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FunTranscript
00:00Oh
00:30morning campers
00:38you're gonna have to speak up
00:41stay still
00:43give me my meds
00:45what have I told you about that
00:46eh your meds are a privilege
00:49not alright
00:50Becky you're playing with my life here please
00:52I know fun isn't it
00:55there you go
00:56you getting that
00:58yeah hints of oak
01:01there's brie magnolia
01:03oh no sorry that was the bottle of your albarino
01:07me and Lisa drank last night
01:09and if you were saving it for a special occasion
01:12don't worry
01:12it was
01:14yeah well it's not exactly a fair fight is it
01:18sorry
01:19I mean you let me out of here
01:21you tell Lisa what you've done
01:23and let's see if she chooses
01:25oh you think you mean anything to her
01:27some confused tourist
01:29you now put a rebound
01:31on the scene
01:32five minutes
01:34I'm her wife
01:35well if you're so sure she wants you
01:38why'd you have to hogtie the competition eh
01:41I mean let's face it
01:43me like this
01:44that's the only way she chooses you Becky
01:46you've ruined my life
01:55shut up
01:59shut up
02:00thought you had the day off
02:08yeah she does
02:09and we're meant to be going shopping
02:10I just can't exactly relax
02:12with Carla gone
02:14I'm just trying to decipher her plan
02:15for this Mortimer's order
02:16well is she still not answering her emails
02:18no
02:19no it's not like her at all either
02:20I've just never known her break up to hit her so hard
02:23is this her stuff
02:24yeah
02:25I've had to go through her drawers
02:26she's not left with much to go with
02:28right are we going or not
02:29right you get ready and go
02:31and I'll meet you if I can
02:32thanks
02:34hill rhubarb
02:40this is when she spoke to Costello
02:42yeah
02:43wondered what that meant
02:44she says he was trying to tell her something
02:46what and that's what he's told her
02:49what does that mean
02:50beats me
02:52what would Megan say
02:56sorry
02:56that cereal's full of sugar
02:58it's not exactly the breakfast of champaigne's is it
03:00yeah I know
03:02look dad
03:03can we talk about something
03:04yeah
03:05right
03:06I'm off
03:07where to
03:09I told you last night
03:10January sales
03:11best time of the year
03:12actually see in my day
03:13the January sales were actually in January
03:14well stop it
03:15you sound like your mother
03:16bye
03:17don't spend too much money
03:19chance will be a fine thing
03:23look dad
03:24you're positive
03:25it was yours
03:26not this Adam guy's
03:27you be careful that
03:31I was just asking
03:32I trust Eva totally
03:34yeah but she still went behind your back
03:36yeah and she explained everything to me
03:38so as far as I'm concerned that's the end of it
03:39I'm not the only one with questions
03:40yeah look what that got your nana
03:42yeah in a hotel room
03:44which I also don't agree with
03:45but she was out of order
03:46why would you forgive Eva so quickly
03:48but not even your own mum
03:49what's going on between you and your nan
03:53what
03:54did she put you up to this
03:57no
03:58I need to go
03:59yesterday she wanted a private word with you
04:01what was that all about
04:02nothing
04:03I need to go
04:04okay
04:04bye
04:05so the finger food will be out here
04:14and well I mean you should have the rest of the place to yourself
04:16perfect
04:16are you sure there's nothing else we can do for you
04:18no no this is just what we wanted
04:20okay
04:20well happy birthday
04:22oh thank you
04:23happy birthday lovey
04:27oh thank you
04:28happy birthday
04:29oh right well
04:31this lap had better start getting a bit of a wriggle on
04:34how do you mean
04:35well George could be here any second
04:36and they barely started doing any decorations
04:38well this is it
04:39this is it
04:41yeah
04:41this is George's 60th birthday
04:43no it's actually my birthday today
04:46his isn't until the new year
04:48besides neither has fancied the fuss
04:50no no no love this won't do
04:52just leave it with me
04:54get my pen
04:55pen?
04:57oh god yeah what am I thinking
04:58it's a terrible idea
04:59he wants a pen for the birthday
05:01George is just really hard to buy for
05:03oh
05:04hey guys
05:05hey
05:06well it's summer I'm glad I've seen you
05:08look I'm sorry again about the film festival
05:10oh Todd it's fine
05:11no look you put a lot of thought into that present
05:14like you always do
05:15to be honest I thought it'd just be nice to hang out
05:19well what are you doing today?
05:22er not much
05:22other than George's party later
05:24on to going into town
05:25look you can help me
05:27pick out a present for George
05:28because you're obviously good at that
05:29er maybe something like the cufflinks
05:31that you got for Billy
05:31doing it a bit fine aren't you?
05:33well his birthday's not for two weeks
05:35it's not my fault he's having an early party
05:37well I'm free right now
05:38great no time like a present
05:41pun
05:42right see you at the party
05:45see you later
05:46see you later
05:46in a bit
05:47have fun
05:47Todd seems a bit brighter
05:54seems same old Todd to me
05:58look I'll sort it okay
06:02but I can't do anything while you're on the phone
06:04I'll talk to you later
06:06I'll talk to you later
06:06yep
06:07bye
06:08problem?
06:10oh Debbie might even know about transport
06:12what is it with weddings that sends everyone loopy?
06:15well they're a big deal aren't they?
06:17committing to someone
06:18for better or worse and all of that
06:19hey
06:23we okay?
06:26why won't we be?
06:28all that stuff with James
06:29what goes on between you and James
06:32is not to do with me is it?
06:34I suppose you're right
06:35so
06:37what have you got on today?
06:39Alfie needs a few bits
06:41so I'm going to head to the sales
06:42do you want to come?
06:44Trafford centre January sales
06:46hmm
06:46no tar
06:48like me arm the way it is
06:49hmm
06:49suit self
06:50better get off then
06:53hey
06:54I didn't think I'd let you get away with that
07:06not saying a proper goodbye
07:08hi
07:15I'd best be getting back to work
07:16Ty
07:17have you
07:17um
07:18booked me to your taxi for the physio
07:19actually I've decided I'm going to give it a miss today
07:22you've got to go
07:23you're coming off the bars
07:24this is a big day this
07:26yes but my physio also said
07:27that I've got to start listening to my body
07:29and it's telling me that I need to rest
07:30you've already missed it once
07:32haven't you
07:32last week
07:33when you forgot
07:34forgot
07:35come on Ty I think this is important
07:38right okay I'll go
07:40get your taxi book then it's gone too
07:42it hasn't has it
07:43oh yes I've got to be getting off
07:47uh where to
07:49the um party
07:51you know
07:51the grave digger
07:53George
07:54I don't know you two are friends
07:56we're not
07:57but it's at the bistro
07:58so they um
07:59they do those little blinnies
08:01whenever there's a party
08:02and that
08:02keeps me in smoked salmon
08:04you know
08:04for days at uni
08:06that reminds me now
08:07it's a thought
08:07I need a plastic tub
08:09all right
08:11good luck
08:12you'll smash it
08:13mwah
08:13please
08:14look at that
08:19and that's made up
08:21mhm
08:21mhm
08:22mhm
08:24mhm
08:25mhm
08:30mhm
08:31oh yeah
08:32tell me
08:32right
08:33er
08:33there's a little hook behind there
08:35that needs to go a bit higher
08:36because that's not
08:37Sean
08:37enough
08:38take that down
08:38no
08:39because that's not enough
08:40for goodness sake
08:40perfect is the enemy of good
08:42yes beloved
08:43it's not straight
08:44well neither are ours too
08:45huh
08:46not done us any harm
08:46all right
08:47I'll tell you what
08:47I'll just leave it
08:48I'll leave it all nice and crooked
08:49looking good
08:50really
08:51you think
08:52what you don't think so
08:53I just think is a bit much of a manner
08:55you hand out the party poppers
08:57right
08:57make sure everybody's got one
08:58to let off when
08:59George makes his big entrance
09:00right
09:01don't forget
09:01what is George not here yet
09:03hopefully he's running late
09:04gives me a chance to get this place
09:06ship shape
09:06oh
09:07he looks fine to me
09:08oh fine
09:09who needs to find you
09:11oh ladies
09:12oh you know
09:13there's all so fast
09:14oh it's lovely to see
09:16no way they're here
09:17what
09:18I've seen them at shuttlewoods before
09:20right
09:21Todd calls them
09:22the merry widows of Weatherfield
09:24all of their husbands have died
09:26and George has done the funerals
09:28but they still come by the parlour
09:30all the time
09:30months later
09:31they're like groupies
09:32where is Todd
09:33oh him and Theo
09:35were on the way
09:35Theo just thought
09:36Todd needed to change
09:37how was he
09:39when he went shopping
09:40he was fine
09:41why
09:42no reason
09:43oh
09:44oh
09:45oh
09:46he's here
09:48everybody
09:48happy birthday to you
09:57thanks
09:58thanks
09:59oh
09:59oh
10:15I'll be back in a minute hey
10:42happy birthday both of you
10:43oops sorry
10:44I'll tell you what
10:45those widows are somewhere else
10:46yeah
10:47yeah it's like losing their husbands
10:49was a career choice
10:50I mean I'm not saying that they've done anything
10:51but
10:52they definitely lean into widowhood
10:54er
10:54hey boys
10:55there's a sausage rail
10:56er
10:56no good thanks
10:57good
10:57hey look
10:58I saw you running yesterday
10:59er
11:00yeah just my usual route
11:01up to the red wreck
11:02couple of loops and back
11:03getting a bit bored of it to be honest
11:04er
11:05listen
11:05lager
11:05oh yeah
11:06tarlok
11:07hey look
11:07I could show you a great route
11:09along the canal
11:09no thanks
11:10those geese are terrifying
11:12come on don't be daft
11:13have you seen a goose up close
11:14they've got teeth
11:15on their tongues
11:16on their tongues Nick
11:17teeth
11:18hey hi sir
11:19listen do you want a drink
11:20er
11:20do you know what
11:21no I'm good thanks
11:22because I'm going to get going soon
11:23oh
11:24need to keep an eye on them two
11:26did er
11:27Todd tell you that
11:28Nick was his first crush
11:30you know what
11:30they say about first loves
11:32I used to go out with Craig quite a bit
11:37so
11:37you know it'd be nice to have a bit of company
11:39do you know what eh
11:42run sounds good
11:43we're just about to do the presents now
11:46okay
11:46er
11:47hey I'll text you
11:48yeah
11:48very nicely wrapped Sean
11:54oh
11:55bumper sticker
11:57ain't coming
11:58my other car is a hearse
12:02very nice Sean
12:05very funny
12:05thank you
12:06oh and this is from me
12:08Todd and Theo
12:09oh that's a big isn't it
12:10have you brought a present for George
12:11no we're not that close
12:12look at Zach
12:16from the day you were born
12:17oh
12:18you're kidding me
12:19yeah and that is Ken Barlow's brother
12:21who played for County
12:22oh thank you
12:23thank you
12:24thank you Todd
12:24that's lovely
12:25oh hang on
12:26watch this bit down here
12:27Tombola prizes
12:29remain unclaimed
12:30local journalism at his best
12:33photo opportunity for the birthday boy
12:37oh here we go
12:37alright get in
12:38I'm the birthday girl
12:39you get in as well
12:40remember me
12:41hey you
12:42having a good time
12:43we all in
12:44why should you flirt with Nick
12:45you mean
12:46what
12:46having a nice little chat
12:48weren't you too
12:48yeah a chat
12:49Nick's straight as they come
12:51doesn't start your fancying though
12:52does it
12:53listen I'm gonna shoot off
12:56no no no love
12:57no no you can't go yet
12:58no because we haven't done the cake
12:59Brenda where's the cake
13:00well there isn't one
13:01I'm just in ten years between them
13:03she didn't think it was worthy of getting the cake
13:05honestly
13:05I can go get one from Ted
13:07well no no
13:08hang on it's alright
13:08listen I know this nice little bakery
13:10I can go
13:10oh would you do that love
13:12that's very kind
13:12oh yeah listen it's no problem
13:14and Todd was just saying you need some
13:15weren't you darling
13:16so let's go together
13:17yeah
13:18we'll go
13:19I'll just get my coat
13:20oh no no no
13:21you won't be needing that
13:22won't be long
13:22see you later
13:23group photo everybody
13:24come on Bill
13:25come on Sal
13:26everybody say cheese
13:29cheese
13:30cheese
13:32there you go
13:36a little pipe please mate
13:39come on up
13:40you're a bit young to be drinking alone
13:42more of a sad old man thing that
13:44what like you you mean
13:46I'm meeting Sarah
13:47and I'm meeting Lauren
13:48nah I'm heading into town with her
13:50but she's running late
13:51so I'm just killing time
13:52ooh actually
13:54speak of the devil
13:56see you later
13:56wait Bert
13:57so hold on a second
13:58erm
13:58have you seen Carla recently
14:00er I heard from her on Christmas Day
14:03right how did you see him
14:05it's hard to tell you
14:07hey sorry
14:07hey
14:07hello
14:08you know she could be having the time of her life
14:10and still Sam Mardy
14:11hopefully that er
14:13rhubarb hill has a spa to er
14:14sort her out
14:15sorry rhubarb hill
14:16yeah the hotel she's staying at
14:19well I think that's what it was called
14:20oh right
14:21why do you two know it
14:25no it's just a weird name that's all
14:27do you know what the suite she was in
14:29that had a weird name but
14:30I can't remember now
14:31anyway I'll see yous around
14:33what are you thinking
14:37Costello was in no fit state to give Carla hotel recommendations
14:42socks, pants, usual
14:46how about you?
14:47Maria got me a moustache trimmer
14:48oh nice
14:49wait you don't have a moustache
14:52how about peanut does?
14:54really? I've never seen it
14:55because I trim it
14:56oh yeah makes sense
14:57you're back early
15:01oh you're still here
15:03I should head off
15:04said I'd go to George's party
15:06oh well
15:07you'd better get a move on
15:08the finger fill is very good
15:09but there's not much of it left
15:11you know
15:11you don't look like a student
15:13eh?
15:14well I'm a student
15:15so by definition
15:16I must look like one
15:18I thought you might have started dressing like one
15:20nah
15:20on the contrary
15:21they've all started dressing like me
15:23when I first got to uni
15:24it was all trackies and trainers
15:26but now
15:27silk scarves
15:28you can't move for cardigans
15:30they think I'm cool
15:31that's charity shops for you
15:33see ya
15:33see ya Kurt
15:34charity shops?
15:36this is vintage mate
15:38so
15:42you lied
15:44you um
15:45you didn't go to physio
15:46I didn't lie
15:48I changed my mind
15:49there's a difference
15:50why do you change your mind?
15:52is it because you're scared
15:53that you won't be able to walk
15:54when you come off the bath?
15:56no
15:56no
15:57and I don't care what you say
15:59right?
16:01my legs
16:01my rehab
16:02my choice
16:03I could not agree with you more
16:05wait what?
16:07well
16:07I mean it's your prerogative
16:08your decision
16:09and I have to
16:10respect
16:11that decision
16:12really?
16:13yeah
16:14I mean you're a grown man
16:16you don't want your nan
16:17telling you what to do
16:18it is nobody's business
16:20if you take a bit longer
16:21before you walk
16:22yeah
16:22yeah exactly
16:24yeah
16:24so
16:24if you're not gonna
16:26you know
16:27come off the bars and walk
16:28do you want me to
16:29wheel you to the pub
16:31and I'll buy you a pint?
16:32no
16:32you go ahead
16:34well if you're sure
16:35you know
16:36I will not make you do
16:38anything that you don't want to do
16:40right?
16:41yeah you
16:42you go
16:43let's make this quick
16:49fine by me
16:50what have you and Will been up to?
16:53Will?
16:53what are you on about?
16:55you asked him to have a word with me about you coming home didn't you?
16:58no I did not
16:59and there I was thinking you'd ask me in here to apologise
17:02apologise for what?
17:04for throwing your poor old mother out onto the street
17:07actually the hotel's better than here
17:08shows all you know
17:10the lift is broken
17:11five flights of stairs after breakfast
17:14now that might be nothing to Mr. Big Rugby Balls but it is to me
17:19really?
17:20and the worst of it is
17:21my family is all over here
17:24and I am stuck over there
17:26squirreled away like a dirty secret
17:29I do not do well on my own
17:32I know I stick my nose in sometimes
17:35but you were very happy to see me wading in with my checkbook
17:39when the sale of this pub nearly fell through
17:42ma
17:42if you want a mother that's going to go into bath for you
17:45you can't always choose where she's going to put that bath
17:49yeah well you swung it at Eva
17:50I won't have that
17:51yeah I know that was wrong
17:53I'm sorry it won't happen again
17:55it better not
17:56so what do you say?
18:00can I phone the hotel?
18:02tell them they can have their room back
18:04alright I'm coming
18:11I'm coming
18:16yeah
18:20I didn't know where else to go
18:26well may I suggest the Rovers
18:29the Bistro
18:30Funny Farm
18:32it's Carl
18:33he's cheating on me
18:35and you want me to do what about it?
18:39I don't know
18:40oh come here
18:44thanks
18:53they were nice
18:56staying open for us
18:58Theo you barely said a word
19:01it's about Nick isn't it?
19:04I told you about him ages ago
19:06yes I had a thing
19:08an ill-advised thing
19:10for Nick
19:11when I was a kid
19:12do you still fancy him?
19:17he's a mate
19:18you were all over him
19:19I was not
19:20maybe a laughing stock
19:23phoning over him
19:25I said I thought it was so funny
19:26he was giving me running tips
19:28yeah
19:28and the rest
19:30that's the truth
19:31how do you think it made me feel
19:34that I stood at the bar
19:36on my own
19:37when you were
19:38laughing it up
19:39with your
19:40childhood sweetheart
19:41he's not my sweetheart
19:43I'm glad he gave you running tips
19:48because you can make your own way home
19:51what?
19:54I can't burst a look at you Todd
19:57Theo
20:01we're miles away
20:03Theo
20:05Theo I haven't
20:08I haven't got my coat
20:09Theo is freezing
20:11Theo
20:13tell you what it's a nice hotel
20:18reviews look good
20:21yeah but there's no dates on them though
20:23look to be fair
20:24I mean that is the kind of place
20:26that Carla would book in
20:27what are you doing?
20:31hola
20:31hablo ingles
20:33great
20:35erm
20:35is that the rhubarb hill hotel?
20:39well I'm just looking for one of your guests
20:40Carla Connor
20:41erm
20:42can you put me through to her room please?
20:45yeah
20:45it's Kit Green
20:46yeah no problem
20:53she's probably out enjoying herself
20:54they do say
20:56blondes have more fun
20:57oh no that's right
21:00she's er
21:00she's dying her hair dark
21:02these days
21:02will you ask her to ring me
21:05when she gets back?
21:07thank you
21:07bye bye
21:08so it checks out
21:11looks like it
21:12and it was just the name of the hotel
21:14yeah but that's the rhubarb hill hotel
21:17so why would she write something different in her diary?
21:25what do you say?
21:27well it sounds like you took the bait
21:29no
21:30don't take the website down yet
21:33you need to keep an eye on that phone line too
21:35we need everyone to believe that hotel exists
21:38it's only for a few more days
21:40yeah
21:42speak soon
21:45do you have any idea
21:48how much trouble that little phone call of yours caused?
21:52not to mention the cost
21:54you owe me
21:56or even now
22:04you owe me
22:06you owe me
22:07you owe me
22:08you owe me
22:09you owe me
22:10you owe me
22:11you owe me
22:12you owe me
22:13you owe me
22:14you owe me
22:15you owe me
22:16you owe me
22:17you owe me
22:18you owe me
22:19you owe me
22:20you owe me
22:21you owe me
22:22you owe me
22:23you owe me
22:24you owe me
22:25you owe me
22:26you owe me
22:27you owe me
22:28you owe me
22:29you owe me
22:30you owe me
22:31you owe me
22:32you owe me
22:33Oh, my God.
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