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Only Connect Season 21 Episode 100
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FunTranscript
00:00Time, please. Time, ladies and gentlemen. It's time for the Only Connect pub quiz.
00:23Tonight, we are having a lock-in. Knock on the back door three times, code word quadratic.
00:30I will be serving up some ice-cold questions in my role as barmaid who's somehow doing the pub quiz to some favourite old teams from Only Connect of yore.
00:41And they are on my right.
00:44Lee Knowles, a senior improvement advisor and West Bromwich Albion season ticket holder.
00:49Gareth Cottes, an online merchandising manager whose first concert was Meatloaf.
00:55And their captain, Ushwini Karmath, a solicitor who spent her 40th birthday on a frozen lake.
01:01United by brewed beers, they are the Hopsters.
01:05Welcome back, Hopsters. We last saw you last year.
01:08Now, Ushwini, back in the day, we always said on this show we didn't have enough women contestants because quizzing comes from pub culture.
01:15You are a one-woman symbol of changing times.
01:20But you told us on your last visit you're a one-pint quizzer.
01:23I mean, this is going to last all night.
01:25What happens on the second pint?
01:27We don't want to go there.
01:29Welcome back, all of you. Nice to see you.
01:32You are playing On My Left.
01:34Dean Riley, a software engineer who directs local amateur theatre.
01:39Simon Gibbons, a software engineer who featured in a documentary as the fastest pickled egg eater in England.
01:46And their captain, Mickie Alexander, a research fellow who took part in a pirate-themed rave in the Greenwich foot tunnel.
01:54United by their love of a traditional pub, they are the Taverners.
01:58Mickie, you're back all the way from 2016.
02:02So lovely to see you.
02:04I should have asked before, are you still a couple?
02:07We are still married, despite me overruling him on the last one.
02:11Do you still play together as a pub quiz team?
02:13Yeah.
02:14Would you say that since you were last here, your quizzing skills have got sharper or weaker?
02:20Ooh.
02:23Age is catching up with us, I think.
02:25Yeah, maybe a little touch weaker.
02:27Well, we are actually going to be playing a slightly different sort of quiz tonight, because this is a pub quiz.
02:33We're not going to have buzzers or any of that high-tech TV jiggery-pokery.
02:37The teams have got pens and paper.
02:39They're going to be playing all the questions at the same time, just like in a standard old-school quiz.
02:45So, pens and paper at the ready teams.
02:48Your first question is going to be the two reads.
02:52I will tell you when the next clue is coming up.
02:55Here's the first.
03:01Next.
03:06Next.
03:13Next.
03:14And your time is up.
03:20Hopsters.
03:21What have you got?
03:22PH levels.
03:23That is the right answer.
03:25Tanvenous, did you have that as well?
03:27We concur.
03:28We did.
03:29Let me see your working.
03:30PH, very well done.
03:32That is one point each.
03:34Your second question will be the lion.
03:38First clue coming up now.
03:39Next.
03:40Next.
03:41Next.
03:44Next.
03:45Next.
03:46Next.
03:51Next.
03:52Next.
03:53Next.
03:54Next.
03:55Next.
03:56Next.
03:57It's an old against the electrical.
03:58You can't do it.
03:59And we'll stop there.
04:00I'll ask you this time, Taverners, do you have an answer?
04:13Things that you're not allowed to do during an election.
04:15Is the right answer.
04:17Hopsters, what have you got?
04:18Politicians can't do.
04:19I'll let you have it.
04:20These are electoral law offences.
04:21They changed the rules in 1985.
04:22You couldn't use a pub as an office.
04:23I don't really know why it wouldn't be allowed and then allowed.
04:25These two middle clues.
04:26You wouldn't think it was two different things, would you?
04:27There's two separate offences.
04:28So there's bribery in general, but then giving drinks which is considered treating.
04:31So politicians who want to be elected can't do that kind of thing.
04:34Time for the twisted flax.
04:35What is the connection?
04:36Ooh.
04:37It's a music question.
04:38Let me just reach for my old tinny tape recorder to play you the music clues.
04:41Here's the first.
04:42Next.
04:44London Pride has been handed down to us London Pride
04:47do that kind of thing time for the twisted flax what is the connection oh it's a music question
04:55let me just reach for my old tinny tape recorder to play you the music clues here's the first
05:01next
05:08london pride has been handed down to us london pride is a bit up next
05:16that's enough music hopsters what do you think the answer is
05:38um we think that the surnames are also first names of the singers not it taverners what have you got
05:48we think maybe something to do with opening hours with pubs being open on the holidays saturday night
05:54also wrong yeah who do you think we heard from uh so we had elton john for the first one and
06:01cliff richard for the last one um is it noel coward at some point it was noel coward at clue two
06:08and i let that third clue run on a bit in the hope you'd recognize the voice can we listen to clue
06:13three again from serbeton to scanthorpe in venice to belfast everybody wants to lend a helping hand
06:21now imagine that voice saying nice to see you to see you nice it's sir bruce forsyth sir elton john
06:28a sir noel coward and sir cliff at the end all nights here's a nice bit of triv about noel coward
06:36he lived in a cottage next to the star inn which was e nesbit's local you don't think of e nesbit
06:43as a regular drinker in the pub and noel coward was such a big fan of hers as a child he once stole
06:50a coral necklace belonging to his brother's friend pawned it for five shillings and spent it on e nesbit
06:55books and in later years he lived in a cottage right next to her local pub and they were able to hang out
07:00so that was nice now before the next question i can see you're getting low on drinks taverners but
07:06that's all right because it is that moment in any pub quiz where somebody has got to go to the bar to
07:11get a round in even if they have to miss a question so i'm gonna have to ask for a volunteer from your
07:16team who's gonna go to the bar well i guess i'm closest so uh i'll take the short straw for that
07:22simon i'm gonna ask you to leave the stage
07:26right now i'm sorry you're gonna be a man down i hear there's a big queue for the bar but let's
07:30get on with it it'll be the horned viper here's your first clue
07:39next
07:45next
07:46and we'll stop there taverners the two-man team what's your answer we believe these are uh
08:06according to these people these are the greatest yorkshiremen and what do you think hopsters greatest
08:11yorkshireman they are nominated as the greatest living yorkshireman who do you think dicky bird
08:19nominated i hope he said himself dicky bird said william wilberforce quote as he did a magnificent
08:28job for the slaves but he's dead so then he said i'll go for judy dench if you want a lady
08:33surprising answers there oh look it's simon coming back with the drinks in you come simon you help
08:42yourselves to drinks you'll be glad to hear they managed the point without you simon excellent
08:47next question water what is the connection between these clues here's the first
08:55coldest pub
08:55next
09:08next oh yeah they're not they're they're they're like neolithic chalk things aren't they next
09:19that's the giveaway clue so i'm gonna stop you there
09:21yeah yeah hopsters what do you think um these are giant works of art in these places
09:29what do you mean by giant works of art big big things drawn on the ground
09:32what would you have said taverners we were also struggling for what they're called i've written
09:36neolithic earthworks which i'm certain is wrong but it does what we're thinking of i will give you
09:41all a point each you weren't fox they're not pubs they are hill figures and of course common pub names
09:47as well let us move on to the next question the eye of horus will be the last one of the round
09:52the picture question your first picture clue coming in now
09:59paul neumann in uh the color of money or past next
10:03um joshua jackson that is dawson's creak next
10:09let's see
10:15next
10:19time's up
10:21caverners what can you tell me uh they're all synonyms for fast
10:26so you've got pacey from dawson's creek uh taylor swift uh speedy gonzalez and i think he's called
10:32fast eddie something in the hustler fast eddie felson nice fast eddie felson and we wrote fast
10:40very nice you all get one point very good who is speedy gonzalez the quickest mouse in mexico he's the
10:47fastest mouse in mexico exactly well they're all doing very well that means at the end of round one
10:53the taverners have five points the hopsters have five points round two the sequence is round
11:03i might actually have a little scratching um
11:07i'll be telling you the clues in sequence again you'll all be playing together first one is going
11:12to be the two reeds here's your first clue
11:18next
11:21next
11:41and we'll stop there
11:42hopsters what have you got for me as fourth in the sequence clacton tick
11:49brackets 2024 the last election is the right answer taverners you've got the same thing very well
11:58done what is the reason hopsters so the first three are where nigel farage lost um in the elections and
12:06the last run is where he won it is successive elections for nigel farage leading up to clacton
12:13and what's it doing in this show he famously likes being pictured in pubs he's often pictured
12:18in the pub isn't he and there was actually a poll which said he was the leader that people would most
12:23want to have a pint with but you obviously have to factor in that's if you have to have a pint in
12:28a pub with a political leader i think uh they have to ask people of everybody in the world who would
12:34you want to have a pint with and see how long it took before they got to any politician i think would
12:38be the thing next question is going to be the lion what would come forth in this sequence here's the
12:46first next next is it where the pub is that was the brentford brown so there was a pub on every corner i
13:03thought
13:12and time's up taverners what can you tell me we can tell you little to nothing yeah this one
13:20stumped us are you stumped hopsters the village i grew up in for what reason it had four pubs
13:25that would be an acceptable answer we had the arctic monkey song cornerstone so talk us through the
13:31sequence please well albert square is east enders and there's one pub of course which is the queen
13:35vic that's it hogsmeade uh the names of the pubs and the three broomsticks yeah but the leaky cauldron
13:44is not in hogsmeade i don't think that's in diagonally but the the three broomsticks is right
13:50and the hogs head harry potter pubs of course and um what's going on at clue three so griffin park
13:56is the former home of brentford and they used to have three pubs on the corner of the ground
14:02on these dates they did and until 2015 there was a pub on each corner one closed so for four years
14:08there were just three sadly brentford don't play there anymore it's been demolished so well done
14:13hopsters you get two points there but the bad news is i think it's time someone went to the bar
14:18who's volunteering i'll take the hit off you go lee you go and get the drinks in we'll play the next
14:26question it's going to be the twisted flax we'll wait until lee is left fine that's it get it down
14:35what comes forth in this sequence here's the first
14:48times 21. next
14:58isn't it a triangle
15:05and let's stop there nastily hopsters you're the two-man team now someone ask you
15:10um so we think it's the equal sign followed by the number 30. and what do you think it is
15:15we didn't really get to we've got triangle 25 not it i'm afraid equals 30 is the right answer
15:22talk me through it please um so the mathematical symbols are the ed sheeran albums i think in succession
15:29and the numbers are adele albums again in succession that's right so ed sheeran's albums go
15:36plus multiply divide and then there's another one i would have taken but equals is the next
15:42maths one and the adele 19 21 25 30. does he have a pub in his back garden ed sheeran
15:48oh he's very wealthy that's what i would have oh but look lee's coming back with a celebratory round
15:55of drinks you see when i'm doing a pub quiz i always deliberately go of the music round because i
16:00wouldn't be able to answer it anyway so then i can come back and go oh i would have got that it is the
16:05albums of ed sheeran and adele successively but good news your team got two points next question
16:12is going to be the horn viper picture clues here's the first next
16:27next
16:35and we'll stop there is there a more revolting snack than the pork scratching i mean genuinely is
16:45there a more i mean i'm eating them but is there anything more disgusting some of them have hair
16:49on if anything was going to make me go vegan it would be that okay taverners what do you think
16:56comes next we're lost yeah no no sorry i love this one it's staring you in the face look at the word
17:06pint four letters red lion three then four ho chi min two then three then four i want to hear one two
17:15three four letters for example tea in the park why is ho chi min in this question i'll throw pork
17:23scratching is anyone who gets this right i mean that in a positive way is a pub called the ho chi min
17:28no ho chi min apparently worked in the kitchen at the drayton court in west ceiling which apparently
17:35has the largest beer garden in london and ho chi min worked there i mean how can that be right apparently
17:40it is let's go on with the next question water what would come forth in this sequence here's the first
17:47next next
17:58and the fourth so is it going to be change of rational
18:03one time's up popsters can you give me an answer steven and nothing in the bracket one in
18:23brackets because there's only been one king steven not it i'm afraid taverners what do you think
18:29well we think it's the same thing for a different reason what you think it's steven steven who
18:34followed richard the first oh no you you've got the rhyme wrong it's willy willy harry steve
18:41harry dick john don't you worry i am gonna give you i'm gonna give you the points because i think
18:49you've done some brilliant quizzing this is really tough tell your opponents what the sequence is so
18:53these are the people who succeeded richards with in brackets so charles ii on the restoration
19:00replaced richard cromwell that's it because oliver cromwell died his son richard so for richard cromwell
19:06henry the seventh followed uh richard the third that's it henry the fourth followed richard the
19:11second so i want to know who followed richard the first and it was john and even though you didn't
19:17give me that answer immediately i'm so impressed that you solved this difficult puzzle you can have
19:21two points thank you we'll take it last question of the round is the eye of for us first in a
19:27sequence is this next swept away that was the madonna film where she was like you should feel sorry for
19:45next and we'll stop there taverners do you have an answer dean would like to give it sure
20:00we think it's lock stock one colon and what do you think hopsters one colon uh lock stock and two
20:05smoking barrels is the right answer you all get the points and what is the sequence um the guy richie
20:12films going backwards in order and why is guy richie in this show he he has a pub he has a pub doesn't
20:21he he likes a bit of pub culture has anybody seen swept away yeah it's not good people were very mean
20:26about that film but i reckon everyone on it was trying their best to do an entertaining thing what more
20:31can you ask trying their best to do an entertaining thing you do it if you think it's so easy lock stock and
20:37two smoking barrels the right answer two points all round that means at the end of round two the taverners
20:43have 11 points the hopsters have 13. time for the connecting wall amazing burst of high-tech play in
20:54this particular pub would you like lion or water i think it's time for a hydration break so we will take
21:00the water wall but aha you're both going to get the same wall two and a half minutes starting now
21:10okay so what do we see words for pub local tavern
21:14we've also got a high-tech play in this town and bar we've also got habitant native local okay so
21:28i'm going to start with the music ones yes yes um so resident native inhabitant local
21:35We've got re and ing we've not talked about.
21:39So, we said saloon, her.
21:41Shall we try it?
21:43We need to hold off, don't we?
21:45Yeah, so we've got demo, re and ing.
21:50Feel like shortenings of something,
21:52so pub or inn could go with those,
21:54but what are they short for?
21:56Let me take pub off for a moment,
21:58because maybe speakeasings happen.
22:00Yeah, does anything go in front of them?
22:03Yeah.
22:04Erm...
22:07We're fairly confident that it's either pub or inn with this,
22:10so we should hopefully be able to get it,
22:11but what's the connection to, like, engineering, English...
22:17Publish, relish, demolish.
22:21You've solved the wall.
22:24Very well done.
22:25Tell me about the connections, bar, rest and so on.
22:27So, the first group are musical...
22:30It's musical terminology.
22:32It's musical notation.
22:33And the next group, local, resident, native and inhabitant.
22:37Erm...
22:38They're all sort of synonyms to describe somebody who lives somewhere.
22:41People from round here.
22:43In, tavern, saloon and speakeasy.
22:46Drinking establishments.
22:47Those are the four drinking establishments.
22:49And the last group, pub, eng and so on.
22:52Erm...
22:53So it can be followed by lish, to make a word.
22:55Yes, it can.
22:56So that is all four groups, all four connections.
22:59And the bonus, that is the maximum of ten points.
23:02Very well done.
23:03Let's bring in their opponents now and give them the exact same wall.
23:07Let's see how much you remember.
23:09I bet you still can't solve it.
23:11Hello, taverners.
23:12You will be getting the water wall.
23:14And your time starts...
23:16Now.
23:18Oh, right.
23:19What have we got?
23:20Uh...
23:21Tavern.
23:22Oh, yeah.
23:23So...
23:24Pub...
23:25Tavern.
23:26Tavern.
23:27Where's tavern?
23:28At the bottom.
23:29Okay, in.
23:30Okay, that's going to be quite a lot.
23:31What else have we got here?
23:33So we've got...
23:34Oh, local as well.
23:35Yeah.
23:36Do, re, mi, fa...
23:37Inhabitant, native...
23:39Yes.
23:40Local.
23:41And...
23:42Resident.
23:43Resident.
23:44Ray, clef, that's a musical thing, yes?
23:47Yeah.
23:48Demo...
23:49There's something that you add to the end of these.
23:52Yeah.
23:53England...
23:54Or ing something.
23:55Okay, let's...
23:56I'm going to do this for a bit.
23:57Leave out bars.
23:59Leave out pub.
24:01Leave out saloon.
24:04Leave out speakeasy.
24:06Have I done all of them?
24:08Leave out tavern.
24:09Oh, interesting.
24:10In.
24:11Okay, there's too many options.
24:13Uh...
24:14What else can we have at?
24:15Clef.
24:16Uh...
24:17Tef.
24:18Restaurant.
24:19Uh...
24:20Democracy.
24:21Demo...
24:22Graphics.
24:23In...
24:24Dem...
24:25Dem...
24:26Demosthenes.
24:27Demog.
24:28Come on, say things.
24:29Keep talking.
24:30Engineering.
24:31England.
24:32Uh...
24:33No, English.
24:34Uh...
24:35No, English.
24:36Uh...
24:37No, English.
24:38Uh...
24:39Uh...
24:40No, English.
24:41Uh...
24:42Relish.
24:43Uh...
24:44Relish.
24:45Uh...
24:46Relish.
24:47Demolish.
24:48English.
24:49Publish.
24:50Uh, yes.
24:51Very good.
24:52Relish.
24:53And then we've got tie, clef, bar and rest.
24:55They're all physical things.
24:56Yeah.
24:57They're all physical.
24:58You've solved the wall.
24:59Very well done.
25:00But do you know why?
25:01Tell me about local, resident and so on.
25:04They are synonyms from people who are from around here.
25:09Quite right.
25:10The next group, in tavern and so on.
25:13Drinking holes.
25:14Of the many drinking holes, those are the four.
25:17Next group, pub, eng and so on.
25:20Uh...
25:21Things that end with lish.
25:22Or that you can follow with lish.
25:23Oh, lish.
25:24You can put lish after all of them.
25:25And the final one, bar, rest, clef and tie.
25:28All from musical notation.
25:30That is musical notation.
25:32You get the maximum of ten points.
25:34What did you get?
25:36I thought so.
25:37Let's have a look at the scores going into the final round.
25:40The taverners have 21 points.
25:43The hopsters have 23.
25:46Time now for the missing vowels round.
25:49Unfortunately, a kindly benefactor has donated to the pub some buzzers.
25:54Because I have no idea how we'd have done this round otherwise.
25:57Fingers on buzzers, teams.
25:59I can tell you that the first group of disguise clues are all good topics
26:04to memorise for a pub quiz.
26:10Taverners.
26:11British Monarchs.
26:12Correct.
26:16Taverners.
26:17Football World Cup winners.
26:18Well done.
26:23Hopsters.
26:24Chemical elements.
26:25Yes, it is.
26:29Taverners.
26:30Best Picture Oscar winners.
26:31Correct.
26:32And keep all of that in mind when I tell you that the next group are all examples
26:37within the aforementioned topics.
26:39Off we go.
26:42Taverners.
26:43Queen Anne.
26:44Yes, she is.
26:48Hopsters.
26:49Argentina.
26:50It's Argentina.
26:54Taverners.
26:55Argon.
26:56Chemical elements.
26:59Hopsters.
27:00Argo.
27:01Our Best Picture Oscar winner.
27:02Next group, bar snacks.
27:07Taverners.
27:08Scratching.
27:09Don't mind if I do.
27:13Hopsters.
27:14Dry roasted peen.
27:15With that faint tang of urine.
27:20Taverners.
27:21Pickled onions.
27:22Correct.
27:25Hopsters.
27:26Scotch eggs.
27:27Yes, indeed.
27:28Next category.
27:29TV pubs and bars and the shows they're in.
27:35Taverners.
27:36The Woolpack and Emmerdale.
27:37Correct.
27:39Oh, the landlord has rung the bell.
27:42No time to tell me.
27:44The Wool's Tavern and the Simpsons.
27:45Why the landlord's ringing a bell.
27:47I thought we were having a lock-in.
27:48But TV scheduling is a cruel mistress.
27:51They've had a word with the landlord.
27:53And by landlord, I mean our head of production's husband Phil.
27:57Thanks for that, Phil.
27:58It's the end of the quiz and looking at the final scores.
28:01Finishing with 28 points, it's the Hopsters.
28:05The Taverners have 29.
28:07You've just squeaked it.
28:09Very well done.
28:10What a lovely evening it's been.
28:12Really nice to see you all again.
28:13Cheers.
28:15And thanks very much for watching the Only Connect pub special.
28:18Please do be quiet when leaving as we're in a residential area.
28:22Good night.
28:31Good night.
28:32Good night.
28:33Good night.
28:34Good night.
28:35Good night.
28:36Good night.
28:37Good night.
28:38Good night.
28:39Good night.
28:40Good night.
28:41Good night.
28:42Good night.
28:43Good night.
28:44Good night.
28:45Good night.
28:46Good night.
28:47Good night.
28:48Good night.
28:49Good night.
28:50Good night.
28:51Good night.
28:52Good night.
28:53Good night.
28:54Good night.
28:55Good night.
28:56Good night.
28:57Good night.
28:58Good night.
28:59Good night.
29:00Good night.
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