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Transcript
00:00MUSIC PLAYS
00:02MUSIC PLAYS
00:04MUSIC PLAYS
00:06MUSIC PLAYS
00:08MUSIC PLAYS
00:10MUSIC PLAYS
00:12MUSIC PLAYS
00:14MUSIC PLAYS
00:16MUSIC PLAYS
00:18MUSIC PLAYS
00:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:24Hello and welcome to the best of the two journeys,
00:26late night Locken!
00:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:34Now, there were so many great moments from the last series,
00:37who can forget Margot Robbie giving Johnny B a piggyback?
00:40Ah, or the time we bet Ronaldo on headers and volleys!
00:42Yeah, Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter,
00:44remember they did that acoustic version of the guy to scam the rat?
00:47That's right!
00:48But it tells you just how good tonight's show is,
00:50cos none of them made the highlight reel!
00:53LAUGHTER
00:55All right, let's take a look at what did make the cut.
00:57Roll that ten!
00:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:02Now, it's time to find out who's in the bar!
01:05WHERE IN THE BAR!
01:07Who's in the bar?
01:08WHERE IN THE BAR!
01:10I don't know how I learned how to do this,
01:11but I can balance things on my nose and my face.
01:14I can balance pretty much...
01:16pretty much anything, I think.
01:17On your face?
01:18Yeah.
01:19That's showbiz.
01:20So now, now.
01:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:24You ready?
01:26Count the three!
01:28One!
01:29Two!
01:30Three!
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:33I put one ear in first.
01:44Oh, my God!
01:46And then another one.
01:48But this is where the real trick happens.
01:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:52LAUGHTER
01:53That's amazing!
01:56That's amazing!
01:57PEAK PODY CLOCK
01:58I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:03I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:05I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:08I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:10I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:14PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:15Yeah!
02:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:22Jesus, lads!
02:23What do you say that?
02:24Can you do that?
02:25I don't want to put you on the spot.
02:26I don't know!
02:27We'll see.
02:28Watch your record, lads.
02:29Yeah!
02:30All right, here we go.
02:31What am I bloody down here?
02:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:35What am I bloody..."
02:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:38Yeah!
02:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:47WHOOW!
02:52WHOOW!
02:59How are you, Stacy?
03:01CHEESAR
03:03I just can't beat both, I can't beat both!
03:27You yourself almost had a career as a pop star.
03:30I did audition for a boy band for Louis Walsh.
03:33Yeah, well, how'd it go?
03:35Yeah, not great.
03:37It was in the pod in Dublin, do you remember the pod?
03:39Yeah, yeah.
03:40They called my name up and I'm starting to sing
03:42I can show you the world from Aladdin.
03:44Right, good song choice!
03:46What song choice?
03:50I don't know.
03:52And do you know what, I started to, I was like...
03:55I started and went, I'm in trouble.
03:58So afterwards anyway, Louis kept going to me,
04:01I'm going to put you in a band, I'm going to put you in a band.
04:03I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, cool.
04:05I'm getting all brilliant.
04:06After that audition, he took me outside and says,
04:08maybe not this band, but I'm definitely going to work with you in something.
04:11I was like, alright, brilliant.
04:12Thank God, I thought I really messed that up.
04:14He's like, yeah, yeah, no, we'll get you in something,
04:15I really want to do something with you.
04:16I was like, brilliant.
04:17He said, now, we have to get something done with them ears.
04:19What?
04:20We have to get something done with them ears.
04:21What?
04:22We have to get something done with them ears.
04:24You have ears?
04:25Yeah, and I was like, I was looking and going, I'm only 16.
04:28Yeah.
04:29Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
04:30Yeah, sure.
04:31So I went home and I was saying to me ma, I was saying,
04:33he said I have to get something done with my ears.
04:34I was thinking me ma would say like, cheeky bastard.
04:36Yeah, yeah.
04:37And then me ma turned around and says, do you want to get something done with them?
04:40I was like, what the fuck is wrong with me ears?
04:45Last week in York, there was a man playing with himself up in the stalls of the show.
04:50I know, I was thrilled.
04:51Yeah.
04:54I was absolutely delighted.
04:56I was like, shut up.
04:59Was he hot?
05:00Was he wearing a ring?
05:01What was the crack?
05:02Because that just never happened.
05:03But he was like having a little, now, I was fed, I didn't know how,
05:07he was having a little go of himself, I'd say.
05:09What happened?
05:10He wasn't having a full...
05:11Right.
05:12You know what I mean?
05:13It wasn't full of pepper shit.
05:14No, it was like...
05:17Yeah.
05:18It was, it was a little sprinkling.
05:20Would you say a little sprinkling of sorts?
05:22A fondle?
05:23A fondle.
05:24It's like he was playing three blind mice on himself.
05:26Because then I didn't know.
05:28Well, anyway, I saw the footage of it and it was quite innocent in the end.
05:31Okay.
05:32It wasn't the compliment I thought it was.
05:33Ah, right.
05:34Yeah.
05:35But when he was removed, you just went and I was like, that's not that hot.
05:38You should have fought for me.
05:39Do you know what I mean?
05:40I'm like, I want to stay and finish because she's still hot.
05:43I just left.
05:44So that's the closest thing I've had.
05:46What kind of commitment is that?
05:47I think I'm seeing him now.
05:48I think we're going to date.
05:51True or false, were you the only boy in an all-girls school?
05:54True, yeah.
05:55True.
05:56Why?
05:57Why?
05:58What?
05:59I don't know.
06:00I didn't make up the rules.
06:02Not with me, folks.
06:03I think they just left it so long to put me into a school that there was no, in our local area,
06:08there was no places left, right?
06:10Yeah.
06:11So they had to just get, you have to go to school.
06:13It's law.
06:14Yeah.
06:15And eventually the only school that would take me was the girls' school.
06:18So I went in.
06:19So I spent the first seven years of my school with all girls.
06:22In my class and everything.
06:23We have a picture of you here.
06:25Yeah.
06:35Very overdressed for a Monday.
06:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:38That was just what I wore to school, you know?
06:40I look like a little cult leader in that, don't I?
06:43It's like all these little miniature wives that this little cult leader has.
06:47Looking back on it, I was like, no one's going to want to touch me.
06:50Well, I was wrong.
06:51I didn't know it blew up.
06:53And then I tweet Putin and it was the worst thing ever.
06:56You tweeted who?
06:58Putin.
06:59Vladimir Putin.
07:00I tweeted...
07:01What did you say to him?
07:03I said, hey bro, how much did you pay them?
07:06He's here tonight making that.
07:10I'm not laughing.
07:15Sorry, it came for a year or two after that.
07:16Anything about team versions I shit myself, I was like someone's just gonna stick a pen on me or something on me.
07:27And I'll have say now poison.
07:30What is your record in the long jump?
07:316.32.
07:32Six metres.
07:34times 3-2
07:35Right well the reason we're asking that is because earlier me seven smacks gave it a go
07:42We didn't know what was a good length, what was a bad length. We've got a video here of Johnny trying it. Do you want to see it?
07:49Here we go
07:54Now I just want to say I am carrying quad injury
07:57grinds a bit tight
07:59I didn't have the right runners several things. Right okay. Would you do the honors?
08:05Can we stand up? Yeah, you can reveal that
08:08Where you are there smacks got one point?
08:13Seven I'll take that pretty good
08:23Let's have a look and see how Johnny B got on
08:28Hey, he was cheating. He had really good runners on
08:31What did you get John? I did slightly better. I got 2.2
08:35What did you see you got again? 6.32 6.32. Okay, we're just going to explain that to people if we can
08:48There's five meters 6.32 here
08:57We'll have two dogs. I had two dogs. I've had a three-legged lurcher called Lola for years, and then we fostered Mick who has four legs
09:07And there they are there. Yeah, yeah, I don't know what they're doing
09:20It looks like Lola's going you gotta earn your place in this house
09:28We know at the same time that say all ye jockeys
09:30You're all in the same way room. You're all like kind of talking out together for want of a better room
09:34We're literally beside each other
09:35Can you get spicy in there like can it be
09:38Do you know what I mean? Like I'll be honest like if some lad cut me off now in a corner he'd be
09:42Yeah, there's kind of a code, right? It can get spicy. There'd be a couple of but really like we're small little
09:48lads
09:50It's kind of a morvan
09:53Don't do that again
09:55Why is samba so hard?
09:56Because it's all about like bouncing and moving your hips and your body
10:04I mean is there any music in this place?
10:07Can we get a bit of samba music?
10:09Can you explain how does it go?
10:25Could you explain the basic steps?
10:27That's actually whoever I put that song on that's very fast
10:31Right so we don't normally go that quick but they're bachicadas that you would do to that
10:35I knew it was a bachicada
10:37Classic bachicada
10:38So you close your feet
10:39Right close your feet lads I hope you all do with us
10:41Come on we all do with us
10:41Let's and girls come on
10:42Can you take a step back
10:43Everyone in the pub here we go lads
10:44Right okay listen up here we go
10:45So we close our feet and we're going to go back on our right and then left
10:48So it's literally just back back and stay up on your toes wiggling your hips
10:51So we let you go boom boom boom boom boom
10:56Right
10:56Not bad
10:57And then we'll just shake
11:01You ready for music
11:01Okay hang on hang on hang on
11:03But do you reckon we want people to learn to dance
11:07Oh you're doing it behind the bar
11:08We want people to learn to dance
11:09Yeah
11:10But there probably won't be too much samba music on in the pub in tipperary
11:13Yeah
11:13Okay
11:14So can we do this to a song that you might hear in a pub in Ireland
11:16Well we can make a walk
11:17Okay
11:19Let's go
11:44Okay well seeing as you are the only real pro presenter here you do live television all the time
11:48You do live television all the time. Would you read the autocue and throw it to the link for us?
11:52I would love to. Where am I going down here?
11:53You see the screens at the top here? Here we go.
11:55Okay, we have got a camera on the streets of Waterford where everyone...
11:58Oh, you absolutely...
12:04In your own time, let's give her a chance.
12:05Do we...
12:07We...
12:13Go on, say it, say it, say it, say it, say it, say it!
12:18We've got a camera on the streets of Waterford where everyone smells of cabbage and I'd never go there
12:24because they're all sod-busting, blah-eating, bog monsters and Limerick.
12:27To know what it is, it's way better. Also, I love the two audience and their fair glass!
12:36The two Johnnies, not the two audience.
12:38Thank you, thank you.
12:39Wow, and Wyrm wrote that herself before she came up.
12:43Let's have another game of Irish or Aussie. Let's head back to Coogee Beach in Sydney.
12:47Oh, it feels like home in a way, doesn't it?
12:50Doesn't it even just buzzing?
12:52Right, so just by looking at somebody...
12:54Who's this lad?
12:54Are they Irish or are they Australian?
12:58This lad looks so scared. Get in on him.
13:02Get in on him.
13:03Oh, he's got budgie!
13:04Okay, don't say Anthony, man, you're live on television, nod your head if you're up for playing a game.
13:10I think he's got a big Irish head in him, but he's Australian from the neck down.
13:13Yeah!
13:16If that's at all possible.
13:17Joanne, what do you reckon?
13:18I agree with you, the pants aren't, there's no Irish man to wear those pants.
13:22But he does have an Irish head. I'm confused.
13:26Audience, what do you reckon? Irish or Aussie?
13:30Okay, what's your name, mate, and where are you from?
13:31Joanne from Ireland.
13:36We've got a game that we're calling We Aren't Family.
13:39Yeah, so we've got a camera out in the streets of Galway where all the members of the family
13:43are dancing to the same tune, but here's the catch.
13:45One person isn't in the family. Your job is to spot the imposter.
13:49Okay.
13:50Okay, all right, let's go live to Galway.
13:53Okay, here we go.
13:55Lads, we've got the DeSantis family.
13:57I feel like I know already.
14:00From one to six, straight away.
14:02Roddy, you're looking at them, who do you think is not in the family?
14:04Yeah, they're all a family, bar one.
14:10That fella number two, he looks a bit wrong.
14:15Andrew, what do you reckon, Andrew?
14:16Eh, number three, because he looks too happy.
14:21No family's that happy.
14:22Yeah.
14:23Okay, Karen, what do you reckon?
14:24Oh, now you're going close, it's hard.
14:25Yeah.
14:26No, so that's, they look the image.
14:28Yeah.
14:28That fella on the end looks like he's just being plumped there.
14:31It could be him, right.
14:33He looks like awkward.
14:35They say the rhythm is in the genes, so let's find out.
14:37We'll get them dancing, let's see.
14:39Is this live?
14:40Yeah, this is live in Galway, yeah.
14:42Okay, right, hit the music.
14:49Oh, I'm taking number four.
14:53Who do you reckon?
14:56It's amazing, number four is dancing with his toe.
14:58I'll tell you what, say it not, because we'll find out after the break.
15:24We'll find a friend that she knows all the way.
15:28When I'm flat with a mutton party hikes, I'm betting for this thing.
15:32We are family, we'll never fight in the sand.
15:40We are family.
15:43Hey, hey, hey, hey.
15:45Hey.
15:46Welcome back to the Two Johnny's Late Night Lock-In.
15:52Now, before the break, we've seen the DeSantos family on the streets of Galway,
15:56but one person wasn't actually part of the family, John.
15:59Yes, let's go back to Galway and see lads.
16:01Right, looking at the screens.
16:02Who do we think is not part of the family, lads?
16:04What do you reckon?
16:04What number?
16:05Six.
16:06Six.
16:08What are we saying?
16:09Okay, okay, moment of truth.
16:10Moment of truth.
16:11We think it's number four.
16:12Some people are saying number six.
16:14Would the real imposter please step forward?
16:25Okay, number four.
16:27What's your name and how do you know the family or have you ever met them before?
16:30My name's Cian and I have no idea who these people are.
16:35Put your hands together and a big thank you to everybody on the streets of Galway.
16:38We're raising children not to play outside because it's too dangerous.
16:57Don't let them play outside.
16:58Why?
16:58Well, in case they discover exploration, independence, problem solving,
17:02resilience and essential fucking adult skills.
17:04And ironically, leaving them indoors with the iPad,
17:07where the paedophiles actually live, by the way, on the internet.
17:13So we find ourselves in an environment.
17:17I learned this recently.
17:19Ireland has a navy.
17:21We have seven boats, lads.
17:27Oh, the dictators of the world are shitting themselves now, aren't they, huh?
17:31We have seven ships, seven vessels.
17:33And their job is to go around the island, to go around the island.
17:38Now, I don't know if they go up the north, right?
17:40I haven't Googled it yet, right?
17:44So they go three quarters around the island, right?
17:48Or up the...
17:48I'm a cross-community comedian.
17:50Pick your side, lads, right?
17:52And their job, and I didn't know this,
17:54when I go to bed at night on my lovely warm pillow,
17:56there's men and women, out there, on the water,
18:01away from their own families,
18:03four or five weeks at a time, protecting our country.
18:05They're away from their own families, riding each other.
18:11Oh, they're all at it, just like the guards and the teachers.
18:21Oh, they love...
18:22Oh, they live out in the Atlantic Ocean.
18:24They love it like.
18:28And they're away from...
18:29They're away from...
18:30Away from their own families, protecting our country.
18:33And I'm at home.
18:33And these people will never let us down if we ever get invaded.
18:37But only in Ireland would this happen.
18:39That one day, on the news,
18:40the government announced to the rest of the world
18:43that five of the ships were broken.
18:47What sort of a country announces to the rest of the world
18:51that their first line of defence
18:54is broken?
18:55Keep your mouth shut, lads!
18:58Tell them you have a hundred boats and say nothing, right?
19:02I know the UK have a policy to stop the boats.
19:04In Ireland, we can't even feckin' start ours.
19:06Like, you know?
19:07This is the weirdest RT show I have ever done, ladies and gentlemen.
19:18And I just recently did High Road, Low Road for RT1.
19:21Did anybody see it?
19:22Yeah, if anybody see it...
19:22Okay, you flick a coin.
19:23Two percentage flick a coin.
19:24One person gets the High Road, the high-end, five-star experience.
19:27The other person gets the Low Road, the shite experience.
19:30High Road, Low Road.
19:31Colin Murphy and I went to Poland.
19:32Colin Murphy got front row tickets to a Coldplay concert.
19:36Backstage passes and a chance to chat to Chris Martin one-on-one for 25 minutes.
19:41And I got to High Road.
19:47Stayed at home.
19:50Didn't chat to Coldplay.
19:52I am single at the minute.
19:55Oh, yes, meet me at the bar afterwards.
19:58But I think I know why I'm single now.
20:00I think I figured it out.
20:01I think it's because I like to think I can change a man.
20:05Yes, the girls over here as well.
20:07We love a little bit of a project, don't we?
20:09You know the way some men like to fix cars?
20:12Well, I like to fix men.
20:15I'll look for something on the verge of breaking down and I'll be like, come here to me.
20:20And then I'll spend two years under that thing making sure it's road-worthy.
20:25Don't worry guys, as a comedian, you're in safe hands with me.
20:27I'm very woke. Unbelievable.
20:30Unbelievable.
20:31Like even when it comes to the old LGBTQTA, I've got a best friend for every letter.
20:36I do.
20:38I've got a best friend for every...
20:39Like lesbian, that's my friend Jyvonne.
20:41Like G, that's my friend Brian.
20:43Like T-trance, that's my friend Jyvonne again.
20:45She's great.
20:46She covers a load of letters from me actually.
20:50She's on the reel that one, she's great.
20:53She doesn't cover asexually at the end, people who don't want to have sex.
20:56But my wife sorts that one out, so it's fine.
20:58You learn a lot when you become a dad, the breastfeeding and all that.
21:08I remember the very first time ever experiencing it.
21:10I was there with my wife, she was trying to feed the baby, it wasn't really working.
21:14I didn't realise, I thought it just would work all the time, you know.
21:16And God bless the nurses and nurse came into the room and grabbed my wife's breast
21:21and my son's head with the elegance of a builder, you know.
21:26Like picking an extension lead out of a puddle.
21:28I'll get it to work, don't worry.
21:31And now I kind of thrive on the awkwardness, you know, I love it.
21:36My wife's dad was coming to visit when we had the baby and I could see by the walk on the man
21:41when he walked into the living room that he was going to go for a kiss with the baby.
21:46And I also knew his daughter was feeding the baby.
21:53So I could have stopped him.
21:57But I was bored out of my mind, you know.
22:00I said, ah, this will be good.
22:02And fair play to him, he must have known when he got to there, but he kept going all the way down.
22:06It was so awkward.
22:07And then he tried to make a joke about it, which is something I wouldn't recommend,
22:10to be quite honest with you.
22:12Because the joke he went for that evening, right, was,
22:15leave some for me, you greedy little shit.
22:20Go ahead, lads, yeah.
22:21We haven't seen him since, you know.
22:24Am I the only fucker that can see the obvious link
22:27between the decline of drinking alcohol and the rise of celibacy?
22:31It's fucking obvious.
22:35Siobhan and Noel, I don't know how long you've been together.
22:3924 years, right?
22:40We don't even need to check, right?
22:41Unless you're Muslim or a recovering addict, Noel,
22:44you were off your tits the first time you got it on with Siobhan.
22:47There is no, there is no, there is no other way, there is no, there is, sorry.
22:59Guaranteed, well.
23:05Well, we know.
23:09Well, now that's guaranteed then, I know.
23:11We don't even need to check, Noel.
23:12Do not confirm, I know for a fact.
23:14You wouldn't even be here tonight.
23:16You never would.
23:18Were it not for alcohol, you would not have been created.
23:21There'd be an empty space.
23:22There'd be no rose.
23:24Noel would have had to get to the point where I'd go,
23:25I could see two of you.
23:26Can I smash one of you?
23:28It would have been something like that.
23:31Wouldn't it?
23:32It's bang on.
23:33That's it.
23:34Put your chips on my back, Noel.
23:35That's it.
23:38I can feel the vinegar on my Chinese tattoo.
23:42Thank you very much.
23:43Good evening.
23:47Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for one of the greatest quizzes of all time.
23:50It's...
23:51The Parish Quiz!
23:53I also heard you're a lifeguard, you're a qualified lifeguard.
23:59Yeah, technically yeah, but I can't swim.
24:14Right, so you're a lifeguard and you can't swim.
24:17You're aware of what lifeguards do.
24:21How did you qualify?
24:23Erm, I did a class in school with about 20 other people,
24:26and I was the only one that failed.
24:28And they felt bad, so they passed me.
24:32I'll tell you one thing, Dean, if I'm ever in the river lab,
24:34please, please, just offer me a suit instead or something.
24:37What are you up to yourself?
24:38Oh, doing a bit of milking, doing a bit of nursing.
24:41Bit of milking, a bit of nursing.
24:42Bit of nursing, bit of milking, yeah.
24:44The two ends of it, you know.
24:47Are you a nurse?
24:49Trying, I'm in my...
24:50You've thought you'd be a nurse.
24:51I only dropped out once, and I didn't drop out this past two years,
24:54so I'm doing well now.
24:55Should get on to Dean's teacher, he'll definitely pass it.
25:00And who are you milking?
25:01All right, who are you looking for?
25:03Who are you milking for?
25:07Pat Callum, he's a fellow up the road from me, so.
25:10Right.
25:10Milking there nearly five years, so.
25:12Now, we heard you had an interest in the other roles of Tralee yourself.
25:16Hey!
25:18What's this, what's going on?
25:19I know, so we're only about 40 minutes odd from Tralee at home,
25:23so we go back every year.
25:24So I recognised a few of the faces when I came in this evening,
25:26and we love it.
25:27And how do you think Caitlyn is doing?
25:29Oh, she's fab, Caitlyn's a dote, yeah.
25:30Such a good girl, she's amazing.
25:31Great answer, Roasterly answer.
25:35100%, I feel like that you're straight already.
25:40Do you have a favourite animal?
25:41I do, Snoopy the cow.
25:46Snoopy the cow, now, is Snoopy the cow just your favourite, or is it a pet, or what?
25:49Oh, it's a pet, yeah, no, she, as a calf and a heifer,
25:53she used to snoop into her pockets to see what she could find,
25:57usually sweets or something, you know, something good.
26:01So that's why she got the name, Snoopy.
26:03Way over there to her favourite, there's a lot of money in there.
26:05There's none of that, Johnny.
26:09And representing us is Jake Kylie, how are you, Jake?
26:11Too bad, no, not too bad.
26:13Well, Jake, how are you getting on, man?
26:15Wrecked.
26:15What, how's your ex?
26:18A fair long way up, mate.
26:19LAUGHTER
26:21We're up here every week, man, come on!
26:23Yeah, you could stay home, we'd see each other as well, mate.
26:26LAUGHTER
26:28Kicking off with John in Ross Lurie, here's your question.
26:30Hi, Johnny, congratulations on becoming the third Johnny.
26:35Just to ask you, who was the captain of the St Mary's adult team
26:39that won the Junior B Championship, and here's his mother.
26:43It's a mirage!
26:53LAUGHTER
26:55Sorry, the man asking the question is standing right there.
26:56LAUGHTER
26:58And then the mother is there.
26:59LAUGHTER
27:01You obviously recognise that woman.
27:03Yeah, I do, yeah.
27:04Who is it?
27:04Who is it?
27:05It's Mammy.
27:06LAUGHTER
27:08Wait, the woman in the video is your mother?
27:10Yeah.
27:10OK, so the answer to the question is...
27:12My brother, James Lynch.
27:14LAUGHTER
27:16So I know if you're right.
27:19And the answer is...
27:20James Lynch.
27:21CHEERING
27:22Munder Connacht, we're back to you, let's have your next question.
27:28Well, Amy, Conor here. I'm with the two Fergals.
27:33You're with the two Johnnies.
27:34Munder Connacht last won the Junior Championship in 1976 against Bania.
27:39Our question for you today is...
27:42Whose cows are those?
27:43LAUGHTER
27:46Whose cows are they out the back of the GE airfield?
27:48Right. It is own Brodie's cows.
27:52Own Brodie's cows.
27:53Yes.
27:53Right, well, let's find out if you're right.
27:55And the answer is...
27:57The Brodie's.
27:58CHEERING
27:59APPLAUSE
28:02Tyg, we're starting with Nurnie. Here we go. Here's your question.
28:05Hi, Tyg. Gillian here from The Shop.
28:07Can you tell us which local farmer sells us these potatoes?
28:13No, Tyg. That's Gillian from The Shop.
28:17No need for first names. The Shop.
28:19I like how you roll in Nurnie, man.
28:22Too much hardship to name The Shop.
28:24It's just The Shop.
28:26Who produces them spuds?
28:27Eh...
28:28Jeez.
28:29John Byrne.
28:30John Byrne.
28:31OK.
28:32All right.
28:32John Byrne, you see.
28:34Let's find out if you're right.
28:35And the answer is The Burns.
28:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:40Well done, well done.
28:41I'm tight. I'm tight. I'm tight. I'm tight.
28:44I'm tight. I'm tight.
28:44I'm tight. I'm tight.
28:45I'm tight.
28:46I'm tight.
28:47I'm tight.
28:49OK, Aisling.
28:49Let's go back to Khalidi for your next question.
28:53Hi, Aisling.
28:54Margaret and Mike here.
28:55We're here in The Shop in Nahida.
28:57And Margaret has a question for you.
29:00Aisling, what year did my mother open The Shop?
29:02Oh, that is Khalidi's Posh and Bex, Margaret and Mike.
29:10Oh, God.
29:11In what year did Margaret's mother open The Shop?
29:14Oh, like, I think it's The 50s.
29:16I'm between 53 and 54.
29:19Go on, give it a go.
29:1954?
29:211954?
29:22OK, let's go back to Dexter's Laboratory and find out.
29:25And the answer is 1953.
29:31Oh!
29:34Sugar.
29:36Unlucky, unlucky.
29:40Jake, you ready?
29:41Just to go up now.
29:43Let's go to the Premier County for your next question.
29:48Hi, Jake.
29:50Andy here with Firmer Cool's two hounds.
29:53But last Thursday evening, this hound here, Pepe, had a big birthday party in Palmuca.
29:58Your father was there with many others.
30:00He had a cheesecake.
30:01The lads had a sponge cake.
30:03But what age was Pepe?
30:07OK, the question is, the question is, what age was Pepe the dog last week?
30:11I wouldn't invite it.
30:12I didn't even get to collect the fatter that night.
30:19That dog's fair old.
30:2316?
30:25That's a fair age.
30:26Let's go back to Andy and find out if you're right.
30:28I, Jake, I hope you got it right or you'll be in trouble the next evening.
30:32But Mr Pepe celebrated his 16th birthday.
30:35It's a draw, lads, which means we need a tiebreaker.
30:43Right, can we get Davey Russell to give us a hand with this tiebreaker?
30:45Davey Russell.
30:46Well, you see, you're not from those parishes, Davey.
30:55I'm not.
30:571953 and 1954, do you know what I mean?
31:00OK, lads, so our question is, Davey Russell, champion jockey.
31:06All his life had to be on top of his weight in order to race.
31:09Our question is, now he's retired, what weight is he?
31:13You don't have a weight in time.
31:14You have a weight, kids.
31:15No, please.
31:16Tyg and Nerney to the nearest KG.
31:19What weight would you say, Davey?
31:20He's laying a mutton down, it's pretty good.
31:23What's your looking, Tyg?
31:25His whole height, his hind quarters are...
31:28Have a good look at him now.
31:30What, what would you put on him, Tyg?
31:33Eh...
31:34Shhh...
31:3688 KG.
31:3988 KG.
31:40What's that in all money?
31:42I don't know.
31:43I don't know what that is in all money, yeah, 88 KG.
31:45Ashley?
31:45Oh, it's pure, sat in the deck, I'd say 85 KG.
31:49OK, she's meant for the less than 85.
31:52Well, here's the moment of the truth, Davey jump in that room.
31:54We're back in the weigh room.
31:56Oh, I mean, like, weight or without clothes?
31:58We'll be back after the break.
32:01We'll be back after the break.
32:03We'll leave on the clothes.
32:04Oh, I'll just hop up on it, she'll work away.
32:05Will she?
32:06Yeah, OK.
32:07Including the boots...
32:08..88 KG, which means Tyg is the winner.
32:13Now, here is the moment to choose, OK?
32:26In one of these envelopes is an all-expenses-paid trip to Las Vegas.
32:30Now, also in there, OK, is a bag of spuds from the shop.
32:41Which envelope are you going to take, Tyg?
32:43What's it going to be in one of them is the trip to Vegas,
32:45and the other is the bag of spuds?
32:46We're going with this one.
32:47You're going with that one closest to you, OK?
32:48Tyg, open her up and let us know.
32:50Dead right, bless yourself.
32:52I will be fingers crossed for you, Tyg.
32:53Hold it up to the camera, what have you got?
32:54What's it going to be?
32:55I bag this spuds.
32:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:59Let's give it up for Tyg and Ashley.
33:25Now, ladies and gentlemen, you may not know this,
33:39and we don't like to bring it up too often, but...
33:41Tip one, the All-Ireland.
33:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:45Whoa-ho, take that, Carol.
33:47LAUGHTER
33:49And tonight, in the bar, is a very important guest.
33:52Can I make my way down, please, if you don't mind, ladies and gentlemen?
33:54Sorry, how are you?
33:56What's your name?
33:57You're not our guest, but thank you.
33:58LAUGHTER
33:59I'm not you and the Kenny Jersey Island, lads.
34:01Because if you don't mind, right here behind you all,
34:03all evening has been...
34:04The Liam McArthur!
34:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:09Yes!
34:11Now...
34:12Tipperary, we're lucky enough to win it this year,
34:16but only ten counties have ever won the Hurling All-Ireland Championship
34:20and had the chance to climb those hallowed steps
34:22and make the famous speech.
34:24So we thought we'd let some counties
34:26who have never won the All-Ireland...
34:28LAUGHTER
34:29Some people here in the audience might like to lift it.
34:32Like, I see a whole mix of jerseys.
34:34Where are you guys from?
34:35Baltimore, America.
34:36Baltimore have never won it.
34:38LAUGHTER
34:39Right.
34:40Say, for example, is there anyone here from Tyrone?
34:44Yeah.
34:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:47OK, let's go.
34:48Have a chat.
34:51This should go well, I think.
34:54OK, who's from Tyrone?
34:55Hooray!
34:57Tyrone have never won the Liam McArthur, have they?
34:59That's right, I know.
35:00Well, would you like the chance now to lift the cup and make a speech?
35:02Cheers, I'd love it, eh.
35:03OK, now...
35:04Are you ready, so, in your own time, ready?
35:06Ooh...
35:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:09Who would you like to thank?
35:13Cheers, I'd like to thank my whole family
35:15and all the good people at Tirlikin.
35:17Especially my Uncle Rodney Kelly, a big inspiration for me.
35:20LAUGHTER
35:22No, this is... this is unbelievable.
35:24Never thought I'd lift this thing in my life.
35:26LAUGHTER
35:27Thanks very much.
35:28Give it up for Tyrone, everybody!
35:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:32Back to you, Johnny Smacks.
35:35Thank you, John.
35:36Now, as Johnny B said,
35:37only ten counties have won the Lee McCarty Cook.
35:40One of those counties haven't won it since 1998.
35:43I am, of course, talking about Offaly.
35:46Neil, do you remember the summer of 1998?
35:49Shut your face!
35:51LAUGHTER
35:52Yes, it was brilliant.
35:53Absolutely brilliant.
35:54First team to be knocked out and still win it
35:56when it got in the back door.
35:57Yeah.
35:58The way all Offaly people like to do it.
35:59LAUGHTER
36:01That sounded weird when I was telling you it too.
36:03LAUGHTER
36:04I'm from Rosgray, so, right on the border.
36:06Yeah, occupied Offaly.
36:07Yeah, yeah.
36:08LAUGHTER
36:09So, you know, I'm always kind of giving Offaly a ribbon,
36:11but I think it's time that, you know, we get the Lee McCarty
36:14or we'll give it to an Offaly man.
36:15Oh, yes, please.
36:16I think it's only fair, Lance.
36:17Would you like to see Neil Delamere lift the Lee McCarty Cup?
36:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:21I don't know about this.
36:22For the bite of Offaly.
36:24Come on, what about Carol?
36:25Oh, no, no, no.
36:27LAUGHTER
36:28I don't know if I can do this, John.
36:30There's a good chance...
36:31There's a good chance I may not be able to show my face
36:33around Rosgrave for a while, but Neil Delamere,
36:35you've surely practised this in the mirror as a young fella.
36:37No, I knew I was so shy, I didn't get anyone here.
36:40LAUGHTER
36:41I'd like to thank my uncle, Rodney Kelly.
36:43LAUGHTER
36:44He moved down from Tyrone and this is why we won.
36:48Can I do the speech I would make?
36:50Oh, lads, it's, listen, it's customary in this position
36:53we want to say hip-hip-a-ray to the losing team.
36:56LAUGHTER
36:57But it was Kilkenny and you can't beat those fuckers by enough, so...
37:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:05LAUGHTER
37:08Neil, put it up, lift it up, come on.
37:10Get it up, get it up.
37:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:13Oh, blue, it is a lovely colour
37:17Till it gets the second dip
37:19That's the way with the outland's courting
37:21You'll never know when you'll take a fit
37:23Madam, I'm a darling, a diro-dither-o
37:26Oh, madam, I'm a darling, a diro-day-o
37:29Oh, madam, I have gold and silver
37:31Madam, I have tracks of land
37:33Madam, I have ships in the ocean
37:36All I'm missing is a fine young man
37:38Madam, I'm a darling, a diro-dither-o
37:40Oh, madam, I'm a darling, a diro-dither-o
37:41Oh, madam, I'm a darling, a diro-dither-o
37:43Oh, going to the well for water
37:45Washing it around for it to make some tea
37:47He fell over, I fell under
37:49All of the game was above, didn't he?
37:51Madam, I'm a darling, a diro-dither-o
37:53Oh, madam, I'm a darling, a diro-dither-o
37:55Oh, madam, I'm a darling, a diro-dither-o
37:57Oh, madam, I'm a darling, a diro-dither-o
37:59Oh, madam, I'm a darling, a diro-dither-o
38:03If you want, you can tie it further
38:05Madam, I'm a darlin' a di-ro-di
38:07Oh, madam, I'm a darlin' a di-ro-di-ro
38:10Oh, madam, I'm a darlin' a di-ro-di
38:12Oh, madam, I'm a darlin' a di-ro-di-ro
38:15Oh, madam, I'm a darlin' a di-ro-di
38:22So, you can match the personality of an animal
38:28to what kind of person they should be with.
38:30It's not date or relate again with animals, is it?
38:32It kind of is
38:34We're back to leash
38:36There's two Jack Russells
38:38We're wondering if you could describe
38:40We've got an animal here for you
38:42Yeah, this is Goujon, who is a five-year-old golden retriever
38:45I mean, what kind of person owns a Goujon?
38:48Well, the person who should own a golden retriever
38:51is someone that likes to walk and someone who's active
38:53because a lot of dogs are rehomed
38:54because people get a cockapoo and they live in a fucking flat
38:57in Dublin or something
38:58So I would think a quite active person that likes walking
39:01Yeah, we've got another dog for you here
39:03Yeah
39:04This is Ted Hastings
39:05who's a four-year-old golden doodle
39:07Yeah
39:08You know, what kind of a person owns him?
39:10Well, that would probably be an old lady or an elderly gay man
39:13Great, we can tell you there are two dogs
39:18Nailed it
39:20Well, the question is, which Johnny owns which dog?
39:24Ooh
39:26Who's been doing more walking?
39:29It's impossible to tell, isn't it?
39:32Golden retriever
39:34Yeah
39:35That's my Goujon
39:36Yeah, golden doodle
39:37I am, of course
39:38He's going to one, he's going to one
39:39He's going to one
39:40I am, of course, an heavenly gamer
39:43Hello, Ash
39:44Yeah
39:45So we have a series of pictures which show you at your absolute peak
39:48so we thought we'd play a game
39:49Are you up for this?
39:50Yeah
39:51OK, it's called Game Face
39:53where you have to tell us which event you are participating in
39:56just going from your facial expressions
39:58Right
39:59Let's have a look at your first picture
40:02It has to be long jump
40:04because I always put the worst faces to a long jump, surely
40:07You reckon it's long jump?
40:08If I do that in any other event, that's really about to say
40:10OK
40:11Let's find out if it is long jump
40:18Always worst photos
40:19Always
40:20Let's have a look at another photo, Cain
40:23Now
40:24I know it instantly
40:25Could have been a really big curry
40:27What do you reckon, Cain?
40:32It has to be the shot put
40:33The shot put
40:34It has to be
40:35This is me trying to do maths
40:36It has to be
40:37Right, let's find out if it is the shot put
40:40It is
40:41Yay!
40:46Let's have one more, let's have a look
40:47OK
40:48Erm
40:49I know it again, it's long jump
40:50It has to be like
40:51OK, let's have a look
40:52Is it the long jump?
40:53It has to be
40:54It is you long jumping over the lift
41:00So, we are going to show you some pictures
41:02This is the view you would have had
41:04when you were riding these horses winning races
41:06Did I? Are these horses that I rode?
41:07Yes
41:08OK
41:09So let's have a look at horse number one
41:11No way
41:12No way
41:13No way
41:14No way
41:15I didn't ride that horse
41:16It has a double bridle on
41:18No way
41:19So
41:20You did?
41:21That's one of yours?
41:22That's one of yours
41:23That's one of yours
41:24Yeah
41:25There is no denying it now
41:26I know they don't all look the same when you see the photos
41:29That's one of yours
41:33That's one of yours
41:34They don't all look the same from behind Davey
41:36Right Davey, look
41:38You rode this horse, who is it?
41:40Sam Crow
41:41It's Max
41:42Well Davey, let's find out if you're right
41:44It is Sam Crow
41:46Yay
41:47That's amazing
41:49OK, we've got another one
41:51OK Davey, here's a look at horse number two
41:54No, that is, that is, I would say a harder one
42:00Very hairy
42:02No, I
42:05No, you did
42:07These are
42:08They're all horses
42:09We know you did
42:10They're all horses you rode
42:11Right
42:12I
42:13I
42:14I don't know that horse, no
42:15Take a guess
42:16If it's
42:17Field or
42:19It's not
42:20Irish Point
42:21Oh, good horse
42:22Yeah
42:23It was my last winner
42:25Yeah
42:26Yeah, your last winner
42:27Yeah, it was my last winner
42:28Yeah, good horse him
42:29OK
42:30He can't hear you
42:31Let's have a look at one more
42:32One more, one more
42:33One more
42:34Ah, the man himself, is it?
42:36What are you saying?
42:37What are you saying?
42:38Is that the tiger?
42:39It is tiger oil
42:40Yeah
42:45What is he?
42:46Good horse
42:47Good horse
42:48Good horse
42:49Your man still gives out about your fashion choices from time to time
42:52Is it fair to say she's trolling you a bit?
42:54When I'm...
42:55She is my ultimate troll
42:56I had to ban her from texting me when I'm live on television
42:59Because it was
43:01Oh, state of your hair
43:02Jesus
43:03Bit heavy with the makeup
43:04Bit heavy with the makeup this morning
43:06Do you think that...
43:07Do you think that shirt is right?
43:08Oh my god, are you pregnant?
43:09Did you forget to tell me?
43:10And this is just...
43:11Wait, in the middle of the show?
43:12In the middle of the show?
43:13In the middle of...
43:14Like it will start at 7 and it will not stop until 10
43:16So I had to ban her
43:17We have some of the messages that your mam has sent you
43:19Oh no...
43:21She's got...
43:22This is for you
43:23The hair is...
43:24The hair is a big page
43:25Can't see your face with your hair
43:26With your hair
43:27Yeah
43:28So this is in the middle of the show
43:2911.40 in the morning
43:3020 to 8
43:31I've been on air for 40 minutes
43:33We have another one here
43:34Hair lovely but you're very pale
43:36Very pale
43:38It's not the time, Mary
43:40We're living in different times, girl
43:41Mary is on fire at 8.19
43:43We've got another one here
43:44Hate that blouse mirror
43:45Bin bin
43:46Bin bin
43:49And I think this is my personal favourite
43:51Love your jumper
43:52TV3 keep showing your spanks
43:54We've wondered like what it's like to get hit by a...
43:58Professional boxer
43:59Yeah
44:00And thankfully Johnny B has said he's willing
44:02To get hit by a professional boxer
44:05So we...
44:06So...
44:07I mean...
44:08Would you?
44:09This one's not that potted
44:11Good, good, good
44:12Give it to him, Mick
44:13Fucking give it to him
44:14You sound like that, yeah?
44:15All right
44:16Oh
44:17Oh
44:18Oh
44:19Oh
44:20Oh
44:21Oh
44:22Oh
44:23Oh
44:24Oh
44:25Oh
44:26Oh
44:27Oh
44:28Oh
44:29Oh
44:30Oh
44:31Oh
44:32Oh
44:33Oh
44:34Oh
44:35Oh
44:36Oh
44:37Oh
44:38Oh
44:39Oh
44:40Do you want more?
44:41You hit me with your bad hand
44:42You hit me with that
44:43Yeah
44:45Appreciate that
44:46Oh
44:47Oh
44:48Oh
44:49Oh
44:50Oh
44:51Oh
44:52Oh
44:53Oh
44:58Oh
44:59Oh
45:00Oh
45:01Oh
45:02Oh
45:03Oh
45:04Oh
45:05Oh
45:06Oh
45:07Yeah, yeah, fuck you, yeah.
45:12She was actually, she was actually a maniac.
45:18All right.
45:21Let's do this.
45:28She walked her prostitutes for that night, she was dressed and killed.
45:32She was a sexy lady, she had to get her thrill.
45:35How did she get her, how did she know, all the music, the music, the music, the music.
45:38She was long for that night, she was in for a fight.
45:41She said, greetings, all the time with a new chair.
45:44All the time with a mic in the left hand, it's been all fun to preach it.
45:47Are you ready now, move to the rooms, now life, it has no meaning.
45:51Are you ready now, move to the madness of a party night to you.
45:54We bring this group to you.
45:57Are you ready now, move to the group.
46:01Put your hands up in the air.
46:02Put them up, put them up, put them up, one simple question to ask you.
46:06Are you ready?
46:08Are you ready?
46:15All right.
46:16Everything she's got present in the house tonight.
46:19Let's hear you see.
46:20She's a maniac.
46:22She's a maniac, a maniac on the floor.
46:27And she's dancing.
46:29And she's dancing like she never did before.
46:34Why do you run the two tonnies dance floor?
46:36She's a maniac, a maniac on the floor.
46:40Sing it.
46:41And she's dancing.
46:42And she's dancing like she never did before.
46:47Don't cry tonight.
47:17A huge thank you to everyone here in Swan's Bar tonight.
47:25And thank you to all of our guests throughout the series.
47:27And thank you at home for watching.
47:29Now for a very special performance from Dan McCabe playing Grace.
47:33We'll see you soon.
47:34Bye, bye, bye, bye.
47:35Bye, bye.
48:05Well all I want in this dark place
48:10Is the heart you heed with me
48:13Oh gracious hold me in your arms
48:21And let the small man to linger
48:24You'll take me out the dawn
48:28And I will die
48:31With all my love
48:36I place this wedding ring
48:39Upon your finger
48:41It won't be time
48:44To share and hold me the same
48:49Oh gracious hold me in your arms
48:58And let the small man to linger
49:01They'll take me out the dawn
49:06And I will die
49:08With all my love
49:13I place this wedding ring
49:16Upon your finger
49:18It won't be time
49:21To share and hold
49:24For we'll say goodbye
49:27It won't be time
49:32To share and hold
49:36For we'll say goodbye
49:42For we'll say goodbye
49:52Jennifer
49:57You
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