they are making
09:24everyone pay for their trophies.
09:26This is a racket.
09:28What are they charging?
09:29Two hundo.
09:30She means two Hondas.
09:32Well, not that you mention it.
09:33I paid for the VIP ticket, which I was led to believe included access to the wine patio
09:38and a fun pin.
09:40Fun pin?
09:41Go on.
09:41But then I get here and they tell me I have to pay an additional $40 for access to the wine
09:46patio and also they're all out of the fun pins.
09:48Disgusting.
09:49Damn, that's cold.
09:50Yeah.
09:50Wow.
09:51Sounds like you're on board to take down these rude foodies.
09:54Here's our thinking.
09:55We liberate that display trophy.
09:58That one right there.
09:59The one visible to pretty much everyone at the party?
10:01Yes.
10:01Sorry, kids.
10:02Even if I ever did do that kind of thing, which I didn't, I don't do it now even more than I
10:06didn't do it then.
10:07So my advice, don't steal.
10:09Just eat the food and stay in school.
10:11Can we do the drugs?
10:12Nope.
10:13Bye.
10:14Well, the good news is now we're not going to steal anything, so that's a relief to all of us.
10:17You know what?
10:18We don't need Vincent.
10:19We can swipe that trophy ourselves.
10:21Crap.
10:21Look at him tear apart that chicken satay.
10:23I think he just ate the stick.
10:25I can't believe we lugged all the stuff here.
10:28So stupid.
10:29I hate this.
10:30I hate all these people.
10:31Oh, except you, sir.
10:33Uh, enjoy.
10:34Bobby, come on.
10:35This can still be good for us.
10:37We could still get the word out about the restaurant.
10:39Oh, here's some words.
10:41Scam.
10:41Rip off.
10:42Idiot heads.
10:43Okay, well, I'm not saying your face is scaring everyone away, but all of a sudden we're getting
10:47fewer people coming over here.
10:49So I'm going to go pass out sliders.
10:50Wish us luck.
10:51Us?
10:51Me and my uptown girls.
10:53Well, now they're more midtown.
10:54Definitely not downtown.
10:55Not yet.
10:56We all pretend that this award is such a big deal.
11:02Give me a break.
11:03What's that?
11:04What?
11:05Are you talking to me?
11:06I mean, I was talking to my wife, but I guess she left.
11:09Okay.
11:10But yeah, these people here are unbelievable, right?
11:13Uh, uh-huh.
11:15I mean, we're out here making burgers and, uh, what is that?
11:18Sushi?
11:19Actually, it's cake.
11:20Oh, that's cool, I guess.
11:22Thanks.
11:22I mean, I'm not sure why you would do that, but anyway, this whole thing is total BS.
11:29Those are burgers?
11:29Those are burgers?
11:30Yeah.
11:31Oh.
11:31I make food that looks like the food it is.
11:33Uh-huh.
11:35Okay.
11:36Sure, it's out in the open, but no one's paying attention.
11:39Like when Ken plays his theremin on the subway.
11:42Okay, let's move.
11:43Oh, damn it.
11:44We can deal with this.
11:46Tina, you and I will create a diversion.
11:47Gene, when the assistant turns to look, you just grab the trophy.
11:50Why do I have to be the grabber?
11:52Because the diversion needs to be good.
11:54I can do a good diversion.
11:55I'll quote lines from Severance, but I'll get them a little bit wrong.
11:58It'll be maddening.
11:59Gene, no.
12:00Let me and Tina do the diversion.
12:02You grab.
12:02Fine.
12:04Ah!
12:05Oh, no!
12:06Everyone look in this direction!
12:08Any event organizers around?
12:10My sister is allergic to soft cheeses!
12:13These sun-dried tomato and brie puffs are gonna kill her!
12:16Uh, oh.
12:17Uh, uh, uh.
12:18Ah!
12:21Uh, damn these soft cheeses!
12:24Why do they have to be so soft, huh?
12:26Ah!
12:27What are you doing?
12:29Uh...
12:30Uh-oh.
12:31What's going on?
12:31What are you kids up to?
12:32Uh...
12:34Did I say allergic to soft cheese?
12:36I meant soft tacos!
12:38Okay, she's fine!
12:39Bye!
12:39Run away, run away!
12:40Run, run, run!
12:42I've got my eyes on you punks!
12:44We're not punks, we're cuties!
12:48Hi!
12:49Hello!
12:50Care for Bob's Burger Slider?
12:52Oh, God!
12:53Can they all tell?
12:54Those melons!
12:55Ah!
12:56Oh, phew!
12:58Guess it's cold, huh?
12:59Ah!
13:00Gaspacho!
13:01It's just gazpacho!
13:02One's definitely smaller than the other!
13:05Ah!
13:06Dumplings!
13:07It's just dumplings!
13:08But what is, you know?
13:09I'm looking at you, Lefty.
13:10Well, I think we learned a lot today about ourselves, about each other.
13:15I learned I'm allergic to soft tacos, but I'm a survivor.
13:18How'd it go?
13:18I mean...
13:19I'm just asking to be polite.
13:20I saw the whole thing.
13:21Just out of curiosity, what was your plan once you took the trophy?
13:24Grab your whole family and run away?
13:26Maybe.
13:27Could've worked.
13:27Louise, Mom's in no condition to run.
13:29It would be a bloodbath.
13:30It's fine.
13:31We'll just try a different plan.
13:33I mean, the game has changed.
13:34Now you're on that lady's radar.
13:36You just made this ten times harder.
13:37Right.
13:38And ten times more interesting.
13:40Interesting like you're in?
13:42No, I'm just saying it's a more complex job now and it engages the imagination.
13:47So, it probably makes you have a lot of thoughts and ideas you want to share?
13:52What?
13:52No, no, not at all.
13:54But here's how I see it.
13:56Wide field, almost no cover, tight ticker once you pop the top, and you poke the bear.
14:00That mama bear is awake.
14:01I know all those words.
14:03Don't worry about the words.
14:05Oh, thank God.
14:05What's important is the concepts.
14:07Oh crap.
14:07You know, there's a type of a job that I read about in a book that kind of fits this situation.
14:14To make it work, you need a rusty hook, a mechanic, and an act of God.
14:18You want to hear about this thing that I read about once in a book?
14:21Can't we listen at one and a half speed?
14:23Gene, shush.
14:24Vincent, lay it on us.
14:26It's just all one big money grab.
14:28It's just so cynical, you know?
14:30And isn't the world cynical enough already?
14:33Yeah.
14:34Yeah.
14:35Sorry about him.
14:36Hi.
14:36We're gonna need a few of these.
14:38Each, we just love how much they don't look like cake.
14:41Or taste like cake.
14:42Yeah, we're not mad at you about that.
14:44Okay.
14:45Hi, Dad.
14:45Still grumpy?
14:46He is.
14:47Very.
14:47Well, you won't be.
14:49Soon.
14:49Because of us.
14:50That's not usually how it works for me.
14:52This time I might.
14:55No one seems to be noticing.
14:57All these hoity-toities with their fancy food and wine,
15:01and none of them have any idea where their samples came from.
15:04A woman with no bra, a couple of wild things,
15:07riding without a seatbelt, right next to their food.
15:11Slide him, ma'am.
15:12That poor clueless sap.
15:14This is it, Linda.
15:15This is what power feels like.
15:21Okay, we're gonna peel this fondant crap off,
15:23and we're gonna mush it.
15:24Mush it real good.
15:25More cushion for the mushin'.
15:26Oh, were we supposed to be mushin'?
15:28I was mashin'.
15:29My bad.
15:30Of course it's like this.
15:31What was I expecting?
15:32Ugh.
15:32You know what the worst part is?
15:34Uh, what?
15:34How much I needed this.
15:36What's wrong with me that makes me need this so much, you know?
15:40Uh-huh.
15:40Why can't the food just be enough?
15:42Why?
15:42Why can't I just be enough?
15:44Oh, are you trying to move your boot?
15:47What?
15:48Uh, no.
15:48No, we're just, we're getting a little sun over here.
15:51Oh, cause there's no sun.
15:53I'll see you later.
15:57Ugh, those kids.
15:59Okay, up next is the advertiser's picture with Margo.
16:02Heads up, one of the ad guys has a pretty asymmetrical eyebrow situation.
16:06It's like one of them took all the nutrients in the womb.
16:08Let's just do what we can with that.
16:10Hey, put that back!
16:18Give me that trophy!
16:19I will destroy you!
16:21Why are you being so weird about this?
16:24Ah!
16:26You are the worst child in the history of King's Head Lifestyles,
16:29Best Bites of the Bay Annual Bayside Bite Abration!
16:31Take that back!
16:32No!
16:33Okay, fine, I get it!
16:38You just messed with the wrong magazine publisher's junior assistant, chump.
16:42Who are your parents?
16:43Wait, are your parents important?
16:45They're not, not, not important.
16:47What?
16:47Who are they?
16:48Have you heard of Weezer?
16:50Yes.
16:51I'm Augustus Weezer III!
16:53Sabrina!
16:54Hi, yes?
16:55I'm here with the advertisers for the advertiser's photo, so that's all going great,
16:59but there's just one thing.
17:01Where's the freaking trophy?
17:03I've got it!
17:03I'm coming!
17:05I'll deal with you later, Augustus.
17:07Okay, let's circle back!
17:09And there's our trophy.
17:10Don't know why it was gone.
17:12Not gonna deal with that right now.
17:13Right now is about advertisements and how important they are to the world.
17:17That's right.
17:20Stay over there.
17:21I wish I could beat up kids.
17:23I mean, I could.
17:24Okay, thanks folks, and a special thanks to all your money!
17:28Sabrina!
17:38No!
17:42No!
17:46No!
17:48No!
17:52God, I wish I could fire you, but you are my daughter.
18:14Well, looks like the trophy fell into the sea.
18:17Yeah, what a terrible accident.
18:19You should be very proud of yourselves, but maybe keep that tucked away till you make the dip, right?
18:24Right, right.
18:25You were a great rusty hook. You had to look like a thief who's bad at his job, and you did.
18:29You need bad at his job, you come to Gene.
18:32That was smart, to make the assistant lady think she caught us doing the thing while we were getting in position to actually do the thing.
18:37Yeah, good job, mechanic, getting into place.
18:40Thank you, I am small.
18:42Then there was that super cool girl who used her sister's ears to make it seem like we were all behind the sculpture when we weren't.
18:47That worked very well.
18:48What's my job called in, cool thief talk?
18:51Uh, the hat master?
18:52The hat master?
18:53Yeah, master of hats.
18:55Nice.
18:55The decoy trophy made of cake stuff? That was pretty good.
18:58That was handy.
18:59I'm fond of funded now.
19:00And also, the act of God was really an act of this God, because they had to do the switch and wobble the table just so.
19:09But, uh, yeah, sure, everyone helped.
19:12Jeez, what a heistzilla.
19:13Anyway, we should all be proud of ourselves, especially the guy who stepped in front of the assistant lady at the perfect time to slow her down.
19:22Who was that guy?
19:24Oh, right.
19:25That was me.
19:26And now they all think the trophy's gone due to a crazy wobbly table and not due to three weird kids and one dapper gentleman.
19:34Now, if you'll excuse me, I've been eating all day and I have seven different kinds of diarrhea.
19:39There goes the class act.
19:42Thanks for letting us get fudged, even though those magazine people really fudged you today, Dad.
19:49You're welcome.
19:50You doing any better there, Tiger?
19:52Yeah, I'm okay.
19:53I don't need a dumb trophy.
19:55I don't need a piece of metal to tell me what I'm good at.
19:58Oh, then you won't need this.
20:00Oh, my God.
20:01Gimme, gimme.
20:01Kids, where'd you get that?
20:03Did you go into the ocean?
20:04Yeah.
20:06We should give it back, probably.
20:08After we put it behind the counter for a little bit.
20:11Maybe just until I die?
20:13Enjoy it, Dad.
20:14You earned it.
20:15Yeah, for once.
20:16Kids, thank you.
20:17Even though what you did to get this was probably not safe or legal.
20:21All the nicest gestures are.
20:23Hmm, I don't know if that's true.
20:24Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
20:25I got it.
20:26I got it.
20:27I'm gonna hold it real good now.
20:29You know what, Mom?
20:30You're right.
20:31This thing does dig into your back.
20:33Be free, little belchers.
20:34Bappity, bappity, bappity, bappity, bapp.
20:36Yeah.
20:37Bappity, bappity, bappity, bappity, bappity.
20:38Oh, my bitch.
20:39Oh, sorry, sorry.
20:40Magazine people dissing my dad.
20:44Making him pay for stuff.
20:48And then my mom is done with her bra.
20:52She says she's had enough.
20:56Woo-hoo.
20:57And we stole the trophy.
21:00Woo-hoo.
21:01Gave it to our daddy.
21:04Woo-hoo.
21:05Then fun's for you and me.
21:08Woo-wee-hoo.
21:09I'm Augustus Weezer III.
21:12Oh, oh.
21:13And you're not.
21:14God bless you, sir.
21:20Woo-wee.
21:21Woo-wee.
21:22Woo-wee.
21:23Woo-wee.
21:23Woo-wee.
21:24Woo-wee.
21:24Woo-wee.
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