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Rob and Romesh Vs Season 8 Episode 1
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#Rob and Romesh
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00:00Rob and I are back.
00:06It looks a bit like you're my guide.
00:10Throwing ourselves into the biggest challenges.
00:12Check, check, check.
00:15With the help of the world's best.
00:17You still own the office.
00:20Together we're going on a journey of discovery.
00:23No, no, no.
00:25To find out what we like.
00:27Oh wow, Rob, that's amazing.
00:29And what we don't.
00:30This feels like it's all going to come out.
00:33This week, we're heading to Mumbai.
00:36Right, relax, relax, relax.
00:38Home to one of the world's biggest film industries, Bollywood.
00:42Action.
00:43We'll be getting help from some of its biggest stars.
00:46Have you ever seen anybody that looks like this in a Bollywood feature?
00:49No.
00:49As we try to earn roles in a blockbuster Bollywood movie.
00:53So here we are, Rob.
01:04Mumbai.
01:05Oh, wow.
01:06It's quite overwhelming, isn't it?
01:08Oh my God, it's so close.
01:10Oh, I'm really impressed.
01:12Right, relax, relax, relax.
01:13It's my first time in India.
01:16I'd say there's a lot to take in, Rob.
01:19Yeah.
01:20It's an unusual decision to dress as the empire when you've done it.
01:27It looks a bit like you're my guide.
01:28You've been here before.
01:33Any tips you'd give me to that blend in?
01:35I've been here once.
01:37Lasted more than once.
01:38Why?
01:41TV work.
01:41Right.
01:42Why did you pause?
01:46Also, Rob, I'm a bit worried.
01:48Yeah, go on.
01:48I've had a bit of an upset for stomach.
01:51Since you've got here?
01:52No, before I got here.
01:53Did you have, like, a warm-up curry before you came?
01:55No, no, I actually had a cheese and pickle sandwich before I left.
01:59Do you know what?
02:01I could imagine how this went.
02:03Lou, go to India tomorrow.
02:05Can you, can I have the whitest thing in the world?
02:08I did.
02:09Fill me up with bread and dairy, babe.
02:12I'm off to India.
02:18Bollywood.
02:19Yeah.
02:19The ideal scenario is, Rom, to complete this mission, we get a part in a Bollywood movie.
02:23That's got to be the aim, yeah?
02:24Yeah.
02:25I know this sounds weird, but I think you've got a better chance of that than I have.
02:30Really?
02:30Because you've got, like, more of a unique look.
02:33I do feel like this is the show I get cancelled on.
02:35Yeah.
02:36Me attempting Bollywood.
02:37The only thing I would say is, like, on TikTok, which is banned over here, every time you see,
02:43like, a white guy who turns up to an Indian wedding and, like, nails the dance or whatever,
02:47it goes viral.
02:48Yeah.
02:48And that's, yeah.
02:49Yeah.
02:49I think if you manage to get over doing something cultural, I think, I genuinely, I'm not just
02:54saying this.
02:55Yeah.
02:55I think you could be a megastar over here.
02:58I honestly believe that.
02:59Bollywood is one of the world's biggest film industries, famed for its big dance numbers
03:06and incredible action sequences.
03:09If we had any chance of making it here, we desperately needed some help.
03:13So we tracked down the perfect person to get us on our way, a Bollywood star who's gone
03:20on to break Hollywood, Ali Fasau.
03:23From his breakout comedy performance in Bollywood classic Fukri to taking on full throttle blockbuster
03:29action in Fast and Furious 7.
03:31240 miles per hour, top speed.
03:34And it's bulletproof.
03:37Ali's range made him the guy to help us on our mission.
03:39We were dropping in on him during a photo shoot to pick his brains on all things Bollywood.
03:45Hi, Rob.
03:45Nice to meet you.
03:46Hi, yes.
03:46Hi, yes.
03:47How's it going?
03:48You all right?
03:48Oh, you look at this guy.
03:50You look great.
03:51Basically, we're trying to, one, find out about Bollywood as a phenomenon and, two, get a part
03:57in something.
03:57Yeah.
03:58Yeah, genuinely.
03:59And the truth is, have you ever seen anybody that looks like this in a Bollywood feature?
04:03No.
04:05No.
04:05What?
04:05What do you mean?
04:06It's unique.
04:07Really?
04:08I'm kidding.
04:08I'm kidding.
04:09I mean, no.
04:10Anybody can become an actor.
04:11Anybody can, like, enter Bollywood.
04:13It's diverse.
04:14So, what's the main differences you've done both between Hollywood and Bollywood, would
04:17you say?
04:18What's the big difference?
04:19Well, I mean, the economics, I think.
04:24Which one's better?
04:25Which one pays more?
04:26Well, I mean, the English side.
04:27Yeah.
04:28Yeah.
04:28Right.
04:29Seriously?
04:29Especially, like, Bollywood sets.
04:30The ones with the songs, 500 dancers.
04:33It gets really crazy on a set, right?
04:34You've got to be really, really, like, zen inside.
04:38So, it's going to be overwhelming and hectic, so we've got to try and be as...
04:41It can be, especially because you're white, so you're going to be a minority.
04:44Yeah.
04:45But I do like attention.
04:47You know what?
04:47You should be in front of the camera.
04:49Like, step one, I think, would be to just get photos.
04:51Okay.
04:52And we take it from there.
04:53So, Ali was going to help us out and let us use his team to get a portfolio of headshots.
04:58Just like the biggest Bollywood stars, we were getting a lookbook for Ali to send to
05:02Mumbai's biggest casting agents.
05:05Part of becoming an actor in any industry is you've got to have a portfolio done so you
05:08can go for castings and stuff like that.
05:10Yeah, very nice.
05:11Yeah, yeah.
05:11We like a bit of that.
05:12It's all good.
05:12I genuinely am quite excited about bringing Rob Beckett to Bollywood.
05:18If we can overcome Rob's inability to dance, his complete inability to connect with any
05:23kind of music and also teach him Hindi, I genuinely think this guy could be massive.
05:29But it was clear that Rob had a long way to go.
05:33Wow.
05:34Are you real?
05:36What does wow mean over here?
05:38Luckily for me, Ali had brought along Bollywood costume designer, Rick Roy, to help style
05:44us.
05:44This is Rick.
05:45Hi.
05:45I think, I mean, we need a lot of help.
05:48Yes.
05:48And maybe we can, like, spice things up.
05:49Yes.
05:50So, I think Copverse is really, really big in Bollywood.
05:53Like, every actor who is, like, trying to make it big, they always do a cop film.
05:58Because that's where all the...
05:58Okay, a cop film.
05:59So, Copverse.
06:01I mean, that's what I'm calling it.
06:02Right, okay.
06:04Copverse is one of Bollywood's biggest film franchises.
06:07And this was the first look Rick was about to try on us.
06:10We have options of names, whatever you're, like, kind of feeling it.
06:13Anyone's that say Paul?
06:15Uh, Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:17I think I'm more of a Rajiv.
06:18It could be Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:19Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:20I'm more of a Rajiv Kumar Singh to me.
06:22Do you get many sort of white cops from South East London in the Indian police force?
06:27Not really.
06:28No.
06:28No.
06:28But I'm not.
06:29I'm an actor and I'm Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:31One important part of the Copverse is to have a moustache only and no beard.
06:38Because cops don't have beard.
06:39You have to shave your fuzz and come back with just a moustache because it's very macho to have a moustache.
06:47We were a cutthroat shave away from entering the Copverse.
06:51Yeah, I'm ready.
06:52Yeah, yeah.
06:53Perfect.
06:54And this was already feeling like a bad idea.
06:57You seem quite nervous.
06:58What I'm nervous about is just looking like a Tamil guy from some exotic, erotic movie from the 70s.
07:06Uh, Rob, on the other hand, with a moustache, I predict unacceptable.
07:10The beards were gone in minutes, but we hadn't dared look in the mirror and the moment of truth arrived.
07:16Right, you ready?
07:17Three, two, one.
07:19Oh my God.
07:20Whoa.
07:21Whoa.
07:23Whoa.
07:24Oh my God.
07:26Why is your cheek so pale?
07:31Are you white?
07:31Rob, Rob, I'm not being funny.
07:32I'm not taking any banter from you about how I look.
07:35What, I...
07:35You genuinely look like you've got something buried under your patio.
07:39I look like a hard man from the 70s in a football team.
07:41You look like a fucking serial killer.
07:43Let's see what you start with the glasses.
07:45That's got a lot worse.
07:48Oh my God.
07:49I look like a fucking Asian Albert Einstein.
07:51Oh my God.
07:56Oh, mine's horrible.
07:57I look like Alpesh Einstein.
08:01It was hard to imagine anyone casting us looking like this, but we were only halfway there with our cop-verse look.
08:08Here you are.
08:09This is your shirt.
08:11How are you looking, Rob?
08:12I look mental.
08:13These trousers, I look like they've been painted on.
08:17It was a tight fit, but we were finally ready to reveal our outfits.
08:22Let's see the big reveal.
08:26Ta-da!
08:27Fabulous.
08:31Um, what do you think?
08:33I don't know what to say.
08:35Do you think he looks okay?
08:36Because he looks like he needs a copy of Mein Kampf.
08:41You must have.
08:42Have you got any big trousers?
08:43He looks like one of the biggest defenders of the Aryan race I've ever seen in my life.
08:46Look, I don't think Rob Beckett is an unattractive man.
08:52He's a good-looking guy.
08:53With a moustache, he looks horrible, like horrible.
08:57Glasses off, do you reckon?
08:58I think glasses off for everyone that sees you.
09:01Fuck.
09:02Let's deal with a moustache, okay?
09:04Some people have a moustache that look handsome and hunky.
09:07Some look camp.
09:08Some look like paedophiles.
09:11I'm a paedophile.
09:12Well, no, I'm not, but I look like I'm the paedophile option.
09:16Despite feeling more like a criminal than a cop,
09:18it was time for us to get in front of the camera
09:20and try to sell ourselves as serious Bollywood actors.
09:24Okay, you've got to be intimidated.
09:25Come on, Rob.
09:26Very nice, sir.
09:27Very good.
09:29Yeah.
09:29Fabulous.
09:30Gangster cop.
09:31Oh, wow, Rob, that's amazing.
09:33Rob had smashed his photo shoot, and now it was my turn.
09:37But if I was to stand any chance of getting a role in Bollywood,
09:40I was going to have to put aside all the obvious problems and get into character.
09:43I am Rajiv Kumar Singh.
09:48But despite his best efforts, Rob wasn't fooling anyone.
09:53Rob is supposed to be playing Rajiv Kumar Singh.
09:58The camera guy couldn't keep a straight face.
10:01He looks like somebody that moved to Tyrone under mysterious circumstances.
10:05With a load of headshots already in the bag,
10:12Rick and Ali had one last look for our portfolios.
10:14The traditional romantic lead.
10:17So it's basically a multi-purpose outfit in Bollywood.
10:20You can do this look for, like, celebrations.
10:23You can do it for weddings.
10:24It's all over.
10:25This is why.
10:26This is it.
10:26I don't think this is okay.
10:28Okay, guys.
10:30Come out.
10:30Let's see what your looks are looking like.
10:35Ooh.
10:38Fabulous.
10:38Yeah.
10:39I love it.
10:39Also.
10:40Yep.
10:41Yep.
10:41Perfect.
10:44I'll be honest if you're not sure what I've got on the right.
10:48See, now I just feel like...
10:50Like what?
10:52I don't know.
10:53It just looks strange, doesn't it?
10:55Look, Ramesh looks sensational.
10:57The colour they gave him really suits his skin tone.
11:00He looks unbelievable.
11:01Ramesh arrives with praise.
11:03I arrive with questions.
11:05Do you know what he looks like?
11:06He looks like he's doing five weeks in Worthing for the panto.
11:10Okay, let's get you in.
11:12So how should we be posing?
11:14Is it like...
11:14Yes.
11:16Could Rob be a romantic lead?
11:18Yes.
11:19If the other character in the relationship was an animal.
11:23Very nice.
11:25There you go.
11:26Have you ever done a white guy before?
11:28Not this fight.
11:31Romantic leads still felt like a long shot for Rob.
11:33But with Rick and Ali's help, we'd managed to complete our portfolios and were one step
11:38closer to breaking into Bollywood.
11:40Oh my God.
11:41Yeah, I think the pictures are done.
11:51That's nice.
11:52That's a good one.
11:53And do you think we've got any potential?
11:54I think so.
11:55We'll edit them a little and send them to the producers.
11:57Why don't you focus on acting lessons?
11:59Yeah, we're up for that, aren't we?
12:00Yeah.
12:01That'll help, I think.
12:02Alright, well look, we'll do that.
12:04But seriously, best of luck.
12:05Great, thanks.
12:06Thanks.
12:07Alright, we'll be in touch.
12:07Thanks, man.
12:08Thank you very much.
12:08Thanks so much.
12:14Rom and I are on a mission to break into Bollywood.
12:16Ta-da!
12:17After learning the tricks of the trade from Bollywood star Ali Fazal.
12:21Oh my God.
12:22We now looked the part and we were ready to up our game.
12:26Why don't you focus on acting lessons?
12:28Yeah, we're up for that, aren't we?
12:29Yeah.
12:30But as we set off from the gateway of India for a spot of sightseeing before school tomorrow,
12:35something was on my mind.
12:37Right, so we've done our photo shoot stuff with the moustache.
12:42Are we keeping this then for the rest of the Bollywood adventure?
12:45I think we sort of have to.
12:46Yeah, we can't go back now.
12:47I can't go clean shaven.
12:48All clean shaven for me is worse.
12:50For me, same.
12:50I think for the rest of this trip, certainly, we're the Tash Bros.
12:53But I think if I'm super confident, people won't question it.
12:57So it's like, oh, you've got a moustache.
12:58Yeah.
12:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.
13:00That feels quite, like, quite defensive.
13:02Not confident.
13:03Sexy.
13:04No.
13:04Powerful.
13:04No, it feels like it's, you've got a chip on your shoulder about it.
13:07OK, we've just met each other.
13:08Peter, I have.
13:08Rob, nice to meet you.
13:09Hey, man.
13:10Oh, you've got a Tash too?
13:11Yeah.
13:11I like it.
13:12OK, yeah, I like yours as well.
13:14Thanks.
13:15I don't like that.
13:16No?
13:17No.
13:18Why not?
13:18How about this?
13:19Oh, you're a sex offender as well?
13:28To kickstart our acting ambitions, the next day we headed into one of India's top drama schools,
13:34Actor Prepares Academy in Mumbai, founded by Bollywood icon Anupam Ker.
13:38With a career spanning over four decades, in acclaimed roles ranging from Bollywood dad
13:44in Dilwalia, Dulhania, Lajianghe.
13:46I am proud of you, my son.
13:48To therapy guru in the Oscar-winning Silver Linings playbook, Anupam's an absolute giant
13:54of world cinema.
13:55Hello.
13:56Hi, hi.
13:57Hi.
13:57And with his school's track record of producing some of India's finest actors, it was the perfect
14:02place to help us on our Bollywood journey.
14:06So when did you start the academy?
14:07About 20 years back, our tagline is, we bring out the actor in you.
14:12Well, that's one of the problems that we've got, I think, if I can speak on behalf of both
14:15of us.
14:15Yes.
14:16We're quite inhibited.
14:18Musical-wise, that's probably our biggest obstacle.
14:21Yeah, that's going to be.
14:21We don't really.
14:22Obstacle?
14:22Obstacle, yeah.
14:23I can't dance.
14:24Okay.
14:25You can't dance?
14:25No.
14:26You've done 500 films?
14:27Yeah, I've danced.
14:28So I go speak to the choreographer and I say, either the camera should be on my feet or
14:34on my face.
14:35Never at the same time?
14:36Never in the body.
14:38So it will be, face will be doing, and the feet will be doing the same.
14:41But together, it will be so difficult.
14:44So as long as you get one?
14:45Yeah.
14:45That is a great tip.
14:48That is a great tip.
14:49That's brilliant.
14:50I think the moment you do not worry about making a fool of yourself, you can act.
14:56Yeah.
14:56Okay.
14:57Especially in today's time, you don't want to be a fool.
14:59So you do a balanced acting where you do not look stupid and you cannot act brilliantly.
15:05Right.
15:05So you are competent, and I think competence is the biggest enemy of brilliance.
15:10Oh, yes, I love this.
15:11This is so good.
15:12What about us?
15:13Do you think our faces are assets?
15:15I think you look very good for a lot of roles.
15:17Even me, because obviously, Bollywood.
15:20I would like to say, yeah.
15:22Really?
15:22So, yeah.
15:23You can be a curious man who is always curious to find out.
15:28So a curious man.
15:29A man who will hide behind a tree and sort of will check out people.
15:31Like a pervert.
15:32Sorry?
15:33Like a pervert.
15:33Sort of like a pervert.
15:34Yeah.
15:35We can train you.
15:36In five minutes, I can make you feel that you can act.
15:39Really?
15:39Yeah.
15:40Well, listen, we are open to learning.
15:42And just be free and go for it and have no fear.
15:45Is that right?
15:46I think you should be ready to make it full of yourself.
15:49You can become a good actor.
15:50Okay.
15:51Okay.
15:52So, to help us loosen up and lose our inhibitions, Anupam was teaming us up with his senior acting
15:58coach, Paresh Parekh.
15:59Yeah, so let's begin with the first lesson of the day.
16:07It's voice work.
16:08Okay.
16:09Voice work?
16:09Ready?
16:10Yeah.
16:10So, just talk about something.
16:13Um...
16:14Have you spoken to Lisa and the kids?
16:15Yeah, uh...
16:17Theo's not very happy with the moustache.
16:20You sort of said you haven't really done that to your face.
16:21Okay, fine.
16:22So, uh...
16:23Can you raise the volume, please?
16:25Yeah, of course.
16:26What's his problem?
16:28I don't know.
16:28I just feel like he finds it embarrassing.
16:30You know, like, I post it up on Instagram and now all of his mates are going, your dad
16:33looks like a nonce.
16:35It's just a bit of an embarrassing, horrible situation.
16:37Okay.
16:37Yeah.
16:37So, now can you raise the pitch?
16:39Yeah, sure.
16:40And so, basically, it's a situation where he sort of finds it difficult because the opinion
16:45of his friends is important to him.
16:47Fine.
16:47So, can you try this?
16:49Yeah.
16:50Do you think the voice is ever going to help with the moustache when he sees this back
16:54and all his friends goes, your dad looks like a pervert but also sounds like a child?
16:59Okay.
17:00I think he'll think that the other person looks much more like a sex offender than he does.
17:04I don't think his voice is helping anyone.
17:06Fine.
17:07Now you are using the false tone of the voice.
17:11Okay.
17:12Yeah.
17:12I want to use your...
17:13I think one of the things that holds me back is inhibition.
17:17It's sort of embarrassment.
17:19I think Rob has got that less.
17:21Rob has got sort of a self-confidence and a self-belief that, in my opinion, exceeds his
17:27talent.
17:28Oi, come here.
17:29I've still got a lot of hope that I am sort of sitting on the great white rhino of Bollywood
17:33and I think that today, if he shows something about himself, I don't have to do this anymore.
17:39I just become Rob's manager and they call him, I don't know, Ghost or something like
17:43that.
17:45And he becomes the biggest thing in the Indian film industry.
17:49That's the big hope.
17:50That's the big white hope.
17:51Paresh had one last exercise to help us lose our inhibitions.
17:56And worryingly, it involved role play and a camcorder.
17:59Okay, let's go to the second exercise.
18:03Okay.
18:04There's a situation.
18:05And you are in bus.
18:08You both are passengers.
18:09Yeah.
18:09You are standing.
18:10And you are singing a song.
18:14Okay.
18:15And suddenly, he bumps to you because driver suddenly braked and you get pissed off.
18:21Okay.
18:22And he says, what can I do when driver is doing this?
18:26Yeah.
18:27Again, you start singing.
18:29Yeah.
18:29And this time, the bumping person is in the opposite direction.
18:33Someone new.
18:34And you are really pissed off.
18:36And now you are shouting at that person.
18:38Yeah.
18:39That person turns out to be a girl.
18:42Right.
18:43And you suddenly smile.
18:44Okay.
18:45It's okay.
18:46Now you are pissed off.
18:48That I bumped to you, you have shouted at me.
18:51And that's a girl?
18:52Yeah.
18:52He's fine with it.
18:53You are smiling.
18:53Yeah.
18:54Prick.
18:55You have to act this in gibberish.
18:57In gibberish?
18:58In gibberish?
18:59Gibberish.
19:07Okay.
19:08Everything in gibberish.
19:09Okay.
19:09You can't a single English word.
19:12Okay.
19:12So you both are standing.
19:14And one, two, three, go.
19:18And one, two, three, go.
19:22And one, two, three, go.
19:24And one, two, three, go.
19:25And one, two, three, go.
19:26And one, two, three, go.
19:27And one, two, three, go.
19:28And one, two, three, go.
19:29And one, two, three, go.
19:30And one, two, three, go.
19:31And one, two, three, go.
19:32And one, two, three, go.
19:33And one, two, three, go.
19:34And one, two, three, go.
19:35We must vet.
19:40We must vet.
19:46We must vet.
19:47It is lullan.
19:52You are in there.
19:55There he is.
20:00Right now.
20:04Oh, that's good!
20:05Oh, that's good!
20:08Oh, that's good!
20:12That's good!
20:19That's a good one!
20:28So, let's see the result.
20:30What's going on?
20:31What's going on?
20:32What's going on?
20:34it turns out fresh was filming us so we could watch back and study our
20:38performances but all I could focus on was how we looked why did he show it back
20:44why did you do that I do not want to watch a video of me inside profile when
20:50the old gobble gobble toad face comes out and watch me and Ramesh talk gibberish
20:55I'm half decent straight on to the side fucking toad boy fuck me it was horrible
21:02our profiles are disgusting I didn't know what a beard is for now I know it's
21:08to hide that as for the gibberish thing there's two possible options option
21:12number one it's useful exercise in being able to act without using any words and
21:16the other interpretation is that pressure some sort of fetish it's very niche
21:20fantasy but pressure is incredibly specific he filmed it I don't know what
21:25he's going to do with that he's now left with that footage
21:29Anna Pam's inhibition calls have been an eye-opener but we'd passed and we had
21:35the t-shirts to prove it I actually felt like we learned some stuff today I think
21:39there's something that was said today that I'll keep with me for the rest of my
21:42life which is competence is the enemy of brilliance yes I like that I like
21:47Paresh a lot at sometimes he'd go boom out of nowhere yeah and I don't know what
21:53that meant yeah that was and I'm like I just did it back at him yeah the right
21:57thing to do no yeah I think so I mean I don't know I don't know what you're asking
22:00I don't know Indian are you no problem that's not I keep forgetting what series
22:04are we also he said I look like a pervert we've got an app I know he should be
22:09pretty like the curious man behind a tree oh thanks Anna Pam thanks Anna Pam oh god
22:15here we go and he's cancelled clip it up put it in the trailer we were in India hoping to land
22:30roles as Bollywood stars we'd met Indian movie legend Anna Pam care who'd helped us lose our
22:36acting inhibition now all we needed was a film to star in and I just had some huge news so
22:44Robert yeah what did I say was not the big thing about us coming here obviously learn about Bollywood
22:50but the ultimate dream beyond all dreams be in Bollywood be in Bollywood be in a film yeah got a
22:55text from Ali's team yeah we've got a part in a Bollywood movie oh wait yes right okay the film is a
23:04sequel to the successful movie Rish took a batwara which I remember you talking about a lot you like
23:08to give me that got the box set it's a drama it's not a box set it's a film yeah you don't know
23:13it's a box set it's a deep blu-ray Rob and Romesh will be playing the role of visitors traveling
23:17from a foreign country joining in one of the songs in the film the song will have the hero and heroine
23:23involved as well as about 20 dancers right okay finally and this is the bit I think you're gonna be
23:28very excited about Rob will have a line in Hindi for John to God that color hey ho what let me look at
23:36that kyan gada car gray hole cut kyan get is this allowed I don't know we'll find out I'll find out in
23:45the edit gone kyan gada car right he hole which means why are you fighting I'm gonna have to speak
23:52to someone who can speak Hindi to find out to say Rob 100% that has to I can't just go on and re
23:57freestyle that but listen we're in Bollywood baby we're in Bollywood no as in we're gonna be in a
24:03ball right yeah sorry yeah this isn't but we're at now we're in Mumbai right okay but where is Bollywood
24:08then actually is there a sign there probably is actually I'm not saying it though actually in
24:13hindsight probably we should have done that stress now don't get stressed easy for Ron to say he
24:19wasn't the one delivering lines in Hindi in a Bollywood movie especially because Ali had warned me
24:23what I was in for it gets really crazy on a set right especially like Bollywood sets you're gonna be
24:28really really like zen inside right now zen felt miles off Ron was buzzing about our Bollywood debut
24:37but I was going to bed worrying I'd be getting cancelled mid-sea the next day on Ali's advice we
24:49were traveling east of Mumbai into the countryside on a mission to find some inner peace we were heading
24:54to an Ayurveda spa to relax Ayurveda is a traditional Indian system of medicine focused on balance and
25:01well-being Bollywood swears by it stars are Amitabh Bachchan have promoted books on it and
25:06Rohit Roy has raved about it on social media so if it worked for them it could get Beckett in the
25:12right frame of mind for his performance tomorrow Rob's sort of pranging out a little bit about it
25:17as he should do because he wouldn't be prepared to be in a movie if it was in English is there a strong
25:23argument that we should spend today doing some acting lessons and learning rudimentary Hindi
25:27absolutely but that's not what we're doing we're coming here to get like really very zen
25:31and rather than Rob learning the Hindi he will become Hindi thank you we'd gone for the Ayurvedic
25:40taster menu and based on the welcome it wasn't going to be your average spa day thank you thank you thank
25:46that's what we've got to wear for massage yeah come put around my waist our first treatments were
25:58Ayurvedic massages in traditional Ayurvedic dress if you undid a loo roll completely and attached a
26:07string to it that's what we've got to wear and then I see him after you finish the treatments you burn that
26:15immediately it's going on there what well I've got three of them on they put three in the room
26:22Romesh look like a giant baby because he'd made a special loincloth out of his loincloth
26:29absolutely horrendous I was having a treatment called pity chill basically warm oil poured all over
26:38me Rob was getting a massage called kashiradara which involved milk
26:42I feel like I'm watching your only fast
26:50having milk pulled all over you sorry he's going to be finding like cottage cheese in his crack this
27:12couldn't look worse he's going to smell like an edam
27:16okay what it looked like was Rob's dick had been murdered and they put a shroud over it for its
27:24decency is that nice I imagine yeah it's good my skin cannot be more oil ready to go the fucking air fryer
27:40I was feeling a little more zen after the milk massage but with ropes involved in our next
27:47treatment things are about to get a lot more intense right hello namaste nice to meet you I'm
27:53Prabhat nice to meet you I'm Prabhat nice to meet you you walk into a room that looks like it's somewhere
28:00where they'd extract sort of secrets from you the rope coming from the ceiling you think this might be
28:04the last room I ever walk into you have to lay down face down okay okay I will put you in position
28:12Prabhat's a master in the art of Chabuti Turumal an Ayurvedic technique that means foot pressure full
28:19body deep tissue all done with the feet basically Beckett was about to get trampled I'm a big fan of
28:26Prabhat but he is using his feet and I'm firmly of the belief that feet should not be seen they're
28:33certainly not for applying oil and rubbing you up and down your body oh that fell your Achilles
28:41tendon went between his toes yeah felt like the tender was a credit card and these toes as a machine
28:48if you might use your ass crackers chip and pin in a minute it's things position things yeah I'd say
28:57there's probably the worst way my body could look my little one ball tits hanging down oh my gosh
29:12he's using it like a ski slope he's doing slalom on your bottom of your back please absolutely
29:23everything in profile have you ever looked up at the Sun for a second and you look away and that image
29:28is still in your eye that's what it was like with Rob's dick and balls okay no way
29:41what do you think is going to happen now what do you think is going to happen now oh my god
29:54it's gonna creep on it I've never even felt like this before
30:11sorry what the fuck is going on oh my god are you joking
30:19even like that sort of tweaking his nose with his foot is his foot okay that's it thank you
30:28thank you very much now Rob be careful now Robby oh fuck it or don't
30:33I was up please lay down and my foot aversion was about to be put to the test I don't want to do
30:42this it's good to finally get some oil on my skin I had about three to four minutes where I wasn't
30:49completely oiled up from top to bottom so that's good and it didn't take long for proper to turn me
30:54into a human doormat to be good for your marathon training you're supposed to get time on feet not
30:59time under feet and as Prabhat hit me with a sphinx and then the ski slope it was only a match of
31:10time before the inevitable happened here we go welcome to the Thunderdome oh no close your eyes please
31:37okay yeah gladly why are you laughing brother don't forget his nose brother
31:44oh my god come out
31:48buy me a drink first brother
31:52okay sir thank you thank you so much that was lovely
31:59thank you thank you thank you thank you so much
32:06having Prabhat put his foot on my face felt like the natural end to our ayurvedic journey
32:21but we still had one more treatment to go
32:23shiro basti it involved dough a hat and more oil
32:29this is what a pastry turban
32:30just never felt so helpless i just don't know what i am anymore i'll tell you about to be a pie
32:35the paste was a mystery until the hats went on it was there to seal them to our heads so they could
32:42pour in the oil it's good actually it's been about seven or eight minutes since i've had some oil applied
32:47we'd been thoroughly oiled and told to sit back relax and enjoy the feeling
32:53i started in a position that means the only way this stays straight up is if i look at your crotch
33:00so
33:02i have a good look
33:06please rob don't rob don't do you like it i'm feeling de-stressed all i can see all i can't this angle is terrible
33:17you're gonna sleep well tonight
33:18shall we take a closer back up please
33:20you know what i think would have been a good treatment
33:24a lesson in hindi
33:26i don't know if that's right or not
33:31it had been a mixed day part relaxing part traumatic
33:35rob had barely practiced for his role tomorrow but we ticked ayurveda off the bollywood to-do list
33:40all that was left now was to become bollywood stars
33:44we're in india taking on bollywood thanks to our mentor ali fazal
33:55we'd somehow ended up in a film and unbelievably rob had been given a line in hindi
34:00kyan gada kagreho
34:03kyan gada is this allowed
34:06today we were heading north of mumbai to the film's location
34:10a set called focus city
34:12if you'd have said to me at the beginning of this whole thing
34:15at the end of the week you are going to be
34:17playing a tourist at focus city in a bollywood film
34:20i would say what is focus city
34:22but here we are
34:24we're in a bollywood film
34:26it's a hell of a day man
34:28we were here to star in the sequel of rishtokar batwara 2
34:32which translates as division of relationships
34:38the first film was a big hit
34:40a family drama packed with dance numbers
34:42so with bollywood fans already on board expectations were high
34:50this film is a sequel to a film that on youtube has got 13 million views right so this is not rob
34:58beckett's smart tv right lots of people actually watch this first up we will meet in the film's producer mr
35:06shar
35:08so he could talk us through the scene
35:10it's a song sequence
35:12in which
35:14hero and heroine is having a very sweet fight fight fight when the heroine says the hero
35:22you bring me the
35:23you bring me the jumkha that is the airing
35:26the big one
35:27then only i will allow you to kiss on my chick
35:30oh
35:31so you are watching all this why these people are fighting there is one guy who is selling earrings
35:37yeah
35:38you get that airing
35:39yeah
35:40you go to the heroine and then you have to explain it in one line in hindi
35:44yes
35:45yes
35:46yes
35:47go on
35:48he's doing the line he's got this
35:49only little word in hindi
35:50all right
35:51great
35:52and you can take part when the song is going on you can just do whatever kind
35:55okay great
35:56yeah
35:57you met my director
35:58no
35:59no not yet
36:00Katie
36:01hi
36:02i'm rob nice to meet you
36:03yeah
36:04hello
36:05hi
36:06nice to meet you
36:07yeah
36:08it's hot isn't it
36:09yeah
36:10so he's my director
36:11yeah
36:12he told you what you were supposed to do
36:13he told you
36:14yeah yeah yeah
36:15okay
36:16brilliant thank you so much
36:17thank you so much
36:18thank you
36:19looking around
36:20the production was big
36:21and the thought of rob dancing and trying to speak hindi in front of everyone
36:24was too good to be true
36:26i can't wait
36:28i'm absolutely buzzing
36:29i feel like it's my birthday
36:31while ron was chilling with his coffee
36:33i'd hit the google translate panic bar
36:36here we go
36:37why are you doing this
36:38why are you doing this
36:39oh fucks sake
36:40i feel like dom king
36:41i brought my
36:43i brought my prize fighter to focus city
36:45to be in a film
36:46you want to speak hindi
36:47yeah hell yeah he speaks hindi
36:49you
36:52kyo kyo kyo kyo
36:56chakrah
36:57Kyoo chakrac
36:58he'll speak as
36:59much india as
37:00you bang
37:01rabe consequences god damn hindi boy
37:02khr
37:04khr rahe
37:05ho
37:06i'd said my line so many times i didn't
37:09even know if it was right anymore
37:11kyu chakrah rahe ho
37:13hot but with the cast and crew gearing up and filming about to start we got the call to costume
37:19and once we put on our tourist outfits the line felt like the least of my worries so what do you
37:25think what we plan again um yeah some sort of tourist i've got a guess of what type um the
37:32through line of me being a pervert in this show is not stopping is it no i think you suit the look
37:38i mean i think the socks and sandals are doing most of the heavy lifted what i want to know
37:42is what are us two on holiday doing well now that's the question isn't it yeah we just we just go yeah
37:53we're on a little little trip we've got india cambodia thailand have a look about yeah feel
37:59more feel more welcome over here than a new back at home all right come on should we go do it
38:05we have three scenes to shoot that made up one big dance number but we were still trying to get
38:13our heads around the story it's a very confusing narrative we're two tourists let's not get into
38:19specifics of what we're doing how we've come together why we're wearing what we're wearing
38:23all of that i think is makes it a much darker project first we had to watch the loved up couple
38:29have a barney over a pair of earrings while we stared through a window like a pair of creeps
38:34luckily kd was on hand to guide us through it i'll tell you look each other okay then you'll
38:40become look what's going on i'm a big fan of kd he looks like sherman clump the later years
38:45ready ready i'll be here okay you'll tell me when i'll say go i love the fact he's very nice to us but
38:52then shouts at anyone brown that works on the show so then you um you do this and then you come
39:01and i'll tell you go and then look each other yeah then start dancing okay
39:09the way you are in a little way to pop out i don't know if this is a massive stitch up
39:25because at the moment what it feels like is this is the most mental thing i've ever done
39:29oh of course is that okay you got tired yeah i didn't get tired but no that was longer on it
39:40in the next part of the scene our characters were joined by a bloke and a scarf who was selling
39:44earrings junker that we were going to buy to please the leading lady and unfortunately for us
39:50this meant the start of our big dance sequence
39:53so we were shown the classic bollywood dance move the thump car
40:03and once kd was happy we were ready to go for a take roll
40:07and once we'd started it didn't stop
40:25i dance more today for those scenes that i have done at every asian wedding i've ever been to
40:40added together thank god all good thankfully the dancing was done but that meant it was time for
40:49rob's line and he wasn't looking good i'm absolutely exhausted already and it's happened jet it's 39
40:55degrees the geyser said this is an indian heat wave i can't handle a british heat wave i was melted in
41:01the heat and kd was pressuring me to rehearse what's the dialogue kiyon gahari ka rahe ho
41:07kiyon gahari ka rahe ho i've got no idea what the line is anymore kiyon jagra jajah gra
41:19every single indian actor or producer or director that comes up to me has a different accent and
41:24and pronounce it in a different way i think it's accents you know like in the uk people
41:39have got different accents so it's like i feel like an italian player that's signed for liverpool
41:43i've learned english and everyone's a scouser rob was all over the place hearing the line
41:48pronounced 20 different ways and scrambled his brain kyun jagra karaki ho hello just you don't
41:54start don't shout the line at everybody you cannot get in my head right now show me how you're going to
41:59do it it's a bit chinese yeah but don't worry about that don't get that in your head about that
42:06now we had to deliver in hindi in front of the entire cast and crew and eventually millions of
42:12bollywood fans oh but if he nailed it he'd be a bona fide bollywood movie star ready rolling roll
42:24action here's our big bollywood moment in rishta kabatwara 2.
42:42oh
42:54I
42:56Jajji
42:58Jajji
43:02Jajji
43:04Jajji
43:06Jajji
43:08Jajji
43:14Kion Jagra Karahiro
43:16Yellow
43:20Thank you
43:22Jajji
43:24Jajji
43:26Jajji
43:28Terwist
43:30Star
43:33Jajji
43:34Jajji
43:39Jaja
43:40Jaja
43:42Jaja
43:44Jajji
43:45Jaja
43:46Jaja
43:48Jaja
43:49Jaja
43:49Jaja
43:51Our Bollywood adventure was complete. We'd acted, danced, been oiled and somehow survived it.
43:59Rob had nailed his line first time, which honestly, I never thought would happen.
44:03But cometh the hour, cometh the great white rhino.
44:07Do you know what Rob, I think you've done well here.
44:10Yeah, I think you've done particularly well. We had a mission objective for this episode and we've done it.
44:16We've delivered a line of Hindi dialogue in a film. You hate music and dancing.
44:21You danced for ages. I enjoyed it. You'd let go of your inhibitions.
44:24I don't know if the foot massage helped. In future, if I'm trying to learn Hindi, I don't think I need to lay naked face down and have a man walk on me.
44:31No. Never mind on camera. I'll do that in my spare time.
44:35Junker. Waka, waka, waka.
44:39No, in all seriousness, no, you were great though. Do you know what I think we should do?
44:42What's that? Head off, go and find KD, see if we can be in part three.
44:47Get some of the backstory for these two perverts.
44:49Maybe, let's doubt. Junker in London.
44:52I'm so sweaty. Is your arse wet?
44:56We can't close the episode like that.
44:58I'm not opening it with it.
45:00Come on, let's go.
45:01Junker.
45:05Come on. Give him one more.
45:06Come on.
45:06Come on.
45:28Come on.
45:28Oh
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