- 3 months ago
Emotionally Unavailable
December 7, 2025
https://www.wordupinc.org/
Watch Past Services/Classes at https://www.dailymotion.com/wordupinc
Matthew 10:16
2 Corinthians 6:14
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++++++++++++++++++
December 7, 2025
https://www.wordupinc.org/
Watch Past Services/Classes at https://www.dailymotion.com/wordupinc
Matthew 10:16
2 Corinthians 6:14
++++++++++++++++++
🎙️ New to streaming or looking to level up? Check out StreamYard and get $10 discount! 😍 https://streamyard.com/pal/d/4968239415689216
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Category
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LifestyleTranscript
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07:27We're right back.
07:57We're right back.
08:27We're right back.
08:57We're right back.
09:27We're right back.
09:57All right.
10:27We're right back.
10:57What am I doing?
11:27So first of all, so first of all, so first of all, what's it means to be emotionally available?
11:57You're right, okay?
12:27You're right back.
12:57with the uncomfortable emotions.
13:27You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right.
13:57You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right.
14:27You engage, engaging in the relationship instead of avoiding the relationship.
14:34You are mentally attentive.
14:37That means you're listening and you're paying attention to a person's feelings, what they're trying to say.
14:43Even if it's someone you're at odds with, you know, being emotionally available is not shutting them down and cutting.
14:49You give them the opportunity.
14:51You give them a chance.
14:52OK, not saying it will always be that way, because sometimes people will lose access when they don't deal with how they're dealing with you.
15:01All right.
15:01And you also you do you do not avoid or dismiss the feelings of others.
15:09OK, this is being emotionally available.
15:12Emotionally available is to be able to experience emotions without being consumed by emotions.
15:23I'll say it again.
15:24Emotionally available is to be able to experience those emotions.
15:32OK, without being consumed by them.
15:36All right.
15:37And so you can do a little checkpoint, see where you, you know, mount up there, see how you align yourself in those areas, because understanding what it is to be emotionally available is very important.
15:52If you're going to understand what it is to be emotionally unavailable.
15:56All right.
15:57And that's the area that we want to kind of look into.
16:01That's the part we want to we want to check today.
16:05All right.
16:05And so let's now take a look at emotionally unavailable people, because.
16:12According to statistics, this is what most of us wind up with.
16:17And this is so crazy, because that was a study and reading.
16:21I'm like, really?
16:23Wow.
16:24Most people, that means somewhere between 80 to 85 percent of us somehow wind up with these emotionally unavailable relationships, family members, friendships.
16:40I mean, 85 percent.
16:42That's pretty much.
16:43That's all.
16:44That's a lot of us.
16:45All right.
16:46So what's it mean to be emotionally unavailable?
16:49See if you can identify or remember someone or some situation.
16:53First of all, the emotional unavailable person resists forming real emotional or genuine connections.
17:04They resist that.
17:05They're very guarded in expressing their feelings, creating barriers to intimacy, very withdrawn for that.
17:18And commitment.
17:20Commitment is like sometimes like.
17:23OK, in fact, the barrier of intimacy is meaning they are sexually, physically, but not mentally.
17:34OK.
17:35And we'll cover that some more as we go.
17:37And therefore, they're not in good at commitments.
17:40All right.
17:41All right.
17:41All right.
17:41All right.
17:41All right.
17:42The relationships are kept at a superficial level.
17:46So to avoid any deeper or real conversations and they are distant, especially if emotional intensifies or increases, then they become emotionally unavailable.
18:06They avoid seriousness in conversations, OK, they have a fear of being vulnerable due to past experiences.
18:15We can understand that leaving those in the relationship that they're with, leaving them unfulfilled as well as hurt and ignored.
18:28To be emotionally unavailable, they tend to pull away from serious conversations.
18:34They'll be jokesters and make jokes about something that you're very serious about because they don't want to get totally involved that way.
18:43So they're going to avoid it through, you know, jokes or, you know, change the subject, so to speak.
18:49All right.
18:50And so they pull away from conversations of general because the closeness makes them uncomfortable.
18:56This can manifest as very cold or aloof and detached.
19:02Their demeanor becomes defensive and shut down.
19:07The fear of getting hurt and not having their own emotional needs validated can stem from as far back as childhood to cause this kind of behavior.
19:20It causes them emotionally to be unavailable too easily.
19:26They can receive like a child, OK, because if that's where it began at childhood, then they're still that child.
19:33So like a child, children, you know, they receive, they want good stuff.
19:37They'll take whatever you give them, especially if it's, you know, all about them.
19:41But they struggle to give.
19:43I don't care how much you give a little child.
19:45You and you have to make them share.
19:47It's just that you have to make them share.
19:49You have to make them give back.
19:51And that they usually don't want to do.
19:55That makes it to be a state of emotionally immature.
19:59All right.
20:00Emotional immaturity.
20:01All right.
20:02And so this is very important because now let's look at some of the reasons why.
20:08There's always a main reason why people are what they are.
20:12So this is to help you to maybe if you found yourself into that kind of a relationship, you know someone or you are someone.
20:21And again, because the emotions have so much to do with our presence, it helps at least if we can consider why or how the person got that away other than just being frustrated and angry about them and in that relationship.
20:39So emotionally unavailable, there are some root causes that it's very serious post-trauma is such as neglect, betrayal, painful.
20:52And you say, well, I've been through all those things and I'm not, you know, emotionally unavailable.
20:57Well, that's you and you're different because some people, you know, don't do well in certain situations or they don't recover.
21:07And nobody's the same, right?
21:09Everybody's different.
21:10All right.
21:10And so, again, the post-traumas such as breakup and stress, mental health issues are very serious.
21:17Personality traits, you know, which is just that that's how they are in terms of their family dynamics.
21:27Past hurts, loss, abuse, defense, their own defense mechanism is just being unavailable.
21:37And these are childhood learned behaviors as well as, you know, family traits or environment, the way they came up and so on and so forth.
21:48So, but I say that because to be emotionally unavailable is a very serious thing when it comes to relationships.
21:56We are made up of our emotions, of our senses, that those dynamics are very important in any relationship.
22:04And when those things are not available, it becomes a serious problem.
22:11So, yes, emotionally unavailable relationships, we need to talk about it and see if we can answer the question of those who so many.
22:20I remember in even up until now who say, you know, what am I doing that's, you know, attracting this kind of relationship.
22:31All right.
22:31So, again, emotionally unavailable people, there's a lot of baggage there, a lot to unpack, and we'll see, can we answer that question?
22:43Of course, we're going to take one scripture, and I believe that will answer the question for you.
22:48You know, so, again, am I emotionally unavailable?
22:53Well, you can check that with what we just shared in terms of understanding what it is to be emotionally unavailable, as well as are you emotionally available?
23:04Are you present in the various relationships?
23:09And are you someone who seems to say, well, why am I attracting this kind of, you know, relationship?
23:16And it goes across the board, not just with spouses, but with friendships, with family members.
23:23It's a very serious situation, okay?
23:28And if we can kind of, I always say understanding is half the battle.
23:33If you can understand it, then it helps not only you, but also the person that you're dealing with, all right?
23:41All right.
23:41And, of course, the other question, do I attract?
23:44You know, am I attracting?
23:46What am I doing that's attracting this, you know, these unavailable, emotionally unavailable people, you know, whereas they're physically present but mentally absent in the relationship, all right?
23:59Are you someone who gives the most and you receive the least?
24:08It's like, you know, you're always on the giving side and not to be on the receiving side when it comes to relationships.
24:16Emotionally unavailable people truly are not attracted to you by accident but by your presence.
24:27So, what is your presence saying, okay?
24:32Let's take a look at one scripture that I believe will answer the question as to whether you're doing something to attract this kind of person and how they treat you and how they act in a relationship.
24:51Let's take a look at Matthew 10 and 16 and I believe there's a very, very simple answer to the question, okay?
25:04Matthew 10 and 16 simply says, behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves.
25:14Be therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
25:19So, you think that that's only for outreach, that's only for ministry, not so.
25:27Let's, again, not box the scriptures because in Jewish teaching, scriptures hold up to seven different meanings.
25:36In other places, it's way more than that, that each time you read it, it reveals a different meaning.
25:41This shows me that you, it's not you.
25:48You've been sent in the midst of wolves as a sheep.
25:53Guess what?
25:54A sheep doesn't have to do anything to attract a wolf, okay?
25:59Just by being a sheep, that wolf is going to come and be attracted to it.
26:05So, I think a very simple answer is you're not doing, you can't do anything to attract available, emotionally unavailable people.
26:16It's like being a sheep in the midst of wolves.
26:20You have to be wise as a serpent, okay?
26:24Harmless as a dove.
26:25He's making it very clear that you're going to watch for these types of relationships because you being likened onto a sheep and, you know, the nature of a sheep is very humble.
26:38They're very, you know, receiving, they receive.
26:42It's very important to understand that it's not you, okay?
26:49Because that was the question.
26:51What am I doing that keeps attracting these?
26:53Well, go read Matthew 10 and 16 and get a broader picture in your mind of what Jesus was saying because we just keep it always church, always, you know, in our little circle.
27:10And he's saying so much more.
27:13It broadens when you're being sent out into a world like a sheep and you're surrounded by wolves.
27:21Well, just being a sheep is going to attract the wolf, okay?
27:25And I think you need to understand that so that you, first of all, can stop thinking that you're doing something because you'll keep putting yourself down.
27:34And guess what?
27:35They'll be continually taking total advantage of you.
27:38You know, like a sheep, they are drawn to your softness.
27:44And then like eagles, they're drawn to your strength, okay?
27:51You have the ability to make broken people feel whole.
27:56You don't give up on them right away.
27:57You keep seeking to help them.
27:59You keep it.
28:00That's that sheep mentality.
28:03You know, you're attracting them because the warmth of your presence is like an unto a sheep and sheep attract wolves.
28:11This concept is fulfilling, okay?
28:15When we understand what we're going through, why we're dealing with these types of things, then you'll stop putting on yourself and you'll start learning to be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove, just as Jesus said.
28:28He told you.
28:29You see, when you have this religious mentality, you can't think out of the box of religion.
28:36And Jesus was not about religion.
28:38He was never about religion, all right?
28:41He understood the world system.
28:44He understood people.
28:45You know, he wasn't just talking about, okay, you know, a whole church situation or you're going to witness and somebody don't like you and so on and so forth.
28:54That's okay.
28:55That's good.
28:55That's first dimensional.
28:57But let's take it to the deeper dimensions of what he's saying.
29:01That, you know, you're liking unto a sheep.
29:04You have the nature of Christ.
29:05You have the mind of Christ.
29:07So, guess what?
29:08Like sheep, you're going to attract wolves.
29:10Be wise.
29:12Okay?
29:13Be harmless as a dove, but be wise.
29:16That's why we're teaching you about the power of your dimension and your presence and how important it is.
29:21This all connects to what we've been teaching you all along.
29:25Like I said, understanding Matthew 10.
29:27Okay?
29:27Yes, we understand that part of it for ministry.
29:31Okay?
29:31You know, then people want to just keep it kind of churchified, if that's even a word.
29:39Okay?
29:39But when it comes to marriage and relationships and building, you know, listen, you make people feel whole.
29:49But guess what?
29:50Feeling whole is not being whole.
29:52And you can't make someone be whole.
29:55Okay?
29:56No more than a sheep can make a wolf be a sheep.
30:00Okay?
30:00Why do you keep attracting emotionally unavailable relationships?
30:05The answer is sheep don't have to do anything to attract wolves.
30:11Okay?
30:11It's not your fault.
30:14A wolf is a wolf, and he gets sensitive.
30:17The presence of sheep, he's coming after it.
30:21And that's likened on to the...
30:23Thank you, Jojavai.
30:25Thank you, Joey.
30:27It's likened on to a wolf.
30:29Okay?
30:30Okay?
30:31It's not your fault.
30:34You're not doing anything to attract, you know, devils and wolves and the things that are coming.
30:40Okay?
30:41Understand what Jesus was saying.
30:43Meaning, you wise, be wise.
30:45He's saying be wise.
30:46Be wise means you must have the wisdom.
30:49You obviously have it, or he wouldn't say be it.
30:51Okay?
30:52So be wise, and then understand you a little bit better.
30:58Understand you.
30:59This hopefully helps you to dig deeper into you, because you'd be thinking there's something wrong with you because somebody acting, you know, like a wolf.
31:09That's what I use.
31:10I use that.
31:11Acting like a wolf.
31:12You see, you love deeply.
31:14That's very attractive to wolves.
31:18You know, to someone who only loves safely or conveniently.
31:25Someone who loves deeply, regardless, no matter.
31:28That's attractive.
31:29That's not you.
31:31That's not your fault.
31:32You can't change once you take on the spirit of living God.
31:36You now have the mind of Christ, the nature of God.
31:40You can't change that.
31:42Okay?
31:43You can let them in fully, but their closeness is just close enough to take what they need and leave you unfulfilled and lacking.
31:57Are you listening?
31:59Okay?
31:59We're talking about emotionally unavailable relationships.
32:03Wolves want the sheep, but they don't want the wolf.
32:07Okay?
32:08Because wolf takes work.
32:10And if you've ever seen them have to, a sheep have to be shaved, and when all that wool has to go through, it is work.
32:15So, they take from you, wolves will take from you what they never were able to give.
32:26They take.
32:27They're takers.
32:30You know, you gave respect, even though they never earned it.
32:35Never earned it.
32:37And they take from you.
32:38And in most cases, if they were, you know, that child mentality, see, they never knew how to receive, you know, because they were still immature.
32:51You had the patience and the understanding that they freely received, yet they never gave it.
33:01What is that?
33:02See, those kinds of situations will make you feel less than.
33:06It makes you feel like you're doing something wrong, like something is wrong with you.
33:11Like, why is this?
33:12I did what I was, you know, I did everything I knew to do.
33:15And so, you know, you've had those conversations when you're dealing with someone who is emotionally unavailable.
33:23They don't even see your effort as that.
33:27They see that as something for them only.
33:31It's not even about you.
33:33They don't even understand the sacrifices and the depths in which you gave in and endured to be with them and to help them.
33:40They don't, they're emotionally unavailable.
33:44Okay?
33:44So, you're patiently accepting them.
33:48It doesn't cause them to treat you as you treat them.
33:53Isn't that something?
33:54That you can patiently accept them, make them feel wanted and accept it.
34:01And yet, it doesn't cause them to treat you any better.
34:05Why?
34:07Because a wolf in sheep's clothing is still a wolf.
34:11A wolf is a wolf is a wolf.
34:14And you may not want to see that.
34:17I'm going by the scripture.
34:18I ain't calling nobody nothing.
34:20I'm just going by the word of God.
34:21I'm broadening, hopefully to broaden your thinking, your thoughts, widening your territory so that you can understand when that kind of relationship approaches you.
34:34What did Jesus say?
34:35What did Jesus say?
34:36Be wise as a serpent.
34:37Don't be someone who's running after being validated and someone who needs to be needed.
34:45Because then you're not going to be wise.
34:48That wolf is going to take total advantage, especially if you're single and you're still believing for relationship.
34:55I don't believe age has anything to do with what God decides when he gives a relationship.
35:02He sends someone in your life.
35:03And many times we think age has nothing to do with how old you are.
35:09When God blesses you, he blesses you.
35:11But he wants you to learn some things.
35:12Maybe this time of singleness or oneness is your classroom.
35:18It's your time of learning.
35:19It's these types of lessons that prepare you and position you for what God really wants to do in your life, who he really wants to send in your life so that you're not, you know, fooled and drained, you know, of all the goodness that you have to share.
35:36OK, so again, you know, a wolf in sheep's clothing is still he can look like a sheep.
35:43He can act like she can look like a sheep.
35:46She can because I don't want to be one side.
35:48This is both sided.
35:49OK, they can look like a sheep.
35:53OK, but it's still a wolf.
35:56OK, so emotionally unavailable people, they don't really want love.
36:01Just the feeling of being loved.
36:05OK, why?
36:05Because then that keeps them without the responsibility to love.
36:12Oh, you're listening.
36:13So because emotionally they're not there.
36:16They're still at an immature childlike state.
36:19They're still present in the past traumas that they endured.
36:24And again, it's maybe not their fault.
36:26We don't look in it that way.
36:28We're just, again, understanding the root cause.
36:31And so they just want that feeling of being loved.
36:37They don't want the responsibility to love.
36:40OK, just the feeling of being loved.
36:44Hopefully that makes sense to you.
36:47All right.
36:47They want the price of love.
36:50That's better.
36:51Yeah.
36:52Without commitment.
36:54OK, to the cost of love.
36:57Let's put it that way.
36:58They want the price of love without the commitment.
37:03OK, to the cost of love, because love is very costly.
37:09It's very sacrificial.
37:12It's very giving.
37:14It's something that you choose to do.
37:16And I say you choose it because when you're done with it, you choose not to do it anymore.
37:20So it is a decision.
37:22It is a choice.
37:23Your loyalty.
37:24They want your loyalty.
37:26Watch this.
37:27Without their commitment of fidelity.
37:29And fidelity is not just sexually only.
37:31But it's being committed to something other than you.
37:34It's engaging with someone or something more than you.
37:37So, again, they want your loyalty without their commitment of fidelity.
37:43OK, so they want your presence without them being present.
37:49So that's something that they're never present, but they want you present.
37:53You're attracting them because your presence is calm in the midst of their chaos.
38:00Your presence is healing, you know, in the midst of their hurting.
38:05And they can receive all those things.
38:08OK, but they are not mature enough to give them because they are emotionally unavailable.
38:15Again, if this is helping you, if this is preparing you, you know what?
38:20Your birth date, which that's another teaching coming up.
38:22It'll really bless you because it's more than a birth date.
38:25It's your season.
38:26OK, it's your birth season, which says a whole lot about you and who you are.
38:31You know, your very inner dimensions and how God has created you.
38:36And if we could just be more focused on how God has made us and what he has done in our lives
38:43and not be so quick to put ourselves down when someone else treats us poorly.
38:49It's very important to realize that when you know that you've done what is right,
38:55when you know you've done right by a person, you know, that's the enemy pulling you down.
39:00That's the enemy trying to that's that wolf mentality, making it like it's your fault.
39:05You know, like like if you shouldn't have, you know, if you want a sheep, I wouldn't bother.
39:09Well, that's ridiculous.
39:10OK, you are likened on to the scripture says he says, I'm sending you like sheep.
39:17OK, in the midst of wolves.
39:19So that means you have to pull out your discernment tools and your instruments and your emotions
39:26and start allowing your emotions to minister and show you so that you'll know how to respond
39:32and deal with this.
39:33You know, we talked before about a cycle breaker.
39:36Break the cycle.
39:37Understand this type of emotional unavailability so that this is something that you can zero in on
39:46and you won't ever have to even deal with this again because you'll be right.
39:50It'll be a part of of your understanding, your knowing and your knower.
39:54You know these things.
39:56OK, and when you break that cycle, deal with your.
40:03You know, self-worth.
40:06Stop trying to prove yourself worthy of love.
40:13If you always feel like you got to prove something and this is somebody who's supposed to love you.
40:19Well, wolves can't love.
40:21Remember, they can receive love, but they ain't trying to give it because it's too costly and
40:25they don't want the responsibility of it.
40:27All right.
40:28And so you have to understand, you know, your self-worth and not feel like you just got to have somebody or you need to be with somebody.
40:37Some people are sacrificing their life because in their mindset, that that broken mentality thinking they have to have somebody.
40:48So at all costs, they really give up their life trying to be with someone who's no more than a wolf.
40:53They're never going to receive what it is because that wolves don't do that.
40:58They devour, they destroy.
41:00That's what they come to do.
41:01So, again, you don't prove yourself.
41:06Your self-worth is what you understand the price that you've had to pay.
41:12You know, you understand you are worthy of the type of love the Bible speaks of and that you will settle for less.
41:19But, you know, you want someone who doesn't, why would you want to be with someone who you're constantly having to explain yourself?
41:27You're constantly having to prove yourself.
41:30You're always on the edge, on eggshells.
41:33That's not, that's a wolf and a sheep.
41:37That's a very uncomfortable situation.
41:39So, again, you don't want to keep trying to prove yourself that you're worthy of love to someone who doesn't even know the worth of love.
41:50They don't know it because they've never paid the price of it.
41:55So you've got to resolve to receive the kind of love that you've been designed to give.
42:01Hear that again.
42:02Hear that again now.
42:03Resolve that you will receive the kind of love that you've been designed to give.
42:13You receive what you've been designed to give.
42:17That's your design.
42:18You're designed to give love.
42:21And so you will have to wait and let God send you someone.
42:25Okay?
42:27Listen.
42:27The right to choose yourself is when the wrong people will stop choosing you.
42:36The right to choose yourself, and that is your right.
42:42That's when the wrong people are going to stop coming around.
42:44That's when those wolves are going to stop chasing after you.
42:49That part of you that always thought you had to fight for love, you're loose from that.
42:58I loose you from that in Jesus' name.
43:01Okay?
43:01And through performance, you've got to look and be a certain way.
43:08You know, you've got to earn your love.
43:12You've got to be sacrificing everything just to earn something that's really not even love.
43:17Because if I have to be earned, it's not love.
43:20Okay?
43:20Love is not to be proved through performance or chaste as to win something or win someone.
43:30You know, for man or woman to choose you is by your worth, not your performance, not what they think you should be.
43:40Real love comes as clarity, not confusion.
43:45And you say, well, it's a sacrifice.
43:47But no, it's not a sacrifice.
43:49When you really understand your worth, the price you pay is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your mind, whatever that costs, you do that.
43:59But when it comes to people, we're talking about a whole different realm.
44:03You love them as you love yourself.
44:05And our biggest problem is we don't love ourselves.
44:08And that's why we allow these types of wolves in our lives.
44:11And they really just cause, you know, the Bible says like a wolf entering and scattering the sheep, scattering lives.
44:20But you're not that anymore.
44:21You understand better.
44:23Okay?
44:23You're seeing yourself in a light of your presence and how important your presence is because that's what we've been teaching for the past few weeks.
44:31Now, emotionally unavailable people, guess what?
44:34They are experts at giving almost just enough.
44:39You know, never enough to balance the yoke because I began to study that and understand a yoke that's unbalanced will kill an ox.
44:58Do you realize that a team of oxen, if that, no matter how strong they are, if that yoke is not balanced, you know, it's just a matter of time and it will kill that ox.
45:11So, again, think about that now because someone who's emotionally unavailable, they're only going to give you just enough to just keep you going.
45:20You're going to always be on the working side, on the hard side.
45:25That yoke is unbalanced and you're going to always be trying to make something happen that's not even there.
45:33It's not available.
45:34It's unavailable.
45:36Okay?
45:37So, you'll find that, watch this, it was an attachment, not a connection.
45:42An attachment is very different from a connection.
45:47All right?
45:48Because attachment, something is attached.
45:49It can easily be removed.
45:51But when you connect, that's whole different.
45:53That's both connecting and holding together.
45:57Attach is just the one.
45:58So, it's very important to understand maybe if you had to go through that, live through any of that.
46:04You know, God will always, you know, first he wants to heal you.
46:08Then he wants to confirm it to you so that you can say, yes, I relate.
46:12I can see that, been there, done that.
46:14He wants you to understand what happened so that you can proceed differently.
46:19Okay?
46:20Proceed wisely.
46:22You can proceed forward.
46:25Okay?
46:26It's a big, you know, lesson learned.
46:30And thank God that once you learn it, you can move forward.
46:35All right?
46:35Because like I said, God doesn't allow, you know, his to be messed over, not continually.
46:41After a while, he puts a stop to it and they lose access.
46:44As we've talked before, when someone loses access to your presence, you know, that's going to be a great loss for them.
46:51Far more for them than you.
46:52Of course, you wanted it to work.
46:54You wanted things.
46:54You did what you could.
46:56But when God says access denied, then that's the end of it.
47:00Because God will not allow you to just continually be, you know, abused and ignored and mistreated.
47:07All right?
47:07So, again, that unequal yoke, of course, we know for 2 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 14 talks about, you know, be not unequally yoked, you know, together.
47:20He says there's no balance there, that somebody's going to die.
47:25And we're talking, you know, spiritually, of course, but mentally, the heartbreak, it's not going to work.
47:31So, this is, you know, something to help you to identify, locate, and eradicate so that you can understand and understand this.
47:40They want to be attached, but not close enough to be connected.
47:46And that's important because when someone is connected, then they are emotionally available.
47:53And that's how you can tell when someone is connected because emotionally they're there.
47:59They're present.
48:00They want to hear what you have to say.
48:02They don't dismiss your feelings.
48:04They don't cut you off and not allow you to share what's going on.
48:07They're not, you know, in the midst of walking while you're talking, okay?
48:15It's very, you know, harmful, that kind of relationship, okay?
48:20Again, they want you present only for what they need.
48:25They want you available, but don't, but don't you hold them accountable, okay?
48:32Because they don't, you know, they're not there yet.
48:34And again, we showed the root causes.
48:37We understand that.
48:37So, we're not angry.
48:38We're not, you know, again, it's no kind of revenge or none of that.
48:42This is, you know, how I said before, we're not blaming.
48:47We're explaining because I think that it's very important to be able to identify and understand
48:54situations so that you can simply approach it better.
48:57I think Jesus said it best.
48:59He says, I'm sending you as sheep in the midst of rat and raving wolves.
49:04And I think we need to take that beyond the little religious concept that we've adopted
49:10all these years, all right?
49:11The painful truth is not they're losing you, but losing their comfort zone.
49:21That's what is so painful.
49:25They don't realize the sacrifice, the hurt, and the pain that it causes you, you know, when
49:31that breakup happens, when you have to leave, when God says enough is enough.
49:35That's a painful truth, but it's not about them losing you.
49:40It's about them losing their comfort zone.
49:43That's why they're so quick to find somebody else.
49:46They're not looking for love.
49:47They're looking for someone to comfort and be their convenience.
49:51That's all.
49:52When you finally realize that you deserve the one, not just someone, I need somebody, don't
50:02ever adopt that mentality.
50:04The one that God will bring will never make you shrink to fit into their emotional, unavailable
50:12comfort zone.
50:14Glory to God.
50:16Emotionally unavailable people don't learn when you stay, okay?
50:22It's when you break free that they realize what they mistook for granted is now gone.
50:30And it may take a while, but they'll understand.
50:34And hopefully it will help them to seek God to change that wolf mentality, that takers mentality,
50:46you know, only caring about themselves and their pain and their hurt and never understanding,
50:53but always dismissing your pain and your hurt and your discomfort.
50:58This is, again, that's how they learn.
51:01Unfortunately, if you stay, it's just, you're abating, helping them to stay the same way.
51:09That's why God knows when it has to be stopped.
51:15And then what happens?
51:17You choose yourself.
51:18You choose your peace.
51:21I've come to find out that the peace that passes all understanding is priceless.
51:28When you choose your peace and love that gives and doesn't drain, okay?
51:39The kind of love that never questions your worth, but cherishes your presence and understand,
51:47then you begin to see that God was teaching you all along.
51:52And I don't know why we have to live through and deal with, go with those kinds of things.
51:57Only God knows that.
51:59But he will bring you out, I assure you.
52:02And he will bring you out with wisdom.
52:04You'll be as wise as a serpent.
52:07You'll be as harmless as a dove.
52:12The love you were designed for doesn't require you to suffer and perform to prove your self-worth.
52:23You know, that's not love.
52:26You no longer crave that kind of love from people who don't know how to give love.
52:31They don't know what love is.
52:33They only know what they want for the moment.
52:36And once they receive that, like I said, they're not concerned about you.
52:42It's not a full transaction.
52:44It is one way.
52:46And as I said before, if they lose that, that's why they quit to find somebody else.
52:50And unfortunately, there'll always be someone.
52:54There's always another sheep, okay, that they'll be drawn and attracted to.
52:59So understand this.
53:02Emotionally mature love is what attracts emotionally mature love.
53:10And I can't stress enough, it was never you.
53:14Someone who obviously had some really neglect in their upbringing, some serious past traumas and hurts that they're dealing with.
53:24We pray for them.
53:25We intercede and ask God to have mercy on them.
53:28But we do not engage or go back or re-engage in those types of situations.
53:35We trust God for whatever he removes from your life.
53:39He will replace it with way better.
53:42He's just known for that.
53:43That's his nature.
53:45He always likes the best.
53:47And so, Spirit of the Living God, I want to thank you now for this understanding of what it is to be emotionally available as well as emotionally unavailable.
53:58We understand now that, yes, we are sheep in the midst of wolves.
54:04And therefore, we are wise as serpents and harmless as a dove.
54:11And we continue to learn and grow so that you can continue to bless us.
54:18And we will be patient and we will wait for you to send the one that you would have for us to love.
54:25And that one who will give the kind of love that I was designed to receive in Jesus' mighty name.
54:34Amen and amen.
54:35And I hope today's lesson, which is kind of a little different direction, but I believe it's the will of the Lord for us to have happy and wonderful relationships,
54:45whether it be in a marital situation or whether it be family, siblings, parents, friendships, whatever it is.
54:55God wants you to understand, okay, these things that happen so that we can better, you know, move forward and approach situations with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.
55:09We thank you for it, Father.
55:11We call these things done.
55:12Not one word will fall to the ground.
55:14You will bless your people.
55:16You will restore from then up until now.
55:20What you have removed, you will divinely replace.
55:25And we call it done.
55:27And it is so in Jesus' name.
55:30God bless you.
55:31Listen, we start a whole new topic come Wednesday 7, right back at it again.
55:36And I believe, again, the word of the Lord is how we will get through these times and how we will flourish.
55:43We are not just surviving.
55:45We are thriving because the word of God has got it like that.
55:49Thank you, God.
55:51We receive all you have for us in Jesus' name.
55:53Look, we'll see you then.
55:54God bless you.
55:55Seven o'clock, right on point.
55:57Wednesday, we'll see you then.
55:58God bless.
56:02Hello, Kingdom Citizens.
56:03Welcome to Word Up Ministries.
56:05Here are our announcements for today.
56:07Join Evangelist Melinda Vaughan on Tuesday, December 9, 2025 at 1 p.m. in Woodbridge, New Jersey, for Kingdom Study.
56:21For location, email us at wordupinc at yahoo.com.
56:26For details, go to wordupinc.org and click on Special Events.
57:01Good day at night, wonderful, beautiful, beautiful
57:12Sadness, wonderful, beautiful
57:31Shalom
58:01Oh, there's one down there
58:09Look at
58:10He's calling me
58:15He's calling from the mountain to the sea
58:18He's calling me
58:21He's calling me
58:23He's calling me
58:24He's calling me
58:25He's calling me
58:26He's calling me
58:27He's calling me
58:28He's calling me
58:29He's calling me
58:30He's calling me
58:31He's calling me
58:32He's calling me
58:33He's calling me
58:34He's calling me
58:35He's calling me
58:36He's calling me
58:37He's calling me
58:38He's calling me
58:39He's calling me
58:40He's calling me
58:41He's calling me
58:42He's calling me
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