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00:00To Ireland? For God's sake, Beth, do you not listen to a thing I tell you?
00:05Of course I do. We're in the middle of a big clear art and I'm just a wee bit busy.
00:09Aye, okay. I'll come in and I'll talk you through the arrangements, but I cannot stay long.
00:16Right.
00:19You putting your Christmas tree up? It's a bit early, is it, no?
00:25Yes, well, we were up in my loft anyway, so we just thought we might as well.
00:28Oh, you see, I always follow what the church does, and they put it up twelve days before.
00:35No, you're thinking a twelfth night. That's when you take it down.
00:39Yes, a church puts theirs up on the first Sunday of December.
00:43Do they? Well, that's awful early.
00:46I think I'll have to have a word with Father Haggerty about that.
00:49I don't think it was ever up that early on Father Kowalski's day, but he really was a religious man.
00:57Where is it he is now?
00:58Be in Kew in its hill.
01:00But I don't think I'll bother putting up a tree this year, what with me not being here.
01:05What's this?
01:06I'm going to visit my cousin Devla in Ireland for Christmas, Eric.
01:10Oh, it's fantastic, Christine. It's so nice that they made contact with you.
01:14Oh, I know, Beth.
01:16And to think if Devla hadn't sent that saliva sample off to Ancestry.com, we might never have known that we were related.
01:24Imagine if she'd had a dry mouth that day.
01:30And whereabouts are they?
01:31County Galway, Eric.
01:32I've got the train to Stronra, a ferry to Larn, a bus into Belfast, and then coach down to Galway.
01:41Oh, bet you'd track that.
01:43So, will it be Devla's whole family?
01:45Oh, yes. Her husband Owens. Now, he's got his own plumbing business, so I will be looking forward to a bath. That's definitely on the list.
01:54And then there's our twin girls, Maeve and Aoife. It'll be nice to meet them, because they're actually my, what is it, my first cousins?
02:04No, no, no. Second.
02:06Oh, aye. I'm forgetting they're twins.
02:10Well, you'll have a great time, I'm sure.
02:13Oh, I hope so, Eric. I must say I'm looking forward to it.
02:17Although, it will be strange not being at home on Christmas Day.
02:22I know you're always keen to have me in here, Beth, so I do feel a bit guilty that I might be letting you down.
02:30Are you sure you're okay with me going?
02:32You're all right. You'll be fine.
02:34Well, I think it's time we get down to discussing what bag I'm taking, eh?
02:38Ah, well, the thing is, Christine...
02:41Oh, who's this interrupting us?
02:47That's not you getting your Christmas tree up already, is it, Beth?
02:52Beth?
02:53Well, it's a bit early, is it, no?
02:55Well, we were up in the loft.
02:57Do you know, just let her do it, Cobb.
02:59It'll brighten up that dingy front room.
03:01I suppose so. It's okay, Beth, that's fine.
03:04If it gives you something I'll look forward to, that's okay.
03:06Should we go in and see it?
03:08She'll be put out if we don't. Do you know what she's like?
03:11Right. We'll just come in for a minute and see it, Beth.
03:17Apparently, the cooked breakfasts on board the Stenna line are excellent.
03:24Irene up the high flats told me they serve a black pudding
03:28that is technically illegal on dry land.
03:32Ah, here he is.
03:33We elf here helping you paint your tree up, Beth.
03:36He's far too big for an elf, Cobb.
03:39And there's Christine. How you doing?
03:42Oh, not bad, Colin. That is me all booked up for Ireland for Christmas.
03:47You're going to Ireland for Christmas, are you?
03:49Oh, yes. I'm staying with my cousin Dervla in Galway.
03:53Oh, that's nice. You're not going to be here, Christine.
03:57You'll be having a bit of the black stuff over there, eh?
03:59Remember, we went to the Guinness factory when we were in Dublin, Cath.
04:02Oh, God, that place. Oh, I will not be going back there.
04:06Oh, why not?
04:07Only serve as fucking Guinness.
04:09So is this you getting outside for Christmas, then?
04:12What's the plans?
04:13Oh, well, nothing special.
04:15It's just the two of us, so just, you know, traditional.
04:19Traditional?
04:20Well, you've not made a very good start putting your tree up this fucking early.
04:24And what about you two? Do you know what you're doing?
04:26We're going to that same hotel again on Christmas Day because we quite like it, don't we?
04:30It's really festive how they decorate it all.
04:33And you get steak instead of turkey, a cocktail instead of Christmas pudding,
04:37and there's a massive smoking section out by the nativity.
04:41The problem we've got is we don't know what presents to get.
04:44Well, I'm fine just with money.
04:46No, I mean, for each other.
04:49Yeah, we're not getting you anything, Eric.
04:51See, we've already got everything, haven't we?
04:53Oh, poor you, right enough.
04:55I always get called in pants for Christmas, but I can't get any more in the drawer.
04:59No.
04:59And you can't exactly take the old ones to the charity shop, can you?
05:03No, they don't take them.
05:05Well, certainly the British Heart Foundation don't.
05:07Though Irene did tell me about a website where there seems to be quite a lot of interest.
05:14We were just going up to the charity shop once we'd finished the tree.
05:18Are you getting yourself something, Beth?
05:19Well, it is finished, really, apart from turning on the lights.
05:22OK, then, let's see the big switch on.
05:26Come on, Eric.
05:27I'll puff your fat arse.
05:31Here, Beth.
05:32This reminds me of that time we saw Marty Perlow switch on the lights in Clyde Bank.
05:37Do you remember that, Beth?
05:38I do.
05:39I'm not actually sure whether he was on the heroin at that point,
05:42because we were quite far back, you know?
05:45Right.
05:45We all ready?
05:46Aye.
05:47Yeah.
05:47Come on, Eric.
05:49Oh, my.
05:52I would.
05:53You know, you can always stop by the dump as well.
06:05Don't know how much longer I'm going to manage getting in and out of this seat, Alan.
06:09You won't start getting in the back?
06:10No, I mean, you might need to get a car or get on my insurance or something.
06:14Aye.
06:15Right, right.
06:16I'm really starting to struggle on the stairs as well.
06:19You may be sure to jump to soon.
06:24Look!
06:25Beth's got her Christmas tree up.
06:28Do you think we should go over and say a wee quick hello and see it?
06:33Nah.
06:33We've got a nice picture of us in front of the Oscar Wilde statue in Dublin, haven't we?
06:39Aye.
06:39Oh, you know, my favourite quote of his is when he was going through customs in America
06:44and he said,
06:46I have nothing to declare but my genius.
06:51Well, I preferred the statue of Morley Malone.
06:54You go up, rubber tits brings you luck.
06:56Oh, for God's sake.
06:58I did as well.
06:59We went to Temple Bar after that.
07:00We didn't get hassled by one beggar.
07:03Yeah.
07:06I'll go.
07:11Oh, hello, you two.
07:13Or should that be two and a half?
07:16She's some size new, isn't she, Eric?
07:19Train to Strenra, ferry to land, bus to Belfast, coach to Galway.
07:24My God, I need a flight to Switzerland after that.
07:27That's a proper Irish road trip, that.
07:29It is, Colin.
07:31But, you know, I now feel I've got a really deep connection to Ireland now that I know
07:36for sure that I've got Irish blood in me.
07:39If you're going to Galway, would you know me better flying to Shannon?
07:44There's that.
07:44Oh, hi, Michelle.
07:47Hi, Alan.
07:48Hi.
07:49Hello, everyone.
07:50Sorry to just appear at your door, Beth.
07:52Don't worry about that.
07:54No one else does.
07:55How are you, Michelle?
07:57Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
07:59Just so tired all the time.
08:00Oh, yeah, you do look really knackered.
08:03Come and sit down, Michelle.
08:05Come on.
08:06Yeah, there we go.
08:08Sit down, yeah.
08:10Who's you, Alan, eh?
08:11Everything all right?
08:13Aye, all right.
08:14Just back for the garage with the van.
08:16Oh, no.
08:17Something wrong with it?
08:18Somebody ran into the back of me, Eric.
08:20Oh, my God.
08:21What happened?
08:22Were you eating a sausage roll while you were driving, Alan?
08:24No, I was coming off the motorway to go through the tunnel and it was a wee jam,
08:28so I had to slow right down.
08:30Next thing I know, somebody's run into the back of me.
08:33They'd be on their phone, no doubt.
08:35Aye.
08:36And see the faucet?
08:37Mine's flew right out of my hand, under the seat.
08:39They took their time fixing it at the garage, didn't they?
08:42Yeah.
08:42Alan was late picking me up from my antenatal class.
08:45Oh, no.
08:46That's fine, Beth.
08:47You can't see the dent at all.
08:50So, anyway, how are you guys doing?
08:52How is Ian?
08:53Oh, he's fine, aye.
08:55He's coming over to have a look through his old stuff before we junk it.
08:58Are you trying to get rid of every trace of him, Eric?
09:00Have you any baby stuff, Eric?
09:02Because maybe Alan and Michelle might want that.
09:05I remember she used to have them in a lot of brown, Michelle.
09:09Eric, it's fine.
09:10I've ordered loads of stuff already, actually.
09:13You know, the wee baby grows and the jammies and the wee onesies.
09:17They're just all so cute, aren't they?
09:20Oh, they are, Michelle.
09:21Well, until they soil them.
09:24Have you made any decisions on names, Michelle?
09:26No, because we still can't seem to agree on anything, can we?
09:31But, if it's a boy, I like the name Lewis.
09:35Good Scottish name, that.
09:38I don't think it says a bit like Lewis, though, Eric.
09:41Honey, you're definitely sure you don't want to find out what you're having, Michelle?
09:45I mean, that would make it a bit easier.
09:48No, I just don't want to know.
09:50No, I'm not that interested either, Michelle.
09:54Can I get you a tea or a glass of water or something?
09:57I'd take a water off you if it's not too much trouble, Beth.
10:00What about the rest of us, Beth?
10:02I hear.
10:03Have you got any mince pies?
10:05A big cup of tea and a mince pie, I'd be nice.
10:07Well, the thing is...
10:08Why?
10:09A tea and a mince pie?
10:10I wouldn't say no.
10:11What's to the season?
10:12No, I fucking hate mince pies.
10:14Have you got the ones with the brandy in them, Beth?
10:16Well, I'll take one of them, though.
10:18No, you see...
10:19You know, I love the ones with all the cream on the top.
10:21Oh, have you tried them?
10:22Oh, I like the sound of them.
10:24Can you get any of them, Beth?
10:25I haven't got any mince pies.
10:28Aw.
10:30You cannae invite us all in here saying it's the start of Christmas
10:33and know of any Christmas stuff in for us.
10:36We didn't do that.
10:37You've got your tree up, Eric.
10:39You know, that sends a message.
10:41It's like the swingers with the pampas grass.
10:43Yes, Eric, shut your face.
10:45Is that really a thing, that, the pampas grass?
10:47I thought it was just, like, one of those things folks say.
10:49Oh, no, no, no, no.
10:51There's a couple round the new bulbs that had it
10:52and they were very, very active.
10:56Apparently.
10:57Beth, don't worry about the water, actually.
10:59I'm fine.
11:00Aye, and it makes the baby kick, then she goes on about it.
11:02Don't be daft.
11:03Of course I'll get you a glass of water
11:05and I'm happy to do teas and coffees for anyone who's wanting.
11:09I just don't have any mince pies.
11:11I mean, we were just clearing out the loft,
11:15not declaring that it was officially Christmas.
11:19I mean, I'd like to have the power to do that,
11:21but I'm afraid I don't.
11:22OK?
11:27Beth, you don't even have a wee tub of celebrations
11:31or nothing, no?
11:32A bit early with the tree, are you not?
11:50What, is it just feeling Christmassy?
11:52I wish we'd never bothered, to be honest.
11:57Quality street is what I used to get
12:00when it was just Sophie and me, you know?
12:02Oh, the green ones were my favourite.
12:05I used to love them.
12:07No, I'm not about Sophie.
12:08What ones were hers?
12:09Oh, the other ones.
12:12All right.
12:13Not like you to have a house full.
12:14Aye, son.
12:15How are you, Ian?
12:16How are you, Dad?
12:16How are you, Colin?
12:17How are you, Kathy?
12:18How are you doing, Ian?
12:19Oh, I'm fine.
12:20How are you guys?
12:20Everything OK?
12:21OK.
12:22Not really, Ian.
12:23Somebody went into the back of my van.
12:25Oh, no.
12:26I know.
12:27I just got it back today.
12:28You weren't in it at the time, were you?
12:29No.
12:30Oh, well, could have been worse.
12:31Oh, you're saying that, but that was two full days it was after odd.
12:36Anyway, how are you doing, Ian?
12:38How's Gordon?
12:39Aye, he's good.
12:40He's coming over here to meet me after college.
12:41Oh, is he still enjoying it?
12:43Oh, aye, he's loving it.
12:44I'm not loving being the only one earning, no?
12:46Oh.
12:47And you'll be in a very poor wages, is he, Ian?
12:51What did he pack his job in for anyway, Ian?
12:53Oh, basically he just wasn't happy.
12:55Oh, you see, this is the new thing, isn't it?
12:59You don't like something, you just stop doing it.
13:02Never used to be like that.
13:04No, you just kept going.
13:06That was your lot.
13:07You just had to accept it.
13:09Like you with Eric, Beth.
13:10Right, listen, you want to look through this stuff from the loft before we throw it out?
13:14All right, now.
13:15Oh.
13:16OK, where is it?
13:17I'll go and get it.
13:18So, what are you and Gordon up to for Christmas, then?
13:23Oh, just having a quiet one, to be honest.
13:25We did invite them, but they said no.
13:27Oh, Gordon's got an assignment to do over the holidays.
13:29Sort of taking over everything at the minute.
13:31And what's it on?
13:32That's the thing.
13:33He can't make up his mind.
13:34Do you think he's quite a weak person, Ian?
13:38We get rid of a lot of other stuff, but we weren't sure whether he'd want to keep any of this.
13:45God, my old laptop.
13:46I remember the year you got me this.
13:50I remember going to Curry's out at Renfrew to get it.
13:53Oh, that is a nice store, that.
13:56Me and Pat went there to get Sophie her Game Boy.
13:59That was a big present that year.
14:01Did you get her one?
14:02No, they were sold out.
14:04So I just got her a lady shave instead.
14:07And if I remember right, I think Pat got some Hoover bags.
14:12God, I can remember taking the wrapping off it.
14:14Then straight upstairs and onto the porn, eh, Ian?
14:17Ian, gay porn on Christmas Day.
14:21We didn't want to just throw it out.
14:23No, no, no.
14:23Listen, he could have some good stuff in it, Eric.
14:26Look, I'll take this, but you can get rid of the rest.
14:28Oh, are you sure?
14:29That hat and scarf set was a present as well.
14:32I don't think you've ever worn them.
14:34Ian.
14:36He was always a very ungrateful wee boy, Michelle.
14:40I remember I gave him a banana once and he just threw it behind the hut.
14:46You'll need to get your mum something decent for that this year, Ian, to make up for that.
14:51Just get her a bottle of rosé, Ian.
14:53That's what we do.
14:54She always seems genuinely quite happy.
14:56Sorry, Mum.
14:59I'll take those as well.
15:00Oh, well, if you're sure.
15:02And if you don't like them, maybe Gordon will.
15:04Yeah.
15:04He's got no fashion sense at all, Ian.
15:07I still don't understand how he's starting college at his age.
15:11I mean, is he no too old?
15:13He's a mature student.
15:15Yeah, exactly.
15:16He's a mature student.
15:17Hello.
15:26How's it going?
15:27Are we going just now or am I coming in?
15:30No, I'm coming in, aren't I?
15:31Righto.
15:33I get the train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast, coach down to Galway.
15:39That's a hootier trip, that.
15:41Alan.
15:42It's a fair way, Alan.
15:44But when it is family, it is worth all the effort.
15:47Quite right.
15:48And, you know, you'll be like Santa coming down from the North Pole to your big sack of Christmas presents.
15:54I'll know you buy them all presents, will I?
15:59Hi, Gordon.
16:00Oh, hiya, Gordon.
16:01Hi, Gordon.
16:01Gordon, what's that you've got in your head?
16:04Oh, it's my helmet.
16:05I came on my scooter.
16:07You came here by scooter?
16:09Yeah.
16:10I'll be one of those e-scooters.
16:12I don't even fancy one myself.
16:14Is that an e-scooter you've got, Gordon?
16:16No, it's just a regular one.
16:20Gordon, come here a minute.
16:22Come here.
16:27That's you.
16:28It was, er, sticking up a bit.
16:32So how's your course going, Gordon?
16:34Yeah, good.
16:35Yeah.
16:36What is it you're studying again?
16:38Sociology and literature.
16:39Oh, right.
16:40You're not bothered about getting a job after, are you?
16:42Ian says you've got an assignment to do.
16:45Oh, yeah.
16:47I haven't made up my mind what to do it on yet.
16:49It's meant to be something on cultural change, but it's such a big subject.
16:53Oh, God, yeah.
16:54What about Emmerdale going on to YouTube?
16:57I don't think that's the sort of thing Gordon's studying on his course, Christine.
17:01So it's literature you're doing, is it?
17:05Tell you a good book.
17:06What's that one I read on holiday?
17:08Oh, fuck that.
17:09You wouldn't put that down.
17:10He was reading it in bed.
17:12I know.
17:12I got right into it.
17:13So I did.
17:13I know what it was.
17:14It was Duncan Bannatine's autobiography.
17:17You read that, Gordon?
17:18Er, no.
17:19What about Maeve Benchy?
17:21You read any hers?
17:22All set in Ireland.
17:24They're not be doing Maeve Benchy books in a literature course.
17:27I know it.
17:28There's fucking tons of them.
17:31I see you've got your Christmas tree up, Mrs Bed.
17:33Well, it's awful early, is it not, Gordon?
17:37You've no good years up, have you?
17:38Well, no.
17:40It's also shit.
17:41Look at the state of it.
17:43It'll look great when you've got the rest of the decorations up.
17:48You're not seeing this, is it, are you?
17:50Well, we were having a clear out, and there was decorations there that we'd had for years.
17:54They were a bit tatty.
17:56Erm, if you throw out everything tatty, you're not going to have anything left.
18:01Aw, Beth, we've got absolutely loads of Christmas decorations if you want some, haven't we, Alan?
18:05Aye.
18:06She can't go past them in the shop without buying them.
18:08It's the same with toilet rolls.
18:10You've both got hundreds of them.
18:12Nah, no, that's very kind, Michelle.
18:14Look, we've got piles of old ones as well.
18:16Aye, you could always have mine, Beth, since I'm going to be in Ireland.
18:20Alan, are we going to get some for Beth and Eric?
18:23Michelle, no, we...
18:24Oh, honestly, Eric, it's fine. We've got way more than we've got room to put up, so...
18:28Come on, Eric, it's fucking miserable in here.
18:31Are we ready?
18:38Yes.
18:38Yeah.
18:42Yay!
18:43Yay!
18:46That's proper Christmassy now, isn't it?
18:49Well, not till we get a bottle open.
18:51What about you boys?
18:55Shh!
18:56Won't tell anyone you're driving your scooter drunk, Gordon.
18:59Em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em!
19:03Yeah, I'll take one.
19:04Is this OK with you, Michelle?
19:05Oh, yeah, you guys go ahead.
19:07I'll just stick to my water.
19:08Did you not realise that being pregnant was going to be really boring, Michelle?
19:13Is it OK if I have a lager?
19:15Of course it is, Alan.
19:17Are you just saying that now and you'll give me a row later?
19:19Or do you really mean it?
19:22I think I've got a bottle of fizz in the fridge.
19:25Woo!
19:26You know when I think it feels like Christmas is coming?
19:29When you hear the Christmas songs on the radio.
19:31Yeah, I love Christmas songs.
19:33Hey, Eric, have you got that Christmas album?
19:36Aye, I think I do.
19:37Aye, as long as you haven't even thrown it out.
19:39Yes, Eric, you big stupid donkey.
19:41So when is it you're off to Ireland, Christine?
19:44Oh, not until the 21st, Michelle.
19:48Oh, God, it's just so exciting.
19:50You're going to have such a brilliant time.
19:52We loved Dublin, didn't we?
19:53We were saying earlier, Alan,
19:55that the Guinness that you get in the Guinness factory
19:57isn't like anywhere else.
19:58Aye, it's 20 fucking euro.
20:03Aww!
20:04Oh!
20:05Hey!
20:07Oh!
20:08Right, everyone want one?
20:14Sorry, Michelle.
20:15Oh, Beth, don't worry, I'm fine.
20:17I like my water.
20:18It's all right, Michelle.
20:19You can get pissed again once the baby's here.
20:21Well, this is a bit more like it, eh?
20:23Cheers, everybody.
20:25Aye, cheers.
20:27Here, Beth,
20:29could you go and get me that wee glass I like?
20:32I don't like the way this one feels in my hand.
20:35Oh.
20:39Thanks.
20:40Yeah.
20:41I hope you won't be so fussed over on Ireland, Christine,
20:43but they'll send you back.
20:47Dad,
20:48stick it on to the next song.
20:49I can't be bothered with this one.
20:50It goes on for ages.
20:55Oh, no, no, no, Cole.
20:56No, no, no, I hate this one.
20:57Get it off.
20:57She hates this.
20:59Why do you not like it, Kathy?
21:00I don't like the sound of children singing, Gordon.
21:02No, this, this is a classic.
21:07Oh, does this one not do your head in?
21:10Would you not like it, Alan?
21:11Oh, it's all right, but you hear it everywhere you go, don't you?
21:14It is a bit ubiquitous, yeah.
21:15I'll tell you what you hear everywhere.
21:20Band-aid.
21:20Oh, it was amazing what they did with that.
21:23Oh, yes.
21:25Mm-hmm.
21:25Although, there is a bit of a backlash against it now.
21:29Against my dad?
21:30Is it because Bono's a wank?
21:32Alan.
21:33It is, but...
21:33It's just, they think it maybe did more harm than good,
21:36because it made people feel they'd solved the problem of global inequality,
21:40when, in actual fact, it's worsened with the impact of climate change.
21:44Plus, there's the whole white saviour thing,
21:46which is quite toxic as well.
21:49Oh.
21:50I didn't realise it was so controversial.
21:53Well, it's an interesting debate.
21:55I personally think that the...
21:57This is the best one ever.
22:00Oh, I do like this.
22:02What is it?
22:03The Pogues.
22:04Shane McGowan.
22:05Always pissed.
22:07Oh, him, yes.
22:08There's a couple of names for you, Michelle.
22:10What?
22:10Well, Shane for a boy or Kirsty for a girl.
22:13Oh, a good Irish name, that, Michelle.
22:16Shane.
22:17Actually, I quite like those.
22:20Aye.
22:21Wee Shane Edgar.
22:23Sounds good, doesn't it?
22:24Poor Kirsty.
22:25Aye, that's all right, I know.
22:28Here, Christine.
22:29This is the one where the choir's singing Galway Bay.
22:32That's where you'll be at Christmas.
22:34Oh, here, so it is.
22:36Christine, it's just going to feel really weird,
22:38you being away at your cousin's for Christmas.
22:43Beth.
22:43Do you think it's going to be OK?
22:51What do you mean?
22:53Me going to deathless, but it's...
22:55Well, it's just I know that sometimes I can be a wee bit demanding.
23:01Oh, Christine.
23:02What if they end up wishing they'd ever made contact with me and kind of wait to see the back of me?
23:08You're going to have a wonderful time.
23:11Christmas is for families and they're your family.
23:14They're going to be thrilled you're there.
23:16Do you think so?
23:17Yes.
23:21Here, Beth.
23:23You know how I'm getting the train to Stranra and then to getting the ferry?
23:27Yes.
23:28Train to Stranra, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast and coach to Galway.
23:33You OK to give me a lift into the station?
23:37Yes.
23:39You OK there, Gordon?
23:40Any problem with this song?
23:42Well, it depends which version it is.
23:44What?
23:45Well, there's a word in the song that's quite offensive, so...
23:48What word?
23:49Well, I don't really want to say it.
23:51I think I know what it is.
23:53What is it, Beth?
23:53Is it scumbag?
23:54What is wrong with scumbag?
23:56It rhymes with maggot.
23:58It rhymes with maggot?
24:00Maybe just forward it on to the next one.
24:01What rhymes with maggot?
24:03I know.
24:04I know!
24:05What is it?
24:06It begins with an F, Christine.
24:09Fuck with it.
24:11Look, maybe just put it off, Dad.
24:14What is it?
24:18What's wrong with that?
24:20It's quite offensive, especially to gay people.
24:23I thought it was Poofter was the one that he's done, like.
24:26Oh, it's getting to the point you cannae say anything without offending someone.
24:30Oh, here we go.
24:32Well, it's ridiculous.
24:33I mean, you cannae even have a bit of homophobic swearing in a Christmas song any more.
24:39I think it's more we're just becoming more aware of how the things we say impact on other
24:44people, and a recognition that some terms that were once in common usage were, in fact,
24:49offensive, frankly.
24:51We should probably make a move.
24:52What other words can we not say, Gordon?
24:55Well, it's not up to me.
24:56What about Fanny?
24:58If someone was to call you a silly Fanny, would you be offended by that?
25:02Kathy.
25:02Well, I wouldn't really be offended, but, I mean, if we're going to get into it, I don't
25:07really think anyone should be using a female body part as an insult.
25:10Does that mean that you cannae say...
25:11Christine?
25:13What about Dick?
25:14Can you still call someone a Dick?
25:16That's less bad.
25:17Oh, thank God for that.
25:19I see Dick quite a lot, don't I?
25:21I may as well.
25:22Why is Dick not as bad, Gordon?
25:25Well, it's that men have historically been the dominant gender, so...
25:29What about wanker, Gordon?
25:31Because technically that's... that's either, isn't it?
25:34Arsehole.
25:34You know, we've all got one of those.
25:36And where would the gays be without them?
25:38Oh, for...
25:40I really think we should head.
25:42You know what I think, Gordon?
25:43What?
25:44I think you should do your assignment on all of this.
25:50Language and all that.
25:52How it's changed.
25:54You really know what you're talking about.
25:56But I don't think that's...
25:58I can't really see how that would...
26:04Actually, that's a really good idea.
26:11Don't forget your hat and scarf.
26:13Ah, yeah.
26:14See about that.
26:16Do you mind if we don't do presents this year?
26:18Oh, right.
26:19Yeah, it's just...
26:21We're a bit skint this year with me being at college.
26:24Is that why you're not coming over on Christmas Day?
26:28Kinda, yeah.
26:30Do not worry about presents, but come over for dinner.
26:34We'd love to have you.
26:36Right, OK.
26:39Cheers, Mum.
26:39Um, no hugs for me, Gordon.
26:53That's a nice kiss for you as well.
26:57Bye, Ian.
26:58Oh, is that your scooter, Gordon?
27:08Yeah.
27:09Ooh.
27:10I wonder if Cole would like one of those.
27:12Oh, my God, I could get him one for his Christmas.
27:14Cole!
27:15Cole!
27:16Come and get a look at Gordon's scooter.
27:17What's happening?
27:19I think Cole has got him a Gordon Gordon scooter.
27:24Oh, I'd quite like to see that.
27:28I haven't been in one of these for years.
27:30Come on, Cole.
27:31He he he.
27:33Whee!
27:35Woo!
27:39Whoa!
27:41Oh, I'm a fucking van!
27:45Oh, my fucking van!
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