- 6 hours ago
Two Doors Down - Season 7 Episode 100 -
(special) 2025 Christmas Special
(special) 2025 Christmas Special
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Tree down while I'm up here.
00:01Yes, all right. I suppose we could.
00:03Right. I'll pass it down to you. Ready?
00:05Give me a minute.
00:10Just wash yourself with it.
00:11Yes, all right, Eric. I'm not totally useless.
00:21Are they okay?
00:23Yep. All fine.
00:30Do you not think it's a bit early to put it up?
00:44I mean, it's not even December yet.
00:45It's fine. Who's got to notice?
00:53Christine.
00:53That's me definitely going.
00:55Going where?
00:56To Ireland.
00:57And for God's sake, Beth, do you not listen to a thing I tell you?
01:01Of course I do.
01:03We're in the middle of a big clear art and I'm just a wee bit busy.
01:05Right, okay.
01:06I'll come in and I'll talk you through the arrangements.
01:09But I cannot stay long.
01:12Right.
01:15You putting your Christmas tree up?
01:18It's a bit early, is it, no?
01:21Yes, well, we were up in the loft anyway,
01:23so we just thought we might as well.
01:25Oh, you see, I always follow what the church does
01:29and they put it up 12 days before.
01:31No, you're thinking of 12th night.
01:33That's when you take it down.
01:35Yes, the church puts theirs up on the first Sunday of December.
01:39Do they?
01:40Well, that's awful early.
01:42I think I'll have to have a word with Father Haggerty about that.
01:45I don't think it was ever up that early on Father Kowalski's day,
01:50but he really was a religious man.
01:53Where is it he is now?
01:54B&Q in its hill.
01:57But I don't think I'll bother putting up a tree this year,
02:00what with me not being here.
02:01What's this?
02:02I'm going to visit my cousin Dervla in Ireland for Christmas, Eric.
02:06Oh, it's fantastic, Christine.
02:08It's so nice that they made contact with you.
02:10Oh, I know, Beth.
02:12And to think, if Dervla hadn't sent that saliva sample off to Ancestry.com,
02:18we might never have known that we were related.
02:22Imagine if she'd had a dry mouth that day.
02:26And whereabouts are they?
02:27County Galway, Eric.
02:29I get the train to Stronra,
02:31a ferry to Larn,
02:33a bus into Belfast,
02:35and then coach down to Galway.
02:37Oh, bet you'd trek that.
02:39So, will it be Dervla's whole family?
02:41Oh, yes.
02:42Her husband Owen,
02:44now he's got his own plumbing business,
02:46so I will be looking forward to a bath.
02:49That's definitely on the list.
02:51And then there's her twin girls,
02:53Maeve and Aoife.
02:55It'll be nice to meet them,
02:57because they're actually my,
02:58what is it,
02:59my first cousins?
03:01No, no, no.
03:01Second.
03:03Oh, aye.
03:04I'm forgetting they're twins.
03:05Well, you'll have a great time, I'm sure.
03:09Oh, I hope so, Eric.
03:11I must say I'm looking forward to it.
03:13Although it will be strange
03:15not being at home on Christmas Day.
03:18I know you're always keen to have me in here, Beth,
03:22so I do feel a bit guilty
03:24that I might be letting you down.
03:26Are you sure you're OK with me going?
03:29You're all right.
03:29You'll be fine.
03:30Well, I think it's time
03:31we get down to discussing
03:33what bag I'm taking, eh?
03:34Ah, well, the thing is, Christine...
03:36Oh, who's this interrupting us?
03:46That's no you
03:46get your Christmas tree up already,
03:48is it, Beth?
03:49Beth?
03:49Well, I...
03:50It's a bit early, is it, no?
03:52Well, we were up in the loft.
03:53Do you know what?
03:54Just let her do it, Col.
03:55We'll brighten up that dingy front room.
03:57Suppose so.
03:58It's OK, Beth, that's fine.
04:00If it gives you something
04:01I'll look forward to, that's OK.
04:03Should we go in and see it?
04:04Oh.
04:04She'll be put out if we don't.
04:06Do you know what she's like?
04:07Right.
04:08We'll just come in for a minute
04:09and see it, Beth.
04:14Apparently,
04:15the cooked breakfasts
04:16on board the Stena line
04:18are excellent, huh?
04:20Irene up the high flats told me
04:22they serve a black pudding
04:24that is technically illegal on dry land.
04:27Ah, here he is.
04:29Wee elf here
04:30helping you paint your tree up, Beth.
04:33He's far too big for an elf, Col.
04:35And there's Christine.
04:37How you doing?
04:38Oh, not bad, Colin.
04:40That is me all booked up
04:41for Ireland for Christmas.
04:43You're going to Ireland
04:44for Christmas, are you?
04:46Oh, yes.
04:46I'm staying with my cousin,
04:48Devla,
04:48in Galway.
04:50Oh, that's nice.
04:51You're not going to be here, Christine.
04:53You'll be having a bit
04:54of the black stuff over there, eh?
04:56Remember, we went to the Guinness factory
04:57when we were in Dublin, Kath.
04:59Oh, God, that place.
05:00Oh, I will not be going back there.
05:02Oh, why not?
05:03Only serve as fucking Guinness.
05:05So is this you getting
05:06on set for Christmas then?
05:08What's the plans?
05:09Oh, well, nothing special.
05:11It's just the two of us,
05:12so just, you know, traditional.
05:15Traditional?
05:16Well, you've not made a very good start
05:17putting your tree up
05:18this fucking early.
05:19And what about you two?
05:22Do you know what you're doing?
05:22We're going to that same hotel again
05:24on Christmas Day
05:25cos we quite like it, don't we?
05:27It's really festive
05:28how they decorate it all.
05:29And you get steak instead of turkey,
05:32a cocktail instead of Christmas pudding,
05:34and there's a massive smoking section
05:36out by the nativity.
05:37The problem we've got is
05:38we don't know what presents to get.
05:40Well, I'm fine just with money.
05:43No, I mean, for each other.
05:46Yeah, we're not getting you anything, Eric.
05:47See, we've already caught everything, haven't we?
05:50Oh, poor you, right enough.
05:52I always get caught in pants for Christmas,
05:54but I can't get any more in the drawer.
05:55No.
05:56And you can't exactly take the old ones
05:57to the charity shop, can you?
05:59No, they don't take them.
06:01Well, certainly the British Heart Foundation don't.
06:04Though Irene did tell me about a website
06:06where there seems to be quite a lot of interest.
06:10We were just going up to the charity shop
06:13once we'd finished the tree.
06:14Are you getting yourself something, Beth?
06:15Well, it is finished, really,
06:17apart from turning on the lights.
06:19OK, then.
06:20Let's see the big switch on.
06:22Come on, Eric.
06:23I'll puff your fat arse.
06:27Here, Beth.
06:28This reminds me of that time
06:30we saw Marty Pelo switch on the lights
06:32in Clyde Bank.
06:33Do you remember that, Beth?
06:34I do.
06:35I'm not actually sure whether he was on the heroin
06:38at that point,
06:38because we were quite far back, you know?
06:41Right.
06:42We all ready?
06:42Aye.
06:43Yeah.
06:43Come on, Eric.
06:44Oh, my God.
06:47Oh, my God.
06:48Well, you know,
06:50you can always stop by the dump as well.
07:02Don't know how much longer
07:03I'm going to manage getting in and out of this seat, Alan.
07:05You're about to start getting in the back?
07:07No, I mean,
07:08you might not get a card
07:09or get on my insurance or something.
07:11Aye.
07:11Right, right.
07:12I'm really starting to struggle on the stairs as well.
07:15You may be sharp to Jim too soon.
07:21Look!
07:22Beth's got her Christmas tree up.
07:24Think we should go over and say a wee quick hello
07:26and see it?
07:27We've got a nice picture of us in front of the Oscar Wilde statue in Dublin, haven't we?
07:35Aye.
07:36Oh, you know,
07:36my favourite quote of his
07:38is when he was going through customs in America
07:40and he said,
07:41I have nothing to declare but my genius.
07:47Well, I prefer the statue of Morley Malone.
07:50You go up,
07:51rubber tits brings you luck.
07:52Oh, for God's sake.
07:54It did as well.
07:55We went to Temple Bar after that.
07:57We didn't get hassled by one beggar.
07:59I'll go.
08:08Oh, hello, you two.
08:10Or should that be two and a half?
08:12She's some size new in Cherrick.
08:15Train to Stranraer,
08:17ferry to Larn,
08:18bus to Belfast,
08:19coach to Galway.
08:20My God,
08:21I need a flight to Switzerland after that.
08:24That's a proper Irish road trip, that.
08:26It is, Colin.
08:27But, you know,
08:28I now feel I've got a really deep connection to Ireland
08:32now that I know for sure
08:33that I've got Irish blood in me.
08:36If you're going to Galway,
08:37would you know me better flying to Shannon?
08:40There's that.
08:41Oh, hi, Michelle.
08:43Hi, Alan.
08:44Hi.
08:45Hello, everyone.
08:46Sorry to just appear at your door, Beth.
08:49Don't worry about that.
08:50No-one else does.
08:51How are you, Michelle?
08:53Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
08:55Just so tired all the time.
08:57Oh, yeah, you do look really knackered.
09:00Come and sit down, Michelle.
09:02Come on.
09:02Hey, there we go.
09:05Sit down, yeah.
09:06There's you, Alan, eh?
09:08Everything all right?
09:09Aye, all right.
09:11Just back for the garage with the van.
09:12Oh, no.
09:13Something wrong with it?
09:14Somebody ran into the back of me, Eric.
09:16Oh, my God.
09:17What happened?
09:18Were you eating a sausage roll
09:19while you were driving, Alan?
09:21No, I was coming off the motorway
09:22to go through the tunnel
09:23and it was a wee jam,
09:24so I had to slow right down.
09:26Next thing I know,
09:27somebody's run into the back of me.
09:29And they'd be on their phone, no doubt.
09:32Aye.
09:32And see the force of it?
09:33Mine's flew right out of my hand,
09:34under the seat.
09:36They took their time
09:36fixing it at the garage, didn't they?
09:38Yeah.
09:39Alan was late picking me up
09:40from my antenatal class.
09:41Oh, no.
09:42Aye, it's fine, Beth.
09:43You can't see the dent at all.
09:47So, anyway, how are you guys doing?
09:48How's Ian?
09:49Oh, he's fine, aye.
09:51He's coming over
09:52to have a look through his old stuff
09:53before we junk it.
09:54Are you trying to get rid
09:55of every trace of him, Eric?
09:57Have you any baby stuff, Eric?
09:59Because maybe Alan and Michelle
10:00might want that.
10:01I remember she used to have them
10:03in a lot of brown, Michelle.
10:05Eric, it's fine.
10:06I've ordered loads of stuff
10:08already, actually.
10:09You know, the wee baby grows
10:11and the jammies
10:12and the wee onesies.
10:14They're just all so cute, aren't they?
10:16Oh, they are, Michelle.
10:18Well, until they soil them.
10:21Have you made any decisions
10:22on names, Michelle?
10:23No, because we still can't seem
10:25to agree on anything, can we?
10:27But, if it's a boy,
10:30I like the name Lewis.
10:31Good Scottish name, that.
10:34I don't think it says
10:35a bit like Lewis, though, Eric.
10:37And are you definitely sure
10:39you don't want to find out
10:40what you're having, Michelle?
10:42I mean, that would make it
10:43a bit easier.
10:45No, I just don't want to know.
10:47No, I'm not that interested
10:48either, Michelle.
10:51Can I get you a tea
10:52or a glass of water or something?
10:53I'd take a water off you
10:55if it's not too much trouble, Beth.
10:56What about the rest of us, Beth?
10:58I hear, have you got any mince pies?
11:01We could be a tea
11:02and a mince pie, I'd be nice.
11:04Well, the thing is...
11:05Why? A tea and a mince pie?
11:06I wouldn't say no.
11:07First of the season.
11:08I fucking hate mince pies.
11:10Have you got the ones
11:11with the brandy in them, Beth?
11:12Well, I'll take one of them, though.
11:14No, you see...
11:15You know, I love the ones
11:16with all the cream on the top.
11:17Oh, have you tried them?
11:18Oh, I like the sound of them.
11:20Have you got any of them, Beth?
11:21I haven't got any mince pies.
11:24Oh, God.
11:24Aw.
11:26You cannae invite us all in here
11:28saying it's the start of Christmas
11:30and know of any Christmas stuff in for us.
11:32We didn't do that.
11:34You've got your tree up, Eric.
11:35You know, that sends a message.
11:37It's like the swingers
11:38with the pampas grass.
11:39Yes, Eric.
11:40Shut your face.
11:42Is that really a thing,
11:43that, the pampas grass?
11:44I thought it was just, like,
11:45one of those things folks say.
11:46Oh, no, no, no, no.
11:47There's a couple round
11:48the new bulbs that had it
11:49and they were very, very active.
11:52Apparently.
11:53Beth, don't worry about the water.
11:55Actually, I'm fine.
11:56Aye, and it makes a baby kick
11:57then she goes on about it.
11:59Don't be daft.
12:00Of course I'll get you a glass of water
12:01and I'm happy to do teas and coffees
12:04for anyone who's wanting.
12:05I just don't have any mince pies.
12:08I mean, we were just clearing out the loft,
12:12not declaring that it was officially Christmas.
12:14I mean, I'd like to have the power to do that
12:17but I'm afraid I don't.
12:18OK?
12:23Beth, you don't even have
12:26a wee tub of celebrations
12:27or nothing, no?
12:28A bit early with the tree, are you not?
12:46What, is it just feeling Christmassy?
12:48I wish we'd never bothered, to be honest.
12:54Quality street is what I used to get
12:56when it was just Sophie and me, you know?
12:59Oh, the green ones were my favourite.
13:02I used to love them.
13:03No, I'm not a bit Sophie.
13:04What ones were hers?
13:05Oh, the other ones.
13:08All right.
13:09Not like you to have a house full.
13:11Aye, son.
13:11How are you, Ian?
13:12How are you, Dad?
13:13How are you, Colin?
13:13How are you, Kathy?
13:14How are you doing, Ian?
13:15Oh, I'm fine.
13:16How are you guys?
13:17Everything OK?
13:18Yeah, I'm fine.
13:18Not really, Ian.
13:19Just feeling...
13:19Somebody went into the back of my van.
13:21Oh, no.
13:22I know.
13:23I'll just get it back today.
13:24You weren't in it at the time, were you?
13:25No.
13:26Oh, well, it could have been worse.
13:27Oh, you're saying that,
13:28but that was two full days it was after odd.
13:33Anyway, how are you doing, Ian?
13:34How's Gordon?
13:35Aye, he's good.
13:36He's coming over here to meet me after college.
13:38Oh, is he still enjoying it?
13:39Oh, aye, he's loving it.
13:41I'm not loving being the only one earning, no?
13:42No.
13:43And you're being a very poor wage as it is, Ian.
13:45What did he pack his job in for anyway, Ian?
13:50Oh, basically, he just wasn't happy.
13:52Oh, you see, this is the new thing, isn't it?
13:55You don't like something, you just stop doing it.
13:59Never used to be like that.
14:00No, you just kept going.
14:02That was your lot.
14:03You just had to accept it.
14:05Like you with Eric, Beth.
14:07Right, listen, you want to look through this stuff from the loft
14:10before we throw it out?
14:11All right, now.
14:12Oh.
14:12OK, where is it?
14:13I'll go and get it.
14:15So, what are you and Gordon up to for Christmas, then?
14:19Oh, just having a quiet one, to be honest.
14:21We did invite them, but they said no.
14:23Oh, Gordon's got an assignment to do over the holidays.
14:26Sort of taking over everything at the minute.
14:28And what's it on?
14:29That's the thing.
14:29He can't make up his mind.
14:31Do you think he's quite a weak person, Ian?
14:34We get rid of a lot of other stuff,
14:36but we weren't sure whether he'd want to keep any of this.
14:41God, my old laptop.
14:43I remember the year you got me this.
14:46I remember going to Curry's out at Renfrew to get it.
14:49Oh, that is a nice store, that.
14:52Me and Pat went there to get Sophie her Game Boy.
14:56That was a big present that year.
14:58Did you get her one?
14:59No, they were sold out.
15:00So I just got her a lady shave instead.
15:02And if I remember right,
15:05I think Pat got some Hoover bags.
15:08God, I can remember taking the wrapping off it.
15:10Then straight upstairs and on to the porn, eh, Ian?
15:14Ian, gay porn on Christmas Day.
15:17We didn't want to just throw it out.
15:19No, no, no.
15:20Listen, he could have some good stuff in it, Eric.
15:22Look, I'll take this, but you can get rid of this.
15:24Oh, are you sure?
15:26That hat and scarf set was a present as well,
15:28and I don't think you've ever worn them.
15:31Ian.
15:32He was always a very ungrateful wee boy, Michelle.
15:37I remember I gave him a banana once,
15:39and he just threw it behind the hut.
15:42You'll need to get your mum something decent for that this year, Ian,
15:45to make up for that.
15:47Just get her a bottle of rosé, Ian.
15:49That's what we do.
15:50She always seems genuinely quite happy.
15:54Sorry, Mum.
15:55I'll take those as well.
15:56Oh, well, if you're sure.
15:58And if you don't like them, maybe Gordon will.
16:00Yeah, he's got no fashion sense at all, Ian.
16:03I still don't understand how he's starting college at his age.
16:08I mean, is he no too old?
16:10He's a mature student.
16:11Yeah, exactly.
16:13He's a mature student.
16:16Hello.
16:22How's it going?
16:24Are we going just now, or am I coming in?
16:26No, I'm coming in, aren't I?
16:27Righto.
16:30I get the train to Stranraer,
16:32ferry to Larne,
16:33bus to Belfast,
16:34coach down to Galway.
16:36That's a hurrier trip, that.
16:37Alan.
16:38It's a fair way, Alan,
16:40but when it is family,
16:42it is worth all the effort.
16:44Quite right.
16:44And, you know, you'll be like Santa
16:46coming down from the North Pole
16:47with your big sack of Christmas presents.
16:50I'll know you to buy them all presents, will I?
16:55Hi, Gordon.
16:56Oh, hiya, Gordon.
16:57Hi, hi.
16:58Gordon, what's that you've got on your head?
17:00Oh, it's my helmet.
17:01I came on my scooter.
17:03You came here by scooter?
17:05Er, yeah.
17:06I'll be one of those e-scooters.
17:08Ooh.
17:09Quite fancy one myself.
17:10Is that an e-scooter you've got, Gordon?
17:12No, it's just a regular one.
17:15Aw.
17:15Aw.
17:16Gordon, come here a minute.
17:18Come here.
17:19Yeah.
17:24That's you.
17:24It was, er,
17:26sticking up a bit.
17:27So, how's your course going, Gordon?
17:31Yeah, good.
17:32Yeah.
17:32What is it you're studying again?
17:34Sociology and literature.
17:35Oh, right.
17:36You're no bothered about getting a job after, are you?
17:40Ian says you've got an assignment to do.
17:42Oh, yeah.
17:43I haven't made up my mind what to do it on yet.
17:45It's meant to be something on cultural change,
17:47but it's such a big subject.
17:49Oh, God, yeah.
17:50What about Emmerdale going on to YouTube?
17:53I don't think that's the sort of thing
17:55Gordon's studying on his course, Christine.
17:58So, it's literature you're doing, is it?
18:01Tell you a good book.
18:03What's that one I read on holiday?
18:04Oh, fuck that.
18:06You wouldn't put that down.
18:07He was reading it in bed.
18:08I know.
18:08I got right into it, so I did.
18:10I know what it was.
18:10It was Duncan Bannatine's Autobiography.
18:13You read that, Gordon?
18:15Er, no.
18:16What about Maeve Binchy?
18:17You read any hers?
18:18It's all set in Ireland.
18:20They'll not be doing Maeve Binchy books
18:22in the literature course.
18:23I know it.
18:24There's fucking tons of them.
18:27I see you've got your Christmas tree up, Mrs Bed.
18:30Well, it's awful early, is it not, Gordon?
18:33You've not got yours up, have you?
18:35Well, no.
18:36It's also shit.
18:38Look at the state of it.
18:40It'll look great when you've got
18:41the rest of the decorations up.
18:44You're not saying this is it, are you?
18:46Well, we were having a clear out
18:48and there was decorations there
18:49that we'd had for years.
18:51They were a bit tatty.
18:53Erm, if you throw out everything tatty,
18:55you're not going to have anything left.
18:57Oh, Beth, we've got absolutely loads
18:59of Christmas decorations
19:00if you want some, haven't we, Alan?
19:01Aye.
19:02She can't go past them in a short
19:03without buying them.
19:05It's the same with toilet rolls.
19:06You've both got hundreds of them.
19:08I know.
19:09That's very kind, Michelle.
19:10Look, we've got piles of old ones as well.
19:12Aye, you could always have mine, Beth,
19:14since I'm going to be in Ireland.
19:17Alan, are we going to get some
19:18for Beth and Eric?
19:19Michelle, no, we...
19:20Oh, honestly, Eric, it's fine.
19:22We've got way more than we've got room
19:23to put up, so...
19:24Come on, Eric, it's fucking miserable in here.
19:33Are we ready?
19:34Yes, come on.
19:35OK.
19:35That's proper Christmassy now, isn't it?
19:45Well, not till we get a bottle open.
19:49What about you boys?
19:51Shh, won't tell anyone
19:53you're driving your scooter drunk, Gordon.
19:55Em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em.
19:59Yeah, I'll take one,
20:00if that's OK with you, Michelle.
20:01Oh, yeah, you guys go ahead.
20:03I'll just stick to my water.
20:04Oh, did you not realise
20:06that being pregnant
20:06was going to be really boring, Michelle?
20:10Is it OK if I have a lager?
20:11Of course it is, Alan.
20:13Are you just saying that now
20:14and you'll give me a row later?
20:16Or do you really mean it?
20:18I think I've got a bottle of fizz
20:20in the fridge.
20:21Woo!
20:22You know when I think
20:23it feels like Christmas is coming?
20:25When you hear the Christmas songs
20:26on the radio.
20:27Yeah, I love Christmas songs.
20:30Eric, have you got that Christmas album?
20:32Aye, I think I do.
20:33Aye, as long as you haven't
20:34been throwing it out.
20:35Yes, Eric, you big stupid donkey.
20:38So when is it you're off
20:39to Ireland, Christine?
20:41Oh, not until the 21st, Michelle.
20:44Oh, God, it's just so exciting.
20:46You're going to have
20:46such a brilliant time.
20:48We loved Dublin, didn't we?
20:49We were saying earlier, Alan,
20:51that the Guinness that you get
20:52in the Guinness factory
20:53isn't like anywhere else.
20:55Aye, it's 20 fucking euro.
20:56All right, everyone, long run.
21:07Beth.
21:10Sorry, Michelle.
21:11Oh, Beth, don't worry.
21:13I'm fine.
21:13I'll eat my water.
21:15It's all right, Michelle.
21:15You can get pissed again
21:16once the baby's here.
21:18Well, this is a bit more like it, eh?
21:20Cheers, everybody.
21:21Cheers.
21:21Here, Beth, could you go
21:26and get me that wee glass that I like?
21:29I don't like the way
21:30this one feels in my hand.
21:36Here, I hope you won't be
21:38so fussed over on Ireland, Christine,
21:39but they'll send you back.
21:43Dad, stick it on to the next song.
21:46I can't be bothered
21:46with this one.
21:47It goes on for ages.
21:47Oh, no, no, no, Cole.
21:52No, no, no, I hate this one.
21:53Get it off.
21:54She hates this.
21:55Why do you not like it, Kathy?
21:56I don't like the sound
21:57of children singing, Gordon.
22:01Now, this, this is a classic.
22:04Oh, does this one
22:05not do your head in?
22:06Would you not like it, Alan?
22:07Oh, it's all right,
22:08but you hear it
22:09everywhere you go, don't you?
22:10It is a bit ubiquitous, yeah.
22:14I'll tell you one
22:14you hear everywhere.
22:16Band-Aid.
22:16Oh, it was amazing
22:18what they did with that.
22:20Yes.
22:21Although, there is a bit
22:23of a backlash against it now.
22:25Against Band-Aid?
22:26Is it because Bono's a wank?
22:28Alan.
22:29It is, but...
22:30It's just, they think
22:31it maybe did more harm
22:32than good,
22:33because it made people feel
22:34they'd solved the problem
22:35of global inequality,
22:36when, in actual fact,
22:37it's worsened
22:38with the impact
22:39of climate change.
22:40Plus, there's the whole
22:41white saviour thing,
22:43which is quite toxic as well.
22:44I didn't realise
22:48it was so controversial.
22:49Well, it's an interesting debate.
22:51I personally think that...
22:53This is the best one ever.
22:57Oh, I do like this.
22:58What is it?
22:59The Polk's.
23:00Shane McGowan.
23:02Always pissed.
23:03Oh, him, yes.
23:04There's a couple of names
23:05for you, Michelle.
23:06What?
23:07Well, Shane for a boy
23:08or Kirsty for a girl.
23:09Oh, a good Irish name,
23:11that, Michelle.
23:12Shane.
23:14Actually, I quite like those.
23:16Aye.
23:18Wee Shane Edgar.
23:19Sounds good, doesn't it?
23:20Poor Kirsty.
23:21Aye, that's all right, I know.
23:24Here, Christine.
23:25This is the one
23:26where the choir's singing
23:27Galway Bay.
23:28That's where you'll be
23:29at Christmas.
23:30Oh, here, so it is.
23:32Christine,
23:33it's just going to feel
23:34really weird
23:35you being away
23:35at your cousin's
23:36for Christmas.
23:39Beth.
23:45Do you think
23:46it's going to be okay?
23:48What do you mean?
23:49We going to dare for us
23:51because...
23:52Well, it's just
23:52I know that
23:53sometimes
23:54I can be
23:56a wee bit demanding.
23:58Oh, Christine.
23:59What if they end up
24:00wishing they'd ever
24:01made contact with me
24:02and kind of wait
24:03to see the back of me?
24:04You're going to have
24:05a wonderful time.
24:07Christmas is for families
24:08and they're your family.
24:10They're going to be
24:11thrilled you're there.
24:12Do you think so?
24:13Yes.
24:18Here, Beth.
24:19You know how I'm getting
24:21the train to Stranra
24:22and then getting the ferry?
24:23Yes.
24:24Train to Stranra,
24:26ferry to Larne,
24:27bus to Belfast
24:28and coach to Galloway.
24:30You okay to give me
24:31a lift into the station?
24:32Yes.
24:35You okay there, Gordon?
24:36Any problem with this song?
24:38Well, it depends
24:39which version it is.
24:40What?
24:41Well, there's a word
24:43in the song
24:43that's quite offensive, so...
24:45What word?
24:46Well, I don't really
24:47want to say it.
24:48I think I know what it is.
24:49What is it, Beth?
24:50Is it scumbag?
24:51What is wrong with scumbag?
24:52It rhymes with maggot.
24:54It rhymes with maggot?
24:56Maybe just forward it
24:57on to the next one.
24:58What rhymes with maggot?
25:00I know.
25:00I know!
25:02What is it?
25:03It begins with an F, Christine.
25:06Fuck with it.
25:07Look, maybe just
25:08put it off, Dad.
25:10What is it?
25:15What's wrong with that?
25:16It's quite offensive,
25:18especially to gay people.
25:19I thought it was Poofter
25:21was the one
25:21that he's done like.
25:23Look, it's getting to the point
25:24you cannae say anything
25:25without offending someone.
25:27Oh, here we go.
25:28Well, it's ridiculous.
25:29I mean, you cannae even
25:30have a bit of homophobic
25:32swearing in a Christmas song
25:33any more.
25:35I think it's more
25:36we're just becoming
25:37more aware of how
25:38the things we say
25:39impact on other people
25:41and a recognition
25:42that some terms
25:43that were once
25:43in common usage
25:44were, in fact,
25:45offensive, frankly.
25:47We should probably
25:48make a move.
25:49What other words
25:49can we not say, Gordon?
25:51Well, it's not up to me.
25:53What about Fanny?
25:55If someone was to call you
25:56a silly Fanny,
25:56would you be offended
25:57by that?
25:58Kathy.
25:59Well, I wouldn't
26:00really be offended,
26:01but, I mean,
26:01if we're going to get into it,
26:03I don't really think
26:03anyone should be using
26:04a female body part
26:05as an insult.
26:06Does that mean
26:07that you cannae say...
26:08Christine!
26:09What about Dick?
26:10Can you still call
26:11someone a Dick?
26:12That's less bad.
26:14Oh, thank God for that.
26:15I see that quite a lot,
26:16don't I?
26:17I may as well.
26:19Why is Dick
26:20not as bad, Gordon?
26:21Well, it's that men
26:23have historically been
26:24the dominant gender, so...
26:25What about wanker, Gordon?
26:27Because technically
26:28that's either, isn't it?
26:30Arsehole.
26:31You know,
26:31we've all got one of those.
26:33And where would the gays
26:33be without them?
26:34Oh, I really think
26:37we should head.
26:38You know what I think, Gordon?
26:40What?
26:42I think you should do
26:44your assignment on
26:45all of this.
26:47Language and all of that.
26:48How it's changed.
26:49You really know
26:51what you're talking about.
26:52Well, I don't think
26:53that's...
26:54I can't really see
26:57how that would...
26:59Actually, that's
27:01a really good idea.
27:08Don't forget
27:08your hat and scarf.
27:09Ah, yeah.
27:11See about that.
27:12Do you mind
27:13if we don't do presents
27:14this year?
27:15Oh, right.
27:16Yeah, it's just
27:17we're a bit skint this year
27:18with me being at college.
27:20Is that why
27:21you're not coming over
27:21on Christmas Day?
27:25Kinda, yeah.
27:26Do not worry
27:27about presents
27:28but come over
27:29for dinner.
27:30We'd love to have you.
27:33Right, okay.
27:35Cheers, Mum.
27:38Um,
27:39no hugs
27:40for me, Gordon.
27:44Oh.
27:48That's a nice kiss
27:50for you as well.
27:53Bye.
28:01Oh!
28:03Is that your scooter,
28:04Gordon?
28:05Yeah.
28:05Oh!
28:06I wonder if Cole
28:07would like one of those.
28:08Oh, my God,
28:09I could get him one
28:09for his Christmas.
28:10Cole!
28:11Cole!
28:12Come and get a look
28:13at Gordon's scooter!
28:14What's happening?
28:16I think Cole's
28:17going to have a
28:17Gordon Gordon's scooter.
28:20Oh,
28:21I'd quite like
28:21to see that.
28:24I haven't been
28:25in one of these
28:26for years.
28:27Go on, Cole!
28:28He he he!
28:29Whee!
28:31Woo!
28:35Whoa!
28:37Oh!
28:39Oh,
28:40I'm a fucking van!
28:41The boys
28:44in the MIPD
28:45chorus
28:46The soon
28:47go away
28:48by
28:48And the
28:49bubbles
28:50are ringing
28:50out
28:51for Christmas
28:52Day
28:53And the
28:56falls
28:57at
28:58Bye
28:59and
29:01where
29:02are
29:02gentle
29:03and
29:04see you
29:06in His
29:13and
29:13in
29:13And
29:14Just
29:14move
29:15and
29:16come
29:17to
29:18an
29:18will
29:19in
29:19the
29:20way
29:21and
Be the first to comment