- 12 minutes ago
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00:00Music
00:04Music
00:18Music
00:20Music
00:22Music
00:26There was crassless sea bass in the drunk tank
00:34And all that sat in
00:38Won't see another one
00:42And then we sang a song
00:48The rare old mountain tune
00:52I turned my face away
00:55I love it
00:57I dreamt about you
01:00Got on a lucky one
01:05Came in and looked into one
01:09I've got a feeling
01:12Plus years remaining
01:16So happy Christmas
01:22I love you baby
01:25I can see you better
01:29Thank you
01:30Everyone needs for the song
01:32We're all at your own
01:34Let's go
01:34Let's go
01:35Let's go
01:35Let's go
01:36They got cars
01:49Big as bars
01:49They got rivers of gold
01:51But the windows run through you
01:53It's no place for the old
01:54When you first took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve
01:57You promised me Broadway was waiting for me
02:00You were handsome
02:01You were pretty queen
02:02I knew you were studying
02:03When the band finished
02:04You know she's invited Adam and Alya don't you
02:08Oh dumb
02:09I mean she could have invited one of your exes
02:11Balance it out a bit
02:12Who's she?
02:14The cat's mother?
02:16Do you like what I got Eva?
02:17It reminds me of that quote from the bible
02:20Pearls before swine
02:22Ma
02:22What?
02:24Why is everyone so serious?
02:27Come on
02:27It's Christmas
02:28Our first guest has arrived
02:30Merry Christmas
02:31Hi
02:31Hi
02:31Hi
02:32My secret Santa contribution
02:34I hope I'm not too early
02:35Oh of course not
02:36Nalan's been on the eggnog since breakfast
02:38The mouth on that
02:40Let me get you one Megan
02:42Wait till you taste it
02:43You'll die
02:44Mwah
02:46Don't let her get to you
02:48Rise above it
02:50Oh I'm rising
02:51Practically transcendental
02:53Closed?
03:01Closed on Christmas Day?
03:03I mean it's like the ravens have left the tower
03:07They will be opening later I believe
03:10Family meal?
03:12I mean lucky for some eh?
03:14In case of I'm alright Jack
03:15If ever I've heard one
03:16Happy birthday David
03:20Yeah
03:20Ta
03:21Oh yes happy er
03:23You know
03:24Merry Christmas
03:27You're a little late for last minute shopping aren't you?
03:30Oh no I wish
03:31No
03:31Wasn't late for work
03:32See
03:33Yes fascinating
03:35I'm not surprised he doesn't want to be at home at the moment
03:40Why?
03:41Oh
03:42What's been happening at Lesbian Ranch?
03:45My donation for our secret Santa
03:54Oh yeah
03:56The table looks dead nice Eva
03:58I hope you'll be handing out sunglasses
04:00Now Ollie
04:02As wonderful as it is to see you bonding with little Frankie here
04:05Don't you think you should go check on the food?
04:08Of course
04:09Everything's under control
04:11Nan
04:11He's making my favourite
04:15A bird within a bird within a bird
04:18You seen something you don't like Maggie?
04:24Plenty
04:25Ta-da
04:30I hate leaving you on your own
04:35I'm going to sit and mope and watch everything I've circled in the TV guide
04:39Well at least you know I'll come back sober
04:42Yep
04:43Kev's enough to make anyone remaps
04:45Right
04:46Come on then me and you
04:48Let's get off
04:48To see Jack and open some presents
04:51See you later
04:52I'll open some presents
04:54Your presents
04:55It just feels weird being here
05:05Especially when I'm leaving Leanne to fend for herself at speed dog
05:08Well they invited us
05:09I know Ollie's meant to be a great cook so
05:11Come on
05:12Open it
05:12It's symbolic
05:17Of what?
05:18The key to your heart
05:19Listen
05:20I love you
05:21And I think we should move in together
05:23In fact
05:26We can pick up the keys for Kit's old flat at Red Bank whenever you want
05:29Are you serious?
05:31Yeah I'm serious
05:31Ollie and Azir
05:33Will you make me the happiest man on earth
05:35I'm with anything
05:36I'd love to
05:38Kit what did you think you were doing?
05:43Come on babe it's Christmas one or two won't hurt
05:44As long as it's only one or two
05:47Bird within a bird within a bird sounds very Henry VIII
05:53Divorced beheaded died
05:56Divorced beheaded
05:58Survived
05:59I always find that last one very disappointing
06:02Hey
06:04Hey
06:04Merry Christmas
06:05Merry Christmas Daniel
06:06Hello young man
06:07Just wanted to give Megan a Christmas present
06:08Oh and is this your little guy?
06:12Couldn't you just eat him?
06:14Come here to me
06:16Oh you're gorgeous
06:18You must stay for dinner
06:20We'll set two more places
06:22We have more company
06:23Well I'm sure Daniel's got all the places to be
06:26Hey us barlows would do anything to avoid Tracy's crusty old nut roast
06:30Perfect
06:31We'll take the little lad upstairs to where the other kids are playing
06:35And would someone give Daniel here a drink from the bar?
06:39Thought we weren't doing gifts
06:40Well aren't you going to open it?
06:42A weekend away at the Dovedale spa for two
06:54Oh wow
06:55That's supposed to be amazing
06:57Thank you
06:58Will
07:00Sorry about him
07:12He's missing his girlfriend
07:14Chloe and Hull
07:16Bless him
07:18So Audrey's gone to Gales for Christmas has she?
07:25Did she fly?
07:26Yeah bless her
07:27Oh I so miss air travel
07:29You know the glamour of the trolley dollies
07:31In flight entertainments
07:33And on one particularly memorable jaunt across the Grand Canyon
07:36The giddy thrills of the Mile High Club
07:39I hope you two don't want feeding
07:42David
07:43Worry not
07:44We're not peripatetic noshers
07:46We just dropped by to wish you felicitations of the season
07:50And a happy birthday of course
07:51Sorry David's a bit stressed
07:54His birthday present from his mum's gone missing
07:56Well I'm not bothered
07:58Do I look bothered?
07:58Yes David
07:59Actually you look incredibly bothered
08:01Oh the curse of the light fingered postman strikes again
08:04Abidemi is not light fingered
08:06Abidemi's quite fit actually
08:08Oh brat
08:09You know mother swore blind
08:11That she sent me Ben Shepard novelty coasters last Micklemas
08:15Did they arrive?
08:17Did they poncho?
08:18Gale sent a picture that the delivery driver took
08:21Whose doorstep does that look like to you?
08:23I mean I had to make my own out of cork flooring, pastry cutter and a couple of taker breaks
08:28Well it's classic Gale isn't it?
08:30She's got a postcode to house that she lived at for four million years
08:33Could that be Tim and Sally's?
08:38I don't want a stupid present anyway
08:39Now that is one hell of a moist breast
08:47Plumptious that's what it is
08:50Oh potato buds think it's Christmas
08:52Oh hang on a minute
08:53It is
08:53It is Christmas
08:54And compliments to the chef
08:56Thank you Todd
08:57Cheers
08:58Cheers
08:59Well I'm the sous chef
09:01Did you get my email?
09:05Oh I'm so sorry that's so rude of me
09:08Yes thank you very much
09:10What email?
09:12Oh someone's got in the most amazing gift she was telling us before
09:15Lovely
09:16Oh I
09:16I'm jealous
09:18I am I am spitting feathers
09:19Right so you know he really fancies Andrew Scott
09:22So I have got him tickets to an Andrew Scott retrospective at a film festival
09:27Including a Q&A with the man himself
09:30Oh was Andrew Scott in Hettie Wainthrop?
09:32Oh lucky Hettie
09:34I don't think so
09:36Didn't know you were such a fan of his canon of work
09:40I don't think it was that canon he was interested
09:43Ah what did the kids get you for you?
09:46Was it socks and smellies?
09:47Oh kids honestly
09:49They can be so unimaginative can't they?
09:52Do you know what Daisy got me one Christmas?
09:54What?
09:55A pencil sharpener
09:56No they've not got me now yet but I'm sure that'll be rectified soon
10:02I um I've got to try the form
10:05Didn't I love?
10:06Yeah
10:07It's gorgeous
10:08Oh isn't it amazing we can get the 50 piece shop these guys
10:12Andrew Scott though eh?
10:14I can't think of his
10:15He thinks you fancy Terry Scott
10:17He's that hot priest in that thing where she went round being posh talking to him
10:21Oh yes no I know I know yeah yeah
10:24Speaking of vicars
10:25But he's taking his time isn't he?
10:28Yeah it's his busiest day of the year isn't it?
10:29No
10:30Ah all these hot priests everywhere eh?
10:33What a lucky boy you are Torrey
10:35This is lovely
10:38Mmm
10:39Mmm mmm
10:39Very good
10:41You alright Lisa Lou?
10:46Um I got a text from Roy
10:50He says you rang the hotel that car had bought telling you she never checked in
10:53Oh no biggie
10:54Maybe she changed her mind and went somewhere else
10:57Well obviously she went somewhere else
10:59The question is where and she's disabled the tracker on her phone so
11:03Right
11:04Well I'm nipping out for an hour
11:08What now?
11:10Well I can't divulge too much but even on Christmas day there's stuff I need to sort for Spain
11:14Crikey you're in and out more times than I've been Carla
11:17Sorry
11:19Mmhmm
11:20Sorry
11:23Hey
11:35I just wanted to check you were cool with me and Ali of being here
11:38Maggie kind of press ganged us
11:40Yeah she's good at that it's fine darling
11:42You okay?
11:44My letter
11:45Which letter?
11:47The letter?
11:49I think someone's taken it out of my bag
11:51Look let me have a look in your bag maybe a fresh pair of ice
12:10I've done nothing but check it fill your boots
12:11I don't believe that it's just fallen out somewhere
12:16Well if it has someone's obviously chucked it which is a good thing
12:19No news is good news
12:20I feel sick it's not there is it?
12:23No
12:23Oh do you know what Maggie's been so off with me
12:26But then she's like that every day isn't she?
12:27I'm sure if she'd found it you'd know by now
12:29Yeah that's true
12:30Look calm down
12:31Deep breaths
12:32Alright babe
12:34Everything alright in here?
12:36Yeah fine
12:37I better um
12:39Listen babe I've got no problem with your ex being here but holding hands
12:46I know I'm sorry
12:47What happens the next time we walk in he's unhooking your bra
12:49He was just giving me a pep talk
12:51With his fingers
12:52Babe I was just getting wound up about Maggie he was just calming me down
12:56So come to me not Bonnie Prince Charlie
12:57I know I'm sorry
12:59Look for what it's worth I'm sorry about my ma
13:01Which bit?
13:03All of her
13:04Come on babe strength in the numbers
13:07Come on babe strength in the numbers
13:07You alright?
13:26I'm sorry to hear about your mum
13:31It's what it is
13:34Happens to us all eventually I guess
13:37You must miss her
13:43I'm being daft really but
13:45Yeah
13:46Nothing daft about it
13:48People are still around you want to make the most of him
13:52It's what we need isn't it
13:56What?
13:59Human contact
14:00You haven't stolen Gail's presents
14:05Yeah but that looks like your doorstep
14:08Doesn't it?
14:10That's nothing like our doorstep you plump
14:12Well Mary said it was
14:14Well has Mary got a degree in step recognising?
14:17Well it might have been Brian
14:20Have you been shaming us on some sort of chat group?
14:23No they came round for Christmas drinks
14:25Since when were you Pally with Brian and Mary?
14:29I'm not
14:29You've never invited us round for Christmas drinks
14:31Look I'm sure I would have noticed if one of our presents said
14:34Happy birthday David love mum
14:36Yeah
14:38Yeah I suppose
14:39Well it don't mind I'm not bothered anyway
14:41Didn't want to tell your face that
14:42Do you know what Tim forget it
14:47Mmm
14:49Nice ta
14:51Very festive
14:53I made that
14:55Yeah
14:57Bit dry
14:59Well now you've had your meds and some scram
15:02You're going to leave a nice reassuring voice note for my lady wife
15:05No I'm not
15:07I'm not doing it
15:09You know when she realises I'm missing
15:12She'll come looking for me
15:14Oh right
15:16Do you really think so?
15:19You see that's not the impression I got last night when she was
15:24Oh no I don't want to rub it in
15:26You can probably smell her perfume on me
15:32If I found the evidence that you're corrupt
15:35It's only a matter of time before there's due to
15:38Oi Miss World shut your face
15:40Just need to reply to my lease
15:46Just need to reply to my lease
15:48Oh she wants me
16:01Maybe I'm just better than you
16:05Oh did I mention that we slept together last night?
16:08Again
16:09My bad
16:11Naughty Becky
16:13That's what she said actually
16:17He's acting like you used to a serious
16:27Oh come on it's not like I got him a present
16:30Or me
16:31Oh really?
16:33Well I feel a bit daft now
16:38Well I feel a bit daft now
16:40Well open it then
16:46A new earbuds
16:47Thanks
16:52There you are
16:53I feel I should be banging a gong
16:55Come in now will you
16:56Dinner is served
16:58I've got a skirt on
16:59It's a skirt
17:04Um
17:05Oh
17:06Oh
17:07Sound of music
17:08Yes yes yes
17:09My girl
17:10My girl
17:11My girl
17:12Oh
17:13I love that film
17:14I did
17:15I played Maria on the ships
17:16Oh here we go
17:17Here we go
17:18We did the whole thing in 40 minutes
17:19It was basically edited highlights
17:21It was me spinning around on the Alp
17:23And then it cut straight to that Rolf
17:24Pulling a gun on those poor kiddies
17:26Good heavens
17:27Oh
17:28Thank kiddies
17:29The wrong side of third
17:30And then no still
17:31The audience went nuts for it
17:32Oh
17:33I've got loads of these fascinating anecdotes
17:34I'll lend it
17:35No if you ever suffer from insomnia
17:36Phone her up and ask her about a 12 minute chitty chitty bang
17:39Right here we go
17:40Okay it's the song
17:41Oh the song
17:42It's hard to tell with your acting
17:43Oh shut up
17:44Oh Rick
17:45Five words
17:46Yes please love
17:47Okay first word
17:48First word
17:49First word
17:50You okay?
17:51They're not answering
17:52Who?
17:53I'm trying to video call the kids
17:55What are you doing?
17:58What are you doing?
18:00Oh
18:01Oh
18:02He's
18:03A little more tips than anything sir
18:04I'll um
18:05Yes boy
18:06Good boy
18:07Oh
18:09No words
18:10Exactly
18:11This is so much better than Tracy's nuts
18:13What is it exactly?
18:16It's a bird within a bird within a bird
18:20Ollie?
18:21It's a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey
18:24Do you like it?
18:25Yeah it's fantastic isn't it?
18:26Mmm so are the roasties
18:27Mmm
18:28And this not roast is definitely not crusty
18:30My grandson is a very special cook
18:33In fact all my boys are special
18:36And they deserve to be surrounded by special things Lauren
18:44How are the kids well?
18:45Yeah fine
18:46You're not tempted to stay with them?
18:48My boys deserve only the best
18:53In life
18:54In work
18:55And especially
18:56In love
19:03Is it time for Secret Santa yet?
19:05Food first
19:07Fun later
19:08So um
19:11Do you like being a chef?
19:13I do
19:14Yeah
19:15Yeah well I'm in rubbish company
19:16I bet you're not
19:17Nah I am
19:18I could burn a salad
19:19We'll have to pouch you for speed darling
19:21You'll need a big pan
19:23That wee lad's going nowhere
19:25Wee lad? I bet you like that mate
19:26I think I'll always be his wee lad
19:29A toast
19:30To my boys
19:32Merry Christmas
19:33Merry Christmas
19:34Merry Christmas
19:35Merry Christmas
19:38Hey
19:39Hey
19:40The Poland Express is on later
19:42I thought we could all
19:43Hunker down and watch it together
19:46Don't confuse the boundaries Kev
19:48We did this for the lads
19:50Confuse the boundaries?
19:52I'm not throwing me lips on you
19:53He's one I've lost
19:54I'm over it
19:55Kev
19:56Look he might be younger than me
19:57He might be better looking than me
19:58Don't
19:59You know I can't call with this
20:00I've got a text card telling me we're coming home
20:03Alfie
20:05We need to go now kiddo
20:06Can you hurry up?
20:08We need to go now
20:09We need to go now
20:10We need to go now
20:11We need to go now
20:12We need to go now
20:13We need to go now
20:14We need to go now
20:15We need to go now
20:16We need to go now
20:17We need to go now
20:18We need to go now
20:19We need to go now
20:20We need to go now
20:21We need to go now
20:22We need to go now
20:23We need to go now
20:24We need to go now
20:25We need to go now
20:26We need to go now
20:27We need to go now
20:28We need to go now
20:29We need to go now
20:30We need to go now
20:31We need to go now
20:32We need to go now
20:33We need to go now
20:34We need to go now
20:35We need to go now
20:36We need to go now
20:37Colin? Colin, are you there?
20:42Hello.
20:44Bit of a weird concept, isn't it?
20:47Secret Santa.
20:48Well, it's a bit weird buying vouchers for spa weekends for people you hardly even know.
20:53It's a family tradition.
20:55Do you know what? I actually do need socks. I said that this morning, didn't I?
20:58She did.
20:59Your pillow talk is outrageous.
21:02And the next one is for...
21:07Drumroll, please.
21:08Oh.
21:12Ben.
21:13Wee-hey.
21:18Is it a jigsaw?
21:19Oh, come on. What is it?
21:20Wouldn't you like to know?
21:25To my baby.
21:27Give it to me. Let him read.
21:28Ben, give it to me. Please, give it to me.
21:30I said, let him read it.
21:33You bitch.
21:34Let my son read the lovely gift I got him.
21:38What is it?
21:39Oh, just evidence of an affair.
21:41What?
21:42Between Eva and Adam.
22:00Why are you so intent on killing our relationship?
22:09Maybe I don't want my son to be with a two-timing tart.
22:13Read it out to the group.
22:14Ma.
22:15It's a letter to the baby she aborted when she and Ben were going through a rough patch.
22:21Rough patch?
22:22He probably gave her a few dirty looks.
22:25He went back to his wife?
22:26And you went running back to the groin of his lordship here.
22:31Sorry.
22:32Adam.
22:33My rock.
22:34This is true.
22:35Your words.
22:36Not mine.
22:37There was no affair.
22:38I don't think that Adam's...
22:39Babe, I can explain.
22:40Well, go ahead then.
22:41And Adam continued to be her rock when she aborted their child.
22:45Oh, you're not a very nice person, are you?
22:47Do you know the worst of it?
22:48It's still going on.
22:49Oh, please.
22:50No, I'm not having it.
22:51It's not.
22:52Because it wasn't in the first place, babe, I promise.
22:54And it's got enough all to do with you.
22:56Is this why you two were holding hands earlier?
22:57What?
22:58No.
22:59Are you happy now?
23:00Not by a long shot.
23:02Because you have broken my son's heart.
23:04Whether or not Eva had an abortion is, frankly, none of your business.
23:07Is it not, frankly?
23:09Well, isn't it a woman's right to choose?
23:11What she chose was infidelity.
23:13What kind of a mother are you?
23:14Daniel.
23:15What, to do this to your own family?
23:16And on Christmas Day?
23:17You can take that smirk off your face and all.
23:20Mate, I'm not smirking.
23:21Nothing happened.
23:22Who do you think you're giving your dirty looks to?
23:24You're completely misreading the situation.
23:25Aye.
23:26Well, misread this.
23:27Ben!
23:34Yeah, don't worry, Betsy.
23:36I'm fine.
23:37I'm having a really lovely holiday.
23:40Only Roy rang that hotel and you're not staying there.
23:45No, I had to move in the end.
23:49I'm staying at a new place now.
23:51It's called Rhubarb Hill Hotel.
23:55Rhubarb Hill Hotel?
23:57Yeah, yeah.
23:58I'm in the busing suite.
24:00Well, I hope you're having a good time.
24:03I'm missing you.
24:05James.
24:06Get dressed and get up.
24:07Abby's on her way back.
24:08What?
24:09Just hurry up.
24:10Be quiet.
24:11I'm calling her.
24:12Hiya, love.
24:13Where are you?
24:14I'm just outside the main door.
24:15Wicked.
24:16Listen, would you do me a favour?
24:17Would you just go to the car and get me charger out of the glove box, please?
24:21Now, I haven't got the keys.
24:22Oh, but I thought you always had them.
24:23Oh, God, you're lazy.
24:24Oh, no, hang on.
24:25I'll tell her I've got them here.
24:26Yeah, do you mind?
24:27I'm running out of juice.
24:28Yeah, of course I can.
24:29Yeah, of course I can.
24:30Just give us a sec.
24:31Right, well, come on.
24:32We need to go and get Carl's charger.
24:33Let's get him in this way.
24:34Let's get him in this way.
24:35Oh, I'm just kidding.
24:36I'm just kidding.
24:37I'm just kidding.
24:38I'm just kidding.
24:39I'm just kidding.
24:40I'm just kidding.
24:41Oh, God, you're lazy.
24:42Oh, no.
24:43Hang on.
24:44I'm gonna tell her I've got them here.
24:45Yeah, do you mind?
24:46Yeah, of course I can.
24:47I'm running out of juice.
24:48Yeah, of course I can.
24:49Just give us a sec.
24:50Right, well, come on.
24:52We need to go and get Carl's charger.
24:54It's wicked.
24:55One more move like that and I'm phoning the police.
25:10Why do you hate me so much?
25:12Sit down.
25:13This could take some time.
25:14Oi.
25:15Have you got anything to say for yourself?
25:17Oh, I've got plenty.
25:18And don't you oi me.
25:20Lies.
25:21All lies.
25:22I never had an affair with Adam.
25:23The letter says different.
25:24He supported me while...
25:25How can you trust a silly word she says?
25:27Well, I was supporting our baby.
25:29What?
25:36The baby was ours.
25:43What was with that stupid hotel name?
25:45Well, I don't know, do I?
25:47I didn't think on my feet.
25:49You had a knife pointed at me.
25:51I don't know why I said rhubarb or whatever.
25:54You're giving me a headache.
25:56Do you talk like this with Lies?
25:58No wonder she's gone off you.
26:00Biggest regret of my life, she said.
26:02Meeting Carla.
26:03The biggest regret of my life is following you, are you?
26:07You did not.
26:09Because I'd have known.
26:11Don't lie.
26:13Okay.
26:14All right.
26:15Costello.
26:16Tell me the address.
26:17The rest you do know.
26:18What rest do I know?
26:19That I broke in here.
26:20That you caught me red-handed.
26:21You know, but if I were you, I wouldn't have left an incriminating burner phone just lying
26:35around linking me to a hit on Costello.
26:38You're so boring.
26:41Right.
26:42Well, I can't stand around here chewing the cud all day.
26:45People to see.
26:47Wives to bed.
26:49So she's not your wife, is she?
26:52Because you're officially dead.
26:54So that makes her your widow.
26:56Funny you mention dead.
26:59Because Lisa said that sleeping with you was like going to bed with a corpse.
27:14Happy Christmas, Ducky.
27:16Oh.
27:17Oh.
27:18Oh.
27:19Oh.
27:20Oh.
27:21Oh.
27:22Oh.
27:23Oh.
27:24Oh.
27:25Oh.
27:26Oh.
27:27Oh.
27:28Oh.
27:29Oh.
27:30Oh, now that is what I call a beautiful set of conflicts.
27:34Aren't they?
27:35Aren't you lucky?
27:36You.
27:37Yeah.
27:38Oh.
27:39Was it a good service, Phyllis?
27:40It was.
27:41It was lovely.
27:42Was it all Christmasy?
27:43Yes, it was.
27:44We had carols around the crib and mince pies afterwards.
27:47Oh, mince pies.
27:48You should have gone, George.
27:49I know.
27:50Oh.
27:51Was there, erm, mulled wine?
27:53It's a family service, love.
27:54Not happy hour at the legs of man.
27:57You all right over there, Theo?
27:59You looking a bit...
28:00Oh, sorry.
28:01Oh.
28:02Oh.
28:03Are we out staying our welcome?
28:04Oh, no, no, no, no.
28:05Oh, wait.
28:06Tell us.
28:07Well, no, you can tell me.
28:08I mean, I'm very hard to offend.
28:10Unless it's racism.
28:11I do take offence at that.
28:13No, no.
28:14Honestly, of course not.
28:15You're fine.
28:16You've got a worse actor than she is.
28:20Actually, that's bullying, that.
28:22I'm going to torture my union.
28:23National union of brazen bar mates.
28:27Speaking of which, shall we, erm...
28:29Shall we adjourn to the Rovers?
28:31Oh, no, no, no.
28:32Don't leave on my account.
28:33Although, I think old Tonnington's ready for a lie down, aren't ya?
28:36Yeah, you are looking a bit quiet over there, mate.
28:38I think he's had one of the eight.
28:40I'm fine.
28:41That's what they all say.
28:42I'll tell you what, Billy, he'll miss ya.
28:44Found out today he's got a thing for old priests.
28:46I have to get myself a dog collar.
28:48Joe was put under your catter.
28:51All right, well, erm...
28:54Nice to see you both.
28:55I'll see you briefly.
28:56Come here.
28:57Yeah, sorry about that.
29:01You get your bag and I'll get your coat.
29:02Come here.
29:03Merry Christmas.
29:05Thanks ever so much.
29:09Bye, love. Bye, Summer.
29:11Yeah, get that then.
29:12All right.
29:14Bye.
29:15You know full well when we were going through a rough patch.
29:17And you know full well why we were.
29:19Don't put that on me.
29:20So this abortion's on me, is it?
29:21The only thing that I regret about that termination is not telling you.
29:25But, babe, how could I?
29:27How could I bring the baby into that?
29:29You weren't even taking my calls.
29:30You were living back with the dragon.
29:32Don't call her that.
29:33And whenever we did talk to each other, we were just taking shots.
29:36And yet you still got pregnant by me.
29:39Allegedly.
29:41Don't you dare.
29:43Sorry.
29:45I was in no fit state to bring a baby and Susie up on my own.
29:49Now, if I'd have thought for one second that we were going to get back together,
29:52I would have told you.
29:54So where does Adam fit into all of this?
29:56He doesn't.
29:57Not really.
29:58Except the fact that he was a supportive friend.
30:00He was meeting a client in Hull.
30:02I bumped into him at the Paragon interchange.
30:04He was getting the train.
30:05I was getting the bus.
30:06Kismet.
30:07Just to let you know, your pub is open.
30:13Oh.
30:14Oh, it's my pub when it suits you.
30:16Well, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt you to put a shift in Maggie.
30:18Get your hands as dirty as your tongue.
30:20Are you going to let her speak to me like that?
30:26Very exciting to be summoned here like this.
30:29It's very nice.
30:30Quite palatial.
30:32Mind you, you must be earning a bob or two now, aren't you?
30:36So you've actually spoken to Carla?
30:39Not me, Betts.
30:41Oh.
30:42So how is she?
30:44What does she say?
30:46She said she was at a hotel.
30:48I can't believe Betts actually spoke to her.
30:50It's reassuring, though.
30:52Is it?
30:53I want to be.
30:54Well, doesn't it just confirm what you've been worrying about all along?
30:58That she's ignoring you blatantly.
31:02See.
31:04I'll make a very good barrister, I will,
31:05because I've got a very incisive mind
31:07and also I'll look great in the wig and the...
31:11Oh, I see.
31:13My glass appears to be almost entirely empty.
31:17It's a box.
31:18Hmm.
31:19It's warm, though, isn't it, in here?
31:20It's probably evaporating.
31:23Hi, Bonnie.
31:24I'm home.
31:26Oh.
31:27We have company.
31:28Merry Christmas, stranger.
31:30Is that the sister?
31:32Hello.
31:34This is Roy's friend, Evelyn.
31:35Hi, I'm Kim.
31:37Hi, I spoke to Carla.
31:39Brilliant, finally.
31:41How was she?
31:43It's hard to tell, really.
31:45Erm, what are you doing?
31:47I'm ringing her.
31:48Oh, please.
31:49Oh, please.
31:50What?
31:51Like, she's going to answer.
31:55Don't you think you should just face facts, love?
31:58And what's that?
32:00You know, maybe.
32:03Maybe?
32:04Maybe.
32:05She's just not cut out to be a lesbian.
32:08No, a lot of people aren't.
32:10No, I wasn't.
32:12Sorry to send you on a wild goose chase.
32:17I honestly thought my charger was in the car.
32:20Forget my own head if it wasn't screwed on.
32:21So, what have you been up to then while me and Kev have been pretending to play up with families?
32:26Oh, just watching paint dry.
32:29Well, sounds like me and you have had very similar days.
32:33Shall we, erm...
32:35Shall we make up for it now?
32:37Not exactly what you're thinking of.
32:40Well, come to the bedroom and I'll show you.
32:42What's that aftershave you're wearing? It smells different.
32:52Must be that old shower gel I used earlier.
32:55What's this?
32:57It's nice, isn't it?
32:59I found it down the side of the couch.
33:01Must be the previous tenants.
33:05Now, where were we?
33:07En route to the bedroom.
33:09On a one-way ticket to paradise.
33:13I often wonder if you're a statue.
33:21Because you've got one hell of a brass neck on you.
33:24That secret Santa stunt was evil.
33:27I am a grandchild down because of you.
33:30Are you not going to defend me here, Ben?
33:32Why should I?
33:34She's right, it was evil.
33:36I'm not bothered.
33:38Put that drink down, Ma.
33:41And get out of my house now.
33:43I beg your pardon.
33:44I want you gone.
33:46Are you going to side with that little tart over me?
33:51Right first time.
33:52Is poor, beautiful face.
33:53Hmm.
33:54I don't hit him.
33:55It wasn't me.
33:56When a man gets hit like that.
33:57Usually over a woman.
33:58No.
33:59Maybe someone's got the hots for Elia.
34:00Who doesn't have the hots for Elia.
34:01Did I just say that out loud?
34:02Yes, George.
34:03Keep it down.
34:04People might think we're swingers.
34:05Oh, like these two.
34:06Behave yourself Mary's if we're swingers.
34:07I'll know what you're doing later.
34:08I'll know what you're doing later.
34:09I'm going to have a nice shiner thanks to you.
34:10You have no right.
34:11Oh, shiner.
34:12Oh, shiner.
34:13You had no right.
34:14Oh, shiner.
34:15Oh, shiner.
34:16Oh, shiner.
34:17He's got the hots for him.
34:18And I've got a beautiful face.
34:19And I can't get out of my eyes.
34:20And I can't get any pasta.
34:21Oh, you know what you're doing later.
34:22did i just say that out loud yes george keep it down people might think we're swingers
34:29oh like these two behave yourself marries if we're swingers i'll know what you're doing later
34:34i'm gonna have a nice shiner thanks to you you had no right oh shut up no he's right
34:42yeah adam i'm sorry um i shouldn't have reacted the way i did i've just spoken with the weaver
34:48and she's explained everything um accept my apology
34:53well this won't be a christmas that we forget anytime soon you've got a lot to save yourself
35:00hey sorry and alia you've got to believe adam none of it's true oh i never believed a word
35:08but you want to have a word with your mother is she calm down she's packing her bags vaster to leave
35:15what any sign of megan she's gone home she don't feel well you know she wanted me to tell you but
35:23whoops i forgot
35:24listen i know that you've got the hots for your teacher you little git but how about you leave
35:34her for the grown-ups hey there's a good life right thanks very much for a memorable day
35:39should we go next door hey i always wondered why you were so weird
35:48but now that i've seen what your granny's capable of it's all slipping into place
35:52david david
36:08where have you been
36:12er manor as well i've been helping lauren with frankie so she could work
36:17daniel's already gone he said to say tarara and that uh you need to be careful do i yes will
36:25you do you were so vile to daniel today classic i defend him why don't you you're gonna give the
36:32game away at this rate and the state of him you know he had his hands all over my woman
36:36you're drunk what's she gonna be like on your little weekend away
36:41oh do you know what i can't be doing with you when you're like this
36:48weird i'm sorry what is that it's a stimulator your own mother has got you a it's a vagus nerve
37:01stimulator david it's not in front of lily no no it's totally sleep
37:05shut up no that's what it is it's an actual sleep aid what granny gail's texted she said
37:10she sent us all a video oh get it up get it up on sablet go on she'll be in our way for
37:13anti-sair and uncle well she's put it on plot chat i think she can see it on there oh i can't
37:18believe she sent a video it's me
37:20i speak to you today on what is of course our first wedding anniversary one of the longest
37:30marriage is this thank you david for my extra large jar of olives
37:36very funny i hope you've all been having the most wonderful day and of course david
37:47happy birthday how can it be 35 years since i first held you in my arms
37:56i hope by now you've unwrapped your sleep aid
38:02i just wanted to say that though i may be far away you're all very much in my thoughts
38:13and david and shona you and your baby are utmost in my heart
38:24life is never easy life is never straightforward but we're a strong resilient family and we can
38:39weather any storm i love you all very much
38:45so till the next time we speak as the famous carol says
38:53the hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight
39:07i wish you all a very happy christmas
39:15happy christmas
39:18i just want to say thank you what for
39:31how are you fun and just being so nice and patient today
39:39that's our first christmas innit
39:42wanting to be special
39:45in that case thank you too
39:48for what
39:50for being you
39:52your authentic self
39:55can't be easy
39:58you know with your various issues
40:01unless you were being sarcastic
40:06i wasn't
40:08stand up
40:11you sure you weren't being sarcastic
40:15yeah
40:15you sure
40:22merry christmas
40:28and every mother's child
40:44is not a spy
40:47to see
40:49to see
40:50to see
40:50to see
40:51to see
40:52to see
40:53to see
40:53to see
40:54to see
40:56to see
40:56isn't that oochimaflip
40:58Maggie yes
40:59from the pub
41:00correct
41:00well introduce me i've never met her and you know
41:03if we pull up i'm thinking free drinks
41:05hello
41:07hello
41:07hello
41:07oh i say what a beautiful coat i love that colour
41:12merry christmas maggie
41:14i don't know if you uh
41:16met my uh dear friend
41:18evelyn plumber
41:19merry christmas to you
41:21and may
41:212026 bring you everything you wish yourself and more
41:25are you off travelling
41:28oh
41:29are you all right maggie
41:30no
41:31any idiot can see she's not all right
41:33she's in pieces
41:34oh
41:34let's just say
41:36i've fallen out with ben
41:38oh dear
41:40who's ben
41:41my son
41:42well
41:44maybe it's just bad karma you know because you shut the pub on christmas day
41:49we were having a family meal but
41:52everything went awry
41:55well if there's anything i i could do
41:59do you know any decent hotels around here
42:02well i i could drive you over to chariot square if you like
42:08good thinking batman
42:10and
42:11could you call ahead when we're on route
42:14my phone is running out of juice
42:16just tell them
42:17one night
42:18one person with breakfast
42:20and try and get a free upgrade to a suite
42:23um
42:26i'm rather sorry we came over in the first place
42:30and relax
42:36my lady
42:43quite good sir
42:46i'm sorry
42:50isn't that my line
42:52i should have been there for you
42:54we got there eventually didn't we
42:57i'll never let you down again
43:00i'll never let you see you know
43:01i'll never let you sing a song
43:07the rain all melt into you
43:11i turned my face away
43:15i dreamed about you
43:20got on a lucky one
43:24come and let's into one
43:29i've got enough
43:31you
43:49i'm
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