Baylen Out Loud - Season 2 Episode 08- Saddle Up!
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00:00I mean, yeah, because like, like when I'm up in the big leagues in the MLB,
00:06they got to see this glorious face.
00:08My jawline got to be perfect, you know?
00:15I really want to get in shape before the wedding.
00:18I've gained 18 pounds that I cannot lose.
00:22Find a class that you want to do.
00:24I'll do it with you.
00:27What?
00:30We're riding horse heads on a stick.
00:34Try to look upright. Don't look at the horse.
00:37Ride the horse.
00:40Yeehaw.
00:42So what's the latest with couples counseling?
00:45We're in therapy right now discussing dad.
00:48Why are you discussing dad?
00:49Colin really wants a relationship with dad, and he's scared.
00:54It has been a little bit surprising to find out that they have been talking about Colin and Alan.
01:00We still need to have that conversation with your father.
01:14I think it's really important for there to be boundaries.
01:18You just don't want to hear you should do this job.
01:21I'm going to make whatever decision I'm going to make, and I don't care what anybody else has to say.
01:26I'd hold your dad.
01:28A little bit of what you said to me.
01:29Yeah, where am I at in therapy?
01:33Uh, so...
01:34Speaking of therapy...
01:51Where are we at?
01:52What do I got to do?
01:53As we talked about in therapy, me and Colin need to set these boundaries for us.
02:01But I'm terrified that my parents will take it as a...
02:04Rejection.
02:05This is why I hate confrontation, because it feels like there's so much...
02:09To lose.
02:11But seriously, what's the deal?
02:14Like...
02:14There's no deal.
02:15I'm here to discuss setting some boundaries, especially around my career after the military.
02:28I do understand the reasoning on why they keep pushing for a staple job with good health care.
02:34Nah.
02:35But with that said, I also want to be able to choose a career that ultimately makes me happy,
02:43and also still be able to provide for me and my family.
02:52So, in therapy, we were talking about stressors and things like that in life,
02:58and for the past, like, four months, I've been, like, really stressed about what am I going to do
03:06if I get out of the military, knowing that, like, whatever decision that I make
03:11is not only affecting me, but her and potentially our future family.
03:17So, it's just, like, a lot of weight on my shoulders,
03:20and I know that you feel very, like, strongly about, like, health care
03:25and, like, making sure that I have a really good health care program
03:28with whatever job that I choose.
03:31And that made it super difficult to, like, try and come to a decision
03:38on what I wanted to do
03:40because I really have decided to go in the direction of real estate.
03:46When I hear that Colin wants to go into real estate,
04:09my first impression is, has he ever sold anything?
04:13Are you a salesman?
04:14I don't think it's the most stable in terms of income
04:18and steady income and things like that.
04:21For Balen and Colin, my biggest concern is medical insurance.
04:27She's on our plan for a time being, and that doesn't last very long.
04:34Balen has a lot of medical needs,
04:36and we don't know if those will dissipate anytime soon.
04:39There are ways that we can still have health care
04:42and good health care benefits,
04:44but it's just really where I see myself being the happiest
04:48and something that I can be really successful in.
04:52I'm just hoping you guys can still respect that decision.
04:55So, that's really it.
05:03All right.
05:04Well, I'll give you my spiel.
05:07My best answer is, like, have a plan.
05:10Say to yourself, I'm going to work on this for this long,
05:13and if I don't make what I want,
05:15I don't know how much longer I'm going to work towards it.
05:18Right?
05:18My opinion would be, have a set amount that you need to make in a year.
05:24Like, this is the minimum I am willing to make
05:27so that it doesn't put too much stress on Balen
05:30and what she has to do and for her health.
05:33Like, either I can feed the kids or I can't.
05:37It's one or the other.
05:42Julie and I get it.
05:43Like, we want you to be happy,
05:46but things change in relationships.
05:48Things change in your life,
05:50and we want you to be kind of prepared, have a plan,
05:54understand what the future can bring you.
05:57And in case real estate doesn't take off in a few months
06:00or whatever their time frame is,
06:02we would feel a lot more comfortable
06:04if they had a solid backup plan.
06:08Real estate might be a struggle.
06:10Getting calls and getting up and showing people houses
06:12and learning about when's the last time the roof was done
06:16and answering hundreds of questions
06:17about structures and homes and HOA fees and all.
06:21You might be like,
06:22oh, I didn't know it was going to be like this.
06:27It's a long road to that dead end,
06:29and by the time people realize that it's a dead end,
06:32they've wasted half their life,
06:34and they're trying to go back,
06:35and they need to run out of time.
06:36So all the great, wonderful, happiness dreams of whatever,
06:40they're in the cemetery.
06:41Their names are written on tombstones.
06:43So if this doesn't work out, what are you going to do?
06:51Come up with something that you have as a backup plan as well.
06:54We came here to be able to set boundaries,
07:00and here we are where I'm being told
07:03that I need to have a backup plan for real estate.
07:07And trust me, I get it.
07:09They just want to make sure that she's taken care of.
07:12Take a deck.
07:14But nothing's ever really going to change
07:16if they just can't trust us to be able to make our own decisions.
07:19Moving forward, like, please, like,
07:23if there's something we can do, Julia and I,
07:25to help you, tell us.
07:27But when you guys go to your therapy sessions,
07:30focus on yourselves.
07:32Forget about me.
07:35All right.
07:36I think it's time to head on back.
07:38Yeah, we have to go get the doggies
07:41and check on the babies.
07:42All right.
07:42You can get caught on us.
07:44I know, but then I feel bad bringing them back.
07:46Whatever you need, all right?
07:48Yeah, I appreciate it.
07:49No worries, all right?
07:50Yeah.
07:50I love you.
07:52It appeared to me by the end of the night
07:54that they were both pretty receptive
07:56to our thoughts on his career change.
08:01But that could be different when they get in the car
08:04and they start bouncing ideas.
08:06They're, you know, everyone's lens is different,
08:08so maybe they just did a good job holding it together.
08:11I don't know.
08:11After that conversation and everything,
08:20like, how are you feeling?
08:22Regarding, like, my dad,
08:24it doesn't surprise me that he said a plan.
08:27It's very valid.
08:28Like, you...
08:29I can't be making $30,000
08:32and be expecting us to live off that.
08:37We have three dogs.
08:37If we ever want to start a family,
08:39we would be paying for health care out of pocket.
08:42It would just be really hard.
08:43It wouldn't...
08:44It would be very, very difficult.
08:46Your dad, do I think that
08:48I'm going to still feel pressures from him?
08:52100%.
08:52I know that they probably don't agree
08:56with my real estate decision.
08:57I understand where Julie and Alan are coming from.
09:02I know it's not going to be easy,
09:04but it's something that I want to do.
09:07I truly believe that this is what is best for me and for us,
09:12and I don't quite understand why I need a backup plan
09:16when I don't plan on failing.
09:18For me, I could not go to bed at night
09:22knowing that I didn't provide the best plan forward.
09:26Well, they have to find a balance
09:28with chasing this so-called happiness that he says,
09:33which I completely understand.
09:36Happiness is looking in the mirror and saying to yourself,
09:38I was able to have a paycheck and work some overtime,
09:43or I got a medical plan,
09:44or I have a life insurance policy,
09:46so if something happens to me,
09:48my significant other isn't going to struggle
09:50with my children in the future.
09:52That's why I try to explain it in a way
09:54where he can understand,
09:56because at first I thought to myself,
09:59this probably ain't the best decision
10:01I haven't heard in the last five years.
10:04I know for my four boys,
10:06that would be a hard no.
10:09This career change is a little bit of a gamble.
10:12Oh, 100%.
10:13But Dan supports it.
10:14She supports him, so we support him.
10:19We really are always towing the line
10:22between being, like, supportive and firm,
10:25but not overstepping.
10:27But for lack of better words,
10:30it would probably be irresponsible
10:32for him to not have a backup plan,
10:34because things are always going to come at you
10:36that you can't plan for.
10:38So if you have some idea of where you're going to go next,
10:40at least, you know, it's something to work with
10:43instead of nothing.
10:50My neurologist gave me a referral
10:53to start exposure response prevention therapy.
10:56Would you want to work on your fear of horses?
11:00What is kind of, like, the goal?
11:03Dick.
11:04We're going to get to a place
11:05where you can ride the horse.
11:06I do not think that I'm going to get on a horse today,
11:10because I'm petrified of horses.
11:12More deep breaths.
11:15Bitch.
11:30You like the pink dog carrier?
11:32No.
11:32Oh, why?
11:34Because none of our dogs want to stay in here.
11:36Fluffy does.
11:37Fluffle Puffle likes it.
11:38But you said, why are we carrying fluff?
11:40I like it.
11:41You look good in pink.
11:42Yeah.
11:43Thanks for taking me out to dinner
11:45for my birthday last night.
11:47With all the expenses from the wedding coming up
11:50and us trying to save money,
11:53me and Colin decided that I would have my birthday
11:56just between both of us
11:57with a cute little dinner
11:58and a cute family walk with the dogs this morning
12:01with the fluffer.
12:03Hi, Ken.
12:04Hi, little man.
12:05I'm not taking much today
12:08because the walk is so peaceful and calming
12:11that it just has been helping with my tics.
12:14Do you really think that our dogs
12:17are going to be able to walk up the aisle
12:19at our wedding?
12:19No, they'll need training.
12:21That's something that we're going to have to talk
12:23to our wedding planner about.
12:25All right, serious question.
12:28Who's going to be the best flower girl
12:29out of the two of you?
12:30I'm excited to work with the wedding planner.
12:42We need a lot of help.
12:44We need a lot of direction is what we need.
12:47My parents recommended that we get a wedding planner.
12:49We've been doing a lot of research
12:51and we really liked this person named Shannon.
12:54We're really hoping that the wedding planner
12:56can help us with one, everything.
12:59The only thing we've gotten done is the venue.
13:02There's food.
13:04There's alcohol.
13:05There's flowers.
13:05There's hair and makeup.
13:06There's transportation for their guests.
13:09There's...
13:09There's a lot, everybody.
13:11There's a lot of things we need to do.
13:12We don't need to list them all.
13:13We have a lot.
13:14Get a horse.
13:16Oh, my God.
13:16Save a horse, ride a cowboy, mother...
13:18Ride the horse.
13:22It's so pretty.
13:24It's really pretty.
13:25This walk was a perfect way to work out.
13:27Don't have to touch anything.
13:28Don't have to worry about anybody's germs.
13:31I do feel like working through my fear of germs
13:34is the only way to get through everything, though,
13:37because I don't want to be like this forever.
13:39Like, I do want to be able to go to a gym,
13:41and the only way to go to a gym
13:43is to put myself into a gym.
13:46I've always had OCD,
13:48but recently my OCD has manifested itself
13:51into having a problem with germs,
13:54and touching gym equipment
13:56that's shared with other people
13:57is just too much for me right now.
14:00I feel like I'm at my peak.
14:02I'm at as much as I can take.
14:04I kind of just think that
14:06I'm going to get all the germs
14:08and get sick and end up in the hospital
14:11or get sick and even die.
14:14Dr. Flaherty, my neurologist,
14:17gave me a referral
14:18to start seeing Dr. Russell,
14:20an ERP therapist.
14:22It's exposure response prevention therapy
14:25for my obsessive-compulsive dick
14:28for my OCD.
14:29Exposure therapy.
14:31Yes.
14:31I really want to resolve my fear of germs.
14:35Mm-hmm.
14:35Is there anything you can think of?
14:38Well, I mean,
14:40if I'm going to
14:41want a horse in our wedding,
14:44would you want to work on your fear of horses?
14:50Would you at least
14:51ask if it's something that you could work on?
14:54I mean,
15:01yeah.
15:04Yeah, I can ask her.
15:06It's something that needs to be worked on.
15:09Okay.
15:10Yippee-ki-yay, mother
15:11I really appreciate
15:16Vaylin being willing
15:17to confront her fear of horses
15:19just for me.
15:20I mean,
15:21I'm doing it for me, too.
15:23I'm doing it for me, too.
15:24I mean, I'm just saying
15:25that's a tough thing to do.
15:27I wouldn't be able to work through
15:28one of my fears.
15:29I don't want to be near
15:31the things that I'm afraid of.
15:32Yeah, I know.
15:33Me either.
15:34Me either.
15:34Me either.
15:35Yep.
15:36Pumpkin wants to go in this water so badly.
15:39What if we just, like,
15:40give him a little dip right now?
15:41Come on!
15:46Oh, yeah, he don't like it.
15:47He knows how to swim, though.
15:49You're not going with me.
15:50I know you know how to swim.
15:54Oh!
16:07Penny!
16:11You're going to sit in bed with me
16:13and do something.
16:14What?
16:15What are you doing?
16:16Hmm.
16:16Come on.
16:17I just want to go over a few things.
16:19The venue stuff.
16:20Yes.
16:20So I want to just be able to start
16:22writing some things down,
16:24things that are helpful for them,
16:26because I think that they're clueless.
16:28I'm kind of clueless, too.
16:29But I know that they need to get
16:30the show on the road.
16:32And I'll make sure that
16:33the wedding coordinator
16:34knows what she's doing.
16:37We can't be sure that
16:38Bailen and Colin listened to everything
16:39advice-wise that we give them,
16:41but they did pick out a wedding planner.
16:43Thankful for that.
16:44Definitely thankful for that.
16:47Right now,
16:47I'm really just making a list
16:49of things that I think are important
16:51for them to go over with her,
16:53things that maybe they just
16:54wouldn't think of.
16:55So hopefully that they will be able
16:57to use this as a reference
16:58when they speak with her.
17:00Just listen.
17:01Okay.
17:01Right, food.
17:02Okay, food.
17:02Next to food.
17:03Okay.
17:04Just write desserts.
17:06Okay.
17:06Underneath that,
17:07put transportation.
17:09How many people are staying local
17:11or are traveling?
17:12How are people getting to your hotel?
17:14Are we ride sharing?
17:15Who's doing the photos?
17:19Is this going to be random,
17:20done by iPhone?
17:21Oh, doggies.
17:22Yes, that's a big one.
17:23How, like,
17:24who's watching them that night
17:25when...
17:26That's what I mean.
17:26Where are they going?
17:27When they're trying
17:28to Christian the marriage.
17:35Hilarious.
17:36Okay.
17:36F***ing hilarious.
17:38I mixed up the word a little bit
17:39and made it sound
17:40a little bit more Christ-like.
17:43It's not very Christ-like
17:45to do stuff before marriage,
17:47but everyone's doing stuff,
17:49I guess.
17:49I don't know.
17:50Like...
17:51I don't know.
17:52I don't know.
17:53I don't know.
17:54Next round of questions.
17:55Moving on,
17:56next question.
17:57I'm thinking, like,
17:58responsibilities of
18:00the bridesmaid and groomsmen.
18:02Like, there's a lot
18:03that Sammy, I think,
18:04has to do
18:04as the maid of honor.
18:06She does all the dress stuff.
18:07And that's kind of a big deal.
18:09I just know it's going to be
18:11a lot for her.
18:13So we definitely have to
18:15incorporate Sammy.
18:16but...
18:18I don't know.
18:22It's getting harder
18:23for her to come here,
18:24and I think I used to look at it
18:26that it was, like,
18:27the flying.
18:28The flying is a small piece
18:30of the puzzle.
18:31She has...
18:33honestly, crippling anxiety.
18:36In an ideal world,
18:38Sammy would have a whole ton
18:40to do with the wedding planning
18:42because that's what
18:43the maid of honor does.
18:44I know Sammy would love
18:45to be super involved,
18:47and she is so detail-oriented.
18:48But it's really
18:49just not realistic.
18:51I can't just drive down the road
18:53and see you, you know?
18:53So it's kind of like
18:54I feel bad
18:55that I can't be here sometimes.
18:57With my anxiety
18:58and OCD and traveling,
18:59I feel terrible.
19:02Like, I just can't
19:02shut my mind off.
19:04Like, I know she needs us.
19:07Right?
19:07Right?
19:07Right?
19:12Her brain, I think,
19:17is exhausted
19:17at the end of each day.
19:20So this just adds to it.
19:23But I know that
19:24she wants to help Valen.
19:26I mean, I don't like
19:27being far from Sammy.
19:31I would just like
19:32to be able to
19:33hug her
19:34and help her.
19:40Yes.
19:42Anxiety and OCD
19:53seems to be, like,
19:55a common thread.
19:57I see it in Valen
19:59and Sammy,
20:00and we're obviously
20:01keeping a close eye
20:03on Beckner.
20:05Okay.
20:07Good?
20:08Yeah, good.
20:10Mm-hmm.
20:10Unfortunately,
20:12right now,
20:14it seems like
20:15we need to put
20:15a little bit more
20:16attention
20:17into Sammy
20:18because
20:19her condition
20:20seems
20:21almost a little
20:22bit stronger.
20:24That's our job
20:25as parents,
20:25to keep a watchful eye
20:26on all of our kids.
20:29She's always been
20:30the strong one,
20:31so she just doesn't
20:32like to be vulnerable.
20:33Like, let us do
20:34something to help you.
20:36We can make sure
20:36everything's perfect
20:37for you, too.
20:47Hey.
20:48All right.
20:53I'm fine.
20:55I know.
20:55I don't like horses.
21:04They can throw you off.
21:06They can kick you,
21:08bite you.
21:09Everything about them
21:11is scary to me.
21:12I want to back up.
21:14I don't know
21:15if I can do this.
21:16I know one thing
21:29and one thing only.
21:30I've done all my homework
21:31for this.
21:32What was the homework
21:33that Dr. Russell gave you?
21:34I'm supposed
21:35to look at horses,
21:37watch horses,
21:38so all I've been doing
21:40is looking at videos
21:41because we don't really
21:42live close to horses.
21:43The first session
21:44with Dr. Russell
21:45went really, really well.
21:47We kind of went off
21:48of my OCD
21:48and built a hierarchy
21:49for the things
21:51I want to work towards.
21:52So starting with
21:53horse therapy,
21:54we can build off of
21:55to go do other things
21:56like germ therapy
21:57that are more complex
21:59than horseback riding.
22:01Tell me a little bit
22:02about how OCD
22:03is controlling your life.
22:05What do you feel
22:05like are the most
22:06distressing parts
22:06about OCD for you?
22:08Like, I know germs
22:09because everything
22:10has to be wiped down.
22:11The dishes have to be done.
22:12I will clean
22:13the whole house
22:14before I even drink
22:15water in the morning.
22:17What ERP is going
22:17to really ask you to do
22:19is to really confront
22:21your fears.
22:22My other half
22:23is obsessed with horses
22:25and I'm deathly afraid
22:26of horses,
22:27but I'm like,
22:28it's one of the fears
22:29that can be changed.
22:31Yeah, absolutely.
22:32A big part of exposure therapy
22:33is actually getting out
22:35and doing this in public.
22:36I think this is
22:36the right next step.
22:37So today we are meeting
22:40up with Dr. Russell
22:42for my first ERP session
22:44with horses
22:44at a horse ranch
22:45outside of D.C.
22:47My therapist says
22:48you have to walk
22:49before you can run.
22:50Me facing my fear
22:51of horses and exposure
22:53is me walking.
22:55It's all practice
22:56for when I have to tackle
22:57my bigger fears
22:58and run with germs.
23:00This is how I build up
23:01my tolerance step by step.
23:02I don't want to say
23:04I'm not going to enjoy
23:05today, but
23:06not thrilled.
23:08Not thrilled.
23:11I know you are.
23:13These horses are going
23:14to be real nice.
23:16Mm-hmm.
23:16They'll want to just
23:17lick you.
23:18I don't want to be licked,
23:20so.
23:21Their tongue is massive,
23:23okay?
23:24Yeah.
23:24If their body's massive,
23:25their tongue is massive
23:26and I don't need
23:27that licked on me.
23:28Well, that's just
23:29a massive amount of love
23:30that they want to give you.
23:31Nope.
23:33The worst-case scenario
23:34for how this horse
23:35exposure therapy could go
23:37is that I don't follow through.
23:41Do you think that's the worst?
23:43What did you think
23:44the worst-case scenario is?
23:47Something traumatizes you
23:49forever.
23:51Okay, we don't need to.
23:52Okay.
23:53Okay.
23:54Okay.
23:55Okay.
23:56Oh, my God.
23:58I have a pit in my stomach.
24:00I really do.
24:01Yeah.
24:02Uh-oh.
24:15We're here.
24:17I'm very anxious
24:18as we're pulling in
24:19and I'm seeing horses.
24:21We're seeing people on horses.
24:22My heart rate is at
24:23at least 250
24:24because I don't like horses
24:26and we're pulling up
24:27literally to see horses.
24:28Oh, my God.
24:32The only way it is.
24:33Oh, my God.
24:39Oh.
24:39hey hey you want a hug yes okay hi see you this is nice to meet you so how was the drive-in
24:53anxiety driven but we're here i told you i said the only reason i'm here is because you're here
24:59so we're here well i'm here with you we're here we're gonna get this as balan rolls up today i'm
25:05already noticing she's feeling pretty anxious i can tell she's already anticipating some of the
25:10exposures we're about to do today in my clinical opinion i think balan's ocd is pretty severe
25:15however she seems incredibly motivated to work on it she's being really brave we're gonna do the
25:21exposure therapy today with the horses but we're gonna do one step at a time it's gonna be challenging
25:28okay so we're gonna start with uh we're just going to kind of introduce you to the horses i know that
25:34you even just kind of being around them scary for you so we're just going to kind of look at them
25:39from a distance and then kind of gradually get more comfortable being closer to them i'm going to be
25:44checking in with you with your suds do you remember the one through ten suds suds are subjective units
25:51of distress scale and it's on a scale of one to ten one being really no distress at all very calm
25:58relaxed ten feeling very distressed almost out of control once you kind of the suds level comes
26:04down i can tell they're a little high right now then we're going to take the next step and the next
26:09step and the next step so what is kind of like the goal where could she like end up at by the end
26:15of today deck we're going to get to a place where you can ride the horse that's the goal today hopefully
26:22i do not think that i'm going to get on a horse today because i'm petrified of horses they are
26:28extremely muscular they can throw you off they can kick you they can bite you just everything about
26:37them is scary to me
26:39so exposure one underway yes look at them yeah just look at them
26:47that one's talkative kind of like any animal noise that i can mock sets my tics off because
26:55it's just a trigger that i can't remove how are you feeling getting closer hi i want to back up
27:01okay i think we'll stay here for now
27:04this is like a good distance for you yeah okay what level are you feeling i want to cry
27:11hey it's okay how about we take a couple steps back okay okay it's okay
27:15i'm so overwhelmed this is moving way too fast this is all we're doing right now just this exposure
27:26okay i don't know if i can do this deep breaths okay more deep breaths
27:35bitch
27:37what level are you feeling i want to cry hey it's okay how about we take a couple steps back okay
27:56okay it's okay
27:58as ailyn sees the horses for the first time i can see that she's feeling a lot more distressed and
28:05i can tell that it's a little too overwhelming for her so we have her back up
28:09to a spot where she can engage with the exposure more okay what's your suds right now what number
28:15six six i'm like fine to look at them but not fine to get near them it's okay this is this is where
28:22we're at right now i knew she was afraid of horses but i didn't realize that this is the extent of
28:31how much she is afraid this might be goodbye to a horse at the wedding
28:35which one do you like the best i'm guessing the smaller one yeah the one with the mohawk
28:43the mohawk sparky and this is cocoa sparky and cocoa aren't those cute names yeah those are cute
28:50names that makes it better that makes it better the names of the horses seem to kind of soothe her a
28:55bit i can tell that she's feeling a little bit more relaxed i think it's always surprising the things
28:59that seem to calm people in exposures but this one makes sense you know she's such an animal lover so
29:05do you want to take another step yeah okay
29:07nope getting pretty close they're taking steps too
29:14hi
29:15okay i think the next step would be to hold your hand out okay
29:20scary but we're close enough that you know they can start petting them
29:27despite my fear i'm so determined and motivated to get through this and to conquer my fear of horses
29:35where does this one like to be pet on his neck or on his face right here right there
29:40yeah okay so i think that's what oh he thinks you have a tree because we're sticking your hand out
29:44oh my goodness hey look at his face right here
29:49wow okay you got it you're doing a good job balen
29:57or you can pet his neck yeah like right here you want to pet right here
30:01wow look at you go oh it sheds
30:05oh yeah he does oh yeah
30:07i like your little mohawk
30:11i'm very nervous however i'm very proud of myself that i'm able to
30:17touch the horse when seconds ago i wasn't able to
30:20and i'm just making sure that i'm not getting bit
30:23are you ready for the next step
30:28what is it can she lead the horse yeah how do i do that so you stand on the left side
30:34and you have your hand one hand right here and then one hand folding the other side of the lead
30:38rope so it doesn't drag come on sparky come on sparky
30:41look at you go
30:42if you want to turn him this way you can just walk your body this way
30:47oh we're going in the grass yes
30:51i am really surprised that i'm able to lead the horse
30:56when short minutes ago i was not even able to step forward to touch the horse
31:01it gives me comfort to picture sparky as my dog fluff
31:05a real big fluff
31:07meaty fluff
31:10a really really muscular fluff
31:14so cleaning the hooves wherever you want to start dr russell's definitely a taskmaster
31:21with these uh exposures and now i'm cleaning hooves hooves hooves hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
31:34eat a bag of dicks
31:38she's got me brushing the horse and i'm also brushing myself because it's setting off my tics
31:43look at your bum
31:46it feels really nice to not have something hold me back and to just leap over that wall of fear
31:52son of
31:53you're looking pretty comfortable i think you're ready
31:56next up
31:58saddle up
32:00i did not think i was going to make it this far today
32:04i am petrified
32:07to saddle up on this horse
32:09and gallop
32:10right now
32:11no one said you're galloping
32:12you just got to get on it
32:14yeah
32:15that's even scarier
32:17i'm a little bit scared
32:26because i'm petrified of heights
32:28and being on top of a horse just makes me go right to think
32:30i'm going to fall off the horse and i'm going to get hurt
32:32you got it
32:36oh my god
32:37and here's the reins if you want to grab them
32:39and you can hold on to the front of the saddle if you want to
32:42okay how are you feeling what's your number
32:47um like a 10
32:49okay okay we're just going to stay here for a minute
32:52okay
32:52and you can relax
32:55remember balen a lot of anxiety is anticipatory
33:07it gets better once you do it
33:09okay
33:09ready
33:13yeah
33:14yay sparky
33:22seeing balen get on the horse right now
33:26it just makes me so happy
33:27because i was going into the day
33:30thinking that she
33:31was not going to get on it
33:33was not going to ride it
33:35she was just going to
33:36maybe at most pet it
33:38so seeing her on that horse
33:40it really made me happy
33:41it's a good boy sparky
33:43this is definitely a lot better
33:47okay
33:48you just need your last call
33:51grab the horse
33:57i feel free
34:04trying around the arena with the horse
34:06probably for other people being on a horse is freeing
34:08that's not what was freeing for me
34:09freeing to me was like
34:11being able to be out of my thoughts
34:13and not being controlled by them
34:14so what's your size at
34:19honestly low
34:21like a three or four
34:23yeah you got it
34:24now that you've
34:25got to ride on one
34:28you think we could ride off one into the sunset after our wedding
34:30no
34:32okay
34:34i'm definitely more comfortable around horses
34:37if that that should have been your question
34:38the vision is i would love for me and you to ride off into the sunset
34:43damn
34:44well you could ride it with fluff to and punk
34:46no
34:47colin
34:48no
34:49thank you for being brave balen
34:50thank you so much
34:52i can do hard things
34:54okay you don't need to
34:55we don't need to do that
34:56we don't need that
34:57but i love you
34:58love you too
34:59food and dessert is like very big for us
35:06okay
35:06kind of like a semi-open bar
35:08i want alpacas
35:10alpacas
35:10a horse
35:11we need to manage expectations
35:16in thinking about your budget
35:18i think you're not gonna love what i have to tell you
35:21let me see that
35:28let me see that
35:30let me see that
35:30i'm excited
35:47wedding planners do this
35:48as their full-time job
35:50try and figure out like
35:52what fits and what doesn't
35:53yeah
35:54today we are meeting with our wedding planner shannon for the first time
35:57we're hoping to get a better understanding of everything and how far our budget will go
36:03i'm very thankful that my mom put together a list of important things that we need to discuss with our wedding planner
36:09it's a long list
36:12i woke up missing horses
36:15hello
36:22hi
36:23how are you guys
36:25nice to meet you
36:27can i give you a hug
36:29nice to meet you
36:31my name is shannon with shannon wellington weddings and events this is chris we are a wedding and event design and planning company and we've been doing this for about 15 years now
36:41our goal for today is to learn all about balen and colin and what their priorities are for their wedding day
36:48tell me more about your experience with weddings i know when we had talked briefly um balen you said you don't have a ton of experience at being in weddings or going to weddings
36:59nothing
37:00okay
37:01and how about you don what's your experience
37:02yeah i've been in or i've been to a few but nowhere close to like knowing how to plan for a wedding
37:09okay
37:10eat a bag of dicks
37:12while we've never actually had a bride or groom that specifically had a condition like tourette many of our brides and grooms have anxiety they have their own quirks so to say
37:24so we have to be able to kind of roll with it
37:27wedding planning can be overwhelming and stressful but it should also be really fun so why don't you guys tell me about what venue you've chosen because you found one that you love
37:40yes
37:41it's locked down
37:42yes
37:43perfect
37:44we've already put a wedding deposit down on our venue while the venue expense has eaten up a large portion of our wedding budget we still have high expectations for the rest of the wedding
37:55like flowers and food and my dress and colors so much fun stuff
38:00what drew you to this venue
38:02the views
38:03the views
38:04it's 360
38:05it's
38:06it's on top of a mountain
38:08okay
38:09it's in the middle of nowhere
38:10okay
38:11okay
38:12is there like a hotel nearby
38:14it's about 20 minutes
38:16to a hotel
38:17but we also need to work into the budget chartering buses
38:20right
38:21because they go up and down the mountain and I would rather do that than have anyone else drive
38:25I think the location of the venue that Baylin and Colin chose are definitely going to present some challenges in terms of fees
38:32travel fees
38:33exactly
38:34travel fees I mean if there's not someone extremely hyper local to the venue then most vendors are going to say okay like we'll come sure but for this you know additional price
38:45what are you looking forward to the most
38:48I think flowers would be number one
38:50okay
38:51food would be number two
38:53okay
38:54food and dessert is like very big for us
38:57okay
38:58anything like fun that you've seen that you like definitely want
39:02I want alpacas
39:03alpacas
39:04a horse
39:05you want to ride in on a horse?
39:08no he
39:09oh you want to ride in on a horse
39:10he does
39:11as far as the alcohol goes we're thinking kind of like a semi open bar
39:17have you guys ever done a queso fountain?
39:19a queso fountain
39:21I definitely want the dogs in the wedding
39:24to me that's a deal breaker like they're going to be in there regardless of if they're walking or if they're being held
39:30our dogs are not trained at all
39:32this is in the hard column
39:35we need to manage expectations
39:39so part of our job is educating them so that we can be like okay this is what reality is
39:46I feel like the theme is like we want a lot of food a lot of alcohol a lot of this a lot of that
39:53in thinking about your budget
39:56I think that it's going to be a little challenging to get to the point where we can have everything we want
40:05the moment of truth is finally here what if she tells us we can't afford our dream wedding
40:14I'm definitely worried that she's bracing us for some news we don't want to hear
40:18I think that you're not going to love what I have to tell y'all
40:25you got that baby fever going on
40:33I just want kids
40:36yeah now
40:37not now
40:38we get adjusted to the new lifestyle
40:40then we can get into the lab and maybe start cooking something up
40:44what?
40:46we're going to go wedding dress shopping this week
40:49but Sammy won't physically be there
40:52because of her anxiety
40:54Sammy could possibly not be here to enjoy that experience with Baylen and I
40:59to me that's the connection
41:01it's my girls
41:03I'm so excited but I'm so nervous
41:07today I'm pretty pumped about wedding dress shopping
41:10oh wow
41:12oh my god
41:16I hear the dry gang
41:19oh my gosh
41:23oh my gosh
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