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Loot - Season 3 Episode 10 -
Hail Mary Time
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Hail Mary Time
#RealityTVDeep
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00:00Now many are dubbing it the wedding of the century as billionaire tech mogul John Novak
00:12ties the knot this weekend with saucy Italian socialite Luciana Mozzaborata.
00:17Ugh, that's not a name. That's just two cheeses. And now I want cheese. God damn it.
00:22Now the couple were planning to tie the knot in the Italian countryside at a 700-year-old church
00:27they've leveled to build their outrageous new megavilla pancetta acres. Details of the wedding
00:33are under wraps, but Luciana celebrated over the weekend with a controversial four billion dollar
00:38bachelorette party that took place in space. Classy. The bride posted on X from the International
00:44Space Station, sisterhood in the stars will never forget this weekend. Rest in peace, Nicole.
00:50We will miss you. Hey, I was watching that. Sorry, ma'am. This is no evidence in our investigation.
00:57I'm not going to take this lying down, you know. I'm tough. There are 72 steps down to
01:04my beach in Malibu and I do it all by myself. Most of the time. I'm going to get the public
01:10on my side. I'm a middle-aged woman in perimenopause. People love that.
01:15You know I got that. You know I got that. Pull up in the new whip. Cost me two trips. I put that roof, Chris, all in the two lips. Take vacations on jet. It's too slick. Don't bring the bags. I'll buy you some new fits. The money, the fame, and the life that's right. Everything I dreamed of and the price is right. Every day I see a dove go inside the light. That's the
01:45diamond shining on the wrist at night. You see it. But it ain't so lovely. I got two things in life. Trouble and money. You see it. But it ain't so lovely. I got two things in life. Trouble and money.
02:04I got everything you want. You know I got that. I got everything you need. You know I got that. I got everything you want. You know I got it. I got everything you need. You know I got that.
02:14Ow!
02:18Sofia.
02:20Petra.
02:22Well, never get over seeing Sofia Salinas in a pantsuit. Remember during Occupy when you got arrested three times in one day?
02:29They didn't even take off the cuffs the second time. They knew I was coming back.
02:34I'm sorry about what's happening to the Wells Foundation.
02:37Do you think there's anything Representative Watkins can do about it? We have done a lot of good work in his district.
02:43Well, we can ask him when he wakes up from his nap. Between you and me, Watkins is on his way out. He's only 87, so he's young for Congress, but he's starting to slip and fall down a lot.
02:56Got it. Well, you know I had to try.
03:00We're actually looking for his replacement. We need someone young, smart, with an activist background. Someone people can get excited about.
03:07Hmm. Well, good luck. That sounds great.
03:10Well, to me, that sounds like you.
03:12What?
03:13My anxiety is out of control, and I can't do anything about it because they confiscated my balding stress balls.
03:19Okay, those assholes took my Demi Lovato Russian nesting dolls. She would just get smaller and smaller, and now she's gone.
03:27Okay, I know you guys don't like to do this, but maybe it's time we finally pray.
03:34Hark, heathens, blood of the Christ, raineth down upon me.
03:40Ainsley! Please. That's not the vibe.
03:44How'd the meeting go, Sophia? Any help from Petra?
03:48There's nothing she can do.
03:49Luciana is holding all the cards.
03:51Oh, it's... Is this the end?
03:56I'm so sorry, guys. I feel like maybe I went after the billionaires a little too hard.
04:02Maybe if I wasn't so charismatic, or if I popped less on camera, or if I didn't have that intangible it factor, we wouldn't be in this mess.
04:12No, stop. Don't apologize. All this means is that we were scaring them, that we were doing the right thing.
04:18We should be proud of what we did. I'm proud to work with you.
04:22Mm-hmm.
04:23Thanks, guys. That means a lot. Come on. We have to figure something else out.
04:29I don't like this, but what if we find Luciana and John and beg for mercy? Just kiss their asses.
04:37Or what if we expose their asses?
04:40Ooh, something toxic is coming. I'm getting tingly.
04:44Luciana is lying about who she is, right? What if I threaten to expose her at her wedding?
04:50She'll want the day to go perfectly. Maybe she'll get scared and agree to back off.
04:55I don't know, cuz she scrubbed the Internet of her old identity. There's really no proof.
05:00I'll figure something out.
05:02Okay, team. It's Hail Mary time. Everybody go home, pack your best clothes.
05:08Let's go ruin a billionaire's wedding. Yes.
05:11Oh, I'm so excited. I've ruined so many weddings before, but never a straight one.
05:22Hey, guys. Morrow's gonna tag along with us. And he has something to say, which is not really where he thrives, but c'est la vie.
05:30Hey, everyone. Thank you so much for letting me come on your little work field trip.
05:35I've never had a job, but I don't know why everyone complains about it, cuz this frickin' rules.
05:41I mean, you got serious lady, funny black guy, blonde clone, average white in the rear.
05:47And, I mean, I knew there'd be a gay guy, but he's Asian, too. So dope.
05:52All right, shall we sit? Yeah.
05:54Uh, oh, hi. I guess this is...
05:56Oh, um, Morrow, we haven't officially met yet. I'm Arthur.
06:00Oh, my God. Of course. Arthur, it is so good to meet you.
06:04Molly says the nicest things about you in her sleep.
06:07What? I do?
06:09Oh, yeah. And, hey, are you the one who put the labels on the smart toilet buttons?
06:14Ah, yes. Yeah, that, that was me. I mean, that bidet button totally reads as flesh, doesn't it?
06:19Brother, I would still be in there if it wasn't for you.
06:22Bring it in. Okay.
06:23Come on, your friend. Come on.
06:25I'm gonna see what the creatine situation is in the Getty.
06:28Cool.
06:30I'm sorry. He begged to come because he wanted to see a real Michelangelo.
06:35That's his favorite turtle.
06:38I hope it's not too weird.
06:41No, no, no. It isn't.
06:43Obviously, I'm sad that things didn't work out, but there's more important things going on right now,
06:50and I just want to be here to help the foundation, so I'm fine.
06:53Yeah, thank you for saying that. I'm so relieved.
06:56Oh, good. Actually, I have been dabbling in some online dating.
07:01Okay.
07:02There is one service in particular. It's just for CPAs, and it's called, get this, love potion number 1099.
07:11Like they, like the number nine, but they put 1099.
07:14Sure.
07:15You know, which is a pretty famous tax form.
07:17I mean, it's probably right up there with a W-2 or a W-4.
07:20Do you think you're giving me a little too much information?
07:22I do a little bit, yeah.
07:23Me too.
07:24Uh, we can take off now. We're ready.
07:35Guys, maybe we should live it up a little. Get some food and drinks.
07:38This could be our last time on the PJ for Wells Foundation business.
07:41I need something to take the edge off.
07:47I can't believe this is all coming to an end.
07:49Well, I know my next venture. I'm gonna try out for dancing with the cars.
07:53What's that?
07:54That's what I'm about to find out.
07:56What would you do, Sophia, if this all I did?
08:01What makes you ask that? Do you know something?
08:03No, I don't know anything, and I don't want to. That's why I'm so happy.
08:07Okay, well, I'm not thinking about the future Ainsley, so he's up on the questions.
08:12What are you, the Riddler?
08:13Well, you know, actually, despite those question marks on his tunic,
08:16the Riddler deals more in logic puzzles than-
08:18Okay, everyone shut up. Look into your phones. That's an order.
08:23This is your captain from the flight cabin. We are starting our descent.
08:27Descent? It's only been six hours.
08:29I didn't know Italy had so many abandoned malls.
08:32Those aren't abandoned malls, Ainsley.
08:35Those are prisons and industrial chicken farms.
08:40We're taking a little detour, everyone. Welcome to Delaware.
08:44Ew. Why?
08:45If we're gonna get Luciana to back off, we need to prove that she's really Ashley Kate from Dover, Delaware.
08:52I'm gonna go to her high school, I'm gonna get an old yearbook, and I'm gonna bring it to the wedding.
08:57Okay, Slay. I'm coming with.
09:01Oh. That's so sweet of you, babe. But I don't want to attract too much attention.
09:06And I don't think they have a lot of this in Delaware.
09:10You should take Arthur. He'll fit right in. He's from Delaware.
09:14Uh, no. I'm from Rhode Island.
09:17It's the same place. No, it's not.
09:20Then name one substantial difference.
09:27Okay, yeah. It's pretty much the same thing. I, uh, I will come with.
09:32There's a lot of dead dogs on the runway. Is that a regional thing?
09:42Ah, why do all high schools smell the same? Like, lemon B.O. with just a touch of cannabis.
09:49Home of the fightin' forever chemicals.
09:52Is that about us? I don't know. I do not like their smiles. Their sharp little teeth.
10:02Oof. I do not miss this age. No.
10:04I made so many mistakes. Oh, me too.
10:07Every day, I wore the same Charles Barkley signature cologne.
10:12It was called technical foul.
10:14Well, I stuffed my bra with scrunchies, so everyone called me bumpy boobs.
10:19Well, thank God that is all way behind us now.
10:24Yeah, I don't know.
10:26I still feel like I'm making a lot of stupid mistakes.
10:32Oh, okay. Here we go. Get into character.
10:35I'm Brenda. You're Dave. Okay?
10:38Okay. This is exhilarating.
10:40I always wondered what it would be like to have a cool name like Dave.
10:46Oh, hello.
10:47Oh, hello.
10:49Can I help yous?
10:50Yes, hi.
10:51Um, I was wondering if you had any old yearbooks.
10:55I used to go here.
10:56Yeah, class of 2003.
10:58I was prom queen.
11:00And my boyfriend...
11:01What's up? I'm Dave.
11:03He doesn't believe me, so...
11:05I wanted to show him an old photo.
11:07Prom queen.
11:082003? Wow.
11:11So you're Michelle Mallorino.
11:13Yep.
11:16All right.
11:17Dave and Michelle.
11:18Okay. Cool, cool, cool.
11:20I've heard about yous.
11:22Let me get you that yearbook.
11:26I guess I have just one other question.
11:29Anything.
11:30Where's your couch?
11:32Excuse me?
11:33Where's your friggin' couch?
11:35Honey?
11:37Dave, where's my friggin' couch?
11:39Uh, it's at home where couches usually are.
11:42Okay.
11:43Michelle Mallorino famously got hit in the head with a firework.
11:47Her hair caught fire.
11:49Her brain got boiled.
11:50So she went home, laid down, and never got up again.
11:54She's been laying on that couch ever since, eating scrapple and watching wheel.
11:58So either you twirl around and show me a leather loveseat growing out of your ass, or yous not who she says yous are.
12:08Um, okay.
12:09Well, obviously, I am not Michelle Mallorino, but I do wish her all the best.
12:16My heart goes out to her.
12:17What is scrapple?
12:18It's little pig penises that we grind down into little hamburgers.
12:22Okay.
12:23Look.
12:24My real name is Molly Wells, and I'm a billionaire.
12:28Google me.
12:30How about this?
12:32You give me that yearbook, no questions asked, and I'll donate enough money to your school for a new library.
12:38Right here, right now.
12:39Jesus Christ, look at that. You're loaded.
12:42Like a baked potato, honey.
12:44All right, Molly Wells, you got a deal.
12:50I've got a deal.
12:51A deal.
12:52Like a deal.
12:53A deal. She's saying deal.
12:54A deal. She's saying deal.
12:55That's what I said, a deal.
12:56Except I don't need a friggin' library.
12:59What I need is a bigger principal's office.
13:03Real swanky.
13:04Jacuzzi.
13:05Smoker's area.
13:06The works.
13:09Okay.
13:10Sure, well, I can donate enough money for both of them.
13:12I'm not building a friggin' library!
13:15Don't ever tell me when I bought that woman a smoker's lounge.
13:18Yeah, and ten tanning beds.
13:19Let's bounce.
13:20I think they're having Scrabble for lunch and I can smell it.
13:23Italy, here we come.
13:25No, no.
13:26Sure.
13:28Yeah.
13:29But if you want to get them, yeah.
13:30No.
13:31Your own business.
13:32All right, guys.
13:33I'd like to listen to each other than the day.
13:34I'd like to listen to each other than the day.
13:35I'd like to listen to each other than the day.
13:36All right, guys.
13:38Eccola qua, ehi è partita per le spiagge e sono solo qua su in città , sento fischiare
13:51sopra i tetti un aeroplano che se ne va, azzurro, il pomeriggio è troppo azzurro e lungo
14:03per me, mi accorgo di non avere più risorse senza di te
14:12Ok, questa è la fanciest wedding I've ever been to, and I went to one in a Benny Halls
14:19All right, you guys go mingle, I'm gonna look for Luciana, she's probably hanging upside down
14:23in a cave somewhere
14:24Wait, do you need backup?
14:27Oh no, it's fine, I should talk to her by myself
14:33All right, Arthur, let's get some vino in you, huh?
14:36Yeah, I mean, when in Rome
14:38Wait, dude, are you having a stroke? Because you just did not finish that sentence
14:44Oh, it's an idiom
14:46Don't call yourself that
14:48Yeah, I'll explain on the way
14:51Has anyone seen Sofia?
14:59I think she snuck off
15:00No, she was drinking a lot on the plane
15:02Oh my god, she's calling me right now
15:05Ainsley Whitebottom, how may I help you?
15:10Oh my god, what?
15:11Where are you?
15:14Oh my god, don't move
15:16We'll save you
15:17So that was Sofia
15:20From our job
15:21She just called me
15:22On my phone
15:24Yeah, we know that, Ainsley, where is she?
15:26This way
15:27I need to speak to Luciana
15:38Miss Mozzaburrata asked not to be disturbed
15:41Tell her it's Molly Wells
15:44And I'm here to talk about Ashley Kate
15:46Miss Wells, to see you
15:52She says you can come in
15:56Thank you
15:59Well, Luciana
16:01I just paid a little visit to your hometown
16:05Skin lesion capital of the world
16:08Congratulations
16:09Classy place
16:11Here's the deal
16:13You're gonna stop harassing my foundation
16:16He's not here!
16:19What?
16:20John, he's not here
16:22He's leaving me at the altar
16:26This place is amazing
16:33Yeah
16:33Um
16:34Arthur, can I be real with you?
16:38I want to get intimate
16:40Even if it crosses some boundaries
16:43So
16:43Do I have your consent?
16:46Oh, wow
16:46I don't really feel that way about men
16:49But I mean
16:50We are in Europe
16:51So I don't know
16:52Oh, dude, no, no
16:53No, not that
16:54Oh, yeah, no, not that
16:55No, me neither
16:56No, actually
16:57I wanted to talk to you about Molly
16:59Clearly, you are, like, the best guy ever
17:03And, you know, it didn't work out with you two
17:06Yeah, no, that's right
17:10And I just
17:12I really like Molly
17:13And I really want things to last between us
17:16So
17:16Can I ask what went wrong?
17:20Yeah
17:20Yeah, I think
17:22I just got overwhelmed by the lifestyle
17:25You know, the parties and the extravagance
17:29But
17:29But
17:29Here's the thing
17:31All that stuff
17:32That's not who she is
17:34The real Molly is
17:37Generous
17:38And loyal
17:39And fights for her friends
17:41And just
17:41Wants to make the world a better place
17:44So don't give up
17:47Because she is
17:48Worth it
17:50She's so worth it
17:54Oh, Arthur, that's
17:56That's really beautiful
17:58I wish you were my dad
18:01Oh
18:02Not that much older, but okay
18:05Eggbird
18:07Skater
18:08I order you as a human being to walk away from me
18:11Oh, my God
18:13Can someone tell these monsters to leave me alone?
18:16Okay, everyone
18:17First of all
18:18What are your names?
18:19Does anyone have any bread in their pockets?
18:21I already ate all of mine
18:22Oh, step aside, losers
18:23I grew up on a farm
18:24Skit, skit
18:25Get out of here
18:26Birds are for working
18:27Not for whatever pissy shit this is
18:29Come on, let's get out of here
18:30Go, go, go
18:31Sophia, what are you doing out here?
18:36Well, I was on a walk to think
18:37When those hellcocks swarmed me
18:40Oh, please
18:40You've been weird this entire trip
18:42What is wrong?
18:44Okay
18:44I didn't want to say anything
18:46But when I met with my friend Petra
18:48She put an idea in my head
18:50Oh, boy
18:50I do not like ideas
18:52She wants me to run from Congress
18:53What?
18:54Are you serious?
18:56That's amazing
18:57I know
18:58And look
18:58It's something I've always dreamed about
19:00I had a huge post of Shirley Chisholm
19:02On my room when I was a kid
19:03I love Shirley Chisholm
19:04The woman and the drag queen
19:06Yeah, but I feel guilty even considering it
19:08Especially what's been happening at the foundation
19:10I devoted my whole life to this
19:12I can't just abandon it
19:13Girl, if this is your dream
19:15You better go for it
19:16And everyone here will understand
19:18Yeah, babe
19:18You would make an incredible candidate
19:20I only vote based on two issues
19:22Bone structure and economic policy
19:23So, yeah, my vote
19:24You're exactly the type of candidate
19:26That should be running
19:27You're smart
19:28Kind
19:29And willing to help a friend
19:31Get out of a lawsuit
19:32With a lizard store
19:33No damages
19:34And you'd have my vote
19:36Except my pastor made us burn
19:37All of our important documents
19:38Do you need help?
19:41It's going here
19:42First, let's circle back to that one
19:44I tracked his PJ
19:47He's over the Pacific Ocean right now
19:49He's probably
19:50Going on our honeymoon by himself
19:53I was going to give out so many boners
19:58With my slutty bikinis
19:59I'm sorry this happened to you
20:04What?
20:07You're nice to me now?
20:09Or are you just
20:11Yanking my rod?
20:14No, I'm supporting your rod
20:16Oh
20:17Never mind your rod
20:19Listen
20:19You might not want to hear this right now
20:22But this all might be for the best
20:24No, it's not
20:25I got nothing
20:27I got nowhere to go
20:29Oh my God
20:31What was I thinking?
20:32I'm just this girl from the slower lower
20:34He's like this billionaire Superman genius
20:38He's no Superman, believe me
20:41None of them are
20:43They're just scared little nerds
20:45Who are all angry because they didn't get asked to prom
20:48Yeah
20:49I bet you got asked to prom plenty of times, right?
20:52Of course I did
20:53Of course you did
20:54Scotty Roper
20:56Hockey player, 6'2
20:59Hot as hell
21:01Too bad he's in jail in Afghanistan now
21:04Long distance relationships are hard
21:06But there'll be another Scotty Roper
21:10A girl like you
21:12Who's strong and
21:13Has the smarts to do what you did
21:16Sky's the limit
21:18Thank you, Molly Wells
21:20You're welcome
21:21God, it's freaking cook that John's the one who screwed us over
21:25And somehow you and me are the ones that end up fighting
21:28How does that make sense?
21:30That's what these guys want, isn't it?
21:34For us to turn on each other
21:36Because if we do that
21:38Then we aren't looking at them
21:39Hey
21:43I'm going to call the White House and tell them to leave your charity alone
21:48I appreciate that, thank you
21:51Of course
21:52Hey
21:53You're one of my bitches now
21:57And you mine
22:00Yo
22:03Yo
22:05Shrimp's down
22:06Listen up, you guys
22:09First things first
22:11I ain't Italian
22:13That was a ruse
22:14Second thing second
22:17The wedding's off
22:18The groom pussed out
22:20But don't worry
22:21I got this John rented out all night
22:23And I'll be damned
22:25If I'm going to let some rich prick ruin it
22:27Actually
22:28If you're a billionaire
22:30Get lost
22:32That's right
22:34Tonight we party Delaware style
22:37Is that a real thing?
22:38It's when you do met with the cops
22:40Oh, okay
22:40Not exactly Delaware style
22:42But we are going to blow the doors off
22:45Woo
22:46And if you're working
22:48Then take the night off
22:50Yeah
22:51Grab your artist cousin
22:52And meet us on the dance floor
22:54Stack
22:55Hey, DJ
22:57Blast some real shit, would ya?
22:59Cut my life into pieces
23:02This is my last resort
23:05Suffocation
23:06No breathing
23:07Don't give a fuck if I can't be on me
23:10Yeah
23:10This is my last resort
23:15Molly
23:27Oh my gosh
23:29I've just gotta say
23:30Great job
23:32I love everything you're doing
23:34Thank you so much
23:35Have we met?
23:36Oh, I'm Melinda
23:37I'm a philanthropist too
23:39Is it cool if I stay?
23:41Well, Luciana did make an exception for hot bitches
23:44Which applies to both of us
23:46So, have fun
23:47All right
23:48Enjoy
23:48You too
23:49You too
23:49Amore
23:50I love you
24:16Hey, Petra, it's, it's Sophia.
24:30So listen, I was thinking about what we discussed, and I made up my mind.
24:46It doesn't matter if I understand, it's all right in my ear, tell me your secrets and fears, once you talk to me, I'll talk to you and say, hey, let's get out of here, shout it out back to my house.
24:58Oh, it's a seat taken?
24:59No, no, no, please.
25:01Boy, you had some real incredible moves out there.
25:05Thanks.
25:06Oh, man.
25:08The dance floor and a wedding.
25:10I mean, there's something about it.
25:12I know, I know.
25:14I guess it's just the whole gamut of human experience out there in one place.
25:20Young people with tons of energy, slightly older people with more experience.
25:26Under their belt.
25:27Mm-hmm.
25:28And then, of course, the superstars of any wedding.
25:31Ugh.
25:34God, I love them.
25:35I know.
25:36Me too.
25:37Mm-hmm.
25:38Everybody said to do each and every little...
25:44Molly.
25:48I'm not fine.
25:51What?
25:52I keep telling you and everybody else that I'm fine, but that's not true.
25:59I miss you.
26:04A lot.
26:05Arthur.
26:06You don't have to say anything.
26:07No, I...
26:08I just, uh...
26:09I don't know.
26:11I wanted to be honest with you.
26:15I miss you, too.
26:16I miss you.
26:19I made a mistake.
26:21I regret breaking up with you.
26:23I feel like I blew it.
26:27No, you haven't.
26:29You couldn't.
26:35Because that should be us.
26:40I want that to be us.
26:46Just promise me we won't get that wrinkly.
26:49No.
26:50Not with your money.
26:51I see what I am.
26:53How can I breathe for you?
26:56What do you say?
26:59But what good does it do?
27:01Should we try again?
27:02But I ain't got you.
27:05I ain't got you.
27:07Baby, you don't know what it's like.
27:12Baby, you don't know what it's like.
27:17To love somebody.
27:20To love somebody.
27:21You don't know what it's like.
27:23The way I love you.
27:27I know what.
27:29You don't know what it's like.
27:33Baby, you don't know what it's like.
27:36There you two are.
27:38Oh, Mauro.
27:40Hi.
27:40I hadn't completely forgotten about you.
27:42Yeah, neither did I.
27:43Um, I'm actually really glad both of you were here because Arthur, you helped me figure
27:48out that I have something to say to Molly.
27:50And Molly, you're Molly, who is the person I have something to say something to.
27:56Oh, Mauro, uh, Arthur and I are just...
27:59Molly Wallace.
28:04Will you marry me?
28:05What?
28:06Ah!
28:07This is so romantic!
28:10Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
28:14Uh, everyone, hold your horses!
28:16Uh, Molly, will...
28:21What?
28:23Will you actually marry me instead?
28:25Oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
28:36When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore
28:46When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine that's amore
28:55Bells will ring
28:59Ting-a-ling-a-ling
29:00Ting-a-ling-a-ling
29:01And you'll sing
29:03Vita Bella
29:05Hearts will play
29:09Tip-a-tip-a-tay
29:10Tip-a-tip-a-tay
29:11Like a guitar and they'll
29:14When the stars make you drool
29:19Just like a pastiff as
29:21Ooh, that's amore
29:23When you dance down the street
29:28With a cloud at your feet
29:31You're in love
29:32When you walk in a dream
29:38But you know
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