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Reality Realm US
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Merry Christmas!
00:27Merry Christmas!
00:28Merry Christmas!
00:30Is it, though?
00:31Cos I'm out here in the cold, running a mulled wine stall that was your idea
00:35while you're in the warm, like the ghost of Christmas.
00:37Merry Christmas!
00:38Oh, I don't know who he was! Get your bum out here now!
00:44I'm expecting a shot any time.
00:46It's a public street, and it's on Christmas Day.
00:49So that means it's not allowed, is it?
00:51Merry blah blah. Why don't you have some of this muck?
00:54Well, salesperson of the year. Cheers.
00:56Hiya, Lord. Merry Christmas.
00:58Merry Christmas.
01:00Looks like we should be singing Feed the World.
01:03We will not be caught with insufficient food, will we?
01:05Look at all those vegetables!
01:07I know!
01:08You're not wearing your present?
01:09Er, er, no, I will.
01:11Right, come on.
01:12Let the peeling commence after you, Gavnat.
01:17What present has he got that you can't wear out here?
01:20Do we really want to know?
01:21He got me a Cardi.
01:23Right, because you're 74 years of age.
01:25And, er, murder mystery thing.
01:27Oh, where have you got to go for that?
01:28Oh, I don't know, some hotel in Weatherfield.
01:31Where?
01:32Oh, God knows.
01:33Weatherfield?
01:34Not really.
01:36Merry Christmas!
01:37Too early?
01:38I like that you're so keen.
01:51Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:52Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:53Yeah, Merry Christmas.
01:54Ho, ho, ho.
01:55We're selling for yours later.
01:56Uh-huh.
01:57Right, be late afternoon.
01:58Got a few guests here.
01:59Right, see you later.
02:00Yeah.
02:01Hey, Merry Christmas.
02:02And to you.
02:03I got a scooter.
02:04Yeah, same.
02:05Yay, so that means that no one's safe.
02:06Why don't we go and terrorise the rest of the village?
02:07Come on.
02:08Come on.
02:09Come on, be careful.
02:10Eh, question.
02:11How come I didn't get a scooter?
02:12Spent enough on your My Little Pony, thank you.
02:13Another one, love.
02:14Yeah, go on then.
02:15Not for me.
02:16I've actually got somewhere to knock off to.
02:17Oh, where are you going?
02:18Robert, where are you going?
02:19How are you going?
02:20No, no, no.
02:21It's too late.
02:22I'm not going to get to the school day.
02:23So I'm going to get to the school day.
02:24Oh, hey, happy to get to the school day.
02:25I'm going to get there.
02:26Oh, you do.
02:27Hey, hey, I'm going to get to the school day.
02:28Merry Christmas.
02:29Look, how are you going?
02:31Ho, ho, ho, ho.
02:32The parents are too ill.
02:33Hey, hey, hey!
02:34Hey, hey!
02:35Hey, hey!
02:36Hey, hey!
02:37Hey, hey, hey, hey!
02:38Hey, hey!
02:39Robert, where are you going?
02:42Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
03:01So, do you like it?
03:03Yeah.
03:04Really?
03:05Of course.
03:06Right, well, why are you just giving one-word answers then?
03:10I love it.
03:11Thanks.
03:12Just them two.
03:14Flippin' hijacking things yesterday.
03:16No, no, I'm not exactly chuffed about it either, but let's not let it ruin our Christmas as well.
03:24Oh, my God! This is so much better than mine!
03:28I know.
03:29Did you just guess it was gonna be a girl?
03:31I bought two lots.
03:32I'm sending the blue ones back.
03:34Yeah, very clever.
03:36Hey!
03:37Happy Christmas!
03:41Yeah.
03:42What he said.
03:46Sorry, got a bit of a head.
03:48Celebrating, were you?
03:50Only a bit.
03:52Sure.
03:54How are we?
03:57Disappointed.
03:58It was a bit, you know.
03:59It was massively out of order.
04:03And bonkers.
04:05Last night was supposed to be our wedding night.
04:07Well, you don't need the ring to do the thing.
04:10Seriously.
04:12Sorry.
04:13Well, tell me, he grunts.
04:14Whenever we want.
04:15Yeah.
04:16The sooner the better.
04:17I'm getting dressed.
04:19Sherry?
04:26Computer, stop.
04:29Would you like me to play more Christmas music?
04:32Definitely not.
04:33Now playing Jingle Bell Rock.
04:36Computer, stop.
04:37Oh, no.
04:38Now playing Gold.
04:39Computer, stop.
04:40Or I swear.
04:41Now playing Walking in the Air.
04:43Oh, I like this one.
04:45Here's the thing.
05:07Oh, I like this one.
05:11Here's the thing about knocking on a door
05:13that you don't seem to understand.
05:16Spare me the sarcasm.
05:18Wow, what did you get for Christmas?
05:20Big box feisty?
05:21I made a mistake yesterday when I binned you off.
05:25Making one now if you think that's what happened.
05:28I may have overreacted slightly.
05:32Truth is, I need a posh friend in me life.
05:35Gives me an air of mystery.
05:37Like, people think,
05:38oh, I wonder what Kim sees in that one.
05:40And it's nice just being here,
05:44basking in your magnificence.
05:46And it makes me realise how lucky I am,
05:49you and I being mates.
05:51Like, when you're having issues with your caviar
05:53not being the right temperature,
05:55or too many bubbles in your champagne,
05:57and I think to myself,
05:59at least I don't have Kim's troubles.
06:03So, I'm willing to accept your apology.
06:06And give you another chance.
06:09You'd better pour yourself a drink, then.
06:12What kind of horse do you?
06:13How are you?
06:35Good, thanks.
06:36How are you, really?
06:44Not great.
06:45Come here.
06:46Come on here, cos Johnny pestered.
07:00Noted.
07:02Where's the rest of you boys?
07:04Well, Noah's out working for triple time,
07:07and get this,
07:08Ryan's gone for a turkey curry
07:09with someone called Stabwound,
07:11who we met gaming,
07:13so he's definitely getting murdered.
07:15Go on, drink.
07:17Yeah, I'll just have one.
07:18Oh, knock yourself out, Vanessa.
07:21Slow down, Moses,
07:22and put your helmet on.
07:26He should be wearing a helmet.
07:27You're a helmet.
07:28Get a drink and just shut up.
07:29Oh, sorry.
07:38Is there a speed limit?
07:40No, there isn't.
07:40You crack on.
07:43How are you cracking on with your issue?
07:47Well, it's only an issue
07:48if someone makes it an issue.
07:50It's hardly the subject
07:51for Christmas Day, is it?
07:52Oh, I don't know.
07:53A pregnant woman
07:54and the father
07:55not being who everyone thinks it is.
07:57Oh, cute.
07:58Merry Christmas!
08:00Merry Christmas!
08:01Merry Christmas!
08:03Cheers, auntie.
08:04I didn't know you were coming for dinner.
08:05Oh, no, we're not.
08:07Oh, Johnny and Moses
08:08just said you are.
08:08He's well excited.
08:09We don't mind, do we?
08:10No, we don't mind.
08:12Brilliant idea.
08:16Hey!
08:16Merry Christmas.
08:18Where's Eve?
08:18Upstairs with Harry.
08:20Doing what?
08:20I don't know, do I?
08:21Oh.
08:22Oh, you've got it on.
08:23It's wonderful.
08:23Yeah, you'll fit right in it, WI.
08:25Right, come on, Cardi B.
08:27Get some of these pigs.
08:27How many we feed him?
08:38Has Robert come round to yours?
08:39No.
08:40Why?
08:40Did he say he was good at it?
08:41Well, he's just got off
08:42and now he's not answering his phone.
08:43What, at all?
08:44What do you mean, at all?
08:45He's not going to answer it a little bit, is he?
08:46Don't get crappy.
08:47Well, I'm worried, Vic.
08:48So where is he now, then?
08:49I don't know.
08:53I don't know.
08:57What are we doing?
09:30Right, let's see who runs, Reddy.
09:47Oh, I won!
09:49Oh, sorry, Liam.
09:50Right, come on, yeah. Let's go sit down.
09:54Wow, that Christmas lunch with Pernice really got to you, didn't it?
09:56Not the great famine of 2018, not at all.
10:00I wouldn't worry about Robert, love.
10:03Well, you would if you knew that Kev's back, firing guns.
10:06What?
10:08What is back?
10:10Someone took a shot at us yesterday.
10:12Where was this?
10:13At Butler's.
10:14The police reckon it was just poachers and they were stray shots.
10:18Yeah, well, they're probably right.
10:20Yeah, until we got back and there was an envelope with Kev's wedding ring and a bullet in it.
10:25Oh, my goodness.
10:27Do you reckon we should go and look for him?
10:28I was just going to suggest it, actually.
10:30No, hang on, hang on. Where are you even going to look?
10:32I don't know.
10:32We can't just sit here.
10:34Maybe you should call the police?
10:35And say what?
10:36That my fully grown adult boyfriend's been missing for a couple of hours?
10:38Well, I think I'd also suggest the shooting, the bullet in the ring.
10:43No Charles?
10:45He came earlier.
10:46Thought I'd give him space to be with Ethan by himself.
10:51Never gets any easier, does it?
10:53Tell me about it.
10:55Like, Christmas isn't difficult enough.
10:58I've got three brothers here as well as my dad.
11:00You must miss them very much.
11:02It's been so long.
11:06Sometimes it feels like they were never here at all.
11:09But you must feel like Ethan's barely been gone.
11:15There are still days Charles and I still call his name.
11:19Give him my best.
11:20What are you doing here?
11:30I'm looking to buy a new carpet.
11:36So as I can sweep everything that's happened recently under it.
11:41Looks like you've already started that.
11:46Congratulations, by the way, on your engagement.
11:48Thanks.
12:04I miss him.
12:06Yeah, same.
12:09I miss you.
12:12And you.
12:14Me?
12:17That's all right.
12:17It's Christmas.
12:19And?
12:20What happens at Christmas?
12:22Well, what usually happens is families fall out.
12:26We've already done that.
12:28So is anyone open to moving on to the next phase?
12:33What's that?
12:34We stand around awkwardly.
12:36Not so much.
12:38And then at some point,
12:40preferably very soon,
12:42your bags appear in the hallway at home.
12:44and it's kind of accepted that you've moved back in.
12:50That might work.
12:53Let the awkward standing commence.
12:57Oh, yes.
12:59Let's get some rosy.
13:00Oops.
13:01Oh, hi.
13:02What's up?
13:03Hey!
13:04I told you to wait for your dad.
13:06You OK?
13:10Yeah.
13:10Have you been to Nates grave?
13:12Yeah, I have, mate.
13:14Come here.
13:16Right, come on.
13:17Let's get this show on the road, then.
13:18You know, we've still got time for our knees, that.
13:21I've got to put my feet up.
13:22Old.
13:23Yeah, so old.
13:24Can't even make it to the food.
13:26Come on.
13:28Have this got opened all the presents?
13:29Er, no, not yet.
13:31Oh-ho-ho.
13:33Come on.
13:35Come on, Adia.
13:36Oh, what have you got?
13:38Yeah!
13:40What have you got?
13:41Brilliant, thank you.
13:43Hee-hee-hee.
13:44Now, pass this to your brother.
13:52What have you got?
13:55Right.
13:58Hello!
13:58Come on, Adia.
13:59Hey, how are we all?
14:01Hi.
14:02Hey, how's me big man?
14:04Merry Christmas.
14:05Merry Christmas.
14:06Aw.
14:07Hello, Cain.
14:10Cos it's, er, a spanner.
14:13Yeah, I get it.
14:14Merry Christmas.
14:16Hey, Merry Christmas.
14:17Aw.
14:17Did you get anything nice?
14:18Well done.
14:19Need to get back, too.
14:23And?
14:25Who are you, mister?
14:26It's just another day with our hands, isn't it?
14:30Not really.
14:32No.
14:33No, not really.
14:33No, come here.
14:37Anyway, what do you think she would want me to do, eh, your mum, if she was here?
14:41Have a good time.
14:42So what are we going to do, then?
14:44Have a good time.
14:45Have a good time.
14:46Nailed it.
14:47Right, erm, do we get our own drinks or do you like to control it?
14:51Control, Gary.
14:53Right, come on in.
14:55Brought you some company.
14:56Thanks. A lot.
15:01I really appreciate this. I don't relish the prospect of being in that house all day.
15:07Oh, happy birthday. Hope we're not imposing too much.
15:11How much is too much?
15:13Well, we're enjoying being here just as much as you are having us.
15:16Kim, sit down, get comfy. And you guys. Get on the settee.
15:21Thanks, Sam and Lydia and Belle.
15:24Yeah, no worries. Has Billy got the kids? Yeah.
15:27I feel like we should have some kind of plaque. Kim Tate sat here.
15:31Well, I've got a box of them. I'll bring you one.
15:34Really? A nose hat.
15:36Oh, right. Jokes.
15:39Er, drinks.
15:41Well, Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas.
15:45Feels like I should let you drink from the welly, but it's only really for people joining family.
15:50Well, disappointed as I am not to be drinking moonshine from weather-resistant footwear.
15:55I'll try not to let it ruin my festive mood.
15:58Will this do? Oh.
16:01My absolute favourite.
16:03Merry Christmas.
16:04Oh, Merry Christmas.
16:05Merry Christmas and all that.
16:06Where's your dad and the kids?
16:07Well, he fell asleep so they're drawing on his face.
16:08Nobody ever wants to finish deviling him.
16:09Yeah, Dottie's gone round to film it for YouTube.
16:12I thought I heard an entrance.
16:13Oh, Merry Christmas.
16:14Yes, do you?
16:15Have you two met properly?
16:16Well, he's been at the cafe about half a million times.
16:17No, formerly I meant.
16:18Like in Westminster Abbey or Summer?
16:19Well, I've heard a lot about you.
16:20Oh, really?
16:21No, but you make a good coffee.
16:22Oh, no.
16:23I'm not.
16:24I'm not.
16:25I'm not.
16:26I'm not.
16:27I'm not.
16:28I'm not.
16:29I'm not.
16:30I'm not.
16:31I'm not.
16:32I'm not.
16:33I'm not.
16:35I'm not.
16:36I'm not.
16:37I'm not.
16:38I'm not.
16:39I'm not.
16:40I'm not.
16:41I'm not.
16:42I'm not.
16:43I'm not.
16:44Not been bigging me up, then?
16:47I'll let your majestic presence speak for it, sir.
16:50Oh.
16:51In a decade's time, this is what you'll have to deal with from her.
16:56I'll settle for that.
17:02Hey!
17:03Excuse me.
17:04Wow.
17:05You've finished already.
17:06I was assuming drinking quickly was some sort of rule.
17:09Yeah, but we haven't had a toast yet.
17:11Well, you're going to have to do it without me because we are going for a walk with Vinnie.
17:14Is this pre-planned or is it an escape?
17:17Pre-planned.
17:18Promise.
17:19But, er, I might see you later.
17:20It's all right.
17:21Sorry.
17:23Right then.
17:24Yeah.
17:25What, er, what we're drinking to?
17:28Business as usual?
17:29Business as usual.
17:30Er, can I just check?
17:32Are you too under the impression that I'm giving you your jobs back?
17:37Because I want to make it very clear that I am.
17:41Oh, you beggar.
17:42I was going, then.
17:44Hey, Sam.
17:47What?
17:48What?
17:49What?
17:50What?
17:51Sure what?
17:52Won't what?
17:53Drink from the welly.
17:54Drink from the welly.
17:55Drink from the welly.
17:56Drink from the welly.
17:57Drink from the welly.
17:58Drink from the welly.
17:59Drink from the welly.
18:00This is very weird.
18:01I'm uncomfortable.
18:02Drink from the welly.
18:03Drink from the welly.
18:04Drink from the welly.
18:05Drink from the welly.
18:06Drink from the welly.
18:07Drink from the welly.
18:08Drink from the welly.
18:09Drink from the welly.
18:10Drink from the welly.
18:11Drink from the welly.
18:12Drink from the welly.
18:13Still don't mean you're a dingle, Will.
18:21Oh, imagine my devastation.
18:23Not that this isn't the pinnacle of my drinking experiences,
18:27but would anyone care for some red wine from my salon?
18:30I thought you just kept corpses in that.
18:32Yes, that sounds really good. Let's go.
18:34OK, I'll come with you.
18:35Can I choose some or not?
18:36Well, we'd be foolish to disregard your impeccable taste.
18:40Is that a yes or a no?
18:41Come on, Sam.
18:42It's all right.
18:44Nothing with dust on.
18:47I was banging on at you a bit earlier, weren't I?
18:52Well, we all need banging on at from time to time.
18:57But time to time, not all the time.
19:00Noted.
19:02You know, you're lucky.
19:05I know.
19:06And Sam is extremely lucky.
19:08I don't know about that.
19:10Yes, you do.
19:11He looks after me.
19:13Well, I'm glad to hear it.
19:15Would you mind if I looked after you two?
19:20What do you mean?
19:21Oh, like, say, you still inheriting Home Farm?
19:31Have you forgotten how to count?
19:36I've tried to prepare for everything beyond the extent of preparation.
19:40Do you know who's in there?
19:41Nelson Mandela.
19:42Taylor Swift.
19:43Right, come on.
19:44Let's go look for him.
19:45Chas, can you watch Harry?
19:46No need.
19:47But he's about to turn six, not sixty.
19:49Finally!
19:50You knew I was nipping out.
19:53And where have you been getting your phone fixed?
19:55Been calling you.
19:56What, because I've been gone a couple of hours?
19:57And it's been longer than that.
19:59Well, it must have been on silent.
20:00Sorry.
20:01Well, it's just, we thought, you know.
20:03Kev had got you.
20:04Told us about it yesterday.
20:05What?
20:06No.
20:07No, don't worry about that.
20:08Done with that madman interfering with our lives.
20:10Hello, hello!
20:11Hey!
20:12First of all, greetings.
20:13Oh, hiya.
20:14Merry Christmas.
20:15I thought you were off seeing Steph.
20:16Nana's tomorrow.
20:17Are we alright?
20:18Yes, don't worry.
20:19The Taylor Swift Appreciation Society has got it all covered.
20:22She caught you in that sparkly dress again.
20:24You wish.
20:25Oh, you come bearing gifts.
20:26How come you're suddenly not worried anymore?
20:28Cos what's the point?
20:30It's Christmas.
20:32Relax.
20:33Relax.
21:03So, Eric, this thing with you and Kerry, was it a slow burn or...?
21:18Kerry and I have been extremely fond of each other for a very long time.
21:25And the fondness has blossomed into a deep and mutual love.
21:32Do they?
21:33Puts to catch it.
21:34Oh.
21:35Right.
21:36And now what?
21:37Eat it, Bo.
21:38Put it on your heart.
21:39Hey!
21:40Sweet, sweet!
21:41Nice fit, mate.
21:42A counterfeit.
21:43Thanks for these.
21:44They're great.
21:45You're welcome, babe.
21:46So, are you, like...
21:47a...
21:48a...
21:49a...
21:50a...
21:51a...
21:52a...
21:53a...
21:54a...
21:55a...
21:56a...
21:57a...
21:58a...
21:59a...
22:00a...
22:01Do you like our Granddad?
22:03Now you two are married.
22:05Ha!
22:06He he he!
22:07Is that okay?
22:08Doesn't make a difference.
22:10Oh, banger!
22:13Oh, there she goes!
22:16Yes, kid!
22:22No, kid!
22:23Hey, where are you going?
22:27Quiet Christmas, you said, right, come on you, let's go, bring that with you.
22:30OK, see you later, take care, bye!
22:32Bye!
22:33Bye!
22:40Oh, one of them stoops a visit downstairs.
22:43Are the other two joining us any time soon?
22:44I mean, do they know it's Christmas time?
22:47At all?
22:48Well, the presents were a bit of a clue, er, but, yeah.
22:51I've got a little something for you.
22:54Dylan!
22:55Are you a guest?
22:56Alright, everyone, Merry Christmas.
22:58You said you couldn't get out of hospital.
23:00Yeah, I lied, I'm out.
23:01How are you feeling, sweetheart?
23:02Er, better for seeing this one.
23:04Well, it's been so long.
23:07You OK?
23:08Hello.
23:09Come here.
23:10I love you.
23:11Gonna be all right, aren't we?
23:12Yeah.
23:13Where's Eve?
23:15Er, with Chas.
23:16Where's your mum?
23:17She's with, er, with Charles and Claudette.
23:19Oh, she's blowing you out, have she?
23:20Yeah, that's it.
23:22At least you know who your parent is.
23:24Sorry.
23:25I love you.
23:26I love you.
23:27I love you.
23:28I love you.
23:29I love you.
23:30I love you.
23:31I love you all right, it's Christmas day effect.
23:37I've got to be a rice. It's Christmas Day of Venk.
23:52OK, right, I'll miss a book.
24:10Oh, this should be good. What the Ladybird Heard. No? What the Ladybird Heard Next?
24:17Well, that's the only two books you've ever read.
24:18Oh, er, The Godfather, that's a book. No, no, no, no, we have to wait, right, for how many words first.
24:24Right, of course. Two, three, four words.
24:27Four words, that's barely a headline. That's how many words are in the title.
24:31Oh, erm, Fifty Shades of Grey.
24:34Well, if you start mumming that, I'm gouging me her now.
24:37No, Grey, he's going to give us some clues, all right.
24:40You're like Crocodile Dundee when he went to New York and had not a clue what was going on.
24:44Ooh, Jimmy and his highbrow cultural reference.
24:46Anyway, you, Ray knows plenty about Christmas. Show him your bracelet.
24:49Look, Nicola, no, Nicola, we're playing a game. We're playing a game.
24:52We're playing a game.
24:53Ooh, fancy. What have you been doing? Mining cryptocurrency?
24:56Oh, nothing that lucrative.
24:58Lucrative enough? I had nothing better to spend my money on.
25:01Oh, thanks.
25:02No, I didn't look at that.
25:03Oh, no, don't battle now. I'm really offended.
25:06Look, this is going to take all day. I'm going to give you a verbal clue.
25:10It's what I want to do to Nicola, sometimes.
25:12Sexy time.
25:13Oh, no. Not on a Thursday.
25:15Oh, hang on, I know it. Erm, Tequila Mockingbird.
25:20Ooh!
25:21You got it! You got it!
25:23You got it!
25:24Funny man. Wait till you're asleep and see what happens to your face.
25:27Right, come and get another drink.
25:29And then I'm telling you everything you're going to be buying me for Christmas next year.
25:32Have you got a play?
25:34Is this too much?
25:35This is the best Christmas ever.
25:37Oh, I don't know whether that makes me really happy or really sad.
25:40Well, it makes me happy.
25:42Well, play your cards right and you can have another one of these next year.
25:47Yeah?
25:48Oh, decent, that one.
25:54Thank you for your effusive praise.
25:57Hey, hey, so I've got you one more present.
26:01Well, I sort of maybe kind of got it for myself, but are you ready?
26:04Go on.
26:05Eh?
26:06Yeah.
26:07We used to play that to Destruction when you were little, didn't we?
26:12I mean, literally, I think we went through about four of them.
26:14I had to buy a new one every other Christmas.
26:16And how did you manage that?
26:17Well, I used to, I found it very tense.
26:19I used to snap the little plastic doors.
26:21Yeah, you used to rage quit every time you lost, I seem to recall.
26:25I did not.
26:26Always.
26:27Anyway, she used to ask such weird questions.
26:29Does yours look like it could ride a horse?
26:31Yeah, I won every time.
26:32Ridiculously.
26:33So we're playing then or what?
26:35Well, that sounds dangerous.
26:36Yeah, and it's only for two players.
26:38There's only two players.
26:39Look, we can team up, we can take turns.
26:43I just, I feel really lucky to be having this Christmas after where we were last year
26:48and this would just be the icing on the cake.
26:51Indulge your old dad.
26:53Fine.
26:54Yeah?
26:55We'll play at the table.
26:56So you can turn it over when you lose.
26:58Oh!
26:59There's pudding.
27:00Oh!
27:01Oh!
27:02I'll just do it in a sec.
27:04Have you just helped, helped Dylan?
27:06Yeah.
27:07One sec.
27:08Alright.
27:09Hello?
27:10I'm coming.
27:11Things are gonna be okay.
27:12Do you know that?
27:13Yeah, I do.
27:14It's me.
27:15Promise me you'll leave my family alone.
27:16Okay.
27:17Then I'll do it.
27:18I'll come with ya.
27:19I'll come with ya.
27:20is gonna be okay. Do you know that?
27:22Yeah, I do.
27:34It's me.
27:36Promise me you'll leave my family alone.
27:40Okay.
27:42Then I'll do it.
27:44I'll come with you.
27:46Come on.
27:52I've got a shot of the mouth rack.
27:54It's done, it's done, it's done.
27:56It's done, it's done.
27:58Here we go.
28:00Here we go.
28:02Come on, mate.
28:04What a surprise.
28:06Are you good at making ladies jokes?
28:08What a surprise.
28:10You're good at making ladies jokes.
28:12Let's get there.
28:14You're good at making ladies drinks.
28:16Do you want a soft drink?
28:17Oh, I do.
28:18It's pretty good, that man.
28:20I can't believe you long straws.
28:22Are they beetroot?
28:23Wow.
28:24I don't know.
28:25Why don't we play Cards Against Decency?
28:27Oh, yeah.
28:29No, we can't. I went and chucked them out.
28:31Why?
28:32Because he was reading all the cards and quoting from them randomly.
28:35It's like we were living with Frankie Boyle.
28:37I know a game I can play.
28:39Go on, then.
28:41Let's play Truth or Dare.
28:46Oh, nah.
28:48It's well boring.
28:49And anyway, everyone chooses dares, so...
28:51So, you book the trend then, Charity.
28:54Go truth.
28:56Ooh! Anyone want another drink?
28:58Yeah, yeah, I'll have another one, thanks.
29:00Or, I've got another one.
29:02Oh, this is a really good one.
29:04Never Have I Ever.
29:06Shall we play that?
29:07Why don't we play it in a minute when you've had some fresh air, darling?
29:10Never Have I Ever.
29:12Ooh!
29:13Let's think, what shall I go with?
29:15Never Have I Ever.
29:16Come on.
29:17Never Have I Ever.
29:19Ripped by anyone's head off their shoulders, but you know what?
29:22The night is yet young.
29:23Come on!
29:24Never Have I Ever.
29:25Never Have You Ever been this drunk lately.
29:27Oh, shit.
29:28It's out.
29:29Don't worry.
29:30Don't worry.
29:31Don't worry.
29:32Don't worry.
29:33Come on, come on.
29:34Oh, come on then.
29:35Who are ya?
29:36And why have you done this?
29:38Have you lost your tongue, yeah?
29:39Oh, no.
29:40Wait, that's right.
29:41Not yet, you haven't.
29:42All right, well, come on then.
29:44Who are you and why have you done this?
29:49Have you lost your tongue, yeah?
29:51Oh, no, wait, that's right, not yet you haven't,
29:53because I'm gonna cut it off and that's just for the start.
29:59Well, that's a big threat.
30:01From a man in your very precarious position.
30:12You know, I know who you are.
30:30No.
30:32Saved on introductions.
30:34Johnny Psycho, the murderer.
30:36Not true.
30:38Hmm.
30:40That kid wrapped himself up in tarpaulin and jumped in the lake of the air.
30:43Show some respect.
30:45That kid had a name.
30:47Nate.
30:49And his death was an accident.
30:51Right.
30:52Well, that'll be why nobody hates you then.
30:54Nobody refers to you as a massive nutter.
30:59Not very popular, are you?
31:08You know, truth be told, I made some mistakes.
31:15I let things slip.
31:18But now I'm gonna make up for it.
31:21The storm's coming.
31:26Not literally, idiot.
31:29Reed.
31:33You caused a bit of one though, didn't you?
31:35What, with your little siege?
31:37Yeah, I read all about that in the news.
31:39Sword.
31:40Very, er...
31:41Very visually arresting.
31:45Not quite as effective as a bullet though.
31:47I came this close.
31:49To putting one through your husband's head yesterday.
31:53Just after I drugged you.
31:55And stopped you shooting my husband.
31:59No, I was so wrong about you.
32:01You're completely mentally stable.
32:03Aaron really does not know what he's missing.
32:06Aaron is not gonna miss out on anything.
32:07He knows where his future lies.
32:10But there's a bit of work to be done first though.
32:14Well, this is your little squat, is it?
32:17I like what you've done with the place.
32:19Well, I see.
32:21Yours, it's, er...
32:22It's mine, now.
32:24Hmm.
32:25Well, it suits you.
32:28Just need to knock together a little padded cell for you.
32:30Because that's where you're ending up.
32:33I'm ending up with Aaron.
32:35Together, like we are meant to be.
32:38Happy, content, and committed to each other.
32:42With you and Robert nowhere to be seen.
32:45By anyone ever again.
32:47Tell me one thing me coming clean will achieve.
32:51I'll tell you two.
32:53She'll know the truth.
32:54Jacob will know the truth.
32:55And also, Mac will know the truth.
32:56And yeah, I know that's three.
32:57I've had a drink. Sue me.
32:59Oh no, beautiful speech, Vanessa.
33:01Have you got another one to help Sarah pick herself up off the floor once her life's in bits?
33:06Feels like that's your job, don't you think?
33:08No, it doesn't have to be anybody's job if I just, if they just, if they just lie to her for the rest of her life.
33:14She's never gonna forgive me for this, and you know that.
33:21Mmm.
33:22Fair for that, Liam.
33:23You know, I've always thought of Eat and Mess as one of those terrible games that they play at boarding school.
33:28Oh!
33:29Well, it's a good thing we've finished our food before you gave us that disgusting image.
33:32Kindred spirits.
33:39Oh, cute.
33:40I am actually, yeah.
33:41Do you have any idea how hard it is to finding a graveyard on Christmas Day?
33:44She's that where you've been.
33:53Oh, sorry, is this a private party?
33:56It doesn't have to be. Sit down.
33:57We didn't want to intrude.
33:59No, no, no, not at all.
34:00Oh.
34:01Is Mary not with you?
34:02No, she's a...
34:03She's a very keen Scrabble player.
34:05Very keen.
34:06And serious.
34:08We didn't lie to her.
34:09I said I wanted to check on Kevin.
34:12To see if he'd checked in with you at all.
34:14Has he?
34:15No.
34:16I got a card.
34:18Just said Kay.
34:20I know what he's done.
34:21But no one should be alone at this time if you...
34:23Do you want a drink?
34:25Ooh.
34:26I reckon Claudette could be trouble on Bubbles.
34:28I'm not.
34:29I'm Randy on Shandy.
34:32I'll have a Shandy.
34:34Just joking.
34:35Or am I?
34:38Cheers, everyone.
34:39Well, just, just hang on a sec.
34:45I'm not really a fan of publicly humiliating myself.
34:49Oh, well that's not true.
34:50But carry on.
34:52Ah, it's good. It's very good.
34:54Erm, I just...
34:56I just wanted to say, this year's been a bit...
34:58Well, I mean, even by our standards, er...
35:00It's, er...
35:02It's been a weird one.
35:06It's been hard, mostly.
35:08And very hard.
35:10Sometimes.
35:14And scary.
35:16And...
35:18It's been sad.
35:20Well, it's also been...
35:25Amazing.
35:27And although you...
35:29Most of you are...
35:31A pain in the backside.
35:33Erm...
35:34You're family.
35:36We're family.
35:38And...
35:40I'm glad we've got each other.
35:42So, you know...
35:44Merry Christmas.
35:45Merry Christmas.
35:46Merry Christmas.
35:47Merry Christmas.
35:49Merry Christmas.
35:51To family.
35:52Well, and you.
35:55Sarah wants this baby so much.
35:58No, she wants her baby so much.
36:00And this isn't that.
36:02You got pregnant by your husband.
36:05Your husband, who's already had one child ripped out of his life
36:10and despite your age-defying lady bits,
36:12isn't likely to get another chance at being a dad.
36:16It's just...
36:18It's so wrong on so many levels.
36:20Do you know what else it is?
36:22None of my business.
36:24Bingo!
36:25So, do you know what I'm going to do right now?
36:27I'm going to go home and I suggest you follow and get Johnny
36:30and go home yourself.
36:32Preferably without shouting your mouth off.
36:42What?
36:43Merry Christmas.
36:44Merry Christmas.
36:45Merry Christmas.
36:46Merry Christmas.
36:47Merry Christmas.
36:48Right.
36:49Torch is on.
36:51Okay.
36:52Let's go see Grandad.
36:53Do you want it?
36:54We'll swap.
36:57A bit of quiet on the way over here.
36:59You been thinking about your mum?
37:00Always.
37:01I didn't even get to buy her a present.
37:02Oh, yeah.
37:03I'll never get to buy her a present again.
37:05Ka-ching.
37:06What were we doing?
37:07We didn't think of that spanner was your Christmas present, did you?
37:08Yeah.
37:09I'll never get to buy her a present again.
37:11Ka-ching.
37:14What are we doing?
37:15We didn't think of that spanner was your Christmas present, did you?
37:19Yeah.
37:20again. Ka-ching. What are we doing? Well, you didn't think of that spanner was your Christmas
37:32present, did you? Yeah. What's this? This is a lot of hard work. So you up for it? Me? Why?
37:50Because this is your car. Merry Christmas, son. Are you actually mine? Well, I mean, it's
37:58a bit of a state at the moment. Okay. Well, it won't be when we're finished, though, because
38:05me and you are going to turn this into the best car for miles. Three years. What? Well,
38:11you know, until you're old enough to drive it when you're 17. So you up for it or what?
38:16Yeah, definitely.
38:46Like I didn't exist.
38:55Okay.
39:04Okay.
39:05Okay.
39:06Can you stop walking into me, please?
39:30We're certain it's me that's walking into you, are we?
39:33Absolutely. 110%.
39:35Oh, no. Don't be that person.
39:37What person?
39:38A butcher of percentages.
39:41Butcherer is not a word.
39:43Yes, it is.
39:44What's it mean, then?
39:47Someone who butchers.
39:49It's just a butcher.
39:52Are you going to open the door, then, or what?
39:53You've got the keys.
39:54Oh, you've got the keys.
39:55You've got the keys in your hand right now.
39:58Oh!
40:00I think I might be a bit drunk.
40:02Yeah, well, you're stone-cold sober compared to Aaron.
40:04Do you think you're still asleep?
40:06Oh, yeah.
40:08You'll be flat out in that back room all night.
40:12Right.
40:13Hush!
40:18Where have you been?
40:21Out.
40:21Yeah, I think the clue was when you walked back in.
40:25Where'd you go?
40:26I went for a walk.
40:29Oh, right.
40:30Be like that, Mr. International Man of Mystery.
40:33So, not an easy day, then.
40:42Well, it's been fun.
40:43Where is everyone?
40:46Er, Vanessa and Johnny have gone home.
40:49Sarah and Jacob went out with Moses on his new scooter,
40:51and Ross trailed off like a bad smell on a gentle breeze.
40:57We are alone.
41:01For once.
41:03Do you want to take advantage?
41:05Mm-hmm.
41:06And we're good.
41:08We're great.
41:12Come on, then.
41:12Come on, let's go.
41:42Come on, let's go.
41:48Come on.
42:11That's better.
42:34Big day, eh?
42:37Big year.
42:38And I thought it was going to be the best year ever, but...
42:43Yeah, yeah. I'll go and check. Won't be sick.
43:08Yeah, he's fine. He won't be tomorrow, but that's his problem.
43:13No, he's fine. He won't be tomorrow, but that's his problem.
43:27So many people care about you, but not one of them as much as I do.
43:422025 has been a shocking year, but...
43:46...26, no.
43:50That is going to be the best year ever.
43:53Because you and me, we're going to be together.
43:56No matter what.
44:04Transcription by CastingWords
44:34CastingWords
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