- 2 hours ago
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00:00Music
00:27It was Chris, we'd see you back
00:32In the drunk tank
00:36An old man sat in
00:40Won't see another one
00:44And then we sang a song
00:49The rare old mountain tune
00:53I turned my face away
00:57And dreamed about you
01:01Got on a lucky one
01:06Came in and looked into one
01:10I've got a feeling
01:14There's years remaining
01:18So happy Christmas
01:23I love you baby
01:27I can see a better time
01:31When all our dreams come true
01:35Happy Christmas
01:36They got cars, figures, bars
01:49They got rivers of gold
01:51But the windows run through you
01:52It's no place for the old
01:54When you first took my hand
01:55On a cold Christmas Eve
01:57You promised me Broadway was waiting for me
02:00You were handsome
02:01You were pretty queen
02:02I've knew your city
02:03When the band finished playing
02:04When the band finished playing
02:06You know she's invited Adam and Alya, don't you?
02:08Oh, don't
02:09I mean, she could have invited one of your exes
02:11Balance it out a bit
02:12Who's she?
02:14The cat's mother?
02:15Do you like what I got Eva?
02:17It reminds me of that quote from the Bible
02:20Pearls before swine
02:22Ma!
02:23What?
02:24Why is everyone so serious?
02:26Come on, it's Christmas!
02:28Our first guest has arrived
02:30Merry Christmas
02:31Hello, thank you
02:32A secret Santa contribution
02:34I hope I'm not too early
02:35Oh, of course not
02:36Nan's been on the eggnog since breakfast
02:38The mouth on that
02:40Let me get you one, Megan
02:42Wait till you taste it
02:43You'll die
02:45Mwah
02:47Don't let her get to you
02:48Rise above it
02:50Oh, I'm rising
02:51Practically transcendental
02:53Hm
02:59Closed?
03:01Closed on Christmas Day?
03:05I mean, it's like the ravens have left the tower
03:08They will be opening later, I believe
03:10Family meal?
03:12I mean, lucky for some, eh?
03:14In case of I'm alright, Jack, if ever I've heard one
03:18Happy birthday, David
03:20Yeah, ta
03:22Oh, yes, happy, er
03:23Mm, you know
03:27Merry Christmas
03:28You're a little late for last-minute shopping, aren't you?
03:30Oh, no, I wish
03:31No, wouldn't late for work
03:33See?
03:34Yes, fascinating
03:37I'm not surprised he doesn't want to be at home at the moment
03:41Why?
03:43What's been happening at Lesbian Ranch?
03:50My donation for our secret Santa
03:55Oh, yeah, erm, the table looks dead nice, Eva
03:58I hope you'll be handing out sunglasses
04:01Now, Ollie, as wonderful as it is to see you bonding with little Frankie here
04:05Don't you think you should go check on the food?
04:08Of course
04:10Everything's under control, Nan
04:13He's making my favourite
04:15A bird within a bird within a bird
04:18You seen something you don't like, Maggie?
04:25Plenty
04:30Ta-da
04:32Hey
04:34Oh, I hate leaving you on your own
04:36I'm gonna sit and mope and watch everything I've circled in the TV Guide
04:40Well, at least you know I'll come back sober
04:42Yep, Kev's enough to make anyone leave that
04:46Right, come on then, me and you, let's get off
04:49To see Jack and open some presents
04:52See you later, Missy
04:53Oh, some presents?
04:54More presents!
04:55Thanks
05:04It just feels weird being here
05:06Especially when I'm leaving Leanne to fend for herself at speed, darling
05:08Well, they invited us
05:10And Ollie's meant to be a great cook, so...
05:12Come on, open it
05:13It's symbolic
05:17Of what?
05:18The key to your heart
05:20Listen, I love you
05:22And I think we should move in together
05:25In fact, we can pick up the keys for Kit's old flat at Red Bank whenever you want
05:30Are you serious?
05:31Yeah, I'm serious
05:33Ali and Azir, will you make me the happiest man on earth?
05:35And there's anything
05:37I'd love to
05:41Kit, what did you think you were doing?
05:43Ah, come on, babe, it's Christmas
05:44One or two won't hurt
05:46As long as it's only one or two
05:48Bird within a bird within a bird sounds very...
05:53Henry VIII
05:55Divorced, beheaded, died
05:57Divorced, beheaded...
05:58Survived
06:00I always find that last one very disappointing
06:02Hey!
06:04Hey!
06:05Merry Christmas!
06:06Merry Christmas, Daniel
06:07Hello, young man
06:08Just wanted to give Megan a Christmas present
06:10Oh, and is this your little guy?
06:13Couldn't you just eat him?
06:15Come here to me
06:17Oh, you're gorgeous
06:19You must stay for dinner
06:21We'll set two more places
06:23We have more company
06:25Well, I'm sure Daniel's got all the places to be
06:27Hey, us barlows would do anything to avoid Tracy's crusty old nut roast
06:31Perfect!
06:33We'll take the little lad upstairs to where the other kids are playing
06:36And would someone give Daniel here a drink from the bar?
06:39Thought we weren't doing gifts
06:41Well, aren't you going to open it?
06:42Open it
06:48So...
06:50A weekend away at the Dovedale Spa for two
06:55Oh, wow!
06:56That's supposed to be amazing
06:58Thank you
07:00Will!
07:01Sorry about him
07:13He's missing his girlfriend
07:15Chloe and Hull
07:18Bless him
07:22So, Audrey's gone to Gales for Christmas, has she?
07:25Did she fly?
07:26Yeah, bless her
07:27Oh, I so miss air travel
07:30You know, the glamour of the trolley dollies
07:32In-flight entertainments
07:34And on one particularly memorable jaunt across the Grand Canyon
07:37The giddy thrills of the Mile High Club
07:40I hope you two don't want feeding
07:43David!
07:45Worry not, we're not peripatetic noshers
07:47We just drop by to wish you felicitations of the season
07:50And a happy birthday, of course
07:52Sorry, er, David's a bit stressed
07:54His birthday present from his mum's gone missing
07:56Well, I'm not bothered, do I look bothered?
07:59Yes, David, actually, you look incredibly bothered
08:01Oh, the curse of the light-fingered postman strikes again
08:05Abby Demi is not light-fingered
08:07Abby Demi's quite fit, actually
08:09Oh, broad!
08:11You know, Mother swore blind that she sent me Ben Shepard novelty coasters last Michaelmas
08:16Did they arrive? Did they poncho?
08:18Gail sent a picture that the delivery driver took
08:22Whose doorstep does that look like to you?
08:24I mean, I had to make my own out of cork flooring, pastry cutter and a couple of taker breaks
08:29Well, it's classic Gail, innit?
08:31She's got a postcode to a house that she lived at for four million years
08:34Could that be Tim and Sally's?
08:37I don't want a stupid present, anyway
08:42Oh!
08:43Now that is one hell of a moist breast
08:48Clumptious, that's what it is
08:51Oh, potatoes think it's Christmas
08:53Oh, hang on a minute, it is!
08:55And compliments to the chef
08:57Thank you, Todd
08:59Cheers!
09:01I'm the sous chef
09:03Did you get my email?
09:06Oh, I'm so sorry, that's so rude of me
09:09Yes, thank you very much
09:11What email?
09:13Summer's got him the most amazing gift she was telling us before
09:16Lovely
09:17I'm jealous
09:18I am, I am spitting feathers
09:20Right, so you know he really fancies Andrew Scott
09:23So I have got him tickets to an Andrew Scott retrospective at a film festival
09:28Including a Q&A with the man himself
09:31Was Andrew Scott in Etty Wainthrop?
09:33Oh, lucky Etty
09:35I don't think so
09:37Didn't know you were such a fan of his canon of work
09:41I don't think it was that canon he was interested in
09:43Oh, what did the kids get you for you? Was it socks and smellies?
09:48Oh, kids, honestly
09:50They can be so unimaginative, can't they?
09:52Do you know what Daisy got me one Christmas?
09:55What?
09:56A pencil sharpener
09:58No, they've not got me now yet, but I'm sure that'll be rectified soon
10:03I got to try the form, didn't I love?
10:07Yeah, it's gorgeous
10:09Oh, isn't it amazing we can get in the 50 piece shop these days
10:13Is it Andrew Scott, though, eh?
10:15I don't think he is
10:16He thinks you fancy Terry Scott
10:18He's that hot priest in that thing where she went round being posh talking to him
10:22Oh, yes, no, I know, I know, yeah, yeah
10:25Speaking of vicars
10:27Billy's taking his time, isn't he?
10:29It's his busiest day of the year, innit?
10:31Ah, all these hot priests everywhere, eh?
10:34What a lucky boy you are, Tor, eh?
10:38This is lovely
10:40Really good
10:41You all right, Lisa Lou?
10:47Erm, I got a text from Roy, he says you rang the hotel that Cara booked on and she never checked in
10:54Oh, no biggie, maybe she changed her mind and went somewhere else
10:58Well, obviously she went somewhere else, the question is where, and she's disabled the tracker on her phone, so...
11:04Right
11:06Well, I'm nipping out for an hour
11:09What now?
11:10Well, I can't divulge too much, but even on Christmas Day there's stuff I need to sort for Spain
11:15Crikey, you're in and out all times I lived in, Carla
11:19Sorry
11:20Mm-hmm
11:23Sorry
11:35Hey, I just wanted to check you were cool with me and Ali have been here, Maggie kinda press ganged us
11:40Yeah, she's good at that, it's fine, darling
11:43You okay?
11:44My letter
11:46Which letter? The letter?
11:49I think someone's taken it out of my bag
11:51Look, let me have a look in your bag, maybe a fresh pair of ice
12:10I've done nothing but check it, fill your boots
12:14I don't believe that it's just fallen out somewhere
12:16Well, if it has, someone's obviously chucked it, which is a good thing, no news is good news
12:21I feel sick, it's not there, is it?
12:23No
12:24Oh, do you know what, Maggie's been so off with me, but then she's like that every day, isn't she?
12:28I'm sure if she'd found it, you'd know by now
12:30Yeah, that's true
12:31Look, calm down, deep breaths
12:34All right, babe, everything all right in here?
12:37Yeah, fine
12:38I'd better, erm...
12:39Listen, babe, I've got no problem with your ex being here but holding hands
12:47I know, I'm sorry
12:48What happens the next time we walk in, he's unhooking your bra?
12:50He was just giving me a pep talk
12:52With his fingers?
12:53Babe, I was just getting wound up about Maggie, he was just calming me down
12:56So come to me, not Bonnie Prince Charlie
12:58I know, I'm sorry
13:00Look, for what it's worth, I'm sorry about my ma
13:02Which bit?
13:04All of her
13:06Come on, babe, strength of the numbers
13:07Welcome
13:26You all right?
13:30I'm sorry to hear about your mum
13:32Yeah
13:34It's what it is
13:36Happens to us all eventually, I guess
13:42You must miss her
13:44I'm being daft, really, but...
13:47Yeah
13:48Nothing daft about it
13:50People are still around, you wanna make the most of him
13:55It's what we need, isn't it?
13:56What?
13:58Human contact
14:04You haven't stolen Gail's presents
14:07Yeah, but that looks like your doorstep, doesn't it?
14:10That's nothing like our doorstep, you plum
14:13Well, Mary said it was
14:15Well, has Mary got a degree in step recognising?
14:18Well, it might have been Brian
14:20Have you been shaming us on some sort of chat group?
14:23No, they came round for Christmas drinks
14:26Oh, since when were you, Pally, with Brian and Mary?
14:29I'm not
14:30You've never invited us round for Christmas drinks
14:32Look, I'm sure I would have noticed if one of our presents said
14:35Happy birthday, David, love, Mum
14:37Yeah
14:39Yeah, I suppose
14:40Well, you don't mind, I'm not bothered anyway
14:42I didn't wanna tell your face that
14:44Do you know what, Tim? Forget it!
14:45Mmm
14:49Nice ta
14:51Very festive
14:54I made that
14:56Yeah
14:58Bit dry
15:00Well, now you've had your meds and some scram
15:03You're gonna leave a nice reassuring voice note for my lady wife
15:06No, I'm not
15:08I'm not doing it
15:11You know when she realises I'm missing, she'll come looking for me
15:15Oh, right
15:17Do you really think so?
15:19You see, that's not the impression I got last night when she was...
15:24Oh, no, I don't wanna rub it in
15:27You can probably smell her perfume on me
15:33If I found the evidence that you're corrupt
15:36It's only a matter of time before this due to
15:39Oi, Miss World, shut your face
15:40Just need to reply to my lease
15:44Just need to reply to my lease
15:47Oh, she wants me
16:01She wants me
16:04Maybe I'm just better than you
16:06Oh, did I mention that we slept together last night?
16:09Again
16:11My bad, Naughty Becky
16:15That's what she said, actually
16:16He's acting like you used to a serious
16:28Oh, come on, it's not like I got him a present
16:31Or me
16:33Oh, really?
16:35Well, I feel a bit daft now
16:38Well, I feel a bit daft now
16:40Well, open it then
16:43A new earbuds, thanks
16:48There you are
16:53I feel I should be banging a gong
16:54Come in now, will you?
16:57Dinner is served
17:03Got a skirt on?
17:04It's a skirt
17:06Oh, oh!
17:07Sound of music!
17:09My girl, my girl
17:11Oh, I love that film
17:14I played Maria on the ships
17:16Oh, here we go, here we go
17:18We did the whole thing in 40 minutes
17:20I was basically editing highlights
17:21It was me spinning around on the Alp
17:23And then it cut straight to that Rolf
17:25Pulling a gun on those poor kiddies
17:27Good heavens
17:28They don't have like kiddies
17:29The wrong side of 30
17:31Still, the audience went nuts for it
17:33I've got loads of these fascinating anecdotes
17:35I've got loads of these fascinating anecdotes
17:36I've got Glenda
17:37If you ever suffer from insomnia
17:38Phone her up and ask her about a 12-minute chitty-chitty bang
17:40Here we go
17:42It's a song
17:43It's hard to tell with your acting
17:45Five words
17:46Yes, please, love
17:48First word, first word
17:50You okay?
17:52They're not answering
17:53Who?
17:54I'm trying to video call the kids
17:56No
17:58What are you doing?
18:00Oh
18:02Oh, he's
18:03A little more tipsy than he thinks, eh?
18:06I'll, um...
18:10Exactly
18:12This is so much better than Tracy's not
18:14What is it exactly?
18:15It's a big record?
18:17Mm-hmm
18:18It's a bird within a bird within a bird
18:20Ollie?
18:21It's a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey
18:24Do you like it?
18:25Yeah, it's fantastic, isn't it?
18:26Mm, so are the roasted
18:28And this not roast is definitely not crusty
18:31My grandson is a very special cook
18:34In fact, all my boys are special
18:37And they deserve to be surrounded by special things, Lauren
18:41How are the kids, well?
18:46Yeah, fine
18:47You're not tempted to stay with them
18:51My boys deserve only the best
18:54In life, in work, and especially in love
18:57Uh, is it time for Secret Santa yet?
19:05Food first
19:07Fun later
19:11So, um, do you like being a chef?
19:14I do, yeah
19:16Yeah, well, I'm in a rubbish cup now
19:18I bet you're not
19:19Nah, I am
19:20I could burn a salad
19:21We'll have to pout you for speed, darling
19:22You'll need a big pan
19:23That wee lad's going nowhere
19:26Wee lad? I bet you like that, mate
19:27I think I'll always be this wee lad
19:29A toast
19:30To my boys
19:33Merry Christmas
19:35Merry Christmas
19:39Hey
19:41The Poland Express is on later
19:43I thought we could all hunker down and watch it together
19:46Don't confuse the boundaries, Kev
19:48We did this for the lads
19:50Confuse the boundaries?
19:51I'm not throwing my lips on you
19:53He's won, I've lost
19:55I'm over it
19:56Kev
19:57Look, he might be younger than me
19:58He might be better looking than me
19:59Don't, you know what?
20:00I can't call with this
20:01I've got a text card telling me we're coming home
20:03Alfie!
20:05We need to go now, kiddo
20:07Can you hurry up?
20:08I can't find you
20:09He's OK
20:10I can't find you
20:11I can't find him
20:12I can't find him
20:13No, kiddo
20:14Nothing
20:15I can't find him
20:16No, kiddo
20:17Mobile, answer call on speakerphone.
20:37Colin?
20:39Colin, are you there?
20:42Hello.
20:44Bit of a weird concept, isn't it?
20:47Secrets on tap.
20:48Well, it's a bit weird buying vouchers for spa weekends for people you hardly even know.
20:53It's a family tradition.
20:55Do you know what? I actually do need socks.
20:57I said that this morning, didn't I, Adam?
20:59She did.
21:00Your pillow talk is outrageous.
21:04And the next one is for...
21:07Drum roll, please.
21:08Oh.
21:12Ben.
21:13Weehee.
21:18Is it a jigsaw?
21:19Oh, come on. What is it?
21:20Wouldn't you like to know?
21:26To my baby.
21:27Give it to me.
21:28Let him read it.
21:29Ben, give it to me. Please, give it to me.
21:30I said, let him read it.
21:33You bitch.
21:34Let my son read the lovely gift I got him.
21:38What is it?
21:39Oh, just evidence of an affair.
21:41What?
21:42Between Eva and Adam.
21:43Oh.
21:44Oh.
21:45Oh.
21:46Oh.
21:47Oh.
21:48Oh.
21:49Oh.
21:50Oh.
21:51Boy.
21:56Oh, no.
21:57Oh.
22:02Boy.
22:05Sorry.
22:06Why are you so intent on killing our relationship.
22:08Maybe I don't want my son to be with the two-timing tart.
22:12tart. Read it out to the group. Ma. It's a letter to the baby she aborted when she and Ben were
22:19going through a rough patch. Rough patch? He probably gave her a few dirty looks. He went
22:25back to his wife? And you went running back to the groin of his lordship here. I'm sorry. Adam,
22:33my rock. This is true. Your words, not mine. There was no affair. I don't think that Adam's...
22:38Babe, I can explain. Yeah, well, go ahead then. And Adam continued to be her rock when she
22:43aborted their child. Oh, you're not a very nice person, are you? Do you know the worst
22:47of it? It's still going on. Oh, please. No, I'm not having it. It's not because it wasn't
22:52in the first place, babe, I promise. Well, it's got enough all to do with you. Is this
22:56why you two were holding hands earlier? What? No. Are you happy now? Not by a long shot, because
23:02you have broken my son's heart. Whether or not Eva had an abortion is frankly none of
23:07your business. Is it not, frankly? Well, isn't it a woman's right to choose?
23:11What she chose was infidelity. What kind of a mother are you?
23:15Daniel. What, to do this to your own family? And on Christmas Day?
23:18You can take that smirk off your face and all. Mate, I'm not smirking. Nothing happened.
23:22Who do you think you're giving your dirty looks to? You're completely misreading the situation.
23:25Aye. We'll mess for each other. Ben!
23:27Ben!
23:28Oh!
23:35Yeah, don't worry, Betsy. I'm fine. I'm having a really lovely holiday.
23:40Only Roy rang that hotel and you're not staying there.
23:45No, I had to move in the end. I'm staying at a new place now. It's called Rhubarb Hill Hotel.
23:55Rhubarb Hill Hotel? Yeah, yeah. I'm in the busing suite.
24:00Well, I hope you're having a good time. I'm missing you.
24:06James, get dressed and get up. Abby's on her way back.
24:20What?
24:21Just hurry up. Be quiet. I'm calling her.
24:26Hiya, love. Where are you?
24:28I'm just outside the main door.
24:30Wicked. Listen, would you do me a favour? Would you just go to the car and get me charger out of the glove box, please?
24:35I haven't got the keys.
24:37Oh, but I thought you always had them.
24:39Oh, God, you're lazy.
24:41Oh, no, hang on. I'll tell her I've got them here.
24:43Yeah, do you mind? I'm running out of juice.
24:46Yeah, of course I can. Just give us a sec.
24:48Right, well, come on. We need to go and get Cal's charger.
24:53One more move like that and I'm phoning the police.
25:09Why do you hate me so much?
25:11Sit down. This could take some time.
25:14Oi. Have you got anything to say for yourself?
25:16Oh, I've got plenty. And don't you oi me.
25:19Lies. All lies.
25:20I never had an affair with Adam.
25:22The letter says different.
25:24He supported me while...
25:25How can you trust a silly word she says?
25:27Well, I was supporting our baby!
25:29What?
25:36The baby was ours.
25:43What was with that stupid hotel name?
25:46Well, I don't know, do I?
25:48I didn't think on my feet. You had a knife pointing at me.
25:51I don't know why I said rhubarb or whatever.
25:54You're giving me a headache.
25:56Do you talk like this with Lies?
25:58No wonder she's gone off you.
26:00Biggest regret of my life, she said.
26:02Meeting Carla.
26:03The biggest regret of my life is following you here.
26:07You did not.
26:09Because I'd have known.
26:11Don't lie.
26:15Okay.
26:17All right, Costello told me the address.
26:20The rest you do know.
26:22What rest do I know?
26:24That I broke in here.
26:25That you caught me red-handed.
26:29You know, but if I were you...
26:32I wouldn't have left an incriminating burner phone just lying around linking me to a hit on Costello.
26:38You're so boring.
26:41Right.
26:43Well, I can't stand around here chewing the cud all day.
26:45People to see.
26:46People to see.
26:47Wives to bed.
26:49So she's not your wife, is she?
26:52Because you're officially dead.
26:54So that makes her your widow.
26:56Funny you mention dead.
26:57Because Lisa said that sleeping with you was like going to bed with a corpse.
27:14Happy Christmas, Ducky.
27:16Oh.
27:17Oh.
27:18Oh.
27:19Oh.
27:20Oh.
27:21Oh.
27:22Oh.
27:23Oh.
27:24Oh.
27:25Oh.
27:26Oh.
27:27Oh.
27:28Oh.
27:29Oh.
27:30Oh, now that is what I call a beautiful set of conflicts.
27:34Aren't they?
27:35Aren't you lucky?
27:36You.
27:37Yeah.
27:38Oh.
27:39Oh, was it a good service, Billy?
27:40It was.
27:41It was lovely.
27:42Was it all Christmasy?
27:43It was.
27:44It was.
27:45We had carols around the crib and mince pies afterwards.
27:47Oh, mince pies.
27:48You should have gone, George.
27:49I know.
27:50Oh.
27:51Was there, erm, mulled wine?
27:53It's a family service, love.
27:54Not happy hour at the legs of man.
27:58You all right over there, Theo?
27:59Mm.
28:00Oh, sorry.
28:01Oh.
28:02Oh.
28:03Are we out staying our welcome?
28:04Oh, no, no, no, no.
28:05You can tell us.
28:06Well, no, you can tell me.
28:07I mean, I'm very hard to offend.
28:10Unless it's racism, I do take offence at that.
28:13No, no, honestly, of course not.
28:14You're fine.
28:15You've got a worse actor than she is.
28:19Actually, that's bullying, that.
28:21I'm going to torture my union.
28:23National Union of Brace and Barmates.
28:27Speaking of which, shall we, erm,
28:29shall we adjourn to the Rovers?
28:30Yes.
28:31Oh, no, no, no, don't leave on my account.
28:33Well, I think old Tonnington's ready for a lie down, aren't you?
28:36Yeah, you are looking a bit quiet over there, mate.
28:38I think he's had one of the eight.
28:40I'm fine.
28:41That's what they all say.
28:42I'll tell you what, Billy, he'll miss you.
28:44Found out today he's got a thing for old priests.
28:46I have to get myself a dog collar.
28:48Joe was put under your castle.
28:51All right, well, erm...
28:53Yeah, well...
28:54Nice to see you both.
28:55I'll be here briefly.
28:56Come here.
28:57Yeah, sorry about that.
29:01You get your bag and I'll get your coat.
29:02Come here.
29:04Merry Christmas.
29:05And thanks ever so much.
29:09Bye, love. Bye, Summer.
29:11Yeah, get that down.
29:12All right.
29:14Bye.
29:15You know full well when we were going through a rough patch.
29:17And you know full well why we were.
29:18Don't put that on me.
29:19So this abortion's on me, is it?
29:21The only thing that I regret about that termination is not telling you.
29:26But babe, how could I?
29:27How could I bring the baby into that?
29:29You weren't even taking my calls.
29:30You were living back with the dragon.
29:32Don't call her that.
29:33And whenever we did talk to each other, we were just taking shots.
29:36And yet you still got pregnant by me.
29:39Allegedly.
29:41Don't you dare.
29:43Sorry.
29:45I was in no fit state to bring a baby and Susie up on my own.
29:49Now, if I'd have thought for one second that we were going to get back together,
29:52I would have told you.
29:55So where does Adam fit into all of this?
29:56He doesn't.
29:57Not really.
29:58Except the fact that he was a supportive friend.
30:00He was meeting a client in Hull.
30:02I bumped into him at the Paragon interchange.
30:04He was getting the train.
30:05I was getting the bus.
30:06Kismet.
30:10Just to let you know, your pub is open.
30:13Oh.
30:14Oh, it's my pub when it suits you.
30:16Well, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt you to put a shift in Maggie.
30:18Get your hands as dirty as your tongue.
30:20Are you going to let her speak to me like that?
30:26Very exciting to be summoned here.
30:28Like this.
30:29It's very nice.
30:30Quite palatial.
30:33Mind you, you must be earning a bob or two now, aren't you?
30:36So you've actually spoken to Carla?
30:39Not me.
30:40That's...
30:41Oh.
30:42Yeah.
30:43So, er...
30:44How is she?
30:45What does she say?
30:46Erm...
30:47She said she was at a hotel.
30:48I can't believe Betts actually spoke to her.
30:50It's reassuring, though.
30:52Is it?
30:53I want to be.
30:54Well, doesn't it just confirm what you've been worrying about all along?
30:59That she's ignoring you blatantly.
31:02See.
31:04I'll make a very good barrister, I will, because I've got a very incisive mind.
31:07And also, I'll look great in the wig and the...
31:11Oh, I see.
31:13My glass appears to be almost entirely empty.
31:16It's a box.
31:17Hmm.
31:18It's warm, though, isn't it, in here?
31:19It's probably evaporating.
31:21Hi.
31:23Hi, Bonnie.
31:24I'm home.
31:25Oh.
31:26We have company.
31:28Merry Christmas, stranger.
31:30Is that the sister?
31:31Hello.
31:33This is Roy's friend, Evelyn.
31:35Hi, I'm Kim.
31:37I, er... I spoke to Carla.
31:39Brilliant, finally.
31:40Er... How was she?
31:42It's hard to tell, really.
31:44Erm...
31:45What are you doing?
31:47I'm ringing her.
31:48Oh, please.
31:50What?
31:52Like, she's going to answer?
31:55Don't you think you should just face facts, love?
31:58And what's that?
32:00You know, maybe...
32:02Maybe?
32:04Maybe.
32:05She's just not cut out to be a lesbian.
32:08No, a lot of people aren't.
32:11No, I wasn't.
32:15Sorry to send you on a wild goose chase.
32:17I honestly thought my charger was in the car.
32:19Forget me old head if it wasn't screwed on.
32:21So, what have you been up to then while me and Kev have been pretending to play up with families?
32:25Oh, just...
32:27Watching paint dry.
32:28Hmm.
32:29Well, sounds like me and you have had very similar days.
32:33Shall we, erm...
32:35Shall we make up for it now?
32:36Not exactly what you're thinking of.
32:38Well, come to the bedroom and I'll show you.
32:41What's that aftershave you're wearing? It smells different.
32:51Must be that old shower gel I used earlier.
32:54What's this?
32:57It's nice, isn't it?
32:58Erm, I found it down the side of the couch.
33:00Must be the previous tenants.
33:02Now, where were we?
33:06En route to the bedroom.
33:09On a one way ticket to paradise.
33:19I often wonder if you're a statue.
33:21Because you've got one hell of a brass neck on you.
33:24That secret Santa stunt was evil.
33:27I am a grandchild down because of you.
33:30Are you not going to defend me here, Ben?
33:31Why should I?
33:33She's right, it was evil.
33:35I'm not bothered.
33:37Huh.
33:39Put that drink down, Ma.
33:41And get her to my house now.
33:43I beg your pardon.
33:44I want you gone.
33:46Are you going to side with that little tart over me?
33:51Right first time.
33:56Is poor, beautiful face.
34:10What do you need him?
34:12Wasn't me.
34:14When a man gets hit like that,
34:16usually over a woman.
34:18Maybe someone's got the hots for Elia.
34:20Who doesn't have the hots for Elia?
34:22Did I just say that out loud?
34:25Yes, George.
34:27Keep it down.
34:28People might think we're swingers.
34:29Oh, like these two.
34:31Behave yourself Mary's if we're swingers.
34:33I'll know what you're doing later.
34:37Gonna have a nice shiner, thanks to you.
34:38You had no right.
34:40Oh, shut up.
34:42No, he's right.
34:44Adam, I'm sorry.
34:46I shouldn't have reacted the way I did.
34:47I've just spoken with the weaver.
34:48She's explained everything.
34:50No.
34:52Except my apology.
34:55Well, this won't be a Christmas that we forget anytime, see?
34:58You've got a lot to save yourself.
35:01Eh?
35:02Sorry.
35:04And Elia, you've got to believe Adam, none of it's true.
35:07Oh, I never believed a word.
35:09But you want to have a word with your mother.
35:11Is she calmed down?
35:13She's packing her bags.
35:15Vaster to leave.
35:17Any sign of Megan?
35:19She's gone home.
35:20She don't feel well.
35:22She wanted me to tell you, but whoops, I forgot.
35:25Right.
35:28Listen.
35:29I know that you've got the hots for your teacher, you little git.
35:33But how about you leave her for the grown-ups, eh?
35:34There's a good life.
35:35Right.
35:36Thanks very much for a memorable day.
35:40Shall we go next door?
35:45Hey.
35:46I always wondered why you were so weird.
35:48But now that I've seen what your granny's capable of, it's all slipping into place.
36:05David!
36:07David!
36:09Where have you been?
36:13Er, Manners, Will.
36:15Been helping Lauren with Frankie so she could work.
36:17Daniel's already gone, he said to say to her and that.
36:21Er, you need to be careful.
36:23Do I?
36:25Yes, Will, you do.
36:27You were so vile to Daniel today.
36:29Classic.
36:30I defend him, why don't you?
36:32You gonna give the game away at this rate?
36:33In the state of him.
36:35You know, he had his hands all over my woman.
36:38You're drunk.
36:40What's he gonna be like on your little weekend away?
36:43Oh, do you know what?
36:45I can't be doing with you when you're like this.
36:54Weird.
36:56I'm sorry, what is that?
36:58It's a stimulator.
36:59Your own mother has got you a...
37:00a vagus nerve stimulator.
37:02But, David, it's not in front of Lily.
37:03No, no, it's totally sleep.
37:05Shut up!
37:06No, that's what it is.
37:07It's an actual sleep aid.
37:08What?
37:09Granny Gail's texted.
37:10She said she's sent us all a video.
37:11Oh, get it up, get it up.
37:13She'll be in our way for Andy's hair and uncle.
37:15Well, she's put it on plot chart, hasn't it?
37:16She can see it on there.
37:17Aw, I can't believe she's sent a video.
37:19It's me.
37:23I speak to you today on what is, of course,
37:27our first wedding anniversary.
37:28One of the longest marriages, this.
37:30Thank you, David, for my extra-large jar of olives.
37:38Very funny.
37:40I hope you've all been having the most wonderful day.
37:44And, of course, David, happy birthday.
37:49Happy birthday.
37:50How can it be 35 years since I first held you in my arms?
37:58I hope by now you've unwrapped your sleep aid.
38:02I just wanted to say that, though I may be far away,
38:09you're all very much in my thoughts.
38:14And David and Shona, you and your baby are utmost in my heart.
38:23Life is never easy.
38:24Life is never easy.
38:29Life is never straightforward.
38:33But we're a strong, resilient family.
38:38And we can weather any storm.
38:41I love you all very much.
38:44I love you all very much.
38:47So till the next time we speak,
38:50as the famous carol says,
38:53the hopes and fears of all the years
39:02are met in thee tonight.
39:10I wish you all a very happy Christmas.
39:17Happy Christmas.
39:19Aw, that was nice.
39:23I just want to say thank you.
39:28What for?
39:32I love you for.
39:34And just being so nice and patient today.
39:39It's our first Christmas, innit?
39:43Wanting to be special.
39:45In that case, thank you, too.
39:48For what?
39:50For being you.
39:52Your authentic self.
39:55Can't be easy.
39:58You know, with your various issues.
40:02I'm...
40:04Unless you were being sarcastic.
40:06I wasn't.
40:09Stand up.
40:13You sure you weren't being sarcastic?
40:15Yeah.
40:21You sure?
40:22You sure?
40:27Merry Christmas, daughter.
40:28And every mother child is not a spy.
40:31To see a breakthrough.
40:33With a dove on the floor.
40:35The love of a son is not a slave.
40:39And every mother child is not a spy.
40:43To see a breakthrough.
40:45With a dove on the floor.
40:46Isn't that, um, Oujimaflip?
40:59Maggie, yes.
40:59From the pub?
41:00Correct, yes.
41:01Well, introduce me.
41:02I've never met her, and, you know, if we pull up, I'm thinking free drinks.
41:05Oh.
41:06Hello.
41:07Hello.
41:07Oh, I say, what a beautiful coat.
41:11I love that color.
41:13Merry Christmas, Maggie.
41:14I don't know if you met my dear friend, Evelyn Plummer.
41:19Merry Christmas to you, and may 2026 bring you everything you wish yourself and more.
41:26Are you off traveling?
41:29Oh.
41:29Are you all right, Maggie?
41:31No.
41:31Any idiot can see she's not all right.
41:33She's in pieces.
41:34Oh.
41:35Let's just say, I've fallen out with Ben.
41:39Oh, dear.
41:40Who's Ben?
41:42My son.
41:42Well, maybe it's just bad karma, you know, because you shut the pub on Christmas Day.
41:50We were having a family meal, but everything went awry.
41:56Well, if there's anything I could do.
42:00Do you know any decent hotels around here?
42:02Well, I could drive you over to Chariot Square, if you like.
42:08Good thinking, Batman.
42:10And could you call ahead when we're en route?
42:14My phone is running out of juice.
42:16Just tell them, one night, one person with breakfast, and try and get a free upgrade to a suite.
42:23Um, I'm rather sorry we came over in the first place.
42:35And relax.
42:42My lady.
42:44Quite good, sir.
42:46I'm sorry.
42:51Isn't that my line?
42:53I should have been there for you.
42:56We got there eventually, didn't we?
42:59I'll never let you down again.
43:01I'm sorry.
43:02I'm sorry.
43:02I'm sorry.
43:06I'm sorry.
43:06I'm sorry.
43:08I'll never let you down.
43:12I'll turn my face away.
43:16I'll dream the best.
43:20I'll never let you down.
43:22I'll never let you down.
43:25I'm sorry.
43:27into one
43:29I've got a
43:31guitar solo
44:01I've got a
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