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00:00Thank you for lettin' us be ourselves
00:02So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:04These simple lines be good for your health
00:06Keep them trying rhymes on the shelf
00:08Live love life like you just don't care
00:10Five thousand leaders never scared
00:12Rain and noise is the moment they fear
00:16Get up, sit up here for my dear
00:18Get up, throw your hands in the head
00:20Get up, it's showin' you
00:22Get up, it's showin' you
00:24Get up, it's showin' you
00:26Get up, it's showin' you
00:28Get up, it's showin' you
00:30Finish wrapping the presents, sit back on the couch
00:36Then realise you forgot to buy batteries
00:38It's Christmas Eve and it's time for the last leg
00:42Tonight on the show
00:44We look at a prediction of Christmas future
00:46Look back on Christmas past
00:48And take a sneaky look at our Christmas present
00:52Plus we'll be joined by presenter Alison Hammond
00:54Comedian Harry Hill and music legend Rick Astley
00:56On the show that's always a Christmas diehard
01:08G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:10Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that wonders
01:12If King Charles' speech is going to get one less viewer this year
01:14With fears always of the pride of Huddersfield, Alex Brooker
01:16And the man who turned on the Christmas lights in Exeter this year
01:20But only in his own house, Josh Whittacombe
01:22Happy Christmas Eve everybody
01:24Every year we dress up there's something ridiculous for Christmas
01:26I, of course, am Tom Hanks
01:28From the Polar Express
01:30There you go
01:32Yeah, it's not bad
01:42Yeah, you're such a fan of the film that you've called the character Tom Hanks
01:46You look like you're about to strip
01:48That is a different type of Polar Express
01:52I went with Polar Express because it's my favourite Tom Hanks film
01:54Actually, it's my second favourite but Philadelphia didn't feel appropriate
01:58Merry Christmas!
02:00Josh, would you like to explain who you're dressed as?
02:02Oh, I didn't get the memo, I didn't know it was fancy dress
02:04No, I've come as
02:06I'll stand up for this
02:08I've come as Francis Rossi from the Band Aid video
02:12Amazing!
02:14You
02:29I'm not saying I've run out of ideas
02:31I look like Michael Portillo
02:34You look like someone who's been caught at Heathrow trying to smuggle in illegal reptiles
02:40Well, I've certainly got a snake in these tight trousers, I tell you.
02:46Hey!
02:47Um, Alex, do you want to explain what's going on there?
02:49Yeah, I'm Tim Allen in the Santa Claus.
02:51Santa's just fallen off my roof and I've just put the jacket on.
02:54So, yeah, and also, I'll tell you what, it's comfy in it.
02:57I'll tell you what, your snake will be all right in these pyjama bottoms, mate, honestly.
03:01This is the comfiest I've ever been.
03:03I'm not going to say you've not gone to much effort,
03:05but compared to the two of us...
03:07Wearing, literally, slippers, pyjamas and just you've put on a Santa...
03:13Yeah, I know.
03:14I think these are comfy slippers.
03:16I can only feel the one, but I think...
03:19Um, all right, the big story, of course, is Christmas!
03:22And it's the story Alex has been most excited about all year.
03:27So, let's start with this.
03:29Is it OK that Alex interrupted a last leg meeting this year
03:32to have his Christmas tree delivered?
03:35OK.
03:36Is it OK he did that in October?
03:42Well, here's another is it OK for you.
03:44Is it OK that it's a 13-foot tree?
03:47That is...
03:48I know, that's 12 more feet than Alex has.
03:54Let's see, here's a photo of it arriving.
03:56Just so, you know, Alex took the tree out,
03:59and then once that was done,
04:00Alex's wife put all her belongings in there and there.
04:06Here's the photo of the tree once it was up and running.
04:09Dude, it's so...
04:10Fuck it, no!
04:11It looks like, you know those North Korean marches
04:14where they have the missiles?
04:15Honestly, it's so big that's an actual star on top of it.
04:20Is it a real tree?
04:23It's not a real tree.
04:24Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
04:25No, so even your Christmas tree is prosthetic.
04:27LAUGHTER
04:34Look, knowing how much you love Christmas,
04:36I would imagine the ads you get on your phone
04:39are different to the ads I get on my phone.
04:41Oh, mate, I mean, the algorithm on Instagram...
04:43Mm.
04:44I start getting loads of these, like, Christmas...
04:46Like, leery Christmas suits and outfits.
04:49Right.
04:50Maybe because I was talking about Christmas jumpers.
04:52That's all my algorithm is just Christmas suits.
04:54Yeah, we've got some of the garish images Alex has been getting.
04:56Check these out.
04:57The thing with it is, you two complain a lot, you know,
05:00about your disabilities, but that guy in the suit,
05:03he hasn't got a head.
05:05LAUGHTER
05:07It looks like...
05:09I'd say that's far away.
05:11At the Paralympics, you're in the toughest category.
05:14LAUGHTER
05:15Yeah, especially if it's a dead heat in the sprinting.
05:17LAUGHTER
05:19LAUGHTER
05:21The suit, I love the suit,
05:23it looks like the kind of suit Santa would wear to court.
05:25LAUGHTER
05:26You know what I mean?
05:27Like if Santa turned up in the Epstein files.
05:30LAUGHTER
05:31Oh, no, Santa's not...
05:32Obviously Santa's not in the Epstein files.
05:34Obviously.
05:35Cos we all know Santa makes the list and checks it twice.
05:38LAUGHTER
05:40I reckon...
05:41Pausing for an edit...
05:42LAUGHTER
05:44I think nothing says Christmas Eve more than Philadelphia
05:54and the Epstein files.
05:56LAUGHTER
05:57I reckon if you can encapsulate Alex's algorithm into one image,
06:02it would be this.
06:03Declan Rice dressed as Santa drinking a frosé with Big John.
06:06LAUGHTER
06:07That is...
06:08That's Alex's...
06:09I'm assuming that's your default setting when you blank out during a meeting.
06:12LAUGHTER
06:13Is it true you want a dash cam for Christmas?
06:15Yeah, I do.
06:16Yeah, I genuinely do.
06:17I've got banged...
06:18So...
06:19I've got banged into, um, dash cam footage.
06:21That's the other thing my algorithm is jumping up.
06:22What do you mean?
06:23So, like, I've got really into, like, watching these videos
06:26of, like, just people having near misses.
06:28But the one I've been getting into most is a geezer called Big Jobber,
06:32who basically...
06:33Wait, what, what, what, what?
06:34His name's Big Jobber and basically what he does is...
06:35I'm going to say it, Hilsie.
06:36When Brooker searched Big Jobber,
06:38he wasn't looking for a dash cam footage.
06:40LAUGHTER
06:42He...
06:43He assesses, like, the insurance library,
06:46who's at fault for the crash based on the dash cam footage.
06:49Are you OK?
06:50I think I'm having, like, the most boring midlife crashes of all time.
06:56But, yeah, I really want, I really want a dash cam.
06:59We've got, we've got a very special treat for Alex tonight.
07:01So, we've been following Santa on his radar tonight.
07:03Oh, OK.
07:04So, we're going to check in to see where he is right now.
07:06Have a look at this on the map.
07:07He...
07:08Now, that seems to be Huddersfield, which is where you live, Alex.
07:12Yeah.
07:13He seems to be stuck there.
07:14Um, let's go to Santa's dash cam,
07:16or as he calls it, dasher cam,
07:18to see what's happening.
07:20Guys, what arsehole put up a 12-foot tree?
07:27Look, they don't breathalise me.
07:29I've had 83 million cherries.
07:32Here's your froze machine, you prick.
07:35LAUGHTER
07:37Now, one AI generator, uh, reimagined Santa over the decades,
07:43showing how, and this is a quote,
07:45beloved figures can evolve alongside society's progress.
07:49Here is its revealing timeline of Santas.
07:52Let's go through them one by one.
07:53Here's 1960s Santa.
07:55Textbook.
07:56Classic.
07:57Classic Santa.
07:58Coca-Cola Santa.
07:59No issue with that, yeah.
08:00Yep.
08:01Uh, 1970s Santa.
08:02Ooh.
08:03I've...
08:04I'm not letting my kids sit on his knee.
08:06LAUGHTER
08:08Uh, let's look at 1980s Santa.
08:10LAUGHTER
08:11Wow.
08:12He's been lifting his sack and I...
08:15LAUGHTER
08:16It's no wonder Mummy was kissing Santa Claus.
08:18Look at that guy.
08:19I mean, that'll leave her Saint Nicholas.
08:21LAUGHTER
08:23LAUGHTER
08:24Uh, all right, let's...
08:25LAUGHTER
08:26This...
08:27Did somebody just go,
08:28Oh, dear!
08:29LAUGHTER
08:30LAUGHTER
08:31I...
08:33I...
08:34I enjoyed it!
08:35Oh, dear!
08:37That, for me, do you know what?
08:39I'm not...
08:40It's ruined Christmas.
08:41LAUGHTER
08:42And that's a guy who was fine with the Epstein joke.
08:44LAUGHTER
08:45LAUGHTER
08:46Uh, 2010s Santa?
08:48Couldn't give a shit, could I?
08:50No.
08:51LAUGHTER
08:522030s?
08:53Well, I tell you what,
08:54J.K. Rowling's not going to be happy from 2030s.
08:56LAUGHTER
08:58LAUGHTER
09:00Oh, dear.
09:02LAUGHTER
09:03LAUGHTER
09:04Look, there's one in the audience!
09:05We found him!
09:06LAUGHTER
09:07How did that happen?
09:12APPLAUSE
09:13Mate!
09:14It's the one fucking night you work!
09:16LAUGHTER
09:17LAUGHTER
09:19I'm not so sure about 2050 Santa.
09:21I mean, no...
09:22I mean, he looks like he's going to shoot the naughty boys again.
09:24LAUGHTER
09:25And look, as Santa faces an AI future,
09:27so does the art of gift-giving.
09:29Because surveys have found that a lot of people are using
09:31generative AI for present ideas.
09:33I love the idea that tomorrow there's going to be men everywhere
09:37blaming AI for misjudged gives for their other halves.
09:40LAUGHTER
09:41It's just going...
09:42I mean, J.K.P.T. just said anal beads.
09:44I don't even know why...
09:45LAUGHTER
09:46LAUGHTER
09:47Like, the technology's just not...
09:49It's just not right.
09:50By the way, love, do us a favour,
09:51can you quickly ring your mum and tell her not to open her?
09:53LAUGHTER
09:58So, we've decided to use AI tonight
10:00to choose our presents for each other.
10:02And to deliver them,
10:03would you please welcome, all the way from the future,
10:05Robot Santa!
10:07LAUGHTER
10:08I mean, the technology in the future's amazing, isn't it?
10:25I tell you what,
10:26the robot's improved more than the trolley, hasn't it?
10:29LAUGHTER
10:31It's not often I get to say this about other people,
10:34but you do walk a bit funny, don't you?
10:36LAUGHTER
10:41Can the robot do the Vs towards Alex?
10:44LAUGHTER
10:46LAUGHTER
10:48All right, so we started by asking AI the question,
10:50what is a good Christmas present for Alex Brooker?
10:52Now, once we explained who Alex Brooker was...
10:54LAUGHTER
10:56LAUGHTER
10:58It suggested a personalised Arsenal jersey.
11:01Yes, please.
11:02So, could you please bring the presents over...
11:04LAUGHTER
11:07Do you know what?
11:09Yeah.
11:10RADA is fucking good, isn't it?
11:12LAUGHTER
11:14LAUGHTER
11:15LAUGHTER
11:17LAUGHTER
11:19LAUGHTER
11:20Poor years of debt for this.
11:22LAUGHTER
11:23Thank you very much.
11:25It's good to have Daniel Day-Lewis back in the game, isn't it?
11:30LAUGHTER
11:31Oh, wow.
11:32Unbelievable.
11:33No, back a bit, there we go.
11:34Oh, there we go.
11:36Thank you, robot Santa.
11:38LAUGHTER
11:40LAUGHTER
11:41They said...
11:42Do you know what?
11:43When they said Greg Wallace would never be back on TV...
11:45LAUGHTER
11:46LAUGHTER
11:47APPLAUSE
11:48LAUGHTER
11:49LAUGHTER
11:50LAUGHTER
11:51LAUGHTER
11:53LAUGHTER
11:55LAUGHTER
11:57So, I started out by asking AI what to get for Alex.
11:59Yes.
12:00And it said, a personalised Arsenal jersey.
12:02Am I allowed to open it?
12:03You are allowed to open it.
12:04Oh, wow.
12:05So, we've got you an Arsenal jersey, and on the back we've got the picture of you, er,
12:10with Declan Rice and Big John drinking the Frosé.
12:12Oh, yes, please.
12:13Oh, yes, please.
12:14Merry Christmas.
12:15APPLAUSE
12:18I love this robot.
12:19He did a little...
12:20He did a little happy dance when it was good.
12:22LAUGHTER
12:23So, when...
12:24When I asked...
12:25LAUGHTER
12:26How is the robot funnier than all of us?
12:29LAUGHTER
12:30This is the future, Josh.
12:31LAUGHTER
12:33So, when I asked AI what to get Josh, it said, er,
12:36something that balances his sober lifestyle, his love of home,
12:40his writing work and his comedic vibe.
12:42Oh, that's genuinely nice.
12:44It said, a premium tea gift set and notebook, er,
12:48combo with a personal note.
12:50So, it's...
12:51An AI wrote the note.
12:53Oh.
12:54For when you fancy putting the kettle on...
12:56I genuinely like this.
12:57For when you fancy putting the kettle on and jamming down
13:00those five-minute observations.
13:02LAUGHTER
13:04This is the great thing.
13:05It also added, er, Josh is an observational comedian
13:08who focuses on the minutiae of everyday life
13:11rather than big topical issues.
13:13LAUGHTER
13:15I think anyone who's seen me trying to walk around the news
13:18on this show would agree with that.
13:20LAUGHTER
13:21And so, what did...
13:22What did AI suggest for me?
13:23Ah...
13:24Well, AI...
13:25They got...
13:26So, basically, they said,
13:27something that was tied to your interest in disability
13:29awareness and sport, but more importantly,
13:31a high-quality item that acknowledges that part of his life,
13:34but not in a pitying way.
13:36They wanted us to give you something empowering.
13:38Not in a pitying way.
13:39No, so we didn't want to get you any sort of...
13:41any sort of present that would kind of sound, um,
13:44pitying at all.
13:45OK.
13:46So, we've got you, er, a book.
13:47You have got me a book.
13:48Which is called, um,
13:50The Little Disabled Engine That Could.
13:52LAUGHTER
13:53APPLAUSE
13:55Thank you so much, boys.
13:57I can add that to my collection, along with C-Spot Limp.
14:00LAUGHTER
14:02And, oh, the places you'll park.
14:04LAUGHTER
14:05And, can we also have, er, a big thank you to...
14:08Robot Santa!
14:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:15Er, now, Christmas telly is also changing.
14:17There's a reality series on Hallmark this year
14:19called Finding Mr Christmas.
14:21Er, the TV show focuses on ten aspiring actors
14:24who compete for the chance to be the next leading man
14:27in a Hallmark Christmas film.
14:29Here is the cheesy trailer
14:31for the wholesome reality series.
14:33Boy, do I have an early holiday gift for you.
14:36We are back for season two
14:38with an all-new group of hunks
14:39and festive face-offs.
14:41Check out this sneak peek.
14:42It's a huge house.
14:43I'm down to stay here for a while.
14:45What's up, guys?
14:46What's up, fellas?
14:47What's up, Angel?
14:48Dude, it's so epic.
14:50Dude, we got the trust circle going on already.
14:53I don't trust that trust circle.
14:59Have you seen Finding Mr Easter?
15:01It's a bit bleaker
15:02because the winner gets nailed to a cross.
15:11Now...
15:14Throughout the show...
15:17Sorry, it's status quo too edgy for you.
15:19Honestly, it's just everything you say with that ponytail.
15:25Now, throughout the show, this Finding Mr Christmas,
15:27you just get a cut away of my fucking ponytail.
15:31We've never used that camera angle in 15 years.
15:34Where did that come from?
15:36That's not one of our angles.
15:38Where's that?
15:39Where's that?
15:40I don't even know where that camera is!
15:43Throughout Finding Mr Christmas,
15:45the actors have to complete a series of challenges,
15:47including gift wrapping, untangling Christmas lights
15:49and acting in a scene.
15:50But we think they missed a trick.
15:53Because we've got our own Mr Christmas here, Alex Brooker.
15:56I don't know why they didn't cast him, right?
15:58100%, mate.
15:59So, throughout the show tonight,
16:00we're going to set Alex a series of Christmassy tasks
16:03and he's going to do the first one now.
16:05We need you to head over there, please, Alex.
16:07I didn't know why.
16:08Are you ready? Are you ready?
16:13It's based on this festive challenge.
16:16Remember, guys, presentation is important,
16:20but your personality and star quality
16:23are always on Santa's radar.
16:26Ooh.
16:27So give us your best runway walks and slay!
16:30Yeah!
16:31Wait, you're up first.
16:39Okay, hello.
16:41Melissa, I don't want you to get too close to this fire.
16:43Sugar melts.
16:44Oh!
16:47Wow!
16:52So, it's time for Alex
16:54to take on the Mr Christmas catwalk challenge.
16:57Alex, I want some strut with a goodwill to all men vibe.
17:07Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
17:14Uh, genuinely, by the way, don't, don't get too close to me,
17:18because I think this is flammable as far.
17:22Alex, you're through to the next round.
17:25Yeah!
17:27You're through to the next round!
17:29Yeah!
17:35Alright, let's welcome tonight's guests.
17:37They're Bake Off royalty, which means much like real royalty,
17:39they're both inbred.
17:41Please welcome Alison Hammond and comedian Harry Hill!
17:53Hello!
17:55Hello!
17:57Hello!
18:03I don't believe you, Francis Rotti and Tim Allen.
18:07And Bernard Cribbins from the Railway Church.
18:13Now, Alison has already received the best gift of all a few weeks ago
18:17when Prince Harry lip-synced to one of your exchanges from Bake Off.
18:21I thought I was dreaming when I saw that.
18:23So here's the perfectly timed clip with Stephen Colbert.
18:27If you were treated like a king for the day,
18:29what would you want me to do for you?
18:31Um, back for me probably.
18:33You'd want me to do what?
18:35Beg!
18:37Beg!
18:39Beg!
18:41Beg!
18:43Beg!
18:49What a weird moment!
18:51Crazy!
18:53I mean, someone's like, oh my God!
18:55Me and Prince Harry are connected now.
18:57You totally like that.
18:59Yeah.
19:00I mean, how can I be humble now?
19:01Do you know what I mean?
19:03Does it make me kind of like royalty now?
19:05Like, am I a princess?
19:07Am I?
19:08Yeah, but it does appear that Prince Harry has got a lot of time on his hands now.
19:13LAUGHTER
19:15Do you reckon?
19:21Um, Harry, what are your Christmas traditions?
19:25Um, well, we always...
19:27What we do with the TV, when we have the Christmas lunch...
19:31Yep.
19:32And then we have...
19:33We've got one of those TVs that you can bring round...
19:35You know, it comes...
19:36You can angle it round.
19:37It's on the wall, but you can angle it round.
19:39Yep.
19:40And so we bring it round so that it's across the other side of the table,
19:43and then we have the King's Speech on there.
19:45So it's like he's joining us.
19:47LAUGHTER
19:51What's that?
19:52Yeah.
19:53It has been a tough year for a lot of people.
19:55LAUGHTER
19:57And look, we talked about Alex's 13-foot tree in his garden.
20:00Anything special in your garden this Christmas?
20:02Oh, well, we've got robins, actually.
20:05Ooh!
20:06Yeah.
20:07Aww.
20:08Yeah, I know.
20:09We put up a nesting box last year.
20:11Yeah.
20:12And we've got some...
20:13Actually, some baby robins in there.
20:15Aww.
20:16Yeah, and I've actually got a camera.
20:17You know, one of those little tiny cameras?
20:18Oh, yeah, yeah.
20:19Yeah.
20:20It's got a bird watch.
20:21Yeah, with, like, a live feed.
20:22Yeah.
20:23Um, could we see that, or...?
20:25We have got it.
20:26Yes, yes, we can.
20:27Yes, we can.
20:28Let's see the live feed of your...
20:29Yeah, this morning.
20:30Oh, that's so lovely.
20:31But, um...
20:32LAUGHTER
20:34LAUGHTER
20:35LAUGHTER
20:36APPLAUSE
20:38That's tough.
20:39APPLAUSE
20:40Aw!
20:42LAUGHTER
20:43Aw, that's really upsetting.
20:45LAUGHTER
20:46Yeah.
20:47Talk about a live feed.
20:48Me!
20:49LAUGHTER
20:50All right, we'll have more last leg for you after the break as we chat to Rick Astley
20:55and find out which one of our guests had a crush on him as a teenager.
20:58See you in a little bit.
20:59CHEERING
21:00Welcome back to Last Leg.
21:01We're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Gill.
21:10Uh, Alex is starting to change like Tim Allen in, uh...
21:14I'm not.
21:15Are you not?
21:16Are you not?
21:17No, I'm not, mate.
21:18I don't think that's how you looked in the last part.
21:19That's absolutely the same, mate.
21:20OK.
21:21All right, Josh, do you want to explain what's going on with you?
21:22I'm going through the band-aid video.
21:23LAUGHTER
21:24I didn't know Hanson were in band-aid.
21:25Handsome?
21:26LAUGHTER
21:27I can't hear much, by the way.
21:28I'm Sting from band-aid.
21:29I'm Sting from band-aid.
21:30Yeah.
21:31Uh, Alex is starting to change like Tim Allen in, uh...
21:32I'm not.
21:33Are you not?
21:34Are you not?
21:35Are you not?
21:36Are you not?
21:37No, I'm not.
21:38I'm not.
21:39I'm not.
21:40I'm not.
21:41I'm not.
21:42I'm not.
21:43I'm not.
21:44I'm not.
21:45I'm not.
21:46I'm not.
21:47I'm not.
21:48I'm not.
21:49I'm not.
21:50I'm not.
21:51I'm not.
21:52I'm not.
21:53I'm.
22:06I'm not.
22:07I'm getting.
22:08I'm getting Gail Tilsley and Paul Hollywood.
22:11LAUGHTER
22:13And obviously I'm now Tom Hanks as Woody from Toy Story.
22:16Oh yes.
22:17Oh yeah.
22:18Because the final scene at Toy Story is when they all become friends at Christmas.
22:21Time now to welcome another guest to the Last League Christmas celebration.
22:25He's a soul singer whose songs may be the one thing your family doesn't fight over this Christmas.
22:29Please welcome Rick Astley!
22:51Welcome to the party, Rick. What are your Christmas traditions?
22:57Eating and drinking, I think, pretty much.
23:00Yes!
23:01My wife is Danish and we have quite a lot of Scandinavian tradition in our Christmas.
23:05Bacon?
23:06Yeah, a lot of bacon, actually.
23:08Yeah, yeah.
23:09But also, they celebrate on the eve, on the 24th.
23:13Yes.
23:14So we've got into that habit over the years of doing that.
23:16Well, I'm very sorry that you're here tonight on Christmas Eve.
23:19Well, exactly.
23:21Exactly.
23:22I'm straight back there after this and if there's anything left, I'll be, you know, lovely.
23:28No, so to be honest, tomorrow is a bit like our Boxing Day, to be honest.
23:32Right.
23:33A bit more chill and, you know, so...
23:34Yep.
23:35Yeah.
23:36Now, we asked AI to suggest a present for you.
23:38I can't wait.
23:39OK.
23:41It said maybe a rare vinyl copy of something like The Smiths,
23:44because you did a show of Smith songs at Glastonbury.
23:47Indeed I did.
23:48I saw it.
23:49Which, yeah, you saw it and one of our team was there and captured the joy Josh felt
23:53as he watched you perform.
23:54This is genuine footage.
23:55Back on the streets of Birmingham, I wander to myself.
24:02With a pair to be safe again, with each side straight as he slipped down, I wander to myself.
24:14Oh.
24:15What a nice...
24:16One of the best hours of my life.
24:21And watching that video, this is going to blow your mind.
24:24That was after I stopped drinking.
24:26That's right.
24:27That's right.
24:29Harry, you share Rick's love of Morrissey's music.
24:32Uh...
24:33His music?
24:34Yeah, not so much his music.
24:39Don't talk about that, do we?
24:41You performed as Morrissey?
24:42I was...
24:43I did Morrissey in Stars in there.
24:44I remember it.
24:45We have a dazzling clip of the enthusiastic performance from the turn of the millennium.
24:50By Morrissey!
24:52APPLAUSE
25:05Pricycle
25:07Yes, I'll dance on it
25:11Oh, let you make a man of me, yeah
25:17When in this charming car
25:21This shine
25:27So good. Have you ever met Morrissey?
25:30I haven't met Morrissey, but part of it was you had to get permission.
25:34So I had to get permission from Morrissey to impersonate him or to do that song
25:39And I got a fax through in the old days of faxes
25:42And it was signed by Morrissey saying, good luck, Morrissey
25:47And so I thought, oh, so Morrissey is on the other end of this number
25:50The number is there
25:52And I had this idea, so I sent him a fax back
25:56Saying, how about you and me do a novelty single for Christmas
26:00Our version of Little Donkey
26:03But I never, he never heard back
26:05I mean, you've got your own quiff
26:09I have
26:10I have to wear an artificial one
26:11But if you liked, I could, would you like me to reprise the
26:14Would you like
26:15Yes
26:16Have you got them of course
26:17Yes
26:18Yes
26:19Yes
26:20Yes
26:21Yes
26:22Yes
26:23Yes
26:24Yes
26:25Yes
26:26Yes
26:27He knows how to get the crowd going.
26:30Here we go. Here we go.
26:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:35Lovely. It's uncanny.
26:40Little donkey, little donkey, on a dusty road.
26:46Gotta keep on plodding onwards, with your head in the road.
26:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:58Brilliant.
27:00Oh, mercy, everyone.
27:02Oh, mercy.
27:04Merry Christmas.
27:06So good. Alison, is it true you had a teenage crush on Rick?
27:10Well, it's not the sort of place I would, like, probably admit it,
27:14with Rick literally sitting there, but he already knows.
27:17We've met quite a few times, and now I'm quite cool with it.
27:20Are you? Like, I'm all right.
27:21I'm totally cool with, like, being in the same room.
27:24As long as Harry's sat between us.
27:25Oh, yeah, exactly.
27:26So, Alison, just to clarify your story,
27:29you used to fancy Rick Astley,
27:31then you met him, and now it's gone away.
27:34Not at all, Josh.
27:36Obviously, I've still got feelings, but there is, like, you know...
27:39Have you?
27:40Do you want to expand on that?
27:42Listen, I'm not saying...
27:44There's a wife. There's a wife.
27:46It's too late. It's too late.
27:47It's too late. It's too late.
27:48I just...
27:49I feel like I'm the...
27:50Come on, Harry.
27:51Come on, Harry.
27:52Come on, Harry.
27:53Come on, Harry. Get there.
27:54Honestly...
27:55Oh, no!
27:56I don't know when I'm not wanted.
27:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:59Listen...
28:05Obviously, I was a lot younger than I am now,
28:08and, obviously, I still get the same feelings.
28:12I'm going to say it.
28:13There's a chance you're going to be Rickrolled.
28:18Come back, Harry!
28:19Come back, Harry!
28:21Harry!
28:22Alison, on the very night that his wife is celebrating Christmas.
28:28Well, she's not here, is she?
28:29Yes, sir.
28:34Just out of interest, Rick, where can Alison see you perform next year?
28:37Yeah!
28:40Um, here, there and everywhere.
28:41We're on tour in April, which...
28:43Are we?
28:44Yes, we're all on tour.
28:47Short notice.
28:48Yeah.
28:49So, um...
28:50Yes.
28:51We can't wait.
28:52We can't wait.
28:53We're looking forward to it.
28:54And now, Harry, you and Alison both host different versions of Bake Off,
28:57but you have brought your own showstopper to the show tonight.
29:00Yeah, I've got to go back there again.
29:02Go on!
29:04Well, I just think, you know, people forget, um, what Christmas is really about.
29:09Yeah.
29:10And what they concentrate on is the food.
29:12You know, it's all about the food.
29:13Mm.
29:14So, what I've done is I've done a, um, my own savoury nativity, um...
29:20Frazzles!
29:21I love it!
29:22Which I've...
29:23Which I've made.
29:24Which I've made myself.
29:26And what...
29:27Just trying to get the message of Christmas through...
29:29LAUGHTER
29:30Through...
29:31Through food.
29:32Smells lovely.
29:33And...
29:34Do you want me to talk you through it?
29:35Yeah.
29:36So, these are Frazzles on the roof of the, uh...
29:39LAUGHTER
29:40That's the...
29:41It's a Pomb Bear.
29:42LAUGHTER
29:43As...
29:44As the Angel Gabriel.
29:45LAUGHTER
29:46And then we have the Three Kings here, which I...
29:48I made from...
29:49Pepparamis, cos they're spicy, a bit more exotic.
29:51You've got the two sausages here, Joseph and Mary.
29:53Obviously, Joseph is a bit taller than Mary.
29:54LAUGHTER
29:55And then you've got the...
29:56The star of the show, the baby Jesus, which is a pig in blanket.
29:59There's the...
30:00LAUGHTER
30:01I don't mean that in a sort of negative...
30:03you know, in a...
30:04LAUGHTER
30:05I don't want any trouble.
30:06LAUGHTER
30:07And then you've got the...
30:08A pig in blanket, and there's the...
30:10LAUGHTER
30:11I don't mean that in a sort of negative...
30:12LAUGHTER
30:17I don't want any trouble.
30:18LAUGHTER
30:19And then you've got the...
30:20I don't want any trouble.
30:23You've got the manger made out of chip sticks, they're nice,
30:26and then you've got the halo there.
30:28So that's just something that perhaps people could, you know,
30:31make their own tradition now.
30:34The savoury nativity. Would you like to...?
30:36Have you got it in kit form?
30:38Do you, like, sell it in a kit? Could you...?
30:39It's about 12 quid, the whole lot.
30:42I mean, the slight problem with it is to secure the sausages,
30:46you do have to use, um, screws.
30:49LAUGHTER
30:52We're going to have more last leg for you after the break
30:54as Alex performs a Hallmark Christmas scene
30:56we've written just for tonight, but right now,
30:59Rick Astley is going to perform his first Christmas hit of the night.
31:03Before he does, though, we've talked a lot about Alex's love of Christmas,
31:06but Lib Dem leader Ed Davey revealed in an interview this year
31:09that he listens to Christmas tunes all year round.
31:12Wow. How do we feel about that? Is that all right?
31:14Oh, I wouldn't. But isn't his birthday on Christmas Day?
31:17That's the reason, isn't it?
31:19I think his birthday's on Christmas Day,
31:20so that's probably one of the reasons why it means a lot to him.
31:23Yeah, cos otherwise it'd just be fucking weird.
31:25LAUGHTER
31:26Well, he's going to make the next bit awkward.
31:40Uh, Rick is going to play us into the break,
31:42but who better to introduce him than the leader of the Lib Dems...
31:46LAUGHTER
31:47So, Head Davey!
31:49LAUGHTER
31:51Hi, guys, it's Head Davey here.
31:53Merry Christmas to you all.
31:55It's true, I like listening to Christmas music all year round.
31:59The reason is, my daughter and I love winding up her mum,
32:04and it's on my iPhone and we play it in the car all the time.
32:07Um, I'm never going to give up Christmas.
32:10So, here's Rick Astley.
32:12APPLAUSE
32:14Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?
32:25In a lane, snow is glisting.
32:29A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight.
32:33We're walking in a winter wonderland.
32:36We'll get along, we'll conspire.
32:40As we dream, by the fire.
32:44To face, I'm afraid, the plans that remain.
32:48Walking in a winter wonderland.
32:51Oh, well, let's go.
32:55Topic, let's go.
32:56MUSIC PLAYS
33:26Welcome back to Last Leg, we're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill.
33:35Alex, you're definitely changing.
33:37I feel a little bit more Christmassy at the moment.
33:39Do you?
33:40I'm feeling it a little bit different at the moment, but...
33:43You're definitely progressing.
33:44No, I haven't.
33:46OK.
33:47Josh, would you like to explain who you are now?
33:50No, I'm from the Band-Aid video.
33:52Yeah.
33:53So I'm Sarah Dallin from Bananarama, of course.
33:55LAUGHTER
34:00Look at these jeans, they're fucking brilliant.
34:02LAUGHTER
34:05It ain't what I do, it's the way that I do it.
34:07We've always said it.
34:09And obviously, I'm Tom Hanks in the movie Forrest Gump,
34:12because he famously said life is like a box of chocolates
34:14and the main time you get chocolates is at Christmas.
34:17LAUGHTER
34:20You still look a bit like you're going to strip.
34:22LAUGHTER
34:23And now, throughout the show, we've been putting Alex through his paces
34:28to see how he'd fare on the US reality series Finding Mr Christmas.
34:32The winner of the first series, by the way,
34:34earned a leading role in a holiday movie
34:36about the owner of a Seattle dog shelter
34:38who falls for a meticulous web page editor.
34:41The movie was called Happy Howlidays.
34:45Love it.
34:46See what you did there.
34:47And see what they did there.
34:48Love it.
34:49All right, I'm going to send everyone, if you could all go over
34:51and get ready for the next challenge for Alex, please.
34:53Right.
34:54Over in that corner of the studio.
34:56So, Alex's final challenge tonight is to test out his acting chops
34:59in a scene we've written as the ultimate hallmark Christmas movie.
35:04Lights.
35:05Camera.
35:06Christmas.
35:08APPLAUSE
35:15Help!
35:16Help!
35:17I need an emergency appointment.
35:18Oh, my God.
35:19It's Alison Hammond, the big city TV presenter.
35:22Right.
35:23I've become so career focused, I've lost touch with what's
35:26important in life.
35:27I'm single and I'm home for the holidays.
35:30And?
35:31And I've hit a dog.
35:34Aw.
35:36Oh, my God.
35:37What happened?
35:38I'll tell you what happened.
35:54It's quite difficult to talk because it's really tight on
35:57the jaw.
35:58At least do a dog voice.
36:01I'll tell you what happened.
36:02That's better.
36:03Yeah, is that better?
36:04That's better.
36:05I was just sitting there by the side of the road,
36:07licking my own balls, and she came round the corner
36:09like a lunatic and hit me.
36:10Yeah, but he's such a cutie.
36:11I've really fallen for him.
36:12Is there anyone here who can treat him?
36:14I can't let him die.
36:15I'm the presenter of For The Love Of Dogs.
36:17Of course, Miss Hammond, do you know what?
36:19The whole thing is, I'm the presenter of For The Love Of Dogs.
36:22I can't let him die.
36:25I'm the presenter of For The Love Of Dogs.
36:27Of course, Miss Hammond, do you know what?
36:30The hot vet will see you now.
36:32But I'm next.
36:33I'm sorry, Mr Hill, your cat's going to have to wait.
36:36It's not the cat I'm worried about, it's the Robins.
36:39I'm afraid Miss Hammond is next.
36:50But I'm on the telly.
36:51I know, but not as much as Alison.
36:53No-one's on the telly as much as Alison.
36:55The hot vet will see you now.
36:59Whoa!
37:00Somebody order a dream boat.
37:02Are you the hot vet?
37:03Yes, I'm sweating buckets.
37:04Do you know how hard it is to operate with these little hands?
37:06You look like a man who could really heal my heart.
37:08I mean, dog.
37:09What kind of dog is it?
37:10I don't know, one of those really little whiny ones by the looks of it.
37:12I tell you what, why don't you come back to my charming little cottage and have Christmas with me and my children.
37:27They've been missing a mother figure in their life ever since my wife died in a tragic Christmas kite accident.
37:39And then we could go back to the big city and maybe you could become the resident vet on This Morning.
37:45Bosh!
37:49There you go, little fella.
37:50Oh, what?
37:51Get that on there, boy.
37:52Is that it?
37:54Stop whinging or I'll cut your bollocks off.
37:58Come on, princess.
37:59Let's go.
38:05Oi, what about my robins?
38:10This Christmas, Alex Brooker is the hot vet in Hallmark's new movie, Vet the Hall.
38:17Alright, it's time to bring out a Christmassy mystery guest.
38:31Harry and Alison have to try to work out why they were in the news this year.
38:35Can we please have this week's mystery guest?
38:38Mystery guest, mystery guest, Christmas mystery guest.
38:43Oh, what fun it is to have a Christmas mystery guest.
38:49Welcome, Josh, Alex, who is the mystery guest?
38:51This is Rob.
38:52He was in the news this year for a Christmassy reason.
38:55Mm-hm.
38:56But what was it?
38:57Can we have the dramatic lighting change, please?
39:02So, did Rob get suspended from Broadland Radio for playing
39:05All I Want For Christmas Is You on October the 3rd?
39:09Did he get suspended as a school exam invigilator
39:12after playing Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade
39:15to signal the end of the final exam?
39:18Or did Rob get suspended by an undertaker
39:20after mistakenly playing last Christmas
39:23rather than the last post at a funeral?
39:31What do you think?
39:32Well, I don't think you'd make a mistake at a funeral.
39:34You'd be well prepared.
39:35Does he look like an undertaker?
39:40That's a grave digger.
39:42That's a grave digger, yeah.
39:45Well, tell you what, we'll reveal the mystery guest
39:47after the break.
39:48Rick Astley is going to sing us into Christmas.
39:50We'll see you in a little bit.
39:51APPLAUSE
40:08Welcome back to Last Leg.
40:10We're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill.
40:12Alex has now become full Father Christmas.
40:15Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!
40:18There you go.
40:21APPLAUSE
40:22That was a good one.
40:24You know what?
40:25In another reality where the cards had fallen different,
40:28he'd currently be doing that in a grotto in a garden centre.
40:31You're not entirely sure what's going on with your costume.
40:34Well, I didn't think we had very long,
40:36so I was the dog already,
40:38so I just shoved mine on top of the dog.
40:40LAUGHTER
40:41OK.
40:42So I'm Boy George.
40:43LAUGHTER
40:54Do you know what I'm calling this outfit?
40:55What?
40:56Hair Boy George.
40:57Oh, lovely.
40:59Lovely.
41:04And clearly, I'm Tom Hanks from Castaway,
41:06because when he first experiences pain due to an infected tooth
41:09that goes on to become an ongoing issue whilst he's on the island,
41:11he's had a Christmas dinner.
41:14LAUGHTER
41:15Oh, and I've got the volleyball as well.
41:17Um...
41:18Hooray!
41:20LAUGHTER
41:21APPLAUSE
41:22We recognise that handprint.
41:24LAUGHTER
41:26Before the break,
41:27we challenged our guest to work out
41:28how this person was connected to the news.
41:30Can we have the options again, please?
41:34Yes, this is Rob,
41:35and he was connected to the news this year for Christmassy reason.
41:38But what was it?
41:39Was it because Rob got suspended from Broadland Radio
41:42for playing
41:43All I Want For Christmas Is You on October 3rd?
41:46Was it because he got suspended as a school exam invigilator
41:49after playing Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade
41:52to signal the end of the final exam?
41:54Or did he get suspended by an undertaker
41:57after mistakenly playing Last Christmas
41:59rather than The Last Post at a funeral?
42:02That's a funeral.
42:03Ho, ho!
42:04Yeah.
42:05Harry, Ellison.
42:06Oh!
42:07Could we...
42:08Could you say something sort of local radio-ish?
42:11That we could see whether...
42:12Coming up on the show!
42:14Well, hi, folks.
42:15Hope you're having a good Sunday.
42:17Uh...
42:18Yeah.
42:19Is that it?
42:20You've got a good voice for radio!
42:21What do you think?
42:22You could have said no, Rob.
42:24Shall we go with the radio?
42:29Yes.
42:30It's very...
42:31Would they suspend someone just for playing...
42:33It's a bit mean, isn't it?
42:34If they've done that, that is mean.
42:36It's a cutthroat world local radio.
42:38I won't be listening to that radio station anyway.
42:40If the banding...
42:41No, exactly.
42:42Well, that's the last time you listen to Broadland Radio, isn't it?
42:45Well, I thought you said Broadmoor.
42:47LAUGHTER
42:52All right, Rob.
42:53Rob, can you reveal your identity, please?
42:58I am indeed Rob Chandler,
43:00breakfast presenter at Broadland Radio,
43:02and I was suspended for playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song
43:06early in October.
43:07Amazing!
43:09Ooh!
43:11So why did you play it and then why did they suspend you?
43:14Well, it started with a text from a listener called Becky,
43:18who said she was putting out her Christmas stock in her shop
43:22and could I play a Christmas song?
43:24So I thought, tell you what,
43:25if I get at least five listener texts saying ho ho ho...
43:30Ho ho ho!
43:31Exactly.
43:33I'll consider it.
43:34And we did.
43:35We got a load of text saying ho ho ho,
43:37one or two saying no, no, no.
43:40But then Billy the Taxi Driver,
43:42Billy the Taxi Driver,
43:43you must know Billy the Taxi Driver.
43:45No.
43:46Um...
43:47LAUGHTER
43:49Another keen listener text and said,
43:52there's a tub of chocolates in it for you
43:55if you play Mariah Carey.
43:57All I want for Christmas is you.
43:59So, came back after the news and I read that text out
44:03and I said, quite frankly, I'm disappointed Billy,
44:06that you could think I could be so shallow to fall for such a blatant bribe.
44:11Here we go.
44:12He knows what he's doing.
44:13Yeah.
44:14Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.
44:16Oh!
44:17Oh.
44:18He played a song.
44:19Yeah.
44:20How long was he suspended for?
44:21How long was he suspended for?
44:22One day.
44:23Oh, is that all?
44:24Yeah.
44:25Did you go shopping? What did you do? Yeah, well just stayed in bed all day
44:30Can we please have a round of applause for wrong?
44:39All right, we are about to win the show for the Christmas sing-along from Rick Astley
44:42But before we do would you please thank our guests Alison Hammond?
44:47Harry Hill
44:50And my co-hosts
44:55We'll be back next week for our New Year's Eve special with an incredible line-up
44:59Musician Peter Doherty, comedians Maisie, Adam and Phil Wang
45:02National treasure Sir Lenny Henry
45:03TV personality Danny Dyer
45:06Rugby star Hannah Botterman
45:07Lioness Lucy Bronze
45:09As well as a celebrity barman who is 100% faithful
45:12Right now though Rick Astley is going to sing us into Christmas
45:17Thanks for watching the last link
45:18My name's Adam Hills
45:19Merry Christmas to all
45:20And to all a good night
45:25You better watch out
45:32You better not cry
45:33You better not pout
45:35I'm telling you why
45:37Santa Claus is coming
45:39To town
45:41It's snowing road, let's go
45:44He sees you when you're sleeping
45:57He sees you when you're sleeping
46:01He sees you when you're sleeping
46:04He sees you when you're sleeping
46:13He knows when you're awake
46:16He knows if you've been bad or good
46:20So be good for goodness sake
46:23You better watch out
46:25You better not cry
46:27You better not pout
46:29I'm telling you why
46:30Santa Claus is coming
46:33To town
46:35He's got eight billion toys on his sleigh
46:40He's packed, he's coming your way
46:44Santa
46:45It's coming to town
46:50Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
46:54Bang! Merry Christmas!
46:55Yeah!
47:03Let's go WOODRUFF
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