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01:34Do you want an early lunch then?
01:36Do you want to cut thick or thin?
01:39I'm on vacation. Let's go with thick.
01:41Look at Lazarus, risen from the dead.
01:45Oh, is that early lunch?
01:48Thick or thin?
01:49Thin. I had a late breakfast.
01:51Good news, everyone. My moose license finally got here.
01:55Moose license? Sure they took away your driver's license.
01:58Yes, well, listen, I'd like to invite you to go shares with me.
02:02Oh, no. I am not taking you moose hunting. I got a life. What did a moose ever do to you?
02:07Oh, hypocrite. How do you think that baloney got on your plate?
02:11I don't think you can get a baloney license, Pop.
02:13Oh, really? No. Don't be so cocky.
02:15Oh.
02:16Geez, Mary, a bit late in the day to be having breakfast, isn't it?
02:19Rabbits? Yeah.
02:20I haven't had a feed of rabbits since I was a girl.
02:23Oh, yes. Well, if he kills it, of course it's fine.
02:27Hey, Mark, you should come check my snares with me sometime.
02:30Yes, you two need to spend more time together.
02:32No offense. I prefer my bunnies in cartoons.
02:35Sweet. Jesus. There's still fur on those things.
02:39Oh, you still remember how to skin them?
02:41Just like you taught me.
02:42Elmer Fudd had nothing on Mom.
02:44I think I'll wait for the sandwich.
02:46You better get used to stuff like this if you plan on hunting a moose.
02:49What? You got your moose license, do you have had?
02:52As a matter of fact, I did.
02:54Yeah.
02:55Area 32.
02:57That's up to Cape Shore. More than an hour and a half away.
03:00Say, you're the big hunter.
03:03Why don't you shoot the moose, and I'll let you keep the arse end on down.
03:08I'll take you, but I needs more than an arse. Half shares.
03:13Why don't we take young Mark with us?
03:15Yeah.
03:16Me?
03:17No, the only thing I hunt for are bargains.
03:20Oh, I don't know about that, Pop.
03:22Come on, Mary. You were just saying we should spend more time together.
03:25Boys trip.
03:26All right. It is a long weekend after all.
03:29Child endangerment laws clearly state.
03:32They're going.
03:33Let me give you a hand with them rabbits.
03:34Yeah.
03:35Oh, thanks, Dad.
03:36May I speak to you in the other room?
03:39Nice.
03:44What the hell was that?
03:45I'm not going into those woods with him alone. He's got a gun. Are you nuts?
03:49You're my insurance policy. Listen, I'm going into the office till he's gone. I've had enough baloney for one day.
03:59I had to become a man so Pop could stay a coward. But did I have what it takes?
04:08That was the Beastie Boys with Hey Ladies on the new Magic 97 digital stereo.
04:14Less talk, more music. I am your magic morning man, Mike Campbell.
04:20And now a word from our sponsors.
04:23Freaking FM radio.
04:25You'll never catch on here if you ask me.
04:27Ah, times change, Dick.
04:29We gotta change along with them. Freaking compact discs.
04:32What's wrong with vinyl?
04:34Lasers instead of needles.
04:36You're liable to burn the fingers right off yourself.
04:38Oh, I'll turn it back up again, will you?
04:40He's about to do the news.
04:41That's one thing that'll never change.
04:43And here's your Magic 97 reality check.
04:47Reality check.
04:49So, get this.
04:50President George Bush is meeting with Prime Minister Brian Mulrooney today in Ottawa to discuss...
04:56What?
04:57Acid rain.
04:58Raining acid?
04:59Wow.
05:00Now that sounds like a party.
05:04This has been your reality check.
05:06Here's today's top hits on the new Magic 97.
05:09The arse is out of her.
05:12Just give me a second, okay?
05:14What's so important? I got work.
05:16Who are we waiting on?
05:17I don't got time for this.
05:18It's been a wrap tonight, bye.
05:19Okay, there he is.
05:20Just give me a second.
05:21Please.
05:22Hi.
05:23Come in.
05:25Just come in.
05:26Here.
05:27I'm so sorry.
05:28My open house went over, but I got an offer.
05:30Oh, great.
05:31Yeah.
05:32What the frig?
05:33Get your lips off me, mother.
05:34Kids.
05:35It's okay.
05:36This is Paul and he's my boyfriend.
05:43Oh.
05:44I gotta get this.
05:45It's the buyers, but don't worry kids.
05:46I'm gonna be right back because I just, I can't wait to get to know you Rugrats a little
05:53bit better.
05:54Okay.
05:55Where's the phone?
05:56Just out in the kitchen there.
05:57It's good.
05:58Yeah.
05:59We already got a dad.
06:00Well, what about me?
06:01I got nobody.
06:02You got us.
06:03He's really nice to me.
06:04He's so good.
06:05And he's successful.
06:06And he's a dick.
06:07Well, can't you be happy for me just once?
06:21How long you figure before we're all shipped off to dads?
06:30I was stuck between them like a United Nations peacekeeper.
06:35So, Pat, when's the last time you shot at something?
06:40Gallipoli?
06:41I don't know.
06:42The only thing Pat killed lately was the mood.
06:45It's just a bit of outdoorsman humor.
06:48You're gonna love this, Mark.
06:50Knock the stink of the house off ya.
06:53Hunting's the best sport there is.
06:55Not much of a sport, is it?
06:58When only one side knows they're playing.
07:02You don't hunt to kill.
07:05You only hunt to live.
07:07Lighten up.
07:09After this weekend, Mark, boy, you're gonna be a man.
07:17I was a sportsman now.
07:19Huzzah!
07:20And so, gentlemen, there I was.
07:23Being chased by a tiger that was being chased by a lion that was being chased by a grizzly bear.
07:29I soon found myself at the edge of a canyon, trapped.
07:32What did you do, dear boy?
07:34I cocked my rifle.
07:37Steadyed myself.
07:39Waited until I saw the whites of the beast's eyes.
07:45And...
07:46Bully!
07:48I shot a shot as true as my word.
07:51It went straight through the tiger, through the lion-hearted lion's lion heart.
07:55Soon found its home in the heart of the grizzly bear.
07:59A hat-trick.
08:03Oh!
08:04Well, a brandy-toaster.
08:05To Mark Critch, the greatest hunter since Hemingway.
08:10Chin chin, dear boy.
08:12MFWFM Ng
08:28Jeez, look at this now!
08:34Would I be the hunter or the hunted?
08:37The jungle sounds were too loud to sleep, not to mention Poppy Bell's snoring.
08:56You up?
08:57Do I have a choice?
08:59Tell me the truth.
09:01Did you ever shoot anything before?
09:03No.
09:04Don't tell Buffalo Bill over there.
09:08Your secret is safe with me.
09:10Why do you want to get a moose license, then?
09:13Kill a moose.
09:15Fill the freezer for a year.
09:17I just...
09:19I just wanted to provide, that's all, to...
09:23To be the man.
09:26I would rather have just gone on a diet.
09:31I'm glad you came, though.
09:34Got to get me moose, boys.
09:39Like to go on something.
09:42If we take that guy with us, the moose will likely kill itself.
09:47I think you have what it takes.
09:50To kill.
09:52And I don't think I do.
09:57Well...
09:58Why do we let Sleeping Beauty over there?
10:02Let him do the dirty work, so we'll never have to find out.
10:06Well, that was not hard to get a whiff, though, way after five or six days.
10:09Shut your bloody cake hole!
10:12What?
10:13What?
10:14Mmm.
10:15Mmm.
10:16Mmm.
10:17Mmm.
10:18Mmm.
10:19The jaws of life were called to the scene of a two-car smash-up early this morning.
10:29A student driver swerved into the outbound lane, sending one person to hospital.
10:34A student driver smacked head-on into another car this morning.
10:44Well, I guess that's what you'd call a crash course.
10:47This has been your Magic 97 reality check.
10:51Sin for me.
10:54Is that funny to you?
10:57Come on, Dad.
10:58It was just an accident.
10:59No one got hurt.
11:00How do you know that?
11:01They got the driver out.
11:02But you didn't report that part.
11:03Yeah, I can't go on and on about it.
11:05I gotta get back to the music.
11:06You know, I've been listening to some of these DJs in the States.
11:09Shock jocks.
11:10They're friggin' hilarious.
11:12Well, they got me shocked.
11:17Well, it's my show, Dad.
11:19Okay?
11:20And I wanna do something new.
11:25Hey, Dick.
11:26Hmm?
11:27Was my news report boring?
11:29I don't know.
11:30Missed it.
11:31Missed it.
11:32I was listening to young Mike.
11:42The IT store.
11:44Edible underwear.
11:45Prank gifts.
11:46Lava lamps.
11:47The edgiest store in the mall.
11:49And the edgiest girl worked there.
11:51I'd like a refund on this fake vomit.
11:54What's wrong with it?
11:55It looks fake.
11:56That's cause it is.
11:57It's not gross enough.
11:58So?
11:59Stick your finger down your throat then.
12:01Look, I want my money back.
12:02I have the receipt.
12:04Tell me, what do you have in the way of a whoopee cushion?
12:17Frig off.
12:18I'm going on break.
12:19I'm only working here to help my mom out.
12:21This isn't my career.
12:22Things still tough since your dad left?
12:24This is my job, you know.
12:25It's not a place for you to hang out.
12:27Wow.
12:28Oh, okay.
12:29Wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:31I'm sorry, okay?
12:33It's just...
12:34It's hard to talk about sometimes.
12:36I get it.
12:38Want a custard cone?
12:40My treat.
12:41I'll use my vomit money.
12:43Yeah.
12:44Come on.
12:45That's it.
12:46Remember now, she'll have a kick.
12:48Squeeze.
12:49Gentle like.
12:50There you go.
12:53That's the her part.
12:55Hey, easy.
12:57You're gonna give me a heart attack.
12:59First day camping and I was already packing heat.
13:02I mean, that shook me up.
13:04Where's the toilet?
13:05Uh, you're standing in it?
13:08You done good.
13:12How'd that feel?
13:14Did you like it?
13:15I don't know.
13:16I felt powerful, but scared.
13:20Good.
13:21It's not a toy.
13:22You got to feel the weight of it.
13:24In more ways than one, eh?
13:27Ah!
13:28You see that?
13:30That means he got his first kill.
13:32That'll be you soon enough.
13:33Shooting a gun was one thing,
13:35but killing something?
13:37That was something else entirely.
13:39I'd just like to kind of savor it at each drum.
13:41That's all there is to it?
13:44Space like this won't last long.
13:46Wait.
13:47Ah.
13:48I'll need to think about it.
13:49Sure.
13:50Think all you want.
13:51But remember, this listing goes up tomorrow
13:52and we're giving you first crack.
13:53Take your time.
13:54Oh!
13:55And don't forget.
13:56We're the spouses with houses.
13:58Paul and Tori Royal.
13:59We're giving you the royal treatment.
14:01Okay.
14:02You're too pushy.
14:03We lost her.
14:04Listen.
14:05Are you sure about this?
14:06I mean, just think about all we'll be throwing away.
14:08The signage alone is going to cost a fortune to rebrand.
14:09Still too pushy.
14:10Slimy frigger.
14:11The St. John's fire department was quick to put out the blaze at the chicken abattoir.
14:18The fire is described as delicious.
14:25Very listening, VOCM.
14:26Mike Critch speaking.
14:27Mike, it's Gary.
14:28I've got an update on that car crash.
14:30The student driver passed away.
14:32Soon.
14:33It wasn't her fault.
14:34The fellow in the other car was loaded.
14:35I'm sorry.
14:36I'm sorry.
14:37I'm sorry.
14:38I'm sorry.
14:39I'm sorry.
14:40I'm sorry.
14:41I'm sorry.
14:42I'm sorry.
14:43I'm sorry.
14:44I'm sorry.
14:45I'm sorry.
14:46I'm sorry.
14:47I'm sorry.
14:48I'm sorry.
14:49I'm sorry.
14:50I'm sorry.
14:51Soon.
14:52It wasn't her fault.
14:53The fellow in the other car was loaded.
14:59Mike?
15:00I just got a complaint on the switchboard.
15:02Not right now, Gertie.
15:03I need to talk to Mike about something.
15:05That's who it's about.
15:08It's bad, Mike.
15:16Quiet.
15:17You'll scare the moose.
15:19Mooses.
15:20Meese.
15:21It's a moose car, Pop.
15:22Well, if you ask me, the best way to sneak up is to shut up.
15:28Oh, crap.
15:29Oh.
15:30What is it, Pop?
15:31No.
15:32Crap.
15:33Actual crap.
15:34Oh.
15:35Those are moose droppings.
15:38Precisely.
15:39Yeah.
15:40That's why I stood in them.
15:42Because I want to cover myself with animal scent so I can get close to them.
15:47Yes.
15:48Judging by the spray, I would say our bullwinkle went left.
15:56Hey.
15:57Hey.
15:58No offense, Pop.
15:59Pop though knows more.
16:00But I know better.
16:01It's this way.
16:03I found the poo, so I say it's this way.
16:08I mean, you wouldn't know your ass from a hole in the ground.
16:11Oh, oh, oh, okay.
16:13Come on.
16:14This is just woodsy banter.
16:16Hey.
16:17What?
16:18What?
16:19Get out the way, pet.
16:20Slowly.
16:21Ah!
16:22Oh!
16:23Dammit!
16:24Made me miss!
16:26If you're wrong as much as Pop was, eventually you have to be right.
16:30How do I look?
16:31Pretty?
16:32Pink?
16:33Mm-hmm.
16:34Okay, now.
16:35What do you think?
16:36Pink?
16:37Or I also have red.
16:38Don't matter, do it?
16:39It do matter.
16:40Paul is taking me for Indian food.
16:41Oh!
16:42He's so cosmopolitan.
16:43Yeah, um, about him.
16:46I've seen him at the mall today.
16:47Oh, you did?
16:48Did you say hi?
16:49No.
16:50No.
16:51No.
16:52No.
16:53No.
16:54No.
16:55No.
16:56No.
16:57No.
16:58No.
16:59No.
17:00No.
17:01No.
17:02No.
17:03No.
17:04No.
17:05No.
17:06No.
17:07No.
17:08No.
17:09No.
17:10No.
17:11He was, uh...
17:12He was with someone.
17:13Working.
17:14Oh, God.
17:15It's so nice to be with somebody who works so hard, you know.
17:18And your father couldn't hold down a job, but...
17:21I'm sorry.
17:23I know.
17:24I promised I wouldn't talk bad about your father no more.
17:27But Paul is...
17:29Oh, God.
17:30Oh, that's him now.
17:31Can you go get the door?
17:32I don't want him to see me without my face.
17:34But, Mom, I don't...
17:35He's good to me.
17:36Don't you want me to be happy?
17:39Yeah.
17:40Yeah.
17:41Yeah.
17:42Of course.
17:43I...
17:44Thank you, baby.
17:50Come right in, I guess.
17:51Nobody answered, so...
17:53Yeah.
17:54Usually means stay out.
17:56You're, uh...
17:58Jessica.
17:59Right?
18:00Jennifer.
18:01Close.
18:02I guess just tell your mom.
18:03I'll be waiting in the car.
18:04Does your wife know that you're here?
18:05What?
18:06I've seen you at the mall today.
18:07Where the spouse is with houses.
18:08It's cute.
18:09We're getting divorced.
18:10Smart lady.
18:11It's how we're marketed.
18:12It's just business.
18:13Right.
18:14Yeah.
18:15Business.
18:16Yeah.
18:17Like, you should mind your own business.
18:18Ah, thank you, my love.
18:19Hi, babe.
18:20Watch your brother for me now, okay?
18:21Don't wait up.
18:22Mom.
18:23Yes, my love?
18:24The red's nice.
18:26Sweet kid.
18:27Isn't she?
18:28Yeah.
18:29Nice to talk to.
18:30I know.
18:31She's really good.
18:32She's always nice.
18:33You're nice.
18:34Yeah.
18:35Wild.
18:36New.
18:37Go after the cross.
18:38What?
18:39I mean, I'm sorry.
18:40You wasn't missing out there.
18:41I'm sorry for your entire life.
18:42No, I'll find you.
18:43What?
18:44Yeah, like, you should mind your own business.
18:46Thank you, my love.
18:47Hi, babe.
18:49Watch your brother for me now, okay?
18:50Don't wait up.
18:52Mom.
18:53Yes, my love?
18:54I know, but she's so friendly.
18:56She was so friendly at school.
18:58Get up, get up, get up, and get down.
19:02Get up, get up, get up, and get down.
19:04Get up, get up, get up, and get down.
19:06Get up, get up, and get down.
19:08Oh, great job today, honey.
19:10The news was really great.
19:12Mike!
19:14Get up here now!
19:16Say, Jesus, what is going on?
19:18I need to talk to your son.
19:20My son?
19:22Why is this a virgin birth all of a sudden?
19:24You've got the wrong Mary.
19:25Dad?
19:26What's up?
19:27We need to talk about the way you deliver the news.
19:29Okay, I don't want to hear it.
19:31Well, you're gonna hear it.
19:32Oh, that's enough now.
19:33It was a joke, okay?
19:35I was having a bit of fun.
19:36Fun?
19:37You know that car crash the girl he took to the hospital?
19:40Yeah.
19:41Well, she died.
19:43She was the same age as you.
19:45Her mother called the station.
19:46She didn't think it was much of a joke.
19:48Oh, I swear, I had no idea that...
19:52No, Mike.
19:55I longed for the sweet, ignorant bliss of the grocery store freezer aisle.
20:03This is it.
20:14Just like I showed you, no?
20:23It was majestic.
20:25I could hear the sound of his breath.
20:29I could have heard his heartbeat if my own hadn't been so loud.
20:32Take it.
20:33Take it.
20:35It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
20:40What the hell are you doing?
20:48Diamond!
20:49Okay.
20:50You did good.
20:51You did real good.
20:52You did real good.
21:05Doing something scary doesn't make you grown up.
21:10Sometimes, doing nothing for the right reason is the bravest thing you can do.
21:15But the hardest thing to say is usually the right thing.
21:25Hi.
21:26Hi.
21:27Is this Mrs. Cowan?
21:30My name is Mike Campbell.
21:34I believe I owe you an apology.
21:37No animals were harmed in the making of this sandwich.
21:40Yeah.
21:44It's not funny.
21:45I'm embarrassed.
21:47I'm proud of you.
21:49You know, what makes you more of a man?
21:52Doing something that you don't want to do because somebody else tells you to do it,
21:57or standing up for what you believe in?
22:02I think I would have shouted if you hadn't have stopped me.
22:05That's why I stopped you.
22:07I thought you wanted the free meat.
22:08Not at that price.
22:19Night, Pop.
22:21Night.
22:22Sometimes you're in such a rush to grow up that you might not even notice that you already have.
22:52Thank you so much for having me.
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