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River City - Season 2025 Episode 62 -
08/12/2025 (1558)

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Thank you for listening.
00:30I hear you. What have you been told? They've been un-left of your party if you keep scoffing
00:43them. Sorry. Not sorry. That's the last thing he needs is more sugar. I know it's Kenzie's
00:52party, but as high as a kite as it is, I'd, eh, Bob say when he'd be back. Can you see
01:04me, wee man? Well, good, cos for a wee minute there I thought I was invisible. Are you
01:11going to be like this all day? Ah, well, let's go to just be me and you then, teddy boy.
01:22Oh no, not again. That is the third time of the day you'd think he would be empty.
01:30What are you feeding him? Cat food. And I'm out of leggings. You know what, I need to take
01:35him home and change him. Right, I'll be back in ten. And I know that you're still annoyed
01:42but can we at least have a wee chat before the rest of the party folk get here? What's
01:46left to say? Well, I wanted to. Morning. Oh, if that's you, you need to go to the doctor.
01:53I know. I'll be back pronto. So, apart from the Ross Rouge, it looks like you've got
02:02everything organised. Aye, need to blow up some balloons, fill up some party bags and then
02:08I'm collecting the cake. What time's the entertainment getting here? Ah. Right, erm, so here's the
02:16thing. There you are. I've been looking for you. Checking up on me. I'm not doing anything
02:31I shouldn't be. Look, I know that. I'm sorry for not trusting you. It's fine. You've apologised
02:38already. Aye, but I still want to make it up to you. So that's what I wanted to tell you.
02:43I'm going to run the Santa Dash. Yeah, you said. No, what I meant was that I'm going to
02:49run it for you. For a charity of your choice. That's actually very cool. I'm going to do
02:55it for your favourite addiction charity too. What do you think? I think it's a great idea.
02:59Go for it. I'm going to raise hundreds of cash and sponsorship. No, in fact, I am going
03:04to raise the most money out of all the runners. That's amazing, but I'm sure they'll appreciate
03:08whatever you can raise. No, no, I've said it now. The most money out of all the runners,
03:12charity deserves it, son. I think you might struggle. Oh, eh? You don't think I can run
03:17the lend of myself? No, no, not with the running, with the sponsorship. I've heard Karen's been
03:21doing really well with getting folk on board with her charity. Oh, you think I cannae beat
03:25her? I don't know. Let me tell you, I'll wipe the floor with Karen and ring out what's left
03:32in a manky bucket. OK. Well, good luck. Luck's got nothing to do
03:37it, son. I'm glad Dean had to go pick up the cake. Did you see the daggers he was giving
03:47me? What did you expect? He'd already told Kenzie that there was a special guest coming.
03:53I know. I said I was sorry. What did your mate say exactly? He got the date wrong. How'd you get
04:01the dates wrong at Christmas? Thought was he planning on turning up in Good Friday dressed as
04:04Easter Bunny? He thought the party was tomorrow, so he went out last night and got on one. And he
04:10can't entertain with a hangover? He did not go home. He's still hammered. Well, I know who's
04:15going to hammer him? Bob when he comes back and finds out. Come on. It's Christmas time. Good will
04:21to all men and all that. Good luck saying that to Bob. Soon he's going to find himself stuck in a
04:28small flat with a handful of mental eight-year-olds jacked up to the nines and suites with nothing
04:33to entertain them. What am I supposed to do about it? Maybe you could give Sam a phone, see if he's got
04:40somebody in his books last minute. Ah, he was too expensive. And anyway, who's not working at
04:45Christmas time? We'll end up with that 85-year-old Tony Bennet impersonator with the one leg.
04:50Which is ironic, cos he's got no toe and no knee. Well, we're going to need somebody here
04:55in the next hour, so is there any point ringing about? Nah, there's pointless. We could put
05:00a movie on for them. I mean, it's not what I promised, but... Oh, the kids will be happy
05:05with that. Aye. They're more resilient than you think. What did you get for your birthday,
05:10Kenzie? Big box of disappointment. Well, maybe there is something we could do. What?
05:17Apply them with even more sugar and hope they pass out by the sugar high? If I go now and
05:24I hurry, I think I can still sort this. Really? Aye. It's Christmas time. Let's hope for a miracle.
05:31I've just had a phone call with the council. Good for you. I've just had a sleepless night
05:50with a screaming baby. The usual, please. Kids, yeah. Love a couple someday. So, anyway,
05:57your little petition to save the oyster. It's fallen short of the threshold for them
06:03even to consider it. Well shot, he said. And I've just had a very positive meeting with
06:09the planning department. Looks like I'm going to get the go-ahead to completely renovate
06:13the oyster. I wouldn't be so sure about that. We've recently discovered the oyster is a historically
06:17protected building. Not according to my people. You know, the people that actually matter.
06:22They don't think they'll have any problem getting the planning permission. Bits of special interest
06:26to the community. According to the council, not, isn't it? They say it's not listed and
06:32it's got no special and conservation status. And even if it did, I shake the right hands
06:38and Bob's your uncle. But it's special to us. But you're living in the past. You know, people
06:45don't want a cup of builder's tea and a scabby old calf. They want freshly roasted coffee beans.
06:50Great value in a clean, contemporary surrounding. And that is exactly what I'm going to give
06:56them.
06:56What a completely soulless experience that they could get in any coffee chain on any
07:00high street in the world.
07:01And those coffee shops are always packed out. Because people, people want consistency.
07:06They want to know exactly what they're getting at a price point they know they can afford.
07:10Ugh, your aim is to make life more boring. Making money is many things. It's never boring.
07:17Well, I certainly won't be going there and I'm sure most of Shale Dench won't either.
07:21Well, it's a pity. The first espresso was on me. Looks like you could deal with the caffeine.
07:35What did he want?
07:39Is that your sponsorship form?
07:44Ma?
07:45Not many on it.
07:47Oh, no, when you're trying to get sponsored. I've been running off of Shale Dench, you
07:52know, I keep hearing this. Oh, sorry, I've already sponsored somebody.
07:54Well, folk just have now got the money.
07:56What about you? Will you sponsor me?
07:58Eh, well, I've already sponsored somebody.
08:01Ma!
08:02Well, I meant put me down for a fiver.
08:04A fiver?
08:05Aye, all right. A tenner then.
08:08So, how much is that in total?
08:10Well, with your tenner and a tenner for Chris, that makes a grand total of twenty.
08:18Well, if you cannae get individuals to sponsor you, you're just gonna have to think out the
08:23box like Karen has.
08:32Who you off to?
08:33Eh, I need to get to work, but the cake's been safely delivered. At least that bit of the
08:37party's got a plan.
08:38What do you mean?
08:39Getting a tenner.
08:40Chris booked.
08:41He went in a mad bender last night.
08:42Kelly Marie said Chris has got to sort it out, though.
08:44Eh, so why the panic?
08:45The guy's not answering his phone.
08:47They're gonna have to drag him out of the pub.
08:48He's half his face.
08:49They waiting to be disappointed.
08:50Can you juggle?
08:51No.
08:52Magic tricks.
08:53Plate spinning.
08:54That thing where it looks like your thumb's coming.
08:56I'm phoning Chris again.
08:57Eh, before you do, like what I was saying earlier, I know you're still disappointed
09:02about not getting into the police.
09:04Yeah.
09:05Aye, but there's nothing I can do about that except say sorry.
09:09Whatever.
09:10And I cannae change the fact that I've fallen in love with Amber.
09:14And if me and Amber hadn't got together then Teddy wouldn't exist and I know you wouldn't
09:18want that.
09:19Course not.
09:21I'm his favourite uncle, am I?
09:29Come on, what are you doing wasting time the wee man going for him, Chris?
09:32And me and you will get into this madness.
09:38He's been on the Guinness again.
09:43That was even worse than last time.
09:46Right.
09:47Let's get you home again.
09:49Where did you come from?
09:50Where did you go?
09:51Where did you come from?
09:52Carnaggio.
09:53Where did you come from?
09:54Where did you come from?
09:55Where did you go?
09:56Where did you come from?
09:57Where did you come from?
09:58Where did you come from?
09:59Where did you come from?
10:00Oh, stop!
10:03Oh...
10:04Still man!
10:05He's are getting a hold of Santa.
10:06Oh.
10:07There's pure carnage over there, by the way.
10:10The only reason they've no tors to place yet is because I managed to find that extra
10:13six pack of monster much.
10:14What am I supposed to do?
10:16Come ask me.
10:17Me? I've already tried musical statues,
10:20pass the parcel, put the trail in the reindeer.
10:22My fums poor bleeding.
10:23Right, well, maybe we should tell them
10:25there isn't a special guest.
10:26What, and break Kenzie's hat?
10:28Mind you, better break his hat and break up his sofa.
10:33Help me!
10:34We want a special guest!
10:36We want a special guest!
10:39We want a special guest!
10:41We want a special guest!
10:43We want a special guest!
10:46What's the end of the year on Christmas book?
10:47Er, he's just running a wee bit later.
10:50Well, we've got to get here soon.
10:51See, the thing I see when he gets here,
10:53he might be very merry.
10:55So it should be, that's what I'm buying him for.
10:56No, but what we're saying is he might be
10:59full of the Christmas spirit.
11:01Well, at least somebody will be.
11:03These wings are the man-er-ton.
11:05I'm going to answer that.
11:07Right, kids, everybody on the couch, come on.
11:08Come on, here we go, here we go.
11:10Right, listen up, guys.
11:11The special guest is at the front door!
11:14Is it going to be Spider-Man?
11:18Or Superman?
11:21Or maybe even Batman?
11:24Wow, it's...
11:27What is that?
11:33I told you it was going to be a superhero.
11:37Do you?
11:44Talk of really getting behind us, aren't I, Dash?
11:46It's impressive, eh?
11:47Well, they certainly raise more money than what I have, but...
11:51Oh, I know, I'm sorry.
11:52I've already sponsored somebody.
11:54Just let everybody, eh?
11:55Mm-hm.
11:56With a wee potter donating 50 pence of every purchase to the charity.
12:01What charity?
12:02Mm-hm.
12:03Whatever Karen's charity is.
12:04She made a deal with him.
12:05Oh, how'd she do that?
12:06I imagine she'd just ask them.
12:08The vintage store are doing the same thing.
12:10What are we, then?
12:11Aye.
12:1220% of it, enough of that Santa Dash rail is going to Karen.
12:15So Karen's got this whole place working for now?
12:17Well, we're a charity.
12:19Right, well, I'll get Kayla Marie on my side.
12:21Eh, it's too late.
12:26Well, that's going to Karen and all.
12:28She's a smart cookie.
12:30She's going to raise a fortune.
12:31Well, it's great, isn't it?
12:32Is it hell?
12:35Four, one, two, three, four.
12:54I wasn't sure about him to begin with, but the wings are loving it.
12:58Aye, he's brilliant.
13:01Oh, look at Kenji's wee face.
13:05Oh, no, no, I don't think she'd be doing that.
13:33No, no, I, I, I, I, no, I think that's a bit much.
13:36Baba, have a wee word.
13:37Right, that's enough now, Mr Grinch.
13:40Oh!
13:41There's no need for that.
13:48Right, go out and get Chris.
13:50He needs to get his mad mate under control.
13:54Mate, show's over.
13:55Oh!
13:57Oh, oh!
13:58Oh, I see it.
14:00The show's over.
14:01Oh, right, oh!
14:02Baba, get off him.
14:03You're freaking in the wings.
14:04Where's Chris?
14:05Get him on the phone, Brent.
14:07No!
14:08That's what happened, Davey.
14:09Oh, oh, right, oh!
14:12Oh!
14:13Oh!
14:13Oh!
14:14Oh!
14:15Happy birthday again, Zay!
14:34Alright?
14:35I should be asking you that.
14:37So this is why you don't need to turn up for your shift at Molly's?
14:40I was gonna call you about that.
14:42When?
14:43Once I got going.
14:45Gone where?
14:46I'm leaving too much.
14:47Oh, you're no.
14:48Look, the taxi's on its way.
14:50But you're gone now?
14:51Aye, in two minutes.
14:53Now, considering everything I've done for you, we're no even gonna say goodbye.
15:02Who did this to you?
15:04At least tell me why.
15:07I'm gonna miss my taxi.
15:08Well then, you better make it quick.
15:12This was the actual nightmare before Christmas.
15:15Those kids won't sleep for a week.
15:17To be fair, my mate would've been better.
15:19He does it for a living.
15:20Couldn't it be much worse?
15:22Eh, unless you took a dump in the kitchen.
15:24That's Teddy's gig.
15:25So, why was your mate not here?
15:27Well, there was a mix-up with the dates.
15:29He got mad with it last night, which ran into this morning, which ran into the afternoon.
15:34He's totally mangled.
15:36Like my flat?
15:37Worse.
15:38But I couldn't bear the thought of letting Kenzie down.
15:42So his flatmate let me borrow a costume.
15:46But why did you go nuts?
15:48We've not seen the viral videos.
15:51That's what the Grinch does.
15:53He comes in and messes the place up.
15:56You wrecked the place, man.
15:58I thought it would be funny, but I got a bit carried away.
16:01I've never done it before.
16:02But did you not see Kenzie was upset?
16:04I couldn't see it out of the mask.
16:06I thought they were all laughing.
16:07Then, you launched me onto the couch.
16:10I thought you were a kid.
16:12Eh, not the best excuse.
16:21What is it?
16:25It's knackered.
16:27What is?
16:30I bought this for Kim's birthday.
16:34You've broken me.
16:36I'm really sorry.
16:38I'll get it fixed.
16:40It's too late for that.
16:50What's that?
16:52It's Kim's handwriting.
16:54I just need a fresh start.
17:00Where are you planning on going?
17:01I might go and see Nicole.
17:03And what you got to do for money?
17:04I haven't got that far yet.
17:06I'll sort something out.
17:07You see?
17:08You've no thought this through.
17:09No, I need to go.
17:10No, you don't.
17:11I do.
17:13Connor, who's told you to leave?
17:16But you know I can help you.
17:17It's too late for that, Tommy.
17:20You're a good lad.
17:21You've really helped me out.
17:22You deserve a bonus.
17:25Here.
17:28Take that, and I'll put the rest of this munch beer into your account.
17:31This is really going to help.
17:33Yeah, that's what mates do, eh?
17:35They help each other.
17:40Look, you know how you said Roisin's been acting a bit weird lately?
17:43Aye.
17:44Well, trust her got on that.
17:46What do you mean?
17:48I'm sorry, Tommy.
17:51Look, if you know something, you need to tell me now.
17:57Connor, please!
17:58There you go, Dylan.
18:08Oh, now it can.
18:10What can I get you?
18:11Oh, no, you're okay.
18:12Em, I heard you were at the market looking for sponsorship.
18:15Aye, I was, but I...
18:16I'm really sorry, but I've already sponsored someone.
18:19No, I don't need your sponsorship, no.
18:21But what I did notice was all the Santa Dash signs everywhere.
18:24At the Bee Pot, the Vintage Stall, even Kelly Marie's.
18:28Yeah, well, they've all been really generous.
18:30And it's all going to your charity.
18:32And that's the idea.
18:34Do you not think you've gone a bit overboard?
18:36Some of yous are trying to raise money and all.
18:38Are you struggling for sponsors?
18:40No, I'm not. I'm not struggling.
18:42It just seems a bit unfair that you've monopolised the whole of the Shield inch.
18:46It's so unfair of me raising all this money for charity.
18:49Aye, but some of yous are trying to raise money and all.
18:52And you've got your paws on most of it.
18:53You've not managed to raise very much.
18:56Well, I mean, that's a pity for your charity.
18:58Well, listen, if you must know, it's been going quite well, actually.
19:02Well, how much have you raised?
19:04£500.
19:06And change.
19:08Yeah, well, that's great.
19:10I don't know why you're moaning to me.
19:19How are you feeling?
19:21Relieved.
19:22There hasn't been anything else.
19:25Do you?
19:26Nothing.
19:27Fingers crossed.
19:29I think it's over.
19:31I'm keeping my toes crossed, you know.
19:34Yeah.
19:35But if you want my professional opinion, I think that might be osteoporosis.
19:39Oh!
19:43Sure.
19:53What's up?
19:55Amber had a confrontation with Richard.
19:57Are you okay?
19:58I'm fine.
20:00But the oyster isn't.
20:02What did he say?
20:05He's been given planning permission to gut the place.
20:08Oh, no.
20:10It might mean nothing to the council, but it means everything to us.
20:14Just think of everything that's happened over the years on these bits.
20:17Tell me I met Carly for the first time in here.
20:21It's been in the community for decades.
20:22It's always been a family business, not a faceless corporate outlet.
20:28Hmm.
20:29There must be something we can still do.
20:31Something more that we can bring to the council.
20:34It's not over till it's over.
20:37You can do anything if you get a folk a shield and it's behind you.
20:41What do you think, Amber?
20:42We can't give up now.
20:44Yeah, we can.
20:47We tried our best and it wasn't good enough.
20:49There's nothing more we can do.
20:54All we've got to do now is face the facts.
20:58We lost.
21:04Wait for me.
21:08Thanks, but I just need some space to think.
21:11I'll see you later.
21:16You had no idea it was there?
21:17Nah.
21:21Bye with her.
21:23Well...
21:26Maybe you've got the Grinch to thank for that.
21:35Don't know what it is yet.
21:38Well, it says...
21:40...open when I'm gone.
21:41And she's gone.
21:45And she's gone.
22:02Wow.
22:04Okay, well...
22:07That's something.
22:11Look.
22:12Do you want us to stay with you?
22:13We can watch it together.
22:15Nah.
22:16I think I'd prefer just to watch it alone.
22:19If you don't mind.
22:20Oh no, of course.
22:22Right, well...
22:24We'll head then.
22:26Thanks...
22:27Thanks...
22:28...for the day.
22:30Are you sure you're gonna be okay?
22:32Aye.
22:34I'm just gonna get my laptop and watch this.
22:37Right, okay, well...
22:39You'll head then.
22:40I'll get your doctor.
22:41You'll head too.
22:42I'll get your doctor.
22:43Bye.
22:44Bye.
22:46My turn.
22:48Fine.
22:50Good morning.
22:51My turn.
22:53The room.
22:54The room.
22:57My turn.
23:00I need to go home.
23:02I have a house waiting for you.
23:04I have a home.
23:05I have a house waiting for my room.
23:07All right.
23:08I have a house waiting.
23:09so how's your day been uh long teddy was up all night and even when he was feeding
23:28he had reflux so i went through three pairs of pajamas look i know it's tough now but you'll
23:34miss those days when they're gone yeah i could really do with a nap right now yeah i bet
23:39but it's moments like those you don't want to miss thanks i'll um bear that in mind
23:46sorry was there something you wanted to see me about look i only came over to check if you were
23:56feeling okay i heard the news about the oyster yeah well richard made a point of telling me himself
24:03i think he enjoyed it you must be disappointed disappointed i put everything into that
24:12campaign i'm absolutely devastated yeah well we all are and i'm absolutely shattered well
24:20now you'll have more time on your hands you can start to focus on what's important again
24:26meaning what well you have a child now
24:29any luck at the merchant's yard take any money about 500 quid oh that's unbelievable
24:48aye it is completely unbelievable i.e not real what have you done now
24:56oh what was i supposed to do karen's got the whole of shield dunge wrapped around her wee finger
25:00what do you mean well she's getting a kickback for her charity for virtually everyone all the stalls
25:05the mafia would make less money well so what if she's raising money it's all for a good cause
25:11yeah but she was so smug about it then she asked me how much i'd raised i could hardly say 20 quid so
25:16i just said 500 oh what are you like well i just slipped out and then she'll be blabbing that to
25:22everyone and i'll never raise as much as that well you shouldn't have lied all i want to do is raise
25:26the money for drew i promised him well if karen's pulled out all the stops then you're just going to
25:34have to do the same but she's already got everyone at the market ah but she's no go here
25:38and well we could hold a fundraiser in the pub for your charity you know christmas tunes and
25:47santa on the decks i could charge an entrance fee a fiver i could charge a tenner people are at
25:54their most generous at christmas aye and i'll wipe that smug smell right off karen's face
26:00oh i've been looking for you thought you wanted to be alone yeah forget all that
26:16what's happened too many people have written us off and i've had it up to here being told what i can
26:21they cannot do sounds like the caffeine from your coffee's kicking in richard might have the council
26:27on his side but the sale hasn't gone through yet so so we've got people power on our side
26:34and i'll tell you this i'm not going to sit down and shut up while a bunch of suits take away the
26:39things we love most about shield inch so what are we going to do we're going to force aj to reject
26:46richard's offer how we'll have a protest here at the oyster that'll spread the word
26:52we'll force aj to change his mind
26:55but that video was kim's last ever message to you
27:03what if i can't handle it be strong enough to hear what kim has to say
27:07i can't watch teddy but you have to amber i'm really sorry but bob's phoned in sick
27:13why isn't amber here yet small bit nighty we've got this right you'll need to tell him eventually
27:18alex is going to take a run in this place on his end you've got to be joking you see me laughing
27:23you
27:28you
27:32you
27:36you
27:40you
27:44you
27:48you
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