- 20 minutes ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Merry Christmas!
00:27Merry Christmas!
00:29Is it, though?
00:32Cos I'm out here in the cold, running a mulled wine stall that was your idea while you're
00:36in the warm, like the ghost of Christmas.
00:38Merry Christmas!
00:39Oh, I don't know who he was.
00:40Get your bum out here now!
00:42Go have it.
00:44I'm expecting a shot any time.
00:47It's a public street, and it's on Christmas Day.
00:50So that means it's not allowed, is it?
00:51Merry blah blah.
00:53Why don't you have some of this muck?
00:54Well, salesperson of the year.
00:56Cheers.
00:57I love Merry Christmas.
00:58Merry Christmas.
01:01Looks like we should be singing Feed the World.
01:03We will not be caught with insufficient food, will we?
01:06Look at all those vegetables!
01:08I know!
01:09You're not wearing your present?
01:10Er, er, no, I will.
01:12Right, come on.
01:13Let the peeling commence after you, gabinet.
01:15What present has he got that you can't wear out here?
01:20Do we really want to know?
01:21He got me a Cardi.
01:23Right, because you're 74 years of age.
01:26And, er, murder mystery thing.
01:28Oh, where have you got to go for that?
01:29Oh, I don't know.
01:30Some hotel in Webberfield.
01:32Where?
01:33Oh, God knows.
01:34Webberfield?
01:36No, really.
01:36Merry Christmas!
01:47Merry Christmas!
01:49Too early?
01:50I like that you're so keen.
01:52Oh, Merry Christmas!
01:58Yeah, Merry Christmas.
02:03Ho, ho, ho!
02:05We're selling for yours later?
02:06Uh-huh.
02:07Right, be late afternoon.
02:08Got a few guests here.
02:10Right, see you later.
02:11Yeah.
02:13Hey!
02:14Merry Christmas!
02:15Good to you.
02:16I got a scooter.
02:17Yeah, sir.
02:18Yay!
02:18So that means that no one's safe.
02:20Why don't we go and terrorise the rest of the village?
02:21Mine.
02:26Er, question.
02:27How come I didn't get a scooter?
02:29I've spent enough on you on My Little Pony, thank you.
02:33Go on, another one, love.
02:34Yeah, go on then.
02:35Not for me.
02:36I've, er, actually got somewhere.
02:38I'm gonna pop off to you.
02:38Where are you going?
02:41Robert, where are you going?
02:43Merry Christmas!
02:44Merry Christmas!
02:45Merry Christmas!
02:51Merry Christmas!
03:00Merry Christmas!
03:01Merry Christmas!
03:02You're welcome!
03:02So, do you like it?
03:03Yeah!
03:05Really?
03:06Of course!
03:07Right, well, why are you just giving one-word answers then?
03:10I love it. Thanks.
03:13It's just them two. Flipping hijacking things yesterday.
03:16I know, I'm not exactly chuffed about it either, but let's not let it ruin our Christmas as well.
03:25Oh, my God! This is so much better than mine!
03:29I know.
03:30Did you just guess it was gonna be a girl?
03:32I bought two lots. I'm sending the blue ones back.
03:34Yeah, very clever.
03:36Hey! Happy Christmas!
03:40Yeah, what he said.
03:46Sorry, got a bit of a head.
03:48Celebrating, were you?
03:50Only a bit.
03:52Sure.
03:55How are we?
03:58Disappointed.
04:00It was a bit, you know...
04:02It was massively out of order. And bonkers.
04:05Last night was supposed to be our wedding night.
04:07Well, you don't need the ring to do the thing.
04:11Seriously.
04:13Sorry.
04:14Well, tell me, you grunt.
04:15Whenever we want.
04:16Yeah.
04:17The sooner the better. I'm getting dressed.
04:20Sherry?
04:21The sooner the better.
04:22The sooner the better.
04:23The sooner the better.
04:27Computer, stop.
04:29Would you like me to play more Christmas music?
04:32Definitely not.
04:34Now playing Jingle Bell Rock.
04:37Computer, stop.
04:38Stop.
04:51Oh no.
04:53Now playing Gold.
04:55Computer, stop or I swear.
04:57Now playing Walking in the Air.
05:09Oh, I like this one.
05:11Here's the thing about knocking on a door that you don't seem to understand.
05:16Spare me the sarcasm.
05:18Wow. What did you get for Christmas? Big box feisty?
05:21I made a mistake yesterday. When I binned you off.
05:25Making one now if you think that's what happened.
05:29I may have overreacted slightly.
05:32Truth is, I need a posh friend in me life.
05:35Gives me an air of mystery.
05:37Like people think, oh, I wonder what Kim sees in that one.
05:41And it's nice.
05:43Just being here.
05:45Basking in your magnificence.
05:46And it makes me realise how lucky I am.
05:49You and I being mates.
05:51Like when you're having issues with your caviar not being the right temperature.
05:55Or too many bubbles in your champagne.
05:58And I think to myself,
06:00At least I don't have Kim's troubles.
06:03So, I'm willing to accept your apology.
06:06And give you another chance.
06:10You'd better pour yourself a drink then.
06:12What kind of host are you?
06:13What kind of host are you?
06:34How are you?
06:36Good, thanks.
06:37How are you really?
06:44Not great.
06:46Come here.
06:58I'm on a year cos Johnny pestered.
07:00Noted.
07:03Where's the rest of you boys?
07:04Well, Noah's out working.
07:06For triple time.
07:07And get this.
07:08Ryan's gone for a turkey curry.
07:10With someone called Stab Wound.
07:12Who we met gaming.
07:13So he's definitely getting murdered.
07:15Go on, drink.
07:17Yeah, I'll just have one.
07:19Oh, knock yourself out, Vanessa.
07:22Slow down, Moses.
07:24And put your helmet on.
07:26He should be wearing a helmet.
07:28You're a helmet.
07:29Get a drink and just shut up.
07:30Wow!
07:32Oh, sorry.
07:34Is there a speed limit?
07:36No, there isn't.
07:37You crack on.
07:39How are you cracking on with your issue?
07:42Well, it's only an issue if someone makes it an issue.
07:46It's hardly the subject for Christmas Day, is it?
07:47Oh, I don't know.
07:48A pregnant woman and the father not being who everyone thinks it is.
07:49Oh, cute.
07:50Merry Christmas!
07:51Merry Christmas!
07:52Merry Christmas!
07:53Merry Christmas!
07:54Cheers, aren't you?
07:55I didn't know you were coming for dinner.
07:56Oh, no, we're not.
07:57Oh, Johnny and Moses just said you are.
07:58He's well excited.
07:59We don't mind, do we?
08:00No, we don't mind.
08:01Brilliant idea.
08:02Hey, Merry Christmas!
08:03Cheers, aren't you?
08:04I didn't know you were coming for dinner.
08:05Oh, no, we're not.
08:07Oh, Johnny and Moses just said you are.
08:09He's well excited.
08:10We don't mind, do we?
08:11No, we don't mind.
08:12Brilliant idea.
08:16Hey!
08:17Merry Christmas!
08:18Where's Eve?
08:19Upstairs with Harry.
08:20Doing what?
08:21I don't know, do I?
08:22Oh, you've got it on.
08:23It looks wonderful.
08:24Yeah, you'll fit right in it, WI.
08:25Right.
08:26Come on, Cardi B.
08:27Get some of these pigs.
08:28How many are we feeding?
08:38Has Robert come round to yours?
08:39No.
08:40Why?
08:41Did he say he was gonna?
08:42Well, he's just got off and now he's not answering his phone.
08:43What, at all?
08:44What do you mean, at all?
08:45He's not gonna answer it a little bit, is he?
08:46Don't get crappy.
08:47Well, I'm worried, Vic.
08:48So where is he now, then?
08:49I don't know.
08:55Hopefully, you did.
08:56Thanks, Chip!
08:57Cheers!
08:58Cheers!
08:59Cheers!
09:00Cheers!
09:01Cheers!
09:01Cheers!
09:01Cheers!
09:07дух
09:20Right, let's see your riddance for a day.
09:45Oh, I won!
09:48Oh, sorry Liam.
09:49Right, come on you.
09:49Let's go sit down.
09:52Wow, that Christmas lunch with Pernice really got to you, didn't it?
09:55Not the great famine of 2018, not at all.
09:59I wouldn't worry about rabbit love.
10:01Well, you would if you knew that Kev's back, firing guns.
10:05What?
10:06What is back?
10:08Someone took a shot at us yesterday.
10:11Where was this?
10:12At Butler's.
10:13The police reckoned it was just poachers and they were stray shots.
10:17Yeah, well, they're probably right.
10:19Yeah, until we got back and there was an envelope with Kev's wedding ring and a bullet in it.
10:23Oh, my goodness.
10:25Do you reckon we should go and look for him?
10:26I was just going to suggest it, actually.
10:28No, hang on, hang on.
10:29Where are you even going to look?
10:30I don't know.
10:31Well, we can't just sit here.
10:32Maybe you should call the police.
10:33And say what?
10:34That my fully grown adult boyfriend's been missing for a couple of hours.
10:37Well, I think I'd also suggest the shooting, the bullet in the ring.
10:42Hello, Charles.
10:43He came earlier.
10:45Thought I'd give him space to be with Ethan by himself.
10:49Never gets any easier, does it?
10:51Tell me about it.
10:54Like Christmas isn't difficult enough.
10:56I've got three brothers here as well as my dad.
10:59You must miss them very much.
11:02It's been so long.
11:04Sometimes it feels like they were never here at all.
11:07But you must feel like Ethan's barely been gone.
11:13There are still days Charles and I still call his name.
11:16Give him my best.
11:26What are you doing here?
11:29I'm looking to buy a new carpet.
11:34So as I can sweep everything that's happened recently under it.
11:40Looks like you've already started that.
11:41Congratulations, by the way, on your engagement.
11:49Thanks.
12:02I miss him.
12:05Yes, same.
12:07I miss you.
12:10And you.
12:11Me?
12:14Ooh.
12:15That's all right.
12:16It's Christmas.
12:18And?
12:19What happens at Christmas?
12:21Well, what usually happens is families fall out.
12:25We've already done that.
12:27So is anyone open to moving on to the next phase?
12:31What's that?
12:33We stand around awkwardly.
12:35Not so much.
12:35And then, at some point, preferably very soon, your bags appear in the hallway at home and it's kind of accepted that you've moved back in.
12:45That might work.
12:49Let the awkward standing commence.
12:53Oh, yes.
12:54Let's get some roasted.
12:55Oops.
12:56Hi.
12:57Hey.
12:58I told you to wait for your dad.
13:00You OK?
13:01Yeah.
13:02Have you been to Nate's grave?
13:03Yeah.
13:04I have, mate.
13:05Come here.
13:06Right, come on.
13:07Let's get this show on the road, then.
13:08You know, we've still got time for our knees, that.
13:09I've got my feet up.
13:10Old.
13:11Yeah, so old.
13:12Can't even make it to the food.
13:13Come on.
13:14Have this not opened all the presents?
13:15Er, no.
13:16Not yet.
13:17Oh-ho-ho.
13:18Come on.
13:19Come on, out of here.
13:20What have you got?
13:21Yeah.
13:22Get in there.
13:23What have you got?
13:24Brilliant.
13:26He-he-he-hee.
13:27Now, pass this to your brother.
13:29What have you got?
13:30Right.
13:32Hello, sir.
13:33I'm going to take the door.
13:34I'm going to take the door.
13:35I'm going to take the door.
13:36Now, the door is I'm going to take the door.
13:37Get in there.
13:38Look at me.
13:39Look at me.
13:40Look at me.
13:43And I'm going to take the door with one.
13:51Yeah.
13:52I'm going to take my camera.
13:54I'm going to take the door with the door.
13:55Hello. Hey, how are we all? How's me big man? Merry Christmas.
14:03Merry Christmas.
14:05Hello, Cain. Because it's a spanner.
14:11Yeah, I get it.
14:13Merry Christmas.
14:15Did you get anything nice?
14:17I need to get back to.
14:19And...
14:23How are you, mister?
14:25It's just another day with our aims, isn't it?
14:28Not really.
14:30No. No, not really.
14:31No, come here.
14:35Anyway, what do you think she would want me to do, eh, your mum, if she was here?
14:39Have a good time.
14:41For what we're gonna do, then?
14:42Have a good time!
14:44Nailed it!
14:45Right, erm, do we get our own drinks or do you like to control it?
14:49Control, Gary!
14:51Right, come on in.
14:52Brought you some company.
14:54Thanks.
14:57A lot.
14:59I really appreciate this.
15:01I don't relish the prospect of being in that house all day.
15:04Oh, happy birthday.
15:06Hope we're not imposing too much.
15:09How much is too much?
15:10Well, we're enjoying being here just as much as you are having us.
15:13Kim, sit down, get comfy.
15:16Oh, thanks.
15:17And you guys.
15:18Get on the settee.
15:19Thanks, Sam and Lydia and Belle.
15:22Yeah, no worries.
15:23Has Billy got the kids?
15:24Yeah.
15:25I feel like we should have some kind of plaque.
15:27Kim Tate's sat here.
15:29Well, I've got a box of them.
15:31I'll bring you one.
15:32Really?
15:33No, Sam.
15:34Oh.
15:35Right.
15:36Jokes.
15:37Erm, drinks.
15:39Well, Merry Christmas, everyone.
15:41Merry Christmas.
15:42Feels like I should let you drink from the welly, but it's only really for people joining family.
15:47Well, disappointed as I am not to be drinking moonshine from weather-resistant footwear,
15:52I'll try not to let it ruin my festive mood.
15:55Will this do?
15:56Oh.
15:57My absolute favourite.
16:00Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong.
16:06Merry Christmas.
16:07Merry Christmas.
16:08Happy Christmas.
16:09Bye-bye.
16:10Greetings.
16:11Oh, Merry Christmas.
16:12Merry Christmas and all that.
16:14Where's your dad and the kids?
16:16Well, he fell asleep so they're drawing on his face.
16:18They'll be over once I've finished deviling him.
16:20Yeah, Dottie's gone round to film it for YouTube.
16:23I thought I heard an entrance.
16:24Oh, Merry Christmas.
16:25Yes.
16:26This do you?
16:27Erm, have you two met properly?
16:29Well, he's been at the cafe about half a million times.
16:31No, formally I meant.
16:33Like in Westminster Abbey or summer?
16:36Well, I've heard a lot about you.
16:38Oh, really?
16:39No, but you make a good coffee.
16:42Not been bigging me up, then?
16:45I'll let your majestic presence speak for it, sir.
16:48In a decade's time, this is what you'll have to deal with from her.
16:53I'll settle for that.
16:56Excuse me.
17:02Wow.
17:03You've finished already.
17:04I was assuming drinking quickly was some sort of rule.
17:07Yeah, but we haven't had a toast yet.
17:09Well, you're going to have to do it without me
17:10because we are going for a walk with Vinnie.
17:12Is this pre-planned or is it an escape?
17:15Pre-planned, promise.
17:16But I might see you later.
17:18It's all right.
17:19Sorry.
17:21Right, then.
17:22What, er, what we're drinking to?
17:25Business as usual.
17:27Business as usual.
17:28Er, can I just check?
17:30Are you two under the impression that I'm giving you your jobs back?
17:34Because I want to make it very clear that I am.
17:38Oh, you beggar.
17:40You had us going, then.
17:44Hey, Sam.
17:45What?
17:48What?
17:49What?
17:50What?
17:51What?
17:52Want what?
17:53Drink from the welly.
17:55Drink from the welly.
17:56Drink from the welly.
17:57Drink from the welly.
17:58This is very weird.
17:59Drink from the welly.
18:00I'm uncomfortable.
18:01Drink from the welly.
18:02Drink from the welly.
18:03Drink from the welly.
18:04Drink from the welly.
18:05Drink from the welly.
18:06Drink from the welly.
18:07Drink from the welly.
18:08Drink from the welly.
18:09Drink from the welly.
18:10Drink from the welly.
18:11still don't mean you're a dingle well oh imagine my devastation not that this isn't the pinnacle
18:24of my drinking experiences but would anyone care for some red wine from my salon i thought you just
18:29kept corpses in that yes that sounds really good let's go okay i'll come with you can i choose
18:34someone off well we'd be foolish to disregard your impeccable taste is that a yes or no come on sir
18:40nothing with dust on hey i was banging on at you a bit earlier wasn't i well we all need banging on
18:54at from time to time but time to time not all the time noted you know you're lucky i know and sam
19:05is extremely lucky i don't know about that yes you do he looks after me well i'm glad to hear it
19:13would you mind if i looked after you two what do you mean oh like say
19:22you still inheriting home farm
19:26have you forgotten how to count i've tried to prepare for everything beyond the extent of
19:38preparation do you know who's in that nelson mandela taylor swift right come on let's go look for him
19:43chas can you watch harry no need but he's about to turn six not six oh finally
19:48you knew i was nipping out and where have you been getting your phone fixed i've been calling you
19:54what because i've been gone a couple of hours it's been longer than that
19:57well it must have been on silent sorry well it's just we thought you know kev had got you
20:02told us about yesterday what no no don't worry about that i'm done with that madman interfering with
20:08our lives hello hello hey festive greetings oh hiya merry christmas i thought you're off seeing
20:14steph nanas tomorrow are we uh we all right yes don't worry the taylor swift appreciation society
20:20has got it all covered she got you in that sparkly dress again you wish oh you come bearing gifts
20:25how come you're suddenly not worried anymore because what's the point it's christmas relax
20:32what's the point it's like
21:02so eric this thing with them you and carrie was uh a slow burn or carrie and i have been
21:15extremely fond of each other for a very long time and the fondness has blossomed into a deep
21:24a mutual love
21:26and mutual love
21:31do they
21:33supposed to catch it oh right
21:39and now what
21:40eat it or put it on your heart
21:46sweet sweet
21:50nice fit mate
21:51a counterfeit
21:52thanks for these they're great
21:54you're welcome babe
21:56so are you like uh grandad now you two are married
22:00you're welcome
22:01ah
22:02is that okay
22:03does it make a difference
22:05oh banger
22:08oh there she goes
22:11yes kid no kid
22:18no kid
22:19where are you going
22:22quiet christmas you said right come on you let's go bring that with you okay see you
22:26later take care bye bye
22:28oh one of them stoops to visit downstairs are the other two joining us anytime soon i mean do they know it's christmas time at all well the presents were a bit of a clue er but yeah
22:47i've got a little something for you
22:50dylan
22:51are you a guest
22:52all right everyone
22:54merry christmas
22:55you said you couldn't get out of hospital
22:56yeah i lied i'm out
22:57how are you feeling sweetheart
22:58er better for seeing this one
23:00well it's been so long
23:03you okay
23:04hello
23:05come here
23:06i love you
23:07gonna be all right aren't we
23:08yeah
23:10where's eve
23:11er with chas
23:13where's your mum
23:14she's with er with charles and claudette
23:16oh she's blowing you out
23:17she
23:18yeah that's it
23:19at least you know where your parent is
23:21sorry
23:25dirty
23:26i've got to be all right it's christmas day i think
23:37again
23:40I've got to realise it's Christmas Day, I think.
24:04OK, right, it's a book.
24:06Oh, this should be good.
24:08What? The ladybird heard?
24:09No?
24:10What the ladybird heard next?
24:12Hmm.
24:13Well, that's the only two books you've ever read.
24:15The Godfather, that's a book.
24:16No, no, no, no, we have to wait, right, for how many words first.
24:20Right, of course.
24:21All two, all four words.
24:23That's barely a headline.
24:25That's how many words are in the title?
24:28Oh, um, Fifty Shades of Grey.
24:30Well, if you start mumming now, I'm gouging me on out.
24:33No, Grey, he's going to give us some clues, all right?
24:36You're like Crocodile Dundee when he went to New York and had not a clue what was going on.
24:40Ooh, Jimmy and his highbrow cultural reference.
24:42Anyway, you, Ray knows plenty about Christmas.
24:44Show him your bracelet.
24:45No, no, no, no, we're playing a game.
24:47We're playing a game.
24:48We're playing a game.
24:49Ooh, fancy.
24:51What have you been doing?
24:52Mining cryptocurrency?
24:53Oh, nothing that lucrative.
24:55Lucrative enough?
24:56I had nothing better to spend my money on.
24:58Oh, thanks.
24:59No, I didn't.
25:00Oh, no, don't battle.
25:01I'm really offended.
25:03Look, this is going to take all day.
25:04I'm going to give you a verbal clue.
25:06It's what I want to do to Nicola, sometimes.
25:09Sexy time.
25:10Oh, no, not on a Thursday.
25:12Hang on, I know it.
25:15Tequila Mockingbird.
25:17You got it.
25:19You got it.
25:20You got it.
25:21Funny man.
25:22Wait till you're asleep and see what happens to your face.
25:24Mwah.
25:25Right, come and get another drink.
25:26And then I'm telling you everything you're going to be buying me for Christmas next year.
25:29Have you got a play?
25:31Is this too much?
25:32This is the best Christmas ever.
25:33Oh, I don't know whether that makes me really happy or really sad.
25:37Well, it makes me happy.
25:39Well, play your cards right and you can have another one of these next year.
25:44Yeah?
25:45Here.
25:46Here.
25:48Yeah.
25:49Oh.
25:50Decent, that one.
25:51Thank you for your effusive praise.
25:54Hey, hey.
25:55So, I've got you one more present.
25:57Well, I sort of maybe kind of got it for myself, but you ready?
26:00Go on.
26:04Aye?
26:05Yeah.
26:06We used to play that to Destruction when you were little, didn't we?
26:09I mean, literally.
26:10I think we went through about four of them.
26:11I had to buy a new one every other Christmas.
26:12And how did you manage that?
26:13Well, I used to...
26:14I found it very tense.
26:15I used to snap the little plastic doors.
26:17Yeah, you used to rage quit every time you lost, I seem to recall.
26:21I did not.
26:22Always.
26:23Anyway, she used to ask such weird questions.
26:25Does yours look like it could ride a horse?
26:27Yeah, I won every time.
26:28Ridiculously.
26:29So, we're playing, then, or what?
26:31Well, that sounds dangerous.
26:32Yeah, and it's only for two players.
26:33It's only two players.
26:34Look, we can team up.
26:36We can take turns.
26:38I just...
26:40I feel really lucky to be having this Christmas after where we were last year.
26:44And this would just be the icing on the cake.
26:46Indulge your old dad.
26:48Fine.
26:49Fine.
26:50Yeah?
26:51Yeah.
26:52We'll play at the table.
26:53So you can turn it over and you lose.
26:54Oh!
26:55There's pudding.
26:56Oh!
26:57Oh!
26:58Oh!
26:59Oh!
27:00I'll be there in a sec.
27:01I'll be there in a sec.
27:02How do you just help?
27:03Help Dylan.
27:04Yeah.
27:05One sec.
27:06Alright.
27:13Hello?
27:14I'm coming.
27:16Things are gonna be okay.
27:17Do you know that?
27:18Yeah, I do.
27:30It's me.
27:33Promise me you'll leave my family alone.
27:37Okay.
27:39Then I'll do it.
27:40I'll come with you.
27:44It's a kiss.
27:45Come on.
27:46One sec.
27:47One sec.
27:48One sec.
27:49One sec.
27:50One sec.
27:51One sec.
27:52One sec.
27:53One sec.
27:54One sec.
27:55One sec.
27:56One sec.
27:57One sec.
27:58One sec.
27:59One sec.
28:00One sec.
28:01One sec.
28:02One sec.
28:03One sec.
28:04One sec.
28:05One sec.
28:06One sec.
28:07One sec.
28:08One sec.
28:09What a surprise.
28:10You're good at making ladies drinks.
28:12Do you want a soft drink?
28:13Oh, I do.
28:14It's pretty good that one.
28:16I can't believe you lost.
28:18Are they beetroot?
28:19Wow.
28:20I don't know.
28:21Why don't we play cards against decency?
28:23Oh!
28:24Oh, yeah.
28:25No, we can't.
28:26I went and chucked them out.
28:27What?
28:28Why?
28:29Because he was reading all the cards and quoting from them randomly.
28:31It's like we were living with Frankie Boyle.
28:34I know a game we can play.
28:36Go on, then.
28:37Let's play Truth or Dare.
28:43Oh, nah.
28:44That's well boring.
28:45And anyway, everyone chooses dares, so...
28:47So, you book the trend then, Charity.
28:50Go truth.
28:52Ooh.
28:53Anyone want another drink?
28:54Mm.
28:55Yeah, yeah, I'll have another one, thanks.
28:57Or, I've got another one.
28:58Oh, this is a really good one.
29:00Never have I ever.
29:02Shall we play that?
29:03Why don't we play it in a minute when you've had some fresh air, darling?
29:06Never have I ever.
29:08Ooh.
29:09Let's think.
29:10What shall I go with?
29:11Never have I ever.
29:12Come on.
29:13Never have I ever.
29:15Ripped anyone's head off their shoulders.
29:17But do you know what?
29:18The night is yet young.
29:19Come on.
29:20Never have I ever.
29:21Never have you ever been this drunk.
29:23Oh, the lady.
29:24I'm out.
29:25I'm out.
29:26I'm out.
29:27Well, come on, then.
29:40Who are you?
29:41Why have you done this?
29:45Have you lost your tongue, yeah?
29:47Oh, no.
29:48Wait, that's right.
29:49Not yet, you haven't, because I'm gonna cut it off and that's just for the start.
29:55Well, that's a big threat.
29:57From a man in your very precarious position.
30:10You know, I know who you are.
30:25No.
30:26Saved on introductions.
30:28Johnny Psycho.
30:30The murderer.
30:31Not true.
30:32Hmm.
30:34That kid wraps himself up inside bowling and jumps in the lake today, yeah?
30:37Show some respect.
30:39That kid had a name.
30:42Nate.
30:43And his death was an accident.
30:45Right.
30:46That will not be why nobody hates you, then.
30:48Nobody refers to you as a massive nutter.
30:52Not very popular, are you?
30:56You know, truth be told, I made some mistakes.
31:10I let things slip.
31:12But now I'm gonna make up for it.
31:15The storm's coming.
31:21Not literally, idiot.
31:23Read.
31:27You caused a bit of one though, didn't you?
31:29What, with your little siege?
31:31Yeah, I read all about that in the news.
31:33A sword.
31:34Very, er...
31:35Very visually arresting.
31:40Not quite as effective as a bullet though.
31:42I came this close.
31:43To putting one through your husband's head yesterday.
31:48Just after I drugged you, and stopped you shooting my husband.
31:51No, I was so wrong about you.
31:55You're completely mentally stable.
31:57Aaron really does not know what he's missing.
32:00Aaron is not gonna miss out on anything.
32:02He knows where his future lies.
32:05But there's a bit of work to be done first though.
32:08Well, this is your little squat, is it?
32:11Yeah, like what you've done with the place.
32:14Well, I see.
32:16Yours, it's, er...
32:17It's mine.
32:18No.
32:20Well, he suits you.
32:23Just need to knock together a little paddy cell for ya.
32:26Cause that's where you're ending up.
32:28I'm ending up with Aaron.
32:31Together, like we are meant to be.
32:32Happy.
32:33Content.
32:34And committed to each other.
32:37With you and Robert nowhere to be seen.
32:39By anyone ever again.
32:42Tell me one thing Necoming Clean will achieve.
32:45I'll tell you two.
32:47She'll know the truth.
32:48Jacob will know the truth.
32:49And also Mac will know the truth.
32:51And yeah, I know that's three.
32:52I've had a drink. Sue me.
32:53Oh no.
32:54Beautiful speech, Vanessa.
32:55Have you got another one to help Sarah
32:57pick herself up off the floor once her life's in bits?
33:00Feels like that's your job, don't you think?
33:03No, it doesn't have to be anybody's job if I just...
33:05If they just...
33:06If they just lie to her for the rest of her life.
33:08She's never gonna forgive me for this and you know that.
33:11I've always thought of Eat and Mess as one of those terrible games that they play at boarding school.
33:21Oh!
33:23It's a good thing we've finished our food before you gave us that disgusting image.
33:27Kindred spirits.
33:28Oh, cute.
33:29I am actually, yeah.
33:30Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a grave on Christmas Day?
33:31She's that where you've been.
33:33Oh, sorry.
33:34Is this a private party?
33:35It doesn't have to be.
33:36Sit down.
33:37We didn't want to intrude.
33:38No, no, no.
33:39Not at all.
33:40Is Mary not with you?
33:41No, she's a...
33:42She's a very keen Scrabble player.
33:43Very keen.
33:44And serious.
33:45We didn't lie to her.
33:46I said I wanted to check on Kevin.
33:47Oh.
33:48To see if he checked in with you at all.
33:49Has he?
33:50No.
33:51No.
33:52No.
33:53No.
33:54No.
33:55No.
33:56No.
33:57No.
33:58No.
33:59No.
34:00No.
34:01No.
34:02No.
34:03No.
34:04No.
34:05No.
34:06No.
34:07No.
34:08No.
34:09No.
34:10I got a card.
34:12Just said Kay.
34:13I know what he's done, but no one should be alone at this time.
34:17Do you want a drink?
34:19Ooh.
34:20I reckon Claudette could be trouble on bubbles.
34:22I'm not.
34:23I'm Randy on shandy.
34:24I'll have a shandy.
34:27No.
34:28Just joking.
34:29Or am I?
34:30Cheers, everyone.
34:33Well, just...
34:35Hang on a sec.
34:36Ooh.
34:39I'm not really a fan of publicly humiliating myself.
34:44Oh, well, that's not true, but carry on.
34:47Ah, it's good. It's very good.
34:49I just...
34:50I just wanted to say this year has been a bit...
34:54Well, I mean, even by our standards, it's been a weird one.
35:00It's been hard, mostly.
35:03And very hard.
35:05Sometimes.
35:08And scary.
35:10And...
35:12It's been sad.
35:17But it's also been...
35:20amazing.
35:22And although you...
35:23Most of you are...
35:25A pain in the backside.
35:29You're family.
35:31We're family.
35:34And...
35:34I'm glad we've got each other.
35:37So, you know...
35:38Merry Christmas.
35:41Merry Christmas.
35:42Merry Christmas.
35:44Merry Christmas.
35:45To family.
35:47Well, and you.
35:48Sarah wants this baby so much.
35:52No, she wants her baby so much.
35:55And this isn't that.
35:57You got pregnant by your husband.
36:00Your husband, who's already had one child ripped out of his life.
36:04And despite your age-defying lady bits, isn't likely to get another chance at being a dad.
36:10It's just...
36:11It's so wrong on so many levels.
36:15Do you know what else it is?
36:16None of my business.
36:18Bingo!
36:19So, do you know what I'm going to do?
36:20Right now.
36:21I'm going to go home.
36:22And I suggest you follow and get Johnny and go home yourself.
36:26Preferably without shouting your mouth off.
36:27Merry Christmas.
36:46Merry Christmas.
36:47Merry Christmas.
36:48Merry Christmas.
36:49Merry Christmas.
36:50Right.
36:50Torch is on.
36:53Okay.
36:54Let's go see Grandad.
36:55Do you want it?
36:55We'll swap.
37:01Bit of it quiet on the way over here.
37:05You been thinking about your mum?
37:07Always.
37:10I didn't even get to buy her a present.
37:12Oh, yeah.
37:13I'll never get to buy her a present again.
37:17Ka-ching.
37:22What are we doing?
37:23Well, you didn't think of that spanner was your Christmas present, did you?
37:28Yeah.
37:37What's this?
37:38This is a lot of hard work.
37:42So, are you up for it?
37:43Me?
37:44Why?
37:46Because this is your car.
37:48Merry Christmas, son.
37:50Is it actually mine?
37:52Well, I mean, it's a bit of a state at the moment.
37:54Okay.
37:57Well, it won't be when we're finished, though, because me and you are going to turn this into
38:01the best car for miles.
38:03Three years.
38:04What?
38:05Well, you know, until you're old enough to drive it when you're 17.
38:09So, you're up for it or what?
38:10Yeah, definitely.
38:11Definitely.
38:38Like I didn't exist.
38:49Like I didn't exist.
39:08Can you stop walking into me, please?
39:24Well, we're certain it's me that's walking into you, are we?
39:27Absolutely.
39:28110%.
39:29Oh, no.
39:30Don't be that person.
39:31What person?
39:33The butcherer of percentages.
39:36Butcherer is not a word.
39:38Yes, it is.
39:39What's it mean, then?
39:41Someone who butchers.
39:44It's just a butcher.
39:46Are you going to open the door, then, or what?
39:47You've got the keys.
39:49Oh, you've got the keys.
39:49You've got the keys in your hand right now.
39:52Oh.
39:54I think I might be a bit drunk.
39:56Yeah, well, you're stone-cold sober compared to Aaron.
39:58Do you think he's still asleep?
40:01Oh, yeah.
40:02He'll be flat out in that back room all night.
40:06Right.
40:08Hush!
40:13Where have you been?
40:15Out.
40:16Yeah, I think the clue was when you walked back in.
40:19Where'd you go?
40:20Went for a walk.
40:23Oh, right.
40:24Be like that, Mr. International Man of Mystery.
40:28Oh, my goodness.
40:31So, not an easy day, then.
40:36No, it's been fun.
40:38Where is everyone?
40:40Er, Vanessa and Johnny have gone home.
40:43Sarah and Jacob went out with Moses on his new scooter,
40:46and Ross trailed off like a bad smell on a gentle breeze.
40:52We are alone.
40:55For once.
40:58Do you want to take advantage?
40:59Mm-hmm.
41:01And we're good.
41:03We're great.
41:04Come on, then.
41:07Come on, then.
41:07All right.
41:10Ali.
41:10Hey! Glad tidings running off!
41:34Oh, back out of your boat!
41:36Hold on!
41:40This is a beautiful day!
41:42It's a beautiful day!
41:48You can't wait to see me.
41:50I'm going to leave the boat.
41:54This is a beautiful day.
41:58I'm going to leave the boat.
42:02I'm going to leave it there.
42:04I'm going to leave the boat.
42:06That's better.
42:29Big day, eh?
42:32Big year.
42:33And I thought it was going to be the best year ever, but...
42:39Yeah, yeah, I'll go and check. Won't be sick.
43:03No, he's fine.
43:18He won't be tomorrow, but that's his problem.
43:21So many people care about you, but not one of them as much as I do.
43:35I mean, 2025 has been a shocking year, but...
43:41But 26, no.
43:45That is going to be the best year ever.
43:48Because you and me, we're going to be together.
43:53No matter what.
44:30You
Be the first to comment