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00:00Ooh, what's a bush bulletin? A bush bulletin! That's exciting!
00:05A bush bulletin? What's a bush bulletin?
00:07It's a laminated piece of paper that you read in the bush.
00:10Right. What is that?
00:12Big f***ing ant on your head. Ant on deck.
00:30How rude. Welcome.
00:36And among tonight's fallen stars, Idris Elba can't quite believe what he's hearing.
00:41Don't worry about it. You're amongst friends.
00:44Paul Rudd is faced with a disaster that takes the biscuit.
00:51And Steve Backshaw finds fans that are hungry for fame.
00:55What the f***? He just got my wensie.
00:58So let's commence the cock-ups.
01:05We start with a trip to Coronation Street, and it's their biggest plot twist yet.
01:11Faye'll never agree to that. You're not going to tell her, are you?
01:16Well, she's not going to find out, is she?
01:17Miley's her daughter.
01:19Yeah, and Miley's my granddaughter, and I want to see her.
01:21Tim, you can't do this.
01:22And I need you to promise me that you're not going to tell her.
01:24I don't think I can do that.
01:25Promised her, didn't you? And you're my husband.
01:27I'm not.
01:31Well, I did not see that coming.
01:33Well, you know, it's a modern world, isn't it?
01:35Thank you so much.
01:36Tonight, where Helen Skelton is in the beautiful Lake District.
01:43She's after money-saving tips to get away from this blissful calm and onto a cheap package holiday.
01:50Gosh, I can't imagine why.
01:51You look on a travel agent website, or one of the companies, and they're suggesting you go to Barcelona on this day.
01:58Yes.
01:58You're saying, go back and look yourself for those flights.
02:01Okay.
02:02Yeah, because it's giving you one hotel and one set of dates.
02:05But actually, what they're telling you is, there's deals to be...
02:11I don't...
02:12Wow!
02:13That's not a package flight.
02:16That was sensational flights.
02:18Whoa!
02:18Ah, so that's why she wants to get out of the lakes.
02:22Compared to here, even Magaluf would be quiet.
02:28Over to Emmerdale.
02:30And a scene so emotional, it made me reach for the tissues.
02:34If only Leila had done the same.
02:36You're the woman I love.
02:39And I love you so much.
02:41I do.
02:43So I'm...
02:44I'm going to go to rehab.
02:46For as long as it takes.
02:49I'm going to save this marriage.
02:54That's it, Leila.
02:55Why bother with a Kleenex when you can just use Dr Liam's lapel?
03:03Would you snot on me?
03:04Are you snotting on me?
03:05Such a...
03:06Such a...
03:10It's back to the 1980s.
03:12For Changing Ends, Alan Carr's sitcom about his childhood.
03:16There's an old showbiz saying, never work with children or animals.
03:20But in my experience, it's the adults you have to watch out for.
03:25Anything nice for lunch?
03:27I'm starving.
03:29Toast.
03:32Bit boring.
03:33When I had diarrhoea, Mum made a strudel and we watched the thorn birds.
03:37Little Alan is nailing it.
03:38He's a star in the making.
03:40Oh, well, at least do us a cup of tea, will ya?
03:49Sicky's never lived up to the Repspector.
03:51Sorry.
03:54Alan, how can you forget the lines you wrote them?
03:57I'm so sorry.
04:01Over to Love Island.
04:03My favourite.
04:04I just love, love, love.
04:06In this episode, Jesse is on a hot date with farmer Will.
04:11He's nervous, but some friends from work have come to give him moral support.
04:14Do alpacas spit on people?
04:17They do.
04:17Yeah, they do.
04:19I feel like I like a bit of...
04:23Sorry, what is that?
04:26It's wishing me luck.
04:27Mmm, there was a line in my script about these geese coming for a gander, but I refused to say it.
04:39It's Gwed, which as we all know means go ahead in Scouse.
04:43I did not have to look that up on Wikipedia, I promise.
04:47Young actors are amazing.
04:48They really throw themselves into their roles.
04:54Oh, f***.
04:58I hope the producers weren't planning to return that bed after the shoot.
05:04Filming in the Bahamas.
05:05Normally, I'd be jealous of a presenter like Steve Backshall doing this, but it turns out that there is a catch.
05:11And the catch is him.
05:14They're drawn in from down current of us by their sense of smell, which is unbelievably strong.
05:21Their nares, or nostrils, can detect one single drop of blood in an Olympic swimming pool-sized area of water.
05:30He just got my wetsuit.
05:35Oops.
05:36Look at that.
05:38I've got a war wound in my wetsuit.
05:43Maybe I won't sit quite so close to the edge next time.
05:46Mmm, that's probably for the best.
05:47Time for the weather now, as we head down under to Australia for a forecast.
06:02And this presenter is obsessed with the east, but it's the west he should be worried about.
06:07There's why we've got clear skies in the east, that high-pressure system,
06:10cold air behind the front that came through over the last couple of days.
06:13It means that the east is dry, but cold.
06:19Excuse me.
06:21I told you, you never know what will blow in from the west.
06:27That's a new one.
06:27Great, yeah.
06:29Just a cameo from one of our robots there.
06:31Yes, even studio equipment wants to be famous these days.
06:35That robot camera has more Instagram followers than I do.
06:39For one, our robot overlords are fine by me, right?
06:43OK, weather, we're back to it.
06:46Over to BBC Look North, where earlier in the day they experienced problems with their weather map.
06:52Luckily, their presenters are all consummate professionals.
06:55Anyway, at lunchtime, his equipment wasn't working.
07:00Is it repaired?
07:03Well, I think you'll find my 10-week daughter proves there's nothing wrong with my equipment, Peter.
07:10Well, you asked.
07:12Right, let's just have the thought.
07:13I'm seriously in danger, buddy, for doing this programme.
07:16Sorry, I'm off on a tangent there.
07:18I can only assume weatherman Paul was sleep-deprived.
07:21The weather is cloudy with a chance of P-45s.
07:28ITV's very own Laura Tobin.
07:30And she may think that the pressure is low, but in the studio, it's rising to high.
07:35And like winds, the outlook isn't really changing very much.
07:39Low pressure brings wet and windy weather. It stays well to our south.
07:43High pressure brings settled conditions and that influences that...
07:45Richard! Richard!
07:48I'm in the middle of the weather.
07:49How rude!
07:50Who could have forecast that Laura would end up grilling bacon?
07:54There's lots of weather to hear about.
07:56Er, so the winds, now it's quiet.
07:58Easterly, it brings up cool conditions through eastern coast as we head through the next few days.
08:04Look at that picture!
08:04Oh, look at that!
08:05You know what, as the knights are drawing in now,
08:08scenes like this really do lift you, don't they?
08:10And this is the scene just a couple of days ago in Rome, and...
08:13Yeah, sunshine lifts me when it's over here, Matt.
08:16But not when it's being hogged by a lot of golfers in Rome.
08:19We'll see temperatures climb into the high 20s, and with just a gentle wind as well,
08:24it is going to be very pleasant indeed.
08:26Now, I seem to be having a few issues with my clicker.
08:29It's not moving on.
08:30Hey, wait a minute, let's...
08:32Let me just grab another one.
08:34Just jump out of the way.
08:35There we go, let's see if that moves it on.
08:38Nope, nothing's moving at all, but never mind.
08:40Yes, at Rome it's going to be fine.
08:41Matt is probably hoping he's still asleep and just having a bad dream.
08:45Sorry, Matt, I'm afraid this nightmare is real!
08:48I love how everything is in your head.
08:52It's all there, just not behind me.
08:54It's just not there.
08:55It's better in your head and out of your mouth than just on pictures.
08:57Oh, look, look what happened there.
08:59There it goes, there you go.
09:01Better late than never.
09:03Don't worry, Matt, a lot of people's clickers take a while to get going in the morning.
09:06Now, don't worry if, unlike me, you don't sprechen Sie Deutsch.
09:13Some cock-ups just speak for themselves.
09:20It's funny for us, but not for my German pen pal,
09:23who went out without a coat and got wet lederhosen.
09:28BBC Northwest are about to demonstrate why having a weather presenter in the family
09:32isn't all it's cracked up to be.
09:34Becoming a little cooler, more to average for the time of year.
09:37And that's your forecast for now.
09:39Cool, so thank you very much.
09:42So, what have you got up at the weekend?
09:44Anything exciting?
09:44Oh, my niece's surprise birthday party.
09:46Oh, that's lovely.
09:47Yeah, so that'll be nice and fun.
09:48But not a surprise if she's watching this.
09:50Goodness me, I've spoiled this.
09:56Well, it won't be the first birthday party to be ruined by the weather.
09:59Over to Australia, where they do like to turn things a little upside down.
10:06Well, cheers, Tony.
10:07No worries.
10:09Now, with a look at the weather, here is Nate Byrne.
10:14I think we'll get to Nate eventually.
10:15Do you want me to step in?
10:17Yeah, maybe we need a bit more of Tony, I don't know.
10:20Hang on, hang on.
10:21No, you can't just have a go at doing the weather.
10:24It's a very skilled job, which should only be attempted by qualified professionals.
10:28Melbourne today with the weather, Tony.
10:29Um, well, Melbourne, down here, um, uh, sunny, think we're getting to a top of 14.
10:35Um, and I don't know what that means.
10:36Oh, severe weather warnings, gee whiz, I don't know what's going on behind me, Joe.
10:40I'm doing my best, though.
10:41I'm doing my best.
10:42Vancouver, we're all over the place.
10:44Tony Armstrong.
10:46Now, I'm not sure he's giving those severe weather warnings the serious treatment that
10:50they deserve.
10:51He's got it all going on.
10:52Cheers, Tony.
10:53I'm out.
11:04Coming up, the always effervescent Morning Live team talk to Helen George about Call the
11:09Midwife, but end up wishing they could call for help.
11:14So it's been a real privilege, and yeah, I've got only, I've had the most amazing experiences
11:20over the last 13 years with it.
11:22But what will Helen find is not the most amazing experience?
11:26The Midwife is sick.
11:28We'll find out after the break.
11:30Welcome back for Interview Blunders.
11:45Before the break, we saw Helen George on Morning Live, and I asked, what will Helen find is not
11:51the most amazing experience.
11:53It's amazing.
11:54You are for sure the star of the stage, but quite frankly, Charlie's been the star of
11:58today's Morning Live.
12:00Charlie, stop it.
12:01He's busy now.
12:02Yeah, maybe this is a good time to say goodbye.
12:03Yeah, everyone.
12:04People are still eating their shortbread, Helen.
12:07And you can...
12:08Call the Midwife, more like call the dog trainer.
12:11This is one of our players.
12:12Thank you, Helen.
12:13Thank you, Charlie.
12:15Moving on quickly.
12:15Have you finished your shortbread, Rav?
12:17Yeah, yes, absolutely.
12:18It's good, because I've got a question for you.
12:20Sorry, I don't know where to look.
12:21Yes.
12:22We were talking.
12:24The wonderful Lorraine Kelly.
12:26She's the queen of daytime, but she is only human, and the divine Idris Elba has this effect
12:32on us all.
12:33It really is.
12:33Now, look, you keep getting asked about James Bond.
12:36Yes.
12:36Can we turn it on its head?
12:37Because I think you would be an amazing baddie in James Bond.
12:41Really?
12:42Yes.
12:43I was going to say I can see you stroking a big pussy, but I shouldn't really say that,
12:46because that's naughty and rude, and we'll take that out.
12:48Thank you very much.
12:50We're not going to put that in.
12:52I'll just say it.
12:53It's too late now, Lorraine.
12:55I'm afraid you said it, and we must share it with everyone in the world.
12:59I've got it in my head, the image, but anyway...
13:00I'm so sorry.
13:02James Bond baddie you should be.
13:03Never mind James Bond.
13:04Oh, I think the biggest baddie in this scene is you, Lorraine.
13:07Naughty.
13:08Bad guys are just as iconic as the James Bond characters.
13:11Exactly.
13:12But now I'm just excited about being in a meme with you for the rest of our lives.
13:16High five.
13:17Oh, there we go.
13:18Oh, Lorraine.
13:20I'm so sorry.
13:22I'm so sorry.
13:23I am so bad.
13:25See, I can't help myself.
13:27I can't help myself.
13:27Don't worry about it.
13:28You're amongst friends.
13:29In my head, and then it comes out of...
13:31You're amongst friends.
13:32Oh, no.
13:33We can never tell.
13:34It's our secret, right?
13:35Nobody ever has to see what was said on this set.
13:39Don't worry, Lorraine.
13:40I won't tell if you won't.
13:42Thank you so much.
13:43Thanks for having me on your show.
13:44You're gorgeous.
13:45I'm so sorry.
13:47I'll have to go in my day, babe.
13:49An interview with Jake Quickenden and a novel experience for my good friends, the Loose Women,
13:55as they learn what it's like not to be the loudest ones in the room.
13:58Shane went to see him in Footloose, and he came back and he went,
14:02Mom, he was absolutely brilliant, and he would tell you the truth, because you are good friends.
14:06Yeah.
14:06Whatever that noise is, Jake is doing a great job of ignoring it.
14:10Because of trolling and stuff like that.
14:11See?
14:12Hi, baby.
14:12Hi, baby.
14:14Come on, Leah.
14:14Let's get him in.
14:17Forget about Footloose.
14:18There's a child loose.
14:19Oh, come on.
14:21Oh, come on.
14:22That is the best thing I've ever seen.
14:25You say that now, Colleen, but wait until he needs a nappy change.
14:28Yeah, sit down.
14:28It's the thing.
14:32Ireland AM have invited regular This Morning Chef, Donal, to talk about his life in the kitchen.
14:38But it won't be Donal who steams the blaze up.
14:40Oh, the air fryer.
14:41Now, what do you think about the air fryer?
14:43I think...
14:44I enjoy...
14:45I like it.
14:46I like it.
14:47Well, but the problem with me, I don't have a very big one.
14:50OK.
14:50So it's...
14:51All right, Tommy.
14:52OK, listen.
14:52Big air fryer.
14:53Can you both like that?
14:55Yes.
14:55Do you want to take this one or a line?
14:57No, no, you can take it.
14:58Alan isn't here for four.
14:58You don't have a very big one.
14:59I don't have a very big one.
15:00But you make it work.
15:01I'm in everything.
15:03Don't worry, Tommy.
15:04I always say, it's not your cubic capacity, it's how you handle your drawers.
15:09We came to talk about my book and I realise now we've made the Christmas bloopers.
15:13If I'm trying to satisfy four people...
15:16Oh, Jesus!
15:17My word, that does sound like quite the dinner party.
15:20Poor man must be worn out.
15:21It just doesn't all fit inside because it's not big enough.
15:25And that's the problem.
15:27Yes, I understand.
15:27It's my air fryer.
15:32Nice to meet you.
15:34Hi.
15:34Paul.
15:35Whoa!
15:35Josie and the team at This Morning have bagged an interview with A-list Hollywood star,
15:41the Paul Rudd.
15:43No pressure, Josie.
15:44No pressure.
15:46English breakfast.
15:46Oh, wait, after you, after you.
15:49I'll go first.
15:50I'm the guest.
15:51I'm the guest on the show.
15:52I've spilt mine.
15:53That part we'll cut out.
15:56Josie doesn't panic.
15:57She knows there's no point crying over actual spilled milk.
16:01And I'm sure she'll have much more luck with the biscuits.
16:04Here we go.
16:04Because suddenly that, oh, oh no.
16:06Oh, great.
16:07All my biscuits.
16:08It's fine.
16:10Are you ready to drop in biscuits?
16:12That's another...
16:13You take that one, Paul.
16:14OK, this one that was just on the floor?
16:15It has been on the floor.
16:16Fantastic.
16:16Josie, first rule of being a good hostess, don't let your guest see you pick the biscuits
16:21up off the floor.
16:24This has been great.
16:25I really appreciate it.
16:26Thank you for giving me one of the biscuits that didn't hit the ground.
16:30It actually did, but there you go.
16:31I knew it.
16:33Something tells me Paul won't be coming back to Britain in a hurry.
16:36The always eclectic The One Show, although in this chat with ex-Death-in-Paradise star
16:46Ralph Little, even I was surprised by the conversation topic.
16:49APPLAUSE
16:49Welcome, both.
16:51Good to see you, good to see you.
16:53Ralph, loads of viewer questions coming in, so I want to shoot this one at you.
16:56Kieran asks, will Neville ever get his happy ending?
16:59OK, I'll just mentally change gear.
17:07Yes, well, I don't know.
17:09I didn't change gear fast enough.
17:12Neville, I think what you mean is will he find some sort of love?
17:15I think that's what they mean.
17:17Yeah, yeah.
17:18Um, Neville, um, uh, Neville, we joined Neville at the start of this.
17:25At the start of this series.
17:26And he's very, um, he's very, uh, emotionally bruised from what happened at the end of last series.
17:32Aw.
17:33Ralph, you're making it worse.
17:34We'll get a happy ending.
17:36Good save, Ralph.
17:39Thank you very much.
17:47Time for the news.
17:49It's a serious subject, so I'm sure there won't be any mistakes here.
17:52Hello and good afternoon.
17:54The Chancellor, Nadeem Zahawi, has said the country is in a national economic emergency,
18:00which could last for two years, leaving even...
18:03News so bad, even the camera couldn't face it.
18:05I'm the same.
18:06Bad news always makes me drift off.
18:08Good with a thorough off an announcement.
18:12Reporter Jonathan Swain has been banished from the nice warm studio to report on a cold December morning.
18:18And if that wasn't enough to make him feel gloomy around the table at Christmas.
18:23Well, I think we opened the lights just falling down.
18:24So it's really, uh, not just, uh, snowy here this morning, Kate.
18:28It's also fairly, uh, wintry here as well.
18:31And still he carries on.
18:32I'd have stormed off for a restorative Lapsang Souchong.
18:38This news station may be in the middle of a report.
18:41But that's no excuse for the newsreader to indulge in some online shopping.
18:48Apologies about that.
18:50This is what happens with live television.
18:53Hmm, we can forgive her if she was buying another fabulous blouse.
18:59You're through to good morning, Britain.
19:00Please press one if you've ever been embarrassed by your phone at work.
19:04Morning. Good morning, Britain.
19:06Uh, new figures out expecting to show inflation hit around 10% last month.
19:11In fact, they are just out.
19:1310.1. 10.1%.
19:15Getting it on your phone?
19:16Excuse me, I'm sorry.
19:18What's her?
19:19Yes, Susannah.
19:20No watching the news when you're meant to be presenting the news.
19:25That's okay.
19:26In Adelaide, this newsreader is about to pre-record an interview with a guest.
19:30Once he's picked the right video background.
19:33Yeah, I'm just looking.
19:34That's not the one we want, though.
19:37Yes, take your time.
19:38I'm sure she doesn't have anywhere to be.
19:41No, that's...
19:44I'll just go to blur.
19:45It's not going very well, is it?
19:49Let's go back in the background.
19:53Sorry.
19:54No, it's great.
19:57Video filters.
20:00Ah, studio.
20:01Oh, a party hat.
20:04You should have said it was your birthday.
20:06Is that just a slice of pizza?
20:08So, I'm going to log out and come straight back in.
20:11Hold on.
20:11Okay.
20:12Cool.
20:12All right.
20:12Awesome.
20:13Bye.
20:15We've just got time for one more glorious cock-up.
20:29And sharing the first letters of glorious and cock-up, it's the GC herself, Gemma Collins.
20:35Is it Gemma Collins?
20:38I just said it was Gemma.
20:39Pay attention.
20:40They're all wavers.
20:41Gemma is glamping with her family, and in true GC style, she's hired the biggest and most expensive
20:48camper van, without checking if her brother can drive it.
20:53Her film crew must be delighted.
20:54There's nothing like a bit of jeopardy to add drama to a shoot, but here's where drama meets hard, cold reality.
21:01I didn't need it, did I?
21:06I'm afraid you did.
21:07Get this on camera.
21:11You're going to need a witness for the insurance.
21:13Did anyone happen to see it?
21:14Maybe 20 to 30 people and a TV crew?
21:17It's...
21:17I think it's just going to need a little bath down and a spray.
21:20Yeah.
21:20Don't worry, the electricity makes it was fine.
21:22Nothing the GC can't sweet-talk herself out of.
21:25If you can get away with that jacket, you can get away with anything.
21:29Thank you all, and good night.
21:31Ahead of a brand new series starting January 3rd, Joel Domit hosts a one-off Christmas special,
21:38The Masked Singer, on Boxing Day.
21:41That's The Masked Singer Christmas special tomorrow night at 7.30.
21:45And join Her Royal Highness the Princess of Wales for a one-off carol service from Westminster Abbey.
21:51Royal Carols Together at Christmas is streaming on STV Player.
22:01It's up to be called for 311.
22:04The Masked Singer.
22:05The Masked Singer.
22:07The Masked Singer.
22:08The Masked Singer.
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