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Short filmTranscript
00:00Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:02So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:04These simple lines be good for your health
00:06Keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
00:08Live love life like you just don't care
00:10Live love life like you just don't care
00:12I believe it's never scared
00:14Rain and noise is the moment they fear
00:16Get up, you still appear from my dead
00:18Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:20Get up, it's shit in the air
00:22Get up, get up, get up, get up
00:26Get up, get up, get up, get up
00:28Finish wrapping the presents, sit back on the couch
00:36Then realise you forgot to buy batteries
00:38It's Christmas Eve and it's time for the last leg
00:42Tonight on the show
00:44We look at a prediction of Christmas future
00:46Look back on Christmas past
00:48And take a sneaky look at our Christmas present
00:52Plus we'll be joined by presenter Alison Hammond
00:54Comedian Harry Hill and music legend Rick Astley
00:56On the show that's always a Christmas die-hard
01:08G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:10Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that wonders
01:12If King Charles' speech is going to get one less viewer this year
01:14With me as always of the pride of Huddersfield, Alex Brooker
01:16And the man who turned on the Christmas lights in Exeter this year
01:20But only in his own house, Josh Whittacombe
01:22Happy Christmas Eve everybody
01:24Every year we dress up there's something ridiculous for Christmas
01:26I of course am Tom Hanks from the Polar Express
01:28There you go
01:30Thank you
01:32Yeah, it's not bad
01:42Yeah, you're such a fan of the film
01:44That you've called the character Tom Hanks
01:48You look like you're about to strip
01:52That is a different type of Polar Express
01:58I went with Polar Express because it's my favourite Tom Hanks film
02:03Yeah
02:04Actually it's my second favourite but Philadelphia didn't feel appropriate
02:08Josh
02:09Merry Christmas
02:10Josh would you like to explain who you're dressed as?
02:13Oh, I didn't get the memo, I didn't know it was fancy dress
02:16No, I've come as, I'll stand up for this
02:21I've come as Francis Rossi from the Band Aid video
02:25Amazing
02:29I'm not saying I've run out of ideas
02:32But I look like Michael Portillo
02:36You look like someone who's been caught at Heathrow trying to smuggle in illegal reptiles
02:41Well, I've certainly got a snake in these tight trousers
02:50Alex, do you want to explain what's going on there?
02:52Yeah, I'm Tim Allen in the Santa Claus
02:54Santa's just fallen off my roof and I've just put the jacket on
02:57So, yeah, and also I'll tell you what
02:59It's comfy in it, I'll tell you what
03:01Your snake will be alright in these pyjama bottoms, mate, honestly
03:04This is the comfiest I've ever been
03:06I'm not going to say you've not gone to much effort
03:08But compared to the two of us
03:09Wearing literally slippers, pyjamas and just you've put on a Santa
03:13Yeah, I know
03:14I think these are comfy slippers
03:16I can only feel the one
03:18But I think...
03:21Alright, the big story of course is Christmas
03:25It's the story Alex has been most excited about all year
03:28So let's start with this
03:29Is it okay that Alex interrupted a last leg meeting this year to have his Christmas tree delivered?
03:35Okay, is it okay he did that in October?
03:42Well here's another is it okay for you
03:44Is it okay that it's a 13-foot tree?
03:47That is... I know, that's 12 more feet than Alex has
03:50Let's see... here's a photo of it arriving
03:57Just so you know, Alex took the tree out
03:59And then once that was done, Alex's wife put all her belongings in there and there
04:06Here's the photo of the tree once it was up and running
04:09Dude, it's so...
04:11Fucking hell!
04:12It looks like, you know those North Korean marches where they have the missiles?
04:17Honestly, it's so big that's an actual star on top of it
04:22Is it a real tree? It's not a real tree
04:24Oh no, no, no, no
04:25No, so even your Christmas tree is prosthetic
04:27Look, knowing how much you love Christmas, I would imagine the ads you get on your phone are different to the ads I get on my phone
04:41Oh mate, I mean the algorithm on Instagram
04:44I start getting loads of these like Christmas, like Larry Christmas suits and outfits
04:49Right
04:50Maybe because I was talking about Christmas jumpers
04:52That's all my algorithm is just Christmas suits
04:54Yeah, we've got some of the garish images Alex has been getting
04:56Check these out
04:57The thing with it is, you two complain a lot, you know, about your disabilities
05:02But that guy in the suit, he hasn't got a head
05:07It looks like...
05:09I'd say that's far...
05:11At the Paralympics, you're in the toughest category
05:15Especially if it's a dead heat in the sprinting
05:21The suit, I love the suit, it looks like the kind of suit Santa would wear to court
05:25You know what I mean? Like if Santa turned up in the Epstein files
05:31Oh no, Santa's not, obviously Santa's not in the Epstein files
05:35Obviously, because we all know Santa makes the list and checks it twice
05:38I reckon, pausing for an edit
05:50I think nothing says Christmas Eve more than Philadelphia and the Epstein files
05:55I reckon if you can encapsulate Alex's algorithm into one image, it would be this
06:00Declan Rice dressed as Santa drinking a Frosé with Big John
06:06That is... That's Alex's...
06:09I'm assuming that's your default setting when you blank out during an Easter
06:13Is it true you want a dash cam for Christmas?
06:15Yeah, I do, I genuinely do
06:18I've got banged into dash cam footage
06:21That's the other thing my algorithm is jumping up
06:23What do you mean?
06:24So like, I've got really into like, watching these videos
06:27Of like, just people having near misses
06:29But the one I've been getting into most
06:31Is a geezer called Big Jobber
06:33Who basically... What? What? What?
06:34His name's Big Jobber
06:35And basically what he does is...
06:36I'm going to say it, Hillsy
06:37When Brooker searched Big Jobber
06:38He wasn't looking for a dash cam footage
06:43He assesses like, the insurance library
06:47Who's at fault for the crash
06:49Based on the dash cam footage
06:51Are you okay?
06:53I think I'm having like, the most boring midlife crisis of all time
06:57But yeah, I really want a dash cam
06:59We've got a very special treat for Alex tonight
07:01So we've been following Santa on his radar tonight
07:04Oh, okay
07:05So, we're going to check in to see where he is right now
07:06Have a look at this on the map
07:08He...
07:09Now, that seems to be Huddersfield
07:11Which is where you live, Alex
07:12Yeah
07:13He seems to be stuck there
07:15Let's go to Santa's dash cam
07:16Or as he calls it, dasher cam
07:19To see what's happening
07:25What arsehole put up a 12 foot 3?
07:28I hope they don't breathalise me
07:30I've had 83 million cherries
07:31Here's your froze machine, you prick
07:32Now, one AI generator reimagined Santa over the decades
07:45Showing how, and this is a quote
07:46Beloved figures can evolve alongside society's progress
07:50Here is its revealing timeline of Santas
07:53Let's go through them one by one
07:54Here's 1960 Santa
07:55Textbook
07:56Classic
07:57Classic Santa
07:58Coca-Cola Santa
07:59No issue with that
08:00Yep
08:011970s Santa
08:02Ooh
08:04I've...
08:05I'm not letting my kids sit on his knee
08:07Let's look at 1980s Santa
08:11Wow
08:12He's been lifting his sack at eight
08:15It's no wonder mummy was kissing Santa Claus
08:17Look at that guy
08:18I mean, that'll leave her Saint Nicholas
08:20LAUGHTER
08:21LAUGHTER
08:22LAUGHTER
08:23LAUGHTER
08:24All right
08:25Let's go...
08:26LAUGHTER
08:27Did somebody just go, oh dear
08:29LAUGHTER
08:30LAUGHTER
08:31LAUGHTER
08:33I... I... I...
08:34I enjoyed it
08:35Oh dear
08:37That from me
08:38Do you know what?
08:39I'm not... It's gonna... It's ruined Christmas
08:41LAUGHTER
08:42And that's a guy who was fine with the Epstein joke
08:44LAUGHTER
08:46Er... 2010s Santa?
08:48Couldn't give a shit, could I?
08:49LAUGHTER
08:50No, no, no
08:51LAUGHTER
08:522030s...
08:53Well, I tell you what, JK Rowling's not gonna be happy from 2030s
08:56LAUGHTER
08:57LAUGHTER
08:59LAUGHTER
09:00Oh dear
09:02LAUGHTER
09:03LAUGHTER
09:04LAUGHTER
09:05Look, there's one in the audience!
09:06LAUGHTER
09:07How did that happen?
09:09APPLAUSE
09:11Mate!
09:14It's the one fucking night you were!
09:16LAUGHTER
09:17LAUGHTER
09:18I'm not so sure about 2050s Santa.
09:21I mean, no...
09:22I mean, he looks like he's gonna shoot the Naughty Boys again.
09:24LAUGHTER
09:25And look, as Santa faces an AI future, so does the art of gift-giving,
09:29because surveys have found that a lot of people are using
09:31generative AI for present ideas.
09:33I love the idea that tomorrow there's gonna be men everywhere
09:37blaming AI for misjudged gifts for their other halves.
09:40It's just going...
09:41Yeah, I...
09:42I mean...
09:43Jack GPT just said anal beads, I don't even know what...
09:45LAUGHTER
09:46LAUGHTER
09:47Like, the technology's just not...
09:49It's just not right.
09:50By the way, love, do us a favour, can you quickly ring your mum
09:52and tell her not to open us?
09:53LAUGHTER
09:54LAUGHTER
09:55So, we've decided to use AI tonight to choose our presents for each other.
10:02And to deliver them, would you please welcome, all the way from the future,
10:05Robot Santa!
10:07LAUGHTER
10:08MUSIC
10:10MUSIC
10:11MUSIC
10:12MUSIC
10:13MUSIC
10:14MUSIC
10:15MUSIC
10:16MUSIC
10:37MUSIC
10:42Can the robot do the Vs towards Alex?
10:44LAUGHTER
10:46LAUGHTER
10:47All right, so, we started by asking AI the question,
10:50what is a good Christmas present for Alex Brooker?
10:52Now, once we explained who Alex Brooker was...
10:55LAUGHTER
10:57LAUGHTER
10:59It suggested a personalized Arsenal Jersey. Yes, please. Could you please bring the presents over?
11:08Did you know what? Yeah, RADA is fucking good, isn't it?
11:20Four years of death for this
11:22Thank you very much. I think that's yours. It's good to have Daniel Day-Lewis back in the game, isn't it?
11:30Oh, wow. Unbelievable. No, back a bit, Rob. There we go. Oh, there we go. Thank you. Thank you, Robot Santa.
11:41They said, do you know what? When they said Greg Wallace would never be back on TV.
11:46APPLAUSE
11:48So, I started out by asking AI what to get for Alex. Yes. And it said, a personalized Arsenal Jersey. Am I allowed to open it?
12:03You are allowed to open it. Oh, wow. So, we've got you an Arsenal Jersey, and on the back, we've got the picture of you, uh, with Declan Rice, and Big John drinking the Frosé.
12:13Oh, yes, please. Merry Christmas.
12:15I love this robot. He did a little, he did a little happy dance when it was good.
12:22So, when, when I asked...
12:24LAUGHTER
12:26How is the robot funnier than all of us?
12:29This is the future, Josh.
12:30LAUGHTER
12:31So, when I asked AI what to get Josh, it said, uh, something that balances his sober lifestyle, his love of home, his writing work, and his comedic vibe.
12:42Oh, that's genuinely nice. It said, a premium tea gift set and notebook, uh, combo with a personal note.
12:50So, it's, an AI wrote the note. This is a personal note.
12:53Oh, for when you fancy putting the kettle on. I genuinely like this.
12:57For when you fancy putting the kettle on and jamming down those five-minute observations.
13:02LAUGHTER
13:03This is the great thing. It also added, uh, Josh is an observational comedian who focuses on the minutiae of everyday life rather than big topical issues.
13:13LAUGHTER
13:15I think anyone who's seen me trying to walk around the news on this show would agree with that.
13:19LAUGHTER
13:20And so, what did, what did AI suggest for me?
13:23Ah, well, AI, they got, so, basically, they said, something that was tied to your interest in disability awareness and sport, but more importantly, a high-quality item that acknowledges that part of his life, but not in a pitying way.
13:35They wanted us to give you something empowering.
13:37Not in a pitying way? No, so we didn't want to get you any sort of, any sort of present that would kind of sound, um, pitying at all.
13:44OK.
13:45So, we've got you, uh, a book. You have got me a book.
13:48Which is called, um, The Little Disabled Engine That Could.
13:52LAUGHTER
13:57Thank you so much, boys. I can add that to my collection, along with C-Spot Limp.
14:01LAUGHTER
14:03Oh, the places you'll park.
14:05And can we also have a big thank you to Robot Santa!
14:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:14Uh, now, Christmas telly is also changing.
14:17There's a reality series on Hallmark this year called Finding Mr. Christmas.
14:21Uh, the TV show focuses on ten aspiring actors who compete for the chance to be the next leading man in a Hallmark Christmas film.
14:29Here is the cheesy trailer for the wholesome reality series.
14:33Boy, do I have an early holiday gift for you.
14:36We are back for season two with an all-new group of hunks and festive face-offs.
14:40Check out this sneak peek.
14:41It's a huge house. I'm down to stay here for a while.
14:44What's up, guys?
14:45What's up, fellas?
14:46What's up, Angel?
14:48Dude, it's so epic.
14:50Dude, we've got the trust circle going on already.
14:54LAUGHTER
14:55I don't trust that trust circle.
14:58LAUGHTER
14:59When we're finding Mr. Easter, it's a bit bleaker because the winner gets nailed to a cross.
15:04LAUGHTER
15:10Now...
15:12..throughout the show...
15:15LAUGHTER
15:17Sorry, it's the latest photo-edgy for you.
15:19Honestly, it's just everything you say with that ponytail.
15:22LAUGHTER
15:23Now, throughout the show, this Finding Mr Christmas...
15:27Did you just get a cut away with my fucking pony?
15:30LAUGHTER
15:32We've never used that camera angle in 15 years!
15:35LAUGHTER
15:36That's not one of our angles!
15:38LAUGHTER
15:39Where's that?
15:40I don't even know where that camera is!
15:42LAUGHTER
15:43Throughout Finding Mr Christmas, the actors have to complete a series of challenges,
15:47including gift wrapping, untangling Christmas lights and acting in a scene.
15:51But, we think they missed a trick.
15:53Because we've got our own Mr Christmas here, Alex Brooker.
15:56I don't know why they didn't cast him, right?
15:58100%, mate.
16:00So, throughout the show tonight, we're going to set Alex a series of Christmassy tasks
16:03and he's going to do the first one now.
16:05We need you to head over there, please, Alex.
16:07I didn't know why.
16:08Are you ready?
16:09APPLAUSE
16:13It's based on this festive challenge.
16:16LAUGHTER
16:18Remember, guys, presentation is important, but your personality and star quality
16:23are always on Santa's radar.
16:26So, give us your best runway walks and slay!
16:30Yeah!
16:32Link, you're up first.
16:34Ooh!
16:36Ooh!
16:37OK!
16:39OK, hello!
16:41Melissa, I don't want you to get too close to this fire.
16:43Sugar melts.
16:44Oh!
16:47Wow!
16:52So, it's time for Alex to take on the Mr Christmas catwalk challenge.
16:57Alex, I want some strut with a Goodwill to All Men vibe.
17:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:03LAUGHTER
17:06Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
17:17Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
17:19Uh, genuinely, by the way, don't get too close to me because I think this is flammable as fuck.
17:24LAUGHTER
17:26Alex, you're through to the next round.
17:28Yeah!
17:34All right, let's welcome tonight's guests.
17:36They're Bake Off royalty, which means much like real royalty,
17:39they're both in bread.
17:40Please welcome Alison Hammond and comedian Harry Hill.
17:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:45I don't believe it, Francis Rossi and Tim Allen.
18:06And Bernard Cribbins from the Railway Church.
18:11I thought it.
18:12Now, Alison has already received the best gift of all a few weeks ago
18:17when Prince Harry lip-synced to one of your exchanges from Bake Off.
18:22I thought I was dreaming when I saw that.
18:23So here's the perfectly timed clip with Stephen Colbert.
18:27If you was treated like a king for the day,
18:29what would you want me to do for you?
18:31Um, back for me, probably.
18:33You'd want me to do what?
18:35Beg.
18:36Beg.
18:38Beg.
18:38Beg.
18:39B-A-K.
18:40Beg.
18:41Beg.
18:42Oh, bake!
18:43Oh, bake!
18:43Oh, bake!
18:44LAUGHTER
18:45APPLAUSE
18:46What a weird moment.
18:51Crazy.
18:52I mean, it sounds like, oh, my God!
18:54Prince Harry, me and Prince Harry are connected now.
18:57You totally like that.
18:58You know what I mean? We're tied.
18:59Yeah.
18:59I mean, how can I be humble now?
19:01Do you know what I mean?
19:01LAUGHTER
19:02Does it make me kind of like royalty now?
19:05Like, am I a princess?
19:07Am I?
19:07Yeah, but it does appear that Prince Harry has got a lot of time on his hands now.
19:11LAUGHTER
19:12APPLAUSE
19:13Do you reckon?
19:17APPLAUSE
19:18LAUGHTER
19:19LAUGHTER
19:20LAUGHTER
19:21LAUGHTER
19:22Um, Harry, what are your Christmas traditions?
19:24Um, well, we always, what we do with the TV, when we have the Christmas lunch, and then we have, we've got one of those TVs that you can bring around, you know, it comes, you can angle it round.
19:37It's on the wall, but you can angle it round.
19:39Yep.
19:40And so we bring it round, so that it's across the other side of the table, and then we have the king's speech on there, so it's like he's joining us.
19:47LAUGHTER
19:48LAUGHTER
19:50What's that?
19:52Yeah.
19:53Yeah, it has been a tough year for a lot of people.
19:55LAUGHTER
19:58And look, we talked about Alex's 13-foot tree in his garden.
20:01Anything special in your garden this Christmas?
20:03Oh, er, well, we've got robins, actually, nesting.
20:06Ooh!
20:07Aw!
20:08I know, we put up a nesting box last year.
20:11Yeah.
20:12And we've got some, actually, some baby robins in there now.
20:15Aw!
20:16Yeah, and I've actually got a camera.
20:17You know one of those little tiny cameras?
20:19Oh, yeah, yeah.
20:20Yeah.
20:21It's got a bird watch.
20:22Yeah, with like a live feed.
20:23Yeah.
20:24Could we see that, or...?
20:25We have got it.
20:26Yes, yes, we can.
20:27Yes, we can.
20:28Let's see the live feed of your...
20:29There's a little robin in there this morning.
20:30Oh, that's so lovely!
20:31But, erm...
20:32LAUGHTER
20:38Oh, that's really upsetting.
20:45Yeah.
20:46Talk about a live feed.
20:48Me!
20:49LAUGHTER
20:50All right, we'll have more last week for you after the break
20:53as we chat to Rick Astley and find out which one of our guests
20:56had a crush on him as a teenager.
20:58See you in a little bit!
20:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:01Welcome back to Last Leg.
21:19We're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill.
21:22Uh, Alex is starting to change like Tim Allen in, er...
21:27I'm not.
21:28Are you not?
21:29Are you not?
21:30No, I'm alright, mate.
21:31I don't think that's how you looked in the last part.
21:33That's absolutely the same, mate.
21:35OK.
21:36All right, Josh, do you want to explain what's going on with you?
21:39I'm going through the Band-Aid video.
21:41LAUGHTER
21:42I, er...
21:43I didn't know Hanson were in Band-Aid.
21:45LAUGHTER
21:46Handsome?
21:47LAUGHTER
21:48I can't hear much, by the way.
21:50LAUGHTER
21:51I'm Sting from Band-Aid.
21:53Look at that.
21:54LAUGHTER
21:55Amazing.
21:56Bang on.
21:57I can't hear anything.
21:58LAUGHTER
21:59I'm getting Gail Tilsley off...
22:01LAUGHTER
22:02LAUGHTER
22:03Anyone else doing that?
22:05APPLAUSE
22:06I'm getting...
22:07I'm getting Gail Tilsley and Paul Hollywood.
22:10LAUGHTER
22:12And obviously I'm now Tom Hanks as Woody from Toy Story.
22:16Oh, yes.
22:17Oh, yeah.
22:18Because the final scene of Toy Story is when they all become friends at Christmas.
22:21Yes.
22:22Time now to welcome another guest to the Last League Christmas celebration.
22:25He's a soul singer whose songs may be the one thing your family doesn't fight over this Christmas.
22:29Please welcome...
22:30Rick Astley!
22:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:33APPLAUSE
22:34Welcome to the party, Rick.
22:35What are your Christmas traditions?
22:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:54Welcome to the party, Rick. What are your Christmas traditions?
22:57Eating and drinking, I think, pretty much.
23:00Yes!
23:01My wife is Danish and we have quite a lot of Scandinavian tradition
23:04in our Christmas. Bacon?
23:06Yeah, a lot of bacon, actually.
23:08Yeah, yeah.
23:09But also, they celebrate on the eve, on the 24th.
23:13Yes.
23:14So we've got into that habit over the years of doing that.
23:16Well, I'm very sorry that you're here tonight on Christmas Eve.
23:19I know. Well, exactly.
23:21Exactly. I'm straight back there after this.
23:24If there's anything left, I'll be, you know, lovely.
23:29No, so, to be honest, tomorrow is a bit like our Boxing Day,
23:32to be honest. Right.
23:33A bit more chill and, you know, so, yeah.
23:35Yeah.
23:36Now, we asked AI to suggest a present for you.
23:38I can't wait.
23:39OK.
23:41It said maybe a rare vinyl copy of something like The Smiths.
23:44Yeah.
23:45Because you did a show of Smith songs at Glastonbury.
23:47Indeed I did.
23:48I saw it.
23:49Which, yeah, you saw it and one of our team was there
23:51and captured the joy Josh felt as he watched you perform.
23:54This is genuine footage.
23:56Back on the streets of Birmingham
24:00I wander to myself
24:03When I barely say again
24:07When each side streets of the ship down
24:11I wander to myself
24:14What a nice...
24:16One of the best hours of my life.
24:20And watching that video, this is going to blow your mind.
24:23That was after I stopped drinking.
24:25LAUGHTER
24:26Right.
24:28Harry, you share Rick's love of Morrissey's music.
24:31His music?
24:32Yeah, not so much his music.
24:34LAUGHTER
24:36Don't talk about that, do we?
24:41You performed as Morrissey?
24:42I was...
24:43I did Morrissey in Stars in their arms.
24:45I remember it.
24:46We have a dazzling clip of the enthusiastic performance
24:48from the turn of the millennium.
24:51Morrissey!
24:53APPLAUSE
24:54APPLAUSE
25:03Punctured bicycle
25:05By a dancer
25:08Won't let you make a man of me yet
25:14Playing this charming car
25:18In this charming heart
25:20This charm
25:22He's come up on.
25:24Oh, very good.
25:27So good.
25:28Have you ever met Morrissey?
25:30I haven't met Morrissey, but part of it was you had to get permission.
25:33So I had to get permission from Morrissey to impersonate him.
25:36There was a...
25:38Or to do that song.
25:39And I got a fax through in the old days of faxes.
25:42And it was signed by Morrissey saying,
25:45Good luck, Morrissey.
25:47And so I thought, oh, so Morrissey's on the other end of this number.
25:50The number is there.
25:51I thought, well, I'll...
25:52And I had this idea, so I sent him a fax back saying,
25:56How about you and me do a novelty single for Christmas,
26:00our version of Little Donkey.
26:02Wow.
26:03But I never...
26:04Never heard back.
26:07I mean, you've got your own quiff.
26:09I have.
26:09I have to wear an artificial one.
26:11But if you like, I could...
26:13Would you like me to reprise that?
26:15Yes.
26:15Yes.
26:16Yeah, yeah.
26:16Have you got them...
26:17Yes.
26:17I don't know if...
26:18I'm not feeling it.
26:18Come on!
26:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:21What a showman.
26:27He knows how to get the crowd going.
26:30Here we go.
26:31Here we go.
26:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:33Oh.
26:34Yeah.
26:35Lovely.
26:36It's uncanny.
26:38LAUGHTER
26:39Little donkey, little donkey, little donkey, on a dusty road.
26:46LAUGHTER
26:47Going to keep on flooding onwards with your hair.
26:52LAUGHTER
26:52APPLAUSE
26:53Oh, mercy, everyone.
27:02Oh, mercy.
27:03Merry Christmas.
27:06So good.
27:07Alison, is it true you had a teenage crush on Rick?
27:10LAUGHTER
27:10Well, it's not the sort of place I would, like, probably admit it.
27:14With Rick literally sitting there.
27:16He already knows.
27:17We've met quite a few times and now I'm quite cool with it.
27:20Like, I'm all right.
27:21Yeah, I'm totally cool with, like, being in the...
27:24As long as Harry's sat between us.
27:25Oh, yeah, exactly.
27:25LAUGHTER
27:26So, Alison, just to clarify your story, you used to fancy Rick Astley.
27:31No, it's not more.
27:32Then you met him and now it's gone away.
27:34LAUGHTER
27:35Not at all, Josh.
27:37Obviously, I've still got feelings, but there is, like, you know...
27:40Have you?
27:40LAUGHTER
27:41Do you want to expand on that?
27:42LAUGHTER
27:43Listen, I'm not saying there's a chance...
27:45There's a wife.
27:46There's a wife.
27:47I just...
27:48I feel like I'm with...
27:50Come on, Harry.
27:51Come on, Harry.
27:52Come on, Harry.
27:53Come on, Harry, go there.
27:54Obviously.
27:55Oh, no!
27:56I don't know when I'm not around to it.
27:57LAUGHTER
27:58LAUGHTER
28:02Obviously, I was a lot younger than I am now and, obviously,
28:09I still get the same feelings.
28:11LAUGHTER
28:12I'm going to say it.
28:13There's a chance you're going to be Rick Rolled.
28:15LAUGHTER
28:17Come back, Harry!
28:19Come back, Harry!
28:21Harry!
28:22Alison, on the very night that his wife is celebrating Christmas.
28:26LAUGHTER
28:28Well, she's not here, is she?
28:29Yes, sir.
28:30LAUGHTER
28:31Just out of interest, Rick, where can Alison see you perform next year?
28:37Yeah!
28:38LAUGHTER
28:39Um, here, there and everywhere.
28:41We're on tour in April, which...
28:43Are we?
28:44Yes, we're all on tour.
28:45LAUGHTER
28:46Short notice.
28:48LAUGHTER
28:49So, um...
28:50We can't wait.
28:51We can't wait.
28:52We're looking forward to it.
28:53And now, Harry, you and Alison both host different versions of Bake Off,
28:56but you have brought your own showstopper to the show tonight.
28:59LAUGHTER
29:00Yeah, I've got to go back there again.
29:02Go on.
29:03LAUGHTER
29:04Well, I just think, you know, people forget what Christmas is really about.
29:09Yeah.
29:10And what they concentrate on is the food.
29:12You know, it's all about the food.
29:14Mm.
29:15What I've done is I've done a, um, my own...
29:18..savoury...
29:19..nativity.
29:20Um...
29:21LAUGHTER
29:22Frazzles!
29:23Which I've...
29:24Which I've made.
29:25Which I've made myself.
29:27And what...
29:28Just trying to get the message of Christmas through.
29:30LAUGHTER
29:32Through food.
29:34Smells lovely.
29:35And...
29:36Do you want me to...
29:37Do you want me to talk you through it?
29:39Yeah.
29:40So, these are Frazzles on the roof of the, uh...
29:43LAUGHTER
29:44That's the...
29:45It's a Pomb Bear.
29:46LAUGHTER
29:47As...
29:48As the Angel Gabriel.
29:49LAUGHTER
29:50And then we have the Three Kings here, which I...
29:53I made from...
29:54Pepparamis, cos they're...
29:56They're spicy, a bit more exotic.
29:58Um...
29:59You've got the two sausages here.
30:01Uh...
30:02Joseph and Mary.
30:03Obviously, Joseph is a bit taller than Mary.
30:05Yeah.
30:06Um...
30:07And then you've got the...
30:08The star of the show, the baby Jesus.
30:10Uh...
30:11Which is a...
30:12Pig in blanket.
30:13And there's the...
30:14LAUGHTER
30:15I don't mean that in a...
30:16In a sort of negative...
30:17You know, you know.
30:18LAUGHTER
30:19I don't want any...
30:20I don't want any trouble.
30:21LAUGHTER
30:22And then...
30:23You've got the manger made out of chip sticks.
30:24They're nice.
30:25Mm-hm.
30:26And then you've got the...
30:27LAUGHTER
30:28So that's just something that perhaps people could, you know,
30:31make their own tradition now.
30:33LAUGHTER
30:34The savoury nativity.
30:35Would you like to...?
30:36Have you got it in kit form?
30:37Sure.
30:38Do you, like, sell it in a kit?
30:39Could you...?
30:40It's about 12 quid.
30:41LAUGHTER
30:42I mean, the slight problem with it is,
30:44to secure the sausages,
30:46you do have to use, um...
30:48screws.
30:49LAUGHTER
30:50And we're going to have more last leg for you after the break
30:54as Alex performs a Hallmark Christmas scene
30:56we've written just for tonight.
30:57But right now,
30:58Rick Astley is going to perform his first Christmas hit
31:01of the night.
31:02Before he does, though,
31:03we've talked a lot about Alex's love of Christmas,
31:05but Lib Dem leader, Ed Davey,
31:07revealed in an interview this year
31:09that he listens to Christmas tunes all year round.
31:11Wow.
31:12How do we feel about that?
31:13Is that alright?
31:14Oh, I wouldn't...
31:15But isn't his birthday on Christmas Day?
31:16That's the reason, isn't it?
31:17I think he's birthday's on Christmas Day,
31:19so that's probably one of the reasons
31:21why it means a lot to him.
31:22Yeah.
31:23Cos otherwise it'd just be fucking weird.
31:25LAUGHTER
31:26APPLAUSE
31:28Well, it's going to make the next bit awkward.
31:39Rick is going to play us into the break,
31:41but who better to introduce him
31:43than the leader of the Lib Dems...
31:45LAUGHTER
31:47..so, Head Davey!
31:49LAUGHTER
31:50Hi, guys, it's Head Davey here.
31:52Merry Christmas to you all.
31:54It's true,
31:55I like listening to Christmas music all year round.
31:58The reason is,
32:00my daughter and I love winding up her mum,
32:03and it's on my iPhone,
32:04and we play it in the car all the time.
32:06Erm, I'm never going to give up Christmas.
32:09So here's Rick Astley.
32:11APPLAUSE
32:12Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?
32:24In a lane, snow is glisting.
32:28A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight.
32:32We're walking in a winter wonderland.
32:35We'll get along, we'll conspire.
32:39As we dream, by the fire.
32:43To face unafraid, the plans that remain.
32:47Walking in a winter wonderland.
32:49Come on, Rick, let's go.
32:51Three o'clock here, let's go.
32:53Three o'clock here, let's go.
32:55MUSIC
33:12MUSIC
33:17Welcome back to Last Leg, we're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill.
33:35Alex, you're definitely changing.
33:36I feel a little bit more Christmassy at the moment.
33:39Do you?
33:40I'm feeling it a little bit different at the moment, but...
33:43You're definitely progressing.
33:44No, I haven't.
33:45OK, Josh, would you like to explain who you are now?
33:50No, I'm from the Band-Aid video.
33:52Yeah.
33:53So I'm Sarah Dallin from Bananarama, of course.
33:59Look at these jeans, they're fucking brilliant.
34:05It ain't what I do, it's the way that I do it.
34:07We've always said it.
34:09And obviously I'm Tom Hanks in the movie Forrest Gump,
34:12because he famously said life is like a box of chocolates
34:14and the main time you get chocolates is at Christmas.
34:19You still look a bit like you're going to strip.
34:23Yeah, Forrest Hump.
34:26And now, throughout the show, we've been putting Alex through his paces
34:28to see how he'd fare on the US reality series Finding Mr Christmas.
34:32The winner of the first series, by the way, earned a leading role
34:35in a holiday movie about the owner of a Seattle dog shelter
34:39who falls for a meticulous web page editor.
34:42The movie was called Happy Howlidays.
34:45See what you did there.
34:47And see what they did there.
34:48Love it.
34:49Alright, I'm going to send everyone, if you could all go over
34:51and get ready for the next challenge for Alex, please.
34:53Right.
34:54Over in that corner of the studio.
34:56So, Alex's final challenge tonight is to test out his acting chops
35:00in a scene we've written as the ultimate hallmark Christmas movie.
35:04Lights.
35:05Camera.
35:06Christmas.
35:15Help!
35:16Help!
35:17I need an emergency appointment.
35:18Oh, my God.
35:19It's Alison Hammond, the big city TV presenter.
35:21That's right.
35:22I've become so career focused, I've lost touch with what's important in life.
35:27I'm single and I'm home for the holidays.
35:31And?
35:32I've hit a dog.
35:37Oh, my God.
35:38What happened?
35:53I'll tell you what happened.
35:55It's quite difficult to talk because it's really tight on the jaw.
35:58At least do a dog voice.
36:02I'll tell you what happened.
36:03That's better.
36:04Yeah, is that better?
36:05That's better.
36:06I was just sitting there by the side of the road licking my own balls.
36:09And she came round the corner like a lunatic and hit me.
36:10Yeah, but he's such a cutie.
36:11I've really fallen for him.
36:12Is there anyone here who can treat him?
36:13I can't let him die.
36:14I'm the presenter for the love of dogs.
36:15Of course, Miss Hammond.
36:16Do you know what?
36:17The hot vet will see you now.
36:18Oh.
36:19But I'm next.
36:20I'm sorry, Mr Hill, your cat's going to have to wait.
36:21It's not the cat I'm worried about, it's the robins.
36:22I'm afraid Miss Hammond is next.
36:23But I'm on the telly.
36:24I know, but not as much as Alison.
36:25No one's next.
36:26I'm afraid Miss Hammond is next.
36:27But I'm on the telly.
36:28I know, but not as much as Alison.
36:29No one's next.
36:30I can't let him die.
36:31I can't let him die.
36:32I'm the presenter for the love of dogs.
36:33Of course, Miss Hammond.
36:34Do you know what?
36:35The hot vet will see you now.
36:36Oh.
36:37But I'm next.
36:38I can't let him die.
36:39Oh.
36:40No, what about it?
36:41It's the Robins.
36:42It's the Robins.
36:43LAUGHTER
36:45APPLAUSE
36:50Erm.
36:51I'm afraid Miss Hammond is next.
36:52But I'm on the telly.
36:53I know, but not as much as Alison.
36:54No one's on the telly as much as Alison Hammond.
36:56LAUGHTER
36:58Er, the hot vet will see you now.
37:00Oh!
37:02Cheers.
37:03One of the things that you've seen
37:05somebody have a dream boat.
37:07Are you the hot vet? Yes, I'm sweating buckets.
37:10Do you know how hard it is to operate with these little hands?
37:14You look like a man who could really heal my heart.
37:17I mean, dog.
37:18What kind of dog is it?
37:19I don't know.
37:20One of those really little whiny ones by the looks of it.
37:26I'll tell you what.
37:27Why don't you come back to my charming little cottage
37:29and have Christmas with me and my children?
37:31They've been missing a mother figure in their life
37:33ever since my wife died in a tragic Christmas kite accident.
37:37Oh.
37:38Yeah, and then we could go back to the big city
37:41and maybe you could become the resident vet on This Morning.
37:45Bosh!
37:48There you go, little fella.
37:50Oh, what?
37:51Get that on there, boy.
37:52Is that it?
37:54Stop whinging or I'll cut your bollocks off.
37:58Come on, princess, let's go.
38:00Oh.
38:05Oi, what about my robins?
38:10This Christmas, Alex Brooker is the hot vet
38:14in Hallmark's new movie, Vet the Hall.
38:17Alright, it's time to bring out a Christmassy mystery guest.
38:31Harry and Alison have to try to work out
38:33why they were in the news this year.
38:35Can we please have this week's mystery guest?
38:38Mystery guest, mystery guest, Christmas mystery guest.
38:43Oh, what fun it is to have a Christmas mystery guest guest.
38:49Welcome, Josh, Alex, who is the mystery guest?
38:51This is Rob.
38:52He was in the news this year for a Christmassy reason.
38:55Mm-hm.
38:56But what was it?
38:57The dramatic lighting change, please.
39:02So, did Rob get suspended from Broadland Radio
39:05for playing All I Want For Christmas Is You
39:07on October the 3rd?
39:10Did he get suspended as a school exam invigilator
39:12after playing Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade
39:15to signal the end of the final exam?
39:18Or did Rob get suspended by an undertaker
39:21after mistakenly playing Last Christmas
39:23rather than the last post at a funeral?
39:31What do you think?
39:32Well, I don't think you'd make a mistake at a funeral.
39:34You'd be well prepared.
39:35Does he look like an undertaker?
39:41That's a gravedigger.
39:42That's a gravedigger, yeah.
39:46Well, tell you what, we'll reveal the mystery guest
39:47after the break.
39:48Rick Astley is going to sing us into Christmas.
39:50We'll see you in a little bit.
39:53hosting
39:57Welcome back to Last Leg.
39:58We're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill.
40:14Alex has now become full Father Christmas.
40:16Ho, ho, ho!
40:19There you go.
40:21That was a good one.
40:25You know what?
40:26In another reality where the cards had fallen different,
40:29he'd currently be doing that in a grotto in a garden centre.
40:32You're not entirely sure what's going on with your costume.
40:35Well, I didn't think we had very long,
40:38so I was the dog already, so I just shoved mine on top of the dog.
40:41OK.
40:43So, I'm Boy George.
40:45LAUGHTER
40:55Do you know what I'm calling this outfit?
40:56What? Here, Boy George.
40:58Oh, lovely, lovely.
41:04And clearly, I'm Tom Hanks from Castaway,
41:07because when he first experiences pain due to an infected tooth
41:10that goes on to become an ongoing issue whilst he's on the island,
41:13he's had a Christmas dinner.
41:14LAUGHTER
41:15Oh, and I've got the volleyball as well.
41:17Um...
41:18Hooray!
41:20Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
41:22Recognise that handprint.
41:24LAUGHTER
41:25Before the break, we challenged our guest to work out how this person was connected to the news.
41:31Can we have the options again, please?
41:34Yes, this is Rob, and he was connected to the news this year for a Christmassy reason.
41:39But what was it?
41:40Was it because Rob got suspended from Broadland Radio for playing
41:44All I Want For Christmas Is You on October the 3rd?
41:47Was it because he got suspended as a school exam invigilator
41:50after playing Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade to signal the end of the final exam?
41:55Or did he get suspended by an undertaker
41:58to mistakenly playing last Christmas rather than the last post at a funeral?
42:03Ho, ho!
42:04Yeah.
42:05Harry, Ellison?
42:06Oh!
42:07Could we...
42:08Could you say something sort of local radio-ish?
42:12That we could see whether...
42:13Coming up on the show!
42:14Well, hi, folks.
42:16Hope you're having a good Sunday.
42:17Uh...
42:18Yeah.
42:19Is that it?
42:20You've got a good voice for radio!
42:22Could you say...
42:23You could have said no, Rob.
42:24Shall we go with the radio?
42:30Yes.
42:31It's very...
42:32But would they suspend someone just for playing...
42:34It's a bit mean, isn't it?
42:35If they've done that, that is mean.
42:37It's a cutthroat world local.
42:38I won't be listening to that radio station anyway.
42:41Oh, exactly.
42:42Well, yeah, that's the last time you listen to Broadland Radio, isn't it?
42:46Oh, I thought you said Broadmoor.
42:48LAUGHTER
42:54Rob, can you reveal your identity, please?
42:58I am indeed Rob Chandler, breakfast presenter at Broadland Radio,
43:03and I was suspended for playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song
43:06early in October.
43:08Amazing.
43:09Ooh!
43:10Indeed!
43:11So why did you play it, and then why did they suspend you?
43:15Well, it started with a text from a listener called Becky,
43:19who said she was putting out her Christmas stock in her shop,
43:23and could I play a Christmas song?
43:25So I thought, tell you what, if I get at least five listener texts
43:29saying, ho, ho, ho...
43:31Ho, ho, ho!
43:32Exactly.
43:34I'll consider it.
43:35And we did.
43:36We got a load of text saying ho, ho, ho.
43:38One or two saying, no, no, no.
43:41But then Billy the Taxi Driver...
43:43You must know Billy the Taxi Driver.
43:45No.
43:46Um...
43:47LAUGHTER
43:49Another keen listener text and said,
43:53there's a tub of chocolates in it for you.
43:55If you play Mariah Carey, all I want for Christmas is you.
43:59So, came back after the news, and I read that text out,
44:04and I said, quite frankly, I'm disappointed, Billy,
44:07that you could think I could be so shallow to fall...
44:11Here we go.
44:12..for such a blatant bribe.
44:14Yeah.
44:15Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
44:16Oh!
44:18Played a song.
44:19Yeah.
44:20How long was you suspended for?
44:22How long was you suspended?
44:23One day.
44:24Oh, is that all?
44:25Yeah.
44:26Did you go shopping?
44:27What did you do?
44:28I just stayed in bed all day.
44:29Chill day.
44:31Can we please have a round of applause for Rob?
44:34APPLAUSE
44:39Uh, all right, we are about to end the show
44:41with a Christmas sing-along from Rick Astley,
44:42but before we do, would you please thank our guests,
44:44Alison Hammond!
44:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:48Harry Hill!
44:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:51And my co-host, Josh Riddicom!
44:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:54And Alex Brooker!
44:56We'll be back next week for our New Year's Eve special
44:58with an incredible line-up.
44:59Musician Peter Doherty, comedians Maisie Adam and Phil Wang,
45:02national treasure Sir Lenny Henry, TV personality Danny Dyer,
45:06rugby star Hannah Botterman, Lioness Lucy Bronze,
45:09as well as a celebrity barman who is 100% faithful...
45:14Right now, though, Rick Astley is going to sing us into Christmas.
45:17Thanks for watching The Last Leg.
45:18My name's Adam Hills.
45:19Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.
45:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:30You better watch out, you better not cry.
45:33You better not pout, I'm telling you why.
45:37Santa Claus is coming to town.
45:42It's snowing, Rob, let's go!
45:44He sees you when you're sleeping.
46:09He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake
46:16He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake
46:23You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not cry
46:29I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town
46:35He got eight billion toys on his sleigh, he's packed, he's coming your way
46:44Santa, it's coming in town
46:50Ba-ba-da-ba, ba-ba-da-da
46:54Bang! Merry Christmas!
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