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00:00Hi diddle-dee-dee, an actor's life for me.
00:07Oh, but this too, too solid flesh that I suppose is in the cane.
00:15Next, I'll watch you pick the diamond chain before you're honest, don't say face great.
00:21Next, hi diddle-dee-dee-dee, you sleep till after two.
00:26Oh, and the moment bears his deal to rot.
00:28Next, you call me the whole big cigar, you twirlow, great big car, you dine on chicken and caviar.
00:35You clothe my naked villainy and see my say, yeah, yeah, I know.
00:38Next, an actor's life for me, an actor's life for me.
00:50Excuse me, is this where they're holding the auditions?
00:52Yes.
00:53Robert Hales, my agent sent me along.
00:55Oh, Mr. Neal.
00:56I know you're looking for an unknown, well, I'm about as unknown as you could get.
01:01But I really think that I could play this part, you know, I'd love to be given the opportunity to show you what I can do.
01:06I really think I could do this.
01:08Do you think you could play Martin Luther King?
01:13I thought it was Martin Luther.
01:21Sorry.
01:28Martin Luther King.
01:33Yes, Desmond.
01:34in a new biographical play
01:37which presents the man's he'd never been seen before.
01:40But not as a white Presbyterian Scot.
01:44Ah, mere culper, old boy.
01:46Just misread the advert.
01:47Still, no harm done.
01:50What?
01:50No harm done?
01:52I travelled over 200 miles for that edition.
01:54I hired a monk's outfit.
01:57I learned the edict of naught.
02:00Desmond, my career is not going anywhere.
02:02Nonsense, old boy, you've done some excellent things.
02:05You played the West End last winter.
02:08I played Father Christmas in Sailor Moon.
02:11A kid set fire to my beard and nearly popped my nose off.
02:15All right, all right.
02:16See what we can do, eh? Shall we?
02:19Brenda, have the audition file, please.
02:24Oh, ha, ha.
02:29Do you like my new chair?
02:31Very swish.
02:32It goes up and down and revolves around.
02:36Hey, whee!
02:38It can do everything.
02:41Could you get me a job?
02:44Very expensive.
02:45But it's worth it.
02:48Ah, yes.
02:50This seems ideal for you.
02:52New Polish play at the Gatehouse Theatre.
02:54Part of the Thief, the title role, on the stage, throughout.
03:00Great.
03:00What's it called?
03:01The Battered Corpse.
03:02The Battered Corpse.
03:07He breaks into a house and gets battered just before the curtain rises.
03:13It's non-speaking.
03:16It's non-breathing, Daisy.
03:19It makes walk-on sound glamorous.
03:23It's an opportunity.
03:25She's an up-and-coming director, right?
03:27Could lead to bigger things, old boy.
03:29What?
03:30Better parts.
03:31They're auditioning on Thursday.
03:42I suggest you go along.
03:43Whee!
03:46Audition as a corpse.
03:48Well, why not?
03:49Well, how do you audition as a corpse?
03:51Well, I don't know.
03:53Just lie down will look battered, I suppose.
03:55Should be easy for you.
03:59What do you normally do?
04:01Well, I don't know.
04:03You know, a scene from Hamlet.
04:04Or the mad scene from Ghosts.
04:06Or, uh, just a bit of Amadeus.
04:09Or, uh, I don't know, just some singing and dancing.
04:13Amadeus?
04:14Or that play about Mozart?
04:15Yeah.
04:15Well, do that, then.
04:16He's dead.
04:21Just make an impact, old boy.
04:23Hmm?
04:24Mark my words, Robert.
04:26You've got to make an impression in this business.
04:33I'll try to remember that, Desmond.
04:36Uh, could you help me out?
04:39Could you get me a job?
04:42Oh, how I long to be that bloodied corpse.
04:46For whilst I live with heavy guilt,
04:49his soul is free and flying forth
04:51with birds of paradise,
04:52in silent joy across a limpid moon.
04:57God, what a pile of plop.
05:00LAUGHTER
05:00LAUGHTER
05:01Hi.
05:01You up for the stiff as well?
05:18I'm up for the lead.
05:26Ooh.
05:26LAUGHTER
05:27I don't play stiffs.
05:32LAUGHTER
05:32It's very good.
05:41Deep.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:44Thank you, we'll let you know later today.
05:54Clive, hello, darling.
05:55Hello.
05:56We won't be keeping you long.
05:57That's all right.
05:59Nielsen?
06:00Yes, you're next.
06:01LAUGHTER
06:02LAUGHTER
06:02I'm Rachel Cain, the director,
06:06and this is Voldemort Christophe, the writer.
06:08So, Robert, what have you been doing recently?
06:23Uh, a bit of decorating.
06:25Put some shelves up in the kitchen.
06:27Yes, acting recently.
06:29Oh.
06:30Uh, well, I suppose the main thing that I've done
06:33is a one-man show about St Nicholas and the West End.
06:36LAUGHTER
06:37Yes, it was a very avant-garde piece,
06:42so lots of audience participation.
06:45LAUGHTER
06:45Was it successful?
06:47Well, they were queuing up to see me.
06:50LAUGHTER
06:50I mean artistically successful as a statement.
06:53LAUGHTER
06:54OK, all we want you to do first is stand up.
06:58Just stand still and gaze into our eyes.
07:01Can you manage that?
07:02I should think so.
07:04We wish to feel your aura.
07:05LAUGHTER
07:06My aura?
07:09LAUGHTER
07:09My mum at the case put at his musk top post in theatre.
07:15LAUGHTER
07:16LAUGHTER
07:17LAUGHTER
07:18Mr. Nielsen,
07:21when people sit through my play,
07:23they will feel uncomfortable.
07:26You know why they will feel uncomfortable?
07:29Yes.
07:31I've been to the gatehouse theatre.
07:33The seats are terrible.
07:34LAUGHTER
07:35They are confronting death.
07:38You have that aura of death.
07:41LAUGHTER
07:42Good.
07:43LAUGHTER
07:44Yes, and I like your make-up.
07:46That's good.
07:47It gives you that subtle green tinge.
07:49LAUGHTER
07:50Right, but before you get into repositioning,
07:52we just want you to analyse the character of your play.
07:55OK, now you've read the piece.
07:57Yes.
07:58So, what sort of man is this battered corpse?
08:02LAUGHTER
08:04He's a dead man.
08:07LAUGHTER
08:08Yes, but what sort of man is he before that?
08:14He's a worried man.
08:15LAUGHTER
08:16Good, good.
08:18Why?
08:20Because he's about to be battered to death.
08:22LAUGHTER
08:23Yes, OK.
08:24Let's try improvising his last moments, OK?
08:29The pleading, the longing, the hopes...
08:32The fears.
08:32Yes, the fears before he batters you to death.
08:34And that way you'll have the right expression on your face as you fall.
08:37Think you can try that?
08:39Yes.
08:40LAUGHTER
08:40LAUGHTER
08:41Please.
08:45Please.
08:47Please don't kill me.
08:48Let me live.
08:49I want to live.
08:50I want to be old.
08:51I want to be or not to be.
08:53That is the question.
08:54Whether it is nobler in the mind
08:56to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
08:59or to die, to die, I am too young.
09:03For I have so much to give.
09:05I am genius.
09:06I am prodigy.
09:07I am Mozart.
09:09Ah!
09:09To die now, please, Mr. Nielsen.
09:11Mother, the fear of death has set me mad.
09:14The sun, mother, ghosts as well.
09:16I see ghosts in the sun.
09:18Please die now, Mr. Nielsen.
09:20Give me the moonlight, give me the girls,
09:22and give me the rest to me.
09:27LAUGHTER
09:27That's good.
09:29I like the pain on your face.
09:31Yeah, it didn't hit the floor quite right.
09:33I think I've put my back out.
09:36Ah!
09:37Ow!
09:39Ooh!
09:40Ooh!
09:40God, that's better.
09:42You shouldn't play a corpse.
09:44Robbie's too strenuous for you.
09:45It's cold.
09:47Oh, that stuff you put on's really good.
09:52What was that spray you used earlier?
09:55The spray?
09:56I sneezed, Robbie.
09:59Ah!
10:02That was quite nice, actually.
10:04What is the fatal flaw in Macbeth's character?
10:07Oh, don't.
10:08I've got to mark those later.
10:09I hope we've got it right.
10:11The fatal flaw in Macbeth's character
10:13is that he is Scottish.
10:14He can't help being demented
10:18because all Scots are.
10:21You trying to tell me something, Sue?
10:23Oh, it's Jeremy Thomas.
10:24His stepfather's Scottish.
10:25They don't get on.
10:26Well, I'm not surprised.
10:28There you go.
10:29Actually, his mother's asked me
10:30to give him some extra tuition,
10:31but I'm not so sure.
10:32Oh, extra tuition?
10:34Yeah, you know, round here.
10:36She says she'd pay me £10 an hour.
10:38£10 an hour to have a young,
10:39teenage, mutant, Scot-a-phobic in the flat?
10:42No way.
10:43What do you do with the money, Robbie?
10:45Yeah, I know.
10:47I'm useless, I mean.
10:48I haven't worked in six months.
10:50It's OK.
10:52You agreed, didn't we?
10:54I'd earn the regular money
10:55while you bring in what you can.
10:57Didn't realise it would be nothing.
11:00Look, I'm sure we'll manage.
11:03Oh, Robbie, could you get that?
11:05Hello, sex gods from hell.
11:13Robert, the theatre's just been on.
11:16They want you for the corpse.
11:17You're kidding.
11:18I thought I didn't have a big enough aura.
11:20Well, apparently the writer
11:24wanted a wax model for the part.
11:26He said they could make it look horrible,
11:28but the director preferred you.
11:30Especially if the corpse is right in front of the stage
11:32and it's such a long play.
11:34Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:35So they want something really realistic.
11:37She wants something
11:38that won't melt onto the footlights.
11:41So, well done, old boy.
11:43Hey, Desmond, when do I start?
11:45Ah, oh, yes, hang on.
11:52Look, I'll get back to you with the schedule, all right?
11:56Desmond, are you all right?
11:57Yes, yes, I'm fine, I'm fine.
12:00I've just got to...
12:01Desmond!
12:06Right, let's take it from the top one more time.
12:12Oh, God in heaven.
12:13Klaus, Klaus, what have you done?
12:15His bloodied face cries anguish to my soul.
12:18Ludmilla, my love, I know not what I did.
12:22His name is Istvan Petrovic,
12:24a worker on our land,
12:26who stood before me here
12:28a common serf no more,
12:30yet with a look which said,
12:32all property is theft.
12:35Oh, woe is me.
12:36And thus I raised my spade aloft
12:39and struck him,
12:40struck him yet again
12:42until his face
12:43was but a battered ball of blood
12:45and blubber was his brain.
12:49Then is he dead, my darling?
12:53He's dead.
12:54The man who lies upon our floor,
12:56my sweet, is dead.
13:01Dead?
13:01Yes, dead.
13:03Dead.
13:07Utterly dead.
13:09It cannot be.
13:11It is.
13:13He breathes not.
13:15He moves not.
13:17He sighs not.
13:19He just keeps on sneezing.
13:22I'm sorry, Rachel, love.
13:23I'm sorry, Valdemar.
13:25I can't work like this.
13:26Sorry.
13:27But he does it every time.
13:29I can't help it.
13:30Okay.
13:30He's ruining my play.
13:32It's all right, Valdemar.
13:33Poxy fringe theatre,
13:35tacky dressing rooms,
13:36decrepit stage,
13:37and now this.
13:38Five, look,
13:39I suggest we break for ten minutes.
13:41Okay, I'll try and sort something out.
13:43It's all right.
13:44Sorry, darling.
13:45Sorry, then.
13:47I know how you feel, darling.
13:48By the way,
13:54you heard the latest.
13:55No, what?
13:56Apparently,
13:56they're trying to cast
13:57Martin Luther King
13:58and some white actor
13:59turned up for it.
14:02You're joking.
14:04He thought it was
14:05Martin Luther.
14:07They'll let anyone
14:08in the profession these days.
14:09I must find out
14:11who it is.
14:12Someone to be avoided, darling.
14:14Yes.
14:14Yes.
14:14What, you paying me off?
14:21We need a corpse, Robert.
14:23We need your presence on stage.
14:25Now, go and get yourself
14:26some medicines,
14:28cold capsules,
14:29anything to shut you up.
14:30All right, thanks.
14:31Rachel.
14:32And a bottle of brandy.
14:33Oh, great.
14:34Thank you very much.
14:35The brandy's for me.
14:37Don't be long.
14:38Rachel, I am not happy.
14:39Not happy at all.
14:40Look, can't we start?
14:41We've been waiting
14:42half an hour.
14:43He's bloody useless anyway.
14:44Oh, Robert, there you are.
14:46How do you feel?
14:47Fine.
14:48I've taken some capsules.
14:51It said take two
14:52every four hours
14:53for fast relief.
14:54Go.
14:54So I've taken ten.
14:58Make it pretty instant.
14:59Oh, my God.
15:01I've stopped sneezing anyway.
15:03Can't feel any tickling
15:04in my nose.
15:05Right.
15:05Can't feel my nose, actually.
15:08I'll just slide down.
15:10I don't think he's well, Rachel.
15:12No, no, I'm fine.
15:14I'm the buttered corpse.
15:16The buttered corpse.
15:18Right.
15:19Well, let's get on, shall we?
15:20And let's make it
15:21really intense, OK?
15:23I'll take this.
15:25And those.
15:26Right.
15:27Lights.
15:28Up.
15:30Oh, God in heaven.
15:31Klaus, Klaus,
15:32what have you done?
15:33His bloodied face cries
15:35anguish.
15:35Anguish.
15:36Anguish to my soul.
15:38Anguish.
15:42Ludmilla, my love,
15:43I know not what I did.
15:45Good.
15:45That's good.
15:46His name is Istvan Petrovich,
15:49a worker on our land,
15:50who stood before me here,
15:54a common serf no more,
15:56yet with a look which said,
15:59all property is theft.
16:01Oh, woe is me.
16:04Oh, woe is all of us.
16:06He's bloody snoring now.
16:08Ignore him.
16:09What a snoring corpse.
16:10Look, he's dead.
16:11Just fix it in your mind
16:12that you've killed him.
16:13Yes, I bloody will
16:14if this carries on.
16:15Oh, yes.
16:15Yes.
16:15Oh, shut up, you idiot.
16:18No, no, no cornflakes for me, Mum.
16:21Oh, get off me.
16:22Oh, get off my neckline.
16:23I am trying to.
16:25And thus,
16:26I raised my spade aloft.
16:28Oh, no, no, no cornflakes for me, Mum.
16:32Oh, no, no cornflakes for me, Mum.
16:35Oh, no, get off me.
16:36Oh, get off my neckline.
16:36Oh, get off my neckline.
16:37I am trying to.
16:39And thus,
16:40I raised my spade aloft.
16:40Rachel,
16:41your corpse has just thrown up all over my shoes.
16:44Yeah, he's rehearsing.
16:45I'm sorry, Jean.
16:46We see he had a bit of a disaster
16:47about a week ago,
16:48so he's rehearsing every evening.
16:49Yeah.
16:51Trying to be perfect, yes.
16:54Yeah, I'll tell him you rang, yes.
16:56Of course.
16:56And you.
16:57Bye.
17:01That was your mother, Robert.
17:02Perhaps you could give her a ring
17:03when you're living again.
17:06Sorry about that, Jeremy.
17:07Still, I think you're nearly finished, aren't you?
17:09You're going to redo that essay
17:10on Macbeth for me?
17:14Jeremy.
17:14Oh, yeah, right.
17:15Good.
17:16We'll go through it next time, all right?
17:18Yeah.
17:20Um, I'm sorry about tonight, by the way.
17:23I mean, this must seem a bit odd,
17:25but you see, he's an actor.
17:26Yeah.
17:28And he's Scottish.
17:31Yes, he is, in fact, Scottish.
17:32Yeah.
17:34Um, I'll see myself out, Miss Bishop.
17:36All right, then.
17:37I'll see you at school tomorrow.
17:38Take care.
17:38Okay, good night.
17:39Good night.
17:42Well done, Robert.
17:43I've now got a pupil who thinks I live with a nutter.
17:46You know that's going to be round the school by tomorrow.
17:48It's just one evening when you could have gone into the bedroom.
17:52One evening.
17:52But no.
17:54The bedroom's not big enough, Sue.
17:56I can't spread myself properly.
18:01Do you want your supper on the table,
18:03or shall I set up an intravenous drip?
18:04Don't answer.
18:08You know, I've felt bloody rotten all week,
18:11but don't you worry.
18:13It's very useful, this part, isn't it?
18:16Can you help with the washing up, Robbie?
18:18I'm rehearsing.
18:20It's your turn to make the coffee.
18:21I'm rehearsing.
18:23Do you want to go to bed with me?
18:24I'll be two minutes.
18:28Hello.
18:30You're in there, are you?
18:31My three hours is up in two minutes.
18:35Then I will do whatever you want.
18:38Until that time, I am not moving a muscle.
18:41Are you sure?
18:44Stop that!
18:48This part requires total physical control.
18:53Thanks to this week's training, I now have that control.
18:56I've seen you move tonight.
18:59When?
19:00About an hour ago, your arm twitched.
19:02You spilt hot coffee on it, of course it twitched.
19:09Anyway, we open tomorrow night,
19:10so this is my last rehearsal.
19:13Hallelujah.
19:14Thank God for that.
19:16Yep.
19:16Quick trip to the mortuary tomorrow,
19:18and I am ready.
19:19The mortuary?
19:21Yeah.
19:21Look at some dead bodies.
19:24Maybe pick up some little detail
19:26about the way they look.
19:27You're faint.
19:28I will not faint.
19:30I'm a professional.
19:33Right.
19:35Oh, that's it.
19:40Oh, Mum.
19:43I'm all yours, Sue, baby.
19:44Let's get to it.
19:46I can hardly wait.
19:48This one chucked herself off a roof.
19:54Skewered herself on some railings, she did.
19:58Let's look at that.
19:59Dear old dear.
20:01We haven't been able to identify it,
20:04so we calls her Donna.
20:06Short for Donna Kebab.
20:10Skewered.
20:11Yeah.
20:13You're trying to have a bit of a laugh, don't you?
20:15Right, now, over here.
20:19This one's a real pass.
20:21He fell into a threshing machine.
20:23Threshing cereals, he was.
20:25So he says a bit of a cereal himself.
20:28In several parts.
20:32What did he laugh?
20:34Less than two minutes.
20:36You went.
20:37I said he knows stomach for it.
20:50Hello?
20:50Oh, hello, dear.
20:51It's Desmond.
20:53Oh.
20:53Hello, Desmond.
20:55And Donna, can I speak to Robert, please?
20:57I'm afraid not, no.
20:59Yeah.
21:00Do you know what he is?
21:01Is it the mortuary, Desmond?
21:02Yes, St. Thomas's.
21:09I thought you knew.
21:11Desmond, I'm sorry.
21:12I'm going to have to get another hanky.
21:14Sorry.
21:16Oh, dear God.
21:19Oh, my God.
21:21Brenda?
21:24Yes, Desmond?
21:25Robert's dead.
21:27Robert Nielsen.
21:28No.
21:28Yes.
21:30He's supposed to be on stage tonight in The Battered Corpse.
21:34Mind you, I suppose you could still play it.
21:37No, no, no.
21:38That's out of the question.
21:39What's happened to him?
21:40I don't know.
21:41Sue was too upset to say.
21:43I'd better ring the mortuary and find out.
21:46Phone book.
21:47Phone book.
21:48Oh, yes.
21:48Bloody thing.
22:00Yeah, this had quite a notch.
22:02Yeah.
22:03Oh.
22:07Hello, I'm sorry.
22:09Hello.
22:10I'm ringing about to Robert Nielsen.
22:12He's an actor.
22:13I'm his agent.
22:15Nielsen?
22:15Yeah.
22:16Yeah, he's here, all right.
22:18No, sir.
22:19Yes, I've got him in the slab, right in front of me.
22:22He's on the slab.
22:24He just went, I'm afraid.
22:26No stomach, you see.
22:28No stomach.
22:29Hmm.
22:30Do you want me to bring him round?
22:32No problem.
22:33Leave him there.
22:39Oh, my God.
22:41No stomach.
22:44Brenda, I think you'd better ring the theatre and warn them.
22:47Oh, and Brenda, they might need a replacement.
22:51Would you bring us our client's list, please?
22:57How's your head?
22:58Much better.
23:00I've only got double vision in the morning.
23:01I knew you'd faint, I told you.
23:05I did not faint.
23:07I just fell asleep rather suddenly.
23:11I don't know why you have to make up at home.
23:13Because they've given me the gents' toilets as a dressing room, that's fine.
23:21Brilliant.
23:22It's Jeremy.
23:24That's all I need.
23:26Oh, hi, hi, it's Miss Bridget.
23:27Yay!
23:29Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Miss Bridget.
23:31Yay!
23:34Oh, I can't be sure.
23:39Oh, Desmond phoned while you were out.
23:42Did he?
23:42What did he want?
23:43Oh, I don't know.
23:44He didn't say.
23:45I'd better give him a ring, then.
23:46I'd better still.
23:47We could call in or I'm just on the way.
23:48Oh, Robbie, there wasn't time.
23:56So funny, so we've got plenty of time.
24:03Hey, will I do a ghostly wail as he comes to the door?
24:05No, don't be so stupid.
24:07He's coming.
24:11I am a ghostly wail, but he'll say.
24:17What have you done?
24:18I don't do anything.
24:19I just went...
24:20It's OK.
24:22Desmond.
24:22I think he's OK.
24:24His heart's going like the clappers.
24:25He's an agent.
24:26He doesn't have a heart.
24:27What?
24:27It was a joke.
24:28It was a joke.
24:29Come on.
24:29Desmond.
24:30We've got to get him to a doctor.
24:32And get him somewhere comfortable.
24:35What about the theatre?
24:36You won't be comfortable there.
24:37No, no, no, me.
24:38I've got to get to the theatre.
24:39What am I going to do?
24:39I can't try.
24:40It's like a tube or a cow or something.
24:42You're looking like this.
24:43We should have thought of that earlier.
24:44Look, this is your fault.
24:45You can just get yourself out of it.
24:47I've got to get Desmond a doctor.
24:51Well, can you not call me a cab first?
25:07Audience are in, Rachel.
25:08OK.
25:09House lights down.
25:10Scene one.
25:11Lights up in 30 seconds.
25:14Good luck.
25:16Right.
25:16House lights down.
25:17Cue them for sound.
25:18I'll be out there.
25:19Yeah.
25:20Good luck.
25:26Rachel, come on.
25:26Sorry I'm late.
25:27I'll crawl on in the blacker.
25:29Don't worry.
25:29Bring me about it later.
25:30No.
25:30Get off the bloody stage.
25:46Who are you?
25:48The corpse.
25:50I'm the corpse.
25:52You can't be the corpse.
25:54You're dead.
25:55Well, of course I'm dead.
25:57I'm the corpse.
25:58This is my part.
25:59And this is my fist.
26:01So never.
26:02Don't you tell me.
26:03Make no notice there are two of us.
26:10Oh, God in heaven.
26:12Klaus.
26:13Klaus.
26:14What have you done?
26:15His bloody face cries anguish in my soul.
26:20And so does the other chaps.
26:24Lord Miller, my love.
26:25I know not what I did.
26:28His name is Istvan Petrovich, a worker on our land.
26:34The other one is called Tolinovich, a common pillock no more.
26:42Yet with a look which said, I'll cock this drama up.
26:48What, my love?
26:50And thus I raised my spade aloft and struck them both until their face was but a ball of
26:59blood and blubber was their brain.
27:03Good.
27:04Well, hit them again to make sure.
27:08Right.
27:13You've ruined my place.
27:16Robbie, listen to this one.
27:18The Battered Corpse is a play which is intended to shock, and it certainly shocked its cast
27:24last night when two battered corpses turned up on stage.
27:28This proved too much for the leading actors, and the highlight of the evening was the sight
27:33of dead corpses creeping off to a void being battered again.
27:37During an early interval, heated words were exchanged in the wings.
27:42The rest of the battered corpse then proceeded without any corpse at all.
27:45I understand future performances will feature a wax dummy in the role.
27:50What a pity.
27:52Who's that?
27:54Michael Billington.
27:55I wish I'd seen it.
27:57Once I got Desmond sorted out, it was all over.
28:00He doesn't mention any names, does he?
28:02I will not cause any further embarrassment by naming the actors in this woeful production.
28:10Except for Robert Nielsen.
28:14The clueless corpse who caused all the chaos.
28:17A one-man disaster area.
28:20And the only white actor to audition as Martin Luther King.
28:23How does he know that?
28:28He doesn't.
28:29I'm just making it up.
28:30Hi, diddly-dee-dee.
28:34An actor's life follows the night.
28:36A high silk pattern would save a game.
28:38For what you'd go to the diamond chain.
28:40Hi, diddly-dee-doo.
28:42You sleep till on the two.
28:44You promenade with a big cigar.
28:46You tour the world in a great big club.
28:48You diamond chicken and beyond.
28:51An actor's life for you.
28:53If we could pick and choose.
28:55And nature wasn't a factor.
28:57It was a bill for food.
28:58I think the life of an actor.
29:02Hi, diddly-dee-doo.
29:03You sleep till after two.
29:06You promenade with a big cigar.
29:08You tour the world in a great big club.
29:10You diamond chicken and beyond.
29:12An actor's life for me.
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