- 2 months ago
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00:00Hello.
00:05These days I spend more and more time in my Wiltshire home.
00:11And the pub I own.
00:13Thinking about all the big problems in the world.
00:17And some smaller ones that annoy me.
00:21Luckily there's a place I can go to solve them all.
00:24Or at least try.
00:27My shed.
00:29Right.
00:31It's here that I have the tools.
00:33Let's just saw some wood up.
00:35The tea.
00:37And a couple of other highly competent blokes.
00:41Very good. Brace yourself.
00:43Who've agreed to help me rid the world of problems.
00:46Is she getting the ticket out?
00:47Great.
00:48Dirty flight at us.
00:49And small.
00:51The cereal has gone soggy.
00:53I'll also have to take on other people's problems.
00:56What is wrong with Peter?
00:57He used to make a sound.
00:59And now he doesn't.
01:00By which I mean the locals at my pub are always bringing me stuff to mend.
01:05Is it a train set?
01:07So join us and our excitable crew.
01:13Who will capture our endeavours.
01:15That was epic.
01:17As we create.
01:19Make.
01:20That feels like a terrible thing you've just done.
01:22Repair.
01:23So it's never worked.
01:24Not in my lifetime.
01:25And repurpose.
01:27In my shed load of ideas.
01:33What do you think?
01:34This is just brilliant.
01:36The Wiltshire countryside can be wonderfully peaceful.
01:50But like the rest of the UK, it can also sometimes be very noisy.
01:55A noise complaint is made every 70 seconds in the UK.
01:59And even here, we're not immune to annoying noises from our neighbours.
02:05I don't know.
02:06It sounds like a ripe barney.
02:08Tim, let's go somewhere else.
02:10It's a domestic.
02:12Oh my God.
02:13Drilling.
02:14Nobody ever says, why don't we soundproof Britain?
02:24In fact, you don't even need to soundproof the whole house, do you?
02:27You just need a, just like a small room.
02:30If you want to play the trumpet or have an argument, you go into the room that's soundproof
02:35and then it doesn't bother your neighbours.
02:37Actually, that's not a bad idea, is it?
02:41Could we make a soundproof box?
02:46The World Health Organization says noise pollution is a major concern, so this is a serious problem.
02:53Let's see if we can help neighbourly relations everywhere by making a soundproof box or room
02:59that will keep annoying noises contained within it.
03:03First things first, Tony the tool is going to help me investigate the best sound absorbing materials.
03:10Okay, is everyone happy?
03:12Action!
03:13Right, Tony has made a very simple rig in order to test the sound absorbing qualities of various items that you would find around a typical household.
03:22This is a box.
03:23In the top of the box goes the decibel-o-meter through that convenient little hole.
03:28In the middle is a shelf on which we put our materials and in the bottom there is a Bluetooth speaker which will play a sound from this phone.
03:38Obviously some sound will be transmitted through the box, we realise that, but what we're looking for is the difference between these materials.
03:46This will give us some idea of how we can make our soundproof box.
03:50There's a door and it is sealed with a clamp.
03:55All we need now is a suitable sound, so I thought if you could give a blood-curdling murderous scream, Tony, we could use that.
04:03Are you ready?
04:04Yep.
04:05That was excellent.
04:12Right, so to begin with, so if we turn on the decibel-o-meter and put his little Sly and the Family Stone head on.
04:22Right, that's holding max.
04:24So the maximum reading will remain frozen on the screen.
04:28So let's try it first with nothing.
04:33So we shut Tony's carefully engineered box with this beautiful piano hinge that you see typically on Chippendale furniture.
04:42There is the door shut.
04:44OK, so this is controlled.
04:45Quiet, please.
04:46107.7 is the reading on the decibel-o-meter with nothing in the box.
05:00Now, remember that decibels are a logarithmic scale,
05:03which means an increase of three is double the noise as far as your ear is concerned.
05:08Let's begin with...
05:11Well, let's go through what we've got.
05:12We have a typical pillow, some furniture-moving blankets, some egg boxes, a breakfast cereal.
05:19We're not allowed to say which one it is, it's very popular.
05:21It's also very snappular and crackular.
05:25And builder's sand.
05:28Which would you like to go with first?
05:30Should we go with...let's go with egg boxes.
05:32Well, normally they're half of them, don't they, and have that bit sticking out.
05:35Do they?
05:36I think, yeah.
05:37Well, let's do that.
05:38People do stick egg boxes up in things like their home recording studios and home cinemas, don't they?
05:51Quiet, everybody, please.
05:59101.5.
06:02Interesting.
06:04Next, we try a pillow.
06:08102 dead.
06:11Then a furniture blanket.
06:1488.2.
06:16Excellent performance from the blanket.
06:18The popular breakfast cereal which we happen to have in the kitchen was my idea because I...I don't know, I feel they will move about and absorb sound.
06:28They will also deform very slightly and they are full of air.
06:32It's not particularly...tremendous reasoning but, mate, this is an experiment.
06:39Remember.
06:45Very disappointing from the breakfast cereal.
06:48Hang on, that's higher than the control.
06:51That doesn't make sense, does it?
06:52No.
06:54It is noisy cereal though.
06:55It is.
06:56It's amplified the noise.
06:58It's 108.6.
07:03And finally, we try builder's sand.
07:10Oh, no.
07:11That is disappointing.
07:13101.2.
07:15It's better than the egg boxes though.
07:17Very slightly better than the egg box.
07:20So, the conclusion is that our soundproof room within a room should be insulated with...
07:30Blankets.
07:32Blankets.
07:3488.2.
07:35Right.
07:36Onwards.
07:38So, after buying a shed load of blankets and picking up Simmy, we three return to the workshop to begin making our soundproof room in a room,
07:47which will be a supersized version of Tony's soundproof box.
07:52Say when.
07:54First, we demonstrate the result of our noise research.
07:58Here's one more.
07:59Brace yourself.
08:01Which looks like workplace bullying.
08:03The key to do that for Henry King with two little bits of strength.
08:07Well, it's definitely getting quieter.
08:09Maybe a little scream?
08:11Right, okay.
08:13What we decided, viewers, was that the best sound deadening material of those things that you might have around the house is the removal blanket.
08:25Now, here we have a pile of 150 of them.
08:28But it's going to be a frame.
08:30And then we're going to make blanket walls.
08:33And the blanket walls will also be filled with blankets.
08:37Right.
08:38Let's just saw some wood up.
08:40Yes, let's do that.
08:47If this works, people could take our prototype concept.
08:51What you're seeing here, viewers, is the basic element of mass production.
08:56And turn a room in their own house into a soundproof room.
09:00Nicely done.
09:04We're constructing a very simple wooden cube.
09:10But crucially, we're leaving a small cavity between the inside and outside walls.
09:17There can't be any physical connection, or as little as possible, between the inner wall and the outer wall.
09:21Because the dense wood would transfer the sound.
09:24So you've got to avoid that.
09:25You've got to keep the gap all the way around.
09:29And then we can fill it up with the sound deadening material, which in this case is blankets.
09:37If you hadn't worked it out already, viewers, you can probably now see what this is going to look like.
09:42There it is.
09:54Okay, so now we're going to curtain the inside.
09:57Hold it there, James.
09:58I'm holding it.
09:59Hold it there.
10:00There are people in the world who like to claim that men can't wrap things up, and we're proving them wrong.
10:11Look at this.
10:13Do we want the door towards one side or in the middle?
10:16Like, why do we need the door?
10:18Otherwise you can't get in.
10:23I'm going from the top.
10:25Why don't we stand on a step ladder and put a screw in from the top?
10:27Yeah.
10:28Good idea.
10:36Rather than cutting these, because they're a bit of a pain, there might be a way of folding them into each other, so...
10:43Yes.
10:44Or is it a bit like folding a piece of paper seven times?
10:47It might well be.
10:49Shall we try a sausage?
10:50Shall I try a sausage?
10:51Try a sausage.
10:52Just in case.
10:54It's like that thing, isn't it?
10:55You can only fold a piece of paper so many times before it becomes impossible to fold.
11:00Did you just say that?
11:01I did.
11:02Yeah.
11:03Seven times, I think.
11:04Well, I said it before, but I was in there.
11:05I couldn't hear you.
11:06Yeah.
11:07Ah.
11:08Honest!
11:13Tony, just put your head behind there and say something.
11:16I say that's working a bit.
11:21I didn't hear a thing.
11:24Is there a case for simply making a load of curtains?
11:29And just hanging them?
11:30Yeah.
11:32That would be a lot easier, wouldn't it?
11:35We had seven blankets over your head earlier and we could still hear you.
11:39Even though it was muffled, so we need at least seven layers.
11:43So we're halfway there with one blanket?
11:45Yeah.
11:46OK, so that's not as drastic.
11:48I'm all for, you know, speeding things up.
11:51I think we should do a big wall.
11:53Yeah, I think you're right.
11:55So these are whole blankets now.
11:58I think we should fold it and put it in these widths along the wall.
12:05Oh, like that?
12:06Yeah.
12:09Oh, that's quite nice.
12:10It is quite nice.
12:11Why are you always surprised?
12:14You know why, Tony.
12:18We'll leave Tony to finish his brilliant blanket layering solution and who knows?
12:23Perhaps we'll never hear from him again.
12:25Back in Wiltshire, you join Simi and me enjoying a little time out in my pub.
12:42But we're not totally off-duty.
12:44The locals know I can easily be persuaded to open up my toolbox and take a look at their broken stuff.
12:51Today, pub regular Piers has something he'd like us to try to repair.
12:56Hi, nice to meet you.
12:57This is Simi.
12:58Hi, nice to meet you.
13:00It's a toaster.
13:01It is.
13:02I was told that this was something of great sentimental value.
13:05Well, it gets used every day, but it doesn't function properly.
13:09So the timer, which is about there, jams occasionally.
13:13I have virtually the same toaster, as it happens.
13:16It burns toast.
13:18And then I'd get a telling off from my wife.
13:21Does your wife currently hate you because of the toaster?
13:23Not every day.
13:25Right.
13:26Shall we plug it in and have a look at...
13:28I think there's a socket down there.
13:30I've got some bread in my toolbox.
13:33Look at that.
13:37And I would give that sort of two and a half minutes.
13:39Light is on.
13:41Heat is rising off the toaster into my face.
13:46And it smells of bread.
13:48I think it works fine, Piers.
13:50You've wasted our time.
13:52If only that were true.
13:56It's sticking.
13:57Oh, it is, yes.
14:01Have you ever taken it apart?
14:02I think it's had some WD-40 in there.
14:05Oh!
14:06Toaster!
14:08I'm not a technical person and we've managed.
14:11Life is a compromise.
14:13Toast is the staff of life, so it's quite important.
14:16See, we've still got another 30 seconds to go.
14:18That's going to be burnt.
14:20Yeah, but the point is you can then turn the elements off
14:22and remove your toast when you need it.
14:25But that requires you being present the entire time.
14:27If you just walk away from it and say it's going to stop in two minutes.
14:32Ah, because the timer sticks.
14:33Because the timer sticks, you end up with white smoke.
14:37The toaster, as a toaster, works perfectly.
14:40The problem is with the timer.
14:42And this is what is destroying domestic bliss for you.
14:45So we will take the toaster away.
14:46We won't touch any of that because it's fine.
14:48We will extract the clockwork timer, check it for wear,
14:52burrs in the escapement, that sort of thing.
14:54Give it a good clean, reassemble it,
14:56and can I commend you for bringing it in
14:58and not simply throwing it away and buying another toaster?
15:00Absolutely.
15:02It means that my wife isn't going to give me grief about half-burned toast.
15:06It will be fantastic. Thank you.
15:10The world thanks you.
15:12Your wife, however, hates you.
15:14Now I've promised to fix Piers' toaster and with it his marriage too,
15:18I'd better get on with it.
15:19Yeah.
15:21So Simi and I head straight for the workshop.
15:24And at the time it takes to make a piece of toast, we're there.
15:31Ooh, look.
15:33I have a toaster very similar to this,
15:35and I seem to remember that you go in through the bottom.
15:39Then behind there, there is the timer mechanism.
15:49That's very intricate, isn't it?
15:53It is.
15:55There's a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of cack,
15:58and that's just enough to make the teeth stick.
16:00If we could make something that acts on the end of that spindle,
16:06it will push it ever so gently in the direction
16:09of the less worn part of the escapement.
16:13That something is going to be a tiny strip of phosphor bronze
16:18that we'll attach with a teeny, tiny screw.
16:21Some people enjoy high-octane action movies
16:25with car chases, fist fights and guns.
16:28Bad news, if that's you,
16:30because the next bit involves two blokes
16:32trying to solve a problem on an almost microscopic scale.
16:36We're talking about maybe, you know, less than a hundredth of a millimetre.
16:45But there will be tension.
16:47Is that actually cutting?
16:48No, it wasn't.
16:51Fascinating observations.
16:53Oh, it's going.
16:55Highs.
16:56Oh, look at that. It's gone in.
16:58And the odd low.
17:00It's stopped.
17:03But after several nail-biting hours...
17:07Oh, we are so good.
17:09Right.
17:10We are so good.
17:12To the relief of the crew,
17:14we're ready to try our ingenious solution.
17:16So what we have done is we have successfully opened up and then tapped that tiny little hole there.
17:25And now we have drilled a clearance hole in the end of this strip of phosphor bronze that the screw will just pass through cleanly.
17:33And now I'm going to hold that without losing it.
17:34This is turning me into a nervous wreck.
17:37Snip that off.
17:39Tidy up the end.
17:41And then screw it into position and it will do its job.
17:44If the tense music hasn't already started, now might be a good time.
17:51Oh, my God, it's so small.
17:55Is it going in?
17:59Yeah?
18:00Yeah, it's like it.
18:04Let me just check that. Is it actually acting on it?
18:08That's what we've achieved.
18:11It doesn't look like much, but it's destroyed us.
18:14Well, let's test it.
18:16I almost don't want to now.
18:18If it, for whatever reason, it doesn't do a full thing, I will cry.
18:24I'm going to wind it all the way.
18:26Here we go, everybody.
18:28Very well done toast.
18:40We have achieved.
18:42We've achieved greatness.
18:45We've actually done it.
18:47And we can't even see it.
18:50It works.
18:52Yay!
18:57That's one of the greatest triumphs of my life.
19:00And we've been at it for four hours.
19:02But it was worth it.
19:04What else would we have done with those four hours?
19:06Right, we're going to now reassemble all this.
19:08You don't particularly need to see that.
19:10Next time you see this toaster, it will be in the pub with Piers,
19:14and he will be astonished.
19:17It's stopped.
19:19It's got to the end.
19:21It went all the way to the end.
19:22Now Piers' toaster is no longer toast, it's time for me to head back to the pub,
19:34where once again I'm thinking of ways to help pubs all over the UK get more punters in.
19:40And I've identified a potential twist on a well-known game
19:44that involves combining two of my favourite things.
19:48Hello, you join me apparently about to tuck into a delicious cheese board.
19:54But actually, no.
19:56I'm here to address an age-old problem,
19:58one that has blighted society for many generations,
20:01namely cheese and biscuits.
20:03The usual problem, the cheese runs out, the biscuits haven't.
20:06You have some more cheese, then the biscuits run out,
20:09and then the cheese hasn't run out, so you have some more biscuits and so on,
20:11and it never ends.
20:12We wondered if one way round this problem was to gamify cheese and biscuits.
20:17I wondered if we could have a game of cheese, chess.
20:23Because, let's face it, both come on a board.
20:28The word chess is very similar to the word cheese.
20:32If you take the first S of chess and turn it into an E and add another E on the end,
20:37you have the same word.
20:39And that can't be a coincidence, can it?
20:41I thought, using this convenient rubber mould, we could use some of these cheeses to make chess pieces,
20:49mount them on coloured crackers.
20:52We have black ones and white ones.
20:54They're actually grey and beige, but, I mean, the difference is apparent.
20:57And then you play chess, four pieces of cheese.
21:02And we've selected the cheeses very carefully.
21:05We have, for example, king of the castle.
21:08So that can be the king.
21:10Stinking bishop, I guess that's going to be the bishop.
21:12This cheese is an Italian one called Caccio cavallo.
21:17So that cavallo means horse.
21:19So that can be the knight.
21:21Castle blue, that can be the rook.
21:24This cheese is actually Norwegian, and it is often marketed under the name Ski Queen.
21:30And this is good old fashioned mouse trap cheddar, which can be our prawns,
21:35in case anybody thinks that we're getting a bit pretentious with the cheeses.
21:39Now these moulds, I believe, will allow me to fashion cheese into chess pieces.
21:44I'm then going to invite Tony and Sim to have a match.
21:49And the winner, I mean, you eat a piece if you take it,
21:53but the winner at the end eats all the remaining cheese.
21:58Now we just need to mould our cheese into chess.
22:02I think I might hand this job over to a researcher on minimum wage.
22:06Ethan?
22:08Hello.
22:09How do you fancy making some chess pieces out of cheese?
22:12I would love to.
22:14It's a great chat up line after all.
22:24Of course, if this should ever catch on, the staff would be quite annoyed
22:29because it's quite a laborious process, but maybe it will be a special.
22:32You know, cheese chess, cheese chess board will have to cost something like 250 pounds.
22:38Oh, eating cheese.
22:40Oh, please nobody tell, Ethan, but just now, when I was just picking at the cheese,
22:45I accidentally ate a bishop.
22:46I don't think he noticed.
22:47I don't think he noticed.
22:54Oh, I said that.
22:56Why did I, why was I so cocky about that?
22:59I'll start again.
23:00Oh, that's very runny and sticky.
23:06That's not going to work.
23:09Look at that.
23:10That's just absolute rubbish.
23:13Yes, that is the beginnings of a cheese chess set.
23:22It's pretty good, isn't it?
23:24You saw it here first.
23:26And once we've filled the other moulds and left them to set,
23:29we may actually be able to have a game, if I haven't eaten it.
23:33You join us back in Wiltshire, where I am solving problems big and small,
23:45as well as thinking of ways to help Britain's wonderful but dwindling pubs,
23:49not mine by the way, bring in more customers.
23:52And I've invited Tony and Simi over to showcase my latest idea.
23:56Action.
23:57Several hours have now passed and Ethan and I, by which I mean Ethan,
24:02has produced what we believe is the world's first cheese chess set.
24:08And here it is.
24:11Very good.
24:12Can you recognise all the pieces except, I know, you're going to say the bishop.
24:16Yes.
24:17The bishop is made out of stinking bishop which cannot be moulded into the shape of a bishop.
24:21So it appears in this version of chess as a blob.
24:24That's fine.
24:25But as long as you remember.
24:26Blob.
24:27Bishop.
24:28B.
24:29Blob.
24:30B.
24:31Bishop.
24:32Tasty.
24:33The rules of the game are the same as the rules of chess.
24:37The difference is that if you take a piece, you can eat it.
24:41This is ultimately a cheese board disguised as a game of chess.
24:47So, without further ado, let the tournament begin.
24:50Go!
24:51Ooh.
24:54What's he done there?
24:55I've just realised a flaw in this segment.
24:57Surely there's no flaw.
24:59Cheese or not, we're now watching a game of chess.
25:02I don't want you to move it.
25:03No, if I touched it, I'll move it.
25:04That's the rules.
25:05The bishop's arranged.
25:06I'm starving.
25:07I want to eat it.
25:08Yay!
25:09I don't care.
25:10I really wanted to try a bit of bish art.
25:11Mmm.
25:12Well, we got to eating quite quick.
25:13Okay, so you've both eaten a bishop.
25:14Nice.
25:15How did the bishop taste?
25:16Lush.
25:17Lush.
25:18Your go, Tony.
25:19You've got to keep the speed up, according to the producers, because apparently this is
25:20quite dull.
25:21Okay.
25:22I think I'll take it.
25:23Oh, how are we?
25:24I think I'll take it.
25:25Oh, how are we?
25:26I think I'll take this piece here.
25:27James, you may as well try that piece, because that is a delicious piece of cheese.
25:32Italian.
25:33This is Italian.
25:34This is the Italian Cavallo cheese.
25:35I didn't try this during the manufacture of the pieces, see?
25:37Mmm.
25:38Yum.
25:39That's pretty good, isn't it?
25:40I've spotted another piece of cheese.
25:41I've got to keep the speed up according to the producers, because apparently this is
25:42quite dull.
25:43Okay.
25:44I think I'll take it.
25:45Oh, how are we?
25:46I think I'll take this piece here.
25:47James, you may as well try that piece.
25:49It's a delicious piece of cheese.
25:50This is the Italian Cavallo cheese.
25:51I didn't try this during the manufacture of the pieces, see?
25:55Mmm.
25:56Yum.
25:57That's pretty good, isn't it?
26:00I've spotted another flaw in the game of cheese chess.
26:05Before long, eating cheese takes over.
26:08Do we like cheese chess?
26:09Love cheese chess.
26:10Love cheese chess.
26:11It stops chess being boring, because you become obsessed with the cheese rather than chess.
26:15Cheese is the best bit.
26:16You have to get better at chess if you want the cheese.
26:19Exactly.
26:20This makes you earn your cheese.
26:22Earn your cheese.
26:24That's fine.
26:25No, I'm afraid that, sir, is an illegal move and you have eaten a piece of cheese incorrectly.
26:33You've played your king into check and eaten the piece that you erroneously took.
26:38Hang on.
26:39I call that decoration.
26:40Oh!
26:41Yes, there you go.
26:42I didn't realise I was just going full of cheese.
26:44Simeon Oakley, the field of cheese is yours.
26:47Fantastic.
26:48James, would you like to share some cheese?
26:51I would love a piece of cheese.
26:52What would you like?
26:53I'd like a king.
26:54You would like a king?
26:55I'd like a vanquished king.
26:56Would you like Tony's king?
26:57I'd love Tony's king.
26:58I would like my king, because I quite like the cheers.
27:01Cheers.
27:02What about me?
27:03Well, you've lost.
27:04What about gentlemanly conduct?
27:05No.
27:06I gave it all.
27:07That's not a gentleman's game.
27:16That's poor porn, Tony.
27:19The lust for cheese overcame any thought of strategy or tactics or even cunning.
27:26All the things that you associate with a really intellectual game like chess.
27:31It's just cheese, cheese, give me some cheese.
27:34And it's great, isn't it?
27:36What do you think?
27:37Fantastic.
27:38Cheese chess.
27:45And before we crack open another packet of stinking bishop and lose all sense of reason
27:49to cheese, we should get back to our soundproof room.
27:54Now fully smothered in blankets and ready to silence those noisy neighbours.
27:59Let's see if it's as good as it sounds.
28:03Hello.
28:04I'm James May from Bad Jacket and Volvo Estate Agents.
28:06And I'm here to show you around this character property that has become available in the
28:10southwest of England.
28:12It is, as you can see, clad in furniture blankets.
28:15It's also insulated with furniture blankets and it's lined with furniture blankets.
28:20The roof is made of furniture blankets and the floor inside is beautifully finished in furniture
28:26blankets.
28:27Not this floor.
28:28The floor inside there, you fool.
28:29We're going to test it with some well-known noises outside and inside to see if it makes
28:34any difference.
28:35The noises are an argument between Tony and Simi about whether or not Simi qualifies as a builder
28:42because he built an extension on his house himself.
28:45Trumpet practice.
28:48And a noisy power tool.
28:54On the stick, right there, is the decibel meter.
28:58So here we go.
29:00We're going to have half a minute of arguing.
29:03In three, two, one...
29:07I don't think it was an argument.
29:09It was more of a discussion.
29:10Yeah.
29:11You said I didn't build a house when I did build a house.
29:13You didn't build a house.
29:14You built an extension on a house.
29:16No.
29:17You didn't build a house.
29:18You didn't build a house!
29:19I built a house!
29:20You added it onto the house!
29:21I built a house!
29:22Half a house.
29:23It's not a house.
29:24It's not a house.
29:25I win!
29:26It's almost, almost a whole house.
29:28So you're almost a whole house.
29:29And time.
29:30Thank you very much.
29:31So, Lucy, argument outside is 87.6.
29:37Now, if you wouldn't mind going inside the sweaty, fetid tent of...
29:42And I will close the door.
29:44You went through the wrong way then, Simi.
29:47Here is the multi-layered curtain door.
29:51Can you hear me?
29:53Sorry?
29:56Go.
29:57OK, so, alright, I kind of get what you're saying, but...
30:00Ah!
30:01There you go.
30:02But I did build quite a lot of a house.
30:05OK.
30:06We're getting to where now?
30:12To almost a house.
30:14To half a house and half a roof.
30:15Half a half.
30:16It's an intensive or not.
30:17It's not.
30:18No.
30:19It's what I did.
30:20We didn't build a house.
30:21And now it's just going to get Charles fucking...
30:22Enough.
30:23Enough.
30:24You can come out.
30:26Lucy, the volume outside of the rare room was...
30:3187.6.
30:32And inside the rare room, gentlemen, you peaked at 36.
30:3636!
30:37That's quite a difference.
30:39That's massive.
30:40Let's try trumpet practice.
30:43And I've just remembered something.
30:45Yeah.
30:46It is crucial to all of this.
30:47OK.
30:48Is that I can't play the trumpet.
30:49Oh, brilliant.
30:50And in fact, I've never tried.
30:51It's all about embouchure, isn't it?
30:53The trumpet.
30:54It's plenty difficult playing the trumpet.
31:14What was the reading?
31:1790.3.
31:18Oh, that's quite loud.
31:19It's quite loud.
31:20I'm going in.
31:21I'm sorry, I've lost my strength.
31:4172.2.
31:43Oh, what was it before?
31:45I think it was...
31:4692.3.
31:47And now it's 72.2.
31:50That's not a bad result, is it?
31:52That's...
31:53That's right.
31:54That's only about a quarter of the noise that it was.
31:56But let's see what happens with the power tool.
31:58The most annoying power tool we have is the saw.
32:01Are we ready?
32:0284.8 for power tool external.
32:15OK, Tony, into the medieval tent of heat and horrors.
32:21WHISTLE BLOWS
32:28Finger off trigger.
32:29You can come out now.
32:31I was worried you were going to put your hand through and do that and then come out with no fun.
32:36So, um...
32:38Keep the light for me, eh?
32:4055.8 plays against...
32:4484.8.
32:46That was noticeably quieter.
32:47It was...
32:48It was noticeably quieter.
32:49I think this is quite remarkable because the greatest effect was in fact on your row.
32:55Hmm.
32:56That was the biggest difference in volume between outside and inside and that's primarily what it's for.
33:01More people have arguments than are learning to play the trumpet.
33:03But similarly, if you have one of these in your house and somebody starts playing the trumpet or having a round, you can go in there and be at peace.
33:12Insulation works in both directions.
33:14When I go in here, I can't hear what you lot are talking about.
33:18You insult me and I won't be able to hear it.
33:22Oh, thank God he's gone.
33:24God, he's just rubbish.
33:26Awful.
33:27Overrated has been.
33:29That's weird, I could hear all of that.
33:36It was just...
33:37That's fantastic.
33:40It is good.
33:41Isn't it?
33:42It's really good.
33:43You can make this at home easily.
33:44You just need some wood, two mates, some power tools, a big open space, lots and lots of screws, a staple gun, 150 blankets, some fairy lights, a lamp and a film crew.
33:56And you could do all this as well.
33:58And it works.
33:59We've done something that works.
34:02Well done, first.
34:04Well done.
34:06For once, I'm happy to blow my own trumpet.
34:11Back in Wiltshire, we're in the workshop, where we spend our days coming up with incredible inventions to solve life's annoying problems.
34:24But sometimes, just sometimes, we like to kick back and relax.
34:29Do you reckon if you were in the dark or blindfolded, and I handed you a selection of tools, but you could only touch the handle?
34:38OK.
34:39And see if you could guess what it is.
34:40We could call it, Can You Handle the Truth About Tools?
34:47Fair enough.
34:48Do you want to play Can You Handle the Truth, Simmy?
34:50Go on then.
34:51OK.
34:52Blindfold on.
34:53Mm-hmm.
34:54It's a marking gauge.
34:57A bit more specific, please.
34:59A bit more specific?
35:00Yeah.
35:01An adjustable marking gauge?
35:03You're a woodworker.
35:05They use power tools most of the time in a CNC machine.
35:10A double adjustable marking gauge.
35:13It's a mortise gauge.
35:14It's right.
35:15No points to Tony.
35:16It's half a point.
35:17It's half a point for getting...
35:19That's a mortise gauge, because you set the distance from the edge of the wood, and then you set the size of your mortise.
35:24Look at that.
35:25There.
35:26But he's got a blindfold on, hasn't he?
35:27Oh, very good.
35:35And that's the handle?
35:36Yeah.
35:37It's not pliers, is it?
35:38It's one of them things you punch holes in leather with.
35:40Oh!
35:41That's pretty good.
35:43Yeah.
35:46Hey, can I keep it if I've guessed it right?
35:48No.
35:49That's a rubbish game, this.
35:51There's no prize.
35:52OK.
35:53Come on.
35:54You ready?
35:58It's very light.
36:00No idea.
36:01What?
36:02What is it?
36:03Well, you can take the blindfold off now, because you've got nil point.
36:07OK, so...
36:08Right, so you've got one and a half out of three.
36:10That's 50%.
36:13That's a C.
36:14Now it's Simi's turn to don the tea towel.
36:23Why is it like that in a million years?
36:26It's the tappet adjusting tool for a Honda CB750.
36:30That's a bit difficult, James.
36:32Yes, it is.
36:33But he's going to do that to me, I know.
36:35Ooh!
36:36Handle only.
36:38Whoa!
36:42I'm going to say that's plastic, and it's for doing something up, but I don't know what it is, and I don't know what it's called.
36:48That's a zero, then?
36:49Yeah.
36:50In my box.
36:51It's the tappet adjusting tool for a Honda CB750.
36:52Of course it is.
36:53And it was for adjusting something.
36:54Well, actually, yeah, you can have half a point.
36:55I know!
36:56Come on!
36:57Yeah, you can have half a point.
36:58Ooh!
36:59Good choice, sir.
37:00Hand out.
37:01Handle only.
37:02That is a bevel of some sort.
37:03Yes.
37:04Oh.
37:05Ah!
37:06Oh, that's...
37:07Oh, that's...
37:08Oh, that was...
37:09Yeah, you can have half a point.
37:10Ooh!
37:11Good choice, sir.
37:13Hand out.
37:14Handle only.
37:15That is...
37:16...a bevel of some sort.
37:18Sliding?
37:19Yes.
37:22Ooh!
37:23You can only hold the handle.
37:24Ooh, that's heavy.
37:25all right that is some kind of driver drill thing it's a drill it's a drill yes very good
37:35I've got two and a half to beat that's quite tricky blindfold on blindfold is on
37:42that's a wooden handle with some rivets in it
37:48is it a marking out knife perfect is it oh yes that's oh I know exactly what that is that's
37:59a spoke shape okay so the confession with this one James I've got no clue what it is I know
38:06exactly what it is yeah am I right in saying it's right angled yeah is it
38:18cabinet scraper I think that's a veneer hammer oh is that what it is yeah I think you're right
38:26yeah nil poire that means Simi's one yeah join us next week for another thrilling episode of
38:35can you handle the truth and now we must down tools and head over to the pub as Piers is
38:47on his way back to find out if we've managed to fix his broken toaster and along with it
38:52perhaps restore some marital harmony to his home so this is Piers's toaster which we have mended it's
39:01quite difficult I mean there was an easy way of mending it which was just by a new one of those
39:06but we didn't want to do that because we're not defeatist and it works and this will transform his
39:11life because so far he hasn't been able to walk away from the toaster and leave it unattended let's
39:17bring him in where is he Piers is here James hi look at that well all you can see so far is it
39:28shiny yes that doesn't mean it works just before we go into this I just want to say it is okay to
39:36become emotional don't bottle anything up your life was fundamentally ruined because you could not
39:44leave a toaster that is designed to be left unattended unattended absolutely that's basically
39:50the problem wasn't it the good news is that after well it was over four hours of painstaking work
39:58because we didn't want to replace any of the original parts we could easily have just bought
40:01a new timer there something like 25 quid but we discovered having examined it very carefully that
40:08the timer works on a simple escapement mechanism which has two pallets which work against a reciprocating
40:13gear wheel which was slightly worn out and there's a little bit of enfloat in the shaft associated with
40:18it and if we push that with our fingernail then moved it up by about a quarter of a millimetre the
40:22thing ran perfectly so we made a phosphor bronze leaf spring from a bit of scrap I had in my toolbox
40:29re-tapped an existing hole in the mechanism to take an m1.5 screw and adjusted the tension so that
40:35the shaft was pushed up by a quarter of a millimetre and now it works James fantastic I think my toast will
40:40never taste the same again would you like a piece of toast you must have a bit with you we didn't well we
40:47have some bread there's some bread here is some locally sourced British butter there is a napkin
40:54and here is some red jam we're about to make a very exciting bit of television where a timer counts
41:00down okay have you put it on the two toast setting um I always leave it well you mustn't do that you
41:09must have the two toast setting on but not the bun slot otherwise you'll overheat the elements and burn
41:13them out and then you'll be bringing it back to us to mend again okay and we go for two and a tiny bit
41:19so now basically I could just walk away make a cup of coffee do whatever try it try walking away I
41:28don't need to I trust you but you've been traumatized by this you feel you can't just just walk to the
41:35other side of the pub ready we won't touch away there we go you have to go into the other room where
41:39you can't see it this is the first time in years that Piers has been able to walk away from his toaster
41:47while it's toasting Piers you can come back in you haven't touched it no wrong one we haven't given
41:55it a nudge you can have made your coffee by now that would have been absolutely and it smells like
41:59there's nothing wrong with this bit the elements are all working beautiful fine these things are
42:04infinitely repairable as we've proved and you enjoy doing it did you do so yes now to see whether the
42:15timer will do its job and stop the toast at toasting oh see how we go it's got to the end well oh perfect
42:23look at that you tuck in so I'm pleased to see you cut rectangularly yeah it's not trying
42:30it's trying to the people it's untrustworthy right here we go
42:35that's fine it's the stuff of life isn't it yeah no it's brilliant everything is complete are you at
42:46peace I'm a happy man okay well we've made somebody happy and really you can't ask for a
42:53greater privilege in life than that it's like saving a life in a way in fact we sort of have
42:58done haven't we literally great but we'll probably call it a day at that then because it's good to
43:04quit whilst you're ahead absolutely Sim thank you so much James thank you so much no it was
43:10really really absolute pleasure so that's another successful repair job and who knows perhaps also
43:17a marriage restored let's toast to that
43:21so
43:27so
43:32you
43:36you
43:40you
43:41We'll see you next time.
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