- 5 hours ago
Sally Lindsay's Quiz Night - Season 1 Episode 2 -
Christmas Quiz Night
Christmas Quiz Night
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00:00Christmas!
00:00:15Welcome to my Christmas quiz night and to everyone who left their outdoor lights up from last year.
00:00:21Well done. Your entire street has slagged you off for 11 months, but finally you showed them.
00:00:27My wonderful guests will be wrapping presents, watching some Christmas telly and blaming each other if someone on their team gets the question wrong.
00:00:36Just like a typical Christmas in their own houses.
00:00:39You can play along at home too, so pour yourself a tea, Maria.
00:00:42Take the cling film off your vollevents and let's get started.
00:00:46With comedian and author Shafi Kosandi, we have Fairy Godmother and Birds of a Feather star,
00:00:55Leslie Joseph, and her ugly sister, Dame Christopher Biggins.
00:00:59And with actor and comedian John Thompson, we have the lovely Debbie McGee,
00:01:07and the equally lovely comedian Stephen Bailey.
00:01:16Christopher, you've never had a Christmas at home, have you, when you've not even been in Panto?
00:01:21No, I'm always doing Panto, but I did do Christmas one year at my house and we had, I think, 14 people over.
00:01:28Who? And we managed to cook. We had tables all joined together and a great friend of mine,
00:01:32his mum sat opposite me and she wanted to go to the Leroy one particular point,
00:01:36and she got up and she was wearing a lovely paper hat and she put her head forward and hit a candle
00:01:41and the whole of her head went up in flames.
00:01:43Ha, ha, ha.
00:01:44La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:01:47Now, Leslie, what's going on here long?
00:01:49Biggins, actually, you and me. That's when we were, we were, we were doing tipping points, do you remember?
00:01:54I do.
00:01:55You've got a Christmas tradition, haven't you?
00:01:57Oh, I have, I have, I have. I love doing my own Christmas cards.
00:02:01And I've been doing it for about 25 years.
00:02:03So every year I find a picture that it might be me on a camel,
00:02:07it might be me outside number 10, it might be me with,
00:02:11I did one with my head upside down in a, in a bucket.
00:02:15I've just everything.
00:02:16Now!
00:02:17Just a quiet night at home with Leslie and a few friends.
00:02:23Chappie, what are your Christmas memories?
00:02:26Well, my mum and dad aren't, um, originally from this country,
00:02:30and they did not understand Christmas trees.
00:02:33My mum decorated a, an yucca plant that we had, and I was like, that's not it.
00:02:38She was like, well, you want to bring a tree in from the garden?
00:02:40I was like, no, you go, no, you go to the garden centre and you get a tree.
00:02:44And then I was telling her about Santa, and she was like, what, a man's coming down the chimney
00:02:48and leaving you presents.
00:02:49It's a bit mad when you think about it.
00:02:51It is a bit mad.
00:02:52So now that I'm an adult, because there was a bit of a deficit of a traditional Christmas,
00:02:56I go to town.
00:02:57Right, so this is what I mean.
00:02:59This was our Christmases.
00:03:01My mum and dad would make an effort by taking us to a friend's house,
00:03:04but nothing much would be going on.
00:03:06And I would just sit there, a bored 15-year-old, um,
00:03:09because I spent most of Christmas Day just reading on my own, really bored,
00:03:12with no presents.
00:03:13So that's literally your Christmas Day?
00:03:15Literally, I was there all day.
00:03:16No Santa, nothing.
00:03:18John, here's you.
00:03:20Oh, Lord!
00:03:25So what did the Thompsons get up to at Christmas?
00:03:27We'd get together, we're a very small family,
00:03:29but I used to love Boxing Day, weren't some bananas,
00:03:31and it was always the same.
00:03:32Bingo, Beetle Drive, and indoor fireworks.
00:03:36That was brilliant.
00:03:37I loved it.
00:03:38Of the 80s.
00:03:39Yeah, yeah.
00:03:40Debbie, who do you have round at your house at Christmas?
00:03:42Well, it's always a big family affair,
00:03:44but Christmas morning we have a big tradition.
00:03:46What's that?
00:03:47Whiskey porridge.
00:03:49Anyone have whiskey porridge?
00:03:51Why have I never done that?
00:03:52Years ago...
00:03:53What happens?
00:03:54Well, years ago, Paul and I were staying in the Lake District,
00:03:56and it was at one of those hotels that you had to eat what they gave you.
00:03:59There wasn't a choice.
00:04:00Yeah.
00:04:01And breakfast was whiskey porridge,
00:04:03and we said, right, we're going to steal that for Christmas morning.
00:04:05I think we'll be doing that.
00:04:07Even, my darling, you're named after my favourite part of Christmas, Baileys.
00:04:12Any festive traditions in your family?
00:04:14Um, yes.
00:04:15When we were kids, my cousin always made us dress up as elves,
00:04:18with like a bin bag, and we had to go around and give out the presents.
00:04:21Oh, there he is!
00:04:22Look!
00:04:23That is so cute!
00:04:24I just love that we've gone to that much effort,
00:04:26but then, with a sack, we've just gone, get a bag.
00:04:29Do you know what?
00:04:30We've done the costumes.
00:04:31We'll just do a bin bag.
00:04:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:33Anyway, enough of that.
00:04:34This is supposed to be a quiz, so I'm about to give you some questions,
00:04:37and I would like to receive some correct answers.
00:04:40Shappie, your team's first.
00:04:42In an old-style box of Quality Streets, which one is the blue one?
00:04:47Purple.
00:04:48Oh, purple.
00:04:49Oh, um, coconut.
00:04:50Which one is the blue one?
00:04:51Oh.
00:04:52As I'm dressed as a Quality Streets, I can confidently say coconut.
00:04:56Shappie, well done.
00:04:58Look at you.
00:04:59Now we're sweet.
00:05:00The coconut one, a.k.a. the one that goes straight in the bin.
00:05:03LAUGHTER
00:05:04Now, John's team.
00:05:06What item has been made annually on TV for more than 60 years
00:05:11and requires galvanised wire, pliers, four peppercorn canister lids,
00:05:17fireproof tinsel, four candles and four coat hangers?
00:05:20Go on.
00:05:21It's the Blue Peter Advent Crown.
00:05:24Yes!
00:05:25Well done.
00:05:26Well done.
00:05:27It was a flamethron since it.
00:05:29That is team.
00:05:30What has this building got to do with Christmas?
00:05:33Oh, Home Alone.
00:05:34Home Alone, yes.
00:05:35Yes, it's the house from Home Alone, and in case you want to visit it,
00:05:39it's on Lincoln Avenue in Chicago, Illinois, and you'll spot it
00:05:43because it's the one with a massive fence outside that says,
00:05:46please, for the love of God, leave us alone.
00:05:48LAUGHTER
00:05:49Since 1979, what has been released annually in time for Christmas
00:05:53and has sold more than two million copies in total
00:05:56and occasionally contains topless photos?
00:05:59Is it a calendar?
00:06:00Calendar.
00:06:01Calendar.
00:06:02Which one?
00:06:03Oh.
00:06:04Chippendales.
00:06:05Not a bad answer.
00:06:06That's not a bad answer.
00:06:07Not a bad answer, is it?
00:06:08Pirelli tyres.
00:06:09Oh.
00:06:10They used to be famous.
00:06:11Pirelli tyres.
00:06:12Nearly.
00:06:13Cliff Richard.
00:06:14Oh!
00:06:15Oh, how amazing is that?
00:06:17I thought you were going to say a different kind of tyre then.
00:06:20Yeah.
00:06:21Can we have half a point for calendar?
00:06:23Yes.
00:06:24OK.
00:06:25Which shopping guide, first published in 1973,
00:06:27was at one time the most widely printed publication in Europe?
00:06:31Shopping guide.
00:06:32Shopping guide.
00:06:33Littlewoods.
00:06:34Woolworths.
00:06:35Littlewoods.
00:06:36Argos.
00:06:37Argos, yes.
00:06:38Yes.
00:06:39It was the Argos catalogue.
00:06:40Yay.
00:06:41Who used to pore over the Argos catalogue when you...
00:06:43Oh, we all do.
00:06:44Used to circle it all, mate.
00:06:45Yes.
00:06:46I used to circle it all.
00:06:47It wasn't really Christmas if you didn't circle every single toy in the Argos catalogue,
00:06:50only for your parents to just laugh in your face.
00:06:52LAUGHTER
00:06:53OK.
00:06:54According to the rarely seen introduction to the film, this is really unusual, this,
00:06:58which music legend did the little boy in the snowman apparently grow up to be?
00:07:03I didn't know this.
00:07:04Don't he become Alan Jones?
00:07:06No, that's who sings on it.
00:07:08LAUGHTER
00:07:09I just think the clue is in the word rarely seen, and I haven't seen it.
00:07:13LAUGHTER
00:07:15Has anybody?
00:07:16Has anyone?
00:07:17No.
00:07:18Oh, one person knows it.
00:07:19Bowie.
00:07:20Bowie.
00:07:21Bowie.
00:07:22David Bowie.
00:07:23Yes, it was, but you didn't get it.
00:07:24No, we didn't.
00:07:25Let's have a look at a wistful Bowie rocking a Christmas jumper,
00:07:29charmingly weaving a nostalgic tale from his old attic.
00:07:32This attic's full of memories for me.
00:07:37We spent all our summers by the seaside,
00:07:40and in winter, at home, by the fire.
00:07:44Frost on the window,
00:07:46and snow.
00:07:48Snowballs and making snowmen.
00:07:53One winter I met a really big snowman.
00:07:56He got this scarf for me.
00:07:59You see, he was a real snowman.
00:08:09Unbelievable.
00:08:10Now, I've got to stop here,
00:08:11because I've just heard that young Leslie Joseph here worked with him.
00:08:15He was the first person I ever worked with.
00:08:17When I left drama school in 1967,
00:08:19my agent there, Michael Summonson, said,
00:08:21would you like to do a television?
00:08:22Which I've never done.
00:08:23I'd only just left drama school.
00:08:24And I said, yes, I'd love to.
00:08:25He said, well, I've got somebody else to do it with you.
00:08:27And we used to travel out to Teddington every day.
00:08:30And he always used to say,
00:08:31come and see Angie and me at the Arts Lab.
00:08:33Come and see Angie and me at the Arts Lab.
00:08:35And he wasn't known as David Bowie then.
00:08:37And I always said, yes, I will.
00:08:38And I never did.
00:08:39And it was David Bowie.
00:08:40He was the first person I ever worked with.
00:08:42Leslie!
00:08:43That's unbelievable.
00:08:44First person I ever worked with was Kerry Katona.
00:08:46LAUGHTER
00:08:49OK, teams.
00:08:50Time for the Christmassy mystery box.
00:08:57John!
00:08:58Johnny's Bean!
00:08:59Ooh!
00:09:01Santa's delivered you a present, John.
00:09:03And in your box are three Christmas items.
00:09:06I'd like you to reach inside.
00:09:07And without looking,
00:09:08you've got to describe them to your mates
00:09:10and you get a point for each one.
00:09:12They correctly identify.
00:09:13Now, for our viewers at home,
00:09:15here's what's in the box.
00:09:16If you don't want to know,
00:09:17look away now.
00:09:22OK, John.
00:09:23Now, I'm getting,
00:09:24I've got a jar,
00:09:26a glass jar,
00:09:27with a teaspoon in it.
00:09:29So, I'm guessing,
00:09:31the number one condiment
00:09:32on the Christmas table...
00:09:34Cranberry.
00:09:35Cranberry.
00:09:36Well done.
00:09:37Oh, right.
00:09:38OK.
00:09:39I was thinking jam.
00:09:40Right.
00:09:42It's popular,
00:09:43it's a popular confectionery
00:09:46in pastry.
00:09:48Oh, mince pie.
00:09:50Correct.
00:09:51Well done.
00:09:52Well, I don't know,
00:09:53I'm saying correct.
00:09:54My fingers know.
00:09:56Right, that's that.
00:09:58I've done that one.
00:09:59Oh, hello.
00:10:00Oh, right.
00:10:01So,
00:10:02it's what your mum and dad said,
00:10:03that they only got one of these
00:10:05in their stocking
00:10:06and a few nuts.
00:10:08Cranberry.
00:10:10Yes.
00:10:13Well done.
00:10:14I believe that everyone's
00:10:15mum and dad has done that.
00:10:16Yeah.
00:10:17Three points there,
00:10:18it was a satsuma.
00:10:19Minced pie and some cranberry sauce.
00:10:20OK, Shappie,
00:10:21the Christmassy mystery box
00:10:22has travelled on Santa's sleigh
00:10:24to your desk.
00:10:25For our viewers at home,
00:10:26here's what's in the box.
00:10:28OK, Shappie,
00:10:30have a feel and see if you can
00:10:31describe your team,
00:10:32what the three items are.
00:10:33Remember,
00:10:34they're all Christmassy foods.
00:10:35All right,
00:10:36there's a bowl of something.
00:10:37OK.
00:10:38Ah,
00:10:39now,
00:10:40everyone pretends that they like these,
00:10:41but they're a bit like Marmites.
00:10:42Sprouts?
00:10:43No,
00:10:44I mean,
00:10:45they literally taste of Marmite.
00:10:46They're like,
00:10:47they look like little sticks.
00:10:48Oh,
00:10:49I like them.
00:10:50Do you like them?
00:10:51Yes.
00:10:52They've dried the roof of your neck.
00:10:53That's it.
00:10:54Well done,
00:10:55yes.
00:10:56Well done,
00:10:57yes.
00:10:58Well done,
00:10:59biggie.
00:11:00Well done,
00:11:01biggie.
00:11:02Yeah.
00:11:03Now I'm picking up something cold.
00:11:04Oh,
00:11:05hello.
00:11:06Also,
00:11:07also in a bowl.
00:11:08Oh,
00:11:09I want to put my hand in it,
00:11:10it's going to be squashy.
00:11:11Oh,
00:11:12that's very creamy at the top,
00:11:13and then a bit...
00:11:14that is,
00:11:15I mean,
00:11:16if that's not trifle,
00:11:17I don't want to hear what it is.
00:11:18Is it trifle?
00:11:19Oh,
00:11:20well done.
00:11:21Oh,
00:11:22okay.
00:11:23Right,
00:11:24oh,
00:11:25is another bowl.
00:11:26I'm really scared to put my hand in it.
00:11:27Oh,
00:11:28these are warm,
00:11:29and they're round.
00:11:30Sausages?
00:11:31No.
00:11:32They're like...
00:11:33Like little balls.
00:11:34Like little balls.
00:11:35Scotchery?
00:11:36No.
00:11:37I've put my thumb in it.
00:11:38I've put my thumb in this warm,
00:11:40mushy,
00:11:41um,
00:11:42ball.
00:11:43Yeah,
00:11:44it's like a,
00:11:45a sap.
00:11:46Stuffing?
00:11:47Oh,
00:11:48that'll be it.
00:11:49It's a stuffing,
00:11:50it's a stuffing ball.
00:11:51Congratulations,
00:11:52three points there.
00:11:53Yes,
00:11:54it was a trifle,
00:11:55stuffing balls,
00:11:56and some twiglets.
00:11:57Okay,
00:11:58who wants to see how twiglets are made?
00:11:59Yes.
00:12:00Yes, me too.
00:12:01But instead,
00:12:02let's watch some illuminating footage of Mr Bean
00:12:04using his trademark creative thinking
00:12:07to make some twiglet alternatives.
00:12:13and a half,
00:12:14and
00:12:15Shaq
00:12:16and
00:12:17a half,
00:12:18and
00:12:19a half,
00:12:20and
00:12:21a half,
00:12:22and
00:12:23a half.
00:12:24at the end of that round,
00:12:40John's team,
00:12:41you've scored four and a half,
00:12:42and a half,
00:12:43and Shaq's team,
00:12:44you've scored six.
00:12:49It's nearly time for the break,
00:12:50but I'm feeling festive,
00:12:51so let's pull a cracker.
00:12:53Shaq and Biggings,
00:12:54do you want to start us off?
00:12:55Yes.
00:12:56Indeed.
00:12:57Right.
00:12:58It's behind you.
00:12:59Yes, it is behind me.
00:13:00Oh, no, it's not.
00:13:02That's the first one.
00:13:04Right, here we go.
00:13:05Ready?
00:13:06Oh, look, I've got it here.
00:13:08Magic.
00:13:09As if by magic.
00:13:11What do you call Santa
00:13:13if he forgets to wear underwear?
00:13:16Oh, well,
00:13:17we'll find out the punchline after the break.
00:13:20Welcome back.
00:13:35Before the break,
00:13:36we've pulled the cracker and asked,
00:13:37what do you call Santa
00:13:39if he forgets to wear underwear?
00:13:41Go on, Biggings,
00:13:42give us a punchline.
00:13:43Saint Nicholas.
00:13:45Oh, there we go.
00:13:47Beautiful, beautiful.
00:13:49Yes.
00:13:51This is a quiz about Christmas.
00:13:53And how do you know Christmas is coming?
00:13:55The first drop of snow?
00:13:57The sound of Mariah Carey's annual warble?
00:13:59No, the adverts.
00:14:01We're going to start this round
00:14:02with some quick-fire questions
00:14:03about Christmas adverts.
00:14:05John's team, you're up first.
00:14:07Which hugely important Christmas store
00:14:09was advertised by a cartoon giraffe called Geoffrey?
00:14:11I know, it's Toys R Us.
00:14:13It is.
00:14:14It is Toys R Us, not the Stephen.
00:14:16My dad once queued at Toys R Us
00:14:18from three o'clock in the morning
00:14:20to get me one of those Power Ranger morphers.
00:14:22Oh.
00:14:23My mum made him save up all year
00:14:24and then he had to queue.
00:14:253am.
00:14:26Oh, that's so sweet.
00:14:27And he got it.
00:14:28Oh.
00:14:29Shappies team.
00:14:30Which product has been advertised for 30 years
00:14:33by a convoy of HGVs?
00:14:35Oh, Coca-Cola.
00:14:36Or Coca-Cola.
00:14:37Yes.
00:14:38Well done.
00:14:39I would have accepted Eddie Stobart.
00:14:41Oh.
00:14:42John's team.
00:14:43What is going on here
00:14:44in this unexpectedly erotic close-up shot
00:14:47from a Christmas ad?
00:14:49Denim aftershave for men.
00:14:51For the man who doesn't have to try too hard.
00:14:53Denim advert.
00:14:54Steamy than a Christmas pod.
00:14:55Let's have a look.
00:14:56Santa's coming with denim.
00:14:58For the man who doesn't have to try too hard.
00:14:59Hey, it was right monkey that really, wasn't it?
00:15:00It was, wasn't it?
00:15:01It really was.
00:15:02It really was.
00:15:03Shappie thought it was his crutch.
00:15:04I thought it was his crutch.
00:15:05I thought it was his crutch.
00:15:06She's filthy, honestly.
00:15:07Oh, you thought it was a button fly.
00:15:08Yeah.
00:15:09Right.
00:15:10What was this boy adorably using to add height
00:15:13so he could share a Christmas kiss
00:15:14in this clever Christmas ad?
00:15:15Oh, I know.
00:15:16It was either an Argos catalogue or a phone book.
00:15:18Oh, I know.
00:15:19It was either an Argos catalogue
00:15:20or a phone book.
00:15:21Yeah.
00:15:22Oh, I know.
00:15:23It was either an Argos catalogue
00:15:24or a phone book.
00:15:25I know.
00:15:26I know.
00:15:27I know.
00:15:28I know.
00:15:29I know.
00:15:30I know.
00:15:31I know.
00:15:32I know.
00:15:33I know.
00:15:34I know.
00:15:35It was a yellow pages.
00:15:36Yes.
00:15:37He used a coffee of the yellow pages,
00:15:39which is coincidentally also the last time
00:15:41anyone used one.
00:15:42OK.
00:15:43What do eighties hits?
00:15:44Electric dreams, sweet child of mine
00:15:46and please, please, please, let me get what I want
00:15:48have in common.
00:15:49Electric dreams, sweet child of mine
00:15:50and please, please, please, let me get what I want
00:15:52have in common.
00:15:53Electric dreams, sweet child of mine
00:15:54and please, please, please, let me get what I want.
00:15:56They're all songs for a brand.
00:15:57Selling something.
00:15:58It's an advert, John.
00:15:59Well done.
00:16:00I know.
00:16:01I know.
00:16:02I know.
00:16:03You're selling something.
00:16:04It's an advert, John.
00:16:05Well done.
00:16:06Oh, shall we have to...
00:16:07OK, I'm going to have to hurry you.
00:16:08Dixons.
00:16:09It's not Dixons.
00:16:10They have all been used in the John Lewis advert.
00:16:13Oh.
00:16:14For goodness sake.
00:16:15Which store's adverts were famously so massive
00:16:18and featured so many celebrities that they
00:16:21sometimes took up the whole commercial break?
00:16:24Versus Marcus Spence.
00:16:25Yes.
00:16:26Remember, it doesn't have to be this recent.
00:16:28It doesn't have to be recent.
00:16:29No.
00:16:30No.
00:16:31Carrots.
00:16:32No.
00:16:33Would it be happening?
00:16:34It was walrus.
00:16:35Oh, for goodness sake.
00:16:36Biggins.
00:16:37So long ago.
00:16:38You were in one.
00:16:39I know.
00:16:40Nice.
00:16:41Brilliant.
00:16:42It was 1983 it was.
00:16:43Really?
00:16:44Yeah.
00:16:45Keep your eyes peeled if you can spot biggins amongst the
00:16:53luxury assortment of celebs.
00:16:56Enthusiastically vlogging everything.
00:16:59From VHS players to aftershave.
00:17:01Watch this.
00:17:02Oh, spice.
00:17:03Gift.
00:17:04Pack.
00:17:05That can't be bad.
00:17:06Remington's great popcorn maker.
00:17:08Steady on there lad.
00:17:10These Montempi organs are so much fun to play.
00:17:13Chocolate's for the girlfriend.
00:17:15Make it Cadbury's milk tray.
00:17:17Big value quality street in a jar.
00:17:20Hoorah.
00:17:21Hoorah.
00:17:22Get your Phillips six pack to take your party fun.
00:17:25An instant gift idea.
00:17:27This Kodak camera's a one where I never.
00:17:30What year was it?
00:17:311983.
00:17:32I cannot remember that at all.
00:17:35You can't remember?
00:17:36No.
00:17:37Now, we couldn't have biggins here without a panto-based
00:17:41game, could we?
00:17:42Oh, yes, we could.
00:17:44Oh, no, we couldn't.
00:17:46Oh, yes, we could.
00:17:48Perfect.
00:17:49If there's one thing a British audience can nail, that's it.
00:17:53Now, this game is called Who's Behind You?
00:17:56Now, this is a game for both teams.
00:18:03We found some panto posters and we've covered up a key cast member with a biggins.
00:18:09And all you have to do is tell me who's behind him.
00:18:13Shappie's team, here's yours.
00:18:15So, it's 1986.
00:18:16He's Dick Whittington at the Reading Hexagon.
00:18:19And it's a veritable who's who of 1980s TV talent.
00:18:23We've got Bobby Davro, Brian Kant, Letitia Dean, Brian Connolly.
00:18:28But which burly strong man is behind biggins, as it were?
00:18:32Hmm.
00:18:33Difficult.
00:18:34I've got my think-you face like I have a clue.
00:18:37Burly strong man is the clue there.
00:18:40Was he a sportsman, I think?
00:18:42I'm going to give you a clue.
00:18:43He might arrive on stage pulling a love rig behind him.
00:18:46Oh, is it Jeff Capes?
00:18:48Well done, well done.
00:18:50The answer was Olympic shot putter and two-time world's strongest man, Jeff Capes.
00:18:56Fun fact, did you know?
00:18:57He was also an award-winning budgie breeder.
00:19:00Yep.
00:19:01Had more than 300 of them at one point.
00:19:03The swimming costume.
00:19:04No, not budgie smuggling.
00:19:05Budgie breeding.
00:19:06But maybe, maybe he bred them for smuggling.
00:19:11Oh, no.
00:19:12Okay.
00:19:13John's teen, this one's for you.
00:19:16Ready.
00:19:17Oh, look is our Leslie.
00:19:18Another Dick Whittington from 1994 and some top-quality panto talent with you there, Leslie Love.
00:19:24But which effervescent sports star is behind biggins?
00:19:28Oh, God.
00:19:29Leslie, who did you do Dick Whittington?
00:19:30Effervescent.
00:19:31Effervescent.
00:19:32Proper effervescent.
00:19:33Like their effervescent.
00:19:36He might have just sprinted on stage.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:41Chris Akabusi.
00:19:42Yes, Debbie.
00:19:43It was Olympic athlete and record-breaking presenter, Chris Akabusi.
00:19:47Oh, God.
00:19:48Done.
00:19:49Done.
00:19:50Done.
00:19:51Oh, he was absolutely gorgeous.
00:19:53Fell in love with him.
00:19:54Was he?
00:19:55He was divine.
00:19:56And that was in the days when you had a girl playing a man.
00:19:58Yes.
00:19:59You don't have that now.
00:20:00No.
00:20:01When Rosemary Ford, who's absolutely brilliant, played Dick Whittington.
00:20:03And they would slap their thighs and say, 12 o'clock and still no sign of Dick.
00:20:07That's absolutely right.
00:20:09Now talking about you, Stephen.
00:20:13Yes.
00:20:14About a rumour, you're dying to be in panto.
00:20:16I really want to be buttons, but no-one's letting me.
00:20:19I want to be like, 12 o'clock and still no dick.
00:20:22Biggins, you are the queen of panto.
00:20:24Can you sort it out?
00:20:25Yeah, well, we've talked about it in the green room.
00:20:27I've put him in touch with our producers.
00:20:29Oh, come on.
00:20:30Two years' time, he'll be in pantomime.
00:20:33Now, you're a panto pro.
00:20:34Can you remember your first one?
00:20:35You know, we've all got 100 panto stories, but in my early years of panto, I did panto
00:20:40in Bradford and we lived in Surrey, which is like a five-hour drive.
00:20:44My dad was so amazing because he was desperate.
00:20:47The family got home for Christmas and I got a lift as far as Watford Gap.
00:20:51Yeah.
00:20:52But it was snowing.
00:20:54And so my dad had got there at like, you know, one o'clock in the morning to meet me.
00:20:59But we got there at something like four in the morning because we were stuck in the snow in the north.
00:21:04And then we had to get up at five o'clock in the morning to just open Christmas presents and leave at like 6.30.
00:21:13And he drove me all the way back up to Bradford, had a cup of tea and then drove back down to the family on Boxing Day.
00:21:19Yeah.
00:21:20Oh, I mean, that's so sweet, but sort of not worth it, wasn't it?
00:21:23No.
00:21:24Or was it worth it?
00:21:25It was definitely worth it.
00:21:26Oh, well, that's all right then.
00:21:28Shaffi's team.
00:21:29Very classy, this one from 1988.
00:21:31Barbara Windsor, Nicholas Parsons, singer Julie Rogers, but who's behind Biggins?
00:21:37I should probably tell you that he's a puppet.
00:21:40Oh.
00:21:41Oh.
00:21:42It's a puppet.
00:21:43A puppet.
00:21:44But it's a puppet.
00:21:45Oh.
00:21:46Oh, I know.
00:21:47Brian Connolly.
00:21:48No, no, no.
00:21:49He's not a puppet either.
00:21:50He's a human being, I think.
00:21:51When he heard that line, a puppet line.
00:21:52Yeah, but it's an actual puppet behind your head.
00:21:54Is it?
00:21:55It's not sooty, Richard Cadell?
00:21:56No.
00:21:57Not sooty.
00:21:58Right, okay.
00:21:59You started out on breakfast TV.
00:22:00Oh, is it Roland Ratt?
00:22:02Oh, thank God for that.
00:22:03Yes.
00:22:04Yes, it was Roland Ratt.
00:22:06I thought she said it to her.
00:22:07Okay, John's team.
00:22:08One more for you.
00:22:09Okay.
00:22:10This one's from the Bristol Hippodrome in 1992.
00:22:13Emily Simmons is advertised as her character name, Marilyn from Home and Away.
00:22:18Bit rude.
00:22:19And there's also John Inman and Billy Pierce.
00:22:22But which four characters from a kids' TV show are behind Biggins?
00:22:26Teletubbies is four.
00:22:27Four characters from a kids' TV show.
00:22:29Are, um, Sooty Sweep and...
00:22:32No.
00:22:33No.
00:22:34It wouldn't...
00:22:35No.
00:22:36I think it's got to be the Teletubbies.
00:22:37Was Teletubbies though a bit after 1993?
00:22:38Any clues?
00:22:39Yeah, clue please.
00:22:40Yes.
00:22:41They worked a lot with Rod Jane.
00:22:42Oh, right.
00:22:43So it's got to be George.
00:22:45Zippy.
00:22:46Bungle.
00:22:47What was your one called?
00:22:49Wasn't it Geoffrey?
00:22:50No.
00:22:51Geoffrey.
00:22:52Geoffrey.
00:22:53Geoffrey?
00:22:54But he's not...
00:22:55Oh yeah, he is, yeah.
00:22:56I was thinking he's not a puppet.
00:22:57No, no.
00:22:58Geoffrey Hayes.
00:22:59Geoffrey Hayes.
00:23:00Zippy.
00:23:01That was Dolce.
00:23:02George.
00:23:03He's a pink hippopotamus.
00:23:04And...
00:23:05Bungle.
00:23:06It's Campus Ten.
00:23:07Yes.
00:23:08It was Geoffrey with this theme George Bungle from Rainbow.
00:23:11Now, poor old Marilyn from Home and Away was second billing to an orange monstrosity.
00:23:16Oh, no.
00:23:17With a zip for a mouth.
00:23:18Welcome to the UK, everybody.
00:23:20Hey.
00:23:21Right.
00:23:22It's time for a game all about possibly the most famous Christmas specials of them all.
00:23:27The Morecambe and Wise Christmas shows.
00:23:30Let's play More More More Come and Wise.
00:23:34John's team, you're up first and I need you to tell me more about this glamorous foot which unfortunately but comedically found itself stuck in a polystyrene block.
00:23:48Whose foot is it?
00:23:49Yeah.
00:23:50Yeah.
00:23:51You're drawing us towards the Rippin.
00:23:52No.
00:23:53But it's wrong.
00:23:54Yeah.
00:23:55Yeah.
00:23:56Yeah.
00:23:57I seem to remember.
00:23:58This is Dame Shirley Bassey.
00:24:00Well done.
00:24:01Oh, yes.
00:24:02Very funny.
00:24:03Yes.
00:24:04It was Shirley Bassey's foot in the 1971 Christmas special.
00:24:08Here it is with the rest of Shirley Bassey, heroically battling through a note perfect performance of Smoke Gets In Your Eyes.
00:24:16So I chose them and I gave me love to think we could doubt.
00:24:24Oh, God.
00:24:25Oh, God.
00:24:26Oh, God.
00:24:30Oh, God.
00:24:31Today, my love, I gave me love to think we could doubt.
00:24:37Oh, God.
00:24:39Oh, God.
00:24:41Oh, God.
00:24:43Oh, God.
00:24:44That's amazing.
00:24:47I mean, wasn't she?
00:24:48Absolutely brilliant.
00:24:50Shappie's team, this one's yours.
00:24:52Morecambe and Wise are known for treating their guests appallingly.
00:24:56But can you remember which star ended up having to perform in front of two cleaners,
00:25:01having been sent on a surreal wild goose chase to keep him from finding his way to the studio?
00:25:06I think it was the conductor.
00:25:09Oh, Andre Previn.
00:25:11Andre Previn, yeah.
00:25:13Andre Previn.
00:25:14Andre Previn.
00:25:15No, I'm afraid it was Elton John.
00:25:17Oh.
00:25:18Here he is.
00:25:19Bless him.
00:25:20Completely unfazed by the many bizarre twists and turns on his mission to perform.
00:25:25Hello, I'm Elton John.
00:25:26I'm here to do the Morecambe and Wise show.
00:25:28Oh, yes.
00:25:29Mr. Morecambe and Mr. Wise told me to give you this message.
00:25:32Oh, thank you.
00:25:33Okay.
00:25:34Dear elephant, please go to room four.
00:25:40Please go to room four.
00:25:41I'm fine.
00:25:42Oh, my God.
00:25:44I made a study into the lifestyle of the dolphin, and one dolphin in particular.
00:25:59He's called Beaky, and lives in the waters near the desert, as Pondus.
00:26:04Over the last few years, scientists, particularly in America...
00:26:23It's Elton John, isn't it?
00:26:25Eh?
00:26:25Elton John.
00:26:26I'm supposed to be doing the Morecambe and Weiss show.
00:26:28Ooh, it's a finish.
00:26:30It's over.
00:26:32Well done, teams.
00:26:33In that round, John's team, you scored five points.
00:26:36Shaffy's team, you scored four points.
00:26:39Oh.
00:26:39Ooh.
00:26:42It's nearly time for the break, so time to pull a cracker.
00:26:46Stephen, what have you got?
00:26:48Here we go, John Thompson.
00:26:49Hey!
00:26:51Right.
00:26:52What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
00:26:55Oh, we'll find out the punchline after the break.
00:26:58Welcome back.
00:27:16Before the break, we pulled a cracker and asked, what do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
00:27:21Go on, Stephen, give us a punchline.
00:27:22The abdominal snowman.
00:27:24Oh, thank you.
00:27:26I like that.
00:27:27That was quite good.
00:27:28That was very good.
00:27:29Right.
00:27:29Nothing beats Christmas Day for food and drink, baby shampoo breakfast, followed by your body
00:27:35weight in chocolate coins, and then saying, it's the last year, I'm going to buy them nuts
00:27:39because no bugger eats them.
00:27:40As a pre-dinner nibble, let's have a little challenge, a game of nerves.
00:27:45You'll require a poker face and a lead stomach.
00:27:48So, let's play Chocolate or Sprouts.
00:27:56Shappie's team, you're going to go first.
00:27:58You each have a box in front of you.
00:28:00In two of the boxes, there's a delicious chocolate, and in one of them, there's a very thoroughly
00:28:05boiled sprout.
00:28:06John's team will get a point if they correctly guess which of you has got the sprout, but
00:28:11you will get a point if you fool them.
00:28:13Shappie's team, please pop in your mystery item.
00:28:16Shappie's team, it's more of an acting challenge.
00:28:44Who's got the sprouts? They all look like they hate it. I
00:28:48Think Leslie you play it points bro. I agree which one we think level is playing sprawl, but we don't want to show this girl
00:28:56She's got chocolate
00:29:03Okay, which one of you has got the sprout
00:29:13I'm with an ice rose now John's team. It's your turn. You know what to do
00:29:34Okay, Shappies team who's got the sprout I
00:29:37Don't think Debbie has well. I think she does. Oh, do you think she has yeah playing sprouts?
00:29:43Unless she's a very very good and good actress
00:29:46Um I feel that whatever John put into his mouth was very small because he was balancing it nicely on his tongue
00:29:57I don't think I think John's got chocolate. Okay, I'm gonna have to hurry
00:30:02Debbie, but I kind of feel this probably I just feel like oh
00:30:06Say Stephen how can they give lovely Debbie a sprout easily? That's not how I think
00:30:13I come on guys. I've got everything. Yeah, I think I think I'll go with two against one Debbie Debbie have you got this brown?
00:30:20Oh
00:30:22Oh, she got you!
00:30:24It was a sprout!
00:30:30I did say that because you did it very quickly
00:30:32I thought so
00:30:34Yeah, well done Debbie!
00:30:36That's a point to your team John, well done
00:30:38Oh, that was angin, not even a bacon lad
00:30:40I'd have a sprout, mine was lovely
00:30:44I've got a nap spat out one if you want it
00:30:48Right, many of us would be lost without a TV cookery experts help making Christmas dinner
00:30:52Whether it's Delia holding our hand through a punishing timetable of prep
00:30:56Or Nigella convincing us we can look sexy while peeling spuds
00:31:00But some go the extra mile and provide us with something a bit surprising
00:31:05It's time for some extra helpings
00:31:12Shaffi's team this game to you take a look at this
00:31:16When you buy your Christmas turkey I wonder if you do as I do and buy one just a little on the larch size
00:31:24There's so many delicious things can be made from leftovers
00:31:28But also it is more economical to buy a larch turkey you get more meat to bone
00:31:34Oh
00:31:36Well, we all like more meat to bone
00:31:38That was the very natural hosting of Dorothy Slate home giving us some kind and practical advice
00:31:44In making use of leftover turkey
00:31:46In a 1971 edition of ITV's long-running daytime cookery show Farmhouse Kitchen
00:31:52But what extra thing does Dorothy do in this Christmas episode?
00:31:57Does she
00:31:58A. Cough repeatedly
00:32:00B. Explain the best way to clean up various different kinds of spillage
00:32:05Or C. Offer some cheap alternatives to traditional ingredients
00:32:10They say
00:32:12I think she probably clears up
00:32:14I think because she's talking about you get more meat to the bone
00:32:16She's already on the subject of being
00:32:18I would say the cheap alternatives
00:32:19Yes, I
00:32:20Yes
00:32:21Right, cheap alternatives
00:32:22Cheap alternatives
00:32:23Absolutely wrong
00:32:24Oh no
00:32:25Okay
00:32:26The answer is A
00:32:27Oh
00:32:28She coughs repeatedly
00:32:30Oh
00:32:31It's very subtle so you might not notice
00:32:32But here are some examples
00:32:34Can be prepared quite a little in advance as you will see
00:32:40They're delicious for a party or just a snack over the fire
00:32:48Excuse me
00:32:51A warm dish
00:32:55Excuse me
00:32:56And now all I have to do is to tell you about our recipe leaflets
00:33:02Oh my goodness
00:33:04Why bother stopping for a retake?
00:33:06Just crack on my wasting tape, no one will know
00:33:09Who are you?
00:33:10In later years Farmhouse Kitchen was hosted by Grace Mulligan
00:33:13And in the 1986 Christmas show she welcomed guest chef Jocelyn Dimbleby
00:33:18Who roasts a goose
00:33:20For a bonus point
00:33:21What do you think Jocelyn suggests you do with leftover goose fat and dripping?
00:33:26Erm
00:33:27Erm
00:33:28Give it the dog
00:33:29No
00:33:30Spread it on toast
00:33:31Erm
00:33:32No, perhaps you use it as some sort of thing to put on your face
00:33:35Skincare
00:33:36I'm going to give you that
00:33:37Here's Jocelyn daintily fondling some goose fat
00:33:40And politely offering some old fashioned medical advice
00:33:44And the first job you have to do is to take out the fat
00:33:48There's lots of fat inside it
00:33:50And you take out all the excess fat
00:33:52Erm
00:33:53You may think it's a messy job
00:33:54But in fact just think of what good it's doing to your skin
00:33:56Your hands
00:33:57Wonderful hand cream
00:33:58What I normally do is I boil down the fat
00:34:01Erm
00:34:02And keep a lot of dripping
00:34:03Because it's very valuable
00:34:05Or shouldn't shouldn't throw it away
00:34:06Because it does make the best roast potatoes ever
00:34:09Or you can even just rub it on your chest when you have a cold
00:34:12Apparently it works wonders
00:34:13Oh
00:34:14Oh
00:34:15Hand cream
00:34:16Rub it on your chest
00:34:17Oh
00:34:18Lag your ceilings with it
00:34:19No
00:34:20Everything
00:34:21Next one
00:34:22And food and drinks Jilly Goulden was known for a creative description of what wine tastes
00:34:27like
00:34:28I mean it tastes like wine, doesn't it to me
00:34:30But not to Jilly
00:34:31No
00:34:32In a Christmas drinks segment
00:34:34What unnecessarily weird words does she use to describe some ruby ports
00:34:38Is it A
00:34:39A winter's afternoon in East Sussex
00:34:42B
00:34:43Scattered potpourri
00:34:44Or C
00:34:45Wisteria up an old cottage
00:34:48Oh, it has to be
00:34:49Oh
00:34:50Oh
00:34:51Oh
00:34:52Oh
00:34:53Oh
00:34:54Oh
00:34:55Oh
00:34:56Oh
00:34:57Oh
00:34:58Oh
00:34:59Oh
00:35:00Oh
00:35:01Oh
00:35:02Oh
00:35:03Oh
00:35:04Oh
00:35:05Oh
00:35:06Oh
00:35:07Oh
00:35:08Oh
00:35:09Oh
00:35:10Oh
00:35:11Oh
00:35:12Oh
00:35:13Oh
00:35:14Oh
00:35:15Oh
00:35:16Oh
00:35:17Oh
00:35:18Oh
00:35:19Oh
00:35:20Oh
00:35:21Oh
00:35:22Do you know what that smells like?
00:35:23On a summer's day when you've just had a little rain shower but it's still warm enough
00:35:26to bring out this lovely scent to the flowers
00:35:28Wisteria up an old cottage, that's what it is
00:35:31Oh
00:35:32Oh
00:35:33Oh
00:35:34Oh
00:35:35Oh
00:35:36Oh
00:35:37Oh
00:35:38Oh
00:35:39Oh
00:35:40Oh
00:35:41Oh
00:35:42Oh
00:35:43Oh
00:35:44Oh
00:35:45Oh
00:35:46Oh
00:35:47Oh
00:35:48Oh
00:35:49Oh
00:35:50Oh
00:35:51Jon's team, the next game's for you. Cooking Christmas dinner is a lot of work, isn't it?
00:35:56Well, anyone who's struggled with the Christmas dinner will feel right at home with this game.
00:36:00It's all about sitcom characters who've had cooking disasters at Christmas.
00:36:04Let's play Festive Feasting Fails.
00:36:11First one, have a look at this.
00:36:13Anyway, why don't you do what I do, eh?
00:36:15You know, just put the dinner in your mouth and think of England.
00:36:20Right.
00:36:21Here we go.
00:36:29Not bad. Not bad, Gendo.
00:36:32Slightly underdone, maybe.
00:36:35Yeah, that was the first ever Only Films and Horses Christmas special in 1981.
00:36:41And Del and Rodney are putting on a brave face as they tuck into the very unappetising looking turkey
00:36:46that Grandad has prepared around their cramped but festive table.
00:36:50Now, it seems to be going better than they feared, but then, what goes wrong with this Christmas dinner?
00:36:56I know this one.
00:36:57Yeah, Grandad left the giblets in the turkey.
00:37:00Here's Del and Rodney going from disbelief to horror to blind panic.
00:37:08You didn't throw the giblets away, did you?
00:37:13I only asked.
00:37:14I only asked.
00:37:15I promised to be the old girl downstairs for a cat.
00:37:17There weren't any giblets in it, dear old boy.
00:37:19It was really clean.
00:37:21Said so on the box.
00:37:22Yeah, I know it was really clean, Grandad.
00:37:23What they do is they take the giblets out, put it in a plastic bag, and they put it back inside the turkey, don't they?
00:37:28Didn't they?
00:37:29Yeah.
00:37:34You took the bag out, didn't you?
00:37:37I didn't know it was in there, baby.
00:37:38Oh, my God.
00:37:39Blimey, it's like peering at the jaws of hell, yeah?
00:37:49Well done, Debbie.
00:37:50Next one, here's Rick Mayle in all his greasy-haired, overconfident glory as Richie preparing dinner in the 1992 Christmas special of Bottom.
00:38:01And turkey a la oven.
00:38:05Yeah, that's great.
00:38:06Now to get their taste buds going.
00:38:07I don't know, Eddie.
00:38:08When it comes down to it, there's only me and Keith Floyd left.
00:38:12Oh, no.
00:38:13But what gruesome accident is Richie about to have in his head?
00:38:18I don't know.
00:38:19He's definitely going to slice something.
00:38:21The cleaver is stuck into a body part.
00:38:26This is true.
00:38:27Yeah.
00:38:27What, though?
00:38:28You have to tell me that...
00:38:29That's what I would guess.
00:38:31I would guess, yeah.
00:38:31Because that, I'd finish it, wouldn't it?
00:38:33Yeah, so I think...
00:38:34Hand.
00:38:34Yeah.
00:38:35OK, I'm going to give you that.
00:38:36He cuts his finger off.
00:38:38Yeah.
00:38:38Let's have a look at some typically grisly Christmas carnage from Richie and Eddie.
00:38:43I can't even watch that.
00:39:06For a bonus point, because Eddie's drunk all the brandy, what do they decide to make instead
00:39:12of brandy butter?
00:39:13On the same lines, I'll give you a little clue.
00:39:16Gin butter.
00:39:19Do you know what?
00:39:19You're not far off.
00:39:20OK.
00:39:21What is it?
00:39:21Vodka.
00:39:22Vodka.
00:39:23Vodka butter.
00:39:23Vodka butter.
00:39:24Vodka butter.
00:39:24Vodka butter.
00:39:24I'm going to give you half a point.
00:39:26It was vodka margarine.
00:39:28Oh, vodka margarine.
00:39:29Oh, yeah.
00:39:30Hey, don't knock it, so you've tried it.
00:39:32At the end of that round, John's team, you have four and a half, and Shappie's team, you
00:39:37have two.
00:39:38It's nearly time for the break, so let's pull a cracker.
00:39:47Shappie, have you got one this time?
00:39:49I have, yes.
00:39:50Ready?
00:39:51Yeah.
00:39:52Oh.
00:39:53Hey.
00:39:55Right.
00:39:56Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
00:39:59Oh, well, we'll find out the punchline after the break.
00:40:08Welcome back.
00:40:18Before the break, we pulled a cracker and asked, who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
00:40:23Go on, Shappie.
00:40:24A mint's spy.
00:40:27Oh, they're getting better.
00:40:30Excellent.
00:40:31I don't know about you, but hearing Christmas songs in the shops or on radio gets me right
00:40:36in the Christmas mood, apart from when it's November, and then it gets right on my nerves.
00:40:42Why are Carrie and Slade are as much a part of Christmas for me as Santa and his reindeer,
00:40:46so your quick-fire questions this time are all about Christmas music.
00:40:51Okay, John's team.
00:40:52Whose face is covered by a snowball in this Christmas music video?
00:40:57Oh.
00:40:58It looks like it.
00:40:59Yeah.
00:40:59I think it's shaking.
00:41:00Is it Shaking Stevens?
00:41:02It was Shaking Stevens.
00:41:03In the music video for Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:06Let's have a look at Shaking in action.
00:41:08Merry Christmas, everyone.
00:41:35Now, that was Christmas number one in 1985, but actually, it was meant to go out in 84,
00:41:45but they held it back a year because of Band-Aid.
00:41:47The minute Band-Aid came out, the management went, that's never the best number one.
00:41:50Oh, yeah, of course, yeah.
00:41:51Hold it here, Shaking.
00:41:52Hold your horses, Shaking.
00:41:53Okay, Shappie's team.
00:41:54Name three music stars who featured in the first Band-Aid single in 1984.
00:42:00Okay, so...
00:42:01Bob Gilderth.
00:42:02It was the three.
00:42:02Yep.
00:42:03Was it Cleve?
00:42:04Yes.
00:42:05Freddie Mercury.
00:42:07No, it was Live Aid.
00:42:08Annie Lennox.
00:42:10No.
00:42:11George Michael.
00:42:12Yep.
00:42:13And Boy George.
00:42:15Yes.
00:42:15Well done.
00:42:16Well done.
00:42:18Which of their pop rivals did Take That have to introduce as Christmas number one in 1994
00:42:24when they presented the Christmas Top of the Pop special?
00:42:27It was E17.
00:42:29Yes.
00:42:29Yes, Stephen.
00:42:30Very good, very good.
00:42:32It was E17, or as I remember them, That Bloke Can Sing and The Other Ones.
00:42:36Yeah.
00:42:37Yeah.
00:42:38Whose face is covered by a snowball in this Christmas music video?
00:42:43Oh, it's George Michael.
00:42:47Yeah, let's have a look.
00:42:49Last Christmas I gave you my heart
00:42:57But the very next day you gave it away
00:43:01This year to save me from tears
00:43:06I'll give it to someone special
00:43:10Yes, we love it.
00:43:14I know that we love it.
00:43:15It was George Michael in Wan's last Christmas video.
00:43:19OK.
00:43:20The Christmas number one in 1992 was Whitney Houston, I Will Always Love You.
00:43:25What followed in 1993?
00:43:28I Will Always Love You was number one for about four years, wasn't it?
00:43:32Was it her?
00:43:32She said it was...
00:43:34You're never going to get it.
00:43:36Erm...
00:43:36The same.
00:43:37She Worry Worry and...
00:43:38Under the Moon of Love.
00:43:41Yes, no, it was Mr. Blobby by Mr. Blobby.
00:43:45Oh, I'm so...
00:43:46I was thinking that and then I thought you're such a moron if you say that out loud.
00:43:51Shappies team.
00:43:52Who beat John Lennon to Christmas number one in 1980?
00:43:561980?
00:43:57Oh, God.
00:43:58Is it Kim Wilde?
00:44:00Kim Wilde?
00:44:01Nearly.
00:44:02Oh.
00:44:02It was the incredibly gifted St. Christopher's school choir.
00:44:05Oh!
00:44:08And they demoted John Lennon's final single, just like starting over to the number two spot.
00:44:14Yeah.
00:44:15Let's have a look at those adorable and hugely talented children that me and my brother Chris
00:44:22are definitely not part of Honest.
00:44:24Yes, we are.
00:44:25This is me.
00:44:25No.
00:44:26Grandma, we love you.
00:44:30Grandma, we do.
00:44:34Grandma, we love you.
00:44:37That's me.
00:44:37Grandma, we do.
00:44:40That's me.
00:44:40There's no one quite like Grandma.
00:44:44That's amazing.
00:44:46That's amazing.
00:44:48Brilliant.
00:44:49And I've not changed a bit.
00:44:51Oh.
00:44:52Now, what better time than Christmas to settle down with the family, watch a film, then fall
00:44:58asleep and never, ever see the last 40 minutes of said film.
00:45:03It's the big box of Christmas prop-corn.
00:45:10Now, these films could be a proper 100% Christmassy Christmas film, or they could be a classic always
00:45:17on the telly unboxing day afternoon kind of fare.
00:45:20The usual rules apply.
00:45:22Team captains are going to use all the props they can to get their teammates to guess the
00:45:26film.
00:45:27You can say a line from the film, but not if it contains the title of the film.
00:45:33John's team, you're up first.
00:45:36OK.
00:45:37We've got this.
00:45:39You've got until the jingle bells to guess as many films as you can, team.
00:45:43Starting now.
00:45:44Oh, gosh.
00:45:45OK.
00:45:46Father Christmas.
00:45:47Put that cookie down now.
00:45:49I'm the Grinch.
00:45:49I'm looking for a turbo man.
00:45:51Oh, the one where he's in the toy shop and he can't get the present for his son.
00:45:55Come on.
00:45:56What is that called?
00:45:57I have no idea.
00:45:58I'm not a pervert.
00:45:59I'm looking for turbo man.
00:46:01Come on for my son.
00:46:02I know exactly what it is.
00:46:03Right, we'll go to sack that.
00:46:04We passed.
00:46:05We passed.
00:46:06Hey, come on.
00:46:07It's about time you paid me more.
00:46:09Oh, Muppets Christmas Carol.
00:46:10Yes.
00:46:11Oh, it's better to date Michael, but I did have to start.
00:46:12OK.
00:46:16Perfectly practical.
00:46:17Oh, Muppets.
00:46:18Muppets.
00:46:18Yes.
00:46:19You're doing well, John.
00:46:21You're doing well.
00:46:22My witch stuck to me basket.
00:46:23Story in my life.
00:46:25There's no place like that.
00:46:26Wizard of Oz.
00:46:28What is that first one again with Arnold Schwarzenegger?
00:46:31Colonel Von Luger is a sworn duty of all officers to escape.
00:46:35Go on, Taki, Mickey.
00:46:37It's a classic.
00:46:41Back to the future.
00:46:44No, I do.
00:46:44It's a...
00:46:46Sandy Lou.
00:46:48No.
00:46:48Jack is on.
00:46:49I'm with myself.
00:46:51Oh, Sandy Lou.
00:46:52I'm here.
00:46:53Oh, the Grinch who stole Christmas.
00:46:55Yes.
00:46:55Yay.
00:46:56Nice job.
00:46:57Come on, John.
00:46:58Oh, my God, sorry.
00:47:02Are you not going to give it me?
00:47:03I thought of that Arnold Schwarzenegger one.
00:47:06Go on.
00:47:06Jingle all the way.
00:47:07Too late, mate.
00:47:09Now we know you can really act.
00:47:11Yes.
00:47:14And what was the other one?
00:47:15It was a great escape.
00:47:16It was a great escape.
00:47:18I've never seen it.
00:47:19Oh, it's great movie.
00:47:20It's very good.
00:47:21OK, Shappie, it's your team's turn.
00:47:24You've got into the jingle bells to guess how many films you can.
00:47:28Starting now.
00:47:30Um, hang on.
00:47:32Oh, I'm...
00:47:34You know, you're not going to fall in love with me.
00:47:35I miss the napkin head.
00:47:37I mean, who doesn't want Jude Law turning up at their house in the middle of the night?
00:47:41No.
00:47:42Um, OK.
00:47:44Oh, my God, my husband's living with someone else.
00:47:46So I'm going to go to a little cottage in England and learn...
00:47:49Move on.
00:47:50Not a clue.
00:47:51Is it my accent?
00:47:52Oh.
00:47:53OK.
00:47:53Um...
00:47:55We're Gramo Livoso.
00:47:57It's Livosa, not Livoso.
00:48:00How about that?
00:48:01Well done.
00:48:02Was there really more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
00:48:08This is the film with Hugh Grant.
00:48:10And I'm going to...
00:48:11Oh, the cutting bill gate.
00:48:13Oh, no.
00:48:13I'm going to...
00:48:15It's...
00:48:16Oh, I'm going to marry my, um, cleaner, even though she doesn't speak a word of English.
00:48:21And her sister's fat.
00:48:23And we're going to make lots of fat jokes.
00:48:25And then we're going to do this again.
00:48:26I love you.
00:48:27You're my best friend's wife.
00:48:29But I'm coming to your door.
00:48:30Not a clue.
00:48:31It's amazing.
00:48:33OK.
00:48:34Because then to work at Christmas all the time.
00:48:35That's what it is.
00:48:36Every time a bell rings, Angel gets his wings.
00:48:41Oh!
00:48:42Yes!
00:48:42Please, yes!
00:48:44Oh, it's a wonderful life.
00:48:46Well done.
00:48:49Never feed them after midnight.
00:48:52They're all cute, but if you...
00:48:53The Goonies?
00:48:54No.
00:48:55I've never seen it, I'll be honest with you.
00:48:56They're cute little things, and if you put water on them, they've grown...
00:48:59I've never seen the film.
00:49:02You mustn't feed them after midnight.
00:49:03Oh, the Gremlin?
00:49:04Thank you!
00:49:05Oh, well done.
00:49:06Oh, God.
00:49:07Oh!
00:49:08Oh, oh, shit.
00:49:10Oh!
00:49:11It's Santa.
00:49:12I know him.
00:49:13I know him.
00:49:14He's my friend.
00:49:15It's Santa.
00:49:17Oh, oh, oh!
00:49:18Hey!
00:49:19It's a jingle bell!
00:49:21Oh!
00:49:21Oh, shuffie.
00:49:22Come and sit down.
00:49:23You deserve it.
00:49:27I mean, if you've not seen him, you've not seen him, I mean, that's the thing.
00:49:30All right.
00:49:32Love Actually.
00:49:33Who's the one with the signs?
00:49:34Oh!
00:49:35And then the other one was handsome Jude Law in The Holiday, being Mr. Mayor.
00:49:41And I actually, I love that film.
00:49:42Not that much, though, Biggie.
00:49:44No, no, exactly.
00:49:44At the end of that round, John's team, you got seven, in Shaffi's team, you got six.
00:49:55It's nearly time for the break, so let's pull a cracker.
00:49:58John, have you got one this time?
00:49:59No, you're not pulling me, John.
00:50:00Oh!
00:50:01Oh!
00:50:01Oh!
00:50:01Oh!
00:50:02Oh!
00:50:02Oh!
00:50:03Oh!
00:50:03Oh!
00:50:04Oh, why would I?
00:50:05I'm a gentleman.
00:50:05Oh!
00:50:06Oh!
00:50:06Make yourself flush.
00:50:07Are you ready?
00:50:08Yeah.
00:50:09Go!
00:50:09Oh!
00:50:10All right, here we go.
00:50:12I love this one.
00:50:14What happens when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
00:50:20Well, we'll find out the punchline after the break.
00:50:23Welcome back.
00:50:38Before the break, we pulled a cracker and asked, what happens when you cross a snowman with
00:50:43a vampire?
00:50:44Go on, Debs, give us a punchline.
00:50:46And the answer is frostbite.
00:50:48You get frostbite.
00:50:52Hysterical.
00:50:53Guess what causes the biggest arguments at Christmas?
00:50:56No, not to eat the last men's pie.
00:50:59It's what to watch on the telly.
00:51:01Nothing gets us in the Christmas spirit quite like a soap special, so let's play the exceedingly
00:51:07festive sounding, Why Is This Person Crying?
00:51:11This game's for you, John Seam, and all you have to do is tell me why a particular
00:51:23soap character is horrifically miserable in the selected clip is horrifically miserable in the selected clip.
00:51:27First up, why is an anguished Arthur Fowler sobbing into his dressing gown in EastEnders on Christmas Day 1986?
00:51:35Oh, he's not in a good way, is he?
00:51:37But why, why?
00:51:38Let's just pre-breakdown this.
00:51:40He stole the Christmas Club money.
00:51:42Right.
00:51:42And he just couldn't believe what he's done.
00:51:44It led to him digging his own grave on the allotment.
00:51:46You are bang on, Thompson.
00:51:51Yes, Arthur Fowler is crying because he stole the Walford residence Christmas Club money to pay for his daughter Michelle's wedding,
00:51:58then faked a burglary to explain the missing money, before confessing to the police, getting arrested,
00:52:05falling into depression, then smashing up his living room in a violent Christmas rage.
00:52:11That was genuinely a properly powerful performance,
00:52:40to be fair, but come on, guys.
00:52:42It's Christmas.
00:52:43And by the way, this was the second EastEnders of the day.
00:52:46We'd already had Den serving Angie with the divorce papers.
00:52:51I don't know how we coped.
00:52:52I mean, double duff-duff.
00:52:55Next one.
00:52:56Why is a desperate and tearful Deirdre Barlow sobbing behind those distinctly 80s glasses in the 1988 Corrie special?
00:53:05And it's not because she's found out that spec savers don't have a returns policy.
00:53:08Did Ken find out that she was having an affair with Mike?
00:53:14I don't know if that was at Christmas, though, but it feels like it could be right.
00:53:17Is that your answer?
00:53:18Or did Tracy finally come down from the bedroom?
00:53:21Yeah, and stop listening to her tapes.
00:53:24Shall we go for the Mike one?
00:53:26Mike Baldwin.
00:53:27Let's go with that.
00:53:27No, completely wrong.
00:53:28She's being held hostage in a towel block by a desperate man who's one of her constituents whose wife had just walked out on him.
00:53:35When Deirdre took some toys around for the kids, he told her he wasn't going to spend Christmas alone and barricade them into the flat.
00:53:42Here's our feisty Deirdre giving it her all in a physically demanding festive performance.
00:53:47I have had just about all I can take off you.
00:53:50And if you want to stop me, you'll have to kill me.
00:53:54What are you doing?
00:53:56I'm going to throw your TV set through the window.
00:53:58You're in here.
00:53:58You're in here.
00:54:06Yes.
00:54:07To be fair, Corrie's not usually quite as depressing at Christmas as some other soaps.
00:54:13Although, let's not forget this tragic and sadly predictable 1997 car accident.
00:54:19Dad, a turkey's for life, not just for Christmas.
00:54:22Oh, surely you're not still going to go after Pooh a little thing.
00:54:25Listen, Chuck.
00:54:27When Les Batters was on the scent, there's no stopping him.
00:54:34I'm coming with you.
00:54:37What do you think you're doing?
00:54:40I've got to find Teresa.
00:54:41Right.
00:54:41Well, if we find this thing, you leave it to me.
00:54:43Do you understand?
00:54:50Full gone, wasn't it?
00:54:53Did they actually hit the bird?
00:54:54No, it was a head thing.
00:54:56Special effects, Steve.
00:54:58Good special effects.
00:54:59Right.
00:55:00Time for something altogether more cheerful.
00:55:02Shappie's team.
00:55:03This game's for you.
00:55:04And it's called Which Christmas Sitcom Has Gone Wrong?
00:55:15I'm going to read you down to Christmas sitcom's storyline.
00:55:17And all you have to do is tell me which sitcom has gone wrong.
00:55:21Here's your first one.
00:55:22A van delivers a huge Christmas order to a customer, including a nine-foot Christmas tree.
00:55:28However, the tree only measures eight foot five and three-quarter inches, so the customer
00:55:34returns the entire order and ends up with no food, drink or decorations for how to spend
00:55:40Christmas with the next-door neighbours.
00:55:42Which sitcom am I talking about?
00:55:43Only Fools and Horses.
00:55:45No, he'd never do that.
00:55:47He's more...
00:55:48No, it'd be someone...
00:55:50It was a bird.
00:55:51OK, they live in Surbiton.
00:55:53Oh, um, Penelope Keith and...
00:55:56The Good Life.
00:55:57The Good Life.
00:55:58Well done.
00:55:59Yes, it was The Good Life.
00:56:00Let's have a look at a very dowel Margot, steadfastly refusing to get into the spirit of Tom
00:56:06and Barbara's charmingly homemade Christmas.
00:56:09One, two, three...
00:56:10Crack.
00:56:13Not bag.
00:56:15No, I see crack as a more pertinent word.
00:56:18It is, after all, the stem of cracker, isn't it?
00:56:20You can't argue with that.
00:56:22Oh, come on, now.
00:56:22What have we all got?
00:56:23Well, I seem to have the inside of a roll of lavatory paper.
00:56:29Inside that?
00:56:30Oh, yes.
00:56:31Which you prefer, Wellington or Nelson?
00:56:34Come on, Margot, get your hat on.
00:56:37For a bonus point, why doesn't Margot want to wear her paper hat?
00:56:42It's the wrong newspaper.
00:56:43Well done, yes.
00:56:44Let's have a look at her indignant and classically Margot response.
00:56:51Come on, Margot, get your hat on.
00:56:52This is the Daily Mirror.
00:56:56I am terribly sorry, Margot.
00:56:58Please have the telegraph.
00:57:02Next one.
00:57:03The main character, an adult man, is cast as an angel in a nativity play.
00:57:09The counter-weighting system of the theatrical wires he's attached to fails,
00:57:14and he's jerked upwards, smashing through the church roof,
00:57:18where he had to be rescued by a helicopter.
00:57:21So what sitcom am I talking about?
00:57:23Some mothers do have them.
00:57:25That sounds like someone's to have them.
00:57:26It was Some Mothers Do Have Them.
00:57:29Let's have a look at this masterpiece of perfectly timed silliness,
00:57:32an extraordinary physical comedy.
00:57:35One more bag should do it.
00:57:36What's that?
00:57:48Stop looking up there.
00:57:52You dirty shepherd.
00:57:55He's born innocent.
00:57:56Well, that's ruined my Christmas.
00:58:06Who is Christ?
00:58:08Not that big one!
00:58:09No!
00:58:10In that round, John's team, you've scored one point,
00:58:28and Shappie's team, you've scored three!
00:58:34It's nearly time for the break, so let's pull a cracker.
00:58:37Shappie, have you got another one?
00:58:38I've got another one, shall we?
00:58:39Yep.
00:58:41Read us a joke, please.
00:58:43Which reindeer has the worst manners?
00:58:46We'll find out the punchline after the break.
00:59:03Welcome back.
00:59:04Before the break, we pulled a cracker and asked,
00:59:06which reindeer has the worst manners?
00:59:09Go on, Shappie, give us a punchline.
00:59:11It was Rood-dolph.
00:59:14See?
00:59:15Oh, that's good, isn't it?
00:59:18Very good.
00:59:19Excellent.
00:59:19This final round is about those festive TV moments and special episodes that are seared into the nation's collective consciousness,
00:59:27like the lyrics to Do They Know It's Christmas.
00:59:30Shappie's team, you're up first.
00:59:32The lovely Paul Daniels delivered 15 consecutive Christmas specials from the late 1970s to the early 1980s,
00:59:39but what did he make vanish in 1984?
00:59:43Was it Debbie McGee?
00:59:46Well, not very well, because you're here tonight.
00:59:48No, I was going to say it.
00:59:48It's a big Ben.
00:59:50It would be something big.
00:59:53Okay, I'm going to have to hurry you.
00:59:54An elephant?
00:59:54No, it was a million pounds.
00:59:57Oh.
00:59:58Yes, and here he is, being ably assisted on that illusion.
01:00:01But is that...
01:00:02Robert Maxwell.
01:00:02It's not Debbie McGee.
01:00:04He made more than a million disappear.
01:00:06We've got to ask Debbie about this, haven't we?
01:00:08The brief that Paul got, you know, from the...
01:00:11We had a team, and one of them came up with making a million pounds vanish, so the BBC agreed.
01:00:17And Paul, I can remember, on the way home, when they were designing it, he said,
01:00:23Yeah, but they haven't said I have to bring it back.
01:00:27Okay, John's team.
01:00:29Who hosted the Christmas special of The Generation Game for the first time in 1978?
01:00:35Who was before...
01:00:36Was there anyone before Bruce?
01:00:37Before Bruce, no.
01:00:38But maybe 78, it might have been Larry.
01:00:41Oh, Larry.
01:00:42Brucey, Larry, and then it was Jim Davidson.
01:00:44Have to hurry you?
01:00:45All right, I'll go for Larry.
01:00:46Larry Grayson.
01:00:47You're right, John.
01:00:47It was Larry Grayson.
01:00:49He'd taken over from Bruce Forsyth earlier that year.
01:00:52Whose legendary, elaborate Christmas entertainment spectaculars involved the star playing as many as 37 different characters himself.
01:01:01Biggins, you'll get this.
01:01:03Is it you?
01:01:04No.
01:01:05You'd remember the word, it's 37 characters.
01:01:06I get it at the Woolworths advert, but you'd remember 37 characters.
01:01:10Erm, 37 characters.
01:01:12Give me a clue.
01:01:13Gottish.
01:01:14Is it Ross Abbott?
01:01:15Oh, no, no, no.
01:01:17I'll tell you who it is.
01:01:19It's...
01:01:19Oh, Stanley Baxter.
01:01:22Yes, it was Stanley Baxter.
01:01:24Well done, John.
01:01:25Oh, my God.
01:01:26Next one.
01:01:28Whose circus was a Christmas TV tradition shown on both BBC and ITV until the final televised performance in 1983?
01:01:37Billy Smarts.
01:01:38Well done, Debbie.
01:01:38Yes, it was Billy Smarts Circus.
01:01:40It was first broadcast live by the BBC in 1947.
01:01:45Wow.
01:01:45Oh, my gosh.
01:01:46Which film, now a Christmas viewing classic, was first show on Christmas Day 1978?
01:01:52Health.
01:01:53Would it be health?
01:01:54Oh, no, that was much better.
01:01:55No, that was much better.
01:01:56Were the hills alive in it?
01:01:58They might have been.
01:01:58Oh!
01:01:59Sound of Music.
01:02:00Sound of Music.
01:02:00Yes, it was.
01:02:03Well done.
01:02:04The Sound of Music.
01:02:04The BBC won a bidding war with ITV for the rights to show the film nine times over a ten-year period.
01:02:11It was a massive bidding war.
01:02:13Now, what was unusual about the Christmas special of Chaotic Kids Show, Runaround, in 1980?
01:02:19Well, it was hosted by Mike Reed.
01:02:21Runaround there.
01:02:22Mike Reed from EastEnders.
01:02:24That was always that.
01:02:25Yeah.
01:02:25What was special about that particular one?
01:02:28Ooh.
01:02:29Yeah, I mean, I don't...
01:02:30Honestly, I can't see you getting it.
01:02:31I don't know.
01:02:32I'd be fascinated to know.
01:02:33It was on ice.
01:02:34Oh!
01:02:36Bold.
01:02:36Yep.
01:02:36We should have guessed that.
01:02:38Let's have a look at possibly one of the most ambitious Christmas special ever attempted
01:02:43on television.
01:02:48Right, I'm going to try and get out of this.
01:02:50Well done, Warren.
01:02:51Do you bobsleigh for the Britain there, boy?
01:02:53I don't actually bobsleigh for Britain, though, but I do compete.
01:02:57You do compete?
01:02:58I'll tell you what, it's a bobsleigh.
01:02:59Can you bob it out of here, please, Warren?
01:03:01Give a nice round of applause.
01:03:03Young man does a run.
01:03:04All right.
01:03:08Good up, Warren.
01:03:09Good up, Warren.
01:03:12Right.
01:03:15Anyway, uh...
01:03:16Welcome to Runaround.
01:03:18This is my mother-in-law.
01:03:19An unusually nervous might read there, standing very still, tends to cling you onto a fiberglass
01:03:28polar bear for dear life.
01:03:30Right.
01:03:31It's time for the final game.
01:03:33There's a prezi and some wrapping paper on everybody's desk.
01:03:36The best wrap presents after 30 seconds wins the point.
01:03:40Here we go.
01:03:41Okay.
01:03:42Three, two, one, go!
01:03:44Right.
01:03:45I can't believe I've got a hammer.
01:03:48Oh!
01:03:48Look what I've got.
01:03:51Oh, what is that?
01:03:52Oh, it's a snowball, Stephen Bailey.
01:03:54You know, I love a Christmas snowball.
01:03:57For my very first one, my auntie gave me when I was 10.
01:04:00God love Manchester.
01:04:02The tape is so hard.
01:04:03Oh, my God, John.
01:04:05Oh, this is not bad, actually.
01:04:06They're nine.
01:04:08Perfect.
01:04:08How long's left to feel soft?
01:04:12Apart from Stephen, I'm struggling.
01:04:15Ho, ho, ho!
01:04:16Okay, put your sticky tape down and let's have a look.
01:04:21Biggins, that is quite a beauty, that.
01:04:23That's beautiful.
01:04:24That does look good.
01:04:25And yours are very neat, girls.
01:04:26Very neat.
01:04:27Not sure what happened there, Debbie, but it looks like a plant, but I don't think it is.
01:04:32It's a football.
01:04:33Let's have a look at yours, love.
01:04:38God, it's a badminton racket.
01:04:40Oh, that's brilliant.
01:04:41Stephen, let's have a look at yours.
01:04:43In my defence, I normally put everything in a bag.
01:04:46It's clean, God, so what it is.
01:04:48It's wrapped.
01:04:49Well, you've obviously lost miserably, John's team.
01:04:52One point to Shappie's team.
01:04:54Yay!
01:04:58So, put your badly-wrapped prezzies away, please.
01:05:01In fact, feel free to keep them, because they are your secret Santa gifts.
01:05:06I knew you wanted a football, Debbie.
01:05:09OK, I'm going to quickly toss up the scores, and I can tell you that tonight's winners are...
01:05:15John's team!
01:05:16Yay!
01:05:18Go team!
01:05:19Happy Christmas!
01:05:20Merry Christmas!
01:05:21Merry Christmas!
01:05:23God bless us, everyone!
01:05:25Well done, John's team.
01:05:27Congratulations, Shappie's team.
01:05:29You don't go away empty-handed.
01:05:31You get an already out-of-date Cliff Richard calendar.
01:05:35Yay!
01:05:35John's team, you've won tonight's star prize, the Christmas Quiz Night Bowl of Golden Sprouts!
01:05:48Thank you all at home for watching, and a very Merry Christmas!
01:06:01We appreciate it, Moses.
01:06:01We'll see you next time.
01:06:23We'll see you next time.
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