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00:00After being left out of the college football playoff,
00:06Notre Dame announced they would not participate in any bowl games.
00:10Hey, it's a Catholic university.
00:12It makes sense that they would pull out early.
00:14Boom!
00:15Bang!
00:16Yeah!
00:22Our theme song gets better and better.
00:25Welcome to Good Sports, the only sports show that mixes sports and comedy.
00:29Like the Raiders.
00:31I am Kevin Hart.
00:32Snap.
00:33I'm Kenan Thompson.
00:34Tonight we got a great show.
00:35We're going to be joined by the legendary Candace Parker
00:38and the great Sebastian Maniscalco.
00:40Yes, please.
00:41Now, before we get into it, I want to thank everyone
00:44for making us the number one show on Amazon Prime.
00:46Let's go!
00:48Yes.
00:49We're the big deal.
00:50Number one.
00:51Hey, and unlike Ohio State, we ain't giving up.
00:55Yeah.
00:56Seemed like they gave up.
00:57No, they did give up.
00:58Yeah, they gave up a little bit.
00:58Took their foot off the gas.
00:59Yeah, right off the gas.
01:00Yeah.
01:00Let it go.
01:01And now for the top stories of the week.
01:03We're stepping out the gate.
01:08Over the weekend, Inter-Miami won the MLS Cup
01:11against the Vancouver Whitecaps.
01:13No caps.
01:14Nice.
01:14Yeah, the game was not nearly as exciting
01:16as the celebration that followed.
01:18Cue the confetti.
01:20Oh, my goodness.
01:20Look at that.
01:21Look at that.
01:22Yeah.
01:23Wow.
01:24Oh, my God.
01:24Yeah.
01:26Oh, wow.
01:26It's not too much.
01:28You know that stadium janitor is watching it like,
01:30these motherfuckers.
01:31These selfish motherfuckers.
01:34I mean, one is enough, enough.
01:37Cut it off.
01:38Cut it off.
01:39If they had another camera that could cut to the janitor,
01:44he on the side like, no.
01:47It was snowing in Buffalo this weekend,
01:49and Jordan Phillips, well, he was not messing around.
01:52That's right.
01:53I ain't going to wear my coat.
01:54Yeah, that's right.
01:55No, I don't know.
01:56You know how much I paid for this coat?
01:57I don't know what y'all talking about, by the way.
02:00Y'all going to get frostbite out here.
02:01That's what's going to happen.
02:02You see how big the coat was on this uniform?
02:05He's like, fuck it.
02:06I ain't catching no coat.
02:07No, no, no.
02:08That there is the sign of a player
02:10whose mother was hard on him.
02:12Like, there's some players that definitely
02:14grew up in that household
02:16where your mom made you bundle up.
02:18Jacob!
02:19Yeah.
02:21You got your coat zipped?
02:24I don't want to zip my coat.
02:25I ain't zipping up this coat tonight, ma.
02:27Zip!
02:29Before I come down there
02:30and zip it on you for you.
02:33Jacob!
02:36You better put that goddamn coat on
02:38and put that goddamn coat on
02:39before I come down there.
02:40It's one of those.
02:41That's one of them.
02:41It's a run-on sentence.
02:43Put that goddamn coat on
02:44before you goddamn come down there
02:45and step on your goddamn coat.
02:46Yeah.
02:47For the white people in our audience,
02:49that's the way that your black mother
02:51talked to you when it was cold.
02:53When she's done playing.
02:54Yeah, she's not playing.
02:55You better goddamn put that goddamn coat on
02:56before I come down there
02:57and goddamn take your hand off.
02:58I'm not doing it.
03:00You understood.
03:01Every word is a kill to me.
03:03Every word.
03:03It's not a joke.
03:04Now, in the world of
03:06what the F am I watching,
03:07Walt Frazier sat down
03:08for a captivating interview
03:09with the Rizzo.
03:11This is how you do the wrist face.
03:12So, put one eyebrow down like this
03:14and then you raise one up
03:15and then you suck it like this.
03:18Then you do this.
03:19And that's how you do the wrist face.
03:22Did that happen just instinctively?
03:24Why would they do that?
03:36Walt Frazier's 108 years old.
03:38Why would they make him talk to you?
03:40Why would they sit him down with a kid?
03:42I got real fucking tears in my eyes.
03:47Because y'all don't understand
03:49how shows work.
03:50Like, there was a meeting that morning
03:52and somebody stood up at that meeting
03:54and was like,
03:55guess who I booked for the show today?
03:59I got the Rizzo.
04:03He's gonna do it.
04:04And people were like,
04:05are you serious?
04:06Is he gonna do it?
04:07Is he gonna do it?
04:07And Walt's in the back like,
04:09who the fuck is the Rizzo?
04:10He's gonna do it.
04:15Oh, wow.
04:16Okay.
04:17All right, let's keep it going.
04:18You know, after the loss
04:19to the Chargers last night,
04:21the Eagles could really use some juice.
04:23Thank God they got Devontae Smith.
04:25So, you know what's interesting?
04:26I bought me a juicer.
04:30And I've been squeezing oranges,
04:33apples, and pineapples
04:35for the past four days.
04:38And let me tell you something.
04:39It's amazing.
04:42How about we ask the important question?
04:45How the fuck do you squeeze an apple?
04:47How are you squeezing an apple?
04:51It doesn't happen, Kenan.
04:52I've never seen it.
04:53I mean, next you're gonna be selling,
04:55what, Slap Chop?
04:56I don't know, Kenan.
04:57I don't know.
04:58As an Eagles fan,
04:59we wonder why we're losing,
05:01and then I hear an interview like this.
05:03You know what I've been doing?
05:04I've been squeezing juices,
05:06pineapples.
05:07Is anybody else in here juicing?
05:08Because let me tell you
05:09what I just discovered.
05:10I've been juicing for the last five days.
05:12You know what?
05:13I like it.
05:14I'm blown away by it.
05:14I'm blown away by the process.
05:16You take a fruit,
05:17squeeze it,
05:18and the juice come out.
05:21It's amazing.
05:24I love my team, though.
05:25Just wait until he finds out
05:26about air fryers, man.
05:27His head is gonna explode.
05:33You ain't gonna believe this.
05:34What?
05:35So I'm frying shit,
05:37but without putting it in grease.
05:40I don't get to get that.
05:41Yeah, no, no.
05:42No grease.
05:44No grease.
05:44Hell no.
05:45I ain't use grease in five days.
05:47That ain't even...
05:49Hell no.
05:51Fry, Eagles fry.
05:52Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:54The Atlanta Hawks Jalen Johnson
05:56is a bad man with a good dad.
05:58Who may be his biggest fan?
06:00Check him out courtside.
06:01Yeah, yeah.
06:02I keep telling y'all.
06:03See that?
06:04Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
06:05My boy.
06:06Yeah.
06:06You know, he dresses like a 1990s Spike Lee.
06:09Did you realize that?
06:10That's the best version.
06:11Yeah.
06:11You know who else dresses like 1990s Spike Lee?
06:142025 Spike Lee.
06:15Hasn't really changed.
06:16Yeah, yeah.
06:18Hasn't really...
06:20Oh, no.
06:20Yeah, hasn't really changed.
06:21Oh, no to it.
06:22Staying true to the look.
06:24Yeah, yeah.
06:24Good, yeah.
06:25Committed.
06:26Yeah.
06:26Really committed.
06:28I'll be honest,
06:28I'm still having some issues
06:29with the Eagles losing last night.
06:31I have not recovered.
06:33Well, it is important to stay positive,
06:35which is why the Eagles
06:36put a giant inflatable positivity rabbit
06:38in their locker room.
06:39After last night's game,
06:40somebody should do a wellness check
06:41on that bunny.
06:42You're probably feeling a little deflated.
06:44Shut up, kid.
06:44Wait, is this the bunny
06:46doing a halftime show?
06:47No.
06:48That's a different bunny.
06:50Wait, wait.
06:51Hold on a second.
06:51I'm getting worried right now.
06:53We have the Philly positivity rabbit
06:56here with us in the studio.
06:57Where is it?
06:59That ain't no damn...
07:00Oh, come on.
07:01That's not no damn Easter bunny.
07:02What is that?
07:03That's a Christmas yak.
07:04You better get your yak ass out of here.
07:06Get out of here.
07:07Your yak ass.
07:08Get out of here.
07:09Get your yak ass.
07:10Get.
07:14There ain't no damn games around here, man.
07:18Desmond Bain can score from anywhere.
07:21Get your yak ass out of here.
07:22You heard what we said?
07:23You better get.
07:29Desmond Bain.
07:36Yaks, dog.
07:37All right, Giants breakout star Cam Scadaboo
07:41got injured against the Eagles in October.
07:43No doubt he's been taking it easy
07:45so he can recover quickly.
07:46Yes, he's super talented,
07:48and we are all rooting for him
07:50so much that we've been tracking Cam's progress
07:52with our Cam Scadaboo Cam.
07:56Yeah, it's like a nanny cam for Cam Scadaboo.
07:59Yeah, it's like a Cam Cam.
08:01Mm-hmm.
08:01Yeah.
08:02We've been getting a lot of notifications recently.
08:04I don't know if this one is from his physical therapy
08:06or his normal therapy.
08:08Tat, I got a twin right here.
08:11I'll scratch my chin with this.
08:14Good.
08:14Oh, wow.
08:15Ugh.
08:16Nice.
08:17Yeah, it looked like a thumb
08:18was on his goddamn shoulder.
08:20Did you see it?
08:20Yeah, yeah.
08:21Thumbs up.
08:21Somebody's up in his back.
08:23That's not something that you could just, like,
08:26show somebody and be like,
08:28oh, yeah, look, I got this thing.
08:30Yeah, like, that's...
08:31You gotta announce that.
08:32Like, you gotta really give a presentation.
08:34Let's explain how it really would be.
08:35Like, if I had that?
08:36Yeah, yeah.
08:37Hey, look, man, I'm about to take my shirt off,
08:39but before I do...
08:40Okay.
08:41I got a little person on my neck.
08:44That's fine, man.
08:44Yeah.
08:46That's fine.
08:46I'm totally prepared for that.
08:47I'm not gonna freak out if I see it.
08:48Okay, I just wanna make sure you don't.
08:50Yeah, yeah.
08:50Yeah, because it's gonna look weird, man.
08:52Sure.
08:52But it's not.
08:53Give me a countdown.
08:54Okay, I'm just letting you know
08:56it's gonna look weird, though.
08:57I'm ready for it.
08:58You sure?
08:59I'm gonna be normal.
08:59All right.
09:00Okay, man, I'm just gonna take it off.
09:02Okay?
09:02Okay.
09:02Here it comes, man.
09:03I'm just gonna show you just...
09:05Get the fuck out of here!
09:08I know.
09:08That's probably more realistic.
09:10I will know.
09:11Yeah.
09:11All right, well, we gotta take a break.
09:13We will be right back after this.
09:15Right back.
09:16More.
09:17Gotta go.
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10:24Our first guest is one of the greatest
10:26WNBA players of all time.
10:28That's right, you heard me.
10:29All time.
10:30She's a two-time MVP,
10:31two-time Olympic gold medalist,
10:33and an analyst for NBA On Prime.
10:35Check out just a few of her best moments.
10:38Rebound tipped out.
10:39Parker on the run.
10:40We're going to get a dunk here.
10:41Yes!
10:42She did it!
10:43She did it with 29.5 seconds left.
10:47Candice Parker saves the game!
10:50That's what superstars do!
10:53Candice Parker is possessed tonight!
10:57By one.
10:58By one.
10:59Ladies and gentlemen,
10:59please welcome Candice Parker!
11:03Thanks for having me.
11:04Thanks for having me.
11:05You didn't make enough noise
11:07on that dunk on the fast break.
11:08I didn't make enough noise?
11:09No, I feel like that's a bit of a moment.
11:10What should I?
11:11That's just a moment.
11:12I don't think you...
11:12Ah!
11:13Okay, my fault.
11:15Yeah, bitch!
11:16Somebody, somebody.
11:18Somebody should have caught one of those.
11:19Somebody got to catch that.
11:20Something?
11:20Yeah, man.
11:21Right?
11:21Every time, I would say.
11:23Yeah, bitch!
11:24Yeah, one time.
11:25I like that.
11:26One time.
11:26Yeah, I like that.
11:27Now, Candice, before we get into it,
11:28I got to ask you about this right here.
11:32You know, yeah.
11:33Yeah.
11:34Are you palming Kevin's head like a basketball?
11:36Yeah.
11:37I mean, listen, Kevin was telling me
11:39how much of an athlete he was
11:40at that point in time, so...
11:42Oh, gotcha.
11:42I had to let him know there's levels.
11:44There's levels to this, you know?
11:45Oh, that's a measuring.
11:46I got a question.
11:47Like, honestly, with this production,
11:48like, what the fuck are we doing?
11:51Like, where do y'all get these pictures?
11:53And I...
11:53How am I last to know?
11:55Like, I don't even know that that exists.
11:57I think we should send an email.
11:59No, I thought I got rid of that footage
12:00when she did it.
12:01I tried my best to get rid of that footage.
12:03No, it exists.
12:04Who are the frontrunners
12:05for next year's WNBA draft?
12:06Dallas wins.
12:07They got the first overall pick, right?
12:09So who do they pick?
12:10I think it goes to either Olivia Miles
12:12or AZ Fudd.
12:13We'll see.
12:14I don't know.
12:14It depends on what the franchise...
12:16Who would you take?
12:16If you were that franchise,
12:18you had the option.
12:18Ooh, you put me on the spot.
12:20Well, yeah, that's our job.
12:21This is what we're doing?
12:22Yeah.
12:22This is how we're gonna just...
12:23This is what I want.
12:24I want to put you in the hot seat.
12:25Wow.
12:26Who would you take?
12:26You want to palm my damn head
12:28on television.
12:30I want to give you a tough question.
12:32It's a get-back.
12:32Yeah.
12:32Well, Paige Beckers is playing the one.
12:35So I think you need a shooting guard.
12:37So I would take AZ Fudd,
12:39personnel-wise.
12:39But Olivia Miles, she's tough.
12:43Very tough.
12:43Why do you think today's rookies
12:45are better prepared to play
12:46in the league than before?
12:48Well, first, I mean,
12:49I didn't have NIL money.
12:50Okay.
12:51And so now players are coming in
12:53as a business.
12:54Yeah.
12:54And they're coming in with agents.
12:56They're coming in with trainers.
12:57They're coming in prepared.
12:58Yeah.
12:59Like, now I'm looking at my son.
13:00Yo, you gonna be a lawyer or a doctor?
13:02Now I'm like, no, bruh.
13:04Like, you gonna be an athlete.
13:05Yeah, yeah.
13:05Like, you gonna be...
13:07You're gonna be 6'9", 6'10".
13:09Right.
13:09Like, you're gonna play sports.
13:10I'm sorry.
13:11How old is he?
13:11He is 3 1⁄2.
13:13Oh, yeah.
13:14Yeah.
13:14Yeah.
13:15That makes sense.
13:16It is.
13:16Who's better for the league, Caitlin Clark
13:19or the Stud Buds?
13:23I think they both have their place.
13:26Honestly, Caitlin, what she's done
13:27for women's basketball in general,
13:30just the way she plays
13:31and she's backed up everything
13:33that the hype has been.
13:35Stud Buds, I think, came onto the scene
13:36and really introduced the world
13:39to the WNBA,
13:40which was a lot of fun.
13:41Just live streaming
13:42for 24 hours straight
13:44at WNBA All-Star.
13:46It was crazy,
13:47but I think that they have done
13:49a great job of promoting, like,
13:50the league in terms of just
13:52our brands,
13:53who we are,
13:54individual stories
13:55and all of those things.
13:56Everybody's responding, right?
13:57Those that have the opportunity
13:58to really take the floor
14:00and show their talent,
14:02show the high level
14:03of competitiveness,
14:04I think they've done that.
14:05But the game is so much
14:06more exciting now.
14:07It's because of the competition
14:08that has been put at the forefront.
14:11To see progression
14:11and continue to see it,
14:12I think it's a really dope thing.
14:13No, it is.
14:14For sure.
14:15Couldn't have said it better myself, Kevin.
14:18Okay, we heard your daughter's
14:19quite the volleyball prospect.
14:21What kind of sports parent are you?
14:22I would say I'm a little Kevin Garnett.
14:25Okay.
14:25I'm not one of those parents
14:26that's just like,
14:27I'm gonna just let my kid
14:28take their path
14:29and I'm not gonna say anything.
14:31No, I was never coached like that.
14:32I didn't grow up
14:34in a household like that.
14:35Like my dad was literally like,
14:36we used to call him Joe Jackson
14:37because that's how it was.
14:40Yeah, like I'm telling you,
14:42like we used to call him
14:43Joe Jackson of basketball
14:44because if we were working out
14:45and we were at a park
14:47and he didn't think
14:47we were working hard enough,
14:48he would just get in the car
14:49and leave and be like,
14:50you have 10 minutes
14:51till you get home.
14:52Wow.
14:52Running home.
14:53So I'm a product of my environment.
14:55Yes.
14:55I think this is a good time
14:56just to say,
14:57are you okay?
14:58Like why don't we just like,
15:00nobody's ever asked me that.
15:01Yeah, I was gonna say
15:02it sounds pretty traumatic.
15:03Yeah.
15:04But I mean, you know,
15:05like one, two gold medals
15:07and things like that.
15:08Yeah, you got the sacrifice.
15:10I guess it worked.
15:11The Jacksons made it.
15:12Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
15:14They made it.
15:15They were successful.
15:15Yeah, they were successful.
15:16They had sore asses.
15:18But they made it.
15:19You made it.
15:20No, I get it.
15:22Since you played in Chicago,
15:23do you put ketchup
15:24on your hot dog?
15:25Okay.
15:26I'm a Jumbo Chili Cheese dog
15:31type of hot dog person.
15:33So you can't put ketchup
15:34on a Jumbo Chili Cheese dog.
15:36Okay.
15:36Like our hot dogs
15:37and our pizza are the best.
15:39I don't care what New Yorkers say.
15:40I don't care about
15:41Philly cheesesteaks.
15:42What is happening here?
15:46She's not nice, man.
15:47You put ketchup on your hot dog?
15:49Yeah.
15:50I'm not the biggest ketchup fan,
15:51so I'm a mustard guy.
15:54Okay, so you put mustard
15:55on your hot dog.
15:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:56When did you change?
15:56High five for mustard, huh?
15:58Yeah, all right.
15:58When did this happen?
15:59I thought that we were
15:59on the same train.
16:01What, you put ketchup on?
16:02Yeah, I put ketchup on a hot dog.
16:03Good.
16:04That's nice for you.
16:05Okay, okay, whatever.
16:06We're going to play a game.
16:07We're going to play a game.
16:08This is a game that we like
16:09to call garbage time, all right?
16:10In this game,
16:11this is where we put one minute,
16:12one minute on the clock,
16:13and you got to answer
16:14as many questions
16:15as fast as you can.
16:17Okay?
16:17All right, you have one minute.
16:19All these questions
16:20are WNBA-based.
16:21Uh-oh.
16:22All right, you ready?
16:23Okay.
16:24All right, let's start the clock.
16:26Let's go.
16:26Okay, best uniform?
16:29LA Sparks.
16:29Worst uniform?
16:31Connecticut Sun.
16:32Okay, best current
16:34all-around player?
16:36All-around player?
16:38Brianna Stewart.
16:39You, Chuck, Kenny,
16:40shooting contest.
16:41Who wins?
16:42You said me, Chuck, Kenny.
16:44You didn't include Shaq.
16:45That's crazy.
16:46I didn't.
16:46We know.
16:47Why would you include Shaq?
16:48I'll say me.
16:49Yeah, good.
16:49Exactly.
16:50Why would Shaq even be in that?
16:51Okay, name your favorite
16:52WNBA analyst.
16:54My favorite WNBA analyst
16:56is LaChina Robinson.
16:59Ah.
17:00What choice?
17:00Better three-point shooter,
17:01Curry or Yonescu?
17:04Steph.
17:05Oh.
17:05I like the honesty there.
17:07Yeah, gotta be honest.
17:08A follow-up.
17:10Spell Yonescu.
17:13I don't know.
17:15Yeah, I can't spell that.
17:16I went to Tennessee, so.
17:17That's good.
17:18That's good.
17:19That's pretty good.
17:19You own your own team.
17:20What is the name?
17:23Tennessee Summit.
17:25Did she get it?
17:26Did she get it?
17:30Well, ladies and gentlemen,
17:31this is Tarnis Parker.
17:32She is a champion and MVP
17:33and a legend on and off the court.
17:36Thank you so much for coming in.
17:37We appreciate it.
17:38Appreciate it.
17:38We love you.
17:38We appreciate you.
17:41She's the best.
17:41How easy is that?
17:43This week in sports history,
17:45Arthur Ashe becomes the first black tennis player
17:48to be ranked number one in the world,
17:50forcing Wimbledon to change their all-white policy
17:53to apply to only clothing.
17:55That was this week in sports history.
17:58For 19 years,
18:04LeBron James has scored at least 10 points
18:06in every single game that he has played
18:08until last week when he did this.
18:15Right.
18:16Gave the assist.
18:18Gave the assist for the W.
18:19He dissed you to Rui for the greater good.
18:23That's called teamwork.
18:24That's teamwork.
18:25Teamwork.
18:26You know, teamwork is what it's about.
18:28Right?
18:28Without teamwork, we got nothing.
18:31Without your team, you're an individual.
18:34Individuals don't win games.
18:36Teams do.
18:37So in this case,
18:38I want to celebrate you, LeBron,
18:40for being exactly that.
18:41The definition of a team.
18:43And not the definition of an I.
18:44Because I will never get it done.
18:46Two people will try to get it done.
18:47But teams will.
18:49And that's what makes you a champion.
18:51That's what makes you,
18:52Kenan, can you give me a second, please?
18:53Just give me a second.
18:55That's what makes you different.
18:56And me and you,
18:58we share the same synergy and energy
18:59when it comes to understanding
19:01the concept of team.
19:02Which is why on this day,
19:04I celebrate you, Kenan.
19:05If I'm trying to get it out,
19:06you can't.
19:07You can't do that.
19:08Because right now,
19:08you're cutting me off
19:09and I can't get the whole message out.
19:11So do me a favor.
19:12Just take a second.
19:12Yes.
19:13Let me have this moment for us.
19:15I was just trying to say teamwork.
19:16So Kenan, I can't do it.
19:17If you keep talking, I can't do it.
19:19There's no way I can get it out
19:20if you keep talking.
19:21So I just want to say,
19:23LeBron, continue to soar
19:25at the levels of birds
19:27that we'll never see.
19:28Because just like you,
19:29I have wings.
19:30And I'll fly too.
19:31Because we share the same energy
19:34towards teamwork.
19:36That's right.
19:36Kenan, can you stop
19:37making this about you?
19:39Is it about you?
19:40Not at all.
19:40Is this about you
19:41or is it about Brian?
19:42Trying to give LeBron the trophy.
19:43Well, you're trying to be selfish
19:45in the moment
19:46where I'm trying to talk about us.
19:47Right.
19:48So what are we doing here?
19:51No, I was...
19:52Okay.
19:54I'm done.
19:54Are you done?
19:55No.
19:57Selfish.
19:57But I guess let's give
19:58Kenan his moment.
19:59Go ahead.
19:59Cool.
20:00Here, here.
20:00You got something
20:00you want to say?
20:01Say it.
20:01Good job, LeBron.
20:14Phenomenal first half
20:15for Kenan and Kevin.
20:16Both guys really on their game.
20:17Well, I love how they handled
20:18the Candace Parker interview.
20:20They laid back early
20:21and then they hit her hard
20:22with rapid fire questions
20:23at the end.
20:24Well, they played a zone defense,
20:25which is the right call there.
20:26Well, you can't play man-to-man
20:27because she is a woman.
20:30Now, let's get into the stats, Randy.
20:32I want to take a look
20:32at the number of punchlines
20:34landed in the first half.
20:35Kenan, 12 for 13.
20:36Nearly perfect.
20:37Couple of cackles,
20:38few unexpected guffaws.
20:40And I heard one,
20:41y'all crazy.
20:41You did not.
20:42I did hear that, yes.
20:43Incredibly efficient half for him.
20:45And let's be honest,
20:46he needed to be that sharp.
20:47Well, that's been a point of emphasis
20:48in rehearsal all week.
20:50Were they at rehearsals all week?
20:53Either way, we expected Kevin
20:55to dominate the time of discussion
20:57and guess what?
20:58That's what he did.
20:59Let's take a look at the insights, all right?
21:01Keenan with the slight edge,
21:023-2 in the first half.
21:03I'm not worried about Kevin.
21:04He is a second-half host.
21:06He is going to finish strong.
21:07Well, with that in mind,
21:08let's look ahead to the second half.
21:09What are you expecting
21:10with that interview with Sebastian?
21:12I had it circled on my calendar
21:13for months now.
21:14Well, we know he can be a little...
21:16He can be a little cagey.
21:17Be a little cagey.
21:18Be a little cagey, Sebastian.
21:19Cagey, Sebastian.
21:20They got to score early.
21:21That's right.
21:22First few jokes in the second half,
21:23they're going to be crucial.
21:24Tone setters,
21:25some bangers sprinkled in.
21:27I just hope they both stay out of the blue tent.
21:29Trick, please.
21:30It's lining up to be an epic finish
21:32as we will now send you back out
21:34to the studio for the second half.
21:37All right, our next guest
21:40is one of the biggest touring stand-up comics
21:42in the game right now.
21:43The New York Times called him
21:44the hottest comic in America.
21:46What are you doing?
21:51Why are you looking at me like that?
21:53Just looking.
21:54Last year,
21:55he shattered the record
21:56for the highest attendance
21:57at a comedy show
21:58at the Wells Fargo Center
21:59in Philadelphia.
22:04Why are you looking at me like that?
22:06Nothing, man.
22:07Never mind.
22:07Why do you keep doing that?
22:08I don't understand what you're doing.
22:09I'm proud of him.
22:11Good.
22:12Yeah.
22:12You should be.
22:13I am.
22:13I don't know why you're...
22:14Like, that's weird,
22:15what you're doing,
22:16because it's like,
22:17I got an issue.
22:18I don't have an issue.
22:19His seventh stand-up special,
22:22It Ain't Right,
22:23recently premiered
22:24in the number one spot
22:25on Hulu.
22:28Do we need to take a break?
22:30Do we need to take a break?
22:31Please welcome
22:32Sebastian Maniscalco!
22:35Yeah!
22:36What is gracious?
22:37Yeah, what's up, sir?
22:39Huh?
22:39Trying to cause a little rivalry.
22:42I see what you're doing.
22:43I see right through it.
22:44You see what he's doing?
22:44I'm just trying to investigate.
22:45A little bit.
22:46That's my guy, right?
22:48That's my guy.
22:48Like, we're friends.
22:49And you should be.
22:50Sebastian,
22:51we know that you are
22:51a die-hard Chicago sports fan.
22:54How are you feeling
22:55about the Bears this season?
22:56Well, we lost Green Bay,
22:58which I'm a little nervous about.
23:00Chicago Bears fans
23:01don't really get excited
23:02about much since 85.
23:05So,
23:06I'm looking right now,
23:08they might not even
23:09make the playoffs.
23:10All right?
23:11They could literally
23:12lose every game,
23:13including next week
23:14at Cleveland.
23:16I'm a little nervous,
23:17to be honest with you.
23:18That's trauma.
23:18That's trauma.
23:19That's trauma.
23:20I mean,
23:20talk about a fan going dark.
23:23Did you see that just now?
23:24Yeah.
23:25Now,
23:25you support both
23:26the White Sox
23:27and the Cubs.
23:29Make up your mind, man.
23:30Come on,
23:31even the Pope picked a side now.
23:34I like the White Sox.
23:35I grew up with the White Sox,
23:36but when the Cubs
23:37won the World Series,
23:38I wasn't mad at the Cubs.
23:39I'm not one of these
23:40nut fans out there
23:41that like,
23:42oh,
23:43if one team wins
23:45and the other team loses,
23:46if everybody's winning
23:47in Chicago,
23:48I'm happy.
23:49So,
23:50I like the White Sox.
23:51I just feel the White Sox
23:52for me,
23:53South Side,
23:54although I grew up
23:55in the Northwest suburbs
23:56of Chicago,
23:57I was gravitated
23:58towards the Sox.
23:59I just looked at the Cubs
24:00as like a weaker team.
24:02Like the Cubs fans
24:03wear sandals.
24:07Got it.
24:07Not into that.
24:08Got it.
24:08Enough said.
24:09Got it, got it.
24:10Okay,
24:11Chicago guy,
24:12this is an ongoing
24:12conversation that we're having.
24:14Catch up on your hot dog,
24:15yes or no?
24:16No,
24:17it's just mustard all the way.
24:18I mean,
24:19again,
24:19I'm not so much of a guy
24:21that go,
24:21you can't have it.
24:22You can't do it that.
24:23But,
24:23it's mustard,
24:24relish,
24:25pickles,
24:26onions.
24:26There's a lot
24:27going on
24:27in a Chicago hot dog
24:29and ketchup
24:30is a sin.
24:31Have I had ketchup
24:32on my hot dog?
24:33Yes,
24:34by accident.
24:35But,
24:36it's not something
24:37that is generally
24:39approved
24:40in the Chicago area.
24:41Wow.
24:42Why?
24:43That is a great question.
24:44Nobody ever told me
24:46why we weren't doing that.
24:48It's just,
24:48you're born in Chicago
24:50and on the birth certificate
24:51it says no ketchup
24:52on the house.
24:52Yeah,
24:53it's unbelievable.
24:54Got it.
24:54All right,
24:55what sports did you play
24:56growing up?
24:57Well,
24:57I was an unbelievable
24:59soccer player
25:00growing up.
25:01I had a beautiful mullet.
25:03I was a right winger
25:04and when I ran
25:05the mullet
25:07was just blowing
25:09in the wind,
25:10particularly when
25:11I went up
25:12for a header.
25:13I did the header
25:14and the hair
25:15just twisted
25:16around my head.
25:17It was a beautiful
25:18sight to see.
25:19Oh,
25:20yeah.
25:20Oh,
25:21this is a general.
25:21Yeah,
25:22that's good hair.
25:23This is young mullet though.
25:25We're not even
25:25into the mullet.
25:26We're starting
25:27to grow it here.
25:28Two or three years
25:29it was down
25:30to mid-back.
25:31Yeah.
25:32This picture is very
25:32close to being R-rated.
25:34Yeah,
25:34a little bit.
25:34It looks like
25:35you're one slip
25:36from a ball falling out.
25:37I don't like these shorts.
25:38Sebastian,
25:39there's a lot of thigh
25:40on those shorts.
25:41Sebastian.
25:41Hey,
25:42this is the 80s, bro.
25:43We all know
25:45the 80s basketball players
25:46had short shorts,
25:48soccer players.
25:49It was the thing.
25:50I still wear a short short
25:51every now and again.
25:53Okay.
25:54Yeah,
25:54but not that short.
25:55You don't go that short.
25:55No,
25:56that's a little too short.
25:57That's aggressive.
25:59Okay,
25:59Sebastian,
26:00your kids play sports.
26:01Have you ever gotten
26:01into it with another parent?
26:03Here's something
26:03I don't like.
26:04I was recently
26:05on the sidelines
26:06with my son's soccer team
26:08and I brought donuts
26:10for my side
26:12and I noticed
26:14other families
26:16from the other team
26:17were coming over
26:18taking my donuts.
26:21Now,
26:21I don't know
26:22if this is a Los Angeles thing
26:23or what,
26:24but growing up
26:25where I grew up,
26:26there was sides.
26:27You never crossed over
26:29into the other family's side,
26:32but I don't know.
26:33Everybody here
26:33in Los Angeles
26:34seems to be like
26:35it's all like,
26:36hey,
26:37we're all just rooting
26:37for the kids
26:39and I'm like,
26:39get on your side.
26:41Yeah.
26:42That's crap.
26:43I'm with Sebastian.
26:45I'm with you
26:45on that one,
26:46man.
26:46You know,
26:47you got to do
26:47what I've done
26:48in the past.
26:49Like,
26:49when they come over
26:51and they cross that line
26:52and they pick up
26:53like whatever the snack
26:54is that you bought
26:55for the team
26:56that you supported,
26:57you got to smack
26:58it out of their hands.
26:58And it's not a bad thing.
27:01I've done it.
27:02No.
27:02I've done it from fruit
27:03to fruit snacks
27:04to cakes.
27:05Like,
27:05get out of here.
27:06And sometimes
27:07a little push
27:08to a kid's back
27:09doesn't hurt either.
27:10Like,
27:10you just set the tone,
27:12right?
27:12I think you set the tone.
27:14All right.
27:15Sebastian,
27:15man,
27:15look,
27:16we're big fans
27:16of your stand-up
27:17as I mentioned before.
27:18We love it
27:19when you call out
27:19people in the wild.
27:21So,
27:21what we're going to do,
27:22man,
27:22we're going to bring
27:23those people
27:23to you in a game
27:24that we call
27:25Have You Seen This Guy?
27:28Have You Seen This Guy?
27:30Got my own segment.
27:32We're going to show you
27:32some pictures of athletes
27:34and you tell us
27:35what you think
27:36of these guys.
27:37Are you ready?
27:39Yeah.
27:40Jackson Dart
27:41making an entrance.
27:42Let's see.
27:42All right,
27:43this guy
27:43looked like
27:44he fell out
27:45of Wilson's leather.
27:48Yeah.
27:49Talk about a turtleneck.
27:52This is
27:52extremely aggressive.
27:55When you're hiding
27:56your Adam's apple,
27:57I hope this doesn't
27:59come off racist,
28:01but white guys
28:03in black leather trench coats
28:04just don't look right.
28:06It doesn't,
28:08it screams murderer.
28:09I don't know why.
28:11Fresh.
28:11Yeah,
28:11this guy,
28:12it just screams
28:13serial killer.
28:14Just finished.
28:15Yeah.
28:17Just,
28:17just,
28:18just finished.
28:20Killer.
28:21All right,
28:21next up,
28:22we got
28:22Mack Hollins.
28:24You seen this guy?
28:25You seen this guy?
28:26Oh, God,
28:27look at this guy.
28:28What is he, a Q-tip?
28:29I'm sorry, guys.
28:31I don't know
28:31where you stand on this.
28:33I'm into shoes.
28:35Get some shoes on.
28:36I'm not into
28:37this whole barefoot.
28:39Those are his feet.
28:39Oh, those are his feet?
28:40Those are naked feet out there?
28:42Feets.
28:42I thought it was a boot.
28:43Jesus Christ.
28:44That's the first thing I noticed.
28:46I didn't even notice
28:47this guy look like a Q-tip.
28:49He saw feet first.
28:51I'm just gonna say this.
28:52Once again,
28:52I don't want to sound racist.
28:54This is more like
28:55a white guy outfit, though.
28:56I got,
28:56I much rather
28:57see a white guy in this.
28:59This makes sense.
29:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:01Well, next,
29:02we got New York Jet
29:03who tried to come
29:04into the stadium
29:05incognito.
29:06Have you seen
29:07this guy?
29:08Yeah.
29:09What the fuck
29:10happened to Sammy Sosa?
29:11I don't understand.
29:19Listen,
29:19if I'm going up
29:21against this guy
29:22in a game,
29:24I'm out.
29:27It's amazing.
29:28Sebastian, man,
29:29I want to thank you
29:30for coming on, man.
29:31I love you.
29:32Keep going, buddy.
29:33Everybody,
29:33please make some noise.
29:34My God, Sebastian!
29:35Absolutely.
29:36You got to stop, though!
29:37You got to stop, though!
29:38Love you, champ.
29:39Last week,
29:40a story broke
29:40about Giants edge rusher
29:42Abdul Carter
29:43being benched
29:44for watching adult videos
29:45during a team meeting.
29:47Now, as you can imagine,
29:48our writers exploded
29:49with jokes
29:50all over themselves.
29:52Yeah, unfortunately,
29:53it was a premature accusation.
29:56That story was fake.
29:57More and more today,
29:58it's getting harder
29:59to figure out
30:00what's real or fake.
30:01In fact,
30:02here's some other headlines
30:03that totally got us.
30:04This is
30:05Don't Believe the Titans.
30:06Don't believe it.
30:08Don't believe it.
30:09Sacramento Kings
30:10commemorate last season
30:11by raising
30:12Western Conference
30:14participant banner.
30:15That's not real.
30:16They were there.
30:17That's not real.
30:17We were participating.
30:18We were there.
30:19Let's try another one.
30:19No, no.
30:20J.J. Reddick
30:21quits as Lakers coach
30:22to spend more time
30:23with his podcast.
30:26I mean,
30:27that don't sound bad.
30:28You heard about it.
30:29You listen.
30:29The podcast,
30:30he get long-winded sometimes.
30:32Yeah, he likes to talk.
30:33You got to get
30:33a lot of words out sometimes.
30:34That's where he lives.
30:35He likes to talk.
30:37Nike adds
30:38little guy
30:39to the swoosh logo.
30:40CEO says
30:41it was always
30:42supposed to be
30:43a canoe.
30:44Yeah.
30:44The whole time.
30:45Yeah.
30:46It was never
30:47supposed to be a swoosh.
30:48The whole time.
30:48I never got to
30:49put the little man in there
30:50because people jumped
30:52to conclusions
30:52with the whole swoosh thing.
30:55They didn't even know that.
30:56This is his chance.
30:57I had the little man
30:58right here the whole time.
30:59The whole time.
30:59Read it.
31:00I think that they
31:01would have responded
31:01differently.
31:02Yeah.
31:03Because it's more about
31:03what you can do, right?
31:05Just canoe.
31:06Just canoe.
31:07Just canoe it.
31:08Clay Thompson
31:09and Meg Thee Stallion
31:10open up an organic food bank
31:12called WAP.
31:13Wet-ass Perishables.
31:15Yeah.
31:15Yeah.
31:16By the way.
31:16Interesting.
31:16Yeah, no, but I mean,
31:17business is business.
31:18Yes.
31:19What don't you believe?
31:20Well, I don't want
31:21no dry perishables.
31:22No, no, no.
31:23If it ain't WAP,
31:23if it ain't WAP,
31:24I don't want it.
31:25Chiefs coach Andy Reid
31:27admits underneath
31:28my mustache
31:29is another mustache.
31:31Yeah.
31:32Another mustache.
31:33Yeah.
31:33Yeah.
31:34I don't want people
31:34to see the real one.
31:35No.
31:36I'm insecure about
31:37the little one.
31:37Yeah.
31:38That's why I put
31:38the big one over.
31:39The tiny little mustache.
31:40Yeah, yeah.
31:4227 NBA players
31:43tell wives
31:44they picked up
31:45Chris Paul
31:46from the airport.
31:46Yeah.
31:50Oh, snap.
31:52Mike Tomlin
31:53and Omar Epps
31:55switch places
31:56and then the Steelers win.
32:01Crazy, right?
32:03That's nuts.
32:03Yeah.
32:05NBA announces
32:06groundbreaking new
32:07all-star format
32:08East versus West.
32:09Yeah.
32:10Yep.
32:11I like that.
32:12I like that joke.
32:13It's groundbreaking.
32:14I like that joke
32:15because they're always
32:16trying to change
32:17the format
32:17as if it's something new
32:18but it's still
32:19East versus West.
32:20Every time.
32:21Every time.
32:21Yeah.
32:22Eagle fan
32:22eats positivity bunnies
32:24inflatable poop.
32:26Yeah.
32:27Yeah.
32:28That's what they do
32:29in your hometown.
32:30Yeah.
32:30That's your people.
32:31Yeah.
32:32I'm not proud
32:32of some of the stuff
32:33that we do
32:33but some of it
32:34has to be done.
32:35Who did that?
32:36In Philadelphia
32:37when we won the Super Bowl
32:38some fans
32:40would eat horse manure.
32:41How do you celebrate
32:43a Super Bowl win?
32:44Yeah.
32:45Mr.
32:46Mr. High and mighty.
32:48All of a sudden
32:49he too good
32:50to eat a little horse shit.
32:51Oh you know
32:52wearing something
32:54high and prestigious
32:55put some chin in your mouth.
32:56You wonder why
32:56the Falcons
32:57ain't never won nothing.
32:58Right.
32:58Ain't no horses down there.
33:00Ain't no horses
33:00that y'all ready
33:01to goddamn clean up asses.
33:03Everybody be careful
33:04out there.
33:05There's a lot of fake news.
33:06A lot of it.
33:06So do not believe
33:08the type.
33:08Don't believe
33:09the type man.
33:11Last week
33:12Vanderbilt quarterback
33:13Diego Pavia
33:14came on our show
33:15to make his case
33:16for the Heisman.
33:17The committee
33:17obviously watched our show
33:19because last night
33:20he was selected
33:21as a finalist.
33:22No way.
33:23Congratulations Diego.
33:25Congrats Diego.
33:26Congrats.
33:27Now you remember
33:27what you said.
33:28I'll see you in New York
33:29and then we're going
33:30straight to California.
33:31I love it.
33:32We're holding the spot
33:33for you and your trophy
33:34next Tuesday.
33:35Good luck Diego.
33:36Good luck Diego.
33:39That is our show.
33:40Thank you to Candace Parker.
33:41Yes.
33:41The Bastion.
33:42The Squire brothers.
33:43Oh and that whack ass
33:45yack.
33:45Get your yack ass
33:46out of here.
33:46Get your yack ass
33:47out of here.
33:48We will see you
33:48next Tuesday.
33:49Good night
33:49and good sports.
33:51Good sports.
33:52I'll see you later.
33:53I like that.
33:54It's my thing.
33:55You see that?
33:56Yeah.
33:56You need a thing bro.
33:57I'm going to get a thing.
33:58You got to get a thing bro.
34:01No no no.
34:01You got to get a thing.
34:02No no no.
34:03Don't eat that.
34:04No man come on.
34:05Come on.
34:05Camel off.
34:06Don't show that.
34:27Well everybody came together
34:29to put on a show.
34:30This has been good sports.
34:32Now it's time to go home.
34:34It's the credits.
34:36These are the credits.
34:39The credits.
34:42The credits.
34:45All credits.
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