- 19 hours ago
S20 E11 - Sister Wives
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😹
FunTranscript
00:00New Orleans, the property's closed, like, it's free.
00:02I'm like, it's good.
00:03Everything's good.
00:05Another beautiful night.
00:06Here's to Janelle getting a new man.
00:09They are really pushing the dating thing.
00:11They can push.
00:12It doesn't mean I have to act.
00:14You don't have any handsome farmers around us, do you?
00:19I wouldn't tell you.
00:23Maybe you could explain to me what it is that you've
00:28committed us to.
00:28So it's not going to be, like, a speed dating thing.
00:31What's it called?
00:32I don't know.
00:33It's, like, Vegas Girls or something like that.
00:36You're nervous.
00:37Well, because dating is weird.
00:40Dating is weird.
00:41I really have no idea what we've gotten into.
00:44We're just going to have fun.
00:45And if I meet somebody, cool.
00:50After the Sella Coyote pass, I was disappointed.
00:54I've been saying embarrassed.
00:56But the real factor is, is that I felt shame.
01:00I'm in North Carolina right now.
01:03I'm traveling here to meet with Janelle.
01:06It's an effort to just say, have a great, I don't even know how to say it.
01:14I don't even know what to say, really.
01:17I was hurt, and I was angry, and I was betrayed, and I wanted to, I had a feeling of, let's get
01:23even.
01:24I'm on the right path.
01:25I'm looking forward to laying it all out bare with what I've done.
01:32I'm on the right path.
02:02Do we have to do this?
02:10What have we gotten ourselves into?
02:11Do we have to?
02:12So Amber and I came to Vegas.
02:14We came for this speed dating type event.
02:17Hello, ladies.
02:19Hello.
02:20Hi.
02:21Are you guys ready to find love?
02:22Well, yes.
02:23Sure.
02:24So this is kind of like a speed dating type event at a golf location and kind of like a bar
02:32area.
02:33Hopefully there's about an equal amount of girls and guys.
02:35I haven't seen that yet, but maybe, maybe it'll happen.
02:38Okay.
02:39So you're going to scan the QR code.
02:40Okay.
02:41It'll have you fill out a questionnaire.
02:43So around 8.45 or so, we'll break you into some smaller groups, and then it'll do another
02:49countdown, and you're going to get the match that it thinks is your best match based on
02:52the answers that you put into there.
02:53That's a really long time from now.
02:55Uh, yes.
02:56So we're supposed to mingle with random people?
02:59Yes.
02:59For over an hour.
03:00That's what the liquid courage is for.
03:02Okay, got it.
03:03We're going to go far in here.
03:06I'm nervous.
03:07We both are.
03:08Not quite sure what to expect.
03:11We're just doing it.
03:13Here we go.
03:14Here we go.
03:17Now we have to answer these questions.
03:19Okay.
03:20Flirting is a form of cheating.
03:22Yes.
03:24Strongly disagree.
03:25Strongly agree.
03:27I agree.
03:27Yeah, I definitely think that if you're flirting with somebody, and you're in a relationship,
03:33I mean, you shouldn't be doing that.
03:36I think flirting in a plural relationship is, like, you need to be careful with it, and
03:42you need to actually nurture all of your relationships if you're wanting to flirt with somebody in front
03:48of somebody else.
03:49If one wife is not secure, and you're out there flirting with the other wife in front
03:54of her, that's just rude.
03:56You know, Cody was naturally warm and was naturally demonstrative.
04:04You know, that was just what it was.
04:07You know, it was plural marriage.
04:08It was what we were living.
04:09And I never thought it was a good idea to hide it anyway.
04:12But that was something they had established before I even came along.
04:16Um, I mean, Cody always had little things that he would do that would, to flirt with us all,
04:21and didn't, was normal, didn't bother me.
04:24Yeah.
04:25He'd do a little wink or something, you know, and I guess sort of like a little flirt with
04:30us in front of each other.
04:31And it didn't really ever bother me.
04:33I mean, that's part of plural marriage.
04:35Everything pretty much was like, when you're with everybody, you're classy.
04:41You know, you didn't really do stuff like that.
04:43That's like, that'd be like a polygamous family killer, I would think, you know, to be all
04:47like that.
04:48Okay.
04:49Next question's going to be your favorite.
04:51I prefer kinky sex.
04:53Wait, wait, I, what?
04:57Yep.
04:58Mmm.
05:01What'd you put?
05:02What'd you put?
05:03One.
05:05I mean, to be fair, I wouldn't know, but there's that.
05:09Okay.
05:10When you know, you would change your answer.
05:12I feel bad because I know that these days with dating, it's very complicated.
05:20It's not what it used to be.
05:21You know, the smartphone has just totally annihilated that whole thought process.
05:25I feel bad for people that are having to go through this process now.
05:29You're in.
05:30Keep an eye on your text.
05:31When your host runs the algorithm, you'll get your match from this number.
05:35Yay.
05:37This is weird.
05:39Why?
05:40Where are we going?
05:41I don't know.
05:42I don't know.
05:43Let's walk.
05:44I definitely go in with low expectations.
05:47And then if something happens, great.
05:49You know?
05:50What about the guy there looking at his phone?
05:57Not for me.
05:58For you.
05:59No, I don't think so.
06:03I wanted to wait.
06:04You know, maybe not everybody was there yet.
06:07Maybe other people were going to show up.
06:09There is this one guy here who's got his eye out for that girl.
06:12Yeah.
06:14100%.
06:14I saw him walk in and he was like, yep, I know who I want.
06:19I mean, there's a decent amount of people.
06:24Definitely the majority are women.
06:25I was kind of hoping that there would be more men and maybe more men that I would be interested
06:34in.
06:34But at the same time, like, this is what dating is about.
06:38This is dating.
06:39And I don't know if, I mean, I haven't dated since I was a teenager.
06:44But I think the dating scene is just kind of tough for, I think it's just tough all around.
06:51Are we just being party poopers?
06:54Maybe.
06:55Are we being too picky?
06:56Maybe.
06:58Are we, are we closed off?
07:02I see nobody of interest at all for me or for you.
07:07I don't either.
07:08I see nobody.
07:10I feel like I get to be picky.
07:12You know, and I get that, like, I'm not going to find, like, the perfect person that checks
07:20all the boxes.
07:22And I don't think the perfect person exists.
07:24But the perfect person for me exists.
07:26And that's, that's who I'm looking for.
07:28So I think I get to be picky.
07:42I'm here in North Carolina so that I can meet up with Janelle.
07:49I'm basically just following through with my plans for apology to my ex-wives.
07:56And I'm willing to accept that it might happen with rejection.
08:01And I might have to just do my best to stay the course.
08:04I don't want to fight.
08:06I just want to apologize.
08:07You know, since Cody first called me and said, I want to come meet with you, I thought,
08:15why?
08:16Like, I mean, why now?
08:18You know, and I think that was part of the reason I was like, well, I'll go see.
08:23I'm curious what you have to say, but is this going to be even for real?
08:29Hi.
08:30Hi.
08:30How are you?
08:31Good.
08:32Are you feeling healthy?
08:33Yeah.
08:34Good.
08:34Good.
08:35Nice to see you.
08:35Thanks for meeting with me.
08:36I appreciate it.
08:37Nice.
08:40Thanks.
08:44I guess, you know, I saw Cody in person when we all met up at Coyote Pass, and that was
08:48so awkward.
08:48We didn't really talk to each other.
08:50It was just awkward.
08:51Robin was there, and that makes the dynamic really weird.
08:55Cody feels like he has to run interference and protect Robin and, like, I don't know,
08:58whatever.
08:59I don't know whatever.
09:00Like, it was so awkward and disjointed when we all met up at the property.
09:05And this is just he and I.
09:06There's no other outside parties.
09:08There's no politics.
09:09Have you eaten here before?
09:11I have.
09:12It's really good.
09:12Yeah.
09:13Awesome.
09:14Yeah.
09:15So.
09:16Well, good choice then.
09:18Yeah, like, um, it's, like, people that I know like this place, and so they recommended
09:23it.
09:23Oh, okay, cool.
09:24And I'm like, when you said this, I'm like, okay, turn.
09:25Yeah.
09:26Sure.
09:26All right.
09:28The town, it's all quaint.
09:29I wore a jacket because I couldn't see the humidity, assuming that it would be a little
09:34bit high.
09:35Yeah.
09:35But it seemed cold because all the weather was pretty cool.
09:38Yeah, we've had an unusual year.
09:40We have.
09:40Like, it's cool.
09:41Yeah.
09:42So that's, that's great.
09:48Uh, this is so awkward, but even if you have to start out with the weather, you've got to
09:55start out with some conversation to break a little bit of ice.
09:59You can't just jump into something, especially as heavy as an apology.
10:02I don't want to talk to Cody ever again.
10:13Cody contacted me and wants to have a conversation.
10:17I need to know what the motive is, which is so sad to admit.
10:21I literally knew Cody for two months at the time that we got engaged.
10:26There's no way I would ever do that again.
10:32This is the weirdest experience.
10:44You know what?
10:45Golfing has never been my thing, right?
10:48I mean, I've done mini golf and I think mini golf is a lot of fun.
10:51I don't know.
10:52I'm not good at golf and so I'm not going to go up with a bunch of people that I'm not
10:55comfortable with and like do something that I look stupid doing either.
10:59So look.
11:00I'm not trying to discount my 30 years of marriage, but I know what I want and I know
11:16what I don't want based on experiences that I've had.
11:21I literally knew Cody for two months at the time that we got engaged.
11:25We knew each other for six months at the time that we got married.
11:30You know, like we came from a religious culture that promoted that for sure and so it was
11:36normal for us, but there's no way I would ever do that again.
11:42All right, everybody.
11:43It's the moment that you've all been waiting for.
11:49In a few seconds, you are about to get a text message to your phone.
11:54You will get your match.
11:57Woo!
11:58I, you know, it's, I think it's going to be interesting to see if they even match me
12:04with somebody, um, just based on this questionnaire that maybe they will, maybe they won't.
12:10I don't know.
12:10But it doesn't feel like a speed dating event at all.
12:22Did you get one yet?
12:23No.
12:24Yeah.
12:25I think the structure of the speed dating event that I went to up in Salt Lake was so much better.
12:31Tell me about yourself.
12:32Are you, um, how long have you been single?
12:35Single, two years.
12:36Two years.
12:36I have a dog.
12:38Nice.
12:38I have a child.
12:40I'm really glad that I met Ron at the other event.
12:43Um, he and I have a really cool connection.
12:45But this is just the world that I'm living in right now.
12:50You know, the dating scene is weird.
12:54You know, it's like, sometimes it's going to be fun.
12:58Sometimes I'm going to be interested in a guy and he's not going to be interested in me.
13:02Sometimes vice versa.
13:04You know what I mean?
13:04Like, it's just, it just is what it is.
13:09Matches are here.
13:15I didn't end up getting matched with anybody.
13:22And I'm okay with that because I didn't see anybody that I wanted to be matched with.
13:28So, it, it was a win.
13:34I don't know what to do now.
13:36Now we've raced early lead.
13:38Okay.
13:39I think we're out.
13:43No, I'm not disappointed.
13:45I think this is just the process.
13:46I think this is the game that I'm in right now, but I'm up for the adventure because I do want to find my person, you know?
13:57You know, they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and I'm definitely leaving this experience here.
14:05And we'll just have to find a better version next time.
14:09We live where there's a pickleball court.
14:25Christine's like, let's go play.
14:28She thinks she can beat me.
14:30It's on.
14:33Hey, cheater, behind the line.
14:36You have to start from here?
14:37Uh-huh.
14:38So, pickleball is like this rage.
14:40It's this rage.
14:40It's easier than tennis, and it's not bad.
14:42It's okay.
14:43I've really honestly never played it before.
14:45I have tried so many different sports, and I'm terrible at all of them.
14:49All sports.
14:51You have sunglasses, you cheater.
14:53How is wearing sunglasses cheating knowing the elements?
14:57That's not cheating.
14:58That's preparing for battle.
15:04Out.
15:05So, that was one point for you.
15:07Point of me.
15:07You know why you're not good at this game?
15:10Why?
15:10Because you can't cheat.
15:12Oh, my God.
15:13You know what, ass ?
15:13I love to trash talk.
15:18Four.
15:19Do you have a hole in that pedal?
15:21Check it.
15:21Do you have a hole in your mouth?
15:23It gets in their head.
15:25Then they can't win.
15:26So, if I'm cheating that way, hey, that's part of the game.
15:30No, I swear.
15:31David, God!
15:32I hate sports.
15:36David can aim.
15:40I swear to the love, you're getting it.
15:42Go get it.
15:43You get it.
15:44He can aim where he hits the ball, and he is hitting it out there on purpose, because he likes to just get me worn out.
15:50That's his tactic.
15:51Who's the cheater now?
15:52Oh, that was out.
15:54No, that was it.
15:54Damn it to hell.
15:55David, can you go that way?
15:57Can you aim that way?
16:00Hey, I just know how to angle the ball right through that door opening there to let her go chase him.
16:06Let's do the pump chest.
16:08Ready?
16:08That hurts.
16:11David won.
16:13David won.
16:14No one is surprised.
16:15He's never played pickleball either, so I thought that it would be less of a big, huge gap between the winner and the loser.
16:23Good job, babe.
16:24That was awesome.
16:24So Cody reached out to me and wanted us to have, like, a conversation.
16:33Like, Olive Branch, Benevolence was in there.
16:36I was completely shocked when Cody reached out.
16:39It came out of absolutely nowhere.
16:43Janelle told me that Cody reached out to her.
16:45I'm like, well, you know, how are you feeling about that?
16:47And she's like, well, I just know, I don't know why.
16:49You know, I don't know what the agenda is, but apparently there's, like, an Olive Branch or something.
16:53And I'm like, I don't know.
16:55But she didn't know.
16:56It just came out of nowhere for her as well.
16:59I feel like I have so much anxiety today.
17:01Just so much anxiety today.
17:04Why?
17:04I don't want to have a, I just feel so hypocritical, but I don't want to talk to Cody ever again.
17:11I just don't want to.
17:13David, I don't want to.
17:14But why?
17:15Because it was brain damage for so many years.
17:19When Cody first reached out, I was like, no.
17:21No, I'm not going to go.
17:22That's ridiculous.
17:23I don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth.
17:25Why would I put myself in that situation?
17:27No.
17:29Like, the last conversation that we had together, last several conversations we've had, haven't been great.
17:37Man, just a knife in the kidneys over all these years!
17:41Like, every single time, they just turn around and bite me in the butt.
17:48Why, why, why, why, why?
17:51You got to realize that people do change.
17:54Even though we don't ever think they will, they will.
17:57Where's the proof of the last time that I heard him talking about me, he was mean.
18:00I need to know what the motive is, which is so sad to admit.
18:05But before I agree to have a conversation with Cody, why?
18:08I think the meanest thing that I did was I said, I didn't love you.
18:19That wasn't true.
18:21We used to be lovers.
18:24And we used to really like being around each other.
18:28I wanted to fly out here and meet with you.
18:45Basically, I just wanted to come and say that I apologize.
18:52Wow.
18:53All right.
18:53Yeah.
18:55Oh, I have a list.
18:57I just love to apologize for, the first thing is I want to kind of go backwards.
19:04I want to apologize for just being so angry and so bitter over the family breakup.
19:15And just, nobody deserved to have me be that angry.
19:21Wow.
19:22Thanks.
19:23Yeah, I kept thinking, I don't know who this guy is.
19:26I used to always tell everybody, I'm like, this is not the guy that I was married to forever.
19:31Like, you know what I mean?
19:32This, yeah.
19:33So.
19:34Yeah.
19:34I, you weren't the only one saying that.
19:37The person I would see speaking all these things publicly, I'm like, I don't know who that guy is.
19:43I still don't recognize him.
19:45It's like, again, like, as somebody I've seen that I used to know a long time ago, lots of pieces that I recognize, lots of common things that we can remember together.
19:52But I don't, I don't recognize him.
19:54He lives a completely different life, it feels like now.
19:57So do I.
19:57I didn't, I never saw this coming in a million years, right?
20:01Like, like when the family fell apart, I was really, I mourned more the loss of the ideal of what we were trying to do, right?
20:07I understand that.
20:08Like, I just, we had that ideal.
20:10Like, when we all got together and we were going to raise the kids, and thank goodness the kids are all still pretty much their siblings, really, you know?
20:17And that was one of the biggest things that we did accomplish.
20:19We had this idea, this whole ideal, right, of how it was going to be.
20:23Like, I think when I finally left Cody, I thought about the family so much more than our relationship for many, many, many years.
20:31I think he and I especially really held that ideal of the family, like this family unit thing that would work out.
20:38And I think maybe I lost track of our relationship, and it might have been detrimental, really.
20:42I probably should have been focused a little bit more on our relationship and not so much the family.
20:45Well, aren't you glad that I was angry?
20:48Well...
20:49Let me tell you why, okay?
20:50It's a compliment to you.
20:52If I'd have been apathetic, it would have meant you weren't important.
20:57Yeah.
20:57And my anger and my bitterness and my, I didn't ever love her, that was all from attachment.
21:04Yeah.
21:06We used to be lovers, and we used to really like, I think we liked, being around each other.
21:15And I'm in a space now with this apology where I'm not looking back at my past and going, I want to burn that to the ground.
21:24Instead, I'm looking back at my past like, that was really cool.
21:28We were part of something special.
21:29I think the meanest thing that I did was I said, I didn't love you.
21:41That wasn't true.
21:43That was a lie from the perspective of pain.
21:46I knew, I knew it.
21:49I knew that you loved me.
21:51I did.
21:51Like, I know that we had a great relationship.
21:57And I didn't understand.
21:59Like, I was like, okay, whatever.
22:00But I knew it.
22:01I knew.
22:04Thanks for making that easy.
22:05Yeah, I knew.
22:07And I, it was fine.
22:08Like, I knew.
22:10Because I knew, I knew how it was for all those years.
22:14You know what I mean?
22:15But I knew that we, I knew that you loved me.
22:17Yeah.
22:18So.
22:22Yeah, just because I've not had any kind of real emotional connection with him like this for a long time.
22:29I, I'm like, where is this going?
22:31I don't know.
22:31Do you know what I mean?
22:34At one point, I thought, wow, you're really bringing it on heavy.
22:38I'm like, if you're going to ask for some sort of reconciliation, I kept thinking.
22:43I, it wouldn't have made any sense, but he was just being so intense and so, like, trying to connect with me emotionally.
22:48And I'm like, I just didn't know why.
22:51Like, I didn't, I just couldn't think of any reason why.
22:59How would you react if one of the ex-wives wanted to return?
23:05Return to the family?
23:06To the family.
23:09Uh, uh, I, I mean, like, what?
23:17Really?
23:20I would be very surprised.
23:23I, I don't want to even answer this because I'm just like.
23:26Okay.
23:27It, it, yeah.
23:29So making me sad right now.
23:36I'm sorry.
23:37No, because you like just opened this little portal of hope and I'm just like, I didn't even think of that.
23:43And now I'm just like, what if, and I'm going down that road.
23:46I can't, I can't just, I got to move away from that because I'll just, I'll fall apart and I can't be on this set.
23:53Okay.
23:53Okay, I just.
23:59Hope is dangerous sometimes.
24:02This is the new office and I like it.
24:23Amber and I have something we need to discuss with Jen.
24:27It's going to be very uncomfortable for Jen.
24:30But sometimes that's what friends do is make friends uncomfortable.
24:35Hi.
24:36How are you doing?
24:37Hi.
24:37I'm great.
24:39Good.
24:40How are you guys?
24:41Better than you.
24:42Chipper.
24:43We're peachy.
24:45Better than you.
24:45So Jen's husband has been fighting cancer for a couple of years, but this year it's been definitely more intense because he's gotten into like all the radiation and all the surgeries and now he's moving into another treatment that's going to help the recovery of his leg.
25:06And, you know, so there's a lot that has been going on, so we wanted to give you an update, though, of what we're going to do for the fundraiser.
25:16We have a plan.
25:19We are so excited about this, Jen.
25:21Thank you, guys.
25:22Amber and I have decided that we are going to do a fundraiser for her.
25:27And that kind of thing makes Jen very uncomfortable.
25:32Accepting help and being in a place where she needs help, she doesn't feel like she needs it, but, you know, this is what we can do.
25:38You know, we can't do anything about the cancer, but we can help alleviate the financial burden.
25:44So we'll do a bike ride.
25:46We'll just do a loop around town.
25:47Okay.
25:48But we are putting out there that people can rent bikes from your shop.
25:52Okay.
25:53So that's another way they can support you is to come and rent bikes and stuff.
25:58Hopefully that will bring people to your shop.
26:00They can see what you guys offer there, too.
26:02So that'll be good.
26:04And then we'll do a breakfast out here on the front lawn.
26:11As we've been planning this event, you know, I've been telling people about it.
26:14I texted all my sisters, told them about it.
26:16I've also mentioned it to Ron, and he's going to be coming down for it.
26:20Hello.
26:23So, how's it going?
26:25Good.
26:26Yeah.
26:26Good so far.
26:27Have you done this before?
26:28Never in my life.
26:30I met Ron months ago at the speed dating event.
26:33So ever since then, he and I have just stayed in touch.
26:36We've hung out.
26:37We've just become friends, and we're just having fun getting to know each other.
26:42This will actually be the first time that Ron is down here in Parowan to see me and in my space, and I'm kind of excited about it.
26:53It'll be kind of cool.
26:54You okay with this?
27:02You know, like, you are so loved.
27:04I hate this from you.
27:12Sorry.
27:13Your glasses are in the way.
27:16She's very uncomfortable with it.
27:21She doesn't love this.
27:24You know what?
27:24Maybe the lesson that you're going to take out of this, Jen, is to accept support.
27:28You give it all the time.
27:30Now it's your turn to learn how to accept it.
27:33Okay, so I've been a bastard for about three years about this whole breakup.
27:51Four years, all right?
27:53There's some mistakes I made in plural marriage specifically.
27:58I don't know that she was expecting.
27:59I didn't tell her I was coming to apologize.
28:01What I offered her was an olive branch, and that was it.
28:05And so, well, an olive branch, well, that's a symbol of peace.
28:08Let's see what he's got, you know?
28:11When you and I got married, I remember this affection that we shared.
28:19And this really made me question plural marriage pretty hard.
28:23I wish I would have seen the need for you and I to protect our special place.
28:31If I would have understood that, I think it would have been a lot safer for you.
28:41I feel like I put you in harm's way and that it didn't step up to protect you.
28:49When Janelle and I got married, I didn't feel like we had a lot of room, space with each other.
29:03We didn't know each other that well when we got married.
29:08We weren't good communicators, but we started out with a tenderness.
29:12We started out with a sweetness.
29:13And for that, and the fact that I didn't protect you, like...
29:22We didn't know.
29:23We didn't have no idea.
29:24There was no book or anything advising us.
29:28It wasn't, but I, I, my mistake in just not being brave enough, man enough, strong enough.
29:36Because I know you didn't feel safe in that space and you were probably thinking to yourself a lot,
29:42I made a huge mistake marrying this guy.
29:45There were some things that happened through the years that I kind of, well, there were things that happened,
29:52especially that first year or two, that I kind of wish he would have stood out for me as much as he maybe,
29:59by default, sort of took the other position, you know.
30:05Mary and I have very different personalities.
30:08We just clash.
30:09Like, I don't, we would never be friends, right?
30:12I never would.
30:13We just are so very different.
30:15So add that to the fact that there was a lot of, of jealousy and insecurity and stuff that we were working through,
30:23and it just was not, it was not good.
30:26I, I have an experience, um, where I was going off to the mountain to log,
30:33and you were sobbing, and you were saying,
30:36do you love me?
30:37Do you love me?
30:38Do you love me?
30:40I just didn't realize that you weren't feeling safe.
30:43I've thought about that scene in my mind, that scenario where you were there, and I have just felt ashamed because you deserved to feel safe in that relationship, and I failed that.
30:55So I was pregnant with Logan, and he was on the road. He was a route sales guy. And so his time at home was very, like, there was a lot of, he, his time at home was limited.
31:05And I think he was trying so hard to, like, be a family that I think we sort of, again, lost track of who we were as just a couple.
31:15Yeah, I mean, I was the, obviously, the first plural wife, so there's a lot that comes with that.
31:22And I think over the years, I just sort of learned to just keep the peace, and I lost a lot of my identity, like I did.
31:29I think I had to sort of emotionally close down to survive in those early years, and I think we just never got that back.
31:36So there's been some healing for me for him to say those things about those early years, which were really, really, really not pretty.
31:46The, um, well, I think the experience was much harder than you thought it was going to be.
31:55Yeah, I think I went in pretty idealistic.
31:57Yeah, and if I, once again, if I would have protected you, if I would have made you safe in that space, if you would have felt like I had your back.
32:06Yeah, I, yeah, our relationship, yeah, we might have not.
32:09It would have made a lot of difference.
32:10Not have struggled as much as we did in those early years, you know what I mean?
32:13Yeah, and I always, and that's an ache in my heart that I have felt four or five years.
32:17We always had a really good relationship as far as, like, being able to talk to each other.
32:29I think we still do care for each other.
32:31I mean, like, how can you not?
32:33I spent so many years married to him.
32:35I just think there is always a level of connection when you spend that much time married.
32:42If Cody started to be mean or anything like, or aggressive towards me or anything like that, David, oh my God, he'd become unglued.
32:53He wants to have a relationship.
32:55I just don't think he knows quite how to.
32:58If you don't start having a relationship with your kids now, down the road when you need them, they're not going to be there.
33:12Do you think Cody wants to meet up to talk crap on you?
33:17No, he said that he wants to extend an olive branch.
33:22I just don't trust that.
33:23I just don't trust him.
33:25No, I haven't told Cody whether or not I'm going to meet up with him at all.
33:28I'm not 100% going yet.
33:30So why?
33:31Why would I do that?
33:32I'm not going to trust anything that comes out of his mouth, so.
33:36He's just going to be mean.
33:37He's just mean.
33:38It's years of him being mean and putting me down and making me feel less than.
33:43I'm nauseous.
33:43I'm already nauseous thinking about it.
33:44My stomach's already upset thinking about it.
33:47But you have done so much in your life in the last, what, three years?
33:51Uh-huh.
33:52Look where you're at now.
33:53Yes.
33:54You're a very independent woman.
33:55Yes.
33:56I've seen it in you.
33:57I watch what you can do, and things will be better because it's you and I there.
34:01Okay.
34:03And it will be fine.
34:05I promise you.
34:06David's always been pushing for more communication, and he's like, and what do you want more than
34:13anything?
34:14And I'm like, oh, for my kids to have a better relationship with their dad.
34:17And he goes, okay, then you have to show them how to have a good relationship with him.
34:23See, he's right with this, too.
34:24It just sucks.
34:27You didn't marry him because he was a terrible guy.
34:30No, he was great.
34:31He was a great guy.
34:31But times change, and things change.
34:34People change, and people start going separate ways.
34:36Yeah.
34:37Everybody wants to keep living in the past.
34:39No.
34:39And the past will never make you go to the future.
34:42So I need to think about it.
34:43This isn't an olive branch.
34:44This is a peace talk.
34:45That's a peace talk.
34:46This is an honor to need an olive branch from him.
34:49Let's just have to be a peace talk.
34:50Let's just move on.
34:51It doesn't matter.
34:52Things were said.
34:53Yeah.
34:54They're just going to move on, and what can we do to make this better for our kids?
34:57And for us to be in the same room, too, because if we're going to all do family reunions like
35:01I wanted and get together like I wanted, this needs to happen.
35:04But I'm not going to be in that mosh pit, okay?
35:07Cody could be in that mosh pit.
35:08You don't want to be in the dancing mosh pit?
35:09No.
35:10I'll just tackle people.
35:11Okay.
35:12Okay.
35:14That sounds good.
35:16I've decided to leave.
35:18I'm going to leave Cody.
35:19When I first was leaving Cody, I remember, like, there were a couple of conversations
35:25where I'd be like, look, I'm sure that we could all get together at some point, you know,
35:30and have a family reunion, you know, once a year or something like that.
35:33And everyone kind of looked at me like I was a fool.
35:36But getting the kids together would be an awesome thing.
35:39I don't need to see the adults, but the kids need to get together for sure.
35:46If you want to have a reunion, a family, and I'm all for it.
35:48I have zero, I'm not jealous, I'm not insecure about them all having to get together,
35:55because my main focus on is the kids having a good relationship with everybody.
35:59If you don't start having a relationship with your kids now, down the road, when you
36:03need them, they're not going to be there.
36:06I tell you, don't let people walk all over you.
36:08No, I won't.
36:09So, there you go.
36:11I won't.
36:14No, it's not going to be like it was before.
36:16I mean, I wouldn't allow it.
36:17I wouldn't put up with it.
36:17And David, oh, my God, he'd become unglued.
36:20If Cody started to be mean or aggressive towards me or anything like that, no, no.
36:24God, David, no, he wouldn't allow that.
36:27But I wouldn't either.
36:29He wants to have a relationship.
36:31I just don't think he knows quite how to.
36:33No, I don't need to talk about anything with Cody.
36:36I would love to see him have a better relationship with his kids.
36:39If he's extending an olive branch here, we'll really then have a better relationship with
36:44my kids, you know?
36:45Put them first.
36:47I love you.
36:48Love you, too.
37:01Did you ever feel like our breakup was just inevitable?
37:06By the time it happened, I didn't see that we were ever going to turn around.
37:10Okay.
37:11But, you know, I mean, I was really ready to move on.
37:15So Cody and I, as any relationship does, has had, like, ups and downs.
37:19And some of our lows were pretty low.
37:21And we always managed to come back.
37:23You stay and talk.
37:24I'm done listening to you.
37:25You stay and talk.
37:27Uh, no.
37:28I'm not going to because you're not listening.
37:30You're not listening to me.
37:32And I'm not going to.
37:33Okay, so we're done?
37:33Goodbye.
37:34F*** you.
37:36The last time, I didn't want to reconcile.
37:39I didn't have any desire.
37:41The kids were definitely older.
37:43I didn't need the family's financial support as much.
37:47Like, it just, it just, there wasn't a lot of reasons to work through it.
37:51I feel like we've needed an olive branch, the entire family.
37:55And Janelle, you get the high honor in being the person I felt the safest with
38:00to start offering that olive branch.
38:03Oh, we did, we had a good, we had a, we had a great, like, like, I, I'm grateful for what we had.
38:10Yeah.
38:10I really am.
38:13Yeah.
38:14Thank you for being cool about this.
38:16I'm glad you came.
38:17Make it easy.
38:20Like, it was a great relationship.
38:21I still care about him.
38:23And I think he still cares about me.
38:24But I don't, he's not in my life and I'm not going to be in his life.
38:28And there's nothing there now.
38:31I wish he had a better relationship with the children.
38:33Because then, you know, then there would be a little bit more cohesion for the family.
38:38But I don't know.
38:39That's not, that's a long ways away, I suspect.
38:42I was thinking, though, Garrison can qualify, I think, for a military headstone.
38:48And I think he would love that.
38:50Because the military was a big part of his, like, what he loved, right?
38:53Okay.
38:54Yeah, he'd like him.
38:55So it's a matter of filing paperwork.
38:57Yeah, and I've got half of it done.
38:59I mean, I guess if you wanted to come up and meet me there, we can do that.
39:02So would it just be you and I going there to place the headstone?
39:05I'm okay.
39:05It doesn't have to be a big deal.
39:06Yeah, let's do it.
39:08We'll both go up there.
39:09Okay.
39:09I mean, that's fine.
39:10Like, we can just meet there or something, you know what I mean?
39:12Yeah.
39:13All right.
39:15You know, I didn't know what to expect coming.
39:18I'm grateful for the experience and I'm grateful he came.
39:21It's been healing to hear some of those things.
39:25That's a great idea.
39:25Thanks for meeting with me.
39:26I really appreciate it.
39:29I think it went very well.
39:32Chanel was very gracious.
39:33She was very kind.
39:34I felt like she made it easy to do this apology.
39:41Like, this is a pilgrimage and I have planned it for so long and I've needed this for four years.
39:50Boy, there's a lot of pressure.
39:52It's windy.
39:54The door wasn't easy to open.
39:56All right.
39:57Anyway, thank you.
39:58Thanks for meeting with me.
39:59I really appreciate it.
40:00We'll see you.
40:00All right.
40:01See you later.
40:01All right.
40:04Yeah, I've got two more wives to visit with.
40:10I get a little bit nervous thinking that it could go really, really wrong.
40:18This is my journey.
40:20This is something I am required to do.
40:23My hope is for them to receive it well.
40:26And if they don't, then we'll go back to God and say, what next?
40:32Do I do it again?
40:34I don't know.
40:41Next time on Sister Wives.
40:43Is there any part of you that would ever go back to Cody?
40:46I think at some point, I thought, what if he, like, what if we worked this out?
40:57This is the first time that Ron's been down here to Parowan and meeting all my friends.
41:05How is he going to act?
41:07It's weird because we haven't really had a conversation since I left.
41:11Not really.
41:13Cody reached out to me and wanted to chat.
41:17I apologize.
41:19Here's the huge one.
41:21For saying I didn't love you.
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