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00:00Dream season.
00:17After going almost entirely winless the year before,
00:21this year, we went undefeated.
00:2424 wins, 0 losses, a perfect season,
00:27and a no-show record.
00:28Then things got even better.
00:31We made our bid for the National Senior Tournament,
00:33and we got it.
00:35The best hockey teams in Canada coming here
00:38to play for the national title against you in Sudbury.
00:42Let's set the fucking tone!
00:44After our perfect regular season,
00:46it appeared the table was set.
00:48We would win the no-show playoffs
00:49and then move on to the National Senior Tournament.
00:52But the playoffs didn't go as planned.
00:58Got a boat to England, baby, maybe to Spain
01:06Wherever I have gone, wherever I've been and gone
01:13Wherever I have gone, the blues run the game
01:18Send out for a whiskey, baby
01:25Send out for a gin
01:27Me and room service, honey
01:30Me and room service, mama
01:33Me and room service, we are living a life of sin
01:37When I'm not sleeping, honey
01:44You are on my mind
01:46When I'm not sleeping, honey
01:50I ain't sleeping, mama
01:52When I ain't sleeping
01:54You know you'll find me crying
01:57Oh, for my sake
02:02Please hold up
02:06What the fuck is this loser?
02:17What can we say, boys?
02:33Nothing worse than losing to the Yanks
02:35In our own fucking barn
02:36Especially in our own barn
02:37I know what to say for the best, Boz
02:39Maybe there ain't no best to it
02:42But just because we lost
02:43doesn't mean this shouldn't be a game stick
02:45Kitty, you played through a separated shoulder
02:50Dolo, foot fracture
02:52Never see a team so hurt as this by Lord Jesus
02:54Fish, you came back from a skate laceration to the neck
02:57Shorzy
03:01You came back from a concussion in the first round
03:05And you played through a torn groin and a hip pointer
03:08What happens with a hip pointer?
03:10Can't push when you shit
03:11You were the leader this team needed
03:13Shorzy
03:16Game stick goes to you, my man
03:19Be proud, Shorzy
03:25Chin up, buddy
03:26We got latte and coke, my friend
03:28Jesus Christ, we nearly had him
03:29Latte and coke
03:30What is it, my dude?
03:35I brought you guys in
03:38Because everybody was acting like bitches
03:41And now you're all acting like bitches too
03:45Okay, that's unfair, Shorzy
03:46Shut the fuck up, Michaels
03:47We just lost to the eggs
03:49You're all acting like you want to eat each other's pussies
03:52Moment up
03:53Like you're opening a second bottle of wine with your gal pal
03:57My son?
03:58I don't want to fucking lift my head right now
03:59You're probably all giving each other's ski pools
04:02Ski pools?
04:05Come on, Shorzy, say something positive
04:07Fucking Summerfeld's dog
04:08Mom wasn't licking her lips at me all fucking night for once
04:11Okay
04:12Fucking Brinksy's fat sister isn't looking as ugly as what she tried to fuck me two years ago
04:17Shorzy
04:17Fucking Michael's ex-sweetie flashed me her bird and I thought it was an accident
04:21But now I don't think it was
04:22Hey!
04:23What about Phillips?
04:23He had the game of his life
04:25Who?
04:26Phillips
04:26That's Phillip
04:28No, it isn't
04:29What do you think that is?
04:30I don't fucking know
04:31Shorzy, the boys are hurt
04:32It's fucking hockey!
04:33You go to it, you can't go no more!
04:37Pop!
04:44Well, hello, Bali, boys
04:45Let's get drunk
04:46Wait, how drunk?
04:49Like no-show record party drunk?
04:56I don't think we should get that drunk again
04:58It's been long enough, you should go say something
05:05This is unfortunate, pathetic
05:13A real cunt
05:16We're hosting the National Senior Tournament in a week
05:19We're beat up from the feet up
05:20Seven days rest can go a long way
05:22We're supposed to be there because we're the best team
05:24Now we're only there because we're the host team
05:26So the host team gets in automatically
05:27Look at it as good fortune
05:28We're the team that gets in on a formality
05:30We're throw-ins
05:31Doesn't matter how you get to the dance
05:32You just gotta get there
05:33We're filler
05:34Reloaders
05:35Nat
05:35When they see the Sudbury guys
05:37Do you think anyone's gonna look at them and say
05:38Uh-oh
05:39Won't get any respect?
05:41Sometimes you have to demand it
05:42Yo, last year we wanted to win one game
05:45This year we won them all
05:47Now we have a chance to win the whole country
05:49Cash in
05:50We've got a week to get these guys over this loss
05:53And refocus for the National Senior Tournament
05:55We've gotta get him healed
05:57Thank fuck there won't be much fighting
05:59I don't know
06:00There may be a national title on the line
06:01But it's still senior whale shit hockey
06:03Seriously
06:04Nat, at least go check on Shorzy
06:06Yeah, ask him when he's gonna start chipping in on the score sheet
06:08He always finds a way to contribute
06:10He can't handle losing
06:11Show me someone who can handle losing
06:13And I'll show you a loser
06:14Let's get these guys drunk
06:18Wait
06:20How drunk?
06:22Yeah
06:22No show record party drunk?
06:30I don't think they should get that drunk again
06:32The sky is falling
06:34As soon as we touch the ground
06:37I can't feel my pain
06:53You boys want to give it a hoist?
07:14Because I'm going to remind you of the good old days
07:15Good he couldn't if he wanted to
07:17All right, that's enough
07:18Won't let you drink out of it
07:20But why don't you come give it a kiss
07:22Drink your beer
07:24I'll go get the bouncers
07:25They don't need them
07:26Come on over boys
07:27Give it a kiss
07:28Let's keep it classy
07:29Can't wait to rip a snooter off this thing
07:31Come on, kiss it
07:33Fuckin' boys
07:39So runner up
07:39Here he is
07:42Here we go
07:43Here we go
07:44Here we go
07:44Here we go
07:44What's that you were saying about respect against me?
07:48Sometimes you have to
07:49It's pathetic
07:49What's wrong with it?
07:51I'm fuckin' hurt
07:52Oh, I'm fuckin' real hurt
07:55Your head?
07:55No
07:56Your hand?
07:57No
07:57My heart
08:00Are you hurt or are you injured?
08:01We're the fuckin' teenage mutant injured turtles
08:04You gotta leave it behind you, my guy
08:05Game 7
08:06In our barn
08:07You focus
08:08We're going to the National Senior Tournament
08:11Yeah, it's fuckin' honorable mentions
08:12Tick-knocker
08:13There's runner-ups
08:14Runners up
08:15There's the guys who didn't earn it
08:17It's embarrassing
08:18You need to break me, son
08:20After that hit you took in the first round
08:23You should be out four to six weeks, all man
08:25Four to six?
08:26Four to six, moment on
08:27Just cause I can't push when I shit
08:28You think it's four to six?
08:29Settle down
08:30What are you even doing?
08:31Looking at girls on the internet
08:32Why?
08:33Had a sec
08:34Goody's hurt worse than me
08:36Goody's not hurt so bad as the way you are
08:37He's got his arm in a sling
08:39It's a holster
08:40Goody's four to six
08:41Just cause I have my arm in this
08:42You think it's four to six?
08:43Zolo's hurt worse than Goody is
08:44Quoi?
08:45Takes you 20 minutes to get from the crapper to the couch, all man
08:48Toi, t'es en train de me dire
08:48Parce que je marche pas comme du monde
08:50Je suis four to six
08:50Doesn't matter, we're all fuckin' losers anyway
08:52Never see a team with so many injuries
08:54As despised by the large Jesus
08:56We're the tagalongs of the tournament
08:57Oh, nice work, sanguinette
09:00Now you've upset Big Sexy
09:02You wanna find out who's the most hurt?
09:03Go easy, Big Sexy
09:05Come where we're to
09:05We has a walk-in competition
09:07A walk-in competition?
09:09You says you're not hurt so bad as what he is
09:10Get control of your bird
09:12He says he's not hurt so bad as what you is
09:14You talk like a fuckin' idiot, eh?
09:16And you're hurt more bad than
09:17So come on over where we're to
09:19We has a walk-in competition
09:21And we finds out who's the most hurt
09:23Don't walk out on me, old man
09:26I'm takin' care of my bird
09:27Who do you think is the most hurt?
09:29Shorzy really got his bell rung in the first round
09:31He's fuckin' ghost the second round
09:33He got trucked
09:34Maybe it'll make him less stubborn
09:35Won't make him less stupid
09:36We ready?
09:37We're ready
09:38Let's get started
09:39Well, can I premise it by saying something first?
09:42Premise?
09:42Huh?
09:43What do you mean premise?
09:44Well, I wanna...
09:44It's like what premise?
09:46You tell us junk, eh?
09:47Preface?
09:48You wanna ruin a good piece of toast
09:49How do you...
09:51Well, you wants to say something before your walks, right?
09:53I was gonna say a few words, yeah
09:55Okay, well, you wants to preface it
09:56So, I meant to say preface
09:59But I said premise
10:00That's what you did, bud
10:02Oh, my God
10:03What an idiot, eh?
10:04Good thing no chick saw that
10:06Settle down
10:06I die, is it your butt?
10:08Well, I guess I'm going to preface my walk
10:11By saying
10:12I'm sure you've all noticed this before
10:14I have one leg shorter than the other
10:17By how much?
10:18By about two inches
10:19Two inches?
10:20Inch and a half, two inches, yeah
10:22No, but I never knew that, old man
10:23Well, I try not to make a big deal of it
10:25Try and let it get in my way
10:26Get me down
10:27But
10:28If you notice something in my walk
10:30It's probably that
10:31How is he?
10:32I don't have to talk
10:33While I'm doing it or anything, right?
10:34No, but
10:35Go
10:35You want me to rush you when you're walking?
10:40That's the poor, blue sky
10:41Let's have a little etiquette in here, boys
10:42A little sportsmanship here now
10:44Okay, now come back where we're to
10:54See, it's just a little slower than ordinary
10:57But that's probably the leg
10:59Which we've established
11:00Otherwise, there's really nothing out of the ordinary
11:03It's awesome
11:04Four to six
11:05Just because I can't push when I shit?
11:08You walk like you had your shit pushed
11:09But I knew you'd be looking four to six, but
11:11Who's up next?
11:14I didn't think you'd be looking that four to six
11:15Could we just keep this moving, please?
11:18Yes
11:18Teams for this year's National Senior Tournament are set
11:22Dynamite
11:23Against all odds, we'll have teams from all over Turtle Island
11:26Representing Western Canada, Eastern Canada, Quebec
11:29Northern Ontario, Southern Ontario, and us
11:31Six whole teams
11:33Why aren't the other provinces sending teams?
11:35Because it's senior whale shit hockey
11:36Up first, representing Western Canada
11:39From the province of Alberta
11:40Home of Treaty 6, 7, and 8
11:41The Brooks Berylmen
11:43From the heart of common country Canada
11:45For these guys, it's hockey all winter
11:47Rodeo all summer
11:48They're tie-down ropers
11:50Steer wrestlers
11:51And of course, bull and bronco riders
11:53You've got to be certifiable for that sport
11:55He's stupid tough
11:56According to the scouting report
11:57They kind of are
11:58Tough?
12:00Stupid
12:00How stupid?
12:02Time will tell
12:02If we're talking notable players
12:04We're talking the Freezer Twins
12:05A.K.A. the Freezer Twins
12:07Why Freezer?
12:07Because they're built like large appliances
12:09These guys played Team Canada Rugby for four years
12:12So needless to say
12:13They like to hit
12:14Keep your head up around these guys
12:18Or you know what'll happen
12:194 to 6
12:20I'll be to judge it at me, son
12:22Dolo, you're up
12:23Hold on
12:24Dre?
12:26What's sportsmanship in here, eh?
12:29Sorry, bye
12:29Let's let Dolo get focused for his walk here, boys
12:31I'm quiet in here now
12:32Well, who's looking 4 to 6 now?
12:50He's looking pretty 4 to 6
12:51Just because I don't walk like this man
12:52He can't really walk at all, bro
12:54It's hard to believe he's been doing it his whole life
12:57Let's get
12:57He's more 4 to 6 than sure, is he?
12:59Boys, we still don't really know who's the 4 to 6-iest
13:01Okay, who's next?
13:03Representing Eastern Canada from Prince Edward Island
13:06The Charlottetown Reds
13:07PEI
13:08Nygma Territory
13:08Not unlike folks from Newfoundland
13:10Prince Edward Islanders have some unique speech
13:13Example?
13:14Ever seen the Prince Edward Island Encyclopedia on YouTube?
13:16What's going on?
13:17I'll fucking flatten it, young buck
13:19I'm gonna come to your house and slam your fucking cupboards
13:21Nice kit bag there, big nuts
13:22I'll beat you like you're on a fishing trip with your father
13:24Easy there, George Clooney
13:26Where'd the cows die? Who the fuck are you?
13:28Must be in the fucking right here's mine
13:29Noted
13:31Most of these guys are commercial fishermen
13:32Out on the Atlantic for days on end
13:35Fishing for herring, mackerel, crab
13:37They know hard work
13:38But a handful of them are owners-operators of what many call
13:41The best seafood shack on Prince Edward Island
13:44Serving up fresh-shucked oysters
13:46Seafood chowder
13:48And their signature lobster rolls
13:51I'm hungry
13:52So who are we watching for?
13:54These guys play as a unit
13:55No one-man shows
13:57Beware, they're peddled to the rug for a full 60
14:00Hard fucking workers
14:02But a standout in another sense
14:05Would be the gorgeous gourd galant
14:07This guy makes panty soup
14:09Ew
14:09He soaks uggs
14:11Entering a dink phase, eh, Zeke?
14:13If you can resist them, you're doing well
14:14Up to the task?
14:15Probably just another Instagram doll in real life donkey
14:17When was the last time you dated a hockey player?
14:19You don't date sluts
14:21You just take them down
14:22Anything else?
14:23Aside from all of that, the word on these guys is that they're just really...
14:27Nice
14:29Nice?
14:31Nice
14:33That's fucking nice
14:35Holy
14:36Great
14:37Hold up
14:38You can walk more good than Dolo, but he's playing better
14:40Meh
14:41You gotta find a way to contribute
14:43Sanger, sit down and shut the fuck up
14:45What are you guys doing?
14:46Walkin' competition
14:47Walkin' competition?
14:48Walkin' competition?
14:49To find out who's hurt more bad than who
14:51Now you're up all man
14:53I don't know
14:54I don't know
14:55Fuck
14:56You think he'd be that good?
14:57They walkin'?
14:58Yep
14:59No
15:00Me neither
15:01They fall
15:02Me neither
15:03Now come back where we're to me, son
15:04Yup
15:05Yep
15:06Yep
15:07He's good
15:08Impressionant
15:09He walks good
15:10I've never seen anybody
15:11no
15:12No
15:13No
15:14Sanginette
15:15No no
15:16You don't get to just waltz in here and see who walks good
15:19It's good to walkin' goody
15:21Congratulations
15:22You're the least four to six
15:23Val dolo
15:24Catch
15:25We're runner-ups again
15:26Runner-ups again
15:27No
15:29Runners again
15:30I don't know. Catch.
15:32We're runner-ups again.
15:34Runners-ups?
15:35Yep. Lost a no-show cup.
15:37Now we lost a walk-in competition.
15:38May as well be eating solo paninis.
15:40Why?
15:41We're fucking losers.
15:42Never seen a team with so many injuries as despised by lard Jesus.
15:45Think anyone's gonna see the Bulldogs and say, uh-oh?
15:48No fucking way.
15:50Want me to come over to your house, slam your fucking doors?
15:54CQ is looking cute.
16:00Annick Archambault here welcoming you back to another edition of Questionable Call brought to you by BroDude Energy.
16:10With me, as always, are panelists Jayon Wright, Tessa Bonhomme, and the man they call R.A.
16:16Mesdames and Monsieur, as you are well aware, BroDude Energy has been granted the exclusive broadcasting rights of the National Senior Hockey Tournament in Sudbury, Ontario.
16:25You can only imagine the cutthroat competition for that contract, Annick.
16:29Bet it was eye-popping.
16:30Remember when we used to cover real hockey?
16:32Today we continue the breakdown of the participating teams, starting with my home province.
16:36La Belle Provence.
16:37Representing Quebec at this year's tournament is Les Rapides the Rodden.
16:41Quebec is home to the toughest league in hockey, and make no mistake, Les Rapides are the toughest.
16:47Pierre-Luc Leblanc, Danic Paquette, and Steve Bosse.
16:50Leblanc fought the toughest guys in the show when goons were still in the game.
16:54Maquette's face looks like it was carved out of wood.
16:56If you think you recognize Bosse from the YouTube knockout videos, you probably recognize him from the UFC as well.
17:01He's 12-2-0.
17:02Someone else fans may recognize is the team owner, Quebec pop icon, Marie May.
17:06The multi-platinum artist and Keb Darling is also a hockey fan.
17:11One other thing worth mentioning to fans?
17:13She was once engaged to JJ Frankie JJ.
17:16With the Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs serving as the host team and the Sioux Hunt representing Northern Ontario...
17:21Sioux Michigan, baby.
17:22...we're left with one final entry.
17:23Representing Southern Ontario coming from the city with the most Italian Canadians per capita in the country, the Von Canadesi.
17:30Can only imagine there are a few Italians on the team, Anic.
17:33Actually, Jay, every single one.
17:36Ferrari, Ferreira, Ferraro, Barbieri, Barberio, Barbara, Tipeniditi, Diodato, Domenico.
17:43You get the idea.
17:45These guys play the game hard, fast, and emotional.
17:48So who are we looking for, Anic?
17:49Number 98, Marco Silvestri.
17:52Sly Silvestri?
17:53What, you know him?
17:54I used to be in Boston's system for a while.
17:56And?
17:57He could pick the prosciutto out of your teeth with his stick.
17:59More of a pancetta guy.
18:01So he loves the lumber.
18:02Oh, he'll be the dirtiest player in the tournament.
18:04Good matchup for Shorzy.
18:05I'm hearing Shorzy's hurt.
18:07The man doesn't like to be outdone.
18:08But does anyone really care?
18:10We'll find out soon, as the best teams in Canada descend on Sudbury today.
18:14The best teams in Canada and the Sudbury Mango Malamutes.
18:17Oh, you're fucking hilarious, Liam.
18:18If things get rough, just throw one of your band-aids at them.
18:20You too, Cory, you're so fucking funny.
18:22Squirtin' with some polysporin'.
18:23Like the funniest guys who ever lived.
18:25Why aren't you laughing?
18:26Don't worry, Liam.
18:27I don't laugh at your mom's jokes either.
18:28And every time she's like,
18:29What?
18:30I'm funny.
18:31I don't laugh at your mom's jokes either, Cor.
18:34And every time she's like,
18:35Be nice to me.
18:36Regular season league record only blowed in playoffs.
18:39Must sting.
18:40Little bit, Cor.
18:41Any regrets?
18:42My only regret is not serving my country.
18:43Oh, yeah?
18:44Yeah, and I think about it every time I go to war on your mom's ass.
18:47You're fucking awful, Shorzy.
18:48Fuck you.
18:49Fuck you, Shorzy.
18:50Fuck you, Liam.
18:51Better tell your mom to go get checked out.
18:53I saw Cory's mom last night.
18:54Now my dick feels like it ate a pack of holes.
18:56Clean it up.
18:57Yeah, tell that to your mom, Cor.
18:59She climbed over my gear shift last night to hop on my wiener.
19:02That thing still smells like shrimp scampi.
19:04Fuck you, Shorzy.
19:05Fuck you, Liam.
19:06Every time I hit your mom from the back,
19:08it sounds like someone running in flip-flop.
19:10Fuck you.
19:11Cory, I got your mom on speed dial and Liam's mom blocked.
19:14I don't know which one should be more embarrassed.
19:17He'saze環ísimo.
19:19They pay businesses to me again.
19:20They have easilyance, pursuit than driversровored broken in flip-flop.
19:22They're all happy to keep them all.
19:24I get them nice to drive homes for hours and ads.
19:25Former team hacemos scrubs of food should be easier for rare.
19:26They bring neighbors to 911.
19:27Off toilet regular overload, right?
19:28A situation that's crazy.
19:29I need to know which one's okay.
19:30Their engineers make the right asleep unless you allow imports to acell.
19:32Who's nice?
19:34They're all happy to meet.
19:36Any otherìnROCooks, right?
21:08After that loss, you've forgotten what makes you unique as athletes of this sport.
21:15Well, Lord Jesus, I never see a team with so many injuries as this bad.
21:18No excuses.
21:19But hockey players don't make excuses.
21:22You play for the logo on the front, not the name on the back.
21:25You play for your city and for your teammates.
21:27You win for them.
21:29No excuses.
21:30You can barely walk, I can barely lift my arm.
21:36Never let them know you're hurt.
21:39You're the leaders of this team and look at you.
21:41One's in a sling, one's limping around.
21:43You're crying about being cold.
21:46Look at your balls that tug.
21:47You're hockey players.
21:49Never let them know you're hurt.
21:50Georgie, you're the captain of this team.
21:56Why do we lose to the Yanks?
21:58No excuses.
21:59You hurt?
22:00Go to you can't go no more.
22:02Then why are you all like...
22:03We didn't earn it.
22:08Doesn't matter how you get to the dance.
22:09You just gotta get there.
22:10Yeah, and then what, Sanguinette?
22:12Then...
22:12Huh?
22:15Find that fuck you attitude.
22:19You went down to the Yanks.
22:21Took them seven games, but you lost.
22:23You're right.
22:25Maybe you shouldn't be here.
22:26But you can't look at the rear view and the road at the same time.
22:30You're the best team in the history of the no-show.
22:34You're record holders.
22:3624 wins, zero losses.
22:38A perfect season.
22:41So you've got two options.
22:43You can sit around and cry about losing to the Yanks in the playoffs.
22:47Or find that fuck you attitude and beat them on the national stage.
22:53Georgie, you think you can find it?
22:55Is that the runner-up section?
23:02Well, we'll sit over here then.
23:04Pretty quiet over there for once, Shorzy.
23:06Alright.
23:07Having a cry?
23:08I get it, bud.
23:09Life's tough.
23:10Want to talk?
23:11Easy, fellas.
23:12Where's the fucking barmaid?
23:14Yeah, send the barmaid over to the winner's section when she's done the runner-ups.
23:18Runners-up.
23:29What?
23:30Runners-up.
23:32What's he saying?
23:33It's runners-up, not runner-ups.
23:36Dumb fucking cunts.
23:38Call out what you want, bud.
23:39You're tossing.
23:40You're fucking extras.
23:41Ton of hockey left, boys.
23:43Ton of hockey left.
23:44Fuck you.
23:45Fuck you.
23:46Found it.
23:46Shut the fuck up, Delaney, you fucking cokehead.
23:48What are you gonna do?
23:49You've done too many speedballs, bud.
23:51Piece of shit.
23:52Fuck you, man.
23:52What's that you were saying about respect against me?
23:55Sometimes you have to demand it.
23:56What are you gonna do?
23:57You're in a sling, goodie.
23:58Come here and find out.
24:00What are you gonna do?
24:00No, fine.
24:01You're not gonna fucking do anything.
24:03Won't see much fighting in this tournament, eh, not?
24:05Let's fucking see it.
24:06Think we have a chance of winning this thing?
24:08They look ready to me.
24:09Let's talk.
24:10Let's go.
24:11Come on.
24:11What are you guys doing?
24:12Are you gonna do something?
24:13Hold on.
24:14Hockey, baby.
24:14Is that the Sudbury guys?
24:17Yeah?
24:19Uh-oh.
24:19Yeah.
24:21Je viens de là où les vagabonds mettent des bagues dans leurs bas blancs.
24:24Mon anglais est joual, mon accent est grave, on rappe dans notre propre langue.
24:28Pareil que le rap français, c'était pas pareil dans votre temps.
24:31Ouais, maintenant c'est notre temps, héros dans mon hometown.
24:34On t'amène faire le tour de l'île, dans mon LL's tout des journalistes.
24:38On a nos propres numéro 10, on rappe la guille, la fleur de l'is.
24:43Yeah.
24:43Le cadre en Suisse donne l'art de l'Est, j'ai mis Montréal sur la liste.
24:48And that's why they call me, hometown hero.
24:51Je parle en joual, mais je compte en euros.
24:53Je suis dans l'avion, c'est showtime, les gars sont chauds de même, l'autre bord, they know.
24:57Sold our venues, back then, fallait qu'on saute dans le métro.
25:01Maintenant, ils déroulent le tapis rouge dès qu'on rentre chez nous.
25:04Hometown hero, hometown hero, hometown hero, no doubt, they know.
25:12Parlons de l'art, comptons, neuro, hometown hero, hometown hero.
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