- 6 weeks ago
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00:00Hi-dee-dee-dee, an actor's life for me Oh, but this too-too-solid flesh
00:10That's high-sick to the sun I came Next
00:15A watch of gold at the diamond chain Here, boy, you're on his psalty face, great
00:21Next Hi-dee-dee-doo, you sleep till after two
00:25Oh, and the golden bear's a steal to rot Next
00:28You've got a little mixing, are you tore?
00:31A great big car, you dine on chicken and caviar
00:34Oh, my naked villainy, then she must say, yeah, yeah, I know next
00:38An actor's life for me, an actor's life for me
00:46Ladies and gentlemen, this is your half-hour call
00:54You have 30 minutes
00:56I wonder where he's got to
01:01Darling, calm down, he'll be here in a minute
01:04A professional actor should be in his dressing room 30 minutes before the curtain rises
01:09But perhaps he's gone to the loo
01:11Marjorie, we've been here 10 minutes
01:14You can't say he spent all that time in the loo
01:16Desmond, it is his first night
01:20But it's not good enough As an agent, there are certain things I like to instill in my clients
01:26And one of them is professionalism backstage
01:29Yes, dear
01:31Well, I know about these things I've been an actor
01:34When I was an actor, I didn't leave my dressing room before the curtain went up
01:38You were only into productions
01:40You never left the dressing room after the curtain went up
01:44That's why they sacked you
01:47They didn't sack me, the productions closed
01:51Well, of course the productions closed, darling
01:54The leading actor refused to leave the dressing room
01:57Well, I suffered from stage fright
01:59Anyway, it's not my fault they couldn't afford an understudy
02:04That's beside the point
02:06I may not have been an outstanding actor
02:09No
02:09But I am an outstanding agent
02:13My agency is renowned in this business
02:15And I expect my actors to be professional
02:18Where is he?
02:21The man on the stage door hadn't heard of you
02:24What?
02:25You said you were renowned in the business
02:27But the man on the stage door hadn't heard of you
02:29Well, he's not in the business
02:31He's just the man on the stage door
02:34He had to ring up the theatre manager to see if he could allow us in
02:38Yes, I know
02:40And the theatre manager hadn't heard of you either
02:43Well, no, well
02:45Nor had the producer or the director
02:48Now look
02:49Or the leading actress
02:50If Robert had been in his dressing room
02:53They could have just asked him
02:55In fact, they only let us in because it was raining
02:58And they felt sorry for us
02:59Nonsense
03:00Well, they thought you were on your last legs
03:02With all that wheezing and sniffing
03:04Marjorie
03:05I may be older than you
03:07But you don't have to treat me like a pension
03:09Robert, have you had a chance to
03:12Oh, no
03:13Oh, sorry
03:14Robert's not here at the moment
03:16I am his agent
03:17Desmond Shaw
03:19We're just waiting for him
03:21You're Desmond Shaw?
03:23Yes
03:24The theatrical agent?
03:26Yes
03:26You're famous, you are
03:29Thank you
03:31You see, Marjorie
03:33I am well known in certain quarters
03:35Yeah
03:35You're the actor who'd never leave his dressing room
03:38And now you're an agent
03:41Are you looking for any new clients?
03:43Because I'm a terribly talented performer
03:45I can sing
03:47I can dance
03:48Thank you
03:49I can act
03:49I'm a terribly good actor
03:51I could act you off the stage
03:52Well, I'd never get you on the stage
03:53But you know
03:54Well, look
03:55Would you like to see some Twelfth Night?
03:57No
03:57Excuse me
03:58Oh, go on
03:59If music be the food of love
04:01Play on
04:02Give me excess of it
04:04That sufficing the appetite may sicken and so die
04:07Enough
04:07No more
04:08This is neither the time nor the place
04:10Oh, right
04:11I'll come round to your office, shall I?
04:12Well, there must be other agents, surely?
04:14No, there's not
04:15I tried the reputable ones
04:17It's down to you now
04:18I'll pop in on Tuesday, shall I?
04:22Thanks very much
04:22Hope you and your daughter enjoy the play
04:25Daughter
04:27Daughter
04:29I don't look that old
04:32Perhaps you didn't think you were old
04:34Perhaps you thought I was young
04:36You?
04:37Well, I am considered attractive by some, you know
04:40By who?
04:42Well, uh
04:43Robert only recently said
04:45Robert?
04:46Yes, Robert
04:47When he was staying with us at the cottage
04:49Whilst he was at the Bristol Old Vic
04:51I got to know him quite well, actually
04:53Robert said you were attractive
04:55To your face
04:56To my wife
04:57It was just a remark in passing, Desmond
05:00What did he say?
05:02It was personal, I'm not telling you
05:04Personal? What sort of...
05:07I am not telling you
05:09So
05:09He made a passage you then
05:11Oh, Desmond
05:13And to think I invited him into our home
05:15Out of the goodness of my heart
05:18You charged him rent, Desmond
05:20Extortionate rent
05:23It'll practically pay for our extension
05:25Your extension?
05:27You're the one that wants the conservatory
05:29Not me
05:29It was just a passing remark
05:32He's a very sweet boy
05:34Oh, Dan
05:34My cufflinks gone
05:37And extremely generous
05:38He bought us that huge meal last night
05:41Oh, I'm suffering for it now
05:43Not that you'd notice
05:44What?
05:45No, nothing
05:46I'm going to find my seat
05:48Wish Robert luck for me, will you?
05:50Yeah
05:51Is this what you're looking for?
05:55Oh, thank you, yes
05:56See you
05:57Yes
05:57Bye
05:59Desmond, hi
06:08Where have you been, Robert?
06:11In the gents
06:12Why?
06:13You've been in there
06:14Forty and a half minutes
06:16Yeah
06:17So
06:17What is this?
06:18Some sort of time and motion study?
06:21You're supposed to be in here
06:22Yeah, well
06:23You know
06:24First night nerves
06:25And all that days
06:26You should know all about those
06:28You needn't bring that up again
06:30What was it the other actors called you?
06:33Godot, wasn't it?
06:34Always waiting for you to turn up
06:36Might have done, yes
06:38I'm very nervous
06:40Very complicated play
06:42This may the farce be with you
06:43Good, good
06:44What sort of play is it?
06:47Well, it's a farce
06:48It's very funny, actually
06:50I hope you and Marjorie enjoy it
06:52Oh, yes, Marjorie
06:53I want to talk to you about
06:55Oh, damn
06:57My other cufflinks gone now
06:59Damn
07:00It's quite a funny coincidence, actually
07:03I don't mind
07:04But Derek Jacoby gave them to me
07:06Because, uh
07:07The woman who's playing my girlfriend in the play
07:10Is called Sue
07:11Just like my Sue
07:12Blast
07:13And, uh
07:14The woman I'm having an affair with
07:16Is called Marjorie
07:17Ah
07:18There
07:19What a relief
07:22I'm sorry
07:23You were saying?
07:25I was saying
07:26My girlfriend's called Sue
07:28Yes
07:28And I'm having an affair with Marjorie
07:31Marjorie?
07:39As in my wife
07:41Marjorie?
07:43Yeah, that's what I'm saying
07:43It's quite a coincidence, isn't it?
07:46It's rather more than a coincidence
07:48Yeah, it's amazing, actually
07:51Yeah
07:51So this
07:53Affair
07:54Is more than just
07:56A past, then?
07:58Oh, yeah
07:58We've gone the whole hog
07:59We've been at it hammer and tongs for a week
08:04The trouble is
08:06That Marjorie's now gone and got herself pregnant
08:09Oh, my good God
08:12That's quite funny, actually
08:15Because, you see
08:16The thing is
08:17That I'm the innocent party in all this
08:19Because Marjorie just threw herself at me
08:21There was nothing I could do
08:24You obviously managed something
08:27Pregnant
08:29Because
08:30The problem is
08:31That how do I keep it going
08:33With Marjorie and the kid
08:34Without Sue finding out
08:36It's quite a farce, isn't it?
08:38Yeah
08:38So
08:39What will you do?
08:43Well
08:43That would be telling
08:46Don't want to spoil your evening
08:50Desmond, darling
08:56You've got the tickets
08:57I can't get in without them
08:58No, darling
08:58Thank you
09:00Robert
09:00Marjorie
09:01Best of luck, dear
09:06Oh, thanks
09:07Oh, I'm sure you'll be very funny
09:08I've always said he was funny
09:09Haven't I, Desmond?
09:11What?
09:11Oh, he's had me on the floor many a time
09:14Right, well, I'd better be off
09:18Oh
09:20Oh, are you okay?
09:22Mm-hmm
09:22It's all your fault
09:24Oh, yes
09:27Sorry about that
09:28Oh, that's all right
09:30I enjoyed it at the time
09:31I'm suffering now
09:34Right, I'll see you later
09:36Bye
09:37Ladies and gentlemen
09:40This is your 20-minute call
09:42You have 20 minutes
09:44Robbie
09:45Sue, baby, come in
09:47Are you decent?
09:48No
09:48Hi
09:50Hello
09:51How are you feeling?
09:53Well, I'm okay
09:54I think I know what I'm doing
09:55Oh, you'll be great
09:56I'm sure you will
09:57Hey, isn't it exciting, Desmond
09:59Robert's big night
10:00Big night?
10:02He's had several big nights by the Sunday
10:03What?
10:05Are you okay, Desmond?
10:07You don't look at all too well
10:08I'm feeling rather unsettled, actually
10:10Oh, dear
10:11It's not those first night nerves again, is it?
10:13You don't have to worry, Desmond
10:14You're not going on stage
10:15It's not those first night nerves again
10:17Why does everybody keep it going on
10:19About my nerves?
10:20My nerves are fine
10:21Desmond, it's my first night, not yours
10:25He's really good at making you feel calm, isn't he?
10:27I've just got to go and check my props
10:29I'll be back in a minute
10:29Okay
10:30I love you
10:31Love you, too
10:35Oh, dear
10:39Oh, dear
10:40Oh, dear
10:41I'm sorry you're not feeling too well, Desmond
10:44What's the matter?
10:46You poor, poor girl
10:47What do you mean?
10:50He's just using you and you don't realise it
10:52Sorry
10:53Sue
10:54I don't know how to tell you this
10:56But you know when Robert stayed with us in the cottage recently?
11:01He started seeing someone else
11:03An affair
11:04Robert?
11:07Yes
11:07He told me so himself just now
11:09He came straight out with it
11:11Oh, come on
11:11It's true, dear
11:13For who?
11:15I mean, who'd be so desperate she'd have an affair with Robert?
11:24My wife
11:25Marjorie?
11:28She threw herself at him
11:30Robert and Marjorie?
11:32According to Robert, they've been at it hammer and tongs for weeks
11:36No, I don't believe it
11:38She told me
11:39He's had her on the floor several times
11:42Oh, my God
11:44She's quite open about it
11:46They're obviously in such a sexual frenzy
11:49They don't care who knows
11:51He loves me
11:53He loves me
11:53Yes
11:53He wants everything, obviously
11:56I'm sorry, Sue
11:59I shouldn't have told you
12:00Bastard
12:01I said I'm sorry
12:02How could he?
12:05I know
12:07And I'm afraid that's not the end of it
12:10You see
12:11They're going to have a baby
12:14Baby?
12:17Yes
12:18It's true, dear
12:19You can ask them
12:20They won't deny it
12:22Desmond
12:23Oh, there, there, there, there
12:26Well, that's it
12:29Robert, have you had a chance to check your
12:31Oh, it's you again
12:32Go away, go away
12:36Sorry, I didn't realise you and your wife were busy
12:39This isn't my wife
12:41The other woman was my wife, you stupid man
12:43Oh, I see
12:49Who's a naughty boy, then?
12:52I beg your pardon
12:53Get out
12:54Nice one, mate
12:55Oh, damn
12:56Where are you going?
12:58To sort that chap out
12:59He's got the wrong end of the stick entirely
13:01Desmond
13:02Desmond
13:13Oh, hello, dear
13:17You haven't seen Desmond by any chance, have you?
13:19He's just popped up for a moment
13:21Oh, so he can leave the dressing room
13:23I was beginning to wonder
13:24Hey, it's super to see you
13:26Robert must be pleased
13:28And his first night in the West End
13:30You must be thrilled
13:32Well, I know I am
13:34I don't get chance to go to the theatre much, you know
13:36I mean, I know Desmond's an agent
13:37But he's useless, actually
13:39I hear congratulations, O'Renard and Marjorie
13:42Sorry?
13:42I hear you're going to, um, have a little addition
13:46A what?
13:48Oh, you mean my little extension, yes
13:51Well, if that's what you want to call it
13:55Yes, isn't it wonderful?
13:57And I'd never be having it without Robert, you know
13:59So I hear
14:01He provided the wherewithal
14:03The wherewithal?
14:06Yes, well, you see, Desmond never wanted one
14:08He said it was unnecessary and expensive
14:10But I did
14:11So when Robert came to stay with us
14:13Well, that gave me my chance
14:14And where are you having it?
14:18Round the back
14:19Now, I mean at home
14:24Well, you know the kitchen?
14:26The kitchen?
14:27Yes, you know how it leads onto the patio
14:29Well, just there, by the barbecue
14:32I mean, I know some people say that's a rather silly place to have it
14:38But that's where I want it
14:41See, that's where I originally conceived it as being
14:44I conceived it on the patio by the barbecue
14:48So now all we have to do is pray for a little sun
14:52My God
14:53Make all the effort worthwhile
14:55Sun and air
14:57Sun and air, exactly
14:59Oh, Lord, I'd better be going
15:02Listen, if you see Desmond
15:03Will you tell him where I've gone?
15:05And give Robert my special love, of course
15:08Of course
15:10Ladies and gentlemen, this is your 15-minute call
15:14You have 15 minutes
15:1615 minutes to go
15:19Sorry I had to dash off like that
15:21You sod
15:23Well, I was only going a couple of minutes
15:25You don't care, do you?
15:28You're so wrapped up in your own little world
15:30You just don't care how other people feel
15:31Eh?
15:33I don't see any point in going on, Robert
15:35I've got to go on
15:37The play can't start without me
15:38Us going on
15:40Well, you're not in it
15:42I'm not in it, and that's it
15:44I just don't count at all, do I?
15:47What?
15:48Look, can we talk about this afterwards?
15:49I've got to finish my make-up
15:50I won't be here afterwards, Robert
15:53I'm leaving you
15:55Do you know why?
15:58Because I just can't stand one person deceiving another
16:00It's just not fair
16:01No
16:02What's wrong with honesty?
16:05What's wrong with admitting it?
16:06Saying it out loud
16:07I'm having an affair and we're going to have a baby, huh?
16:11What?
16:12I'm having an affair and we're going to have a baby
16:14What's wrong with saying it?
16:16It's the truth
16:17It's the truth?
16:19Blast
16:20Good, we've got it out into the open
16:22And that's why you're leaving me?
16:26No alternative
16:26Who is he?
16:31I haven't told Desmond yet
16:32Oh, Desmond
16:33But I'm sure he'll think I'm doing the right thing
16:38You and Desmond
16:40That bloody A.S.M. has just tried to blackmail me, Sue
16:46He said
16:46If I don't agree to be his agent
16:48He'll tell Marjorie that he caught us together
16:51The nerve of a man
16:53I said, well, I don't care
16:55I'll tell her myself
16:56Oh, hello, Robert
16:58Desmond
16:59Desmond
16:59I've spoken to Robert
17:00And I've told him that's it
17:01I'm finished with him forever
17:02Well, if you're sure, dear
17:04I am
17:05Now, I'd like you to take me for a drink, please
17:07Certainly
17:07Robert
17:08I'm taking Sue out for a little tipple
17:11And I just want you to realise it's all your fault
17:14Mine?
17:16Yes
17:17You've let Sue down
17:19You've let me down
17:20You had a sweet girl here
17:22And now
17:22You've lost her
17:24You've lost me completely
17:26You're a despicable swine
17:30And you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself
17:32Come along, dear
17:33Oh, and good luck with the play
17:38I hope it'll be very funny
17:39Break a leg
17:40Or break one of yours
17:43If you come back in here again
17:44Silly me
17:46I seem to have left my programme in here
17:48How are you feeling, Robert?
17:51Terrible
17:51Oh, well, never mind
17:53The worse you feel, the better you'll be
17:54Marjorie?
17:55Yes?
17:56I need to talk to you
17:57Well, we'll have a drink after the show, darling
17:59No, no, no
17:59I must talk to you now
18:00You need to know what's going on
18:02I think I can follow the play without a synopsis, Robert
18:05No
18:06Offstage, Marjorie
18:08I think you'd better sit down
18:10For heaven's sake
18:10What are you talking about?
18:13Desmond
18:13I'm talking about Desmond, Marjorie
18:15He's leaving you
18:18He's found someone else
18:20Desmond?
18:22Don't be so silly, Robert
18:23No, no, no
18:24It's true, he has
18:25You mean he's playing around with some woman?
18:28Not just some woman
18:29It's far worse than that
18:31Some man
18:34It affects all of us
18:40I'm as involved as you are
18:43You?
18:47Yes
18:47Good Lord, you?
18:51Yeah, I've just been talking to Suze
18:53And she's leaving me because
18:55Well, you know
18:56Because of Desmond?
18:59Yes, exactly
19:00Oh
19:02I see
19:03This is going to take a bit of time to sink in
19:06You see, I had no idea that Desmond was like that
19:11Nor me
19:12Nor you, quite
19:18I'm sorry, Marjorie
19:19I hope you don't mind me telling you
19:21But I felt you ought to know, you know
19:22And besides, I need a sympathetic ear
19:26You know, a few kind words
19:27So far this evening
19:28I have been called a sod
19:30And a despicable swine
19:31Oh, you're not a despicable swine, Robert
19:35Thanks, Marjorie
19:36A sad little deviant, perhaps
19:38What?
19:41Look, there is absolutely no point in getting emotional about this
19:44That doesn't do any good at all
19:45We've got to look at this calmly and rationally
19:48Do you think I can look at anything rationally now?
19:50The first thing we have to consider is this
19:52Yes
19:53Do you love him?
19:58Love him?
20:00Well, yes, Desmond
20:01No, of course I don't love him
20:03But he loves you
20:05Does he?
20:07Good God
20:07Well, that's what you've just said
20:12No, no, no
20:14I don't love Desmond
20:15So it's just sex, is it?
20:21No, no, no
20:22There's nothing between Desmond and I at all
20:24Nothing?
20:26No, no, no
20:26Desmond's having an affair with Sue
20:28Oh, thank goodness for that
20:32What?
20:36That's what I was trying to tell you
20:37Sue?
20:39And that's not all
20:40They're going to have a baby
20:43Sue and Desmond?
20:47Yes
20:47But she's an intelligent woman
20:49Why?
20:51He must have something, I suppose
20:52Well, I've been married to him for 18 years
20:55And I've never found him
20:56And now she's given her all to him
21:00To my agent?
21:02He's only supposed to take 10%
21:04And they're going to have a baby
21:10I just don't believe this, Robert
21:12Yes
21:13Enter one little Desmond
21:15God, I wonder what it'll be like
21:18Well, if it takes after its father
21:21It'll never leave the womb
21:22Robert, you've got a performance to give
21:28Come on, that's the most important thing
21:29Yeah
21:30Are you all right, Marjorie?
21:31Yes, I'm fine
21:33Come on
21:34Now, you make them laugh, eh?
21:36Yeah, yeah
21:37I'll have them rolling in the aisles
21:39I'll have Desmond rolling in the aisles
21:41When I get a hold of him
21:42You best of luck, dear Fee
21:44Yeah
21:45Thanks, Marjorie
21:46Robert, you've got seven minutes
21:49Have you checked your
21:50Good, it's a regular wife-swapping party in here, isn't it?
21:56What?
21:56A different combination every time
21:58Are you lot like this at home?
22:01I was just wishing him luck, if you don't mind
22:03I'd better be going, Robert
22:05Yeah, Marjorie
22:06Yes?
22:07Sorry
22:08Hey, it's not your fault
22:10I'll see you later
22:11Yeah
22:11Yes, well, anyway
22:15You've got six minutes
22:16Six minutes?
22:17I'll never be ready in time
22:18You wouldn't just run the first page with me, would you?
22:20I'm sorry, mate
22:20I've got to go round to all the dressing rooms
22:21Please, just the first page
22:23It'll help me concentrate
22:24Oh, all right
22:25No, I don't need that
22:27You've rehearsed it so many times
22:28I can remember it
22:29Right, okay
22:31Ah, well, you be Marjorie, okay?
22:34Well, there's very little point in being you, is there?
22:41Oh, darling
22:41I've waited so long for this moment
22:44Yes, well, you'll just have to wait a little bit longer
22:48Just till I close the door
22:49No, no, I want you now
22:51I want you so very, very much
22:53And I want you too, darling
22:55Good
22:56Do you love me?
22:58Of course I love you
22:59You make me feel like a wild animal
23:02A wild, uncontrollable animal
23:04Let's go over here and take your things off
23:07Stop, stop, stop
23:09Stop it at once
23:12It isn't
23:13Good Lord, Robert
23:15Is there no end to your depravity?
23:17I was just preparing for my entrance
23:19I beg your pardon?
23:24The entrance in the play
23:26We were just running it
23:27With Marjorie
23:28What do you mean?
23:31Marjorie
23:31Yes, well, I think I'd better be going now
23:33You've got five minutes
23:34The Marjorie in the play
23:36The one I told you about, Desmond
23:38The one I'm having the affair with
23:40The Marjorie
23:42In the play
23:44Yes, well, I'd hardly be having
23:47Rumpy Pumpy with you, Marjorie
23:49I mean, you'd have to be pretty stupid
23:52To think that
23:53You didn't think that, did you?
23:58No, no
23:59Of course not
24:00I want your door key, Robert
24:03I'm sure Marjorie will give you a bed for the night
24:05Great, Desmond
24:07A perfectly understandable mistake, old chap
24:11What is?
24:12What's going on now?
24:13Sorry, dear
24:14I made a bit of a bloomer
24:15You see
24:15The Marjorie Robert is having an affair with
24:18Is the Marjorie in the play
24:20Not my Marjorie
24:21Sorry
24:23So he hasn't done anything, then?
24:27Well, nice to see you had so much faith in me, Suze
24:30He seems so sure
24:32Yeah, well, how would you like it
24:33If I went round leaping to the wrong conclusion like that?
24:35But no, you're lucky
24:36I form my opinions on the basis of fact
24:39I like to get things right
24:40That's the sensible and mature way to do things
24:43Yes, I'm sorry
24:44I'm very sorry
24:45Good
24:46So when are you and Desmond having this love child there?
24:50What?
24:51This baby, when is it due?
24:53Baby?
24:53What are you talking about?
24:55Oh, don't deny it
24:56You said it to my face
24:57You said, I am having an affair and we are going to have a baby
24:59I was trying to get you to say it
25:01Oh, where are you now?
25:03So you...
25:05What?
25:06So much for the sensible, mature approach
25:09Look, can I just sort this out, right?
25:11You're not having an affair with my wife
25:13No!
25:13Good
25:14And I'm not having an affair with you
25:15Well, you should know
25:17No, no
25:18Right
25:18And nobody's expecting a child
25:20Good
25:21Well, that's sorted out
25:23Thank you, thank you
25:24Hang on
25:24Marjorie is
25:25Marjorie's pregnant
25:26What?
25:28What would you mean?
25:29She told me
25:30She said, uh
25:31She's hoping for a little son
25:33She used those very words
25:34I say
25:35I'm going to be a father at 54
25:42Congratulations, Desmond
25:46Oh my God
25:54I've got to get ready
25:56Why didn't she tell me?
25:57Well, she probably didn't want to worry you, Desmond
25:59I mean, after all, it's early days yet
26:01Yes, yes, of course
26:03Well done
26:04Robert, you're not still in here
26:06Desmond, I want a word with you
26:09Hello, darling
26:11Here
26:12What are you doing?
26:13Well, Sue just told me the happy news
26:15What happy news?
26:17That I'm going to be a father
26:18I think it's wonderful
26:23Well, I bloody don't
26:25Gary
26:26You insensitive pig
26:29Getting her pregnant
26:30And boasting to me about it
26:31No, Marjorie
26:32You've got it wrong
26:33What?
26:33Mr. Nielsen to the stage, please
26:35Mr. Nielsen to the stage immediately
26:37Wish me luck
26:37Best of luck
26:38Nielsen, will you stop messing about
26:40In your dressing room
26:40And get on stage
26:42What is going on?
26:44Marjorie
26:45I'll tell you on the way to the seats
26:46Come on
26:46Come on, Desmond
26:48I can't
26:48I can't move
26:49I've got my back out
26:51Oh, don't be so silly
26:53Come on, Desmond
26:53I have
26:54Well, nice one, Gordo
26:56Another first night
26:57We can't leave the dressing room
26:59Hi, diddle-dee-dee
27:05An aftertlyper
27:06A high silk hat
27:08And a silver cane
27:09A watch of gold
27:10With a diamond tree
27:11Hi, diddle-dee-doo
27:13You sleep till aftert
27:14You promenade
27:16With a big cigar
27:17You tour the one
27:18With a great big car
27:19You dine on chicken
27:20And caviar
27:21An actor's life
27:23On you
27:23The grass is always greener
27:25In the other fellow's yard
27:27No matter what your life may lead
27:30You think your life is hard
27:31If we could pick and choose
27:33And Major wasn't a factor
27:35Here's a book of news
27:37I take my life
27:38Of an actor
27:39Hi, diddle-dee-dee
27:42An actor's life for me
27:44A high silk hat
27:45And a silver cane
27:46Of what should go
27:47With a diamond tree
27:48Hi, diddle-dee-doo
27:50You sleep till aftert
27:51You promenade
27:53With a big cigar
27:54You tour the one
27:55With a great big car
27:56You dine on chicken
27:57And caviar
27:58An actor's life for me
28:02And a technology
28:03The
28:05Ruby
28:07Brought
28:08To me
28:08The
28:09To me
28:21The
28:22The
28:22The
28:23s
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