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00:00My husband tried to join me in our lifeboat.
00:07Two men grabbed him.
00:11Officers were there with guns.
00:15He offered no resistance
00:18and backed off back onto the ship.
00:21I began yelling and crying
00:25as I wanted to join him on the sinking ship.
00:28Action!
00:51He told me that apparently we'd struck something.
00:54Iceberg!
00:55Zenith!
00:58I didn't become alarmed.
01:04There was no danger, they said.
01:07I told her to come at once. We were sinking.
01:13You can imagine the chaos and the fear and the terror of finding water in your cabin and you're in the bowels of the ship.
01:25It makes me panic just thinking about it.
01:26The story of the Titanic is the human condition spread out, pinned on a board for us to examine.
01:35Then came the terrible cry.
01:38Women and children, women and children.
01:41Two men lifted me up and put me in a boat.
01:44It's these small decisions, these little butterfly effect moments that change the outcome.
01:50It really was every man for himself.
02:05It really was every man for himself.
02:08My heart stood still.
02:10If we're gonna die, the best to die gripping something.
02:27It's a split second decision. What would you do? What would I do?
02:33It was a terrible son. Men swimming and sinking.
02:45I'd been brought up to believe in a hell after death.
03:06For now, I think I went through a hell that night.
03:08For now, I left heaven with my mind.
03:36I was working in the engineering.
04:06We got the order, all hands on deck, put your life preservers on.
04:12The deck was full of male third-class passengers.
04:17The last boat was getting lowered.
04:21About this time, I met all the engineers as they came trooping up from below.
04:28Up to that time, they had loyally stuck to their guns.
04:35When the crew come up on deck, these guys who've worked so heroically to try to keep Titanic afloat,
04:45they expect that there will be a place for them in the lifeboats.
04:51And of course, that is not the case.
04:53British Hierarchical Society is always there to shaft the underdog.
05:02Those people who had risked their lives were not going to get any help at all.
05:07It was a bleak and hopeless spectacle that met their eyes.
05:14Empty falls hanging from every david head.
05:18Not a hope for any of them.
05:20Titanic has enough people on board that we're really seeing the whole range of reactions to facing death.
05:36From resignation, to fight and flight, to acting out of love and empathy to help other people.
05:43And at this point, some people choose to do things that may look quite strange.
05:50One fellow said, go to the first cabin bar room.
05:54There was a steward filling up tumblers on a tray.
05:59He said, go on lads, drink up.
06:03She's going down.
06:04Some people prefer to stay in their cabin and let the waters rise up.
06:13Others go to the bar and just start drinking the place dry.
06:17Everyone has to choose to die in their own way, whatever that is.
06:21I was for going down into one of the first class cabins, but...
06:25..if Hal Matty wouldn't let me...
06:29..Matty said to me...
06:30..I'll have to jump for it.
06:34It makes me panic just thinking about it, because I can imagine the chaos and the fear.
06:48It's not fair, you know, when passengers embarked on this ship.
06:54They were told it was unsinkable.
06:55They probably didn't pay much mind to how many lifeboats there were,
06:58but now that it's of the most crucial importance to them,
07:01they see that they've been failed.
07:04Captain Smith and Thomas Andrews, the ship's designer,
07:13must have been in hell.
07:16This was their unsinkable ship.
07:20Thomas Andrews was trying to do something,
07:23because he is the architect of this disaster.
07:27Andrews was seen throwing steamer chairs into the water with the idea of actually helping those who got into the sea
07:37to have something to support them.
07:39It's very difficult to know what the captain's final moments were.
07:48During the Falklands War, I was a captain of a ship that was bombed, which I had to abandon.
07:53And so I know the pressures he was under.
07:55And I personally think that he probably stayed on the bridge and waited to meet his fate.
08:01But I think he would have been feeling to himself that he had failed in this last great appointment of his.
08:11There's something of the stiff upper lip happening here.
08:14But inside, there must be inner turmoil, because survival instinct is really powerful.
08:20And the captain is probably suppressing it as much as he can.
08:24The social codes of conduct, fighting against that very ancient part of the brain,
08:28the primitive part that just drives us forward biologically.
08:34People just have that, the will to survive.
08:37The adrenaline system is working overtime.
08:40They've almost got nothing to lose.
08:43I wanted to jump out and try to catch one of the empty lifeboat falls.
08:48Jack Thayer has been on a dream holiday in Europe with his parents.
08:57They've got separated in the crowds, and now that dream has become a nightmare.
09:02I couldn't just jump.
09:05We might hit wreckage or a steamer chair and be knocked unconscious.
09:09Milton dissuaded me.
09:12Milton Long, a 29-year-old American law clerk,
09:15And Jack had struck up a conversation many hours earlier in the dining saloon,
09:20and now they find themselves facing this life-or-death moment together.
09:26So many thoughts passed through my mind.
09:29I thought of all the good times I'd had.
09:33Of all the future pleasures I'd never enjoy.
09:37My father.
09:43My mother.
09:46I was watching myself as though from some far-off place.
09:54Sincerely pitied myself.
09:55Back in the wireless room,
10:14Jack Phillips has stuck to his post right to the end,
10:17even when Captain Smith has said it's every man for himself,
10:21because he believes he's doing something useful.
10:23He's spent the last few hours trying to communicate with other wireless operators,
10:28oblivious to everything going on around him.
10:32And his junior, Harold Bride,
10:33is deeply loyal to and respectful of Jack Phillips.
10:38The sea has almost reached the wireless room,
10:42and they have just minutes before it's filled with freezing water.
10:47I was back in my room, getting Phillips' money for him,
10:50and as I looked out the door,
10:53I saw a stoker or somebody from below decks
10:57slipping the life belt off his back.
11:01You know, I remembered in a flash the way Phillips had clung on,
11:04how I'd had to fix that life belt in place because he was too busy to do it.
11:09I felt a passion not to let that man die a decent sailor's death.
11:13I did my duty.
11:28I hope I finished him, I don't know.
11:32We left him on the floor of the wireless cabin.
11:35He wasn't moving.
11:36I climbed on top of the officers' quarters.
11:46Yet I saw the last of Phillips.
11:50Jack Phillips is absolutely overwhelmed by the impossibility of this situation.
11:56He, uh, disappeared, walking aft.
12:03He doesn't say goodbye, he doesn't give any explanation,
12:06there's no clap on the back to his junior.
12:08He's done everything, there's nothing more to do.
12:11The man is ready to die.
12:13At this stage, all the lifeboats on the boat deck have been launched
12:29and, of course, there's a panic that there are no lifeboats left.
12:33But there is actually two more stashed away on the roof of the officers' quarters.
12:38Collapsible A and B.
12:43I saw the boat and the men trying to push it off.
12:54They couldn't do it.
12:56I went up to them, lending a hand.
13:01The collapsible lifeboats were very much a secondary option
13:05which would need to be rigged so they could be used.
13:07Now, the crew are trying to launch them
13:13in increasingly difficult and desperate conditions.
13:19Just then, the ship took a slight but definite plunge.
13:22The sea came rolling up.
13:29And a large wave washes collapsible A and B overboard.
13:34You've just been given that hope.
13:36But in amongst the chaos, the lifeboats are stolen from you by the elements.
13:41And that is just devastating.
13:43The big wave carried the boat off.
13:48I had out of an o'clock and went off with it.
13:55Water was washing right across the deck.
13:59And we were in water right to our hips.
14:03Another lurch threw myself off and away from the ship into the water.
14:08I fell into a mass of people.
14:17I was underwater.
14:19I knew I had to fight for it.
14:23The temperature in the water is minus two degrees.
14:27So as soon as that cold water hits the body,
14:29there's a shock reaction.
14:31And the mind is reacting in a state of panic.
14:34Everything I touched seemed to be woman's hair.
14:42Children crying.
14:45Women screaming.
14:49Their hair in my face.
14:54If only I could forget those hands and faces that I touched.
14:58The ship was sinking on its head very quickly.
15:13The water was right up to the bridge.
15:16The crowd moved with it.
15:18Pushing towards the stern.
15:22A site that doesn't bear dwelling on.
15:26To stand there above the wheelhouse.
15:29Watching the frantic struggles to climb up the sloping deck.
15:33Unable to even hold out a helping hand.
15:40We were a mass of hopeless, dazed humanity.
15:45Trying to keep our final breath until the last possible moment.
15:49I nuked the futility of following that instinct for self-preservation.
15:57It would only be postponing the plunge and prolonging the agony.
16:05Turning to the bridge, I took a header.
16:07Striking the water was like a thousand knives being driven into one's body.
16:19For a few moments I completely lost grip of myself.
16:23We were at the starboard rail to keep away from the crowd.
16:33The ship began to shoot down fast.
16:36The water rushing up towards us.
16:39We had no time to think.
16:41Only to act.
16:42We wished each other luck.
16:45Then we jumped up on the rail.
16:53Milton looked up at me and he said,
16:55You're coming, boy, aren't you?
16:58And I said, uh, go ahead.
17:11I'll be with you in a minute.
17:14And then you'll let go.
17:24The people who choose to jump are ultimately the people who take
17:28some form of control in a situation where you are powerless.
17:48We were about five minutes away from the ship.
17:54But we could still see it as the light stayed on.
17:58The ship stood almost on its nose, slowly sinking.
18:06The people on the Titanic were yelling and crying.
18:15I could see some of them as they jumped into the water.
18:17I could see some of them as they jumped into the water.
18:28I found myself drawn against the grating, covering a ventilator.
18:37The pressure of the water glued me there.
18:42The shaft led to a stokehold, a sheer drop of 100 feet right to the bottom of the ship.
18:50I struggled and kicked for all I was worth.
18:54It was impossible to get away.
18:57As fast as I pushed myself off, I was dragged back.
19:02Every instant expecting the wire to go, to find myself shot down into the bowels of the ship.
19:11The shock of the water took the breath from my lungs.
19:20Down and down I went, spinning in all directions.
19:25The cold was terrific.
19:27Most people think of drowning in a circumstance like this.
19:32It is that ultimately your body runs out of energy.
19:34But actually you can drown as soon as you first hit freezing water.
19:38There is something called cold water shock and part of the reaction is to have a big intake
19:44of breath and that prepares you for action.
19:46In the case of hitting cold water, it is not in your favour to have a sharp intake of breath.
19:52Some may have cardiac arrest almost immediately because of the shock.
19:57I was still fighting when a blast of hot air came up the shaft and blew me right away from
20:06the air shaft and up to the surface.
20:16Finally I came up, my lungs bursting.
20:22The ship was in front of me, suddenly the second funnel seemed to be lifted off.
20:31The funnel started to fall right amongst the struggling mass of humanity already in the water.
20:40It missed me by only 20 to 30 feet.
20:44The suction of it drew me down.
20:48Those poor people were sucked down in those funnels.
20:55Like flies.
21:00As I came to the surface, my hand came against something.
21:04One of the collapsible lifeboats.
21:06It was floating in the water, bottom side up.
21:10About four or five men clinging on to her.
21:14So I asked them to give me a hand up, which they did.
21:18Sitting on my haunches, holding on for dear life.
21:22It was as though hours had passed since I left the ship.
21:28People like Jack and Officer Lightower are swarming onto Collapsible B, upside down, using
21:33it like a raft in the freezing water, just as a way of trying to survive.
21:41The end was very close.
21:56Something in the bowels of the Titanic exploded and sparks shot up to the sky.
22:03Two other explosions followed, dull and heavy, as if below the surface.
22:10The impact was so great, it shook the waters.
22:16And we thought our lifeboat would sink.
22:18Everyone screamed.
22:20The huge weight of seawater in the bows and in the stern meant that the two things were unable
22:29to remain as one part.
22:32The whole superstructure of the ship seemed to split.
22:36The lights suddenly go out.
22:38And then darkness falls.
22:40The Titanic broke in two before my eyes.
22:54The full part mullered over and disappeared instantly.
23:00The ship seemed to right herself.
23:04Like a hurt animal with a broken back.
23:07A strange hallucinatory moment.
23:14It looks as though everything's going to be fine because the weird, wonky, distorted angles
23:21of the great ship start to settle.
23:24There's people that think that some sort of safety feature has kicked in.
23:29You know, at least this half of the ship is going to somehow survive and those on board
23:33are going to be spared.
23:34But ultimately that is short-lived.
23:36I saw the Titanic go up in the air, ever so big.
23:46Huge ship reared herself on end, rudder and propeller clear of the water, till at last she
23:53assumed a perpendicular position.
24:00We saw groups of the 1,500 people still aboard, clinging like swarming bees.
24:09The contents of the Titanic is now falling through it, and tragically people as well.
24:16I think it was only at that moment that many of those poor souls on board realized their
24:22fate.
24:23If we're going to die, I said, it would be best to die gripping something.
24:30We gripped the rail.
24:32A sharp exclamation from my husband.
24:46My god, she is going now.
24:53The steamer without a sound, except for the shrieks of the people still on board, stood right
25:03on end.
25:08Stood there several moments, and slid straight down into the water.
25:18As easily as a pebble in a pond.
25:23Our proud ship.
25:24Our beautiful Titanic.
25:30Everyone around me on the upturned boat breathed the two words.
25:37She's gone.
26:02I did not wish to see her go down.
26:15I'm glad that I did not.
26:19My back was turned to her.
26:24We were pulling away.
26:25This is his ship.
26:28This is his company.
26:30And there is intense professional and personal shame here.
26:35I think that was just too overwhelming for him to be able to look.
26:44Probably a minute passed with almost dead silence and quiet.
26:49Then an unforgettable cry went up from fifteen hundred despairing throats.
27:04Bedlam of shrieks and cries.
27:09A nightmare of both sight and sound.
27:16Hearing desperate disembodied voices in the darkness of the ocean.
27:23A cacophony of tears and shouts and despair.
27:29It's almost like a soundscape of hell.
27:32Potentially it's your husband, your brother, your father, your loved one's voices.
27:38I don't know how you recover from that.
27:41I've never heard such screams from the hundreds of people floating about us.
28:00They were piercing.
28:19It was a horrible row.
28:20One young man near me shouted, Mother.
28:26Mother.
28:27Mother.
28:28Mother.
28:29Mother.
28:30Mother.
28:31A man alongside me, clutched me round the neck.
28:36I choked him off.
28:37Nobody knows how they'll react in that circumstance.
28:49You're surrounded by others in a panic with you.
28:51You begin to lose the function of your arms, the function of your legs, the thing that you need to keep afloat.
28:57And that can happen extremely quickly because that body's reaction to keep your vital organs warm is so powerful.
29:05And it's painful, like you are being tortured, essentially.
29:13The people in the lifeboats are sitting and listening to others die.
29:19And everyone's response to that trauma situation will be different.
29:26We chatted of little unimportant things, as people do when they've been through great mental strain.
29:33We try to make feeble jokes.
29:38I remember I teased Miss Frankatelli.
29:41Just fancy, you left your beautiful nightdress behind you.
29:49And we all laughed.
29:53Though in our hearts we felt very far from laughter.
29:59Never you mind, Madam.
30:01You were lucky to come away with your lives, said one of the sailors.
30:06Don't you bother about anything you had to leave behind you.
30:10Lucy's comments sound tone deaf to us, but I think they're a trauma response.
30:15It is far easier to comprehend the loss of a beautiful piece of clothing, she's a fashion designer, of course, than it is to wrap their heads around the extraordinary horror of the loss of human life that they're seeing before them.
30:39For those in the water, a fatal countdown has begun.
30:45Once severe hypothermia sets in, you've got about 15 minutes until you become unconscious.
30:52When I was wounded in Afghanistan, I knew that that helicopter was coming.
30:59But if you don't know that a rescue is imminent, how long are you capable of holding on for?
31:06A large number of people gave up the struggle and were content to die, for the water was so cold and there seemed no help but rescue.
31:18When the darkness starts to creep in on you, that's when you have to have a real word with yourself and remind yourself that you still have some fight in you.
31:27I swam as always in a race.
31:37I got myself away from the crowd.
31:41Behind me, there was the horrible volume of groans, which...
31:49I can hear them now.
31:50I came up to my chum, John Bannon, and I said,
31:59Cheerio, Johnny.
32:01And he said,
32:04Am I right?
32:07Then he told me he had seen a flashlight some distance away and pointed out the direction.
32:14As I went off, I cried out.
32:18It was so long, Johnny.
32:29Poor chap.
32:34He was drowned.
32:45It was a terrible sight all around.
32:48Men swimming and sinking.
32:51I saw a boat of some kind and I put all my strength into an effort to swim to it.
32:56It was hard work.
32:59I was all done.
33:01When a hand reached from the boat, pulled me aboard.
33:06Collapse will be, that had been stored on the roof of the officers' quarters, was washed off deck and is now the last hope of the men who jump from the Titanic.
33:20Among the 30 men on Collapse will be, we have Howard Bride, Jack Fayre, Eugene Daly and Charles Lightoller.
33:27Others came near, nobody gave them a hand.
33:31The bottom-up boat already had more men than it would hold and was sinking.
33:37We were very low in the water, standing, sitting, kneeling, lying in all conceivable positions.
33:45People came up beside us and begged us to get on this upturned boat.
33:54Saving ourselves, we were obliged to push them off.
34:01One man was alongside us and asked if he could get up on top of it.
34:07We told him that if he did, we would all go down.
34:09His reply was, God bless you, goodbye.
34:18To look another human being in the eye and say to them, you're going to have to perish.
34:24Like that is an impossible thing, not just to live through in the moment, but then to have to live with.
34:30There are 1,500 people in ice-cold water in the Atlantic and there are some lifeboats that are full to capacity and there's nothing they can do.
34:43But there are many others that are even less than half full.
34:46There are less than 700 people in the lifeboats.
34:52Because the 18 lifeboats are not at capacity, there's still space for over 400 people.
34:58It could save them from almost certain death.
35:04Within the lifeboats there's an intense dilemma.
35:06Do they go back and save people or do they stay at a safe distance so that they don't get overcrowded and everyone in that lifeboat end up in the water?
35:18These boats are fragile. They're in the middle of this vast sea.
35:22There's already been tragic and terrible, huge loss of life.
35:26This is their one and only chance to survive.
35:29Three times an officer ordered his men to turn about.
35:36But each time they were prevented from doing so by some of the passengers.
35:42They grasped the oars so that the seamen were forced to give up turning back to rescue any of the unfortunates.
35:49In the Duff Gordon boat, one of the crew members says it's up to us to go back and see if we can pick anyone up.
36:01The Duff Gordons object. They say they'll be swamped and they persuade the crew not to go back.
36:07At the later inquiry, Cosmo Duff Gordon said, it's difficult to say what occurred to me. I was minding my wife and we were in a rather abnormal condition, you know.
36:21I find it chilling that the Duff Gordons are just openly hostile to letting anyone in their lifeboat.
36:26All along, they have been given privileges that other people haven't been given.
36:33And to die slowly in ice cold water within earshot of people who might save your life, I think there's a particular cruelty to that.
36:45Men and women were going to their death beneath the icy waters of the Atlantic.
36:50But I noticed in a hazy, detached sort of way.
36:57I've gone through too much in those aisles to think clearly.
37:03Lucy's talking about trauma here.
37:05She's talking about going through so much emotion that she's effectively shutting down.
37:09She's so traumatised, she's not able to get out of her own experience enough to engage with what those people in the water are going through at that time.
37:20The partially filled lifeboats standing by, only a few hundred yards away, never came back.
37:34Why on earth they did not come back is a mystery.
37:39How could any human being fail to heed those cries?
37:42I think it is extremely unfortunate the lifeboats didn't go in and start to rescue people.
37:51They were willing to sit with people screaming and dying in the water, and I find that quite surprising.
37:57We're highly attuned to other people's emotional expressions.
38:01Out on the lifeboats, it's dark and they're quite far away.
38:05So not seeing those faces may be one way of distancing themselves from that suffering.
38:10I became so numb I could hardly swim.
38:20My head was so queer.
38:21But when I was almost at my last gasp I shouted,
38:30Boats are high!
38:32Only off chance that one might be near.
38:36I had room for a dozen more people in my boat.
38:43But it was dark.
38:46We didn't pick up any swimmers.
38:50We all like to think that we'd be the noble one that does the right thing.
38:58But that's not how survival works.
39:01Ultimately as human beings we are animals who have survived.
39:06That's how we've evolved to be what we are.
39:07So survival instinct is absolutely within our DNA.
39:10And so you have no idea what you are capable of until you are pushed to an extreme.
39:16Disasters reveal an aspect of your personality that you might not know is there.
39:21And you might not like being there.
39:23To save your own life, to let hundreds of people die,
39:26I think that's something that would weigh heavily on you for the rest of your life.
39:32Perhaps a thousand.
39:34Perhaps more.
39:38I've gone down with her.
39:45There's a cluster of lifeboats closer to where the Titanic went down.
39:57Including lifeboats 14 and 4.
40:00And this is a kind of case of right place, right time for some people in the water.
40:05Fortunately, my shout was heard.
40:09Over here!
40:11I was hauled into lifeboat number 4.
40:13About seven people are rescued because of that boat, including Thomas Dillon.
40:21I think I'd been 20 minutes in the water.
40:26I was told afterwards I was unconscious for a long time.
40:30I was not properly right when I came to.
40:34Thomas Dillon survived because he's young and he's fit.
40:40But by the time he's picked up by the lifeboat, he's got early symptoms of hypothermia.
40:45I would rather die a hundred times than go through such an experience again.
40:53Mr. Lowe went in search of other lifeboats.
41:00He found four or five and took command of the little fleet.
41:03The whole of you are under my orders.
41:04Lifeboat 14 is very full, but Lowe realises that actually if this group works together, they have a chance of being able to launch a rescue mission.
41:17He ordered that the boat should be linked together with ropes to prevent any drifting away.
41:35They were able to redistribute those passengers and they actually free up an entire lifeboat, which allows them to go in and search for survivors.
41:48I went with just the boat's crew, no passengers.
41:55Of course, I had to wait for the yells and shrieks to subside, for the people to thin out.
42:05Officer Lowe is very aware of the potential risks.
42:09You can be capsized when trying to pull survivors into the vessel.
42:13The vessel can be swamped, but they choose to go back.
42:18They're not just survivors in this moment, they continue to be crewmen.
42:21Their sense of service, particularly those that had a military background, ultimately outweighs their sense of survival.
42:30Your training just kicks in and you have a responsibility to those around you, even before yourself.
42:36I searched the wreck thoroughly and found four persons.
42:40One was a Mr. Hoyt from New York.
42:44He was bleeding from the mouth.
42:48I loosened his shirt so as to give him every chance to breathe.
42:53But unfortunately, he died.
42:56I suppose he was too far gone when we picked him up.
43:10Most of those who jumped in the sea died within a quarter of an hour.
43:14The awful moaning ceased after that.
43:18We saw nothing but ice into our bodies.
43:28I remember the very last cry.
43:30It was a man's voice calling loudly.
43:35My God.
43:37My God.
43:45I think it would have been very haunting to slowly hear fewer and fewer voices.
43:50And that's one of the most traumatic memories that people had, is the sound of those screams.
43:55The air was leaking from under the boat, lowering us further and further into the icy water.
44:17Soaking wet, freezing, the pack of huddled men on Collapsible B have survived so many odds.
44:27But that's all for nothing if nobody comes to your rescue.
44:30And they don't know if that's coming.
44:32Some lost consciousness and slipped overboard.
44:37Every wave threatened to swamp us.
44:44The problem with trying to stay on an upside-down boat, which you're now using as a raft, is that it's not stable.
44:51This is a balancing act, literally, to save your life.
44:55Every bit of strength and spirit from every one of those men on that boat raft was going to be about staying alive.
45:02Their class differences ceased to be important.
45:07We've got men from first class, men from third, crew members, united by this will to survive.
45:13We prayed.
45:16And sang hymns.
45:19Harold Bride helped keep our hopes up.
45:23He said time and time again, the Carpathia is coming as fast as she can.
45:28Carpathia is coming as fast as she can.
45:31Lytoler found his whistle.
45:37After desperate calling, we got the attention of the other lifeboats.
45:46Two of the boats realized the position we were in and drew toward us.
45:51They had a right-side-up boat.
45:58And it was full to its capacity.
46:01Yet they came to us and loaded us all into it.
46:05Officer Boxall took some green flares from the bridge and now he's lighting them, hoping that he will attract the attention of the approaching rescue vessel.
46:26Time will be standing still.
46:36All they can do is sit in the boats and wait.
46:39About this time, the edge of the sun came above the horizon.
46:57To feel that glowing warmth, which we'd never expected to see again, that's something never to be forgotten.
47:09I have no idea of the passage of time during that awful night.
47:23We were all very tired when we saw a big light.
47:30Suddenly a flicker of hope.
47:40A ship getting closer every minute.
47:44Coming towards the site of the wreck and the lifeboats bobbing about in this freezing, empty sea, finally, is the Carpathia.
47:59She's come as fast as she could through the ice flows, through the night, responding to Jack Phillips' distress calls.
48:06Nothing has ever looked so good to me as the lights from the Carpathia.
48:23Even through my numbness, I began to realize I was saved.
48:30That I would live.
48:36That I would live.
48:39She stopped maybe four miles away.
48:45The task of rowing over to her was one of the hardest things we had to face.
48:50At last, the Carpathia was alongside and people were being taken up by rope ladder.
49:11One man was dead.
49:12I passed him and went up the ladder.
49:24The dead man was Phillips.
49:28He had died on the raft of exposure and cold, I guess.
49:31He stood his ground until the crisis had passed and he collapsed.
49:45Only I could have slipped more clothing on Phillips.
49:47More to safety.
49:50One man's dead.
50:04When I was wounded, three people lost their lives.
50:06Because I know what it's like to trawl over in your head the what could I have done.
50:10could I have done and ultimately life is unpredictable you know you live or you die
50:18and you cannot change that fate but learning to live with that it takes time
50:26no survivor knows better than either cruelty of disappointment
50:39I had a husband to search for
50:45a husband whom I believed would be found in one of the boats
50:54he was not there
51:03I let myself be saved because I believed he too would escape
51:24I sometimes envy those whom no human power could tear them
51:34from their husband's arms
51:37what do you remember of the Carpathia?
51:44uh consoling
51:50and being consoled
51:55my friends were all among the missing when the role was called
52:03the loss affected me badly
52:10the big narrative is always going to be about heroism and loss and sacrifice
52:24but the titanic was a disaster
52:28these are real people's lives that are lost
52:34real people who suffer
52:37so
52:48MUSIC CONTINUES
53:12The engineers were the heroes, I think.
53:15They kept going until minutes before the Titanic ran out of sight.
53:19Not a man of them was saved.
53:26In 1912, it was taken for granted
53:29that the price of a first-class ticket
53:31included a greater likelihood of surviving.
53:34It was seen as a reflection of the natural order.
53:41What the Titanic teaches us is what happens
53:44when people's lives are given unequal value.
53:49Every element, from your breakfast
53:51to how you're treated in an emergency,
53:53all of that is impacted by class and hierarchy and status.
53:59This happened in an age where
54:01the British stiff upper lip was stiffer than ever.
54:04But the reality is, it doesn't matter how resilient you think you are,
54:07sometimes we're just not capable of processing that level of horror.
54:13Personal trauma was not recognised.
54:15You just suffered and you carried on.
54:18Those people who survived,
54:20they were just now going to have to pick up their lives
54:22as best they could and manage.
54:25These are searing memories that never leave them.
54:28And the grief was huge.
54:31But I like to imagine that there were those
54:33who felt that this encounter with death
54:37made them live the rest of their days more fully,
54:40and that they owed it to those who died to live.
54:44Which is cool?
54:45They're not good if...
54:47So we're gonna have to break it down.
54:48To manage life with death.
54:50We were about to make a difference
54:51and we're gonna have to make a difference in a moment.
54:52But it's gonna have to make a difference
54:53in this moment.
54:54And you're not gonna have to make bad decisions
54:56when a body of death,
54:57it's gonna have to make good decisions.
54:58And that is what we're gonna get.
54:59And that's what we're gonna have to make a difference.
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