- 2 days ago
First broadcast 6th November 1980.
A landlady named Kate asks Terry to provide the muscle to help her remove a young couple of squatters.
Dennis Waterman - Terry
George Cole - Arthur
Michael Robbins - McQueen
Annette Lynton - Helen
Toyah Willcox - Kate
James Ottaway - Vickery
Simon Cadell - Simon
Michael O'Hagan - Filmer
Mike Savage - Bernie
Frances Low - Shirley
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Tony Osoba - Pearce
Sara Clee - Rita
Douglas Reith - Bellars
Michael Jayes - Boardman
Harry Towb - Harry
Adrian Bracken - Kevin
Steve Emerson - Kate's Heavy #2
Alan Harris - Club Patron
Stewart Harwood - Pub Patron
Nick Hobbs - Kates Heavy #1
Lew Hooper - Club Patron
Alf Joint - Kate's Heavy #1
John Louis Mansi - Chef
Doug Robinson - Kates Heavy #2
Peter Wight - Alan
A landlady named Kate asks Terry to provide the muscle to help her remove a young couple of squatters.
Dennis Waterman - Terry
George Cole - Arthur
Michael Robbins - McQueen
Annette Lynton - Helen
Toyah Willcox - Kate
James Ottaway - Vickery
Simon Cadell - Simon
Michael O'Hagan - Filmer
Mike Savage - Bernie
Frances Low - Shirley
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Tony Osoba - Pearce
Sara Clee - Rita
Douglas Reith - Bellars
Michael Jayes - Boardman
Harry Towb - Harry
Adrian Bracken - Kevin
Steve Emerson - Kate's Heavy #2
Alan Harris - Club Patron
Stewart Harwood - Pub Patron
Nick Hobbs - Kates Heavy #1
Lew Hooper - Club Patron
Alf Joint - Kate's Heavy #1
John Louis Mansi - Chef
Doug Robinson - Kates Heavy #2
Peter Wight - Alan
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00No, no, the thing is, Terry, hey, look, what's that thing flashing across the top there?
00:10Are you supposed to eat it? Go on, go on, fire, fire!
00:13Oh, for your sake!
00:14Look, look, you move right with that one, you move left with that one, all right?
00:17Yeah, I know, I know that, I know that, I know, it's gone now.
00:19Hey, why'd you put this in, Harry? What have happened to darts?
00:22You show me a dartboard that devours money like that terrible thing, I'd be happy to hang it on the wall.
00:28You're no good at darts, either.
00:29That is not the point.
00:31Dad, look, this is not firing every time I press it.
00:34No, what I was saying, Terry, was I need to clear your flat for a couple of hours or so.
00:38What for?
00:39Refurbishing.
00:40Re-what?
00:41Nah, he's programmed, isn't he? You can't beat that. I mean, where's the skill in that?
00:45No, I've got a temper here.
00:47Fancy a game of doubles?
00:49What, with him? You're joking?
00:50Come on, better game is doubles.
00:53Well, I'll tell you what, I had a little bit of interest, what I do down my boozer.
00:57A little bit on the side.
01:00Say, a fiver?
01:01Fiver?
01:02Yeah, it's usual.
01:03Well, why not, Terry, eh? I was just getting the hang of it, wasn't I?
01:07Well, yeah, all right, yeah, all right.
01:10All right, put our money up, son.
01:11You'll make one of that first?
01:13Yeah, yeah, we'll set them a target to get, shall we?
01:15Yeah.
01:16Yeah, hold that.
01:17Very tasty.
01:35That's it. Go on, go on.
01:36Go for the hundred.
01:39You're a novice, innit?
01:40Not at all.
01:41There you are.
01:45No, that's all.
01:46No, about the key.
01:48No, mate.
01:49No, no, we had an agreement about that.
01:51What?
01:52The last time we had the key to my gap, you were stumbling in every time you got half-cut.
01:56Once, Terry, I did that once, be fair.
01:58Yeah, and you certainly chose your moment, didn't you?
01:59Yeah, nice girl, as I recall.
02:01Yeah.
02:01Nice shoulders.
02:02I do like a girl with nice shoulders.
02:04Anyway, look, it was an emergency.
02:06Emergency?
02:06See, you kept us up till five in the morning, picking a team for the next World Cup, and
02:10that was just the midfield.
02:11Look, I only need it for a couple of hours.
02:13Yeah, but what for?
02:14I want to see what sort of nick it's in, see if it needs painting.
02:16Painting?
02:17Look, I have two grand invested in that flat in key money, Terry.
02:21I mean, I have a right to protect my investment, have I not?
02:24Have I not?
02:26Yeah, I suppose so.
02:28What time is it?
02:30Two o'clock.
02:31Well, I want that back in the Winchester at four.
02:34I want to get some kit this afternoon.
02:35I've got a late one tonight.
02:37You going up west?
02:38Yeah, I'm picking Helen up from Elsa's.
02:40Elsa?
02:41Is that the one that works at Safeways?
02:43Elsa's is a nightclub, you prune.
02:55Hey, that Helen, she got a friend.
02:58It's about time we went out on the town again.
03:00Well, the truth is, she disapproves of you.
03:02Thinks you're a bad influence.
03:03Oh, I hope you put her right.
03:05Just don't forget that key.
03:07That is what is known as loyalty.
03:10I don't suppose you'd know anything about that, though.
03:11If you're trying to fire up.
03:12The wingman, out the wing!
03:42No! Never mind about that! Come on!
04:00Thank you, Simon. Lovely to see you here again, Mr. Beres.
04:03Can I help you, sir?
04:06Yeah, I'm looking for Helen. She's just started working here behind the bar.
04:10Yes, of course. Helen.
04:13Well, I think you'll find it much more convenient if you use the rear entrance.
04:17Right and right again.
04:19A member of staff will tell her you're here, sir.
04:22Cheers.
04:28Is Bernie there?
04:30Well, when he makes an appearance, kindly reminded me he's supposed to be on the door with me.
04:37Excuse me. I'm looking for Helen.
04:39You can get through to the bar. I'm bad.
04:41It's off.
04:42Don't need me to cry. Don't need me outside.
04:54That's good.
04:55The wine menu.
04:56Good.
04:57Come on.
04:58Can you get through to the bar?
05:02Oh, my lady, darling.
05:09Oh, my lady, darling.
05:13Terry?
05:15Oh, I can't get away just at the moment.
05:17Brandy, gorgeous. Large one.
05:19Staff aren't supposed to drink at the bar, Bernie.
05:22Medicinal purposes?
05:23Hang on, Terry. I'll be with you in a minute.
05:27Anyway, Mr. Young's been looking for you.
05:35Your usual.
05:36Oh, lovely.
05:39Terry, it's been a slight hit. Sandra's got a cold, so she's not going away for the weekend.
05:43Are you kidding?
05:44Never mind. We can go to your place.
05:46We can't. Arthur's got a bleeding key.
05:48We were supposed to have a meet, and he never showed.
05:50What does he want with it?
05:51Well, he's doing us a right favour, Sir Hams.
05:53He's going to get the place redecorated.
05:55There you go, Jacko. 20 by 17.
05:57Fitted carpet, gas central heating.
06:01Yeah.
06:02The full grand, Arthur.
06:04I mean, key money you expect. The full grand.
06:06Oh, but it's not just key money, Jacko, is it?
06:08I mean, it's fixtures and fittings.
06:09I mean, gas cooker, fridge, carpet, bed.
06:14I'll chuck in the bed.
06:15Ian, does your niece work in town?
06:17Because the tube's only just round the corner. It's a real doddle.
06:20I don't know, Arthur. It's a lot of money.
06:22Yeah, but it's not just key money, Jacko, is it?
06:24I mean, this is your upwardly mobile area.
06:26Geezers from the telly.
06:28I'll tell you what, Arthur.
06:29I'll sleep on it tonight.
06:31You come round the yard tomorrow,
06:33and we'll have another little chat, Rob.
06:35No worry, Jacko. You take your time.
06:37I'll be round at nine.
06:38Oh, and, uh...
06:39By the way, Arthur,
06:41if you do happen to bump me into Doris,
06:43don't mention my niece, will you?
06:45Doris is a bit iffy about their family at the moment.
06:47Not a dicky, Jacko.
06:48What's this, you horrible little man?
06:54It's Caesar's salad, sir.
06:56Well, I happen to know something about food,
06:58and I happen to know that Caesar's salad has walnuts in it.
07:01Yes, but...
07:02So why don't you and I go along to the kitchen, Dino,
07:05and I'll give you a little devil's stretch.
07:07Put your hands on devil's stretch.
07:09Don't look back, Mr. Dino.
07:11Come on.
07:11Down we go.
07:12Oh, no, please.
07:13That's a good chance.
07:14Down we go in the kitchen.
07:15Is Burney there, Mr. Young?
07:22I think there's some trouble in the kitchen.
07:24Out!
07:25Down then, everybody.
07:26We're going to have a lesson in how to order Caesar's salad.
07:29Nuts!
07:30We must have nuts!
07:31Where's your nuts, little man, eh?
07:34Understand?
07:34Comprene?
07:35You're speaking glazy, eh?
07:37And drink!
07:38Lots of drink!
07:41Right.
07:42Tomatoes, the lot,
07:43cucumber.
07:44You, fetch me raisins!
07:46Oh, come on, gentlemen.
07:47You're keeping the staff from their work.
07:49Work?
07:50Can't even make a salad!
07:52Why don't we go to the far-out of the woods?
07:54Get your hands off me.
07:55Come on.
07:56Oh!
08:00Come on, come in!
08:06Come on!
08:07Come on!
08:10Come on!
08:10Scrum down, man!
08:16I don't get pushed around by yogs like you.
08:19All right, all right, hold on.
08:21You won the match, now give it a rest, eh?
08:23Don't you people ever listen.
08:24Ooh!
08:25Ooh!
08:25That's what you get through drinking on an empty egg.
08:39Ooh!
08:42If you wish to inspect the kitchens, Mr. Bellows, you have only to ask.
08:45No royals, you tonight, I hope.
09:02I shall have to let Bernie go.
09:04Elsa's is a very quiet little club.
09:07The temptation here is to get a little flabby.
09:09In Bernie's case, the situation was accelerated by the liberal use of my brandy.
09:15You, on the other hand, are not at all flabby, Mr. McCann.
09:18Are you employed at the moment?
09:20No, he isn't, Mr. Filmer.
09:21Um, I've got a lot on his hands, yeah.
09:23Simon here has been managing Elsa's for me for five years.
09:26If he advises me to hire someone, I accept his advice without question.
09:31He seems to think that you'd make an ideal replacement for Bernie.
09:34Terry, that's fantastic.
09:36£120 a week, free meals from our menu, of course,
09:39and a share of the staff gratuities fund.
09:41Should your show promise, there's no reason you should always be a doorman.
09:45Um, look, I appreciate the offer, Mr. Filmer, but, um,
09:48well, I've got a partner, you know, half a daily, and...
09:50Oh.
09:51Yeah, well, it's not just a job, you know.
09:53We're old friends.
09:54He's seen me right a few times.
09:55For goodness sake, Terry.
09:57Um, excuse me, there's a gentleman here.
10:00Where do you are?
10:01I've been all over bloody Mayfair looking for Ellen.
10:04Arthur, this is Helen.
10:06Hello, my dear.
10:07But I sussed it in the end.
10:09Yeah, er, this is Mr. Filmer.
10:11He owns the club.
10:12Arthur Daly.
10:13Nice place you've got here.
10:14Now I know where it is, I'll pop in again sometime.
10:16I'm afraid the membership is closed.
10:17Really?
10:18What a shame.
10:18You'd think people would be queuing up to join, wouldn't you?
10:20I'd have a word with my boy.
10:21Terry.
10:23Yeah, hold that.
10:24Cheers.
10:28Now, listen.
10:29Where were you?
10:30I spent the whole afternoon in the winter stuff, didn't I?
10:32I'm knackered now.
10:32Well, look, something cropped up.
10:34Now, we have an important meet tomorrow.
10:35I will pick you up at the flat.
10:37You won't, not unless you give me the key.
10:38Oh, all right, all right.
10:39Now, look, we could be on a nice little earner here.
10:42Half past seven, sharp.
10:43Half seven?
10:44On the dot.
10:45Now, get a good kipping.
10:46Must go.
10:46Got things to do.
10:46120 sobs for those unsociable hours.
10:58Plus tips.
11:00Oh, well, I see.
11:01I see the punter bungs a dorm and a fiver every time he bangs them on the cobbles, eh?
11:05No, no, no.
11:05All the tips are pulled, aren't they?
11:08How'd you get a lion in the mornings?
11:09Ah, it's the beginning of the end, Terry.
11:12Tax, national health insurance, graduated pension scheme, having to bow and scrape all their
11:18Murray Henrys.
11:19Yeah, but all I'm saying is...
11:20Look, at least for me, Terry, you got your freedom.
11:23Oh, there's Vickery.
11:25His little granddaughter.
11:26Bit of a punk rocker.
11:28Nice girl, that.
11:31Arthur.
11:32Charlie, Kate, and you must be Terry.
11:37Speaks very highly of you, does Arthur.
11:39Does he?
11:41My granddaughter, Kate.
11:43Hello.
11:44You're looking well, Charlie.
11:45Spot of fresh air, Arthur.
11:47Not much of that down there.
11:49I've taken to coming up here of a morning.
11:52I reckon it's the only way I can bear to look at that town now, from a distance.
11:57You'd have thought it a few years ago, eh, Arthur?
12:00The noise and the filth.
12:02The scum of the earth.
12:04Don't upset yourself, Grandpa.
12:06You were going to tell Terry about your little problem, Charlie.
12:09I was?
12:10The house, Grandpa.
12:12The house?
12:14Oh, yes, the house.
12:17Well, you see my little girl here, Terry, my little Kate.
12:21A man couldn't ask for a better granddaughter.
12:25Well, she's getting married quite soon, Miss Kate.
12:29Getting married to a schoolteacher.
12:30If I had the money, I'd buy him a nice semi.
12:36Only as it is, all I've got is this old house in town.
12:40A bit bummed down.
12:42Been empty for a year.
12:43What Grandpa wants to do is convert it into flats, then sell them off.
12:47Save him one for you and your husband-to-be.
12:50I keep telling him how expensive it will be, fitting five bathrooms and five kitchens.
12:55So what's the problem?
12:57Squatters, Terry.
12:59Squatters on my property.
13:00Now, I'm an old man, and me and little Kate, we don't know much about that jungle down there.
13:08Don't want to, either.
13:10So I turn to me old friend, Arthur, who knows about these things, in the hope that he might help us out.
13:17If for a consideration, of course.
13:18And Arthur tells us, you'd like first refusal on a flat, Terry.
13:23Do what?
13:24Yeah, well, we won't go into that now.
13:25I mean, we've got to get rid of these squatters.
13:27What's wrong with evicting them?
13:29Go through the courts?
13:30Well, might take months.
13:32And anyway, I've got to be frank, I need the money sooner than that.
13:36I think it's time we get you indoors again, Granddad.
13:39Yes.
13:40I reckon that's my bit of fresh air for the day.
13:43Come on, Charlie.
13:45There you are.
13:45Well, keep in touch, Arthur.
13:48It's good to know that you've got matters in hand.
13:52That's very kind of you, Mr. Davy.
13:53Not at all, Kate.
13:55So-so.
13:59Poor old devil.
14:00Is it me, or is he a bit doolally?
14:02Ah, vicar, he's all right.
14:04I've known him for years.
14:05At school together, were you?
14:09Yeah, what's all this about me getting a new flat?
14:11Yeah, well, I thought it was time we got you a bigger place.
14:16No, I don't want to move.
14:18Course you want to move.
14:20You're always going on about how cramped it is.
14:22I'm not.
14:23Yes, you are.
14:24You're forever banging on about it.
14:27Ah.
14:28No, I'm all right there, and we'll settle down.
14:30No, we'll talk about it later.
14:31You'll soon see the sense of it.
14:35I don't know what you were thinking of taking a job like this.
14:43I mean, squatters, evictions, it's dodgy stuff these days.
14:47There's 75 in your hand now, and 75 later.
14:5075, eh?
14:51How do I shift the house full of squatters?
14:54Ask them to step outside while I read the meters?
14:57Now, the thing is, you see, Kate and Charlie are on the innocent side.
15:00I mean, there was this geezer there on the booze.
15:01I just bunged him a pony, and he was off like a shot.
15:04And an Irishman who works for the council, he's visiting his sister in Manchester.
15:07That just leaves the two kids, you know, hippie types.
15:09I mean, the thing is, Kate and Charlie panicked unnecessarily.
15:13Shame.
15:14I wonder why.
15:15Now, look, there's no basement door, just a bit of corrugated iron.
15:19Look, if they're in there, offer them 50.
15:22Out of my 75?
15:23If that don't work, I'll think of something else.
15:27Got it all sewn up, haven't you?
15:28Don't worry, Terry, I'll be right behind you.
15:31Out here with the engine running.
15:32Out here with the engine running.
16:02Out here with the engine running.
16:32Out here with the engine running.
16:37Out here with the engine running.
16:53Out here with the engine running.
17:57Leave him alone, you bastard!
17:59All right, now take it easy!
18:00Keep calm or I'm going to break your arms, son.
18:03Easy!
18:04Well, now that you go now.
18:06And you're going to be low yourself, right?
18:08Yeah!
18:11You all right, Piers?
18:13What the hell are you doing here?
18:15I'm here because the owners of this desirable residence have decided they don't want squatters in it.
18:19What do you mean, squatters?
18:21Look, you find the old house, right?
18:22Neglected, falling apart.
18:24So you break in, change all the lines...
18:25We live here!
18:26Yeah, we pay rent!
18:28You pay rent?
18:29Yeah.
18:32Who to?
18:33Oh, this weird bit.
18:35Dead expensive gear.
18:36She comes round here about once a week.
18:38Yeah, with this guy in a big Rolls Royce.
18:41How do you park it in another street so it's not too angry the peasants?
18:43But I've seen him one day.
18:44Have you got a rent book?
18:47Anything like that?
18:48No.
18:49She don't allow nothing like that.
18:54That yours?
18:56Yeah.
18:59Come on, on your feet.
19:03Now, listen.
19:06I've got 15 cash here.
19:08It's yours if you move out.
19:1050?
19:12I can't take it.
19:14You know what it's like trying to find a place round here.
19:17Look, we've got one room clean and tidy for the baby.
19:19And I tell you, that's worth hanging on to.
19:22You're going to chuck us out on the street then?
19:25I don't know.
19:27I really don't know.
19:31Come on, don't take all day about it.
19:34Morning, Jack.
19:35Oh, low offer.
19:37Care to pop in the office?
19:38Oh, I've been picking it over, Arthur, and I've decided to take the flat.
19:46Very wise decision, Jagger.
19:47Yeah, there's just one thing, Arthur.
19:50I can't go to full ground.
19:51Three and a half is all I can manage.
19:54Three seven fifty.
19:55You can have a sofa in the armchair.
19:56Done.
19:57One minute.
20:07Right.
20:08One thousand.
20:10Two thousand.
20:11Three thousand.
20:12Seven hundred and fifty.
20:14Oh, I wasn't expecting you to cough up right away, Jack.
20:17It's all right, Arthur.
20:18I mean, I can't bank it, can I?
20:19And Doris gets nervous if there's too much cash around the house.
20:22Yeah, you wasn't wanting to move in right away, was you?
20:23Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, my, um, my niece, Shirley, has got things to sort out, yeah.
20:30Flat's still available, though, isn't it?
20:32Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course.
20:33Right, got to get on.
20:35Got a load of heavy duty, you, you rhinos arriving this morning.
20:38Oh, that reminds me, Jack, I'd like to ask your advice about something.
20:42Your friends couldn't do much better than this.
20:44Last year's colours, you see.
20:46Desert dust, gay, Cambodge.
20:48Trouble is, uh, none of them are matched up.
20:51But still, as it's not for personal use, it doesn't matter, does it, if you get my drift?
20:56Oh, I do, Jack, oh, I do, I do.
20:57You see, the thing is, these friends of mine, they don't know much about the conversion business,
21:01and I'd hate to see them exploited.
21:03Well, of course you would, Arthur, of course you would.
21:06Oh, how much you want for that little lot?
21:08Worth a grand, this little lot.
21:10Five hundred to you.
21:11Four?
21:12Done.
21:14If you pay me in cash.
21:16Yeah, of course.
21:18Oh, are you, um, you've got my little purchase ready?
21:20Oh, yeah.
21:21Uh, Kevin, can you put Mr. Daly's bidet in his car?
21:25Uh, midnight purple.
21:27Yeah, it's not for me, you understand.
21:28It's for a wife.
21:30Uh, and Kevin, here, come here.
21:32Mr. Daly has just bought up all our odds and sods, so don't move him.
21:36He has?
21:37Yeah.
21:41Rent?
21:42They say they're paying rent?
21:44What, by the bare-faced light?
21:46They seem straight enough to me, Mr. Vickery.
21:50They were very convincing.
21:52Convincing?
21:53Well, of course they were convincing.
21:55People like that living off the backs of others.
21:58They've got to be convincing.
21:59That's how the ponching swine get away with it.
22:02Grandpa's rather disappointed that this issue hasn't been resolved, Mr. Daly.
22:06As you can see, his health is poor as it is.
22:09With the worry about the household, I'm rather concerned.
22:12There is absolutely no cause for concern, Kate.
22:14Terry and I just wanted to clear up a few points, that's all.
22:17Yeah, I appreciate that, Arthur.
22:19Oh, and about the conversions, I think I've solved one of your problems there.
22:22What's that?
22:23A complete set of matching basins, barns and toilets.
22:27Latest colours, quarter of the market price.
22:29Oh, you're a gem, Arthur.
22:32A real gem.
22:33A whole man like me doesn't deserve good friends like you.
22:36Yes, that's very kind of you, Mr. Daly.
22:38When the time comes, I'm sure we'll be happy to talk about it.
22:43Right, then.
22:45Well, we'll, er...
22:47Come on, Terry.
22:50Cheers, Charlie.
22:51Bye.
22:53Grandpa, I'm not sure Arthur Daly can really help us as much as we think.
23:02Oh, Arthur will look after us.
23:04Don't you worry.
23:05I'm sure I could get some people who could deal with the squatters much more efficiently.
23:10Don't you worry your pretty head about it, little Kate.
23:14Of course not, Grandpa.
23:15Give us a hand.
23:31Help us put this in your car.
23:33What do I want it for?
23:35No, it's for her indoors.
23:36It's her birthday tomorrow.
23:37It's a present.
23:38I want it to be a surprise.
23:39Do you know what it is?
23:40Of course I know what it is.
23:41It's a bidet, isn't it?
23:43Do you know what it's for?
23:43Well, what's it matter what it's for?
23:46It's a present, isn't it?
23:47I'll get you a lager.
23:49Cheers.
23:49I'll get you a lager for young Terry.
23:57He's just sticking a bidet in his boot.
24:02Hey, Terry, I've been thinking.
24:04You know, I got you the flat.
24:06There is no reason why I shouldn't up the ante, get you a mortgage.
24:09Regularise our relationship, as they say in business circles.
24:12Pay you a regular wage.
24:13Oh, hold on.
24:14You said that was the beginning of the end.
24:16No, no, no, no.
24:17That depends on the circumstances.
24:18Oh.
24:19A fella called McQueen phoned for the Arthur.
24:21Something about a flat.
24:22Oh, fine, yeah, yeah, cheers.
24:23Thanks, Harry.
24:24Yeah, and talking about flats,
24:26that couple in Vickery's house,
24:28I think they're on the level.
24:29Oh, don't say you're falling for that, Terry.
24:31The next thing you'll be saying is you're a member of the Flat Earth Club.
24:33Listen, I think they're straight.
24:35They've got a little kitty there.
24:36Look, do you think I want to cause unnecessary hardship?
24:39Look, I will think of something.
24:40Don't you worry.
24:41What time's Terry coming in tonight?
24:43Eight on the dot, Harry.
24:45Ah, he'd like a bite to eat before the fun starts, I suppose.
24:48Oh, yes, he would.
24:49Excuse me, I am here.
24:51I've been meaning to mention this to you for some time, Harry.
24:54What?
24:54Now, Terry's been coming here two nights a week for a whole year.
24:57Yeah.
24:57And that is a great chunk of time out of a boy's life.
25:00Ah, you've been talking about money, I suppose.
25:03Well, you're off.
25:05He sees me.
25:06I exist.
25:08Thank you, Arthur.
25:09Thank you very much.
25:11What's he on about?
25:14I don't know.
25:15Oh, perhaps he's going to see his old gran.
25:18That always puts him in a dodgy frame of mind when he does that.
25:21You can take that away, no, are you?
25:22You look cheerful.
25:30So would you be if you had to spend the rest of the evening down at Brick Layers?
25:34Dreadful place.
25:35Dreadful?
25:36I'll tell you, young lady, it's a magnet for music lovers and connoisseurs of fine wine.
25:41Well, you don't sound very happy.
25:43I'm terrific.
25:44Is it Arthur?
25:47Oh, come on.
25:48Stop slagging off Arthur, eh?
25:51It's not Arthur.
25:51I like Arthur.
25:53Careful.
25:53Don't go over the top.
25:55It's you I'm worried about.
25:57Look, Terry, I like you a lot.
26:00I mean, I'm not going out with you just for laughs, you know.
26:03I think you're a really smashing guy.
26:06You're kind, generous.
26:08You've got a good brain.
26:10Oh, do leave off.
26:11What are you going to be doing in 10, 15 years' time?
26:14Same thing.
26:15And you'll be older, slower, and some young bloke will come along and cripple you for life.
26:22I mean, what am I supposed to think about the future, Terry?
26:24Listen, if I'm supposed to be so bleeding marvellous, how is it everybody spends all their time telling me what I should or shouldn't be doing?
26:31Change a job, change a flat.
26:32I mean, can I have some saying it now and again or what?
26:35Filmer still hasn't got a replacement for Bernie.
26:38Honey, hard luck.
26:45I wasn't planning on taking the gear so soon, Jack.
26:48The thing is, Arthur, we're a bit desperate for space, you see.
26:51Mind you, they'll have to take it wherever you want.
26:55Free delivery.
26:56I can't say fair enough.
26:57Yeah, I appreciate that, Jack.
26:58Yeah, but one other thing, Arthur.
27:00Um, concerning the flat, my niece Shirley would like to take a butcher, so if we could pop round this evening.
27:07This evening?
27:08Well, just to get the feel of the place.
27:11It's a bit previous, Jack, isn't it?
27:13Well, if you want to reconsider, Arthur, I'll happily take back the key money.
27:17No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
27:18That's all right, that's all right.
27:19I mean, I couldn't pay you back today.
27:20I've already bunged you 400 this morning.
27:22Hmm.
27:23Uh, no, no, you can have a look, but you'll have to make it between 8 and 11.
27:28Fair enough, Arthur.
27:30Already, Governor, where to?
27:32Ah, you'd better follow me.
27:35I think there's somewhere on the way.
27:36I'm sorry.
27:52Nothing to be sorry about.
27:53Just got me wrong, that's all.
27:56I'm as thick as two short planks.
27:58I'm generous when it suits.
28:00And that's for ambition, though.
28:02Three-figure breaker snooker will make me happy, man.
28:04And now you're being ridiculous.
28:07I wonder.
28:08I wonder.
28:10I didn't mean to go on at you.
28:13No, I know.
28:14I know, I know.
28:21When will I see you again?
28:23Don't know.
28:24I'll give you a ring.
28:27Bye.
28:28Bye.
28:34I've got a good mind to report you to your employer.
28:41I'm going to get up.
29:02Evening, Arthur.
29:02Usual.
29:03Last one.
29:05Everything alright, Arthur?
29:06A bit hectic, Dave.
29:07Here, you've got any room in your yard out the back?
29:09Yeah, a bit.
29:10Could I dump something there just for the night?
29:12Nice drink in it for you.
29:13What's wrong with your locker?
29:14No, the geyser won't drive it that far.
29:16So you want to use mine, eh?
29:18Well, I suppose so.
29:19As long as there's nothing dodgy, you mind?
29:21Cheers, Dave.
29:22Hey, Arthur, mind me motor?
29:39Hey, goodbye, Dad.
29:43Well, I'm balanced after that.
29:46Here we are, then.
29:48Ah, my niece, Shirley.
29:51Hello, my dear.
29:52Hello.
29:53What's your show?
29:54Hello, Dave.
29:56You two know each other?
29:58Of course we do.
29:59I didn't know the pair of you was related.
30:02I think that calls for a drink, Dave.
30:04Oh, yeah.
30:04No rush, no rush.
30:05Oh, buys one of them tequila sunrises, jerky pooms.
30:09Oh, yeah, I'll have one, too.
30:10Oh, Jack.
30:12Right.
30:16Yeah, that sounds like a shortish red-stripe beer.
30:20Looks like a punk rocker.
30:21What about the motor?
30:22Er, roller.
30:24Dark one.
30:25Er, brown, maybe.
30:26Yeah, that's it.
30:28I don't get it.
30:30What it means is the lady who's been trying to chuck you out for squatting
30:33is the same lady you're paying rent to.
30:35We've all been wound up good and proper.
30:38Yeah, but now that you know,
30:39Oh, yeah, now that I know,
30:41everything in the garden's lovely, innit?
30:43Listen, I'm sorry, but if she wants you out,
30:45she'll get you out.
30:45Doesn't matter what I know.
30:47Yeah, what are we going to do, man?
30:48I mean, we're the baby and all.
30:50Go to the rent people or the council or something,
30:52I don't know.
30:53Listen, er, you got a phone?
30:55No.
30:57Right, I've got to go to work.
30:58Er, you just sit tight, right?
31:00And try not to let her frighten you off.
31:02I'll see you.
31:08Oh, Jack, it's so cosy.
31:13It's, er, it's very compact.
31:14Oh, it's a bit bare, though.
31:17But I'll soon see to that.
31:19Yeah, she'll, er, she'll make a real palace of this place.
31:22She will?
31:23Hmm.
31:24She got taste, that girl.
31:26Oh, I can see it in me mind,
31:28exactly how it should be.
31:30It's a talent I got.
31:31Hmm.
31:32I, er, I thought we'd christen the place,
31:35if you don't mind, Alfa.
31:36We'll let ourselves out.
31:39Oh, you are a clever man, Jack.
31:41Hang about.
31:42Yeah, well, Alfa,
31:44I've got to look after my little niece and I.
31:47The thing is...
31:48Alfa, just two hours.
31:52I mean, she's going to get the hump
31:53if I bundle her out now, isn't she?
31:55All right, look, you can stay,
31:56but you must be out by 11.
31:58Oh, this wallpaper will have to go.
32:00I mean, it's just not colourful enough.
32:03Don't worry.
32:04I'll soon get a bit of life in the place.
32:08Terrific, Shirley.
32:10Terrific.
32:1111.
32:12Of course.
32:16Oh.
32:26Alfa!
32:3020 past?
32:39What's happened to Arthur?
32:41Something serious, I hope.
32:43Nice quiet night.
32:44You've got to admit that.
32:46Oh, yeah.
32:47Only two rucks and no one was sick over me.
32:49Oh, well, the explanation for that
32:50is quite simple, you see, Ty.
32:52I'm getting a different sort of punter in here.
32:55Classier, you know.
32:56I reckon it's all the hard work I've put in here
32:58that's paying off at last.
33:01Yeah, it must be.
33:02Yeah, you'll be serving soup in a basket soon.
33:04Not a bad idea.
33:07Oh, God, I think I'll shoot off.
33:10Tell Arthur I'll settle with him tomorrow.
33:12You could settle with me, you know.
33:14Oh, best not.
33:16You know Arthur.
33:17Yeah.
33:19Just a little joke.
33:23Temperamental.
33:24Bound to be in that line of work, I suppose.
33:32Jacko!
33:34Jacko!
33:36For crying out loud, he's half eleven.
33:44Jacko!
33:45I'm coming in.
33:46It's Arthur.
33:47Do you hear?
33:50Oh, my God.
33:55What are you doing lurking about here?
33:57No problem, Terry.
33:59Yeah, and I've got a boat to pick with you
34:01about vicaring his darling little granddaughter.
34:04Oh, you can't go in, Terry.
34:06What?
34:07I'm not so tired of it.
34:08Go to bed, all right?
34:10Don't you see, that's the problem.
34:12There's this fella, he's interested in the flat
34:13for his niece, and he just wanted her to have a look.
34:15See if it suited you, do you know?
34:16That's no problem, we get him out.
34:18Now!
34:18No, no, no, we can't.
34:19Yes, we can.
34:20No, no, no, no, it's not as easy as that, Terry.
34:22You see, there's a little matter of, um...
34:24What?
34:24Well, you know, uh...
34:27You haven't taken key money.
34:28No, no, no, no, no, don't panic.
34:29You haven't, yeah.
34:31You've taken key money off of him.
34:32You've made a nice few quid.
34:33You've given the keys of my flat without even telling me.
34:36Yeah, look, they haven't, actually.
34:36You're taking liberties with my house.
34:38No, no, look, we'll have a nice little flat for you at the Vicaries.
34:41Nice little flat at the Vicaries, eh?
34:42Yeah.
34:43Well, that's where you're wrong, sunshine.
34:45Those people, they're legal tenants, they're not squatters.
34:48That Katie, she's done you up like a kipper, son.
34:50She just wants them out
34:51so she can have the place cleared for a quick sale.
34:54There won't be any flat.
34:55Just thank you very much and good night, innit?
34:57No, look, Terry.
34:58Terry.
34:59And what about all those basins, eh?
35:01All those nice baths, the bidets.
35:03Look, why don't we go back to my place and have a nice drink?
35:06Look, just for once, shut it, will you?
35:09No, I'll tell you what.
35:10Here we are.
35:12You can have that one, silver, and all.
35:14You can have them coming in and out in shifts, can't you?
35:16Where you going?
35:18To get a job.
35:22Yes, Terry.
35:23The office's still open.
35:25If Simon's in agreement, of course.
35:27It would suit me very well.
35:29When do I start, then?
35:30Come in midday tomorrow.
35:31We'll sort out the details.
35:35Well?
35:35Start tomorrow.
35:37Terry, that's great!
35:39No, there's a slight problem, though.
35:41What?
35:42I've got to stay at your place tonight, innit?
35:44Oh, that's terrible.
35:45Especially if Sandra's away visiting her mum.
35:47Oh, worse and worse.
35:50Hey, do you mind?
35:51Excuse me.
35:53I've got the cash, Jack.
35:55I will refund you your key money, less 400 quid.
35:57Because, as it happens, I don't want them baths and basins after all.
36:01All right, all right, all right.
36:01I'll refund you the whole whack.
36:03But I've got to hang on to the flat.
36:05Arthur, Shirley is very pleased with the flat.
36:08She thinks it's ideal, and so do I.
36:10So don't let's have any more discussion about it, right?
36:12Yeah, but...
36:13In fact, she is moving some of her belongings in today.
36:16What?
36:17And as for them baths and toilets, I don't want them back.
36:20I mean, why do you think I've flocked them to you in the first place?
36:25Right, Arthur, I've got things to do.
36:31It looks good.
36:32How does it feel?
36:33I'm just not used to wearing ties.
36:35Trying to remove the bouncer's bow ties
36:37considered the height of wit by some of our younger members, sir.
36:41They'll get a smack then, won't they?
36:43No, they won't, Terry.
36:45Because you'll laugh with them.
36:47You'll chuckle at their winning ways
36:48and thank them profusely for brightening up your day.
36:50And remember this, Terry.
36:52If anyone cuts up roughing here, you use the minimum of violence.
36:56You behave as though removing them from the premises
36:58is the biggest honour you've ever had.
37:01Yeah, all right.
37:03Good.
37:05Now, I think we both deserve a drop of the boss's straight malt.
37:08Can he mind you nicking all his whisky?
37:10Well, let's say I don't allow him to mind.
37:13For you?
37:14No, thanks.
37:14Now, I'll stick to buying me own.
37:18As you wish, Terry.
37:26Here, Arthur.
37:27I've been trying to contact you all over Bleedentown.
37:29Why? What's the problem?
37:30Faking problem.
37:31I can't move me motor, that's all.
37:33We had to take a cab home last night.
37:34Oh, that.
37:35Well, let me make a couple of phone calls
37:36and I'll sort that out in a jiffy.
37:38You give us a large vodgan slimline.
37:39I've got a thirsty good photograph.
37:42Hello, Shirley.
37:44Arthur Daly.
37:46Very well, my dear.
37:47How are you?
37:48I just phoned up, see how you're getting on.
37:51Oh, that's lovely.
37:52Purple ceiling.
37:53That sounds very nice.
37:55Yes.
37:55Oh, well, I'll see you again soon.
37:57Bye-bye, dear.
37:59Here, it's about time you settle your slate and all.
38:02Oh, Dad.
38:03Have one yourself, Dave.
38:04Go on, big one.
38:06Give us a pan of teller.
38:07There you go.
38:12Yeah, take that paper off.
38:13Jack McQueen, please.
38:16Hello, Jack.
38:17Arthur.
38:19No, no, I just phoned up to let you know how everything's going.
38:23Everything's fine, yeah.
38:24I'll pop round and see how Shirley was getting on.
38:26Oh, terrific.
38:28Yeah.
38:28She's having a drink with her other uncle.
38:31Shining the place, you know.
38:33That'd be your brother, would it, Jack?
38:35Or is it your wife's family on the other side?
38:37No, it bloody isn't.
38:40Oh, Jack?
38:42Jack?
38:44Funny fella.
38:45Oh, Arthur, come on.
38:46What about my motor?
38:49Cabot if you're stuck.
38:51On me.
38:54Look, Charlie, this is very important.
38:56I've got all them bars and basins and toilets for you for the conversions.
39:01Toilets?
39:02Conversions?
39:03Latest styles?
39:05Quarter market prices?
39:06Oh, we don't need none of them.
39:09You take a look if you don't believe me.
39:11This is a modern house.
39:13They've flushed toilets running water.
39:16No, no, no.
39:17The old house, Charlie.
39:19The one with the squatters.
39:20The old house?
39:22Oh, I lived in that man and boy.
39:25Look, Charlie.
39:31Charlie?
39:35Charlie, where is Kate now?
39:38Do you know?
39:38Kate?
39:39She'll be at the old house.
39:41You sure?
39:43Yeah.
39:43Getting it nice for me.
39:46Close the door when you go out, will you, Arthur?
39:49A bit parky today.
39:50Listen with mother's finished, so let's have some silence, could we?
40:05I was thinking about the house.
40:09Must be worth the...
40:09Don't start thinking, Alan.
40:11It's not your speed.
40:13Hello, who the bleeding hell is that?
40:14No.
40:15Could I have a word?
40:21Sir.
40:22I know there's been an itch or two, Kate.
40:24You blew it, Daley.
40:26You made a right pig's ear of it.
40:27But it's all right.
40:29It kept Grandpa happy, thinking his old mate was getting him out of a fix.
40:33I'm picking the team now, Daley,
40:35because I like people who do what they are paid to do.
40:40We give the house a once-over.
40:41It's easy.
40:43Of course, yeah.
40:43I see your point, Kate.
40:45You do much more talking,
40:46and I'm going to start thinking about asking for my money back.
40:49Want me to ask him?
40:51Um, I'm parked back there.
40:53I couldn't bear to deprive the needy of a pissy few hundred quid.
40:57Well, the thing is, you see,
40:58I laid out a lot of cash for those basins and bars.
41:01I've had a nice offer for the house.
41:03Empty, of course.
41:04And I want to close the deal tomorrow.
41:07And I'm not interested in any basins.
41:10Best quality gear.
41:11Stop the car, Alan!
41:13I want this joker out!
41:14I'm not making a penny out of this myself, Kate.
41:22It's been really average meeting you, Mr. Daley.
41:25No, Kate.
41:27Kate.
41:28Kate.
41:34Well, we'll let the matter drop.
41:37Just this once.
41:46You sure Terry hasn't been in?
41:48Or phoned?
41:49There you go, Arthur.
41:56What's this?
41:57That's my cab fares to date.
41:5943 quid?
42:01Well, it's a long drive out of Basildon.
42:03But Basildon, you live round a corner.
42:05We moved a couple of months ago.
42:08If you'd listen to people, Arthur, you wouldn't get me these scrapes.
42:17Hmm.
42:18Alan, what time's your break?
42:21Oh, sorry, I thought you were Alan.
42:24She's what?
42:25This is a very serious matter, Helen.
42:28What's going on?
42:29McCann, do you mind?
42:30He says I was fiddling the till.
42:33Were you?
42:34Of course not.
42:35I'm sorry, Helen, but I caught you in the act.
42:37Look, what's happening?
42:38He said to me that if someone was drunk, that I should leave out the gin and just give them
42:45the tonic and we'd pocket the difference.
42:47Well, I wouldn't do it.
42:48So the next thing I know, he has me in here.
42:51I have to take the word of my manager.
42:54Listen, kid, wait outside by the car, eh?
42:56It's out of the back.
43:00You're out of your mind, Filmer.
43:02She's as straight as they come.
43:04You ought to have a go at that ponce there.
43:06Simon, for back on the door, please.
43:18Now then, McCann, the facts of life.
43:23Simon's worked with me for five years.
43:25He's an excellent manager.
43:27He's very popular with the customers and I trust him.
43:30Oh, yes, I know he cheats me.
43:32But I know exactly how much, I know exactly how far he'll go.
43:37Doctoring the drinks might have been a little too far.
43:39But I shall have a word with him and he'll stop it.
43:42You see, it's the devil you know, if you see what I mean.
43:46So Helen gets a sack for doing so-do.
43:48Not the way I put it.
43:51You know, I've known some villains in my time.
43:53Geezers who would break your arm just for the price of a pint.
43:55But you lot, Jesus, you'd turn me over more than all of them put together.
44:06Very nice to see you, Bertil, you're not okay?
44:07Very nice to see you.
44:13Listen, you slobby little getter.
44:15If I ever find you in my manner,
44:17I'll show you what a spanking means down the rough end of the market.
44:20Got it!
44:29What are you doing here?
44:31I just thought you might like to know that Kate's hired a couple of right gorillas to turn that young couple over.
44:35When?
44:36I reckon any time now.
44:39Listen, love, you take my car, eh?
44:41I'll catch up with you later.
44:42Okay.
44:43Cheer up.
44:44No, no, no, no.
44:46We want to get there before the weekend, don't we?
44:50Watch it.
44:50Look, I've just had it serviced.
44:52You should have said I was taking it easy.
44:53Get out of here.
44:57mystical
45:00Rudy
45:04era
45:06ry
45:07Are you ready?
45:08Ellen
45:09Youllません
45:10Youll not
45:11No, no, no.
45:12Youll not
45:13Youll not
45:15Assured
45:16Ed
45:17Youll not
45:19Where
45:20he
45:20was
45:21Ma
45:22Yeah, get the baby.
45:52Yeah, get the baby out of the house.
46:02Up there.
46:06Pierce, I'm frightened.
46:08Stay there.
46:10You're well out of order, James.
46:14You should stay in bed, John.
46:22It's Harry.
46:24I'm going to help him.
46:52How are things with you, Pierce?
47:08Pretty quiet.
47:10I don't understand this.
47:23I thought this was a present for her indoors.
47:25Yeah, she says she don't like that sort of thing.
47:27Here, Arthur.
47:28I had another 12 quid cab fare last night.
47:30A present for you, Dave, for all your trouble.
47:32What do you think I am a midget?
47:34Keep your ice in it.
47:36Come to collect the gear, Arthur.
47:38Good.
47:39Hey, and by the way, you did me a right favour with that little Shirley.
47:43Oh, yeah?
47:44Yeah, two-time in it all.
47:46Course you denied it all.
47:47No.
47:48So, of course, I've been in the flat, will I?
47:50Good news, isn't it?
47:51So have you got my money?
47:52Yeah, yeah.
47:53I've kept 400 for the barbs and basins and bits.
47:55You what?
47:56400.
47:57I can only give you two for them, mate.
48:00Eh?
48:01Last year's colours.
48:02Didn't even match, did I?
48:03Nah, you might as well keep hold of them.
48:05You reckon?
48:06No way, Arthur, no.
48:07He'll take you.
48:08Right, come on, lads.
48:09I'll show you where they are.
48:11It's all getting away from me, Terry.
48:14Still, look on the bright side.
48:15You've only lost 200, haven't you?
48:17That's worth a drink all round, isn't it?
48:19Yeah, I was just gonna say the same myself.
48:21Well that's worked here on my phone feel Youngblood on Facebook.
48:22But we'll keep his phone ready for mine feed open.
48:23I'm not so bitter.
48:24But anyhow, I'm so bitter.
48:25It's wild.
48:26Always Sweden.
48:27Would you hurt more women?
48:28For their equals.
48:30I don't have any time to say the same myself.
48:34You're alive for my unwillingness.
48:37Y handyman saw the same place, mate.
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