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Rob and Romesh Vs Season 8 Episode 1
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#Rob and Romesh
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00:00Rob and I are back.
00:06It looks a bit like you're my guide.
00:10Throwing ourselves into the biggest challenges.
00:12Check, check, check.
00:15With the help of the world's best.
00:17You still own the office.
00:20Together we're going on a journey of discovery.
00:23No, no, no.
00:25To find out what we like.
00:27Oh wow, Rob, that's amazing.
00:29And what we don't.
00:30This feels like it's all going to come out.
00:33This week, we're heading to Mumbai.
00:36Right, relax, relax, relax.
00:38Home to one of the world's biggest film industries, Bollywood.
00:42Action.
00:43We'll be getting help from some of its biggest stars.
00:46Have you ever seen anybody that looks like this in a Bollywood feature?
00:49No.
00:49As we try to earn roles in a blockbuster Bollywood movie.
00:53So here we are, Rob.
01:04Mumbai.
01:05Oh, wow.
01:06It's quite overwhelming, isn't it?
01:08Oh my God, it's so close.
01:10Oh, I'm really impressed.
01:12Right, relax, relax, relax.
01:13It's my first time in India.
01:16I'd say there's a lot to take in, Rob.
01:19Yeah.
01:20It's an unusual decision to dress as the empire when you've done it.
01:27It looks a bit like you're my guide.
01:28You've been here before.
01:33Any tips you'd give me to that blend in?
01:35I've been here once.
01:37Lasted more than once.
01:38Why?
01:41TV work.
01:41Right.
01:42Why did you pause?
01:46Also, Rob, I'm a bit worried.
01:48Yeah, go on.
01:48I've had a bit of an upset for stomach.
01:51Since you've got here?
01:52No, before I got here.
01:53Did you have, like, a warm-up curry before you came?
01:55No, no, I actually had a cheese and pickle sandwich before I left.
01:59Do you know what?
02:01I could imagine how this went.
02:03Lou, go to India tomorrow.
02:05Can you, can I have the whitest thing in the world?
02:08I did.
02:09Fill me up with bread and dairy, babe.
02:12I'm off to India.
02:18Bollywood.
02:19Yeah.
02:19The ideal scenario is, Rom, to complete this mission, we get a part in a Bollywood movie.
02:23That's got to be the aim, yeah?
02:24Yeah.
02:25I know this sounds weird, but I think you've got a better chance of that than I have.
02:30Really?
02:30Because you've got, like, more of a unique look.
02:33I do feel like this is the show I get cancelled on.
02:35Yeah.
02:36Me attempting Bollywood.
02:37The only thing I would say is, like, on TikTok, which is banned over here, every time you see,
02:43like, a white guy who turns up to an Indian wedding and, like, nails the dance or whatever,
02:47it goes viral.
02:48Yeah.
02:48And that's, yeah.
02:49Yeah.
02:49I think if you manage to get over doing something cultural, I think, I genuinely, I'm not just
02:54saying this.
02:55Yeah.
02:55I think you could be a megastar over here.
02:58I honestly believe that.
02:59Bollywood is one of the world's biggest film industries, famed for its big dance numbers
03:06and incredible action sequences.
03:09If we had any chance of making it here, we desperately needed some help.
03:13So we tracked down the perfect person to get us on our way, a Bollywood star who's gone
03:20on to break Hollywood, Ali Fasau.
03:23From his breakout comedy performance in Bollywood classic Fukri to taking on full throttle blockbuster
03:29action in Fast and Furious 7.
03:31240 miles per hour, top speed.
03:34And it's bulletproof.
03:37Ali's range made him the guy to help us on our mission.
03:39We were dropping in on him during a photo shoot to pick his brains on all things Bollywood.
03:45Hi, Rob.
03:45Nice to meet you.
03:46Hi, yes.
03:46Hi, yes.
03:47How's it going?
03:48You all right?
03:48Oh, you look at this guy.
03:50You look great.
03:51Basically, we're trying to, one, find out about Bollywood as a phenomenon and, two, get a part
03:57in something.
03:57Yeah.
03:58Yeah, genuinely.
03:59And the truth is, have you ever seen anybody that looks like this in a Bollywood feature?
04:03No.
04:05No.
04:05What?
04:05What do you mean?
04:06It's unique.
04:07Really?
04:08I'm kidding.
04:08I'm kidding.
04:09I mean, no.
04:10Anybody can become an actor.
04:11Anybody can, like, enter Bollywood.
04:13It's diverse.
04:14So, what's the main differences you've done both between Hollywood and Bollywood, would
04:17you say?
04:18What's the big difference?
04:19Well, I mean, the economics, I think.
04:24Which one's better?
04:25Which one pays more?
04:26Well, I mean, the English side.
04:27Yeah.
04:28Yeah.
04:28Right.
04:29Seriously?
04:29Especially, like, Bollywood sets.
04:30The ones with the songs, 500 dancers.
04:33It gets really crazy on a set, right?
04:34You've got to be really, really, like, zen inside.
04:38So, it's going to be overwhelming and hectic, so we've got to try and be as...
04:41It can be, especially because you're white, so you're going to be a minority.
04:44Yeah.
04:45But I do like attention.
04:47You know what?
04:47You should be in front of the camera.
04:49Like, step one, I think, would be to just get photos.
04:51Okay.
04:52And we take it from there.
04:53So, Ali was going to help us out and let us use his team to get a portfolio of headshots.
04:58Just like the biggest Bollywood stars, we were getting a lookbook for Ali to send to
05:02Mumbai's biggest casting agents.
05:05Part of becoming an actor in any industry is you've got to have a portfolio done so you
05:08can go for castings and stuff like that.
05:10Yeah, very nice.
05:11Yeah, yeah.
05:11We like a bit of that.
05:12It's all good.
05:12I genuinely am quite excited about bringing Rob Beckett to Bollywood.
05:18If we can overcome Rob's inability to dance, his complete inability to connect with any
05:23kind of music and also teach him Hindi, I genuinely think this guy could be massive.
05:29But it was clear that Rob had a long way to go.
05:33Wow.
05:34Are you real?
05:36What does wow mean over here?
05:38Luckily for me, Ali had brought along Bollywood costume designer, Rick Roy, to help style
05:44us.
05:44This is Rick.
05:45Hi.
05:45I think, I mean, we need a lot of help.
05:48Yes.
05:48And maybe we can, like, spice things up.
05:49Yes.
05:50So, I think Copverse is really, really big in Bollywood.
05:53Like, every actor who is, like, trying to make it big, they always do a cop film.
05:58Because that's where all the...
05:58Okay, a cop film.
05:59So, Copverse.
06:01I mean, that's what I'm calling it.
06:02Right, okay.
06:04Copverse is one of Bollywood's biggest film franchises.
06:07And this was the first look Rick was about to try on us.
06:10We have options of names, whatever you're, like, kind of feeling it.
06:13Anyone's that say Paul?
06:15Uh, Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:17I think I'm more of a Rajiv.
06:18It could be Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:19Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:20I'm more of a Rajiv Kumar Singh to me.
06:22Do you get many sort of white cops from South East London in the Indian police force?
06:27Not really.
06:28No.
06:28No.
06:28But I'm not.
06:29I'm an actor and I'm Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:31One important part of the Copverse is to have a moustache only and no beard.
06:38Because cops don't have beard.
06:39You have to shave your fuzz and come back with just a moustache because it's very macho to have a moustache.
06:47We were a cutthroat shave away from entering the Copverse.
06:51Yeah, I'm ready.
06:52Yeah, yeah.
06:53Perfect.
06:54And this was already feeling like a bad idea.
06:57You seem quite nervous.
06:58What I'm nervous about is just looking like a Tamil guy from some exotic, erotic movie from the 70s.
07:06Uh, Rob, on the other hand, with a moustache, I predict unacceptable.
07:10The beards were gone in minutes, but we hadn't dared look in the mirror and the moment of truth arrived.
07:16Right, you ready?
07:17Three, two, one.
07:19Oh my God.
07:20Whoa.
07:21Whoa.
07:23Whoa.
07:24Oh my God.
07:26Why is your cheek so pale?
07:31Are you white?
07:31Rob, Rob, I'm not being funny.
07:32I'm not taking any banter from you about how I look.
07:35What, I...
07:35You genuinely look like you've got something buried under your patio.
07:39I look like a hard man from the 70s in a football team.
07:41You look like a fucking serial killer.
07:43Let's see what you start with the glasses.
07:45That's got a lot worse.
07:48Oh my God.
07:49I look like a fucking Asian Albert Einstein.
07:51Oh, mine's horrible.
07:57I look like Alpesh Einstein.
07:58It was hard to imagine anyone casting us looking like this, but we were only halfway there with our cop-verse look.
08:08Here, this is your shirt.
08:10Oh, thank you.
08:11How are you looking, Rob?
08:12I look mental.
08:13These trousers, I look like they've been painted on.
08:17It was a tight fit, but we were finally ready to reveal our outfits.
08:22Let's see the big reveal.
08:26Ta-da!
08:27Fabulous.
08:31Um, what do you think?
08:33I don't know what to say.
08:35Do you think he looks okay?
08:36Because he looks like he needs a copy of Mein Kampf.
08:41You must have.
08:42Have you got any big trousers?
08:43He looks like one of the biggest defenders of the Aryan race I've ever seen in my life.
08:46Look, I don't think Rob Beckett is an unattractive man.
08:52He's a good-looking guy.
08:53With a moustache, he looks horrible, like horrible.
08:57Glasses off, do you reckon?
08:58I think glasses off for everyone that sees you.
09:01Fuck.
09:02Let's deal with a moustache, okay?
09:04Some people have a moustache that look handsome and hunky.
09:07Some look camp.
09:08Some look like paedophiles.
09:11I'm a paedophile.
09:12Well, no, I'm not, but I look like I'm the paedophile option.
09:16Despite feeling more like a criminal than a cop,
09:18it was time for us to get in front of the camera
09:20and try to sell ourselves as serious Bollywood actors.
09:24Okay, you've got to be intimidated.
09:25Come on, Rob.
09:26Very nice, sir.
09:27Very good.
09:29Yeah.
09:29Fabulous.
09:30Gangster cop.
09:31Oh, wow, Rob, that's amazing.
09:33Rob had smashed his photo shoot, and now it was my turn.
09:37But if I was to stand any chance of getting a role in Bollywood,
09:40I was going to have to put aside all the obvious problems and get into character.
09:43I am Rajiv Kumar Singh.
09:48But despite his best efforts, Rob wasn't fooling anyone.
09:53Rob is supposed to be playing Rajiv Kumar Singh.
09:57The camera guy couldn't keep a straight face.
10:01He looks like somebody that moved to Tyrone under mysterious circumstances.
10:05With a load of headshots already in the bag,
10:12Rick and Ali had one last look for our portfolios.
10:14The traditional romantic lead.
10:17So it's basically a multi-purpose outfit in Bollywood.
10:20You can do this look for, like, celebrations.
10:23You can do it for weddings.
10:24It's all over.
10:25This is why.
10:26This is it.
10:26I don't think this is okay.
10:28Okay, guys, come out.
10:30Let's see what your looks are looking like.
10:35Ooh.
10:38Fabulous.
10:38Yeah, I love it.
10:39Also.
10:40Yep.
10:41Yep.
10:41Perfect.
10:44I'll be honest if you're not sure what I've got on is all right.
10:48See, now I just feel like...
10:50Like what?
10:52I don't know.
10:53It just looks strange, doesn't it?
10:55Look, Ramesh looks sensational.
10:57The colour they gave him really suits his skin tone.
11:00He looks unbelievable.
11:01Ramesh arrives with praise.
11:03I arrive with questions.
11:05Do you know what he looks like?
11:06He looks like he's doing five weeks in Worthing for the panto.
11:10Okay, let's get you in.
11:12So how should we be posing?
11:14Is it like...
11:14Yes.
11:16Could Rob be a romantic lead?
11:18Yes.
11:19If the other character in the relationship was an animal.
11:23Very nice.
11:25There you go.
11:26Have you ever done a white guy before?
11:28Not this fight.
11:31Romantic leads still felt like a long shot for Rob.
11:33But with Rick and Ali's help, we'd managed to complete our portfolios and were one step
11:38closer to breaking into Bollywood.
11:40Oh my God.
11:41Yeah, I think the pictures are done.
11:51That's nice.
11:52That's a good one.
11:53And do you think we've got any potential?
11:54I think so.
11:55We'll edit them a little and send them to the producers.
11:57Why don't you focus on acting lessons?
11:59Yeah, we're up for that, aren't we?
12:00Yeah.
12:01That'll help, I think.
12:02Alright, well look, we'll do that.
12:04But seriously, best of luck.
12:05Great, thanks.
12:06Thanks.
12:07Alright, we'll be in touch.
12:07Thanks, man.
12:08Thank you very much.
12:08Thanks so much.
12:14Rom and I are on a mission to break into Bollywood.
12:16Ta-da!
12:17After learning the tricks of the trade from Bollywood star Ali Fazal.
12:21Oh my God.
12:22We now looked the part and we were ready to up our game.
12:26Why don't you focus on acting lessons?
12:28Yeah, we're up for that, aren't we?
12:29Yeah.
12:30But as we set off from the gateway of India for a spot of sightseeing before school tomorrow,
12:35something was on my mind.
12:37Right, so we've done our photo shoot stuff with the moustache.
12:42Are we keeping this then for the rest of the Bollywood adventure?
12:45I think we sort of have to.
12:46Yeah, we can't go back now.
12:47I can't go clean shaven.
12:48All clean shaven for me is worse.
12:50For me, same.
12:50I think for the rest of this trip, certainly, we're the Tash Bros.
12:53But I think if I'm super confident, people won't question it.
12:57So it's like, oh, you've got a moustache.
12:58Yeah.
12:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.
13:00That feels quite, like, quite defensive.
13:02Not confident.
13:03Sexy.
13:04No.
13:04Powerful.
13:04No, it feels like it's, you've got a chip on your shoulder about it.
13:07OK, we've just met each other.
13:08Peter, I have.
13:08Rob, nice to meet you.
13:09Hey, man.
13:10Oh, you've got a Tash too?
13:11Yeah.
13:11I like it.
13:12OK, yeah, I like yours as well.
13:14Thanks.
13:15I don't like that.
13:16No?
13:17No.
13:18Why not?
13:18How about this?
13:19Oh, you're a sex offender as well?
13:28To kickstart our acting ambitions, the next day we headed into one of India's top drama schools,
13:34Actor Prepares Academy in Mumbai, founded by Bollywood icon Anupam Ker.
13:38With a career spanning over four decades, in acclaimed roles ranging from Bollywood dad
13:44in Dilwalia, Dulhania, Lajianghe.
13:46I am proud of you, my son.
13:48To therapy guru in the Oscar-winning Silver Linings playbook, Anupam's an absolute giant
13:54of world cinema.
13:55Hello.
13:56Hi, hi.
13:57Hi.
13:57And with his school's track record of producing some of India's finest actors, it was the perfect
14:02place to help us on our Bollywood journey.
14:06So when did you start the academy?
14:07About 20 years back, our tagline is, we bring out the actor in you.
14:12Well, that's one of the problems that we've got, I think, if I can speak on behalf of both
14:15of us.
14:15Yes.
14:16We're quite inhibited.
14:18Musical-wise, that's probably our biggest obstacle.
14:21Yeah, that's going to be.
14:21We don't really.
14:22Obstacle?
14:22Obstacle, yeah.
14:23I can't dance.
14:24Okay.
14:25You can't dance?
14:25No.
14:26You've done 500 films?
14:27Yeah, I've danced.
14:28So I go speak to the choreographer and I say, either the camera should be on my feet or
14:34on my face.
14:35Never at the same time?
14:36Never in the body.
14:38So it will be, face will be doing, and the feet will be doing the same.
14:41But together, it will be so difficult.
14:44So as long as you get one?
14:45Yeah.
14:45That is a great tip.
14:48That is a great tip.
14:49That's brilliant.
14:50I think the moment you do not worry about making a fool of yourself, you can act.
14:56Yeah.
14:56Okay.
14:57Especially in today's time, you don't want to be a fool.
14:59So you do a balanced acting where you do not look stupid and you cannot act brilliantly.
15:05Right.
15:05So you are competent, and I think competence is the biggest enemy of brilliance.
15:10Oh, yes, I love this.
15:11This is so good.
15:12What about us?
15:13Do you think our faces are assets?
15:15I think you look very good for a lot of roles.
15:17Even me, because obviously, Bollywood.
15:20I would like to say, yeah.
15:22Really?
15:22So, yeah.
15:23You can be a curious man who is always curious to find out.
15:28So a curious man.
15:29A man who will hide behind a tree and sort of will check out people.
15:31Like a pervert.
15:32Sorry?
15:33Like a pervert.
15:33Sort of like a pervert.
15:34Yeah.
15:35We can train you.
15:36In five minutes, I can make you feel that you can act.
15:39Really?
15:39Yeah.
15:40Well, listen, we are open to learning.
15:42And just be free and go for it and have no fear.
15:45Is that right?
15:46I think you should be ready to make it full of yourself.
15:49You can become a good actor.
15:50Okay.
15:51Okay.
15:52So, to help us loosen up and lose our inhibitions, Anupam was teaming us up with his senior acting
15:58coach, Paresh Parekh.
15:59Yeah, so let's begin with the first lesson of the day.
16:07It's voice work.
16:08Okay.
16:09Voice work?
16:09Ready?
16:10Yeah.
16:10So, just talk about something.
16:13Um...
16:14Have you spoken to Lisa and the kids?
16:15Yeah, uh...
16:17Theo's not very happy with the moustache.
16:20You sort of said you haven't really done that to your face.
16:21Okay, fine.
16:22So, uh...
16:23Can you raise the volume, please?
16:25Yeah, of course.
16:26What's his problem?
16:28I don't know.
16:28I just feel like he finds it embarrassing.
16:30You know, like, I post it up on Instagram and now all of his mates are going, your dad
16:33looks like a nonce.
16:35It's just a bit of an embarrassing, horrible situation.
16:37Okay.
16:37Yeah.
16:37So, now can you raise the pitch?
16:39Yeah, sure.
16:40And so, basically, it's a situation where he sort of finds it difficult because the opinion
16:45of his friends is important to him.
16:47Fine.
16:47So, can you try this?
16:49Yeah.
16:50Do you think the voice is ever going to help with the moustache when he sees this back
16:54and all his friends goes, your dad looks like a pervert but also sounds like a child?
16:59Okay.
17:00I think he'll think that the other person looks much more like a sex offender than he does.
17:04I don't think his voice is helping anyone.
17:06Fine.
17:07Now you are using the false tone of the voice.
17:11Okay.
17:12Yeah.
17:12I want to use your...
17:13I think one of the things that holds me back is inhibition.
17:17It's sort of embarrassment.
17:19I think Rob has got that less.
17:21Rob has got sort of a self-confidence and a self-belief that, in my opinion, exceeds his
17:27talent.
17:28Oi, come here.
17:29I've still got a lot of hope that I am sort of sitting on the great white rhino of Bollywood
17:33and I think that today, if he shows something about himself, I don't have to do this anymore.
17:39I just become Rob's manager and they call him, I don't know, Ghost or something like
17:43that.
17:45And he becomes the biggest thing in the Indian film industry.
17:49That's the big hope.
17:50That's the big white hope.
17:51Paresh had one last exercise to help us lose our inhibitions.
17:56And worryingly, it involved role play and a camcorder.
17:59Okay, let's go to the second exercise.
18:03Okay.
18:04There's a situation.
18:05And you are in bus.
18:08You both are passengers.
18:09Yeah.
18:09You are standing.
18:10And you are singing a song.
18:14Okay.
18:15And suddenly, he bumps to you because driver suddenly braked and you get pissed off.
18:21Okay.
18:22And he says, what can I do when driver is doing this?
18:26Yeah.
18:27Again, you start singing.
18:29Yeah.
18:29And this time, the bumping person is in the opposite direction.
18:33Someone new.
18:34And you are really pissed off.
18:36And now you are shouting at that person.
18:38Yeah.
18:39That person turns out to be a girl.
18:42Right.
18:43And you suddenly smile.
18:44Okay.
18:45It's okay.
18:46Now you are pissed off.
18:48That I bumped to you, you have shouted at me.
18:51And that's a girl?
18:52Yeah.
18:52He's fine with it.
18:53You are smiling.
18:53Yeah.
18:54Prick.
18:55You have to act this in gibberish.
18:57In gibberish?
18:58In gibberish?
18:59Gibberish.
19:07Okay.
19:08Everything in gibberish.
19:09Okay.
19:09You can't a single English word.
19:12Okay.
19:12So you both are standing.
19:14And one, two, three, go.
19:18Saler, lalala.
19:21Lala.
19:23Lala.
19:24Saler.
19:25Balo.
19:26And the.
19:26Balo.
19:27Balo.
19:28Balo.
19:29Balo.
19:30Balo.
19:32Balo.
19:33Balo.
19:34Balo.
19:34Balo.
19:35Balo.
19:36Salam Salam Salam Salam
19:42Oh the bullet
19:44La la la Salam
19:49Samaria what a case of the verdict never day
19:52I'll be the same in a little and I teach you when I get ready for the
19:56time to look at the look at the look at the look at the look at the look at the
20:02I'm sorry, he sounds
20:05I'm his dog
20:20That's a good one
20:22so let's see the the result go watch that what go at you
20:32it turns out paresh was filming us so we could watch back and study our performances
20:39but all i could focus on was how we looked why did he show it back why did you do that
20:46i do not want to watch a video of me inside profile when the old gobble gobble toad face
20:52comes out and watch me and romish talk gibberish i'm half decent straight on to the side fucking
20:58toad boy fuck me it was horrible our profiles are disgusting i didn't know what a beard was for
21:07now i know it's to hide that as for the gibberish thing there's two possible options option number
21:13one it's useful exercise in being able to act without using any words and the other interpretation
21:18is that pressure has some sort of fetish it's very niche fantasy but pressure is incredibly
21:22specific he filmed it i don't know what he's going to do with that he's now left with that footage
21:27anna pam's inhibition course had been an eye-opener but we'd passed and we had the t-shirts to prove
21:36it i actually felt like we learned some stuff today i think there's something that was said
21:40today that i'll keep with me for the rest of my life which is competence is the enemy of brilliance
21:45yes i like that um i like pares a lot and sometimes he'd go boom out of nowhere yeah and i don't know
21:53what that meant yeah that was like and i'm like i just did it back at him yeah is that the right thing
21:57to do no yeah i think so i mean i don't know i don't know what you're asking i don't know indian are
22:01you no probably that's something i keep forgetting what series are we
22:04also he said i look like a pervert when we got you anna pam i know he should be pretty like the
22:10curious man behind a tree oh thanks anna pam thanks anna pam anna pam oh god here we go
22:16and he's cancelled clip it up put it in the trailer he called back to me for anna pam
22:20it's written on me fucking chest
22:22we were in india hoping to land roles as bollywood stars we'd met indian movie legend anna pam care
22:34who'd helped us lose our acting inhibition now all we needed was a film to star in and i just had
22:42some huge news so father yeah um what did i say was like the big thing about us coming here
22:48obviously learn about bollywood but the ultimate dream beyond all dreams be in bollywood be in
22:53bollywood be in a film yeah we've got a text from ali's team yeah we've got a part in a bollywood
23:01movie have we yes right okay the film is a sequel to the successful movie rishto kabatwara which i
23:07remember you talking about a lot you like to division that got the box set it's a drama it's not a box set
23:12it's a film yeah you don't have a box set of a film blu-ray robin romesh will be playing the role of
23:16visitors traveling from a foreign country joining in one of the songs in the film the song will have
23:22the hero and heroine involved as well as about 20 dancers right okay finally and this is the bit i
23:28think you're gonna be very excited about rob will have a line in hindi whoa what let me look at that
23:36uh-oh kyan gada kagreho kyan ga is this allowed i don't know we'll find out we'll find out in the
23:45edit go on kyan gada kari ho which means why are you fighting i'm gonna have to speak to someone who
23:53can speak hindi to find out to say rob 100 that has to i can't just go on and re freestyle that but
23:58listen we're in bollywood baby we're in bollywood no as in we're gonna be in a ball right yeah sorry yeah
24:04this isn't bolly we're now we're in mumbai right okay but where is bollywood then actually is there
24:09a sign there probably is actually i'm not saying it though actually in hindsight probably we should
24:15have done that stress now don't get stressed easy for rom to say he wasn't the one delivering lines
24:20in hindi in a bollywood movie especially because ali had warned me what i was in for it gets really
24:25crazy on a set right especially like bollywood sets you gotta be really really like zen inside
24:31right now zen felt miles off ron was buzzing about our bollywood debut but i was going to bed
24:38worrying i'd be getting cancelled mid-scene
24:46the next day on ali's advice we were traveling east of mumbai into the countryside on a mission
24:52to find some inner peace we were heading to an ayurveda spa to relax ayurveda is a traditional indian
24:59system of medicine focused on balance and well-being bollywood swears by it stars like amita bachan
25:05have promoted books on it and rohit roy has raved about it on social media so if it worked for them
25:11it could get beckett in the right frame of mind for his performance tomorrow rob's sort of pranging out
25:16a little bit about it as he should do because he wouldn't be prepared to be in a movie if it was in
25:20english is there a strong argument that we should spend today doing some acting lessons and learning
25:26rudimentary hindi absolutely but that's not what we're doing we're coming here to get like really
25:30very zen and rather than rob learning the hindi he will become hindi thank you we'd gone for the
25:39ayurvedic taster menu and based on the welcome it wasn't going to be your average spa day thank you
25:45yeah thank you thank you thank you cheers thank you this is what you gotta wear for massage yeah
25:53can i put it around my waist our first treatments were ayurvedic massages in traditional ayurvedic dress
26:03if you undid a loo roll completely and attached a string to it that's what we've got to wear
26:10and then i see him after you finish the treatments you burn that immediately
26:17it's going on there what well i've got three of them on they put three in the room
26:24please romesh looked like a giant baby because he'd made a special loincloth out of his loincloth
26:31absolutely horrendous i was having a treatment called pity chill basically warm oil poured all over me
26:38rob was getting a massage called kashiradara which involved milk
26:48i feel like i'm watching your only face
26:50i feel like you're not trippling out of your mouth
27:06having milk poured all over you sorry he's going to be finding like cottage cheese in his crack
27:12this couldn't look worse he's going to smell like an edam
27:18it's a milky what it looked like was rob's dick had been murdered and they put a shroud over it
27:24for its decency is that nice like massive yeah it's good
27:34my skin cannot be more oil
27:38i'm ready to go in the air fryer
27:42i was feeling a little more zen after the milk massage
27:45but with ropes involved in our next treatment things are about to get a lot more intense
27:50hello hello namaste nice to meet you nice to meet you i'm prabhat nice to meet you i'm prabhat
27:56nice to meet you please you walk into a room that looks like it's somewhere where they'd
28:00extract sort of secrets from you the rope coming from the ceiling you think this might be the last
28:05room i ever walk into you have to lie down face down okay okay prone prone i will put you in position
28:12prabhat's a master in the art of chavuti turumal an ayurvedic technique that means foot pressure
28:18full body deep tissue all done with the feet basically beckett was about to get trampled
28:25i'm a big fan of prabhat but he is using his feet and i'm firmly of the belief that feet should not be
28:32seen they're certainly not for applying oil and rubbing you up and down your body
28:37oh that felt your achilles tendon went between his toes yeah yeah i felt like the tendon was a
28:45credit card and his toes was a machine thinking might use your ass crackers chip and pin in a minute
28:53sphinx position sphinx yeah i'd say there's probably the worst way my body could look
29:00yes my little womble tits hanging down oh my gosh he's using it like a ski slope
29:15you're doing slalom on your bottom of your back face up please
29:22i've seen absolutely everything in profile have you ever looked up at the sun for a second and
29:27you look away and that image is still in your eye that's what it was like with rob's dick and balls
29:33oh no okay no way no what do you think is going to happen now okay okay oh my god
29:54i've never even felt like this before
30:12sorry what the fuck is going on oh my god are you joking
30:19it went like that sort of tweaking his nose with his foot is his foot okay that's it thank you
30:28thank you very much now rob be careful now robbie oh oh don't
30:35i was up please lay down but i'd love to yeah and my foot aversion was about to be put to the test
30:41i don't want to do this it's good to finally get some oil on my skin
30:45i had about three to four minutes where i wasn't completely oiled up from top to bottom so that's
30:51good and it didn't take long for prabhat to turn me into a human doormat to be good for your marathon
30:56training you're supposed to get time on feet not time under feet and as prabhat hit me with the sphinx
31:07and then the ski slope it was only a match of time before the inevitable happened here we go
31:13welcome to the thunderdome oh no what is happening here it comes
31:32close your eyes please okay yeah gladly why are you laughing brother don't forget his nose brother
31:51buy me a drink first brother
31:52okay sir thank you thank you so much that was lovely
32:03thank you thank you thank you thank you so much thank you
32:16having prabhat put his foot on my face felt like the natural end to our ayurvedic journey
32:21but we still had one more treatment to go shiro basti it involved dough a hat and more oil this is
32:29what a pastry turban just never felt so helpless i just don't know what i am anymore i'll tell you
32:34about to be a pie the paste was a mystery until the hats went on it was there to seal them to our heads
32:41so they could pour in the oil it's good actually it's been about seven or eight minutes since i've had
32:46some oil applied we'd been thoroughly oiled and told to sit back relax and enjoy the feeling
32:53i started in a position that means the only way this stays straight up is if i look at your crotch
33:00i have a good look please rob don't rob don't do you like it i'm feeling de-stressed all i can see all
33:15i can't this angle's terrible you're gonna sleep well tonight so we took out it back please
33:20you know what i think would have been a good treatment a lesson in hindi i don't know if that's
33:30right or not it had been a mixed day part relaxing part traumatic robert barely practiced for his role
33:37tomorrow but we ticked ayurveda off the bollywood to-do list all that was left now was to become
33:43bollywood stars we're in india taking on bollywood thanks to our mentor ali fazal we'd somehow ended
33:56up in a film and unbelievably rob had been given a line in hindi kayan gada kagreho kayan god is this
34:05allowed today we were heading north of mumbai to the film's location a set called focus city if you
34:13just said to me at the beginning of this whole thing at the end of the week you are going to be
34:17playing a tourist at focus city in a bollywood film i would say what is focus city but here we are
34:25we're in a bollywood film it's a hell of a day we were here to star in the sequel of rish
34:30tokab atwara 2 which translates as division of relationships
34:38the first film was a big hit a family drama packed with dance numbers so with bollywood fans already on
34:44board expectations were high this film is a sequel to a film that on youtube has got 13 million views
34:57right so this is not rob beckett's smart tv right lots of people actually watch this first up we
35:04were meeting the film's producer mr sharp yeah hi good morning so he could talk us through the scene
35:10it's a song sequence in which uh hero and heroine is having a very sweet fight fight where the heroine
35:20says the hero you bring me the jumka that is the airing the big one then only i will allow you to kiss on my
35:29chick oh so you are watching all this why these people are fighting there is one guy who is selling
35:36earrings yeah you get that airing yeah you go to the heroine and then you have to explain it in one line
35:43in hindi yes yes like he's doing the line he's got this only little word in hindi all right great and
35:52you can take part when the song is going on you can just do so whatever kind okay great yeah you met
35:56my director no no no yeah kitty kitty it's busy hi i'm rob nice to meet you yeah hello he's rob and he's
36:05robin hi nice to meet you yeah it's hot isn't it yeah so he's my director yeah he told you what you
36:12were supposed to do he told you yeah yeah okay brilliant thank you so much thank you so much
36:18looking around the production was big and the thought of rob dancing and trying to speak hindi in
36:24front of everyone was too good to be true i can't wait i'm absolutely buzzing i feel like it's my birthday
36:32while ron was chilling with his coffee i'd hit the google translate panic bar here we go
36:38oh fuck's sake i feel like don king i brought my i brought my prize fighter to focus city
36:45to be in a film you want to speak hindi yeah hell yeah he speaks hindi
36:51cure cure cure
36:53you'll speak as much hindi as you want rob speak some goddamn hindi boy
37:07i'd said my line so many times i didn't even know if it was right anymore
37:13but with the cast and crew gearing up and filming about to start
37:16we got the call to costume and once we put on our tourist outfits the line felt like the least of
37:23my worries so what do you think what we plan again um yeah some sort of tourist i've got a guess what
37:30type um the through line of me being a pervert in this show is not stopping is it no i think you
37:37suit the look i mean i think the the socks and sandals are doing most of the heavy lifted what i want to
37:41know is what are us two on holiday doing well now that's the question didn't it yeah we just we
37:52just go yeah we're a little little trip we've got india cambodia thailand have a look about yeah
37:59feel more welcome over here than a new back at home all right come on should go do it
38:04we had three scenes to shoot that made up one big dance number but we were still trying to
38:12get our heads around the story it's a very confusing narrative we're two tourists let's not get into
38:19specifics of what we're doing how we've come together why we're wearing what we're wearing all of that i
38:24think is makes it a much darker project first we had to watch the loved-up couple have a barney over
38:30a pair of earrings while we stared through a window like a pair of creeps luckily kd was on hand to
38:36guide us through it i'll tell you look each other okay then you'll become look what's going on i'm a
38:41big fan of kd he looks like sherman clump the later years ready ready i'll be here okay you tell me when
38:49i'll say go i love the fact he's very nice to us but then shouts at anyone brown that works on the show
38:54you didn't want to say yeah whatever the user hey so then you um you do this and then you come
39:01now i'll tell you go and then look each other yeah then start dancing okay
39:15look each other wow yeah
39:18the way our little heads pop out i don't know if this is a massive stitch up because at the moment
39:26what it feels like is this is the most mental thing i've ever done
39:31oh of course is that okay you got tired yeah i did get tired
39:36that was longer on it that in the next part of the scene our characters were joined by a bloke and a
39:43scarf who was selling earrings junker that we were going to buy to please the leading lady
39:49and unfortunately for us this meant the start of our big dance sequence
39:57so we were shown the classic bollywood dance move the thump car
40:03and once kd was happy we were ready to go for a take
40:06and once we'd started it didn't stop
40:25i dance more today for those scenes that i have done at every asian wedding i've ever been to
40:40add it together
40:46thankfully the dancing was done but that meant it was time for rob's line
40:50and he wasn't looking good i'm absolutely exhausted already and it's happened jet
40:55it's 39 degrees the geyser said this is an indian heat wave
40:58i can't handle a british heat wave i was melted in the heat and kd was pressuring me to rehearse
41:04i've got no idea what the line is anymore
41:14every single indian actor or producer or director that comes up to me has a different accent and
41:24pronounce it in a different way
41:26i think it's accents you know like in the uk people have got different accents so it's like
41:40i feel like an italian player that signed for liverpool
41:43i've learned english and everyone's a scouser
41:45rob was all over the place hearing the line pronounced 20 different ways and scrambled his
41:50brain kyun jagra karachi ho hello just you don't start don't shout the line at everybody you cannot
41:57get in my head right now show me how you're going to do it that sounds tough it's a bit
42:03Chinese but don't worry about that don't get that in your head about that now we had to deliver in
42:07hindi in front of the entire cast and crew and eventually millions of bollywood fans oh but if he
42:15nailed it he'd be a bona fide bollywood movie star ready rolling roll action here's our big bollywood moment
42:27in rishtok abatwara 2.
42:33um
42:55Jaji
43:03Jaji
43:14Kionja cracker a hero yellow
43:25I'm quite excited I did it in one take which is a bit of a
43:36I'm a one-time wonder
43:40I do think it had something to do with lunch
43:45because they were like right down lunch
43:48our Bollywood adventure was complete
43:55we'd acted danced being oiled and somehow survived it
43:59Robert nailed his line first time which honestly I never thought would happen
44:03but cometh the hour cometh the great white rhino
44:06do you know what Rob I think you've done well here
44:09yeah I think you've done particularly well we had a mission objective
44:13yeah for this episode and we've done it
44:16we've delivered a line of Hindi dialogue in a film
44:18you hate music and dancing you danced for ages
44:22I enjoyed it
44:23you'd let go of your inhibitions
44:24I don't know if the foot massage helped
44:26in future if I'm trying to learn Hindi
44:28I don't think I need to lay naked face down and have a man walk on me
44:31no
44:31never mind on camera
44:33I'll do that in my spare time
44:34no in all seriousness
44:40no you were great though
44:41do you know what I think we should do
44:42what's that
44:43head off
44:44go and find KD
44:45see if we can be in part three
44:46get some of the backstory for these two perverts
44:49maybe
44:50let's get out
44:50jimka in London
44:52I'm so sweaty
44:53is your ass wet
44:54we can't close the episode like that
44:57I'm not opening it with it
44:59come on this guy
45:00jimka
45:02come on
45:05give him one more
45:06come on
45:36Transcription by CastingWords
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