Baylen Out Loud - Season 2 Episode 02- The Ticcer
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00:00Goddamn!
00:03My name is associated with a lot.
00:05Listen, no one's safe.
00:06No one is safe.
00:07I can tell you that.
00:09It's not bad.
00:10It's just, oh, my god.
00:12I have Tourette syndrome.
00:14you, bitch.
00:18And me and Colin are not married yet.
00:23Do you guys let the alpacas be at weddings?
00:27We haven't started a single thing.
00:28No wedding planning done.
00:30Yeah.
00:30Nothing.
00:31So that's the first thing we're thinking about,
00:33is if alpacas are coming.
00:35Because you haven't really asked me for any help,
00:37so that's our first child that's engaged to be married.
00:42I would love to be super involved.
00:45Can we talk?
00:46Yeah, honey.
00:47OK.
00:48This is about me and my dad, because I need clarity.
00:53I heard that Colin asked for y'all's blessing,
00:56and you said that there was no blessing to give.
01:00I mean it to be like, I'll do whatever Baylen wants to do.
01:03That is my blessing.
01:04That is my like, hey, if Baylen's OK, we are OK.
01:08What's really sunk in that, now it's them.
01:11It's not her.
01:11It's them.
01:13We have been talking about our marriage,
01:17and it started with some premarital counseling.
01:22I thought everything was fine, but this is definitely a curveball.
01:27So I don't want you guys to be offended,
01:45but I think some premarital counseling would be a good tool to have.
01:50Right now, I feel weird that my parents are bringing up premarital therapy.
01:57I'm sure this wasn't the birthday gift Colin was expecting.
02:00What the hell?
02:02It's not to test your fit.
02:05This isn't like, let's see if we fit, and if we don't, we're breaking up.
02:08That's not, that's not the-
02:10And you and dad did this?
02:11Yeah, that's not the-
02:12It was a requirement to get married in church.
02:14It was a requirement in the Catholic diocese.
02:16You know, like we want you guys to really like, get everything that you can-
02:22Get as grounded as possible.
02:24That's exactly it.
02:26I finally feel like things are in a better place with the DeBreeze.
02:30It's my birthday, we're all getting along and having a good time,
02:33and then premarital counseling popped up, and it's a complete shock.
02:38That's important stuff.
02:40It really is.
02:41Because life is tough.
02:42Yeah, it is.
02:43You add children, and-
02:45them kids.
02:46It doesn't hurt to kind of tackle some of the other intricacies that will come into play as
02:52your marriage develops over the years.
02:54I know that Alan and Julie are always just trying to help, but I just hope that they don't
03:01think Balen and I's relationship is not a healthy relationship.
03:06All right, guys.
03:08It's getting late.
03:09Thank you for having us.
03:10I appreciate you guys for coming.
03:11Yes.
03:12I was like nervous about saying anything because I didn't want you to be offended.
03:15Please don't be offended.
03:16I don't feel offended.
03:17I don't feel offended.
03:18I want you to be the opposite of offended.
03:19I want you to be like-
03:20We want you to be able to-
03:21They want us, they want it to work.
03:23I think this suggestion could be perceived a little harshly, only because Al was a little
03:30tough with Colin.
03:32I'm very confident that Colin is committed to Balen, but I do have some reservations about
03:38how healthy and happy the relationship will be if you don't make sure that you're growing
03:45together as a team.
03:47So what do you think?
03:51Of the marriage counseling?
03:54Are you offended?
03:58Um-
03:59It's hard to read you sometimes.
04:00It's our relationship, our marriage.
04:03And given the history, like it's not always been like a easy pathway with your parents.
04:11You know that.
04:12It's been kind of rocky.
04:13Okay.
04:14I think it really just comes down to her parents being really overprotective and wanting the
04:23best for Balen.
04:24And I feel like I'm trying to do everything in my power to show that to them, that I want
04:30the same thing, that we're on the same page.
04:33And sometimes it just feels like it's never enough.
04:38I just appreciated them bringing it up personally.
04:41Mm-hmm.
04:42Because I didn't look at it as a bad thing.
04:47Okay.
04:48I think for right now, I just want to take some time to think it over.
04:53Maybe talk to my parents, family members that may have done something like this,
04:59and kind of get their opinion on it as well.
05:12Good morning, everybody.
05:13Good morning.
05:14Today we're taking our first tour of a possible wedding venue.
05:25But before we leave, I need Colin's help putting in hair clip-ins that I bought.
05:30Get out of here!
05:33Can I have some help here trying to section this?
05:36Help doing what?
05:37Do you know how to section?
05:38No, I do not.
05:39Okay.
05:40I don't know how you do your own hair.
05:43It's called I wake up, put water in it, and I go.
05:46You bend over the sink, and you .
05:48Put water in it and go.
05:50So a few months ago, I asked Colin to trim my hair.
05:53Because I was like, you know what?
05:54She's looking a little bit dead.
05:56And that led to my hair being chopped off.
06:07Colin.
06:08Yeah?
06:13They're just over here.
06:17To help my baldness, I got webbed-in hair extensions.
06:23I am now Luscious Goldilocks, okay?
06:25I feel like I just added life to my head.
06:32I was more relaxed at the salon, and so I wasn't ticking as much.
06:36But the next day, I was yanking on my extens- my weave.
06:40Goddamn!
06:42I was pulling on my hair extensions to the point where it was painful
06:46because the webbed-in extensions is sewed into your head.
06:50I had them for a solid two weeks before I had to get them taken out.
06:56So tease the hair.
06:58Mm-hmm.
07:03Now I'm trying to clip-in extensions, which I hope don't set my ticks off as much
07:07because I can take them out when I need.
07:10Get all that out of here.
07:12F**k.
07:13F**k.
07:14F**k.
07:15F**k.
07:16F**k.
07:17Okay.
07:22Weenie.
07:23Oh, oh, oh.
07:25Okay.
07:26All right.
07:27All right.
07:28Chase after the weenie.
07:29Doing Baylin's hair and trying to put these hair clip-ins into her hair.
07:34It's a struggle.
07:36Yeah, it's a struggle.
07:37It's especially hard for me to sit still getting my hair done, getting clip-ins.
07:44Just sitting still in general is not good.
07:46Is not good.
07:48It's not working.
07:50So no to the hair.
07:52This isn't working.
07:53We're saying no to the hair.
07:54Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
07:56Okay.
07:58Just add hair to the list of things that are more complicated when you have to wrap.
08:03I'm excited that we don't have to do this for another two hours and we can go and see our wedding venue.
08:08First question.
08:09Do you guys allow alpacas?
08:10And no?
08:11Walk right out.
08:13Thank you, everybody.
08:25I know we've looked at a lot of wedding venues online.
08:28I can't make up my mind with what I want and what I like, but I mean, I'm not the biggest fan of indoor.
08:38Today we're going to look at an indoor wedding venue and I don't really know if I'm going to like it because like I want like scenery in the background while we get married.
08:49I think that we should be open to an indoor wedding venue because thunderstorms trigger Balen's anxiety and make her Tourette's worse.
08:58No.
09:00No.
09:02If it were to somehow thunderstorm on our wedding, it would just make it easier if everything's already indoors.
09:11One of those.
09:15Chuck's bald.
09:16It is actually.
09:17Okay, you bald-alicious queen.
09:18Okay.
09:20Dumbass.
09:22State law bull.
09:24518.
09:25Exit.
09:27One way.
09:29Traffic.
09:30Info.
09:31Call.
09:33I'm losing my mind.
09:35Why am I on this side?
09:36Just don't look at this thing.
09:38Oh no, I'm sponsored by Joe Biden!
09:41Just look down.
09:43Look down.
09:45When I see road signs and I repeat them, it's because of my lexolalia.
09:50Lexolalia is a complex vocal tick that can also be associated with many other conditions, but also can be included in Tourette.
09:58I read something, then I vocalize it as a tick.
10:01So have you thought any more about the premarital counseling?
10:05I personally don't have a problem with trying the therapy.
10:09Yeah, it just makes me think that, like, your parents think our relationship isn't as good as it is.
10:16They brought up premarital therapy out of the love that they have for us.
10:23Yeah, but, okay.
10:24What?
10:25If someone gets involved in our relationship or marriage too much, where does it end?
10:33There's gotta be a line that's gotta be drawn somewhere.
10:36Yeah.
10:37Where does it end?
10:38Am I marrying Bailyn?
10:39Or am I marrying Bailyn, Julie, and Alan?
10:43Are they gonna be over every single day, involved in our household every single day?
10:49Or are we gonna be able to have our own marriage and family?
10:52I mean, I would love to have my parents over every day.
10:56I mean, I'm not even gonna lie.
10:57Family's really, really important.
11:00Are you okay?
11:01What?
11:02You just said, I would love to have my parents over every single day.
11:06Is this what our marriage is gonna be like?
11:09Are your tics okay?
11:14Yeah, I'm gonna take my shoes off, because you see how it's, like, around my ankle.
11:18When I hold my tics in at the venue, later on, they will all come out at once.
11:23I'm experiencing a dystonic tic in my foot and in my leg.
11:27So when my foot's locked, I'm twisting my ankle to the point where I want to snap my ankle off.
11:36Come on, Bex!
11:40Oh my god!
11:41This is actually our team mascot.
11:44The ticker!
11:45That's me! The ticker's here!
11:54You just said, I would love to have my parents over every single day.
11:58Is this what our marriage is gonna be like?
12:03I know how close you and your parents are.
12:06Close, dick.
12:07But you're becoming more independent, and do you think your parents being so involved is them not being able to fully let you go?
12:21I don't think they ever will.
12:26I do think that my parents hold on a little bit more because of my Tourette syndrome.
12:32It's gonna be a constant juggling act throughout our relationship.
12:35I hear you.
12:36I do see where my parents are coming also with the premarital therapy because the relationship has worked out and they've taken it.
12:48Have your parents taken it?
12:49My parents did take it.
12:51They went through the church, but they did do something similar.
12:56So I talked to my mom about premarital counseling, and she thinks that it would be good for us.
13:03However, I still am on the fence about everything.
13:06I mean, what if it opens up stuff that we just aren't ready to deal with?
13:11So, I mean, let's make the best of it, and maybe it could end up being really helpful.
13:16Oh, that's it right there.
13:29It's so pretty.
13:33So, Crystal View is about 30 minutes away from where we live.
13:37At this point, we really don't know what we want versus what we don't want.
13:40We're really just kind of looking at all the options to figure that out.
13:46This is even better than the website.
13:48It's so pretty.
13:51You know how to work one of those?
13:55I'm going backwards into the revolving door because I don't want to touch it because of my OCD and having a fear of germs.
14:04I'll wear, like, long sleeves to purposely, like, touch things.
14:08Or you'll just wait 10 feet back and wait for me to open the door.
14:11Yeah, yeah.
14:14Okay.
14:17Oh, my gosh.
14:22This is pretty.
14:24Where do we even go?
14:25My first impression of the wedding venue when we walk in is breathtaking because of the stairs and the flowers and everything being white.
14:34But it's very echoey.
14:37And with my tics, it just makes me very insecure.
14:42Hey, Colin.
14:43Hey, Galen.
14:44How are you?
14:45Nice to meet you.
14:46Nice to meet you, Amanda.
14:47How are you?
14:48Nice to meet you.
14:49Welcome to Crystal View.
14:50Lots of bling.
14:51Lots of bling.
14:52Lots of glam.
14:53We love our chandeliers.
14:59I don't think we've had anybody get married here that's had Tourette's Syndrome.
15:02But we are aware of tics.
15:03And I think it's important with our knowledge to create an environment and an atmosphere that's comfortable for that individual.
15:11And that's what focused today.
15:14When did you guys get engaged?
15:16Last year.
15:17I love it.
15:18I love it.
15:19So you've had some time to think.
15:20Have you thought about colors, theme, anything for the big day?
15:22I love where it's, like, very colorful.
15:24Yes.
15:25And very bright.
15:26And I love oranges and pinks.
15:27She loves flowers.
15:28Yes.
15:29I love flowers.
15:30I'm obsessed with flowers.
15:31Perfect.
15:32I found a baby pink dress that I really, really liked.
15:34No.
15:35And I showed him and he was like, no.
15:37So I was like, okay, well, I guess that's it.
15:40There's certain things that can have color and then other things.
15:42And I listen.
15:43You're not showing up in a pink dress.
15:44And I listen.
15:45Or a purple dress.
15:46Like, it's just not going to happen.
15:47But I listen.
15:48That's the thing.
15:49It's like, if he says, I don't really want to be in a pink tux, I'd be like, okay, can we have a pink bow tie?
15:55So there's different ways that we incorporate it, but I don't really want the wedding.
16:00What?
16:01Nothing.
16:02Fine, I'll stop talking.
16:03So the ceremony space is really a hop, jump, and a skip from your reception space.
16:11Welcome.
16:12Okay.
16:13I call it the Bridgerton Room.
16:16No, I'm kidding.
16:17Pretty much.
16:18The vow exchange is typically in between the mirrors and then theater-style seating on both sides of the column.
16:24And then the magic fills in all the gaps with the florals and the columns and all the beauty.
16:29Yeah, that's nice.
16:30This place is really fancy-smancy.
16:33It is very blingy.
16:34It is very blingy.
16:36Can we see the reception space?
16:38So let's head on that way.
16:39All right.
16:42You okay?
16:44I can definitely tell that Baylen's holding in her tux.
16:47I don't want her to go through that.
16:49I always want her to feel free and be herself.
16:51I still want to see the rest of the venue, but this does make me think that this might not be the right one for us.
16:57Here's the ballroom.
16:59Welcome to the grand ballroom.
17:02Oh, wow.
17:04This is massive.
17:05This is definitely grand.
17:07It's really nice.
17:08I like these chandeliers, too.
17:10I have a question.
17:11Yes.
17:12Have you guys ever had alpacas at a wedding?
17:14Absolutely.
17:15In the tent outside.
17:16Yes.
17:18The bride made the exact same face on that day.
17:21Have they been allowed inside?
17:23No.
17:24That's not a deal breaker.
17:25I told Colin, I said, deal breaker?
17:26No alpacas.
17:27Yeah.
17:28We're having a white horse for an upcoming event.
17:30So we love animals here.
17:31We love animals here.
17:32We don't like horses.
17:33I'm petrified horses.
17:34Oh, okay.
17:35Sorry.
17:36He's like, yeah.
17:37Let's get all the horses.
17:38Let's ride horses in here.
17:39We'll stick to alpacas for now.
17:40We'll stick to alpacas for now.
17:41That would be sick wedding photos.
17:42Yeah.
17:43Us on a horse?
17:44You love alpacas that love to kick people.
17:47I like horses.
17:48The one animal that I'm more than afraid of is a meaty horse.
17:53Like, your mom's a whore.
17:55Marlene's a dirty, filthy horse.
18:00Marlene's Colin's mom.
18:02Yeah.
18:03I feel like I just heard Marlene and heard the word whore,
18:06and that's how we integrated.
18:08So we won't be going down to see her until the tick goes away,
18:11actually, because I don't actually want to make eye contact with her
18:15when I say that, so.
18:16Thank you guys so much.
18:17Thank you so much.
18:18Thank you so much.
18:20Lots to talk about.
18:21Have a great day.
18:23I think we can go up this one.
18:25All right, so.
18:26How did you feel about everything?
18:28I feel like you already know what you want to say, so go ahead.
18:31Um, it's too glam for me.
18:34It was great that they allowed, like, the alpacas.
18:40Mm-hmm.
18:41But, like, I want, like, instead of, like, the place to be luxury,
18:45like, we make it look luxury, if that makes, like, any sense.
18:49I feel the same way.
18:51I think it's just a little bit too boozy for us.
18:54Boozy, boozy dick.
18:56Boozy, boozy.
18:57Definitely Crystal View.
18:59I can, I can see the name now.
19:01Yep.
19:02The crystal, really.
19:03Crystal math.
19:04Joe Biden does crystal math.
19:06Joe Biden and JB do crystal math together in my basement.
19:13That's a crazy combo.
19:16JB is the head of photography, and he is always in my peripheral vision.
19:21So, that is where the tick comes from.
19:28Our director of photography right here doesn't do crystal math.
19:33Yeah.
19:34Nailed it.
19:35Whore.
19:36Wh-H hockey sticks O-R-E.
19:40Ow.
19:41You okay?
19:52I'm gonna, I'm gonna take...
19:53Are your tics okay?
19:54Yeah, I'm gonna take my shoes off, because you see how it's, like, around my ankle.
19:58When I hold my tics in at the venue, it's incredibly painful.
20:02It's uncomfortable, and later on, they will all come out at once.
20:07I'm experiencing a dystonic tick in my foot and in my leg.
20:12It's basically like a locking and a twisting.
20:15So, when my foot's locked, I'm twisting my ankle to the point where I want to snap my ankle off.
20:20Rainy.
20:24During the tour, did you hold your tics?
20:26Maybe a little bit, because I started ticking, and it was, like, echoing, and I was like, okay.
20:32My wedding day has been something that I've always dreamed of, and me holding in my tics would look like a disaster.
20:40Your mom's a filthy, fat whore.
20:44I could have a tic attack in front of all my guests, because it's pretty much bound to happen when I hold my tics in.
20:49Hmm.
20:53Between my Tourette's, I have Tourette syndrome, stupid, and my OCD, obsessive compulsive tic,
20:59I'm not like every other bride.
21:01So, who knows what we have in store for us.
21:09Me and Colin just looked at our first wedding video.
21:13Pailin's my first kid getting married, and as a mom, I've poured my heart into her.
21:21So, a little part of me feels like a tiny bit left out.
21:25Oh!
21:48Come back!
21:49have a good rest of your day with my tics i don't drive so today i took a ride share from dc to
22:01beckner's baseball game it's his first game of the season and i haven't been to one of his games
22:06in a long time because there's a lot of things that will set my tics off for example i purposely
22:11miss the beginning of the game because the silence during the national anthem is a huge
22:16trigger for my tics i tend to just be cussing away and everyone's just looking my way so
22:23there's a rhyme for the day oh my god and all that rhymed
22:28you kevin hey baby hi but these are parents with beckner's team all of those people know my mom
22:38all those people know that i have tourette so it's a safe space and i'm here to support beckner
22:46how was your trip you shop the whole way here you did what i shopped the whole way here on my phone
22:53of course shocker yeah becky's playing shortstop hi vector oh my gosh double deck zero that's where
23:05he's playing glove yeah yeah only becks would pick out a pink glove yeah he used to play center field
23:11but now he's um shortstop we need to get him pink cleats too no he's fine
23:14how would you describe that nerd loud confident he's a lot
23:23heard you guys talking about me no make room
23:25you're going in the middle okay
23:31i heard you were saying something about my confidence what's wrong with it nothing nothing
23:38is wrong with this you love it
23:40all right come on back oh back okay got a little star in the fan yeah did it actually hit the fence
23:54did it
23:55it means a lot to me to have been at my game because she hasn't been to one in like a year
24:06so i've improved a lot like i'm at top notch right now
24:09so what's new with you what have i been missing out on me and colin just looked at our first wedding
24:15video it was beautiful a little bit too bougie too glam they had 260 000 crystals
24:25balen's my first kid getting married and as a mom i've poured my heart into her so a little part
24:35of me feels like a tiny bit left out another reason why it just really didn't work out was i
24:42held my tics in to the point when when i got out my legs locked and i don't know why i held them in
24:49other than the fact that i was like echoing through the whole place oh like well that is
24:56that's like awkward though that you felt it necessary to be holding them in honestly it
25:03wouldn't hurt to get back in to see dana and talk to her about some of these concerns just to like
25:09readdress with her dana is balen's cbit therapist and cbit is a technique that balen uses to manage her
25:17tics when you have that urge to say an obscene word breathe in through your mouth and out through
25:23your nose that sensation will go away it's just hard to like get there i know that balen still
25:31meets with dana virtually but i also think it would be smart for her to plan an in-person session soon
25:36that's a good idea i'm gonna schedule another appointment with dana dana so speaking of therapy
25:43how are you feeling about premarital counseling well me and colin are gonna do it so okay it
25:50hasn't started but i mean i have high hopes about it i feel this deep sense of relief that they're
25:56going to give premarital counseling a try and i think that they'll be glad that they did it
26:00oh it's all right way to hit the ball guys becker's team lost yep they lost i'm so glad that you
26:10ride shared here and came to this i know it's not easy i know it means a ton to beckner to have balen
26:17at his game the two of them are a lot alike with their anxiety and then certain behaviors that beckner
26:24is starting to exhibit thank god he has baseball right now because i think baseball really keeps
26:29his mind in a place where he can put some of that on the back burner combo you did so good
26:36you assume you almost hit it out yeah we did and i i love your pink glove i know right
26:43did you like hear her yeah you did you heard her before i saw her you heard her before you saw her
26:51of course that's our baby this is actually our team mascot the ticker that's me the ticker's here
26:59we should change her name what mascot would i even be uh a mockingbird oh i'd be i'd be a parrot
27:12i'd be a parrot do you still want to play baseball i'm getting drafted out of middle school
27:17one million dollar deal no if i ever make it that's gonna be like 90 million okay yeah maybe if we make
27:25it to the car yeah we can make the 90 million happen get out of here only 90 that's not a lot
27:34of money max you're you're so full of yourself i love you though do you have anxiety about therapy
27:42today i have a little bit of anxiety therapy for the first time balen and i are headed to
27:47premarital couples counseling we're going in there completely blind so it's really hard for you
27:52to express your emotions does it feel kind of overwhelming
27:56what the heck too
28:16i'm taking my mom's advice and i'm meeting with my cbit therapist today
28:26i haven't seen dana in a while because of the engagement moving some things that help manage
28:34my tics other than cbit are having headphones on or listening to music
28:39being around my dogs however with my wedding coming up and not wanting to say certain tics
28:48it's so important that i meet with her to get the right tools to not have those tics happen
28:55my name is dana wachter i'm a registered nurse certified in cbit therapy cbit is an acronym for
29:09comprehensive behavioral intervention for tics so i love your apartment it's beautiful thank you
29:16do you want to do that's your flair i would love to okay sweet okay we have the bar stools because
29:21the backs of the chairs like set like my tics off to like lean my head back so instead of having
29:28anything there it helps because i can like hold on to very good the things the stovetop is electric
29:33but i also learned that um i need a stove cover because i don't want to break the stovetop right
29:41we also have plastic everything tick proof seeing balen's progress i am so proud because i always
29:50reflect back to our first meeting she was in tears she couldn't control her tics she was ashamed by them
29:56so she's come such a long way it's so rewarding to see so what did you want to work on today i would
30:03like to work on dick my um yeah my goddamn on your goddamn yes absolutely i've had my
30:17tick for a long time but i don't really know what set it off it's either from a movie
30:25or something that someone said but i definitely don't want to say it on my wedding day so
30:32so typically we would recommend using a competing response whenever an urge comes on we'll review
30:40your reverse breathing when you breathe in through your mouth and you hold it and then you breathe out
30:46through your nose and the reason why you're reverse breathing is you're fighting with speaking by
30:52breathing in through your mouth it makes it impossible
30:55how do you feel like i didn't need to say my ticket beautiful
31:06now sometimes what happens is if you're speaking
31:11and you feel an urge to have a vocalization to stop and do a competing response interrupts the natural
31:18flow of speech right so it's okay to do a less intense version of the tick such as whispering
31:25the tick like i can do it without saying it but just make like exactly or you can camouflage it as
31:33you on if you want that's awesome i never thought about that yeah i practice my seba exercises
31:41pretty much every day but it's a lot to do deep breathing or masking
31:49for every tick and there will be times where i do hold in my tics when i feel uncomfortable
31:54so me and colin went to look at a wedding venue it was completely indoor and i was just echoing and i
32:02also did suppress to the point where when we left the wedding tour my legs were locked up from like
32:08motor tics yeah from almost like holding in all my vocal from hearing the echoing remember we also want
32:15to eliminate triggers maybe go look at venues that are outdoors so you won't have that feeling of being
32:21trapped almost like a claustrophobic maybe type feeling yes that would be eliminated if you were
32:27outdoors i'm excited to look into that and remember you you have your c-bit therapy in your
32:34back pocket you can use those competing responses as you see fit whatever feels comfortable for you at
32:40the time yeah thank you for coming all this way thank you so much you've come so far i want you to
32:46focus on that you live on your own now that was big for you so i'm so proud of you keep up the good work
32:51sometimes the c-bit sessions with dana can be difficult if my tics are bad today's went well
32:59but i would like to do more as the wedding gets closer so i can be the best version of myself on my
33:05big day
33:22hey how are you i'm good oh how was work that was good
33:30i just got off work and balen and i are headed to premarital couples counseling yay i'm going from
33:38one therapy session to the next i um have my c-bit session with dana today how'd that go it went well
33:47one thing that dana reminded me of is that c-bit is all about removing triggers and remember when we
33:54went to the wedding venue it was kind of like setting my tics off or making me feel like i had
33:59to suppress in a way now that we know that it's a trigger i would just not like to see any more indoor
34:07venues yeah no i get it i think an outdoor venue would probably fit finding the perfect wedding venue
34:15is like a moving target trying to avoid the triggers of thunderstorms i have a gun by looking
34:23at an indoor wedding venue only created more triggers that we were unaware of so i know that
34:30we both filled out the assessment form what do you think is going to be something that we should
34:37probably focus on there's so many questions do you mind do you remember one uh i know the questions
34:43there's a lot so the therapist sent over an assessment for us to complete before we got there
34:49there was a lot of questions there was like a hundred questions i know there was a lot of sex questions
34:54okay there was i remember that's the only thing i remember i don't know how they were worded i just
35:00remember it was like one after the other was it like how often are you doing it or like literally
35:04problems in the bedroom literally literally literally kind of both both kind of both does your
35:09partner not please you or like do you not please your partner is there ever times that
35:17one person's more pleased than the other and you're upset or just like any type of specific
35:22question like that was on there is that an issue with you guys no why'd you say it like that
35:31because i'm nervous i don't like talking about it
35:44this guy can a whole bag of suck a whole bag of colin sorry suck a whole bag of
35:52suck a whole bag and that's how ticks start ladies and gentlemen right there right there suck a whole
36:01bag of sorry suck a dude's honking
36:05just don't say anything else suck a whole bag of i got it should we bring this up in therapy
36:21do you have anxiety about therapy today i have anxiety yeah i have a little bit of anxiety for
36:27therapy for the first time no okay good for you i'm super nervous right now all right we're here
36:38let the therapy begin alan's bald we're going in there completely blind like we have no idea
36:57you
37:03hello hi hi your room is so nice thank you it's so nice to meet you hi colin are you a hugger
37:13too nice to meet you sit wherever you'd like my name is amy becknall i am a licensed professional
37:19counselor i've been practicing for the last 11 years specializing with couples for the last eight years
37:27how does it feel to be here today i was a little nervous before getting here
37:32just therapy scares me okay my parents came to him and i and said that they did premarital counseling
37:39basically kind of as like an avenue to grow the relationship together so anyway to just
37:46make our marriage as strong as possible yeah that's a really good motivator bitch
37:53i've never had a client with tourette syndrome what i know about tourette syndrome is that it is a
37:59neurological disorder so balen and colin might have a little more of a challenge than your typical
38:06couple but i'm really grateful for the opportunity to sit and establish a safe space for balen and colin
38:13to be able to open up so that they can share really vulnerable pieces of their relationship
38:20so before you came here today i sent you an assessment to complete a premarital assessment
38:26that was able to highlight your strengths as well as some growth areas and i'm just curious what were
38:32some areas of strength that really popped out for you do you recall it's definitely not communication
38:38definitely not communication it's definitely not communication okay you seem pretty confident in
38:43that yes because i'm very bad at communicating okay tell me more like everything like everything that
38:49i can be like i don't know how to like express my feelings and then i also struggle with like
38:55everything to do with vocally like everything so does it feel kind of overwhelming yeah okay yeah
39:03and stressful how frequently do you feel like everyone okay like every day yeah just don't get myself
39:13it's fine yeah is this bringing up some emotion for you yeah okay yeah yeah this wasn't supposed to
39:21happen i mean i was on board for therapy of course i was but i wasn't expecting to be in a puddle of
39:28tears in five minutes but i guess that's what therapists are for is to actually say something
39:34how about you colin did anything come up for you that you thought would be important to bring up together
39:40um i think i don't know like i guess like
39:53i've been holding on to something for a while now and it's not easy to say out loud because i know it's
39:59going to affect balen it's something that's been a burden and i can't keep pretending that it's not
40:05i am having a girl's night
40:21girls night with the twist twist that dick around wrap it slap it tap it that dick holy
40:27i look like beckner this is the first time that i've had a solid tight group of girlfriends it's
40:35great
40:38here soon i have to make like a career decision that is a super heavy burden that i guess i could say
40:46that i have so what's colin's plan after he gets out of the military he doesn't obviously know because
40:52he knows you can't work a normal job i think there's some tension between my siblings and colin
40:57because my siblings are very very protective of me
41:04valen i want to show you something that's that we got outside okay my dad's been bugging me to come
41:10by the house to see something and i have no idea what it is what he doing yeah what are we doing
41:17what the hell is that funny no i'm being serious
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