- 5 weeks ago
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01:06I dreamt of being on stage, but if the closest I could get was being backstage, I'd take it.
01:24Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my wife's room?
01:29Wait. This isn't my room? Well, I'm as shocked as you are.
01:36Excuse me. Mr. Lewis had asked me to stage manage the latest production of his amateur theater troupe.
01:41It wasn't acting, but it was close.
01:44I can't believe you do this to me, Sheila.
01:46Uh, that was the closet.
01:50Get out of here!
01:55And... go to black.
02:00And cue lights for Bao.
02:06Whoo!
02:10I had the best seat in the house.
02:21Mark, my good man, how was it?
02:22Burton couldn't have done it better, sir.
02:25Almost shagged a gag with the suspenders, though, eh?
02:27Well, he was the biggest laugh of the run.
02:30You're too kind. Grab us a cold one, will ya?
02:32Huh? The old instrument is parched.
02:36Nice.
02:38I had finally found my people.
02:41Adults.
02:44They treated me like an equal.
02:49Dyes were a sandwich.
02:51An equal who was also a butler.
02:53I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
02:56Very good.
02:57My brother, meanwhile, was where he shouldn't be.
03:01Okay, okay, okay.
03:02I'm not gonna get anything done with you here.
03:05I'm supposed to be on the air in 15 minutes.
03:07You want me to leave?
03:09Well, see, I never said that.
03:11I think we're acting a little rash, maybe.
03:16Oh, no.
03:17That's your dad.
03:22Hey, Dick.
03:24What are you doing back?
03:25Back to my keys again.
03:27There you are.
03:31Lucky rabbit's foot, what?
03:33Your mother gave me that from what her dad shot.
03:37Got a date tonight.
03:38Needs all the luck I can get.
03:39Later.
03:44By the way,
03:46she don't got no order of these laying around, do she?
03:50Nope.
03:52Misses, I'm dating fancies one.
03:53If you see, Zeddy, I'll keep an eye out.
03:56Thanks.
03:56You're so moing, man.
04:08Oh, he's gonna need that keychain your mom got him.
04:12But you,
04:13on the other hand...
04:14Can we maybe not talk about Dick and my mother at this exact moment?
04:20Right.
04:21Sorry.
04:22Where were we?
04:23Where's Mark?
04:36That friggin' play should be over by now.
04:40Relax, Mary.
04:41You'll be home soon.
04:42My folks were expert worriers.
04:44Mom was kidnapping and dad with electrical fires.
04:47If that child isn't in his bed in 15 minutes, I'm calling the police.
04:51Hey!
04:58What do you do that for?
05:00It's time for bed.
05:01You could have scratched my record.
05:03You know, I'm part of a club now.
05:05Twelve new records for a penny.
05:09Sounds so good to be true.
05:10All right.
05:11It's not a scam.
05:13They make their money based on volume.
05:16Cancel any time.
05:17It's all in the fine print.
05:19And now that I've got the records I need, I'm gonna cancel.
05:24You're gonna end up on the hook for a lot more.
05:27You think I'm stupid?
05:29No.
05:30I used your name to sign up.
05:34What?
05:35Night.
05:38Out of the spotlight and into the daylight,
05:41the next day brought the hangover of reality.
05:43Well, that's all the props.
05:45Oh, that wasn't broken when we took it.
05:47Borrowed it.
05:48I'm sure that's fine.
05:49It has character now.
05:50Listen, having everyone over for a little end of run-do,
05:54you should come.
05:55It's tonight at my place, Abraham Street.
05:58Anytime after seven.
05:59I'd love to.
06:00And it's a potluck.
06:02Okay?
06:02I thought I'd be well into my 20s
06:04before I got an invitation to a potluck.
06:06How adult.
06:07Hey, just bring back your toys.
06:09Uh, props?
06:10Mr. Lewis was awesome.
06:12I really wish he could have come.
06:13Who wants to watch a play when you can see a movie?
06:16Oh, don't forget, I'm off tonight.
06:18First time in forever.
06:19And it's pay week, so we're gonna go see Tremors.
06:22I've been dying to see it.
06:23Double booked.
06:24Uh, that.
06:26I, I don't know.
06:28Don't be such a baby.
06:30It's not that scary.
06:31I'll let you hold my hands for the scary parts.
06:33Oh, I was scared, all right.
06:35What if I told you that I was invited to something even better tonight?
06:39There's no way it's better than killer sandworms.
06:42Not even a house party?
06:43Ugh.
06:44Rank beer, bad music, and jocks lighting their farts on fire?
06:47No thanks.
06:48It's just kind of like a one-night-only thing.
06:53The movie will be there next week, please.
07:00All right.
07:01Yeah, fine.
07:03I mean, at least we're still hanging out together.
07:06Great.
07:06Going to a work party as a couple?
07:09What could be more grown-up than that?
07:10You're going to the kitchen.
07:12Oh, no.
07:20What?
07:21Jesus.
07:25What's all the record?
07:27They mailed me a new record, Glenn Miller, but there's something off.
07:31It's a remix, Pop.
07:33They take an old song and put a dance beat on it.
07:35I'm sacrilege, if you ask me.
07:37Well, at least it's cheap.
07:39Twelve hot records.
07:40For one cool penny.
07:43The first twelve are cheap.
07:45You didn't cancel in time.
07:46You owe them $12.13.
07:48See, that's how they get you.
07:49Jesus, it's a scam.
07:51Where are you going with my fondue set?
07:54You better bring all those skewers back.
07:56It's just a party.
07:57Some folks from the play.
07:58Hold on.
07:59Is this the old folks?
08:01They're not that old, man.
08:02They're as old as I am.
08:04So they're young.
08:05It's not normal.
08:07Come on.
08:07What are the foxes going, too?
08:09I hope you like it.
08:12Because you're paying for it.
08:13Actually, I love it.
08:18Would you turn that racket down?
08:24Come on.
08:25I need you.
08:26You should have told me the dress code was nerd.
08:42We make a striking couple.
08:45What?
08:49You ready?
08:49What was that?
08:51I don't know.
08:53Oh, Mark.
08:54Perfect timing.
08:54Tell me what's on me, godforsaken animal, Jet.
08:57Uh, hmm.
08:58Uh, canine problem solver?
09:01What?
09:02Come on, man.
09:03Giddy up.
09:03Tell me they're torturing me in there.
09:05What is it?
09:05It's, it's the littlest hobo.
09:10What?
09:10You're supposed to guess.
09:11The littlest hobo.
09:12Come in.
09:13Come in.
09:13Okay.
09:14Mark, why are we going into a teacher's house?
09:16What?
09:17Come on.
09:17What?
09:23Come in.
09:24Gang, this is the old ball and chain.
09:27Jennifer, meet the Hibernian players.
09:30Fondue.
09:31Thank you so much.
09:32Thank you so much for having us, Mrs. Lewis.
09:35So did you see the show?
09:36No, no, I work most nights.
09:38Oh, Jennifer's in retail.
09:41Yeah, uh, it's store.
09:43We sell bongs, fake dog poop, mugshap of boobs.
09:46Speaking of mugs, you look like you could use a refill.
09:52Oh, my God.
09:54Hold on to that one, Jennifer.
10:00You're being weird.
10:01I...
10:01Okay.
10:03Great.
10:04Yes.
10:04That's for kids.
10:06I...
10:06Okay, why are you doing this?
10:11Yes.
10:12Okay, uh, I got this.
10:14Okay.
10:14Okay, okay.
10:15Clock.
10:16Clock?
10:17Clock, spin.
10:18Clock, bird.
10:19Bird.
10:20Sweet bird of youth.
10:21Ooh, the birds.
10:22The band of birds.
10:24Crazy.
10:25Crazy birds.
10:26Here you take them.
10:27Okay.
10:29All right, go on in.
10:29You can go play video games with the boys if you want.
10:43Ooh, ooh.
10:44One floor over the cuckoo's nest.
10:46Yes, ma'am.
10:48Okay, my turn.
10:49Ready?
10:4930 seconds.
11:02Yes.
11:03Those who don't know how to pick the toilet break bangers.
11:04I'm like a father to you.
11:23Hey, and I am your father.
11:25Your father is like a brother to me.
11:36It's like insects.
11:40No, Dick.
11:41It's not incest.
11:44You know she's only with you to get back at her old man, right?
11:47You know, she's known me longer than she's known you.
11:53I wanted to tell you about us, but this one was too scared.
11:57But you know what?
11:58Shade the peria.
12:04You're not my wingman no more.
12:06Okay, go further.
12:17Go left.
12:18Keep running past the castle.
12:19Okay, jump now.
12:21Nice.
12:22Yeah, you got it.
12:27Hey, Fox.
12:28Why are you hiding away in here?
12:37It's our date night.
12:38That's what I thought, too.
12:42It's my turn.
12:46I could win an Oscar for acting like an adult,
12:49but I still had no idea how to act my age.
12:58Everything's unplugged.
13:02I'm going to bed.
13:07You okay?
13:10Mark's still out with that old crowd.
13:14He's fine.
13:15He's older than they are.
13:17Still a baby to me.
13:19Want me to plug the lamps back in?
13:24No, it's fine.
13:26All right, good night.
13:28Night.
13:35To be or not to be?
13:41That is the question.
13:43Whether it is nobler in the mind
13:46to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
13:51or to take arms against a sea of troubles
13:54and by opposing in them.
13:56Finally.
13:57She'd come to her senses.
14:00I'm leaving.
14:01Or maybe not.
14:03The night is an Ophiott.
14:04He's our teacher.
14:05You're a kid, Mark.
14:08Not to them I'm not.
14:10Come back, please.
14:12Let's not make a scene.
14:14I thought you loved scenes.
14:15Uh, thanks, Mr. Lewis.
14:21Oh, you're leaving so soon.
14:23Yeah, I got a test.
14:24I got to study for, so.
14:27I'll, uh, I'll see you at school, sir.
14:30Okay.
14:30Uh, uh, sorry, uh, Fox, me, uh, Jennifer reminded me at the time.
14:39You know me.
14:40If I don't get a solid eight hours for not enough coffee in the world.
14:43So, thanks, Mrs. Lewis.
14:45Thank you so much, Kevin.
14:47I mean, hell of a home.
14:49Very good.
14:58Fox!
15:00Wait up!
15:01Please, Fox!
15:05I'm just confused.
15:08I thought you'd get along with them.
15:09Why?
15:12I don't know.
15:13You work.
15:14You look after your brothers.
15:16You're one of the most grown-up people I know.
15:18So, being an adult for you is playing make-believe,
15:21but for me, it's working 25 hours a week
15:23while going to school and taking care of my little brother.
15:27This-this is not what I'm-
15:28Okay, only a kid would say something so stupid.
15:30Mrs. Gritch.
15:55I believe you have my fondue pot.
15:57I would like it back.
15:59My dad.
16:07Sorry for the mess.
16:10Mr. Lewis, I would like to know something.
16:13Mm-hmm.
16:14I want to know why you're spending so much time with Mark.
16:17I don't think I like it.
16:19Oh.
16:20Jeez, I had no idea.
16:23I figured you were okay with it.
16:26He was so dedicated to the play,
16:28I didn't have the heart to leave him out.
16:30He's a hard worker, your son.
16:33And he listens.
16:35Oh, news to me.
16:39Most of the students that I teach,
16:41they think that theater arts is a burnout course,
16:43but Mark is different.
16:45You know, he really cares.
16:46And you've got to know that he's really talented, right?
16:50Oh.
16:51And maybe it's a bit selfish,
16:53but, uh,
16:54it's nice to be a mentor.
16:58When a kid says they want to be an actor,
17:00most adults say no,
17:01and I just want them to be the one who says yes.
17:03You know?
17:06Well, that's awfully nice of you.
17:09There she is, all washed up, ready to go home.
17:12Your lovely pot, three skewers.
17:15Oh.
17:21Yeah.
17:22Hi, uh, could I speak with Jennifer, please?
17:26Nope.
17:28Please?
17:29Oh, but she's here,
17:31but she don't want to talk to you
17:32because you're a dick.
17:35Could you just...
17:36Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
17:38What's the matter?
17:46Wrong number?
17:48Fox is mad at me
17:49because I broke her movie date
17:50to hang out with some older folks.
17:52So I'm mature.
17:53How is this a problem?
17:55Well, it is if you forgot to be a kid.
17:59You know, when you're young,
18:00you're in such a rush to grow up.
18:03But trust me,
18:05there isn't one of those old people
18:07that wouldn't change places with you
18:09for a second.
18:11You know, you've got your whole life
18:12ahead of you to make mistakes.
18:15When you're my age,
18:16you look back
18:17and you think about those mistakes
18:19and, boy, they're the best part.
18:23Huh.
18:24You just stay a kid
18:26as long as you can.
18:31So how do I make it up to Fox?
18:33Just do something nice.
18:37I'm no theatrics.
18:39Just keep it simple, Romeo.
18:45Could I get a loan?
18:51Here.
18:53Fifteen.
18:54Oh, let me ask you.
18:56Do you think I'll like the Beastie Boys?
18:59You can be too young to be old,
19:01but you're never too old to be young.
19:03Sure?
19:04Yeah.
19:10You've been avoiding me
19:12ever since I got here.
19:13And now that I'm messing around with Mike,
19:15all of a sudden he wants to be my dad?
19:18I missed the first 20 years.
19:21I don't want to miss no more.
19:24Well, let's just start from here
19:27and see how it goes.
19:32I know as I don't know you,
19:34but I want to start.
19:36Dinner date is campers once a week.
19:40Okay, let's just take it slow.
19:45I got to admit,
19:46I'm kind of relieved that we're out in the open.
19:48I mean, I felt so bad lying to you about dating.
19:52Dating?
19:54We're just having a bit of fun, Campbell.
19:58Uh-huh.
20:00Yeah.
20:00Yeah.
20:02Casual.
20:04Now, is that like exclusively casual or...?
20:07Let's just take it slow.
20:09Okay?
20:09Okay.
20:09You can do worse.
20:16I'll give you my blessing.
20:19I didn't ask for it.
20:24But...
20:24Thanks.
20:33Mom, you're a wingman now.
20:39Oh, Mom, I'm sorry.
20:41I forgot the, uh...
20:43Mr. Lewis was kind enough to wash it for me.
20:47It's okay, Mark.
20:51I'm so proud of you.
20:53You know, I envy you sometimes.
20:55I wish I had something that brought me
20:57as much happiness as acting brings to you.
21:01But you are still a kid, my ducky.
21:04With responsibilities to your education
21:06beyond theater arts.
21:09I know.
21:10I promise I'll focus more on school.
21:13But...
21:14I know I get carried away,
21:16but Mr. Lewis is just...
21:17A teacher.
21:19I...
21:19I know.
21:22But he's very nice.
21:25Thanks, Mom.
21:29By the way,
21:30I am still missing three skewers.
21:32Life is a series of firsts and lasts.
21:50Trust me.
21:51First date.
22:03Just in time.
22:04First kiss.
22:05Oh, gross girl terms.
22:07Jerk.
22:08Thanks, girl.
22:09Your first love.
22:11Or your last chance.
22:13I wonder how long it'll take you
22:21before you scream.
22:25Man, you're gonna embarrass me, aren't you?
22:28Yeah.
22:28Yeah.
22:28Yeah.
22:30So don't be in a rush to grow up.
22:33Because if we're being honest,
22:35fondue isn't half as good as popcorn.
22:37immer seeming.
22:39I know.
22:42I know.
22:43I know.
22:44Yeah.
22:46Yeah.
22:49Yeah.
22:57Yeah.
23:01Yeah.
23:03Yeah.
23:04Yeah.
23:06We'll be back.
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