00:00the artist job I was a security guard at Wimbledon I worked at Taco Bell I was
00:16the meat and bean guy pizza delivery guy oh it's very exciting you're like the one
00:22that you it's like the Domino's ad and then there's this I showed up at my
00:27teachers house delivering pizza Miss Dickey Thompson I had the biggest crush
00:32on her she was hammered I sold chip which you remember chip which this it's
00:36like a ice cream sandwich really bad really bad tasting I was involved in the
00:41Canadian junior astronaut program and I've been to the moon many times I worked
00:47in a in a locker room in a public swimming pool in Southeast DC you know when you
00:54start out to give you the worst street and it was like near the Lincoln Tunnel
00:57by this Polish Catholic Church and it was pretty much only prostitutes and
01:01and they don't do ice and commuters I worked for the Department of Homeland
01:06Security what Customs and Border Protection you were a spy in high school I was a
01:12shampoo girl at a hair salon for years I was a goth shampoo girl you know remember
01:20that I love it I think the oddest thing about that job though was that there was
01:26a riot at this pool one day when it was it was it was you know there was a young
01:33woman who apparently was kicked out of the pool by the lifeguard she came back
01:37with her army and they tried to destroy the place I worked with Christina at the
01:44hair salon sweeping up hair I can say with some certainty that I and I'm proud to say
01:50that I can wash a set of dishes quicker cleaner and change a baby neater than
01:55nine out of ten women I was a waitress for a day and a man slapped my ass and I
02:03got the plate of pasta and poured it on his lap and that was my waitressing
02:06experience great that yeah basically all I did was teach the elders how to use the
02:13computer and I answered a whole lot of letters from people who were really pissed
02:18about having their fruit implants taken away I also did worked with animals
02:23movies I doubled for a grizzly bear to film it's like I couldn't sell anything
02:30I'm just sitting here I'm trying to stop guys and they're like guys going to
02:33Jersey and then these girls were there and they're like it's really hot and so
02:37I gave away some and so it didn't work I was fired after two days it's like
02:42where's the account the count is off you're like 12 ice cream short and you
02:46have no money so yeah
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