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00:00Thank you for letting us be ourselves, so don't mind me if I repeat myself, these simple lines be good for your health, to keep them crime rhymes on the shelf, live my life like you just don't care, 5,000 leaders never scared, radio noises is the moment they fear, get up still a bill for my death, get up and throw your hands in the head, get up and show them, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up.
00:30Give up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up.
00:40Light the fuse, stand well back and hope to God you don't lose any of your remaining fingers, it's Friday, we're live and it's time for the Last Leg.
00:48Tonight on the show, the Chancellor rips up the manifesto, a newcomer cuts through in New York and we have a crack at the new John Lewis ad.
00:57Plus, we'll be joined by social media star GK Barry, comedian Judy Love, and leader of
01:02the Green Party, Zach Polanski, on the show that breaks down the news of the week.
01:17G'day!
01:19Hello, I'm Adam Hills.
01:21Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that now thinks Alan is the dodgiest car since Tesla.
01:27With me, as always, are the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe, and the man who thought
01:30Wandsworth was a bargain shop in Harry Potter, Alex Brooker!
01:39Look, we've got loads of news to cover tonight, but we're normally covering awkward disability
01:43moments on this show, and this week Josh posted one of his own after a gig.
01:47Have a look at this.
01:50Just come off at half-time in London, no. I need to tell someone this.
01:54The first thing I did was I came on, asked a guy in the front row his name, and he didn't respond.
02:00I thought, that's rude. So I asked him again, and he didn't respond.
02:03And then his wife pointed at his stick, and he is blind.
02:08I think you've got to blame the wife, haven't you?
02:24I don't think you should feel embarrassed about that, because that bloke was sitting there thinking,
02:29Why have they taken me to see Zippy?
02:33Well, you can't just not ask someone their name for fear they'll be blind.
02:38That's no way to live your life.
02:40Though I have now got a policy of not saying hello to dog walkers.
02:43I just don't know.
02:44I thought you were going to say not saying hello to disabled people.
02:48I ignored both of you when I turned up today. I ignore the disabled.
02:51Yeah, that's a thing that happens all the time, though. Like, I've seen that happen.
02:54I was once at a gig where a blind guy in the audience got really angry with the comedian on stage
02:59and got up out of his seat and started shouting at him.
03:02But because he was blind, he was shouting at where the voice was coming from.
03:05So he was actually shouting at a speaker.
03:10The comedian was on stage 20 feet to his left going,
03:12I'm over here, you dickhead.
03:15Was that comedian you?
03:17No, it was not.
03:18And look, Josh isn't the only person this has happened to,
03:20so we called on our blind correspondent, comedian Chris McCausland,
03:24to give us a few tips on how to spot a blind person in the audience.
03:28I've just got a few little pointers for you,
03:30so you can avoid it happening again in the future.
03:33First of all, look out for dogs on white sticks.
03:35That is the main giveaway.
03:36You really should have picked up on that one, Josh.
03:39Failing that, anybody brandishing the tuning for me?
03:41That can be a giveaway.
03:43As you know, us blind people, we do love tuning the piano.
03:47We usually always got one with us,
03:49just in case I've left mine at home today,
03:51but you get the point.
03:53Anybody wearing sunglasses indoors?
03:55That can be a major giveaway, unless it is Bono.
03:58Now I must stress, you do need to check that it isn't Bono.
04:02And finally, you know, many of us blind gentlemen,
04:06we do have abnormally large penises.
04:09So I would urge you to check the bulge.
04:12It can be a giveaway.
04:14And anyway...
04:15Oh, that's okay.
04:16Now we are live on your telly right now,
04:27so you can send us any questions you want to ask us about the news.
04:30Message us on Instagram with the hashtag, is it okay?
04:32WhatsApp, the number is 07956175908.
04:36Or you can scan the QR code on your screen.
04:39In particular, we'd like some questions tonight
04:41to throw at the leader of the Green Party,
04:43Zach Polanski, when he appears on the show in a little bit.
04:46It's like Prime Minister's questions, but on WhatsApp.
04:49DMQs.
04:51For example, someone called Sheik has already asked us,
04:53Zach, what seasoning do you recommend eating the rich with?
04:57Ooh.
05:00And Harry said, would you rather fight one horse-sized duck
05:02or a hundred duck-sized horses?
05:04All right, that's the hard-hitting questions
05:06we're going to get later in the show.
05:07Look on to the big stories now.
05:09Trevor said, is it okay that Rachel Reeves
05:10is going to break the Labor manifesto promise
05:12of no tax rises again?
05:14So, this week the Chancellor gave a long speech
05:17preparing us all for the budget,
05:18which isn't for another three weeks yet.
05:20Like, it was basically a soft launch.
05:22Like, when celebrities are slowly getting the public
05:24adjusted to their relationship.
05:26You know, like when Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau
05:28did this in what looks like an obviously staged shot on a boat.
05:31I mean, this week Rachel Reeves kind of did the same thing,
05:34but without the photos, which is a shame,
05:36because I really wanted to see this.
05:41By the way, the red box is not wearing
05:42a swimming costume in that photo.
05:44And if it was, it would be called a budget smuggler.
05:46Oh, that is great stuff.
05:49Now, the budget...
05:50That is absolutely my kind of humour.
05:54See what, that on the Australian version is going to rip it.
05:57Yeah.
05:59And look, the budget isn't for a couple of weeks,
06:01so why is she doing this now?
06:03I think she's kind of testing...
06:05She's kind of testing the waters.
06:07Yep.
06:08See how we react to it.
06:09You know, kind of like, if you've ever had a conversation
06:11with your other half and you try and test the waters
06:13and you just kind of throw something in, in conversation,
06:15it'd be like, oh, how's your day at work?
06:16By the way, I was thinking of going to a brewery
06:17with my mates for four days, but how was your day at work anyway?
06:19Sorry, did you say...
06:20Did you mention...
06:21Did you mention Bruges?
06:22I didn't...
06:23Did you say Bruges?
06:24I didn't mention raising taxes.
06:25Did you say it?
06:26LAUGHTER
06:27Is this based on something personal?
06:29I'm going to Bruges for four days in December.
06:31LAUGHTER
06:32By the way, that's for you lot,
06:33cos it's when we're on this show.
06:34LAUGHTER
06:36Is Rachel Reeves making the budget sound worse
06:38than it actually is going to be?
06:40Do you think she's painting a worst-case scenario?
06:41Yeah, I think so.
06:42But I think she should have just gone further.
06:44You just go, I've heard rumours income tax is going to be 99%.
06:49I've heard rumours that, you know,
06:51I'm going to put 2p on a Cadbury's cream egg.
06:53And then when she doesn't, or...
06:55Someone was genuinely angry there!
06:57LAUGHTER
06:58Or she could have just got Alan Carr to say,
07:01there's going to be no tax rises, but then giggle.
07:03LAUGHTER
07:04Opposition leader, Kemi Badenoch, described Reeves' speech
07:08as a waffle bomb.
07:10Which, by the way, one of my top five bombs.
07:13It goes waffle, bath, photo, dive,
07:15and the one you get when Miriam Margulies is on the show.
07:18The C-bomb.
07:19LAUGHTER
07:20Tom Jones is watching this going,
07:22I can't believe he's not gone with sex bomb as one of his...
07:24LAUGHTER
07:26He's gutted!
07:28If only Kemi Badenoch had described it as a sex bomb!
07:32LAUGHTER
07:33The Sun published this exposing list of 15 reasons Reeves gave
07:36for why tough decisions might have to be made in the budget
07:39and then pointed out she didn't take any responsibility herself.
07:41It's...
07:42I don't know if you can read all of those.
07:43It reads like the rejected lyrics from a shaggy song.
07:46LAUGHTER
07:47Tory, XPM, Liz Truss?
07:48It wasn't Reeves.
07:49Ex-Chancellor, Quasi?
07:51It wasn't Reeves.
07:52Come on, all together now!
07:54Rishi Sun...
07:55Rishi Sun acts black hole?
07:56It wasn't Reeves.
07:57Donald Trump and his tariffs?
07:58It wasn't Reeves.
07:59Now, the problem faced by...
08:01LAUGHTER
08:03The problem faced by...
08:04Someone described this show recently as like pest them with knob gags.
08:07And...
08:08I don't even think we're that good.
08:09LAUGHTER
08:10The problem faced by Rachel Reeves is that a lot of Britain's public services need funding,
08:13especially prisons.
08:15So this week, two more prisoners were accidentally released from jail,
08:18prompting the majority of the British public to utter this iconic line.
08:21You're joking.
08:22Not another one?
08:24LAUGHTER
08:25I'm going to say prison escapes are getting a lot easier these days.
08:31I don't think the Shawshank Redemption would have been as good a film
08:34if Andy Dufresne had, like, tunneled out, swum through shit
08:38and then Red just walked past on an admin error.
08:40You know, he's like, yeah, they wrote Ted, I'm free.
08:42People aren't wondering why on Andy Dufresne's sale wall,
08:45he's just got a sexy picture of David Lammy.
08:47LAUGHTER
08:48I think that, cos it's underfunded, I think they may...
08:51My theory is they've started having substitute prison officers,
08:54like when you had substitute teachers at school,
08:56and they're bullshitting them, like we did.
08:58So they're turning round...
08:59All the prisoners are turning round to the substitute prison officers
09:01and going, no, no, no, they normally let us serve our sentence
09:03in the park if it's a nice day.
09:05LAUGHTER
09:08You know, like, one in, one out at a club,
09:10I think they should operate a one out, one in policy.
09:13LAUGHTER
09:14So whenever someone's accidentally released from prison,
09:16we just accidentally put a random person in prison.
09:19LAUGHTER
09:20David Lammy stepped in for Keir Starmer this week
09:22and we now need to update this button.
09:25Erm...
09:26It's not been a great week for the Deputy Prime Minister.
09:29LAUGHTER
09:31Firstly, he forgot to wear a poppy for Remembrance Day.
09:33I mean, the clue's in the name, Dave.
09:34LAUGHTER
09:36He had to be handed one by a backbencher.
09:38He then claimed it was because he'd bought a new suit that morning
09:40and had forgotten to transfer the poppy from his old suit,
09:43but then one of his aides said he actually bought the suit
09:45the previous week.
09:46See, I think I know what's happened.
09:48Yeah.
09:49So David Lammy, he's down at Taylor's.
09:50He's on the phone to work.
09:52He's looking down at the church going,
09:53no, just let them out.
09:54No, let...
09:55You've got to...
09:56LAUGHTER
09:57You've got to let them out a bit and then there you go.
09:59That's the problem.
10:00I think it's very unfair that...
10:03So basically what's happened
10:05is David Lammy's forgotten to put a poppy on a suit.
10:08Yeah.
10:09And then he said...
10:10Well, and then so people had a go at him.
10:12Yeah.
10:13And then he said,
10:14January, I bought the suit that day.
10:15And then people have said, what the fuck are you doing buying a suit
10:19on the day you do your first ever PMQs and someone's been released
10:22from prison.
10:23Yeah.
10:24And then his aides have said he didn't buy it that day at all,
10:27haven't they?
10:28Yeah.
10:29Is that right?
10:30Yeah.
10:31So he can't win?
10:32Yeah.
10:33That's not fair.
10:34He'll see.
10:35I'm just...
10:36Why is he at Mossbros?
10:38The morning of fucking PMQs?
10:41Like, that is not how you operate.
10:43They're looking at him going, you're on stage in an hour and a half.
10:47Why is he at Mossbros?
10:50And they're like, you've left your poppy.
10:52He's like, too late, I'm going to the Houses of Parliament.
10:55He then evaded multiple questions about the prisoner releases
10:58and decided not to return to make a statement about it
11:00after reportedly being advised by colleagues
11:02it would be career suicide.
11:04You know you've had a bad first day on the job
11:06when you leave the room, say, oh, I might duck back for a sec,
11:09and your colleagues go, no, that would be career suicide.
11:12Well, do you know why he didn't go back?
11:13Oh, sorry.
11:14No, no, no, go, go, go.
11:15Well, the reason he didn't go back...
11:16Yep.
11:17..he had to go and settle his bill at Mossbros.
11:20Career suicides, like, that's a political equivalent
11:22of saying, I'd give that five minutes if I were you.
11:24By the way, I can't believe they went with career suicide
11:26and not, like, a lamby to the slaughter.
11:31I think we're doing lamby puns, can I offer on the suit
11:34a mutton dress?
11:35I can't offer.
11:38I think, like, things are just going so badly
11:41for Labour, aren't they?
11:42It's going so badly that I've heard that Keir Starmer
11:45is going to be that United fan,
11:47and he said that he's not going to have a haircut
11:49until they go five days without fucking up.
11:52This is what I think he looks like at the moment.
11:54LAUGHTER
11:59So, look, why is all this happening?
12:01Prisons were already under strain when Labour came into power,
12:03so they brought in an early release scheme
12:05to ease the pressure.
12:06Now, unfortunately, the system can't cope
12:08with the amount of people being released,
12:09and as you can see from this helpful graph,
12:11accidental prison releases have gone through the roof.
12:14Although some of them walked out the doors
12:16and a few climbed over the wall.
12:17Hey!
12:19Both of the men who were released are now back in prison,
12:21but yesterday one of them told ITV News
12:23he was handing himself back in,
12:25and their cameras captured the moment it happened
12:28in this cheeky video.
12:29There he is.
12:33There's a massive irony in the fact that I...
12:38He's struggling to get back in.
12:40Look!
12:41He goes and tries and says,
12:42No, that door don't work.
12:43LAUGHTER
12:44He walks back in with a cigarette
12:46and then he gets an extra year for smoking inside.
12:48LAUGHTER
12:49It looked like he was entering the Big Brother house.
12:52LAUGHTER
12:53Look, the problems with the PRISM system...
12:55PRISM system.
12:56The problems with the PRISM system
12:57are reflected in the health system,
12:58the education system,
12:59and a lot of the UK's public services
13:01that simply need more funding.
13:03But how is Rachel Reeves going to pay for all this?
13:06Clearly, the Chancellor's got a juggling act on her hands
13:09and a lot of eggs in her basket.
13:11So what better way to demonstrate that
13:12than with an actual juggler and actual egg?
13:15APPLAUSE
13:19Hi.
13:20APPLAUSE
13:23Now...
13:25The Prime Minister has placed his trust in Rachel Reeves...
13:28Can I just say I'm so excited for this moment?
13:31LAUGHTER
13:33The Prime Minister has placed his trust in Rachel Reeves
13:35to deliver a budget that balances the books.
13:37But she's got to keep a whole lot of other things in hand as well.
13:39Firstly, she needs to find a way to fund crumbling public services.
13:45But she also needs to abide by her own fiscal rules.
13:48Oh, my word.
13:49Plus, she's dealing with an economy reeling from a pandemic
13:52and a global economic crisis.
13:54And she's trying to feed off threats from reform and the Greens.
13:57All while trying not to break the manifesto promise
14:00of not raising taxes.
14:02Problem is, if she drops just one of these,
14:04kids will end up with egg all over his face.
14:07Oh!
14:08Oh!
14:09Oh!
14:10Oh!
14:11Oh!
14:12Oh!
14:13Get them on him!
14:15Just him in the face!
14:17LAUGHTER
14:18Oh!
14:19Oh!
14:20Oh!
14:21Oh!
14:22Oh, no!
14:23What is going on?
14:24By the way, do not lift those goggles up.
14:25I saw that episode of Biker Grove.
14:27LAUGHTER
14:28All right, let's welcome tonight's guest,
14:29social media star G.K. Barrie,
14:30social media star and comedian Judy Love,
14:31and social media star and leader of the Green Party,
14:32Zach Polanski.
14:33What am I doing?
14:34What am I doing?
14:35What am I doing with my life?
14:36Oh!
14:37Oh, no!
14:38What is going on?
14:39By the way, do not lift those goggles up.
14:40I saw that episode of Biker Grove.
14:41LAUGHTER
14:42All right, let's welcome tonight's guest,
14:43social media star G.K. Barrie,
14:44social media star and comedian Judy Love,
14:46and social media star and leader of the Green Party,
14:48Zach Polanski.
14:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:51What am I doing?
14:52What am I doing with my life?
14:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:55What am I doing with my life?
14:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:58Zach, firstly, I apologise for doing that in front of a vegan.
15:13I was going to say.
15:14Sorry.
15:15Now, this is the first time you've been on the show,
15:17but it's not the first time you've been at the show.
15:19No, I've been in the audience twice, actually,
15:21in the last ten years.
15:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
15:24I've got a warning, though.
15:27A warning.
15:28Yeah.
15:29I was sat there laughing at the jokes,
15:30I didn't think a few years later I'd be a party leader,
15:32so...
15:33Yeah.
15:34You want to be...
15:35Wait, is that West Streeting over there?
15:36LAUGHTER
15:37You want to be careful admitting that you've taken free tickets,
15:39mate.
15:40LAUGHTER
15:41Old free gear, kid, don't give it back, Zach.
15:44It's all fine.
15:45You're all right, I've got to watch that trap.
15:46Grace, how do you feel about Labour's week?
15:48It's been a lot.
15:50It feels a little bit like with the budget,
15:52you know, when you've done bad on an exam
15:55and you go home to your parents and you go,
15:57it was so bad, I'm going to be living on the streets.
16:01Yeah.
16:02And then when you get, like, a C, it's like,
16:03oh, it wasn't too bad, do you know what I mean?
16:05Yeah.
16:06You try and make it seem worse than it actually is.
16:08Yeah, right.
16:09Yeah.
16:10Judy?
16:11Yeah.
16:12They're stuck.
16:13You know.
16:14Tell it, Judy Tom.
16:15I mean, you know, they're just...
16:16Come on, let's go.
16:17They're just...
16:18They're just...
16:19They're just chatting, they're chatting.
16:21There's so much chatting there and it was...
16:23It's almost like when you go on a date with a man for the fourth time
16:26and he still don't want to commit and he's just chatting a bag of foolishness.
16:30That's what it felt like.
16:31It's like, what is this?
16:32What's going on?
16:33How bad is it going to be?
16:34Are we going to get the ting or not?
16:35What's happening?
16:36What are we moving to?
16:38I thought we were just going for dinner, Judy.
16:40Well...
16:41Zach, what were your thoughts on it?
16:43Well, I was going to give political analysis but they're just chatting actually.
16:46It doesn't matter.
16:47It's just there's always tricky decisions, aren't they?
16:49But they're tricky decisions for people in poverty, for people who are unemployed,
16:53for disabled people.
16:54When are they going to be tricky decisions for multi-millionaires and billionaires
16:57and actually tax for rich?
16:59What?
17:00What is that?
17:02What is that?
17:03I mean, show me a man that's come on live TV to get some votes!
17:16I think we've got a new double act, haven't we?
17:20Now look, Zach, we do want to give you a test tonight,
17:22but in order to prepare for that test I need Alex and Josh to head over there
17:25and do a couple of things.
17:26Alex, put on some leathers, Josh, strap on a helmet.
17:29They look determined.
17:30Who's putting on leathers?
17:31Alex.
17:32What kind of test is this?
17:34Well, Sky News said that you give authentic answers and I know you like that in a politician,
17:40Judy, right?
17:41Yeah.
17:42So I'm trying to look for my question, sorry.
17:43Yeah.
17:44You like an authentic answer coming from a politician?
17:46Of course.
17:47The truth, nothing but the truth.
17:48You know, I want you to bear your soul before it comes out in the newspapers a year later.
17:53Do you understand what I'm saying?
17:54Like, I want you to be real with us.
17:56Yeah.
17:57And have some kind of connection.
17:58Mmm.
17:59So, we're going to test you on that in a quick fire prime ministerial press conference.
18:03Let's do this.
18:05I'm going to do the wrong one.
18:06Okay, ready?
18:07So, Zach.
18:08What are you doing with his mates?
18:09Sorry.
18:10Sorry.
18:11We're going to throw some questions at you.
18:12You have to answer them without waffling.
18:13Okay.
18:14No waffle bombs.
18:15If you do waffle to punish you as leader of the Green Party, Josh and Alex are going to
18:32rev a motorbike and release pollution into the atmosphere.
18:35Wait.
18:36By the way, how much does he look like the crazy frog?
18:40All right.
18:41So, I'm going to start.
18:42Enough already.
18:43I'm going to start.
18:44If you waffle, they rev.
18:45Here we go.
18:46Jacob said, with Labour reform and the Tories all attacking disabled people, how would the
19:00Greens do disability differently?
19:01Nothing about us without us.
19:02We need to make sure that disabled people are at the centre of policy around disabled people.
19:05Actually, if we create better housing, if we make sure our transport is more accessible,
19:09that's good for everyone, especially disabled people.
19:12Okay.
19:13Well done.
19:14Grace.
19:15Okay.
19:17Who would you cast to play climate change in a movie?
19:20Nigel Farage is full of hot air anyway.
19:22Oh!
19:23Okay.
19:24Is there a horn on this?
19:27Horatio.
19:28It's more stressful than question time, I'm just saying.
19:30Horatio said, why is the Green Party so firmly against nuclear energy?
19:34Because Sizewell C has taken like 27 years to build.
19:37It's like creating the fax machine right now.
19:39We need to invest in renewable wind and solar.
19:41Alex.
19:42Yeah, I've got a big one for you.
19:44So, wind farms, trees, pandas, snog, marry, kill.
19:47Go.
19:48Snog for pandas.
19:49What?
19:50What were the other ones?
19:51Wind farms.
19:52Wind farms and trees.
19:53So, you've got to marry one and kill one.
19:56Marry the pandas.
19:57I don't want to kill any wind farms.
19:59I don't want to kill anyone.
20:02Have you ever watched porn somewhere you shouldn't by accident?
20:05Obviously.
20:06Oh, it is.
20:17Cinnabon said, many young people feel disconnected from politics.
20:20What do you think are the best ways to get them more involved
20:22and have their voices heard?
20:23Yeah, stop saying we're inspired by young people.
20:25Let's actually help them to get into positions of power.
20:27We need to invest in young people, give them the resources,
20:29the confidence and the skills to actually represent themselves.
20:32Great.
20:33Yes!
20:34Do you think you'd be better as a traitor or a faithful?
20:42Claudia Winkleman.
20:43I like it when she just shouts at people.
20:45I still can't believe Alan killed Paloma.
20:48Kai said, could you clarify, because some are confused,
20:50what the Green Party's stance is on NATO?
20:52Yeah, Donald Trump is an unreliable ally.
20:55He's someone who wants to annex Greenland.
20:57I want to look at a piece of diplomacy.
21:00Working with our European neighbours, that's very threatening.
21:03Grace.
21:05Have you ever sacked off a paper straw for a plastic straw, be honest?
21:10No.
21:12Who does that?
21:13I have.
21:14Sorry.
21:15We need to talk.
21:16Final question from Marty.
21:17Marty said, do penguins have knees?
21:19Do penguins have knees?
21:20Yeah.
21:21If they choose to, however they self-identify.
21:24LAUGHTER
21:29Well, that's Laura.
21:30Last week for you after the break.
21:31We'll try more of your questions at Zach,
21:33and we'll check in on the new mayor of New York.
21:35We'll see you in a little bit.
21:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:54Welcome back to Last Leg.
21:55We're joined by GK Barry, Judy Love, and leader of the Green Party,
21:58Zach Polanski.
21:59People have been messaging questions for Zach.
22:01Jack said, what's your go-to Tesco meal deal?
22:05Hmm.
22:06The vegan kind of hummus falafel thing.
22:08God, I am the stereotype, aren't I?
22:11That's all right, mate.
22:12Someone said, has Zach ever smoked green,
22:14and if so, was it organic?
22:18All I'll say is we need to legalise and regulate.
22:20We shouldn't be putting people in prison for cannabis.
22:22What?
22:23Hey!
22:26Alex, do you have a question?
22:27Yeah, I've got a big one for you.
22:28So, I've heard the thing that, you know, years ago,
22:31years and years ago...
22:32I don't know where this is going.
22:33Well, look, there was a story that you'd said
22:35you could make women's boobs bigger through hypnotherapy.
22:38Really?
22:39I know the thing is that you've apologised for that.
22:41Can I just say, your two heads moved at such a speed?
22:43LAUGHTER
22:46The big thing is...
22:47I don't need them any bigger boobs.
22:50I know that was kind of exclusive to boobs,
22:52but how are you with hands?
22:54LAUGHTER
23:02It's funny, because in the green room,
23:03you were talking about other body parts.
23:05LAUGHTER
23:07I think Brook has just met his favourite politician.
23:18LAUGHTER
23:20Captain Number said, what are your thoughts going into COP30?
23:22How would our participation be different with you leading the UK?
23:25Well, we need to show global leadership. It's outrageous.
23:27We've got a Prime Minister who says that he wants the greenest government ever,
23:30but he's still drilling for oil and gas, opening new roads, opening new airports.
23:35We also need to recognise that the global south and countries like Jamaica
23:38that have just suffered a horrendous hurricane, we have a contribution to that
23:42and we need to be taxing the fossil fuel companies, the oil and gas companies,
23:45and making sure we keep fossil fuels where they belong, in the ground.
23:48Well, I think it's...
23:51APPLAUSE
23:54I think it's a bit presumptuous that Zach thought that question was for him
23:57rather than the rest of it.
23:59LAUGHTER
24:00There are rumours that the reason Keir Starmer has gone to the COP climate summit
24:02in Brazil is that he's worried about losing voters to you.
24:05Do you think that's the reason he's gone?
24:07I think he's just gone for a break.
24:09I think for him, hearing about how the earth is on fire
24:13is probably better than his usual day-to-day, isn't it?
24:16LAUGHTER
24:17And look, I don't understand why we keep having COP summits.
24:19Like, we know the planet's fucked.
24:21Do we need to get together every year to confirm it?
24:23That's like me and Alex going to the doctor every six months
24:25to see if our feet are still missing.
24:27Yeah.
24:28And to go so far.
24:30What the hell? You can't do it by Zoom. What's going on?
24:32Yeah, right.
24:33Yes, I find that mad to Zoom. Thank you.
24:36CEO of Zooms in the audience.
24:38LAUGHTER
24:39No, that's what... I don't understand why they don't do it.
24:41Like, you can do climate awareness on Zoom.
24:43You can do speed awareness on Zoom, apparently.
24:46I've heard.
24:47LAUGHTER
24:50Do you know what I think?
24:51And you have to show your face.
24:53LAUGHTER
24:54I think we would take COP much more seriously
24:56if we counted down rather than up.
24:58Like, if it started at COP 20 and then it went 19, 18
25:01and all the way down to one.
25:02Also, every time I look at you two there,
25:04I'm going, Prime Minister, Deputy.
25:06LAUGHTER
25:08This week, Labor announced a shake-up of the national curriculum.
25:10As all primary school children in England are going to be taught
25:12about topics like global warming, how to spot fake news
25:14and how mortgages work.
25:16Huh?
25:17Even considering an A-level in AI.
25:19How are they not calling that an AI level?
25:21LAUGHTER
25:23But I don't... I'm... I don't think...
25:25I don't think it can work.
25:27Cos I think school is the biggest hotbed of misinformation
25:31in the world.
25:32Anyone who's been to school knows it.
25:34I was 14.
25:35I was in music.
25:36My mate John told me that when he ejaculated it,
25:38it hit the scene and I believed it for 15 years.
25:40LAUGHTER
25:41And thought that was my true disability.
25:43LAUGHTER
25:44That would not be a disability to make you a superhero, Bridget.
25:48LAUGHTER
25:49What a pip test.
25:51LAUGHTER
25:52How do you guys feel about this one?
26:01I think this is great because obviously I know we're all
26:04going to die by robots.
26:06They're going to take over, blah, blah.
26:08However, I never know what to buy people for Christmas.
26:12So, like, for my mum, 65...
26:14Sorry.
26:1565-year-old woman, loves a bit of gardening,
26:18loves home comforts.
26:19What do I buy her for Christmas?
26:21AI's got it.
26:22Yeah.
26:23Flowcooker.
26:24LAUGHTER
26:25I know what I'm buying everyone.
26:28I feel like it depends on the age that you're learning it
26:30at school.
26:31Yeah.
26:32Like, if you're in primary school,
26:33you should still be going under the, you know,
26:35the parachute.
26:36Yeah.
26:37But...
26:38Making paper roll by rubbing a teabag on it.
26:40Yeah.
26:41We're going to lose that.
26:42Exactly that.
26:43But it is beneficial.
26:44I love AI.
26:45Oh.
26:46My job's going to be taken by AI.
26:47Who is AI to you?
26:48I'm fine with it.
26:49OK, yeah.
26:50I like AI.
26:51I don't know.
26:52I don't know about this whole thing.
26:53If you're depressed, you go on AI and you go
26:55feeling a little bit down right now,
26:57and they give you really good advice.
26:58Yeah, same for your single.
26:59And it's for free.
27:00Well, I didn't want to say it.
27:01Yeah.
27:02But, yes.
27:03I don't know about the government.
27:04I don't know if they teach these kids anything.
27:06I think them teachers have mortgages and all the rest of it.
27:08It's like maths, GCSEs.
27:10Yeah.
27:11They're never going to be able to use it with all this interest rate.
27:13These kids are not going to be able to get a mortgage at all.
27:15Do you know what I mean?
27:16And what they should be teaching them is how to spot a fake politician.
27:19That's what they should be teaching the kids.
27:21It's interesting, because Rachel Reeves did...
27:24Thank you again.
27:25He's a fan.
27:26Rachel Reeves did a course called PPE at Oxbridge,
27:29that also Jeremy Hunt did and Ed Balls did it.
27:31I think we need to rename it to, like, Piss Poor Economics.
27:34Wow!
27:35Wow!
27:36Wow!
27:41Could I just check who you've got writing for you?
27:44I was going to say!
27:45We could do with them on this show.
27:47Kay said, have you spoken to Zoran Mamdani?
27:50So, if you don't know, New York elected a new mayor this week,
27:53the 34-year-old Mamdani, who becomes the youngest mayor of New York
27:56in over a century, as well as the first Muslim.
27:59Some of his pledges included making the city affordable,
28:02raising the minimum wage, childcare for everyone who needs it,
28:04and making public buses free.
28:06Donald Trump called him a communist.
28:08Most of Europe called him centre-right.
28:10Mamdani immediately set this empowered challenge to Donald Trump.
28:15So, Donald Trump, since I know you're watching,
28:19I have four words for you.
28:24Turn the volume up!
28:30I'm not sure if that's a call to arms
28:32or just something you say to, like, an 80-year-old man
28:34watching television anyway.
28:36You know what I mean?
28:37I kind of feel like he was like,
28:38Donald, turn the volume up!
28:41No, no, hit HDMI 1!
28:44It's the wrong remote, Donald!
28:45You're pointing your panic button at the television!
28:48I mean, there was four other words he could have used, but hey.
28:51Have you spoken to Mamdani?
28:53Our teams are speaking, but that's a man who knows
28:55if penguins have knees or not, he wouldn't have got caught out on TV.
28:57Once again, it was a question for me!
28:59Sorry, Josh?
29:00I was saying it was a question for me again.
29:02Zach jumped in.
29:03I haven't spoken to him, no.
29:05Mamdani has already established a different relationship
29:08to the press than Donald Trump.
29:10You'll see from this endearing moment of him getting star-struck
29:13by Sky News.
29:14First, I just have to say I've spent many days in my youth
29:19watching the transfer window close final hours on Sky News,
29:22so it's a pleasure to have you here.
29:23Yeah, I'm an Arsenal fan.
29:25I have to be honest, when you said you were from Sky News,
29:29I just got very excited.
29:30Could you repeat the question one more time?
29:31LAUGHTER
29:36I mean, I love him.
29:37Yeah.
29:38I think it's nice for him, like, for us Arsenal fans,
29:40for him to have been in the lead and not finished second.
29:42LAUGHTER
29:44He does that with all the channels.
29:46A question from Channel 4, oh, I loved Eurotrash.
29:48LAUGHTER
29:50What would you ask him if you had the chance?
29:52Oh, a big one would be that big Christmas tree
29:56they have in the Rockefeller Centre.
29:58What are they doing with it after?
29:59LAUGHTER
30:00I'll take it off.
30:01And also the big one, I think, for any mayor of New York,
30:03100-foot marshmallow man comes walking through the streets,
30:06what are you doing?
30:07Are you calling the Ghostbusters
30:08or are you having them incarcerated?
30:09LAUGHTER
30:10Nice.
30:11And Daniel had something in common with Keir Starmer,
30:13then, if they meet, because this week it was revealed
30:15Sir Keir accepted a personal necklace from Donald Trump
30:17but turned down an Arsenal shirt gifted to him
30:20by former manager Arsene Wenger.
30:22He can't even be an Arsenal fan properly.
30:24LAUGHTER
30:27Is that appropriate, Gib?
30:28I think that's really romantic,
30:30that he accepted, like, a necklace.
30:32Right.
30:33You know what I mean?
30:34I feel like that's really sweet,
30:36that he accepted the necklace and not the Arsenal shirt.
30:39I think Donald's is mistress.
30:41LAUGHTER
30:42The mad thing about those gifts,
30:44so he gave him cowboy boots,
30:46but they were for his wife.
30:48Yeah.
30:49It's quite a weird thing to give, like,
30:51buy another bloke, give another bloke's wife.
30:53But don't you have to pay for the presents you get?
30:55Is that not what it is?
30:56Like, he'll give you presents,
30:57but don't you have to pay for it?
30:58Over a certain amount, yeah.
30:59If you keep them.
31:00It's not on.
31:01Why would you pay for your own gift?
31:03That's inflation.
31:04You could get a free ticket to the last lunch
31:06on Friday night.
31:07Yeah.
31:08Mamdani, by the way, the new New York mayor,
31:10was also a rapper,
31:12who once went by the name of Mr Cardamom
31:14and released this catchy track in 2019
31:16about his grandmother.
31:18What is crazy?
31:19Can we just acknowledge that was only six years ago?
31:20I was waiting for you to say something like 1998.
31:24I fear he's lost his virginity not long ago.
31:25What, six years ago?
31:26Yeah, that's mental.
31:27Imagine rapping about your nan.
31:28Do you know what?
31:29Do you know what?
31:30When you're rapping about your nan, it's less...
31:31And you'll enjoy this.
31:32It's less hip-hop.
31:33More hip-hop.
31:34Nice.
31:35Nice.
31:36Nice.
31:37Nice.
31:38Nice.
31:39I'm glad the comedian got the grade.
31:40and not the politician.
31:41I'm glad the comedian got the groan and not the politician.
31:43I did.
31:44I did.
31:45I was waiting for you to say something like 1998.
31:46Do you know what I mean?
31:47I fear he's lost his virginity not long ago.
31:49What, six years ago?
31:50Yeah, that's mental.
31:51Imagine rapping about your nan.
31:53Do you know what?
31:54When you're rapping about your nan,
31:55it's less...
31:56And you'll enjoy this.
31:58It's less hip-hop, more hip-hop.
32:00Nice.
32:02APPLAUSE
32:07I'm glad the comedian got the groan and not the politician.
32:10Yeah, I mean is there a chance you're gonna follow in his footsteps a little bit of rap coming from you is that question for me or Josh
32:23Well, listen, you're all over the social media like people a lot of people compare you and Mamdani, right?
32:27Yeah, I mean, I'd love it since I've become leader in the last two months. We've doubled our membership
32:31We just had a poll yesterday that posed above the Labour government now
32:34I think some of that social media
32:36But actually what people get wrong with Zoran is it's not just for social media. It's for message
32:40It's about lowering bills taxing billionaires and making a city everyone can afford to live in
32:45Yeah, I want to make a country we can all afford to live in Wow, so
32:55He's got the chat in
33:07So you've made a whole bunch of popular posts. Here's one of the eye-catching versions. I love this one. I love this one
33:12Okay, this is a I think Judy's about to fall out of love with him
33:36You can't tell me nothing
33:38I've been to track, I've been to track, I've been to track, I've been to track
33:50All right, Judy, I mean, you're loving what you're seeing so far. What would be your advice to Zack?
33:55Do you know what the thing is with the New York mayor? How do you say his name? Sorry? Zoran
34:01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's really with the people and he's got a lot of rhythm in his hips
34:08John is that I'll say so I feel like you need to get with the people and get some rhythm in your hips
34:12Like if you've got the rhythm, you know, your buddy, then I think people will accept you. Okay, do you want to?
34:18I'm worried about where this is going
34:20You know what?
34:22DJ run the track
34:24You give up my now and tata
34:25Miss a mistake
34:26Ready? Ready?
34:27Ready?
34:28Ready?
34:29Ready?
34:30Ready?
34:31Fuck!
34:32Where's the hose now?
34:33Wait
34:34Sit over here
34:36Oh!
34:37Do you know that?
34:39Do you know that?
34:40Do you know that?
34:41Oh!
34:42What?
34:43What?
34:44What?
34:45What?
34:46What?
34:47Well, everyone, last week for you after the break, we'll take a look at the new genre of
34:50Christmas night and we'll stick to the tradition by ending the show with our version. We'll see you in a little bit
34:54Woo!
34:55Woo!
34:56Right!
35:09Oh, sorry, honestly. Thank you.
35:11Welcome back to Last Leg. We're joined by G.K. Barry, Judy Love and Zach Polanski.
35:15Oh, we've got questions. Another question for Zach.
35:17Which politician would you least trust to look after your house plants?
35:21Um...
35:23Boris Johnson.
35:24I don't want to trust him to look after anything.
35:26Yeah, all right.
35:27Well, he's doing all right with the 12 kids.
35:29That's true.
35:30Just a quick update.
35:32Up to getting plants and kids.
35:35A quick update on the multi-million pound heist that took place at the famous Louvre Museum in Paris a few weeks ago.
35:40Oh, yes.
35:41This week it was revealed a security test in 2014 found that the password for the server that housed the surveillance system was Louvre.
35:50Oh, my gosh.
35:52That's not why it got broken into, is it? It's because the window was left open.
35:57Isn't it?
35:58Yes.
35:59Yeah.
36:00It's OK. They've updated it now. It's Louvre 123.
36:03Now, every year John Lewis release a Christmas ad and every year we try to remake it.
36:08This week the department store released their ad about a dad and a teenage son connecting through music.
36:13And it resonated mainly with dads and teenage sons.
36:16Here's a quick look at the festive ad.
36:20Did I grab another glasses?
36:23One, two, three, four, five, six...
36:25I'll be down, be down where the love is.
36:41Well, I'll be...
36:44I'll be down, be down where the love is.
36:50Why don't you take my hand, come a bite, come out of the woods.
37:03Why everything you give, so will I give something to do.
37:10Deep down where the love lives.
37:15Are there tears, are there tears over here?
37:20I mean...
37:21You can't, you can't.
37:22It did get me a little bit.
37:24It's not Alan Carr at the end of the trailer.
37:27We've had different...
37:28This is for Paloma!
37:30Slow down the music.
37:32No, we've had different ideas.
37:33I thought it was his son handing him this vinyl.
37:37And in that club it was only men.
37:39So I thought he was gay.
37:41So I thought it was his son going...
37:44I know you're gay.
37:46Yes.
37:47So that's why I thought, oh, that's nice.
37:49But I think you can't have an advert like...
37:51If he's not gay, that was pathetic then.
37:53Because it's boring.
37:55I want a man who's alone.
37:57He's got no Christmas presents to open.
38:00I want tearjerkers.
38:01He was alone in his spirit.
38:03This is the heartbreaking story.
38:05It's a sad story about a dad who used to go out and do pills.
38:10Yeah.
38:11And now his son...
38:12And now his son's given me the vinyl and he's gone,
38:14Well, this isn't any good because I don't do MDMA anymore.
38:16But after Boxing Day, it's going to be the come down of a lifetime.
38:19I just think that only works with that sort of music.
38:22Yeah.
38:23Like for his generation, that kind of very...
38:24That advert isn't as endearing for us lot that we're into our early 2000s hip-hop.
38:29Yeah.
38:30Imagine that advert with my neck and my back.
38:31Yeah.
38:32Or candy shop.
38:35It would have worked.
38:37I mean, it did get a little bit PC.
38:39There was a lot of people talking about it.
38:40It was an all-white family.
38:42And I was like, that wasn't a problem for me.
38:44What really got me is that Thomas had rhythm.
38:46He was competing with Zack with them dancers.
38:48We're going to have our version of that ad at the end of the show.
38:52But right now, it's time to bring on this week's mystery guest.
38:54Ooh.
38:55Grace, Judy and Zack have to try and work out how they're related to the news.
38:57So, can we have this week's mystery guest, please?
39:00Oh!
39:01Mystery guest.
39:03Mystery guest.
39:05I wanna get close to you.
39:08What a beautiful girl!
39:12Josh Alex, who's the...
39:13OK, this is Gloria, and she's been in the news this week.
39:16But why?
39:17Can we have the dramatic lighting change, please?
39:20So, how's Gloria been in the news?
39:23Because after her tweet went viral,
39:25she found herself in charge of her 300-member all-female conga line.
39:29Was it B, because after her TikTok went viral,
39:32she has found herself in charge of her 300-member all-female playing spotting club.
39:36Or C, after her Instagram went viral,
39:39she has found herself in charge of her 300-member all-female Judy Love fan club.
39:45I know this.
39:46I mean, OK, I've got...
39:48Let me see, cos, you know, I'm not saying it's probably the last one, but...
39:53Have you got tickets from my tour all about love?
39:57That's...
39:58No, you ain't my phone girl.
39:59I...
40:02I've seen you on my TikTok, and I think it's the...
40:05Conga.
40:06It's the plane spotting.
40:07I know you invited a group of people to the plane spotting.
40:10It's that, I'm telling you.
40:12I just want to say 300 isn't enough for a Judy Love fan club.
40:15Yeah.
40:16Oh!
40:17He has got the moves!
40:19All right, we'll reveal...
40:22Making sure I've got a vote by the end of the evening.
40:25We'll reveal the mystery guest for you after the break,
40:27and we'll unveil our own Christmas ad.
40:29We'll see if they're right.
40:30See you in a little bit.
40:31APPLAUSE
40:32LAUGHTER
40:33APPLAUSE
40:49Wow.
40:51Ah!
40:52Uh, Alex, those hands.
40:53I'll tell you what, you ain't half good, mate.
40:55LAUGHTER
40:57I'm going on the last leg, they said.
40:59It'll be fun, they said.
41:00The Hamptons stand by my ankles as well.
41:03Welcome back to The Last League.
41:05We're joined by GK Barry, Judy Love and Zach Polanski.
41:07Before the break, we challenged our guest to work out
41:09how this person was connected to the news.
41:11Can we have the options again, please?
41:13Yes. So, has Gloria been in the news?
41:16Because her tweet went viral as she found herself
41:18in charge of a 300-member all-female conga line.
41:21Is it because her... What is it?
41:24Tell us about the social media.
41:26Basically, she's in charge of a 300-member all-female plane-spotting club.
41:31Sorry, these hands are too... I'm not used to working with them.
41:34Or is it because she's in charge of a 300-member all-female Judy Love fan club?
41:42OK, and you... Have you come to a decision?
41:44It's got to be... It's the plane.
41:47I know it's the plane. It is the plane.
41:50I mean, if you've seen it, it's a problem with a mystery guest, right?
41:52Trace, try and get some drama in it.
41:54Oh, my God, I think it is the conga.
41:57I'm going to go with my ego and be like,
41:59obviously, it's the fan group and you missed out zero
42:02and it should be 3,000. That's what I'm going to go with.
42:05All right, Gloria, can you reveal the answer, please?
42:08I started an all-female plane-spotting group.
42:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:13Why? What brought it about?
42:23So I have a love for aviation and I was posting videos of myself
42:26plane-spotting at London City Airport and places like that
42:29and I had a lot of traction.
42:31People asking me, you know, host an event, when are you going next?
42:34And so I did, posted that and then that went viral
42:37and that's how the club started.
42:39And are there a lot of women out there that want to be plane-spotters
42:42but they're put off by the fact that it's mainly normally men?
42:45More than I expected.
42:46A lot of women saying that they used to do it with their grandparents as kids.
42:50People saying that they want to do it but they're nervous.
42:52So I'm really surprised by the reaction but in a really good way.
42:56Oh, that's really cool.
42:57And I love the idea that male pilots,
42:59now knowing that they might be all-female plane-spotting groups,
43:01might just land and, like, give the wings a little bit.
43:05And, Gloria, thank you so much. Good luck with the club.
43:15Josh has been soft-launching the last seven days.
43:17What have you got?
43:18Would you like to see an unfortunate clip illustrating
43:20why estate agents shouldn't take their shoes off?
43:23What I came here for.
43:25Yes, please.
43:35Do you know what, though?
43:36If he's a good estate agent,
43:37he should have looked up and gone,
43:38I mean, quick access to the basement?
43:46Simple question.
43:47Do you know what, Zach?
43:48One last question.
43:49Yes or no?
43:50Do you think Kim Kardashian knows what a baked potato is?
43:53Absolutely not.
43:54OK, let's find out with this endearing clip.
43:58You're a big fan of jacket potato, aren't you?
44:01Who?
44:02Do you like a jacket potato?
44:05What is that?
44:06I really want to know if you like a jacket potato.
44:08I don't know what that is.
44:09I don't know what that is.
44:10I don't know what a jacket potato is.
44:11I don't know what a jacket potato is.
44:12You don't know what a jacket potato is?
44:13What is a jacket potato?
44:14It's a potato cooked in the skin.
44:16Oh, I love that.
44:17Yeah.
44:18What's your filling?
44:19What filling do you like in a jacket?
44:21Sour cream and butter.
44:22Oh, sour cream and butter.
44:24Maybe bacon bits.
44:25Oh, lovely.
44:26You're making me feel angry.
44:27All right, we are about to unveil our annual version of the John Lewis Christmas ad, but
44:34before we do, would you please thank our guests, GK Barry, Judy Love, and Zach Polanski, and my
44:47co-host Josh Whittacombe and Alex Brooker.
44:50We'll be back next week with comedians Rosie Jones and Mike Wozniak and author and
44:56presenter Richard Osmond, but right now it's time to show you our version of this year's
45:00Christmas ad.
45:01It celebrates two young boys connecting with an older man through the power of music.
45:05Thanks for watching The Last League.
45:07My name's Adam Hills.
45:08See you next week for The Next League.
45:13Oh, I know.
45:14What about a sketch about me winning the Paris Outing Tennis World Championships?
45:17Oh, I could do a song.
45:26Thank you for letting us be ourselves.
45:38So don't mind if I repeat myself.
45:39These simple lines be good for your health.
45:41To keep them crime rhymes on the shelf.
45:44Thank you for letting us be ourselves
45:49So don't mind me if I repeat myself
45:51These simple lines be good for your health
45:53To keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
45:55Live love life like you just don't care
45:585,000 leaders never scared
46:00Raymond knows it's the moment they fear
46:03Get up, still appears what I dare
46:05Get up, throw your hands in the air
46:07Get up, ensure no fear
46:10Get up if y'all really care
46:12He ain't 20 years, no fear
46:14Yeah, that's right
46:15Public enemy number one in New York
46:17Public enemy number one in Philly
46:19Public enemy number one in Philly
46:21Public enemy number one in Philly
46:21Public enemy number one in Philly
46:24Public enemy number one in Philly
46:27Public enemy number ONE in Philly
46:28King Roundtable
46:29Public enemy number one in Philly
46:31Planning number one in Philly
46:33Public enemy number one in Philly
46:34Good change room
46:34esqt600
46:34Peace
46:36Caption glory
46:37Awardidas
46:38Uqt600
46:39Vince
46:43主
46:44Save
46:45Web
46:46Mail
46:47Good for your health
46:48To keep them crown rhymes on the shelf
46:51Live, love, life like you just don't care
46:535,000 litres, never scared
46:56Bring the noise, it's the moment they feared
46:59Get up, steal a beautiful idea
47:01I told you we should have just got him the tennis racket
47:05Get up, just like that
47:07Get up, just like that
47:09Get up, just like that
47:12Get up, throw your hands in the air
47:16Get up, just like that
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